Original subtitles

(flame sizzling)

(no audio)

(intense music)

- [Drill Sergeant] 10, 9, 8, 7, 6,

(indistinct shouting)

Five!

Four!

Three!

Two!

One! (dramatic beat booms)

- [Drill Sergeant] No-No Words.

(soft uptempo music)

- All right, team.

We got another urine analysis this Friday.

Who's admin?

- Master Bates.

- The Piss Whisperer.

- What can I say?

I wake up and I make them piss excellence.

- All right, listen up.

This is coming straight from the top, all right?

It's been decided that a few of our beloved

terms of endearment are now considered unsavory

in the current political climate.

Henceforth, you are forbidden from using dick

(roll thuds)

and its alternatives when addressing a private.

- But why?

- [Jacko] We've always called them dicks.

- It's tradition, First Sergeant.

- Tradition meet progress, drill sergeants.

- Gay.

- It's those fucking liberals, ruining everything.

- Wokeism.

Gay.

But, by gay, I mean not in a homosexual way at all.

I mean in like a lame way.

But that goes without saying.

- Regardless, cancel culture is real and dicks are out!

- (Chuckles) Dick's out.

- But First Sergeant, what if their face

actually looks like a dick?

- Mhm.

- Show me.

- Private Jones, get in here.

- [Jones] Coming.

- You're not coming anywhere.

(door claps)

- Yes, Drill Sergeant?

(music continues)

- Yeah, I see what you mean.

- Dismissed, Private.

- Hold up.

Let's use this as an opportunity

to expand our motivational lexicon

and find ulterior ways to motivate Private Jones.

- Pussy Mouth.

- Cunt Bubble.

- Chicken Vagina.

- Same category, gentlemen.

Same category.

We must purge all genitalia from our motivational lexicon,

male, female, and otherwise.

(soft uptempo music)

- Oh, come on, First Sergeant,

you might as well cut off my balls.

- So where's does that leave us?

- The best you can do is dickhead and cunt bubble,

you might as well turn in your brown round right now!

Private, get the fuck out!

- Yes, First Sergeant.

- Wait, I got one.

- Private Jones, get back in here!

- Yes, First Sergeant.

- Get over over here, you?

- Yes, Drill Sergeant.

- Vegan.

(Bates chuckles)

- Alright. Alright.

Calling him a pussy without actually saying it,

now that's an improvement.

- I think I'm smelling what you're stepping in.

How about Dedicated Infantry Combat Killer.

- I appreciate the subtlety and so will the command.

- Slap Dick!

- Clam it!

(soft uptempo music resumes)

- All right, my turn.

(sighs) I can't not call

fat bodies giants sacks of elephant jizz.

I just can't do it.

- For fuck sake!

- Come on, First Sergeant.

It's my go-to.

- Private, get the fuck outta here.

Fine, Bates.

You wanna get caught with your dick in your hand

and get chaptered out, that's on you.

Next thing you know,

you'll be on the street on hand job duty.

Private, just 'cause you have a dick for a face

doesn't mean you have dicks in your ears too.

Get the fuck out!

(music continues)

(hand clapping)

Hmm.

Moving on!

(upbeat music)

Present, Arms

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