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1
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(flame sizzling)
2
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(no audio)
3
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(intense music)
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- [Drill Sergeant] 10, 9, 8, 7, 6,
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(indistinct shouting)
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Five!
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Four!
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Three!
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Two!
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One!
(dramatic beat booms)
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- [Drill Sergeant] No-No Words.
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(soft uptempo music)
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- All right, team.
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We got another urine analysis this Friday.
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Who's admin?
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- Master Bates.
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- The Piss Whisperer.
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- What can I say?
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I wake up and I make them piss excellence.
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- All right, listen up.
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This is coming straight
from the top, all right?
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It's been decided that
a few of our beloved
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terms of endearment are
now considered unsavory
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in the current political climate.
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Henceforth, you are
forbidden from using dick
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(roll thuds)
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and its alternatives when
addressing a private.
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- But why?
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- [Jacko] We've always called them dicks.
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- It's tradition, First Sergeant.
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- Tradition meet
progress, drill sergeants.
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- Gay.
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- It's those fucking
liberals, ruining everything.
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- Wokeism.
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Gay.
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But, by gay, I mean not in
a homosexual way at all.
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I mean in like a lame way.
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But that goes without saying.
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- Regardless, cancel culture
is real and dicks are out!
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- (Chuckles) Dick's out.
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- But First Sergeant, what if their face
42
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actually looks like a dick?
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- Mhm.
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- Show me.
45
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- Private Jones, get in here.
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- [Jones] Coming.
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- You're not coming anywhere.
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(door claps)
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- Yes, Drill Sergeant?
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(music continues)
51
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- Yeah, I see what you mean.
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- Dismissed, Private.
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- Hold up.
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Let's use this as an opportunity
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to expand our motivational lexicon
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and find ulterior ways to
motivate Private Jones.
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- Pussy Mouth.
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- Cunt Bubble.
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- Chicken Vagina.
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- Same category, gentlemen.
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Same category.
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We must purge all genitalia
from our motivational lexicon,
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male, female, and otherwise.
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(soft uptempo music)
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- Oh, come on, First Sergeant,
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you might as well cut off my balls.
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- So where's does that leave us?
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- The best you can do is
dickhead and cunt bubble,
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you might as well turn in
your brown round right now!
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Private, get the fuck out!
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- Yes, First Sergeant.
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- Wait, I got one.
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- Private Jones, get back in here!
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- Yes, First Sergeant.
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- Get over over here, you?
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- Yes, Drill Sergeant.
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- Vegan.
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(Bates chuckles)
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- Alright. Alright.
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Calling him a pussy
without actually saying it,
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now that's an improvement.
82
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- I think I'm smelling
what you're stepping in.
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How about Dedicated
Infantry Combat Killer.
84
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- I appreciate the subtlety
and so will the command.
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- Slap Dick!
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- Clam it!
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(soft uptempo music resumes)
88
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- All right, my turn.
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(sighs) I can't not call
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fat bodies giants sacks of elephant jizz.
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I just can't do it.
92
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- For fuck sake!
93
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- Come on, First Sergeant.
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It's my go-to.
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- Private, get the fuck outta here.
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Fine, Bates.
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You wanna get caught with
your dick in your hand
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and get chaptered out, that's on you.
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Next thing you know,
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you'll be on the street on hand job duty.
101
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Private, just 'cause you
have a dick for a face
102
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doesn't mean you have
dicks in your ears too.
103
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Get the fuck out!
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(music continues)
105
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(hand clapping)
106
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Hmm.
107
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Moving on!
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(upbeat music)
109
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Present, Arms
110
00:04:09,892 --> 00:04:14,442
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