All language subtitles for Lost in Space S03E21 1080p BluRay x264-YELLOWBiRD (1).eng.

[ Robot, imitating Town
Crier] 10:00 and all is well.

10:00 and all is well.

Evening, Major West.
10:00 and all is well, sir.

One minute past
10:00 and all is well.

One minute past
10:00 and all is well.

Halt! Who goes there?
Answer! Who goes?

Where are you? Speak!

Where are you?
Who are you?

What are you?
I see you there.

[ Electronic Screeching]

[Crackling]

Oh, no. Not now.

What a time for
the power to go out.

[Sighs]

Even the reserve circuit.
I wonder if the robot...

[ Electronic Screeching]

[Voice 1, Whispering]
That one?

[Voice 2 ]
No, not that one.

That one?

No, not that one.

[ Switch Clicks]
[Penny] Don, is that you?

What happened
to the lights?

Don?

I thought I heard voices,
but it's so dark.

Oh, well. Don will get the
lights fixed in the morning.

Go back to sleep.

Is that one
a possibility?

Yes, that one is
a definite possibility.

Good morning.

Don! What happened to you?

I, uh...

I bumped my head
in a fall last night.

You what?

Well, you know,
the power went out,

and I guess I tripped
in the dark.

When I came upstairs
this morning,

there was our, ahem, brave
leader lying flat on the floor.

I didn't hear any
alarms or anything,

what do you
suppose happened?

Search me. But nothing
crossed our radar net,

must have just been a cosmic
electrical disturbance.

Hmm. The robot short-circuited
at the same time

but he's all right now.

[Will]
Don! I got it working!

[Hissing] If you can give me
a hand we can get it going,

there's some rain
clouds up there.

The rainmakers.

Why don't you put on some
feathers and do a little dance?

This is nothing
to kid about.

The drought's
getting worse.

Water, water everywhere
and not a drop to drink.

Look, you two. If you have
nothing better to do,

why don't you check
out the radar site?

All right.

[ Popping ]

Will you stop
that fearful din?

Why can't you shoot at those
moon clouds at night?

Tampering with
the weather, indeed.

Never have I seen such a
ridiculous childish experiment.

Suppose you hit
something up there,

a lonely high-flying bird or a
poor innocent traveler in space.

Hold it, Will!

[Lightning Crackles,
Thunder] Look out!

I knew it, the whole
sky is falling!

[Robot Coughs]

You all right?

What happened?

I don't know.

It got so dark.

[ Lightning,
Thunder Continue]

[ Man ] Are you the only
life forms on this planet?

Because if you are,
you simply won't do at all.

I've heard that voice
before some place.

So have I.

You what?
What's that you say?

Farnum.
You're Mr. Farnum.

The great Farnum B,
showman of the cosmos.

[Chortles ] Oh,
what a delightful surprise.

Oh, Judy, the fair Judy,
and Penny, my child.

How are you? Oh, imagine finding
you two on this planet!

Well, it's
a small universe.

Yes, isn't it?

[ Beeping 1
[Gasps]

Be careful of that thing,
blockhead.

Oh, put it down.
You have work to do.

It's a girl.

And a humanoid.

Humanoid? No, don't be ridiculous.
She's nothing but my agent.

Hi, kids.
I'm Nancy Pi Squared.

How do you do,
Miss Squared?

Yes, and you'll be cubed if you
don't hustle us up some talent.

Our backer said to
investigate this planet,

so, go investigate.

Go, go! go!

Your backer?
Mmm.

I wonder what he expects us to
find on this planet, Mr. Farnum.

You know, the message
was so urgent last night.

There must be some, oh, very
special type creature here.

Don't you think so?

Oh, of course!

Mmm, hundreds of them.

Go bring them in. Sign them up.
Sign them all up!

Well, get me
contestants, stupid.

I can't very well put on a show
without contestants now can I?

Hmm? Go on, go.

Show? Contestants?

Yes.

The most colossally stupendous
show in all outer space.

Oh, my dears,

at last your old friend,
Farnum B. has struck it rich.

Hit the big time.

Landed in the main tent
in the center spotlight.

[Chortles]

Speaking of light, what did
you do to all of ours?

Oh.

Dreadfully sorry.

[Chirping, Beeps]

How'd you do that?
[Chuckles]

Merely a clever little device
provided by my backer,

in the event that
any of our contestants

should prove to
be light-sensitive.

Oh, I would love to stay
and chat with you girls,

but, as you know,
the show must go on!

But Mr. Farnum, what kind of show?
You never told us.

Well, I'll have you know
that I, the great Farnum B,

once proprietor
of a lowly zoo,

am now master impresario
of all feminine pulchritude.

Producer of the one and only beauty
pageant in all these heavens!

A beauty pageant?

Yes, to select the most beautiful
female life-form there is,

Miss Galaxy!

Isn't that exciting?

[ Both ] Yes!

What a pity neither
one of you qualifies.

Oh, well.

Come on, Dr. Smith, this is the
way Judy and Penny said he went.

Good riddance to him,
I must say.

Really, William.
I have no interest at all

in visiting
a fraud like Farnum.

Never trust anyone in show
business, that is my rule.

He has obviously come here to
borrow from us or to steal.

[Yelps]

[Will ] What's that?
Good heavens.

That, my boy,
is Miss Outer Teutoniam.

Isn't she charming?

Mr. Farnum.

Will, Will!

Oh, you young rascal, you.

[Chortles] It's good
to see you, boy.

Here, have an
ice cream cone.

Thanks.

Well, Mr. Farnum,
I see you're back.

And you, sir. I suppose you've
come to borrow my champagne,

and steal my caviar.

[Gasps]

Well, sir, neither a
borrower nor a stealer be.

How some ever...

[Swishes]
Domestic.

Well, that's the best I could
do on such short notice.

Mr. Farnum,
what an unusual looking lady.

Friend of yours?

Mmm...

Business acquaintance,
you might say.

I see.

To what, may I ask,

do we owe the rather
dubious pleasure

of your reappearance
here among us?

Come along with me.

Come along.
[Chuckles]

Ta-da!

There, Dr. Smith, does
that answer your question?

Yes, it does.

Boy, running a beauty pageant
must be good business.

The secret of being a
great showman, like me,

is in having a backer who has
scads and scads of money.

Oh, I quite agree.

Well,
who is your backer?

I mean, who's paying
for all this?

Why, a lover of beauty,
of course.

Tell me,
have you noticed that

new dark planet that's
been floating around,

that strange, shadowy one?

As a matter of fact, my Dad's
kind of worried about it.

And so am I.

[Chuckles]

Everyone is.

They don't even know
who lives up there.

But they are obviously the
most powerful creatures

in all the heavens.

Well, let me tell
you that my backer,

my sponsor, you might say,

is none other than the supreme
and deadly dictator,

of that entire world.

And he's quite rich,
you said?

Mmm.

What's he like?
What is he?

Who knows? My agent got me
this job by radio.

[Chuckles]
Come along.

I'd like you to meet our
lovely semi-finalists.

This is Miss Moon Floss
and Miss Inner Platminium.

How do you do?

Oh! Miss K-14.

She has many unusual qualities,
as you can plainly see.

Yes. How do you do, my dear?
No, thank you. Thank you.

[Chuckles]

[Nancy] Oh, boss?
Mr. Farnum?

I've got
a possibility here.

One? Only one?

What's the matter
with you?

There's not very much
growing on this planet.

Careful. She's very shy.

Oh. Oh!

You've got her
photograph already.

And she's signed
the contract too.

[Chortles]

Welcome.
Welcome, my child.

Now, if you'll all
excuse me a moment...

lam Dr. Zachary Smith.

I'm Nancy Pi Squared.

How do you do?
And this is?

Miss Fishtail.

Miss Fishtail. You look
charming, my dear.

I hope that
you will win.

[Chuckling, Muttering]

Mr. Farnum, wait.
I don't get it, sir.

What's the matter?

Don't you think that any of
the contestants out there

are beautiful enough
to be Miss Galaxy?

No. I mean, I don't
wanna seem rude, but...

[Chuckles]

Beauty, my boy,
is in the eye of the beholder.

Now, if you were a, a fish,

would you think that a lady
grizzly bear was beautiful?

Of course not.
ls he a fish?

Oh, I told you.

I haven't the slightest
idea what his highness is.

He could be any
conceivable life-form.

And I haven't
the slightest idea

what he'll think
is beautiful either.

I don't even think that
he knows what he likes.

Boy, that can make it tough.

Oh, no. Not really.

You see, his advance men
pick out a likely planet

and I sign up
the contestants.

All I have to do
is to collect

one of everything,
don't you see?

Then I'm bound to produce
a winner that he'll like.

But that could take years
and years!

Come here.
I'll show you.

See, fortunately the
female of every species

enjoys having
her picture taken.

[Chuckles]

Now, I merely put her
photograph in here,

[Clacking, Bell Ringing]

Then her contract.

You see, each eager
little contestant

must sign a contract,
naturally.

The dictator's most
insistent on that.

There. Now, watch.
Watch over here.

For every photograph I put
in that machine, I get paid.

Look! Look!
Wow!

Oh! [ Laughs ]

Squandros, my boy.
One thousand squandros.

Gold coins good anywhere
in the heavens!

Oh, did ever a producer
have such a deal,

such a sucker
for a sponsor?

[Coins Rattling]
[Chuckles] Oh!

[ Shouts, Giggles]

Now he's even accepted
her as a semi-finalist.

[ Cackles ]

Oh, this is
my lucky day!

Now I can leave this planet and
move on to greener fields.

[Cackles, Gasps]

What's the matter, sir?

Come, come. I've shown
you too much already.

Run! Run, boy!

What are you doing here?
How dare you interrupt.

You have violated
our agreement.

I've signed another
contestant, haven't I?

I've come to the planet
you told me about, haven't I?

You are wasting time,
Farnum.

Get out of here!

My contract is with your
master, not with you.

I won't allow you
to intimidate me.

You sought
to leave this planet

before you had completed
your assigned mission.

You are wrong.
Ha,ha,ha!

I just signed a charming young thing.
Wait till you see her.

Such lovely
iridescent scales.

But there are
others here.

Just some secondary life-forms,
a few tiresome humanoids.

Yes, yes,
the humanoids.

Who could possibly be
interested in them?

All pink and soft
and utterly useless.

The pale-haired female
humanoid must be signed.

Judy? That's impossible.

I refuse. I'm an
independent artist.

I won't stand for
this sort of treatment.

You'll have to speak
to my agent.

I refuse to discuss
it further!

No dictator can pull me around
like a puppet on a string.

[ Electronic Screeching]
[Screams]

Help! Somebody!

Something! Help!

Ah, it's about time.
Fine agent you are.

Get those hideous
creatures out of here!

Take it easy, boss.
I'll see if I can negotiate.

Do something.
Get me down!

Just leave it to Nancy.

Okay, boys.
What's the trouble?

His time is up.

We have given him commands
from our mysterious master.

Commands?

Farnum must deliver
today or else.

Oh! They've gone.
Gloriosky, they've gone,

those presumptuous
monsters.

What did they tell you?
Deliver what?

How dare they try
to intimidate me.

The deal's off.
I'll break the contract!

You can't break
the contract.

And why not?

Well, to get you
all that money, I,

well, I had to give him
some little concession.

What little concession?

Well, I sold him your soul.

You sold him my soul?

Hmm.

Oh!

Now they want me
to sign Judy too.

I guess that's it. Or else.

Or else? Or else what?

[Screaming]

[Screaming Continues]

All right, your highness. Anything you
say, anything at all, I'll do it.

I'll do it,
only please let me down.

Stop the fire.
Put it out, please.

[Whimpering]

Oh. [Panting]

Oh. [Grunts, Sighs]

[Gasps, Shudders]

Well, here it is boss.
Clause 15.

Here. Help me up.

[Grunting]

What are you
babbling about?

Where it says
you sold your soul.

This is your contract, boss,
with his mysterious highness.

Oh, who bothers to
read contracts anyway?

Besides,
his emissaries now tell me

he wants Judy as
a contestant too.

And you told me that his
highness didn't like humanoids.

Well, I guess I was wrong.
That's all.

You see, I put my
picture in the machine

and it rejected it, so,

I guess it's just
me they don't think

is pretty enough
to be a contestant.

I quite agree.

Here, what else
does this thing say?

And why Judy? Do they
want her soul too?

[Warbling ]

But of course.

Mine not to question why,

mine but to cheat and lie.

[Warbling ]
[Gasps]

I hear you, dark master.

My soul is yours.

Who cares about
Judy Robinson anyhow?

I'll sign her up myself!

I hear and I obey.

[ Cackles ]

But what if I don't want
to be in a beauty pageant?

But you have to be!

I mean, every girl would like to be
Miss Galaxy, wouldn't she'? Hmm?

Course she would.

And all you have to do is sign your
name there on the dotted line.

But this morning you said
she wasn't even qualified.

I did?

Well, now my mind's
been changed.

I was blind, stupid.
And just think of it,

the idol of the heavens,
your name in lights.

Judy Robinson!
Judy Robinson!

Just sign right here.

Oh, what does this
silly paper say, anyway?

Oh, never mind about that.
You can read it later.

Sign now, read later.

I don't know how I could.

The print's so small.

Ten million squandros.

That's what
the winner will receive.

Ten million squandros. That's all
you need to know, sign right here.

I'm sorry, Mr. Farnum,
but my answer is still no.

Oh, Judy. Please.

Pretty please.

It's just not my style.

I don't want to be in
anybody's beauty pageant.

And that's all
there is to it.

Come on, Penny.
Let's fix lunch.

[Grumbles,
Stomps Feet]

What's going on here,
may I ask?

Have you nothing better to
do than to waste your time

in idle stargazing?

No, sir. That's the planet where Mr.
Farnum's backer,

the mysterious
dictator, lives.

Now I figure that if we
can get enough data on it

from the spectrum telescope,

then maybe the robot
can figure out

what life form
could exist there.

Then that will tell us what
he is and once we know that...

I have no interest
in alien life forms,

be they here, there,
or wheresoever.

Dr. Smith, don't you see? That'll
tell us what he thinks is beautiful,

and then we'll know what life
form will win the contest.

William, I am
deeply shocked

that you would
aid and abet

that dreadful Farnum
in his fraudulent schemes.

Well, why not?
Do you think for a moment,

he would share his ill-gotten
squandros with you?

Oh, no. Not even a proper thank
you would you get for your pains.

[Sighs]

Robot,
I've got the readings.

[Smith]
I don't see a thing.

There's a methane 67 gas
layer around the planet,

and its surface is
radioactive cobalt.

It still does not compute. What
life-form could live there?

A reptile, perhaps?

What?

I loathe reptiles.

Well, excuse me
for eavesdropping,

but with a climate
such as that,

I've often wondered if the
dictator and his people,

couldn't be some form
of reptilian life.

Perhaps of
the pocket dragon type.

Sure.

And you don't have any reptile
in the contest yet, do you?

He doesn't need one,
William.

He himself satisfies
all the requirements.

[ Inhales]
Unfortunately, Will,

I just haven't been able
to catch a female one.

You mean, you know
where there are some?

Oh, yes.

As a matter of fact,
there's a pocket dragon

quite close to here.

Only I wasn't nearly
clever enough.

She almost scratched
my head off.

A quite natural reaction.
Bully for her.

Well, I'll bet
I could catch her.

Oh, how? I couldn't do it,
not even with a net.

Of course not.

But you don't have
two sisters like I have.

We'll use butter.

Butter? The boy is
bereft of his senses.

Why don't you come
and watch, Dr. Smith?

Perhaps this will
give you an idea too.

We shall see, Mr. Farnum.
We shall see.

[Will ]
There's one now.

Easy. Look out, boy.

[Will ] Wait,
it's moving towards the bait.

A mirror?
What will that prove?

Took it.
lt proves she's a girl.

[Wolf Whistle]

Oh.

And she thinks
she's pretty.

So what more
could you want?

Now you see
how easy it is.

Now all you've got
to do is sign her up.

[Chuckles] Oh, my boy,
you are an absolute genius.

Genius, indeed.

[ Dragon ] Oh.

Oh.

I don't think
we've gained very much.

Oh, just wait and see,
Dr. Smith.

Just wait and see.
Oh.

Now, my deaf.

If you'll just put your
name on this dotted line?

[ Dragon ] Oh.

There we are.

[Chuckles]

There we are.
1,000 squandros.

Half for me and
half is for you!

Thanks!

You're giving the boy
500 squandros?

Yes, of course.

He found her, didn't he?
Finders keepers.

[Coins Rattling]

She's a semi-finalist.

Oh!

Oh, good!

Oh, and again more. Half for
me, half for you, Billy.

[Laughs]
Ah, Mr. Farnum?

Will these machines
work for anyone?

Of course, of course.
There's plenty for all.

The girl's photograph
and her signed contract,

that's all that one needs.

I see.

It occurs to me,
that there must be scores

of young women running about,
eager to sign contracts.

Oh, but there's the trouble,
Dr. Smith.

There are some girls
who simply don't want

to be in beauty contests.

Like, uh, Judy, for example.

Judy doesn't?

Quite obviously, you did not
approach her in the proper fashion.

Perhaps if I were to
explain it to her...

Oh, no, no, no, no.
"Never argue with a woman,"

I always say.
[Chuckles]

But if only we
had a photograph

of someone as
beautiful as Judy,

and if only we had
her flowing signature

on a lovely contract.

[Chortles]

Would you excuse me?

There is an urgent matter

that demands my
immediate consideration.

Where are you going?

[ Cackles ]

Dr. Smith, no! You
just don't understand.

You can't enter someone in a beauty
pageant until they sign a contract.

William, just tell me where
Farnum keeps those contracts.

I don't know.
I'll go ask him.

That won't be necessary.

There's no reason for us to divide
the money with him, William.

After all, Judy belongs
to us, doesn't she?

Now where can they be?

Probably here.
Dr. Smith...

Ah, yes.
Here they are.

Shh!

[Will] "Judy...
Judy Robinson!"

Dr. Smith,
that's forgery.

Nonsense, William.

I have her involuntary power
of attorney, do I not?

Her what? No!

Dr. Smith,
wait, wait!

This is where I put
it in, I believe.

Yes. I must remember
how to work this.

Press this
and that. Good.

Now I must press
this button. Good.

William, I take full
responsibility for this.

You will thank me for it, in the long run.
You will all thank me.

Judy will thank me.
In you go.

[ Bell Rings]
Now for the contract.

This dial so and this dial so.
And in it goes...

[Bell Ringing]

Oh, lovely, William. We've hit the
jackpot, she's been accepted.

[ Shouts, Stammers]

[Horn]

[Both Coughing]

Dr. Smith, are you all right?
[Gasps]

What's wrong?
What is it?

Cheater.
What?

Liar. Thief.

No! I've done what
you told me to do.

We've signed up
Judy Robinson.

My man in there is
putting her contract...

Forger.

Forger?

Oh, boss...

Unless you obey
our master,

unless you make
Judy Robinson

enter the beauty contest
of her own free will,

you will be nothing.

Your whole planet
will be nothing.

But I don't want to
be in a beauty pageant.

How many times do I
have to tell you that?

Genuine cosmic gopheron
fur for your very own.

Oh!

Diamonds and rubies. Wouldn't
you like some jewels?

Why is it so important to you, Mr.
Farnum?

You keep out of this!

Oh, Judy.
Judy, please.

If you'll just put your own name
right here, right here, hmm?

[Grumbles]

Fiddle-faddle!

[Gasps]

Where have you been?

I have been observing
with interest.

I wanted you to see for
yourself how hopeless it was.

Oh, it's hopeless.
Hopeless!

For you, yes,
but not for me.

There will of course be no
question about the size

of my personal
commission.

Oh, no. Anything.
Anything, anything!

[Spits]

Very well, sir. Now do
stand aside and observe

as a consummate master
of his craft takes over.

Ah, good day to all,
and to all a good day.

Now then,
what have we here?

Mr. Farnum was gonna
give all this to Judy,

if she'd sign up
for his pageant.

Judy? Let me see.

Oh, no. No, dear.

It's a silly idea
and he's a silly man.

It's perfectly ridiculous.

Did you hear that, Major?

What?

Judy in a beauty contest.

She wouldn't stand
a chance. No, dear.

No need to conceal
your amusement, Major.

We could all do with
a good laugh right now.

Don, were you laughing?

No.

But it is a pretty silly idea.

What's so silly about it,

the idea of me being
in a beauty contest?

Well, I don't know, uh, the picture
of you parading around, I guess.

Uh, I don't know.
It's ridiculous.

Ridiculous?

Aw, come on, let's forget
the whole thing, huh?

It's perfectly
ridiculous, my dear.

Now, no offense meant, but
you couldn't possibly win

against all those
beautiful models.

I what?
At any rate,

since the major does not want you
to enter the contest at all,

I wouldn't dream of going
against his orders.

His orders?
Who does he think he is?

I'll show him.
Give me that pen.

Sign here, my dear.

Lovely.

Ah.

[Warbling ]

[Cackles, Chortles]

Ha, ha.

[ Nancy] All right, darling, that's
it, come slowly down the runway.

That's fine. Not quite
so much wiggle. Perfect.

Keep your head up though, dear.
Keep your head... Lovely.

Lovely. Simply lovely.

[ Cackles ]

Oh, boss.
I don't know about this.

What if Judy wins?

Do you have any idea what's
going to happen to her?

No. I don't want to know.

All I care about is delivering this
contest so I can get my soul back.

Yes, and once
I get it back

I'm going to fire my agent
and get out of here.

I've got the flags,
Mr. Farnum.

Oh, good.

Is there really one
here from every planet?

Yes, indeed.

They go behind the
pedestals over there,

come along child,
I'll help you.

[Penny]I guess there's nothing as
patriotic as a beauty pageant.

All right, Miss Fish.
You're next. Come up, dear.

That's enough, thank you.
Come straight ahead.

Now walk very slowly down the runway.
That's it.

Now keep your head up.

Miss Pi Squared?

Yes.

Might I have
a word with you?

Well, I'm quite busy.

A very important word.

I should like to
ask you, my dear,

whether you feel
there might be room

for another contestant?

Hmm?
Another type of beauty.

Just to make sure that
his highness is pleased.

I'd certainly like to find
someone else besides Judy

who could possibly
win the prize.

Precisely. Someone who might
share her prize money with us.

Some lovely girl

who might be willing to
divide her winning squandros

with you and with me.

But who?

Miss Pi Squared,

do you happen to know what form
of life this dictator really is?

No, that's the trouble. That's the
one thing I don't know about him.

Perhaps I can help you.

Now please follow carefully
my rather clever reasoning.

It's quite obvious that
he is far more advanced

than anyone in our wretched,
primitive galaxy.

Wouldn't you say?

Course he is, that's what
makes him so dangerous.

And if indeed he is,
would he still be

so childish as to think
feathers are beautiful?

Maybe not,
but what else is there?

The beauty of science,
my dear,

the glistening skin
of a polished machine.

The precision of
a computerized girl

who never talks back.

Behold.

A robot?

But he's a male robot.

Check.

Double check.

Be still, ninny.

I grant you that her voice
is a bit deep right now,

but with certain
rearrangements,

and with some
minor rerecording,

anything is possible.

And my dear Miss Pi
Squared, I must tell you

that I have noticed
and admired your sweet

dainty voice.

It does not compute.

Shall we?

It does not.
It really does not compute.

It does not compute.

Judy?

Beauty contests. Huh.

"I the undersigned applicant,
do hereby..."

Judy? Penny?

Where is everyone?

[Sighs]

Boy, I bet Don
will notice you now.

Mmm. I just hope he
isn't too mad to come

and watch when he finds out I'm here.
[ Clapping ]

All right, girls. Places now.
Places for the dress rehearsal.

Here, let me help you
with that hair, dear.

[Chattering]

Off you go!

[Chuckles]
Oh, this is exciting.

...so beautiful.

And remember to
keep your tummy in.

Everybody go.
Come on, girls.

Oh, brilliant idea.
Over there. On the pedestals.

Oh, very excited.
Miss Squared?

Shall I sing
my song now?

Well, I guess you
may as well, honey.

I was sort of waiting
for something else,

but I don't know.

All right, girls.
Up on your pedestals now.

[Smith ]
Stop. Stop at once.

Stop, I say.

Ladies and gentlemen, I should
like to present my contestant,

Miss Mechanical Marvel.

[Will] Our robot.

Dr. Smith, really?

Dr. Smith, what are you
trying to do, wreck my show?

Of all the nerve.

Get that pile of
junk out of here!

Junk, sir?

[Nancy's Voice]
Well, I never.

I beg your pardon.

A girl.
It's a girl robot.

Dr. Smith, I'm frightened. Who is
that awful man? Well, I never.

Come, come now, my clear
child, calm yourself.

He's a silly,
stupid creature.

Oh. Oh, please.

Please excuse me,
young lady.

Oh, how stupid of me.
I didn't understand.

I am not even sure
I want to stay here.

Oh, please, you must,
my dear. We need you.

The last semi-finalist,
a mechanical girl.

Oh, Zach!

Zach, indeed.

Smitty.

How dare you, sir,

address a lady like this
in this gauche manner.

Oh, I'm sorry, my dear.

Won't you please
take the second pedestal?

May I?

You may.

Oh, a thing of beauty
is a joy forever.

[Laughing]

Well, I...
[indistinct]

Oh, no.

I can't stand it.

[Laughing Continues]

Smitty, we have done it.
Bring up the curtain.

At last,
I'll have a hit!

[ Cackles]
No thanks to you.

[Chuckles]

That dirty double-crossing...

"lt is understood and agreed

"That the winner
of this contest,

"Miss Galaxy,
will travel to..."

[Engine Noise]

[Smith] Major! Major?
A starship has just landed.

Smith, did you read the fine
print in this contract?

Major, a contract is a contract.
They're all the same.

Not this one.
Read it.

Fine print? Whoever
bothers with fine print?

The fine print in
that contract reads

that the winner
of this contest

must live in
their galaxy forever.

Now come on. We're
getting out of here.

Places, everyone, places!
He's coming! He's coming!

Do you mind, please?
Thank you. Come along, Judy.

Take your place up on the pedestal.
That's a girl.

Here's your candelabra.

There you are, my dear.

[ Laughs]

Please. I'm trying
to put on a show!

Behold!

Behold! His awesome
magnificence.

The supreme and dreadful ruler of
the most powerful galaxy in space.

Behold and tremble.
The mysterious dictator.

Welcome,
your exalted magnificence.

I, Farnum B, present the
greatest show in the cosmos.

Sing, Penny, sing.

Here's to thee...

stop-

He has chosen.

At this moment,
he has chosen.

Ten thousand years we have
searched for such beauty.

[ Emissary]
Step aside, earthman.

[ Electronic Screeching]

You are the one.

It is you who will
be our Miss Galaxy.

You who will come to
live with us forever.

Behold your new master.

[Shrieks]

Fire? He's nothing but fire.

Ten thousand years we have lived
without beauty on our galaxy.

Ten thousand years
we have searched

for cool, cool
beauty as yours.

[Gasps]

Come with me.

You will be our
beauty queen forever.

No! [Gasps]

Judy!

[Shrieks]

Get away from her!
Get away!

One moment please, sir.
One moment.

What happened to her?
What have you done to her?

Well, it's quite all right,
your magnificence.

Uh, she merely fainted.

The sight of your
handsome visage

was too much
for the girl, that's all.

Your heated brow.

Those flashing eyes.

Just give her some time.

Very well.

[Flames Crackling]

Prepare her.

I shall come for her
in 10 minutes.

Ten minutes.

But beware, Farnum.

If we are not safely away
with her in 10 minutes,

you and this whole planet
will be destroyed in flames.

Major? What in the
world is happening'?

Will, let's set a course here.
Right.

[ Penny]
Here they come!

All systems
are ready, Don.

All right, Will.
You and the girls get below.

Oh, come on!

Do as I say! Get below!

Let's go.

Oh, good heavens.
They're approaching!

Saints preserve us.

His men are carrying
the prize money.

Saints preserve it.

[Electronic Whine]

[Warbling ]

[Whine Stops]

Nothing's happening.

[Normal Voice]
He is immune.

I'll double the current.

[Electronic Whine,
Warbling Resume]

[ Electronic Screeching]

That's as high as it'll go,
he's still coming.

Do something, booby!

He is immune I say!
Nothing can stop him.

Silence,
you cowardly junk!

Major, the lasers,
it's our last chance.

No,

if I shoot on him,
he'll know it's war.

That ridiculous rain contraption
of yours, it might work.

Yeah, there's a chance,

but someone's got to stall them
for a few minutes. Farnum,

you got us into this mess.
Get out there and stall him.

What, me?

Yes, of course you.

It's all your fault.

Yes.

[Chuckles]

Yes, of course
I'll handle it.

Don't worry
about a thing.

The great Farnum B. will
arrange everything for you.

No! I sold his soul.
He'll double-cross us.

Take your hands off me,
you stupid girl!

I'm coming, master!

[Yells]

All right, Smith.
Looks like it's up to you.

Me? Certainly not.

He knows I'm
not strong enough.

[Hissing]

You, sir,
my stalwart companion,

get out there and deal
with those creatures.

You heard the major,
Dr. Smith. Move.

Just you wait.

I said, move!

[Hissing Continues]

I can't do it.
I'm frightened.

What will I say?

You'll think of something,
Dr. Smith.

Of course.
I have a brilliant idea.

Just tidying up. You see, I
wasn't expecting any visitors.

Quickly, ninny,
put these on.

You shouldn't have taken them
off in the first place. Go!

And come back!

Peace, gentlemen.
I come in peace.

You have given
us a warm welcome.

Ah, yes, the force field.

Don't speak of it,
your worship.

But what is that?
What is he doing?

That? That is music.

You see, when Miss
Galaxy travels anywhere,

there must always be music.

Isn't it beautiful?

I do not know.

For 10,000 years,
we have lived

in our galaxy
without such beauty.

But now that has changed.

Now we will take
our beauty queen.

Yes, of course,
your worship.

But as an outstanding doctor

of inter-galactic
environmental psychology,

I must warn you that Judy is
subject to very high temperatures.

She runs an enormous fever
at the drop of a hat.

If you'll forgive my saying
so, what you really need

is a beauty queen who is
compatible and healthy.

And I have just
the one for you.

This lovely,
gorgeous creature.

Why, do you know
that he can withstand

heat of 400
degrees Fahrenheit?

I mean, she can.

Can't you, my dear?

[Nancy's Voice]
Yes, I can.

Come on, baby.
Give us some rain.

And she's already packed
and eager to go.

Aren't you, my dear?

Yes, I am.

Stop! Enough!

Miss Galaxy,
where are you?

It's not working.

[Warbling ]

Summon her.

[Warbling ]

[Warbling Continues]

[ Stops ]

[Hissing, Popping 1

We will go now.

[Hissing, Popping Continue]

Come. Take my hand.

[ Cackling ]

[Gasps]

Judy.

My soul.

Oh. stars and garters!

I've got my soul back!

[Whimpering]

Oh, Judy. Judy, my child,
are you all right?

Stars and garters,
my foot.

Oh, what
a terrible experience.

I'm happy
that's over with.

Oh, I'm so glad you
girls have forgiven me.

I was possessed,
simply possessed!

You're all set,
Mr. Farnum.

Your spaceship's repaired
and ready for takeoff.

Oh, thank you, my boy.

Don...

I promise I will never be in another
beauty pageant as long as I live.

And do you
really promise?

Well, you know,
it was sort of fun

having you come
to my rescue like that.

[ Laughs]

I know what
you mean, Judy.

Sometimes it's just nice
to be noticed for a change.

You know, the boss has even
forgiven me for selling his soul?

What are you talking about?

I just don't want to lose
a good agent, that's all.

Besides, it's time to start
work on our next show.

Goodbye, everyone. No rest
for the wicked, you know.

[All Laughing]

Come along, girl.

[Sighs]

Well, we've got some work we
have to finish up ourselves.

Let's get to it.
Right.

[Thrusters Engaging]

Well, there goes
Mr. Farnum.

Good riddance to
that pompous popinjay.

It is devoutly to be wished
that we never see him again.

I'm surprised he didn't
stay for a curtain call.

[Nancy's Voice]
Good riddance.

[Normal Voice]
Ahem! Ahem!

Good riddance, I say.

Oh, the pain,
the pain of it all.

[ Man ] Stay tuned for some exciting
scenes from next week's show.

Next week on Lost in Space...

Looks like some
kind of radiation belt.

We're in desperate shape,
do you think we could land?

There it is again.

I don't want to have to
tell you again. Move.

[Gasps] Major!

Help me up.

[ Male Voice ] Hear then, the
story of this ancient world.

In the beginning, the planets
fought amongst themselves.

For 10,000 years, civilizations
battled with each other.

[ Man ] "The Flaming Planet" on Lost
in Space, right here on this channel.