All language subtitles for Lost in Space S03E17 1080p BluRay x264-YELLOWBiRD (1).eng.

[Snoring ]
[Distant Explosions]

What? What's the matter?

What's going on here?
Fedor! All hands on deck!

Can't I get one
minute's sleep without...

[Grunting]

Who set that
automatic pilot?

Fedor,
pipe all hands!

Where are you,
you worthless jellyfish?

You spineless
space worm. You...

Oh, there you are.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

You rang for me, sir?

What's going on down there?

It's the crew, sir.

They're talking mutiny again.

Oh, they are, are they?

I'll make 'em walk
the gangplank.

They'll dance
from the yardarm.

Captain, no! We'd never
get home without them.

Oh, but they can't get back
to Beta 3 without me either.

I'm still captain
of this spacecraft.

Besides, we're on our
way home, aren't we?

Oh, yes, Captain, but five years
in space has simply been too long.

And you never
did find the prize

like you promised
them you would.

Oh, is that so?

Now hear this, you miserable
quitters, you filthy traitors.

[ explosion ]

[Grunts]

It's the automatic pilot,
Captain.

I believe he feels he can
run the ship without you.

Oh, is that so?

We'll see.

[ explosion ]

Captain, Captain, you
shouldn't have clone that.

The crew will be
very angry.

Here they come.

Quick, Captain,
your cutlass.

That won't do any good.

I can't reduce
them to tape.

That only works
on humans.

Oh, but there's
the electronic spear.

I'll show them. Back! Back,
you cowardly machines!

Back!Back, you mechanical
monsters, back!

Back! Back,
I tell you! Back!

Ahh!

There. Oh.

What happened?
They've gone.

I don't know. They just
suddenly backed up.

Ooh, if I only had a human crew.
[Ringing]

Listen.
It's a bell ringing.

The telescope,
it's ringing.

Five years of searching
for this thing.

Five years of pointing it at human
beings down there on Earth.

Five years
and it never rang once.

[Fedor] That planet we're passing
is uninhabited, isn't it'?

There are no Earth
people down there.

Particularly the one special
person we've been looking for.

Fire all retros!
Full speed astern!

Captain,
you can't stop now.

You promised
the crew you'd go home.

You promised to give
up this insane search.

Oh, quiet, chicken liver.
I'll never give up.

Man the space launch.
Full speed astern.

Muster a shore party. Hop lively, mates.
The prize is ours!

[Laughing]

Penny?

[Whistles]
Wake up.

Oh. I'm sorry, Dad.

Must be quite an interesting
book you've got there.

Oh, it's just one of my old
children's books, I guess.

Oh, fairy tales, huh?

Honey, I want you and Will
to run down to the spring.

Tell Dr. Smith
and the Robot

that they can stop counting insects
for the rest of the afternoon.

Okay, Dad.

And while your mother and I are
out taking star sightings,

I want everyone to stay
close to the ship, okay?

Have fun, Morn.
Okay.

Thank you.

Imagine going to look at
stars with your own husband.

Yes, imagine.
[Chuckles]

Will?
Hmm?

Did you ever dream you
were really somebody else?

What?

That maybe your
own mother and father

weren't your real
mother and father?

Sure. I'm the president of
the United States, you know.

Come on. I'll race you to that
rock, and I'll just use one foot.

No. Like in some
of these stories.

Because, well, last night
I had the funniest dream

about the most
beautiful palace.

Girls.

Trouble with boys is you
don't have any imagination.

I don't see there's anything
wrong with a palace,

as long as you know
you're pretending.

"If the shoe fits..."

[ Man ]
Well, try on the shoes.

AH right, hop aboard the
carpet, lively now.

Do you want to be
a princess or don't you?

[Screams]

Penny!

Careful with that cargo,
you miserable misfits!

Now, easy alongside.

Easy does it. That's a
human being in there.

There. That's it.

Now, secure the rockets.
Batten the air locks.

[Laughs]
Outta my way!

They've just brought
back our prize.

[ Laughs]

[Both Grunting]

Put it right
down here.

Captain, hadn't you better take
it somewhere else for unwrapping?

Good thinking.

Now, don't you worry,
my dear. You're safe.

I'm not gonna harm you. Don't
worry about it now. [Grunts]

Princess?

How did you get in there?
Who are you?

Well, I don't know.

Oh, dear, what are
we gonna do now?

If the crew sees you
only caught a boy...

Shut up! This is
your fault, Fedor.

Hey, wait a minute.

I should have gone
on that shore party myself

instead of just
sending my voice.

Captain, please,
not so loud.

I've listened to your chicken
advice for the last time.

Now cut that out. It's
not his fault I'm a boy.

And besides, if you are a captain,
that's sure no way to act.

Well, now,
you hear that, Fedor?

At least we got ourselves
a human being from Earth.

You are, aren't you,
my brave little laddie?

Uh, yeah.
I guess so.

Well, don't be
afraid of me.

Only cowards like
him are afraid of me.

Come here.

Now, you see, we're
from the planet Beta.

And for a very long time,
we've been looking,

everybody's been looking,

for our princess,
Princess Alpha.

Well, is she lost
or something?

There was trouble. A threatened
revolution by the machines.

But a nurse escaped with the baby
princess to hide her on Earth.

All right.
That's enough.

Yes, sir.

She switched babies
in a hospital maybe.

Nobody Knows for sure, but somewhere
our princess is still alive.

You know, that's just like the
dream that my sister had.

Ha!
Quiet. Your what?

[Stammers]
Well, this person I know

had a dream.

Didn't think I'd be in it.
[Chuckles]

A person, huh?
Now tell me the truth, laddie.

Are there any more human
beings down on that planet?

Well, I... I might have bumped
into one or two here and there.

Male or female?

Uh, well,
I don't notice girls.

Uh, no, no, no,
no girls. No.

Well, in particular,
one who'd be maybe...

About 13 years old.

All right, I know.

Maybe 13 years old
by now.

Uh, no. No one in
particular like that.

Yeah, we'll find out if
you're telling the truth.

Here, come with me.

But, sir,
I'm telling the truth.

All right,
just be quiet.

But, um, sir...

What are you waiting for?
Open the door.

Oh, yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Oh, the things I have to...
I tell you.

Out of my way,
pip-squeak!

Here, laddie, go on.

Come along, laddie.

Now, about that
13-year-old girl.

I didn't mention
any 13-year-old girl.

There's no one like
that on our planet.

Yeah, well,
we'll soon find out.

[Klaxon Blares]

Lie to me, would you? You
worthless little whelp!

Captain, no.
Don't do that to him.

Of course I won't. Not yet. Keep
him here as a hostage, Fedor.

Let him clean up
after the crew.

I'm going ashore myself.

If there's one word about
mutiny while I'm gone,

I'll hang you all
from the yardarm.

And that's the word
of Captain Kraspo.

Wow.

Our captain's been at sea
too long, I'm afraid.

What was he talking about?
I don't see any crew.

Shh.

You mean these?

But these are nothing
but regular old computers.

Ow!

Just a little shock,
that's all.

There are some
people on Beta

who say the computers
are getting out of hand.

But I'm not one of
them, of course.

He's a little messy
at times.

Oh, dear. She wants a
glass of oil,I guess.

[Both Coughing]
We better hurry.

Well, where are they?

But it's true,
I tell you.

I saw the slippers
right there.

Yes, indeed.
A mirage, perhaps.

And then the red carpet unfolded
right in front of them.

But when I looked back,
it was gone.

Penny, my dear,
a charming fantasy.

Not at all uncommon
in a girl your age.

Well, if you don't
believe me, where's Will?

I can't find him anyplace.

Probably back
at the Jupiter 2,

where we should
all be right now

having something
lovely to eat.

And a nice little nap.

Ah, what have we here?

Oh, that's my book.
I guess I left it.

Ah, yes.
I see it all now.

Fairy tales.

Full of castles
and kings and pirates.

[Hissing]

What was that?

I don't know.
Penny, come along.

Robot, why doesn't
he believe me?

I compute that you are
telling the truth, Penny.

Thanks.

[Screams]

Howdy, mate.

Did you...
Did you address me, sir?

I was just cruising by, and I
seem to have lost my bearings.

Lost your bearings. Lost
your bearings. Yes.

Who are you?
Are you a pirate?

Oh, now,
if that don't beat all.

Here I come looking for
some friendly information

about the natives
of these parts...

Well, actually, my dear sir, I know
very little about this territory.

So, if you'll excuse me...

[Telescope Whirring]

Somewhere around here.

Somewhere close.

Ah, this way!

It's a mistake.
Fedor was right.

The whole thing
is a mistake.

All those years
of searching,

and this blasted
thing doesn't even work.

[ Sobbing ]
Oh, please don't cry.

I'm sure
it'll be all right.

Excuse me, sir.
What's the matter?

[Telescope Whirring]

Oh, Your Majesty.

[Screams]

Help me!
Help me!

Dr. Smith.

William.
Where are we?

I demand
an explanation, sir.

Where are we and
where is Penny?

I sent her up here ahead of us.
Don't worry. She's safe.

But where are we? Answer
me at once, do you hear?

I'll explain,
Dr. Smith.

[ Kraspo]
Oh, no, you won't.

You'll stay here and do your chores.
Keep the crew pacified.

No. Dr. Smith,
please help me.

Well, don't just lie
there, you cowardly clump.

Help us!

I immobilized him.

You doddering dunderhead,
just when I needed you most.

My dear sir, I promise you
we did not mean to offend.

I'm sure this is all
just a misunderstanding.

Yeah, well, I'm sure I have no
time to waste on the likes of you.

[Screams]
Get away from me!

Wait.
Don't kill him!

Oh, let go of me,
laddie.

I... l wouldn’t
go down there, lad.

But what's happening?
What's he gonna do to him?

I can't bear to tell you. He's a
terrible man. A terrible man.

[Laughing]

Now where's Dr. Smith?

Well, I figured the princess would
prefer a little quiet around here.

[ Laughs]

Dr. Smith?

Where's Dr. Smith?
What have you done to him?

Now, now, I only reduced
him to tape, that's all.

You what?

There we are.

That's him.

That's Dr. Smith?

I don't believe you.

You don't
believe me, huh?

Well, you'd better be sure you don't
sweep him out with the trash.

[ Laughing ]
Captain Kraspo!

Here, boy, what's
the matter with you?

He said
this was Dr. Smith.

Oh, that stupid brute.

But it just looks
like a piece of tape

from a ticker machine
or a computer or something.

Well, someday we'll
get back at that tyrant.

You mean it's true?

Of course.
The people on Beta figured out

how to do that
a long time ago,

to reduce a person to tape.

It's much handier
for travel and so on.

You simply transmit the tape,

and then reconstruct the
person at the other end.

You mean we can put him
back together again?

Come on!
Do it! Hurry!

Oh, no, boy.
I wouldn't dare.

Captain Kraspo would slice us
both up with a real cutlass.

[ Kraspo] Fedor, up to the
bridge, on the double!

Now, wait a minute. You
don't like him, do you?

Now, you've got to
help me save Penny

because she's no more
a princess than I am.

She's not?

No.

Well, of course
I'll help you then.

But...
Hurry up, chicken liver!

But not now, boy.
Not now.

No, will you
please wait?

Now, now, be careful
Dr. Smith doesn't get torn.

I'm sorry, Dr. Smith. I'll try
not to wrinkle you again.

Just because I dreamed I was a
princess doesn't mean that I...

Never mind. You were born
in a hospital, weren't you?

Well, you don't
need to shout at me.

Yes, I guess I was
born in a hospital.

And you're the right age,
aren't you?

And my telescope tinkled,
didn't it?

Captain Kraspo,
if you can't be more polite,

I'm not going to answer
any more of your questions.

Oh, there.
Isn't she beautiful?

Did you ever in your life
see anybody

who acted more like a lady,
like a princess?

Well, sir, I, uh...

Smile, Fedor. Say yes.
You're on cosmic camera.

You mean somebody's
watching us on Beta?

Of course, you idiot.
I wanted the royal palace

to see and hear the good news.
[Laughs]

Oh, uh,
you'll have to excuse

an old sea captain's
bad manners, ma'am,

but, uh, won't you sit down?
Please sit down.

No, thank you. I wouldn't
like to sit down.

Uh, I... l think you'll find
the sofa most comfortable.

All right.

I wish you'd explain.

Of course.
Of course.

Just a moment, miss.

If this girl is
really from Beta,

then she should
remember her babyhood.

Perhaps you should
ask her a few questions.

Shh.

What's the matter, dear?
Isn't that soft enough?

It's just a little bumpy,
that's all.

Uh, I... I didn't
hear what you said.

It's just a little bumpy.
Oh, a little bumpy, is it?

There, that's better.

A pea. There was nothing under
that cushion but a pea, Fedor.

Oh, good heavens.

[Bell Rings]

The telephone, the
radio, answer it, Fedor.

Yes, sir.

This is all
so exasperating.

[Bell Continues Ringing]

What is going on?

Uh, not a thing, my dear.
Not a thing.

Captain, I am not a princess.
lam Penny Robinson.

Now, now, take it easy.

Every girl wants to be a
princess, doesn't she?

Not really.
I mean, I don't know.

What about my own
mother and father?

Oh, of course. You haven't had a
chance to think about it yet.

But Beta is
a beautiful planet.

All it needs is a princess on the
throne to make it like heaven.

You mean,
they need a queen?

There's nobody left in the royal
family but an old dowager aunt,

and she just hasn't
got the power anymore.

Power?

To make
the royal scepter work,

to protect the people, to
keep down the evil machines.

Captain, it was her,
the royal aunt.

She was watching.
She spoke to me.

Why didn't you call me,
you blasted...

It wasn't necessary, sir.

She wants to inspect the
girl herself, in person.

What?
She's coming here.

She's going to be transmitted by radio.
She'll be here in four hours.

And she's bringing the royal
scepter, just in case.

You mean,
she's coming to see me?

Don't ask
foolish questions.

We've got work to do.
Come, my dear.

[Machine Whirring]

Be careful.
You're crumpling him.

Now, you stay
out of this, laddie.

I need Dr. Smith
worse than you do.

The princess needs him. She'll
need him when she's queen.

The queen has the power to
appoint the royal chancellor

or even a prime minister.

What are you talking about?

Here he comes.

[Screams]

Dr. Smith,
are you all right?

William, where am I?
What happened to me?

I'll explain later,
Your Excellency.

"Excellency"? Ayh, yes,
of course, excellency.

It appears to me
that I did hear

that there was a vacancy
in the prime ministry.

Dr. Smith,
don't listen to him.

You've got to save us.
You've got to save Penny.

Please, William,
not now. Not now!

This way, sir, please.

But, Dr. Smith!

[Sighs]

Won't anybody help?

Judy, did you see them?
They weren't over there.

I've been calling
and calling.

Did you radio dad
to come back?

[ Footsteps ] Listen.
There's someone in there.

Oh, it's you, Smith.
Where did the kids go?

I can't even
find the Robot.

Yes, yes, of course.

Would you excuse me?
I'm in rather a hurry.

Wait a minute.
What's this?

Dr. Smith.

What are you doing
with this picture?

[Don ] It belongs on
Maureen's bureau.

Well, of course it does. It's
Penny at the age of six weeks.

The old aunt will
be most interested.

What are you
talking about?

And Penny's baby hair
and mother's old diary.

Give these things back! The people on
Beta are much smarter than we are.

Don't you understand? Penny's
memory will be tested.

Smith, you're out
of your mind again.

You'd better
start explaining...

[Judy Screams]
Don!

I thought you'd need
some help, matey.

It's all right, Judy.
Not to worry.

I'm sorry, miss. He'll only be
unconscious three or four hours.

That's all the time
we'll need.

Now, tell me quick. Are
you a good hairdresser?

What? Who are you?
Dr. Smith!

Judy, please, we all
want to be saved, don't we?

Wouldn't you like
to be a countess?

What are you saying? Don!

Here, now. Keep quiet and
I won't hurt anybody.

Take her down to the longboat.
Go on. Hurry up!

Easy there, matey.

Ah.

There you are.

Now, come along
with me, matey.

[ Laughs]

This is Major West?

Are you sure?
Positive.

And I have your
sister here someplace.

Well, find her!

I'm trying.
I'm trying.

Hurry.
Steady, Penny. Steady.

You had it in your hand coming
back in the longboat, sir.

But I haven't got it now.
Oh, here we are.

I knew
I had her someplace.

They're really in no
danger, Penny dear.

I've been
through it myself.

Dr. Smith, what's the matter with you?
You're helping him.

We have no choice, Penny.
What else can we do?

It's the only way
we can all be safe.

Now, there are three and a half
hours left to get you ready.

You'd better
make up your mind.

Do you want to be
a princess or don't you?

I don't know!

Well, you'd better decide.

And fast.

No! No, wait!

What did you have
in mind, my dear?

Please, please,
I'll do anything you say.

Only please
don't burn them.

There, there, Penny. It's quite all right.
There's no harm done.

Captain Kraspo wouldn't have
really burned them up, would you?

Well, of course not. I would have
had them returned in a jiffy.

But it's just that we have no time to
waste while you make up your mind.

You want me to pretend
I'm a princess, don't you?

You want me to fool that
poor old woman who's coming

just so you can win
your dirty old prize.

There's more to be won
than that, Penny dear.

Much more,
for all of us.

Just remember, she's
your aunt, Aunt Gamma.

Royal children
call her "Gammy."

"Gammy." Penny dear,
isn't that a lovely name?

Fedor has collected thousands
of these kind of details

that you should
be remembering

if you're
a real Beta child.

But I'm not!

I can't even remember
how to curtsy.

And in three
and a half hours,

how could I possibly
fool anyone?

If I don't, she'll probably
have us all beheaded.

Oh, good heavens, Penny.
Don't say that!

Well, then we'll all...
[ Blows] Together.

[Whimpers]
Because I won't be beaten.

I won’t give up!

Penny, in three and a half hours,
I shall make you a princess

or resign from
the prime ministry forever.

Come along, dear.
There's not a moment to lose.

I feel instinctively that this will
be my most important creation.

Very well, but be careful
of those pins, maestro,

or you will create
a sieve.

Spare me your feeble
attempts at humor, ninny.

Time is of the essence.

I have exactly three
and a half hours

to transform Penny
into a princess.

Less talk, more work,
or you will not make it.

Never fear,
Smith is here.

[ Kraspo ] Faster!

Yes, yes, faster,
booby. Faster!

And two and three
and four.

And one and two
and three and...

Oh, no, no, Penny. This is so important.
Don't you realize that?

Now, let's try it again. And for
heaven's sake, do watch carefully.

So, one and two
and three and four.

[Yells]

[Clattering]
Dr. Smith!

Get me out of here! Oh, Penny,
get me out of here this minute!

Dr. Smith!
What are you doing to me?

All right, Your Highness. Now, the
royal throne will be over there.

Over there.
Yes, the throne.

Now, when you walk
through the door,

I will give the order
for the drums to roll.

Then, you will take
a step and wait.

A step and wait.

A step and wait.
Come on, try it.

Step.
Step and wait.

Step and wait.

[ Kraspo] Faster! Put some
elbow grease into it, laddie!

One spot on that deck
and you'll get 40 lashes.

Fifty lashes!
Faster! Faster!

Oh, Penny, how can you go
along with all of this?

Shh!

And this is a picture of
your cousin, the archduke,

and his three daughters,
Iota, Kappa and Sylvia.

There. These are the...
These are them.

And...
And this one...

This...
This picture here

is a picture taken
at the summer palace

of the Baron and
Baroness Grabowski.

He's an uncle on
your mother's side,

twice removed,
and their...

[ Kraspo ]
Faster! Faster!

Yes, sir, faster, faster!

A robot's work is never done.

Diction and elocution, most
important for a princess.

Now, listen carefully
and repeat after me.

The beets in Beta boil
better on the burner.

The beets in Beta boil
better on the burner.

The beets in Beta boil
better on the burner.

The beets in Beta
boil better on...

Stop it!
Stop it!

Oh, I can't do it!
I can't! I can’t!

[Sobbing ] Oh, I'm sorry,
Captain Kraspo. I can't.

The beets in Beta boil
better on the burner.

The beets in Beta boil better on the
burner. The beets in Beta boil...

[ Beeping ] Hey, hurry up!
Something's happening!

The royal radio signal
is coming in, sir.

Oh, this is it, men.
Fall in!

[ Procession]

Oh, I'm so nervous.
I feel faint.

Ten-hut!

[Volume Increases]

Isn't there anyone
around here

who can control
those beastly machines?

I beg your pardon, ma'am.
What did you say?

I said, isn't there
anyone around here

who can control
those beastly machines?

Oh, yes, ma'am. Shut up!

Stop that music, you blasted...
[ Stops ]

Oh, pardon me, ma'am.

For shame, Captain,
for shame.

Excuse the language,
Your Majesty.

Quite suitable.

Well, help me down.

Now, which one of you is this
girl I'm supposed to inspect?

Well, I don't think she's quite
ready yet, Your Majesty.

But that's nothing
unusual for her.

Hush, William.

Your Majesty,
the captain asked me

to prepare a bill
of particulars.

The girl's credentials.

That can wait.

May I present myself,
Your Majesty?

lam Dr. Zachary Smith,
longtime friend,

protector and guardian
of the lovely child.

I'm sure you must
have heard of me.

And may I say that I have always
had an instinctive feeling

that there was some
mystery about her.

Some glorious secret
of her origin.

You may say it, Dr. Smith,
but it won't do any good.

Now, Captain,
where is she?

Uh, right this way,
Your Majesty.

I beg your pardon.

Really!

[ Dr. Smith] Oh, my.

Wow. ls that
really you, Penny?

[ Dr. Smith]
Hush, William.

Stand up, child.

You're very pretty.

She's so beautiful,
I think I'm gonna cry.

Your Majesty, may I
present this lovely child

whom I have had
the honor to know thus far

as Miss Penny Robinson.

Oh, shut up!

Get out of here, all of you!
Leave us alone!

But, Your Majesty,
it is I who have...

Out! Out! Out! Out! Yes, yes,
yes, I quite understand. I do.

Come with me, child.

Come, come.
Don't be afraid.

There, there.
That's a good child.

Sit here, my dear.

I don't think Dr. Smith meant
any harm, Your Majesty.

I suppose you'd prefer
to call me Aunt Gammy?

Aunt Gammy?

Oh, yes. That does
seem to sound familiar

in the back of my
memory somewhere.

Oh, I don't know how
I could have forgotten.

And you look exactly like all my
dear sister's children used to.

I suppose you know that, too.

No, no, I didn't.

But I'm so glad
you told me.

Hmm.

Uh.

They did show me some
pictures of the royal family.

And it did seem that some
faces were rather familiar.

For instance, do you
have a cousin named, uh...

Oh, stop that, child.

Do you Know how long I've
been searching for my niece?

All I was told was
that Princess Alpha

was hidden someplace on
Earth by a nurse years ago.

Captain Kraspo said the
nurse sent a message back.

K12B6,
or something like that.

A garbled message.
The last we ever heard.

Don't you know
how desperately

the people of Beta
need their princess?

To keep our beastly
machines under control.

I'm not afraid
of machines.

The real Princess
Alpha wouldn't be.

In her hands,
in her hands only,

the magic of the royal
scepter will work.

Magic?

Of course.

For instance, I can materialize
the scepter out of thin air.

But that's as far
as my power.

What's the matter, child?

Didn't Captain Kraspo
explain this to you?

Well, I... I just didn't
know that the people

on Beta believed
in magic. That's all.

Well, if people
don't believe in magic,

they'll turn into
machines themselves.

Now, it says
on that paper

that that awful Kraspo
has been trying to cheat.

He's been teaching
you to lie to me.

What?
Well, you see, ma'am...

No, never mind.

Anyone who would lie about a
thing as important as this

should be boiled in oil,
don't you think?

Oh, yes.
I mean, no!

Oh, this is very
important to me, ma'am.

In fact, it's important
to my whole family.

Oh, stop sniveling.

Just answer
one question, child.

Are you my niece,
or aren't you?

I'm...

I'm...

Oh, I don't know!
Oh, I hate myself!

Well, of course
you don't know.

Oh, that's just the right
answer, Alpha clear.

Alpha?

Oh, of course.

I knew it was you
the minute I saw you.

And I've never been
wrong about anything.

Your eyes are just
the right distance apart.

Captain Kraspo!

All present and accounted
for, Your Majesty.

You wish to make an
announcement, I presume.

I do. Captain Kraspo,

will you please be kind enough
to put yourself in the brig?

To what?

And you,
whoever you are.

Fedor, Your Majesty. Ship
steward, 14th class.

You are the new
acting captain here.

I am, ma'am'? You heard
her, you conniving tyrant!

Now hand me
that tape.

Why, you ungrateful ingrate.

[Fedor] Into the brig.

At once, do you hear?
To the brig with you.

Why, you
double-crossing little...

What did you put in that
letter, you blasted...

On the double!
March!

Of all the injustice.

After a whole lifetime
of faithful service.

I obey!
March!

Oh, that dreadful man.

Your Majesty, I think you
are much too merciful.

I, of course, am completely
innocent of any wrongdoing.

I'm sure.

Now, look,
Your Majesty.

If you think you're
going to do something

to my sister,
just for pretending...

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, Captain Kraspo
is being punished

for his lack of faith,
that's all.

You see, Will, I guess maybe
I'm not really your sister.

But I'll still
love you as much.

What?

Of course she will.

She'll love all of us.

And we'll never have any more
trouble from those nasty machines.

Will we,
Alpha dear?

Alpha?

What a lovely name,
Your Majesty.

I proclaim a holiday.
Long live Princess Alpha.

You, sir,
are dismissed.

Yes, Your Majesty, yes.

Oh, dreadful man.

Well, we'll have
to dispose of him.

But this is a time
for only happy thoughts.

But that wasn't
helping us any.

Let go of me, boy. I got rid
of Captain Kraspo, didn't I?

Well, yes, but now that old
lady thinks Penny's a princess.

And what's worse,
Penny thinks so herself.

Of course. And now we've got to
get ready for the coronation.

She's gonna give your
sister the scepter, boy.

The magic scepter.

Just wait and see
how I've helped.

But, Fedor!

Come closer.
Come closer.

Success is almost ours. They'll
all see, won't they, my friends?

Just before we blow
them to atoms, huh?

Because when Aunt Gamma hands that
stupid little girl the scepter,

I'll be there to grab it,
don't you worry.

And when we have the
scepter, Beta will be ours.

At last, we will
control the universe!

[Switch Clicks]

Oh, how long I've waited
for this glorious day!

Mother, you've been
making a coat for me.

My captain's coat.

Mother, how wonderful of you.
Thank you so very much.

It's very pretty.
I like it very, very much.

We'll show them,
won't we?

Captain Kraspo.
Captain Kraspo.

Oh, leave me alone.

Captain Kraspo,
you have to listen.

Now, is it possible that a ship
steward, 14th class, can be a machine?

A computer? A spy, maybe?

You're against me.
You're all against me.

And after all those years of
faithful searching and searching!

Listen. Now, I said I was
over by that computer place

and I saw Fedor go in there.

[ Kraspo] Get out! Why did
you come here to taunt me?

Did I really hurt anybody?

Did I keelhaul you at the
start like I should have?

Now, get out,
you ungrateful...

Captain Fedor!

It's locked!
He locked it!

Captain Fedor.
[Laughs]

Captain Kraspo,
you've got to listen.

Oh, if that don't beat all.
That little pip-squeak.

You're all pip-squeaks,
every last one of you.

The royal aunt.

Princess phony.

Yeah,
and all you Robinsons, too.

And you're nothing
but a dirty quitter.

But I'll never be beaten,
because I'll never give up.

I hate you.

Hey, hey, laddie!

Did I hear you say something
about computers? Machines?

Fedor is one.

Well, get me outta here.
Don't just stand there!

Yes, sir!

Oh, can't you hurry up
and get him out of there?

Here he comes. He'll
be quite comfortable.

There's really
nothing to it.

Where am I?

Nothing to worry
about, Major West.

The Robinsons' remaining daughter
will explain it all to you.

Remaining daughter?
Yes.

Judy.

We're in rather
a hurry just now.

On with
the coronation.

Coronation?

There's no reason for concern, Major.
It's all for the best.

Well, whatever's good for you must
mean trouble for everyone else.

Spare me the insults!

Now you tell me
what this is all about.

Now, that's enough,
Major West.

If you interfere
in any way...

I'll have Captain Fedor order
his computers to... To...

Well, where are they?

What happened to those nasty
computers that were here?

I... I thought it best to
keep the crew below decks

till after the coronation,
Your Majesty.

Oh, how very thoughtful.
Now, come along.

You'll see. We're all going
to live happily ever after.

Oh, I hope so.
I do hope so.

Soon. Very soon.
Be patient.

There. That one got it.

Get rne out!

There.

[Kicking Door]

Harder! Harder!
Here, use this.

What is it?
My telescope.

It started
this whole mess.

My princess finder.

It's a worthless hunk of junk.
Go on! Hit it!

[ Fanfare]

Coronation music.

Penny!
Go on! Hit it harder!

That did it!
Ah, charge!

[Computers Whirring]
Shh!

Wait for the scepter now. Wait
till I give the signal to attack.

[Sneezes]

So sorry, Your Majesty.

Are you ready for the
coronation, Your Majesty?

Quite ready, thank you.
Let us proceed.

Yes, Your Majesty.

[Sneezes]

[Grumbles]

Isn't it all exciting?

Why don't you
keep quiet?

Start the drums.

Drums.

What are we
going to do?

Don't worry.
It's all right.

As soon as this
nonsense is over,

I'll find a way to
get us out of this.

You look ravishing, my dear.
Simply ravishing.

I do hope you won't forget
your devoted friend Dr. Smith

in your hour
of triumph.

I don't think this is
such an hour of triumph.

I feel just like crying.

But I quite understand,
my dear.

I always cry at coronations.

Will you stop
this silly chatter?

In the name of
the good people of Beta,

I will now command the
royal scepter to appear.

Are you ready to receive
the symbol and instrument

of your royal power,
Your Majesty?

I guess so.

I mean, yes.

Behold!

How magnificent!

I now present thee with
this, the magic scepter.

[ Kraspo ] Stop!

Stop!

All right, Fedor. I'm onto you.
Your hour has come.

Are you all right?
Yes.

Penny.

Captain Kraspo,
how dare you!

Arrest this man.

Seize him. Hang him.

Oh, no, you don't. This is
the real cutlass this time.

And this is an atomizer. And
anybody moves, gets erased.

Why, you...
You traitorous barbarian.

And, you,
please shut up,

ma'am, Your Majesty.
[Whirring ]

Listen to that.

This man Fedor here...

Captain Kraspo, the
telescope, it was ringing.

Well, what of it?
Let go of my arm.

It wasn't pointing
at Penny.

It was pointing
at the Robot.

Well, the crazy thing
did that before.

It's no good.
Now, let go of my arm!

Wait a minute.
I've got an idea.

Attack! Up the machines!
Down the people!

[ Dr. Smith ] Oh!

[Screams]

[ Don ] Smith, you've sent
the ship out of control!

[ Don ]
Come with rne!

The scepter, wave it!

Destroy them!

No, go away!

It doesn't work!
Don, do something!

Everyone,
get in there!

[Women Screaming]

Robot, guard the door!

Affirmative.

Hurry, Major. Do something.
We're going to crash.

Hold on. I'll try
to steady her out.

Hurry!

I'm trying. I can't get the hang
of this antiquated equipment.

This must be
the automatic control here.

Oh!

You did it!

All right, Fedor.
This is it!

Attack! Attack!
Destroy!

You little punks,
I warn you!

Stand back! I warn you!

Do not come closer!
I warn you!

After him! After him!

I wonder how long the Robot
can hold off those machines.

Wait. I've got an idea.

Make it fast, Will.

Well, remember
that garbled message

the nurse sent
years ago, that K12B6?

Well, that's like the sequence
we use to program the Robot.

Now, suppose that nurse
hid the baby princess

and then reduced
her to tape.

Now, where would be the perfect
place to hide the tape?

I get it.

Now, what are those
numbers? K12...

Got it.

Warning! Warning!
Stay back!

Robot, the formula to materialize
the real princess is K12B6.

Check.
Materialize her at once.

Affirmative.

Attack him!
Attack him!

Get back! Stay back there!
Don't come near me!

I am programmed.
Stand back. Stand back.

The Robot!
Stop him!

It's all right, everyone.
The real princess is here.

Oh, my dear. My darling, it's
you, really you this time.

Aunt Gammy!

Oh!

Those nasty machines ran away
the moment they saw you.

And as for you, my clear, everyone
has a right to be wrong once.

Don't they?
Yes, ma'am.

Oh, but, here,
you'd better take this.

Thank you.

Point it at him.
Hurry!

No, no, no, please!

[Laughing]

Look. There's nothing left
of him but a computer card.

And this is all that's left
of the one named Fedor?

Yes. I've got to take it back
to them before they leave.

Aunt Gamma said he might be
reconstituted into a useful machine.

Well, it all sounds
quite incredible.

Come on. There's still
time to meet them all.

All right.
Let's go.

Aren't you gonna go see them off, Dr.
Smith?

Certainly not. Such commonplace
people, mere riffraff.

You have no idea
how delighted I am

not to be drafted
as prime minister

for their
ridiculous planet.

Ah, William, but here,

here stands
our real treasure.

If only we had a deeper
understanding of secret codes.

If only we knew more
about the glorious mysteries

that lurk inside
our illustrious friend.

Just think of it,
William.

What was a princess
could just as easily be

a gold mine.

You know, I never thought
he had it in him.

Have you?

The beets in Beta boil
better in the butter.

On the burner.
In the butter.

The beets in better
boil butter in the boiler.

Oh, never mind, ninny.

You'll never make it.

[ Man ] Stay tuned for some exciting
scenes from next week's show.

Move aside, Smith!
Let go!

I can't!
We'll all be killed!

[ Electricity Crackling]

How dare you trap me!

[ Man ] Next week,
Will and Dr. Smith

accidentally capture
an evil space time merchant.

Please don't harm him.
Please. William.

William.

You've just destroyed
an entire civilization.

Don't you feel any
remorse for that?

No. Let him go.
Take me, but let him go.

[ explosion ]

[ Man ] Next week, "The Time
Merchant" on Lost in Space,

right here on this channel.