Original subtitles

[music playing]

WOMAN: A safari was somethingwe both looked forward to.

That's Godfrey.

Godfrey was always fascinatedby the athleticism of the Masai.

So was I. They were very colorful.

Quite frightening, actually,but-- as you can see,

it wasn't all play.

[knocking]

WOMAN ON PHONE: And I can'tleave the phone booth.

Let me tell you, I am not paying you cash.

I'm paying you by check.

What color is the car?

Lady, I have anemergency case of 999 call.

What?

Well, that will have to wait.

Fascinating.

Now I'm sure some of you must have

questions to ask of Mrs. Matthews,

so I'll just step aside for a moment.

[dialing]

My mother's died.

Show some damned respect.

[ringing]

Hello?

Hello, Willie Boy.

Yes?

Yes, speaking.

Derek, from Snidington.

WILLIE BOY: Everything OK?

It's fine.

Plenty of time to relax.

Just a nice little friendly, yeah?

A what?

DEREK: Friendly match.

Oh, a friendly.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Right.

DEREK: See you tomorrow, then.

Right, right. Yeah, right.

I'll check you later.

DEREK: Bye bye.

Bye.

[applause]

[music playing]

RADIO: It's true.

It's true what songs and songs say--

[music playing]

[horns]

[crash]

You nearly knocked down my dad?

Yeah?

Well, he shouldn't jump outin front of moving cars then,

should he?

[laughter]

[horn]

I don't know what you'relooking at me like that for.

What's up with you?

Well, say something.

Where you going?

What's a matter, man?

Nothing.

What--

[screeching tires]

You should be-- father, who?

You know what I'm talking about, Errol.

Yvette.

Her what?

Are you a social worker or something?

No.

Much, the bloody walking dead.

[music playing]

[cat-calls]

That's our fine girl.

Yeah, well come back tomorrowwhen you finish that one.

What do you fancy, then?

[cheering]

I wouldn't rule out trouble.

You be out and about with the constable?

Oh.

Perhaps.

There's drugs to contend with.

That's part of their culture.

They're liable to burn a few buildings down,

if things don't go their way.

Don't talk bloody wet, friend.

Oh.

Talking with them, aye?

You read a paper lately, have you?

- Yeah. - Watched any telly?

Yeah.

That's all there for you to see,

whether you like it or not.

Facts are facts.

There's no point in buryingour head in the sand.

[music playing]

What's happening?

Jeff, everybody.

You seen the boys?

Yes.

But everybody reach--

[non-english speech]

No wonder Jeff coming.

Coming or what?

How do you freak your twist meeting her?

I'm nobody's keeper.

Nobody's seen the Yute's, yeah?

One of them there matched the dollars.

Supposedly he can't be far behind.

Why, those blasted young pips today,

they have no respect for their elders.

What, are you surprised?

Any way, we can still make ateam meeting with all them.

Why is it that every timewe have a game to play,

we always look down this argument?

Listen, bro, we're not the MCC, you know.

Men have to work and hustle.

All right.

OK, man.

OK.

Now, I've been in touchwith the people all week.

I just finished talking with the captain.

Now, weather permitting, the game is on.

Look, man.

I have a blues to play at.

See?

You didn't tell us nothing.

Now some of us got other arrangements.

I don't have nothing foryou, except a plate of bread.

Hey, Boots, no need to talk to him like that.

Maybe if you had a jobinstead of chopping rubbish.

All right, all right, all right.

Listen, everybody.

Brixton called Mr. Doris Horse in Snidington.

Sunday, 2:00 PM.

40 over sprintings.

Nobody to go more than 8 overs.

Normal Sunday one.

Their rules.

Now here, we have tomake an early start so we

can make all we can of it.

Louis, you can get the coach run by the Brixton

recreation center by 9:00?

Yeah, no problem.

Good.

But somebody should maybeget some direction there?

Huh?

Well, I never hear aboutno place called Snidington.

And what are we going todo about accommodations?

MAN: Well, the people agreed to give me

a place to stay and entertain usas part of the African family.

Lord.

African family.

Listen, I know what theseEnglish people can be like,

you know?

Well, I ain't staying in no friggin' stable.

So let me make that crystal clear.

[laughter]

My usual, please dear.

Yeah?

Hold this down.

There you go.

No, thank you.

Good night.

[laughter]

A low ride, sister.

Why's she live so far out?

She's like an ex-nun, cloistered away.

You can't have an ex-nun.

Once you're in, you're in.

As the actress said to the bishop.

[laughter]

[music playing]

Joe--

I won't be long, OK?

Willie why go rich?

Have I missed anything?

Sit down.

Have a drink, man.

Take a weight off your suit.

[laughter]

You drinking a Pils?

No, thanks.

I'm just here.

Well, it seems like theteam picked itself, only us.

Jeff, you make it at the recreation

center, 9:00 o'clock, right?

Right, but we can preparesomething for the journey.

I'll see what I can do.

Good.

Well, you can bring some bread from your bakery?

I can bake all the bread we need, man.

[loud music]

Hey, Jeff, you're coming on like

a pussy-cat on a hot tin roof.

Relax now, man.

I've got a wife and childoutside in the car, man.

So what, you can't bring them in.

I'll see you tomorrow, OK.

I thought slavery done.

[shouting]

[laughter]

I got it in.

Got what in?

The box.

I'm testing it out.

How's it feel?

Good.

Good.

Give it a whack.

Go on.

[laughter]

It's good.

It's good.

And again, this time harder.

[laughter]

Well, their preparationare-- it's a trifle unorthodox.

Mm.

[sirens]

[coughing]

Fool.

[street conversation]

Hey, that's Clive Lloyd.

Lead the boys in.

[laughter]

[loud music]

Look like we all need a drink.

Well, the match is on.

Yeah?

Uh, you and Masie can haveboth packed with the food

tomorrow?

Thanks a lot.

Yeah, all right.

What time?

9:00 o'clock outside theBrixton recreation center.

[music playing]

Let me get two long glass, right, Errol?

Errol, boy, where you been?

I had business to take care of.

Why?

Want to buy my jacket?

Hey, give me ten.

Who you calling yute?

Pass the draw, man.

Laurel and Hardy's here.

Hey.

What do you mean by nearly running me down?

Is he talking to me?

Listen here, little sharp ass--

you try it again and I'll putone set of licks in your clasp.

Yeah, you know where I'm at.

You hear what I'm saying?

You seem to have a little chick.

Listen to me, boy.

When I'm talking to you, show some respect.

I'll not be letting my daughter--

Listen, man.

I'm sick of you trying to big time everybody.

Fixing up game with white folklike you're doing ask a favor.

Now me, I don't want to playwith those sort of people.

So just fuck off!

All right, all right.

I don't think there's anyneed for any argument.

Argument?

I'm going to kill him!

[screaming]

[record scratches]

Stop it!

[more screaming]

Be cool, be cool, be cool!

Though he was ripped, slightlysteady, is that all right--

[bar goes quiet]

Don't touch me, Errol.

I don't want to see you again.

Understand?

[door slamming]

No, no, no.

It's all right. It's all right.

I'll go with her.

You stay here, all right?

Yvette?

[laughter]

Well, all right, Robert.

You don't got to sleep on the sofa.

No?

If I go home, that's where Celia's

going to make me sleep any how.

Look like Yvette not home yet.

You are worried?

Well, she's practical, isn't she?

I wish I could act so cool.

You used to be cool.

I don't know what happenedto your head lately.

Celia beginning to cheese me off.

I tell her I'm going home this Christmas

for six weeks-- you know, look for a job,

explore the possibilities.

You know what I mean.

And what she say?

She say if I go home, Imustn't bother to come back.

She say we all go together or none of us.

But I'm going, man.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Why you don't send she?

So she can stay over therelike Mildred done to you?

Mildred's supposed to stay.

So what you trying to say?

Nothing, man.

But I thought you were supposed to follow.

I will.

[laughter]

You think I'm joking?

But when, man?

When?

Don't you see that's just it.

I was 23 when I made thebiggest decision of my life

as to whether to cross the Atlantic

and put a whole newperspective on my future.

Now look at me, nearly 50, fucking myself up

trying to make the same decision again.

The same friggin' thing in reverse.

Take it easy, Robert.

Take it easy, man.

How many more to come?

Three or four.

Boys, quarter past nine.

Why these people can't keep any time?

Look, while we're waiting, we might

as well take a team photo.

A what?

A team photo.

In this rain?

Well, why not?

You know, as a souvenir for the record.

Well, I hope you win inSuffolk better than this.

All right.

Everybody out of the coach.

We're taking the team photo.

What?

Ah, man.

- We look like fish to you.- Yes, in this.

Yeah, but Alfie don't show yet.

Well, he miss the picture.

Tell me, what happened?

You married to Alfie?

[laughter]

Ah, man.

Come still, Yvette.

You all right?

I been looking for you all morning.

I wasn't there.

Only went in half an hour ago.

Where were you?

Out.

Out where?

Just out.

I'll explain later, dad.

In a Brixton yard.

Don't touch me.

You look like a chain gang.

The least some other cando is uncurl your top lip.

Come on, man.

We haven't got all day.

Boy, take the photograph, man.

You can't see really faron most par Reggae dancer.

All right, all right.

Where's moving

Take the picture, you fool.

OK, hold it.

Smile.

Right.

I better get the next one--

No, no!

[inaudible].

Jeff, come on there, man.

We don't have all day.

Anything I can do to help?

You know anyone in the mafia?

It reached that state?

[horn]

All right.

Roll.

[engine]

[music playing]

[birds chirping]

WOMAN: So enchanting,like a ship in full sail.

[hammering]

It's a shame we can'tkeep it here all the time.

I'm jiggered.

I'm sure Budly would have come,

but he's terribly busy this morning.

Come on, Jess.

[traffic]

How do you mean shestayed by you last night?

I told you, man.

We just sat, you know, and talked.

Did you fuck her?

Don't be a prick, Errol.

What, is there somethingwrong with me asking?

Nah, nah.

So, uh, have you finished with her, then?

Not open yet, eh?

I wouldn't still here if it was.

All right.

I can see we're on the ball today.

You lot put that there tent up?

We have, no thanks to you, I might add.

That's your problem.

We ain't laborers.

Shouldn't you begetting back now, darling?

What for?

They'll be here soon.

I thought we mighthave a spot of lunch yet.

Tell them I'll just have a quick one.

I won't be long.

I hoped I could do it myself, Derek.

[music playing]

WILLIE BOY: Do you know where we are?

I thought you weresupposed to be navigator?

Well, in that case, we lost.

Take a left.

Left?

Left to where-- just drive, all right?

[inaudible] giving you out of the way free.

See you in a short while.

[music playing]

Bloody hell.

Oh, dear.

Never mind.

I'm sure there's somebodywho will wipe it off for you.

Ah, what's that?

What is it?

WILLIE BOY: So where we supposed to be now?

Right there.

There.

Right there.

I tell you, man-- in thismap, this road don't exist.

You know you guys are really stupid.

I go and ask somebody.

[horns]

What the fuck's the matter with you?

Listen, man, I was just trying to help.

We could be here all day, you know?

Yes, waiting for an ambulance to pick

up your scattered remnants.

[reggae music playing]

OK.

We solved it.

We have everything figured out now.

RADIO: Oh, yeah.

I see you every time you dance.

I see you in your sexy pants.

I see you looking for a man.

Every time I walk past you, girl, oh, you're

looking so healthy on me.

[band tuning up]

Put that in here so it covers up that big--

[reggae music playing]

RADIO: I see you when you bump and grind.

I see you and [inaudible].

I see you because I'm not blind.

Come on, Jess.

[music playing]

Hey, look man, you want [inaudible]?

You don't think he runs a prison?

[inaudible], you [inaudible].

They're here.

They're here!

There they are.

Jesus Christ.

I hope they're expecting somebody else.

[band playing]

Here they are.

What are we going to do now, dad?

A couple of swift pints,and then down the road

to the biggest tea party.

Yeah, do.

That you do, Bob.

There's a trailer.

[crowd]

OLD MAN: Know we're playing cricket?

He's one of them lads.

Go on.

Hunt them.

Ah, there we, boy.

Come on.

Come right down.

Well, now today it is mygreat pleasure to welcome

to Snidington the successful West

Indian cricket team from Brixton,

London-- the Conquistadors.

[applause]

Their presence here is a fittingclimax to our third world week.

And I'm sure I speak for all of Snidington

in saying that we hope this weekend will

be an especially happy one.

[applause]

[inaudible].

Would you like to?

[applause]

We're pleased to be here, all of us.

And naturally, we're hopingto give you a good game.

Most of the boys is Jamaican,so this is a majority decision.

We had whip round, and wedecided to get you this.

Oh, sorry.

Here. - Charming.

Absolutely charming.

[applause]

I'm not fucking Jamaican.

[applause]

Now in a couple of hours, the vicar will

be having a small reception.

Until then, I think we hadbetter get you all billeted.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

[applause]

I am Miss Rye.

Well, please to meet you.

Pleased to meet you, Mr. Willie Boy.

You will be staying with me.

Come along.

DEREK: Willie Boy, raise!

[laughter]

There, Mr. Willie, is our church.

Not far now.

Only a mile or so.

[inaudible].

A swinging leg-cutter.

On occasion, we all can.

Why?

Quickly, please.

Giving the game there, isn't it?

Just have a glance through that.

You'll find Rabbit Inn, Valentine,

Gibbs-- great spinners.

You see, I don't understandwhy all of the sudden you chaps

want to be speed merchants.

Derek's been doing his homework.

After all, that's a captain's job.

So you think you could take us then?

I'm quietly confident.

You want to make a [inaudible] bet over it?

So what do you do?

I'm into race relations.

There's not a lot ofcall for that around here.

[laughter]

[music playing]

Come on over.

We must get some tea.

All right.

Colonel?

Would you please come over here?

Um, Colonel, I'd like you to meet Boots.

Boots--

Hey, tell mesomething-- can't you see

that they're oppressing you?

Oppressing us?

What's that?

Yeah, actually I'llhave you know-- thank you.

Thanks.

I was going to have a cake actually.

[laughter]

[inaudible].

Fighting, you know, washing up.

[music playing]

Come on!

Hang on, basket.

Where the hell is he?

Do I look like a clairvoyant to you?

Mr. Willie Boy, are you all right?

I cannot feel my bloody legs.

Do hurry up, or we'll belate for the vicar's tea party.

All right.

Yeah, just a little to theside, so the shards of light

catches you.

Art, yeah?

Real life savior, aren't we?

Don't you think it oughtto be a team photograph?

You want all those ikes in here?

That's it.

[bell]

[music playing]

Well, your friends seem tohave settled down all right.

I'll see you later, then.

Bye.

[bell]

BOOTS: Willie Boy.

[laughter]

Where's your reach, Willie Boy?

Willie Boy, this the vicar's Queen cakes

are so hot for the man.

[laughter]

I don't know.

Pool on a nice evening like this?

It's either pool in here orthat conversation out there.

You want someone else, you just shout.

So what's your names then?

Um, I'm Errol, and he's Stuart.

Well Errol and Stuart, I'mSandra and this is Julie.

I can talk, you know.

I'm Julie.

Yeah, all right.

So shall I play with Errol to start with

and then we can swap round?

We don't care.

Whatever you like.

Who do you want to play with?

You, I suppose.

Well, that's settled then, ain't it?

Sit.

May we join you?

This is [inaudible].

I'm Godfrey Matthews.

Who are you?

Willie Boy.

A nickname, is it?

No.

Lived here long?

Oh, my dear fellow-- too long.

Five years.

Six years.

One day seems much like the next.

Were those your boys I saw earlier today?

Boys?

Tall boys. Striking.

Muscular.

I have a daughter here, but no son.

I wanted to talk to them.

Wanted to ask them about games.

If black men should be playinggames in times like these.

If there aren't moreimportant considerations.

Course we should play games.

Everybody got to relax, man.

The only reason you complaining is because black men

are always licking you.

Well, there may be something in that.

I paid a brief visit to the Caribbean once.

Palm trees, coconuttrees, white beaches, rum.

Corrugated iron roofs.

Hobbits.

Then I went back to Africa.

You used to live in Africa?

Many years.

You didn't like the Caribbean.

I loved it.

Ah.

What about poverty then?

There ain't much poverty inthe Caribbean now, you know?

I've been there.

Don't be ashamed of poverty.

I'm not ashamed.

I'm going back.

You're going back?

[laughter]

We're all going back.

That's where I'm from.

I'm going back.

Hey, that was great.

This lucky guy.

The appliance of science.

Shut up and play the game.

Oh, hey Yvette.

Didn't see you come in.

Do you want a game?

Come on, Stuart.

Aren't you playing?

I'm going for a walk.

Stuart, it's your shot.

MAN: One thing saying colored.

It's quite a different thing saying black.

To start off, they're different implications.

Like on my farm.

Black horses.

White horses.

[laughter]

The same.

Different.

[laughter]

Hey, Yvette, where you going?

For a walk.

Listen, can I come?

On my own.

Can we come?

Explain to us different?

Different!

Different!

I think I better be going now.

I'll come with you.

I was going to buy you all another round.

The night's still young.

Hey, Jeff, man-- you're goingon like a 15-year-old, man.

Your wife out with you tonight, man?

[laughter]

What's going on?

[engine]

Goodnight, Willie Boy.

Sleep tight.

Uh, yeah.

Goodnight, man.

See you sometime tomorrow.

I thought he was a bowler.

So I said to him, what are you bowling?

Chunker's spin,leg-cutters, the odd Yorker?

And he said, strictly pace.

[laughter]

I don't get it.

What's it mean?

Strictly pace.

Oh, you mean fast?

Yeah.

That's what I thought he meant.

I suppose we'll just haveto wait until tomorrow

to find out.

I'm not sure I want to find out.

[music playing]

Are you lost?

A bit.

We're about two mile from the village.

Want a lift back?

No.

If you tell me the way, I'll just walk back.

You got to be joking.

All sorts of stuff happen topeople out in these here lanes.

Come on.

Get in.

We'll give you a lift back.

Well?

Come on in.

Be careful.

[engine]

You like it up here?

What time will yourfriend Boots be coming back?

I don't know.

Is that a problem?

No, no.

I'll just leave the back door open for him.

He can come in when he likes.

Derek always says it'sone of the big advantages

of living in the country.

You don't have that security problem.

Well, I wouldn't know about that.

I've always lived in a town.

[music playing]

[laughter]

FREDDY: I had some oncewith a fellow in the navy.

Not bad.

Quite good.

You need more herbs?

Hey, Freddy, Freddy-- take a next hit, then I

want you to break dance for me.

[laughter]

Thank you very much.

Come on, dad.

Sweet dreams, Freddy.

[engine]

[laughter]

Gobo arrives.

Nothing wrong with a fewminutes of solitary peace.

[inaudible]

Well--

All right, Willie Boy.

All right.

[video game noises]

You seen Yvette anywhere?

Ah, no.

She went for a walk. - With your friend?

No, no.

Errol's not with her.

Don't mess me about.

Excuse me, you having a drink?

I'll have a whiskey-- a bottle.

A whole bottle?

You don't think I have the money to pay for it?

[engine]

[engine cuts off]

Well, what do you think we should do to you?

Could do anything really, couldn't we?

Nobody'd hear.

You won't get far.

There's no one around for miles.

- I'll kill you. - You'll do what?

I'll kill you.

OK.

Who's the first to be killed?

Oh, come on.

This isn't all good.

Let's go back.

What?

After all this?

What do you say, Mic?

I don't know.

Sonny's got a point, I reckon.

After all this?

Why don't you give her one and we'll watch?

Ah.

Very funny.

Drive.

[engine]

Do you have any cigarettes?

Sorry, sir.

I don't understand.

I'm speaking English, aren't I?

I said, do you have any cigarettes?

Oh, I see.

It's after hours.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you--

All right, Derek, just get me a glass.

I have me own drink anyway.

Could you please leave, sir?

I shall have no choice but to have you ejected.

Ejected?

What do you think I am?

A fucking rocket?

[laughter]

Fucking rocket.

Fucking rocket.

Hello there.

Get off.

It's Willie, isn't it?

Yeah, you the guy from this morning.

This morning, yes.

For the-- the captain, yes!

Hi.

How are you doing?

Hello.

Yes.

Yeah, well.

Seeing as how I can't have a drink

and I can't bum a quick smoke,just tell me one thing--

you haven't seen my daughter?

I can't seem to find her anywhere.

Afraid not.

We've been here since, oh,eight-ish, wouldn't you say?

About that, yes.

What-- don't push me.

Sorry, sorry.

I didn't mean to push you.

I'm sorry.

Look, get your hands offof me before I bust you one!

All right, all right.

I-- I'm going.

I'm going.

I ain't a dog.

I ain't a cat.

You'll have to put me out in the night.

Long scotch, Albert, please.

Better make that two.

You fuckers.

You fuckers.

You fuckers.

I hope you don't mind my asking, but are Pat

and Louis together?

Because I put them in separate rooms.

No.

Well, I don't think so.

[clock chiming]

She told me she had a four year old son.

Is he the father of her child?

No.

I didn't mean to pry.

I am.

I'm the father.

You're married, aren't you?

Yes.

Nearly two years.

I have a son of my own.

Do you have any children?

We can't.

At least, we don't think we can.

Derek's having tests.

Do you want one?

More than anything in the world.

Sorry.

I just wanted some water.

Sorry if I've caused you any trouble.

Nah, it's nothing.

You haven't caused any trouble.

Do you care for him?

Have you ever watched a candle go out?

I can't understand why you're on your own.

You're beautiful, you know?

Wrong time, though.

Wrong place.

[cat meowing]

[laughter]

You dirty little fucker.

I'm going to kill you!

You should be locked up, man.

[laughter]

Sorry.

Sorry.

Oh, you can't stop now, Errol.

[birds tweeting]

I won't be long, dear.

[dog panting]

[snoring]

Oh!

[calling out]

I don't remember a blasted thing.

[organ music]

One doesn't.

Come on, Willie Boy.

Ah!

Will you all please stand, andwe will sing hymn number 166.

[organ music]

[singing]

[inaudible].

So you didn't, then?

He wouldn't.

Do you know what these are?

Letters.

They're the people I live with in my dreams.

You read your letters?

Of course.

Do you have your letters?

Gas bill, electricity bill,telephone bill, rates bill.

No continental communication?

Not really.

Only from Mildred, my wife who's back

home checking out the scene.

I see why you end up in graveyards.

Wait, you think there's something wrong with me?

I had a few drinks lastnight and I got dead drunk.

Seemed like a perfectly normal way for a fellow

to behave on a Saturday night.

All right.

Maybe I had a bit more than I would normally,

but I was under pressure, man.

I couldn't find my daughter any place.

You don't have to justify anything to me.

You sure feel as hell asmake me feel as if I have to.

[clock chiming]

A man who prunes his roses and misses

the occasional dysentery.

Remember when you were a childand you had a secret place,

a place you always liked to go to,

where you knew no one could find you?

I used to hide in a cave in Cockushell Beach

and cover the entrance with coconut leaves.

I couldn't manageanything as magical as that.

But I'll show you myadult, ancient equivalent.

It's not actually a secret.

But it serves the same purpose.

Have you played snooker before?

Only once.

I'm not very good at it.

The standard of play is irrelevant.

The rules are of paramount importance.

[laughter]

So long as you know the rules.

[organ music]

Thank you very much.

Bye.

Bye.

Good bye.

Good bye.

Well, I suppose if Willie Boy don't show,

I better take on the captain's role.

Huh.

So what are we going to do without no Jeff?

Captain?

Seems like Jeff don't wantto be around black people

any more.

But even if Willie Boyshow up, we still only have

nine players, you know, Rob-O.

So you going to play twice, Rob-O?

[laughter]

[crowd conversation]

Will the team players report to me first?

Why don't we just dig up an old one?

[engine]

All present and direct.

Will you hang on to this a minute, darling?

[reggae music playing]

RADIO: I tell you that I love you.

We going to play this game or not?

Maybe one of them might have seen him?

I done asked already.

Nobody seen him since he sitlike a pigeon in the square.

So you mean we just wait?

Rob-O--

Well, ready when you are.

Uh, your count's a little bit short.

Yes.

We all fell in the puddle and shrunk.

[laughter]

Right.

Look, there he is!

Hey!

Child, where you been?

No where.

What you mean, no where?

Who you been with?

I've been with nobody, dad.

Nobody.

Dad, I don't want to go on like this any more.

We should be with mom.

Please?

Let's try.

You could call it a holiday, if you like.

We're growing apart.

Growing apart?

Driving each other mad. We don't even realize.

And there's mom.

Look, later, sweetheart.

Just let me do this.

We'll talk later.

I promise.

Morning.

Morning.

All right.

Well let's play hard, but fair--

with passion, and with thebasics upper-most in our mind.

Remember, keep your eye on the ball.

It's as simple as that.

Now then, how's that head, Frederick?

Nothing that a couple ofpints and some swift batting

can't fix.

[laughter]

Well, that's all I've got to say.

Any contributions from you?

Sonny?

Mic?

[loud footsteps]

What happened to Jeff?

Jeff disappeared.

Huh?

Well?

We play.

Hold there, sir.

Sorry.

Batter up!

Come on!

All right, all right.

Now look, although we only got nine men,

Willie Boy still thinks we should go ahead.

Pat, you can play?

No, man.

We can't go so.

I only asked if she can play.

I don't want to play.

It don't look good with a woman any how.

But you ever play?

I don't want to play.

That's all.

Why you don't ask Masie or Yvette?

I don't want to play either.

Masie?

I'll try.

- You can play. - It don't matter.

She can catch a ball and throw it.

The sister have a right to play.

No, man.

This equality shit gone too far.

Boots, man.

Them so come, can gonna play it.

All right, listen-- I don'thave no big speech or team

talk to give nor nothing.

Everybody have their own idea what we doing here

and if we should here on duress.

But now that we here, we might as well play.

And I mean, play.

I don't have no time to foolaround with these people.

A cricket ground ain't no place to separate

the good from the bad.

It's us and them.

No gentlemen shit out there.We play.

We win.

And we gone.

But mostly, we win.

Fair?

All right.

Wicked good.

Wicked.

We'll bat first.

All right.

All right.

Let's do this.

Rob-O, you still feel good to go?

What, you think I over the hill or what?

Hey, you want to open the ball in as well?

No, man.

You want to hit the ballor anything in particular?

Just the ball, Steadroy.

Sure.

[inaudible]

When you get the ball, throw it to Stuart.

Right.

Is that all? - No.

Well, I tell you as we go along.

OK.

Anyone know how to make up a score book?

A what?

I don't.

Hey, man, it look as if you're going to sleep.

Get right.

You can't listen to music andplay cricket at the same time.

I can put it by the oaks here some place.

Ah, you're full of shit.

Look, [inaudible] bowlinginstead of this jackass.

I like bowling, you know.

Yes, I know you likebowling, but don't sacrifice

line and length for piece.

Use your head. - All right.

All right.

Good.

Well, I think we're just about ready.

Said your prayers, vicar?

Is your blokes can bowl a bit.

It's only a friendly, Michael.

I don't think we'll be needingto call upon the arbitrary

powers of the good Lord.

A nice, solid platform in thebeginning if you can manage it.

No heroics, aye?

Wait up, vicar-- you forgot your helmet.

Helmet?

[laughter]

Good luck, chaps.

[clapping]

Morning, vicar.

Morning.

[bird tweeting]

All right.

Well, what action are you?

Right arm over the wicket.

Right arm over the wicket.

Rob-O. Boots.

Stead right. Drop back.

Drop back.

Roll and drop back.

There that.

Line and length.

All right, skipper.

Bloody hell.

Ganja mess up your vision?

Nah, man.

Not mess up long time.

I can only count ten on them.

Reckon they got hungry andate the other one last night.

[laughter]

[cheering]

[applause]

Jesus, are the trousers white?

Well, we bloody keep saying them if he's

going to stay out there.

Come on, Will!

Triple the ball, triple the ball!

Don't walk on the pitch, gentlemen.

Gentlemen--

Let's go!

Let's go!

[cheering]

[laughter]

Oh, God.

Bugger.

Woo!

Get him.

[laughter]

Bad luck, John.

Bastard.

[laughter]

Here we go.

Who else?

Give him the best, boy.

Play on, PC.

Is y'all forgetting the sun tan?

Bad luck.

Bollocks.

If that's how they play, no wonder

they win all the bloody time.

19 to 1 is not a bad start.

Not bad at all.

[cheering]

[applause]

[inaudible].

Looks like he's trying to rub his balls off.

Sandra probably did that for him last night.

Catch it, catch it, catch it!

Catch it!

[cheering]

Yay!

Someone better start pouring Derek a drink.

Prat.

Good work, darling.

Another captain's inning from you, Derek?

Not again.

I did hear that they were better

bowling-side than batting.

You heard what?

And you want some here,and you let them get pissed

and run amok in our village?

I don't think there's anyneed for that sort of talk,

especially in front of the ladies.

I quite agree.

And if you don't mind mysaying, people in glass houses

shouldn't throw stones.

Dad, dad, come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Bar!

Over!

[laughter]

Look, they're coming off.

[applause]

Brilliant team performance.

Yes.

Your three runs were a great help.

Spread wrong.

Do you want a tea break or something?

Well, I think we'll have a--

Clear the round.

Spread around, Snidington.

[music playing]

Star girl, man. star girl.

All right, we going straight wrong.

Now look here-- I don't want no wild ship.

Just play steady and we got thisthing under control, all right?

Are you two ready?

Yes, man.

OK, OK.

Let's go, let's go.

We rich as Finnish.

We're richer.

[laughter]

[applause]

Go on, Boots!

Go on!

Mess is up!

Tell them about the Brixton posse!

Back up!

Back up, son.

Boy, I didn't know Will could run so.

No, man.

He just pleased to take a nextrun over that skinny bastard.

If we keep this up, we'llbe through in 40 minutes.

[laughter]

Nice.

You see that?

Yeah!

[cheering]

Do what you can, aye?

You're our last hope.

[applause]

They're not bad, you know?

You only made four?

And the way you were standing, I was sure you

were going to be stomped.

So I'm not Soybers.

Don't worry, man.

Nobody ain't seriously vexed with you.

I know that, man.

But like Willie Boy, I can't stand the idea

of losing to these people.

[cheering]

But try and get outside the old stack.

Yeah.

Oh, for Christ's sake-- whatis the matter with this team?

We have to play with stuck up twats like you.

That's what the matter.

Hard luck, pal.

Sorry.

What did you say?

OK, any argument and you'llhave to leave the field

and sort it out.

This bloody useless loutcan't talk to me like that.

I'm sorry, Derek, but hehas to be taught a lesson.

Not by a fucking poof like you.

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin-- it's not worth it.

WILLIE BOY: Hey, it look likea commotion of some kind.

Tribal war.

Come on, Snidy.

[shouting]

Oh, for Christ's sake.

Oh, for Christ's sake, what?

Well, they can walk, you know?

But they'll always cheat.

Who are you calling a fucking cheat?

Please, please.

Let's just get on with the game.

Would you rather acheating bastard or I go?

It was plum LBW.

Oh, come on here. It's a game.

That's all.

Seem like pressure reached.

But did the umpire give himnot out, then he's not out.

How do they expect a big man like him to walk?

Bastard.

Out of side!

I don't bloody believe it.

Are they playing you?

Is this when your missus triesto be nice to the darkies?

Well? Is it?

The rules of the game say that I determine

whether or not the batters out.

In this case, he's not out.

Bloody hell.

Are you going to play the game or what?

Come on here.

He's not out!

Right. That's it.

Hold hard, Ian.

I'm on my way as well.

Come along, lads.

But don't you--

Look here, you can't do that.

Well, if it's all right,we'll just carry on.

Uh, vicar, maybe could come round a bit.

Have Kevin bowl.

And the rest of us justspread out as best we can.

You mean to say these fellas going to carry

on with just five players?

What's wrong with you lot?

Ah, it's your boyfriend.

Won't they let you play?

Piss off!

Charming bunch of pigs, aren't they?

[engine]

Bastard.

Ow.

Fuck.

Oh God, oh God.

You think we should give hima chance, stretch it out a bit?

Do what?

Make a game of it.

You know the thing I alwaysnotice about you is that you

always shape tough for the white man,

but you really don't know howto deal with them, do you?

I'm just talking about making a game of it.

You make me laugh.

Sorry.

I lost it.

It's OK.

I bought an extra one in the boot.

I told Viv to go on and get it.

It's all right.

Here it is.

Here it is.

OK, great.

Whoa.

Nice one, Captain!

[applause]

Nice, nice, nice.

I feel desperate for Derek.

WILLIE BOY: How much more do we need?

Just three more.

STUART: Boy, it'll be the fastest since we

started keeping a book.

You better add four more to the score.

[applause]

You gonna say anything to him?

No.

He's busy.

Lie to him.

So you save your best formfor the end of the season?

I couldn't think of no better time.

We can go?

Do we win a trophy or something?

Well done, skipper.

Ah, could we all possibly gather around?

Marjorie would like to say afew words of congratulation.

I believe we go.

What now?

It's all interesting, all I can say, right?

[applause]

Ladies and gentlemen of Snidington Cricket Club,

guests, spectators-- I'd firstly like

to thank all the menconcerned for a thrilling

game of cricket.

In the end, it mattered little who won.

We were all entertained.

[applause]

Thank you so much forthe splendid contribution

you've made.

[applause]

Maybe next year, we'll cometo you with a full contingent.

Understand, we gonna make the bet.

Everybody here?

Yeah, looks like it.

I mean, the least you thinkthese people could have done

was to offer you a drink inthe pavilion or something.

These people havedifficulties of their own.

You don't think we have ours?

Come on, come on.

There we go.

[engine]

Stop worrying.

You did all you possibly couldshort of actually playing.

You think I shouldhave volunteered to play?

[laughter]

Darling, come on.

[music playing]

MUSIC: Somewhere in, in the night,

there's a light that shinesthat only you can see.

There go bright enough to blind.

Your love in modern times, it always shows.

They steal that passion fromkids on the eyes of love,

the night up in the sky.

No on can fear the reason why.

They do not now be as one.

It's true that some say, somesay, that's here together.

And whether it's true that some say,

that's better together than never.

It's true that some say that'sbetter together than never.

It's true that some say--