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1
00:00:03,005 --> 00:00:04,473
Did Holly pick up Jill yet?
2
00:00:04,474 --> 00:00:06,662
Yeah. This is my baby.
3
00:00:06,663 --> 00:00:09,049
Why do you always freak out
whenever Holly comes over?
4
00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:10,427
She's not that bad.
5
00:00:10,722 --> 00:00:12,295
Am I allowed to say that
6
00:00:12,296 --> 00:00:14,473
about a woman I accidentally
had a baby with?
7
00:00:14,474 --> 00:00:16,718
I wouldn't. She always wants to hang
8
00:00:16,719 --> 00:00:18,805
and connect with me over tequila shots.
9
00:00:18,806 --> 00:00:19,920
Just say no.
10
00:00:19,921 --> 00:00:22,111
I can't say no to tequila.
11
00:00:22,112 --> 00:00:23,709
That's why Travis exists.
12
00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:25,393
No way. Jill, too.
13
00:00:25,394 --> 00:00:27,225
What an adorable coincidence.
14
00:00:27,226 --> 00:00:28,457
Look on the bright side.
15
00:00:28,458 --> 00:00:31,290
She drives you crazy, which I enjoy.
16
00:00:33,639 --> 00:00:35,766
She's here. Come here.
17
00:00:35,858 --> 00:00:39,342
If she pushes past us with
her super bimbo strength,
18
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,402
we say we can't hang tonight...
19
00:00:41,403 --> 00:00:44,346
Because we all have some very
important thing to go to.
20
00:00:44,491 --> 00:00:45,408
Got it.
21
00:00:45,409 --> 00:00:47,733
Hey, you guys. Whoops. Whoa.
22
00:00:48,302 --> 00:00:50,433
Damn it. She backdoored us.
23
00:00:50,434 --> 00:00:53,394
Jules, I have so much I
gotta talk to you about.
24
00:00:53,655 --> 00:00:56,293
I'm sorry.
We can't hang because we all have
25
00:00:56,294 --> 00:01:00,033
a very important thing
we have to go to, so...
26
00:01:00,034 --> 00:01:02,033
That thing got canceled.
27
00:01:02,034 --> 00:01:05,382
I do have a different thing
that only I have to go to.
28
00:01:05,383 --> 00:01:08,230
You know what? I'll drive you.
Have fun, mom.
29
00:01:09,147 --> 00:01:10,731
Should we connect?
30
00:01:12,686 --> 00:01:13,758
Yeah.
31
00:01:15,271 --> 00:01:16,534
Ohh.
32
00:01:23,723 --> 00:01:24,627
Are you happy?
33
00:01:24,628 --> 00:01:27,561
I had to listen to Holly
yap for over an hour.
34
00:01:27,562 --> 00:01:29,554
She's way too young to
have that many stories
35
00:01:29,555 --> 00:01:31,806
about losing teeth. Sorry.
36
00:01:31,807 --> 00:01:34,682
That's the least convincing "sorry" ever.
I'll work on it.
37
00:01:34,683 --> 00:01:37,995
So Jules and I decided we want
to get married on the beach.
38
00:01:38,494 --> 00:01:39,290
You're gonna have to go to city hall
39
00:01:39,291 --> 00:01:40,542
and get a permit for that.
40
00:01:40,543 --> 00:01:42,943
Ooh. That sounds like quite an imbroglio.
41
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:46,961
She bought herself a little
word-of-the-day calendar.
42
00:01:47,118 --> 00:01:48,236
Ah. Gotcha.
43
00:01:48,237 --> 00:01:50,130
Why would you bust me on that?
44
00:01:50,131 --> 00:01:50,702
They would have just thought
45
00:01:50,703 --> 00:01:52,717
I had gotten all smart and stuff.
46
00:01:52,718 --> 00:01:53,933
Sorry.
47
00:01:53,934 --> 00:01:54,917
Oh, no. That was better.
48
00:01:54,918 --> 00:01:56,097
Right? I'm getting it.
49
00:01:56,098 --> 00:01:57,590
Getting a permit is easy.
50
00:01:57,591 --> 00:01:59,253
I got one to put that new speed bump
51
00:01:59,254 --> 00:02:00,615
in the cul-de-sac.
52
00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:03,811
Uhh! Ohh!
53
00:02:06,983 --> 00:02:10,147
That speed bump is gonna protect
our kids, especially Stan.
54
00:02:10,148 --> 00:02:12,329
He's obsessed with that manhole
in the middle of the street.
55
00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:14,026
I don't know what he
thinks is down there,
56
00:02:14,027 --> 00:02:15,513
but he leaves food for it.
57
00:02:15,514 --> 00:02:17,594
Well, it's the manhole monster.
58
00:02:17,783 --> 00:02:20,346
It eats little boys that don't listen.
59
00:02:20,347 --> 00:02:22,005
Solid parenting, as always.
60
00:02:22,006 --> 00:02:23,046
Thanks.
61
00:02:26,171 --> 00:02:27,289
Roger!
62
00:02:28,243 --> 00:02:30,501
Roger. How are you?
63
00:02:30,502 --> 00:02:32,326
Oh, same as always.
64
00:02:32,638 --> 00:02:34,321
Actually, I was married a few months ago,
65
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,003
so slightly worse.
66
00:02:36,809 --> 00:02:37,749
Oh, God.
67
00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:39,220
Next. Excuse me.
68
00:02:39,221 --> 00:02:42,102
I want to get a permit
for a beach wedding.
69
00:02:42,265 --> 00:02:44,090
We don't allow weddings on the beach.
70
00:02:44,110 --> 00:02:46,309
But I see parties on the
beach all the time.
71
00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:47,681
We allow parties.
72
00:02:47,682 --> 00:02:50,302
Okay, then I want a permit for a party.
73
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,142
Will there be a priest at your party?
74
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,257
Depends on how crazy it gets.
75
00:02:54,278 --> 00:02:55,530
No permit.
76
00:02:55,534 --> 00:02:57,169
If you have a problem, talk to the mayor.
77
00:02:57,170 --> 00:03:00,066
This podunk town has a mayor? Who?
78
00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:01,378
Me.
79
00:03:01,741 --> 00:03:02,926
Stop it.
80
00:03:03,923 --> 00:03:05,281
No, really. It's me.
81
00:03:07,534 --> 00:03:10,294
I love this cake shop/real estate office.
82
00:03:10,295 --> 00:03:11,906
You give me day-old
black-and-white cookies,
83
00:03:11,907 --> 00:03:13,917
and Jules lets me take
coffee from her side.
84
00:03:13,918 --> 00:03:15,082
Mm. The coffee's free?
85
00:03:15,083 --> 00:03:17,953
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
You'll have to buy a condo.
86
00:03:17,954 --> 00:03:18,881
Ah.
87
00:03:18,942 --> 00:03:21,869
Whoo, man, that camera cake looks real.
88
00:03:22,474 --> 00:03:23,953
I'll bet you wish you had that sucker
89
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,410
hanging around your neck.
90
00:03:25,945 --> 00:03:27,276
Why, because I'm asian?
91
00:03:27,277 --> 00:03:29,465
No! Yeah.
92
00:03:29,466 --> 00:03:31,357
The long "no" means "stop talking."
93
00:03:31,358 --> 00:03:32,942
Just another good old boy
94
00:03:32,943 --> 00:03:34,945
throwing racist stereotypes around.
95
00:03:34,946 --> 00:03:37,677
Racist? Am I that bad?
96
00:03:37,678 --> 00:03:38,989
No, sweetie.
97
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,281
Oh, my God.
Look at your black-and-white cookie.
98
00:03:42,282 --> 00:03:44,009
You've only eaten the white part.
99
00:03:44,386 --> 00:03:45,875
I'm a monster.
100
00:03:46,824 --> 00:03:49,973
Good! Leave! I don't even care!
101
00:03:52,802 --> 00:03:53,890
Hey.
102
00:03:54,311 --> 00:03:55,062
Eh.
103
00:03:55,063 --> 00:03:56,689
Uh, everything okay?
104
00:03:56,690 --> 00:03:58,442
Stupid Internet date.
105
00:03:58,443 --> 00:04:00,654
I thought having a baby
was gonna be, like,
106
00:04:00,655 --> 00:04:02,838
a nonstop party... you know?
107
00:04:02,839 --> 00:04:06,033
Wrong. Turns out they're
a total crotch-block.
108
00:04:06,034 --> 00:04:07,342
That guy is a tool.
109
00:04:07,343 --> 00:04:10,063
He should have put "hates
babies" on his profile.
110
00:04:10,064 --> 00:04:12,182
Oh, he did. I just ignored it.
111
00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:15,118
Hey, we were gonna go get some ice cream.
112
00:04:15,119 --> 00:04:16,018
Do you want to come?
113
00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:17,337
Can babies have ice cream?
114
00:04:17,338 --> 00:04:21,003
Oh, yeah. That's, like,
pretty much all she eats.
115
00:04:22,486 --> 00:04:24,685
There's got to be something you can do.
116
00:04:24,686 --> 00:04:27,025
Mean, I have been dreaming
of having a beach wedding
117
00:04:27,026 --> 00:04:29,522
since... well, yesterday.
118
00:04:29,658 --> 00:04:31,322
I know where this is going.
119
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:34,614
You think it would be safe for us to have
120
00:04:34,626 --> 00:04:37,683
a quick but passionate fling.
121
00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:40,727
I'm flattered...
122
00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:42,762
But it's not gonna happen.
123
00:04:43,002 --> 00:04:44,402
I'll try to keep it in my pants.
124
00:04:44,403 --> 00:04:45,731
That's a good girl.
125
00:04:45,745 --> 00:04:47,267
So who did you marry anyway?
126
00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:48,167
Ah.
127
00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:50,528
Well, hello, Jules. Hi.
128
00:04:50,529 --> 00:04:55,330
Aw. What an adorable engagement ring.
129
00:04:55,454 --> 00:04:57,150
It's like my ring had a baby.
130
00:04:58,463 --> 00:05:00,622
Wow. Barb, you're married. Mm.
131
00:05:00,678 --> 00:05:02,294
I'm so, um...
132
00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:05,030
Um, something for you.
133
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:08,046
Oh, you would have loved our wedding.
134
00:05:08,047 --> 00:05:09,917
We had the most spectacular ceremony
135
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,101
on the beach.
136
00:05:11,959 --> 00:05:13,417
It was more like a party.
137
00:05:13,418 --> 00:05:14,538
Yeah.
138
00:05:14,738 --> 00:05:17,436
You know how I'm always
talking about politics?
139
00:05:17,437 --> 00:05:18,585
Not once. Not ever.
140
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,372
This town needs a new mayor,
141
00:05:20,373 --> 00:05:22,838
and not one that's in bed
with "big business."
142
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:25,066
That's what Barb calls her private parts.
143
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,246
You know who'd be great?
144
00:05:27,247 --> 00:05:28,702
John Mayer.
145
00:05:29,254 --> 00:05:31,756
"Mayor Mayer"... it sounds really funny.
146
00:05:31,757 --> 00:05:34,382
Plus he could totally shake things up...
147
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,071
In my pants.
148
00:05:36,107 --> 00:05:37,705
I think it should be you, Andy.
149
00:05:37,706 --> 00:05:39,931
Me? You love getting involved.
150
00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:41,536
You petitioned against the new mall.
151
00:05:41,537 --> 00:05:43,626
You put in that new
speed bump we all hate.
152
00:05:43,627 --> 00:05:46,827
Plus you would look so
great kissing a baby
153
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,922
'cause you kinda look like a baby,
154
00:05:48,923 --> 00:05:50,497
and everyone knows there's nothing cuter
155
00:05:50,498 --> 00:05:52,042
than a baby kissing a baby.
156
00:05:52,043 --> 00:05:52,814
Truth.
157
00:05:52,815 --> 00:05:54,968
I actually think I would
be a great mayor.
158
00:05:54,969 --> 00:05:57,323
I love helping people, and at parades,
159
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,769
you get to wear a top hat
like the monopoly guy.
160
00:06:00,386 --> 00:06:03,538
Stan, you better not be taking
that to the manhole monster.
161
00:06:03,539 --> 00:06:05,372
But he's my best friend.
162
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:06,838
Your kid is weird.
163
00:06:07,674 --> 00:06:09,672
Why would you tell Andy to run for mayor?
164
00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:11,497
'Cause I want my beach wedding.
165
00:06:11,498 --> 00:06:15,082
Plus as a human being, he's...
super-lative.
166
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,307
Are you trying to say "superlative"?
167
00:06:17,803 --> 00:06:19,833
How can I not remember
words from two days ago?
168
00:06:19,834 --> 00:06:21,593
I mean, this thing doesn't work.
169
00:06:21,594 --> 00:06:23,872
Do you realize what you've done?
170
00:06:23,873 --> 00:06:24,954
Well, if you're gonna yell at me,
171
00:06:24,955 --> 00:06:26,426
you're gonna have to do it in the car.
172
00:06:26,449 --> 00:06:28,208
I gotta take back Travis' phone.
173
00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:30,594
I stole it to change my caller I.
D. photo.
174
00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:31,481
See?
175
00:06:31,482 --> 00:06:33,525
New photo... cute smile.
176
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,945
Old photo... sneeze face.
177
00:06:35,946 --> 00:06:39,754
I can't be married to
someone in public office.
178
00:06:39,755 --> 00:06:43,259
Jules, I'd have to interact with people.
179
00:06:43,566 --> 00:06:45,521
You know I hate the people!
180
00:06:45,522 --> 00:06:48,273
That's what you get for telling
Holly our thing was canceled.
181
00:06:48,327 --> 00:06:51,114
You know what I hope?
That the karma gods get you.
182
00:06:51,115 --> 00:06:54,666
Karma gods. Ooh. Scary.
183
00:07:00,894 --> 00:07:02,094
No.
184
00:07:02,977 --> 00:07:04,355
Thank you.
185
00:07:10,314 --> 00:07:11,117
Holly, get out.
186
00:07:11,118 --> 00:07:13,198
- Mom.
- No, it's okay, Trav.
187
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,704
Thanks for the ice cream...
188
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,342
And the tongue party.
189
00:07:19,595 --> 00:07:21,978
Okay, I want to start by saying
I understand why you're upset...
190
00:07:21,979 --> 00:07:23,994
not ready to talk. Okay.
191
00:07:24,654 --> 00:07:26,401
I love the tension in this room.
192
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:27,906
I just want to bake it
193
00:07:27,907 --> 00:07:30,501
into a big, puffy thing
and eat it all up.
194
00:07:30,502 --> 00:07:31,798
Seriously?
195
00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:33,257
I'm helping.
196
00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:36,264
So is Holly going to seduce
every man in my life?
197
00:07:36,265 --> 00:07:38,069
Okay, first of all,
Holly didn't seduce me.
198
00:07:38,070 --> 00:07:39,874
We just-t- you know what?
Tell me everything.
199
00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:41,698
Did she pull your hair?
200
00:07:41,723 --> 00:07:42,946
Ohh. Um, is she a biter?
201
00:07:42,947 --> 00:07:45,890
Ohh. What do her lips taste like?
202
00:07:46,974 --> 00:07:48,434
Cinnamon. Oh.
203
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:51,549
Well, I'm done with cinnamon.
There goes french toast.
204
00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:52,817
Are you proud of yourself?
205
00:07:52,818 --> 00:07:54,770
Holly really isn't that bad.
206
00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:55,733
If you j...
207
00:07:55,734 --> 00:07:58,358
Sorry. I forgot something.
208
00:07:59,935 --> 00:08:02,125
You are too quiet.
209
00:08:03,619 --> 00:08:06,018
She's a great mom. I'll give you that.
210
00:08:07,410 --> 00:08:08,214
Hey.
211
00:08:08,215 --> 00:08:10,174
Hey. I just wanted to make sure
212
00:08:10,175 --> 00:08:12,398
you're coming by Krazy Kakes today.
213
00:08:12,782 --> 00:08:16,406
I just invented this new line
of talking threat cakes.
214
00:08:16,407 --> 00:08:19,025
Okay. Say a chick steals your boyfriend.
215
00:08:19,026 --> 00:08:20,406
You send her a cake,
216
00:08:20,407 --> 00:08:23,209
but then when she opens
up the lid, it yells...
217
00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:25,194
"I'm coming for you, bitch!"
218
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,634
That's cute, right?
219
00:08:27,110 --> 00:08:29,287
I don't really like it
when my food talks to me.
220
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:30,913
That's why I don't eat monkeys.
221
00:08:30,914 --> 00:08:31,633
Oh.
222
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:33,113
Plus after that racial incident,
223
00:08:33,114 --> 00:08:34,798
I can't show my face back there.
224
00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:38,126
So you accidentally said the wrong thing.
225
00:08:38,229 --> 00:08:40,418
One time, I asked this blind lady
226
00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:41,993
when her baby was due.
227
00:08:41,994 --> 00:08:44,541
Turns out, she wasn't pregnant...
228
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:47,348
And she wasn't even a lady,
229
00:08:47,349 --> 00:08:49,302
but he really was blind, which was good,
230
00:08:49,303 --> 00:08:51,133
because when he went to go
throw his coffee at me,
231
00:08:51,134 --> 00:08:53,323
he totally missed, and he
hit a real pregnant lady,
232
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,913
and I was like, "Dude,
you're such a jerk!
233
00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:58,058
You just hit a real pregnant lady!"
234
00:08:58,386 --> 00:08:59,213
And then it turns out
235
00:08:59,214 --> 00:09:01,234
she wasn't pregnant either, so...
236
00:09:01,235 --> 00:09:02,874
There's a lot of fatties in this town.
237
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,857
I know, right?
238
00:09:05,362 --> 00:09:06,202
Well...
239
00:09:06,203 --> 00:09:08,769
I am craving one of your cupcakes.
240
00:09:08,770 --> 00:09:10,744
They are so addictive.
241
00:09:10,899 --> 00:09:12,809
You wanna know a company secret?
242
00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:16,290
Mm-hmm. A slip a little
nicotine into the frosting.
243
00:09:19,331 --> 00:09:21,929
Andy, I know you're
just around the corner
244
00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:23,750
building the confidence to come ask me
245
00:09:23,751 --> 00:09:25,078
if you can be the mayor.
246
00:09:26,736 --> 00:09:29,406
Point "A"... it's something
I'd be really good at.
247
00:09:29,839 --> 00:09:33,597
"B"... I want to turn "Gulfhaven"
into "Gulf Heaven."
248
00:09:33,598 --> 00:09:35,950
Huh? Possible campaign slogan?
249
00:09:36,703 --> 00:09:40,207
Look, whatever you
decide, I won't be mad,
250
00:09:40,298 --> 00:09:43,489
but will you please just do me a favor
251
00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:46,947
and really think about it... for me?
252
00:09:47,906 --> 00:09:50,146
Okay, sweetie. For you.
253
00:09:51,685 --> 00:09:53,888
Thanks a lot. Now I have to pretend
254
00:09:53,889 --> 00:09:56,948
to think about this dumb
mayor thing all day.
255
00:09:56,949 --> 00:09:58,593
I got my own crap to deal with.
256
00:09:58,594 --> 00:10:01,417
Do you know that if Travis
and Holly had a kid,
257
00:10:01,418 --> 00:10:03,377
my granddaughter and my stepdaughter
258
00:10:03,378 --> 00:10:04,492
would be sisters?
259
00:10:04,493 --> 00:10:06,381
That puts me in the
hillbilly hall of fame,
260
00:10:06,382 --> 00:10:08,025
right next to my cousin Chestnut,
261
00:10:08,026 --> 00:10:09,757
who was murdered by his own pigs.
262
00:10:09,758 --> 00:10:12,861
The pigs might have killed
him, but he wasn't murdered.
263
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,897
"Murder" implies forethought.
264
00:10:14,898 --> 00:10:16,994
They murdered him.
There might be a trial.
265
00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:18,196
Where? Okay.
266
00:10:18,197 --> 00:10:20,214
This seems like a good stopping point.
267
00:10:20,215 --> 00:10:22,345
Why are you two even upset, hmm?
268
00:10:22,346 --> 00:10:24,492
I mean, Ellie, I assume you're just going
269
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,937
to wait a little while, then crush
270
00:10:25,938 --> 00:10:27,345
your husband's spirits, like usual.
271
00:10:27,346 --> 00:10:29,113
Correct. And, Jules, even though
272
00:10:29,114 --> 00:10:31,293
I'd love to know why there's no
more cinnamon in the house...
273
00:10:31,294 --> 00:10:33,449
Because I don't want my
oatmeal to taste like
274
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:34,858
a whore's mouth.
275
00:10:34,859 --> 00:10:36,289
Pfft! Fair enough.
276
00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:38,505
You made it very clear to Travis...
277
00:10:38,506 --> 00:10:40,764
That you don't want him
seeing Holly, so it's over.
278
00:10:42,210 --> 00:10:43,250
Hey, mom.
279
00:10:44,162 --> 00:10:46,370
I think I'm falling for Holly.
280
00:10:47,538 --> 00:10:48,646
How delish.
281
00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:52,182
No, no, no. Ellie, you go. Grayson, stay.
282
00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:54,269
Ohh. Oh, man.
283
00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:02,005
Oh, man.
284
00:11:02,006 --> 00:11:03,173
No, it's okay. I called him.
285
00:11:03,174 --> 00:11:05,410
Hi, Mr. Koh. Your cake is ready,
286
00:11:05,411 --> 00:11:10,318
and... Bobby here actually paid for it.
287
00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:12,093
I did? You did because you felt
288
00:11:12,094 --> 00:11:13,980
so bad for offending him.
289
00:11:14,142 --> 00:11:18,030
Yep. What she says. I'm sorry.
290
00:11:18,362 --> 00:11:20,026
I accept your apology.
291
00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:24,769
Forgiven! See?
292
00:11:24,770 --> 00:11:28,821
Bobby, you faced it, and it's over.
293
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,973
It's not. I mean, I didn't say anything,
294
00:11:30,974 --> 00:11:33,469
but my mind kept thinking
bad things, like...
295
00:11:33,470 --> 00:11:34,252
That dude over there...
296
00:11:34,253 --> 00:11:35,900
I'm wondering if he can dunk.
297
00:11:36,491 --> 00:11:38,627
You're being too hard on yourself.
298
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,001
Bobby?
299
00:11:41,002 --> 00:11:42,155
Can you dunk?
300
00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:43,341
I can.
301
00:11:43,342 --> 00:11:45,383
Oh, yeah! That's so awesome!
302
00:11:51,075 --> 00:11:53,698
Andy... look, I've thought about
303
00:11:53,699 --> 00:11:56,397
this mayor thing all
day, and I-I'm sorry.
304
00:11:56,398 --> 00:11:59,358
It's just not something I
feel comfortable with.
305
00:12:00,143 --> 00:12:01,438
Are you okay?
306
00:12:01,462 --> 00:12:03,190
Yeah, I said I wouldn't be mad.
307
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:04,870
Thanks, boo.
308
00:12:05,146 --> 00:12:06,794
Are you speeding up?
309
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,416
Ooh. I forgot that speed bump was there.
310
00:12:13,587 --> 00:12:14,866
Really?
311
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,533
There's just something
so innocent about Holly.
312
00:12:18,534 --> 00:12:19,958
I just want to...
313
00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:22,126
Protect her.
314
00:12:22,479 --> 00:12:23,949
Plus Jill could really use a father.
315
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,918
She has a father. I meant a good one.
316
00:12:26,103 --> 00:12:28,519
It's like my life is
flashing before my eyes.
317
00:12:29,306 --> 00:12:31,099
I should have drank more wine.
318
00:12:31,133 --> 00:12:32,906
Luckily my place has room for a crib.
319
00:12:32,907 --> 00:12:34,469
Bed's tiny, but, uh, Holly likes
320
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:37,349
to sleep right on top of you,
staring into your eyes.
321
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:38,528
Don't worry, mom.
322
00:12:38,529 --> 00:12:40,065
She says she's on the pill...
323
00:12:40,066 --> 00:12:40,938
Yeah!
324
00:12:40,939 --> 00:12:43,131
And I'm totally messing with you.
325
00:12:43,627 --> 00:12:44,713
Why?
326
00:12:44,714 --> 00:12:48,026
Because you treat Holly like crap.
We all do.
327
00:12:48,027 --> 00:12:49,541
She didn't seduce me.
328
00:12:49,542 --> 00:12:51,618
I just saw a hot, vulnerable girl,
329
00:12:51,619 --> 00:12:52,769
and I took advantage of her.
330
00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:54,462
I thought you were better than that.
331
00:12:54,463 --> 00:12:55,694
No.
332
00:12:56,015 --> 00:12:57,599
Players gotta play.
333
00:12:58,998 --> 00:13:00,658
That was a habit.
334
00:13:00,659 --> 00:13:02,194
I'm gonna take that high five back.
335
00:13:02,195 --> 00:13:03,969
Ghjghjgj
336
00:13:04,311 --> 00:13:06,041
I know you don't want to deal with Holly,
337
00:13:06,042 --> 00:13:08,009
but you can't box her out of your life.
338
00:13:08,010 --> 00:13:09,002
Hmm.
339
00:13:10,034 --> 00:13:12,497
That's for bringing this
girl into our life.
340
00:13:12,902 --> 00:13:14,567
It's okay. I'm still gonna wear it.
341
00:13:14,923 --> 00:13:17,120
Besides, Trav has a point.
342
00:13:17,121 --> 00:13:18,515
You really want to go there?
343
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:22,226
Uh-oh. He's always backed down
344
00:13:22,227 --> 00:13:24,758
when it comes to defending his baby mama,
345
00:13:24,759 --> 00:13:27,094
but now he just might take a stand.
346
00:13:29,006 --> 00:13:30,858
High five reinstated.
347
00:13:31,235 --> 00:13:33,077
Yeah. You won't even give Holly a chance,
348
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:34,478
and that is not like you.
349
00:13:34,479 --> 00:13:38,173
If you need us... team Holly...
we'll be at my place.
350
00:13:38,174 --> 00:13:39,887
I don't care. Leave.
351
00:13:39,998 --> 00:13:43,382
You're both being totally... magnanimous!
352
00:13:43,383 --> 00:13:45,190
Not a bad thing. It means we're awesome.
353
00:13:45,194 --> 00:13:46,938
Stupid calendar!
354
00:13:51,925 --> 00:13:53,077
You know when you're kissing Holly
355
00:13:53,078 --> 00:13:55,366
and she pushes her gum into your mouth
356
00:13:55,410 --> 00:13:57,321
and sucks it back right under hers?
357
00:13:57,702 --> 00:13:59,198
Why is that so hot?
358
00:13:59,655 --> 00:14:01,287
Probably her big boobs.
359
00:14:01,789 --> 00:14:02,877
Probably.
360
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:06,615
In case you two are wondering,
361
00:14:06,858 --> 00:14:09,337
this is my personal nightmare.
362
00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:10,773
Here you go, little guy.
363
00:14:11,895 --> 00:14:12,918
Great.
364
00:14:13,123 --> 00:14:16,787
As mayor, I dub this pothole filled.
365
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,527
Thank you. Thank you.
366
00:14:18,528 --> 00:14:21,545
Of course you may have my
autograph, Ms. Latifah.
367
00:14:22,850 --> 00:14:24,729
Here. "His honor... "
368
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,767
Queen Latifah comes to visit?
369
00:14:27,406 --> 00:14:30,975
No, she's my trusted advisor.
She helps me keep it real.
370
00:14:31,777 --> 00:14:34,146
I'm really sorry about
all of this mayor stuff.
371
00:14:34,509 --> 00:14:35,599
It's stupid.
372
00:14:36,463 --> 00:14:37,790
I'll clean this up.
373
00:14:44,435 --> 00:14:46,722
Well, that's much worse.
374
00:14:47,114 --> 00:14:48,714
I'll get a towel.
375
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:53,533
I've put together a panel
of our minority friends
376
00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:54,959
to get you through this.
377
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,573
Today we're gonna fix racism,
378
00:14:57,574 --> 00:14:59,097
hopefully, before our burgers come.
379
00:14:59,098 --> 00:14:59,998
I can't stay long.
380
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:01,646
I have an engineering paper due tomorrow.
381
00:15:01,815 --> 00:15:04,183
Way to fight the stereotype there, dude.
382
00:15:04,210 --> 00:15:08,232
And everyone say hi to Wade,
my Twitter boyfriend,
383
00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:10,938
coming to us live from... Afghanistan.
384
00:15:11,175 --> 00:15:12,695
Hey, girl.
385
00:15:13,511 --> 00:15:14,558
Why aren't you naked?
386
00:15:14,559 --> 00:15:15,855
Oh. Um...
387
00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:18,631
So we kind of have Skype
sex all the time.
388
00:15:19,302 --> 00:15:21,270
I've actually sat on that screen.
389
00:15:21,271 --> 00:15:22,869
It's really strong.
390
00:15:22,959 --> 00:15:23,734
Sorry.
391
00:15:23,735 --> 00:15:25,817
Instead, I need you to help convince
392
00:15:25,818 --> 00:15:28,530
a total stranger that
he's not prejudiced.
393
00:15:28,531 --> 00:15:30,086
Yeah, that's fantastic.
394
00:15:30,087 --> 00:15:32,457
Why is Andy on the minority council?
395
00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:33,642
I'm Latino.
396
00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:36,637
Oh, I'm sorry. No.
397
00:15:36,638 --> 00:15:38,930
It's just always funny when you say it.
398
00:15:38,931 --> 00:15:41,847
Well, you shouldn't be laughing
at other people's heritage.
399
00:15:41,848 --> 00:15:43,293
I mean, listen to me.
400
00:15:43,294 --> 00:15:46,157
It's like the pot calling
the kettle bla...
401
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:48,497
african-american.
402
00:15:48,498 --> 00:15:49,651
Seriously?
403
00:15:50,690 --> 00:15:52,481
I get that you two feel guilty.
404
00:15:52,482 --> 00:15:55,365
You should. You both think with your...
danglies.
405
00:15:55,366 --> 00:15:56,644
Yep. Guilty.
406
00:15:56,683 --> 00:15:58,944
Oh. Feel free to just let yourself in
407
00:15:58,945 --> 00:16:00,170
and drink my wine.
408
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:01,837
It's my second bottle.
409
00:16:01,838 --> 00:16:03,857
How are you still speaking clearly?
410
00:16:03,858 --> 00:16:05,121
It's only white.
411
00:16:05,122 --> 00:16:07,150
Look, Holly just wants to be your friend.
412
00:16:07,151 --> 00:16:09,357
She's the mother of your child.
413
00:16:09,358 --> 00:16:10,702
You should bond with her.
414
00:16:11,266 --> 00:16:13,458
You know what I learned from
my friendship with Ellie?
415
00:16:13,459 --> 00:16:15,065
There's no such thing as too mean.
416
00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:16,791
Never let your friends know
for sure if you like them?
417
00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:18,734
Always hold a grudge? Really?
418
00:16:18,735 --> 00:16:20,366
Sorry. I wanted to do one, too.
419
00:16:21,066 --> 00:16:22,387
Sometimes it's okay
420
00:16:22,388 --> 00:16:24,421
to occasionally put yourself first.
421
00:16:24,422 --> 00:16:26,729
I mean, I-it's like that
thing with Andy being mayor.
422
00:16:26,730 --> 00:16:28,322
She knows it would make her miserable,
423
00:16:28,323 --> 00:16:29,814
so she said no.
424
00:16:29,815 --> 00:16:32,582
I mean, sometimes it's
okay to be selfish,
425
00:16:32,646 --> 00:16:33,864
right, Ellie?
426
00:16:33,865 --> 00:16:35,148
It's not.
427
00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:39,559
Seriously? Now's the time
you decide to be human?
428
00:16:41,302 --> 00:16:42,807
Come on. I want to show you something.
429
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:49,137
Look, you have this crazy blind spot
430
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:50,174
for all our faults,
431
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,418
like, uh, you know, Grayson's vanity
432
00:16:52,419 --> 00:16:55,017
and dad's childishness.
433
00:16:55,018 --> 00:16:56,306
Your greasy hair.
434
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:59,266
I said "blind spot."
Means you don't see it.
435
00:17:00,313 --> 00:17:04,193
I just wish you could stop
seeing Holly for her faults
436
00:17:04,194 --> 00:17:06,914
and see her for what she really is...
437
00:17:08,246 --> 00:17:09,845
a young mom...
438
00:17:10,289 --> 00:17:12,498
Who feels like she's
in way over her head.
439
00:17:13,123 --> 00:17:14,690
I mean, that was you once.
440
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,931
That was really hard.
441
00:17:19,878 --> 00:17:21,430
Yeah, well, now you know.
442
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,418
And you are really smug.
443
00:17:24,803 --> 00:17:26,234
I'm not blind to that either.
444
00:17:26,235 --> 00:17:27,417
Don't hate.
445
00:17:28,562 --> 00:17:30,245
And every time I open my mouth,
446
00:17:30,246 --> 00:17:32,437
I'm afraid I'm just gonna offend someone.
447
00:17:32,646 --> 00:17:34,401
You know, sometimes I think
it would just be easier
448
00:17:34,402 --> 00:17:36,835
if we all separated into
our own groups, you know,
449
00:17:36,836 --> 00:17:39,423
like, blacks with blacks,
whites with whites.
450
00:17:39,424 --> 00:17:40,969
They tried that in South Africa.
451
00:17:40,970 --> 00:17:43,178
Yeah, and thank God Bono fixed it.
452
00:17:43,179 --> 00:17:44,497
All right.
Let's just say we're picking teams
453
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:45,810
to play basketball.
454
00:17:45,913 --> 00:17:48,118
Now, Wade, would you be
offended if I picked you first,
455
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,581
even though all I know about
you is that you're black?
456
00:17:50,582 --> 00:17:52,390
Hell, yeah, man. That's messed up.
457
00:17:52,391 --> 00:17:53,597
So I shouldn't pick you.
458
00:17:53,598 --> 00:17:55,123
Of course you should, man. I can dunk.
459
00:17:55,124 --> 00:17:56,338
I knew it!
460
00:17:56,339 --> 00:17:58,082
And as a Latino...
461
00:17:59,613 --> 00:18:01,393
Really? Now we're all laughing?
462
00:18:01,394 --> 00:18:02,865
Why is it okay to laugh at him?
463
00:18:02,866 --> 00:18:05,401
I mean, this is all such...
such a moving target, man.
464
00:18:05,402 --> 00:18:06,481
I can't handle it.
465
00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:08,538
Look, buddy, the fact that
you're agonizing so much
466
00:18:08,539 --> 00:18:11,178
over this means you're a
better man than most.
467
00:18:12,046 --> 00:18:13,742
Oh, thanks, man.
468
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,403
Oh, my God.
469
00:18:17,199 --> 00:18:19,119
My race panel worked.
470
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,958
If there is one thing that we've learned
471
00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:23,505
from Michelle Pfeiffer
in "Dangerous Minds"
472
00:18:23,506 --> 00:18:25,433
or Sandy Bullock in "The Blind Side"
473
00:18:25,434 --> 00:18:27,901
or Hilary Swank in that
movie no one ever saw,
474
00:18:27,902 --> 00:18:30,989
it's that all you need
to fix minority problems
475
00:18:31,442 --> 00:18:33,075
is a really pretty white woman.
476
00:18:39,655 --> 00:18:40,903
So you want to be mayor?
477
00:18:42,083 --> 00:18:43,220
Go for it.
478
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:49,853
This is so awesome!
479
00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:52,874
You know why you're great?
480
00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:55,513
Yes, but tell me anyway.
481
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,423
You try to hide it,
482
00:18:57,974 --> 00:19:00,550
but you really do care
about what makes me happy.
483
00:19:01,647 --> 00:19:02,733
Okay.
484
00:19:06,843 --> 00:19:08,410
Here's what I want as first lady.
485
00:19:08,626 --> 00:19:11,105
"I get to park wherever I want.
486
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:13,326
"Our town should be less dog-friendly.
487
00:19:13,327 --> 00:19:15,325
"No car alarms. No rollerbladers.
488
00:19:15,326 --> 00:19:16,770
"No street performers.
489
00:19:16,771 --> 00:19:20,577
No more wooden lawn birds that do this."
490
00:19:20,578 --> 00:19:21,564
"No carnivals.
491
00:19:21,565 --> 00:19:24,673
"No 5ks. No 10ks. No k's.
492
00:19:24,674 --> 00:19:27,167
Hair salons with names that are puns."
493
00:19:27,168 --> 00:19:30,188
The hairport. We get it.
It's near the airport.
494
00:19:30,189 --> 00:19:32,397
"No public coughing. No circumcisions.
495
00:19:32,398 --> 00:19:34,810
"No pierced ears on babies.
496
00:19:34,811 --> 00:19:36,313
"No adults who skateboard.
497
00:19:36,314 --> 00:19:37,933
"No tank tops. No tube tops.
498
00:19:37,934 --> 00:19:40,466
No short shorts, and no stupid people."
499
00:19:40,518 --> 00:19:42,069
Then my pen ran out.
500
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,270
Uh, yeah, and don't forget,
501
00:19:43,271 --> 00:19:45,393
you want me to let Jules have
her wedding on the beach.
502
00:19:45,394 --> 00:19:46,850
Oh, I don't care about that.
503
00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:49,415
Jules?
504
00:19:49,425 --> 00:19:51,938
I let Grayson take Tampa for ice cream,
505
00:19:51,939 --> 00:19:54,115
and I said I'd meet him here after,
506
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,206
so I'll just wait out
here till they get back.
507
00:19:58,486 --> 00:20:00,742
It's okay, Holly. Come in.
508
00:20:03,742 --> 00:20:04,767
Push.
509
00:20:05,235 --> 00:20:08,722
Whoa. Thanks. Weird door.
510
00:20:09,038 --> 00:20:09,937
Not really.
511
00:20:09,938 --> 00:20:13,027
So how about some tequila and girl talk?
512
00:20:13,518 --> 00:20:14,639
No.
513
00:20:16,707 --> 00:20:18,978
You know, if you're gonna
be a part of this family,
514
00:20:19,711 --> 00:20:21,615
you're gonna have to learn to love wine.
515
00:20:22,402 --> 00:20:23,502
Family?
516
00:20:23,826 --> 00:20:25,010
Oh, my God.
517
00:20:25,046 --> 00:20:27,062
I totally feel like
hugging you right now.
518
00:20:27,154 --> 00:20:28,370
All right. Bring it.
519
00:20:29,845 --> 00:20:30,950
Mm.
520
00:20:31,575 --> 00:20:33,677
You hug just like your son.
521
00:20:33,678 --> 00:20:35,039
All right. Don't ruin it.
522
00:20:40,427 --> 00:20:42,945
Mmm. This tastes like spicy, red vodka.
523
00:20:42,946 --> 00:20:44,889
Oh, you are gonna love this stuff.
524
00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:46,473
Oh, my God.
525
00:20:48,898 --> 00:20:50,982
Now let's pop a little wine
526
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,624
and talk about the
supposed pig trial, hmm?
527
00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:56,808
I got 9,000 questions.
Do they use handcuffs?
528
00:20:56,809 --> 00:20:59,386
They use rope. Jury of their peers?
529
00:20:59,406 --> 00:21:00,850
Maybe. Lawyers?
530
00:21:00,851 --> 00:21:02,350
Humans. Bailiffs?
531
00:21:02,351 --> 00:21:04,834
Horses. How do they get the
pig on the witness stand?
532
00:21:04,835 --> 00:21:07,510
Pig ramp. Do they understand
what people are saying?
533
00:21:07,511 --> 00:21:08,817
They have interpreters.
534
00:21:08,818 --> 00:21:10,158
Is the jury ever fed ham?
535
00:21:10,159 --> 00:21:11,634
Not if they're kosher.
536
00:21:11,635 --> 00:21:13,722
What's the maximum sentence?
537
00:21:13,723 --> 00:21:14,373
Bacon.
538
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,914
Is there a pig traffic court?
539
00:21:15,915 --> 00:21:17,369
Well, I've heard of it.
I've never seen it.
540
00:21:17,370 --> 00:21:20,110
How do they get the pig
to stop squealing? Gavel.
541
00:21:20,111 --> 00:21:21,965
What if a pig calls a cop a "pig"?
542
00:21:21,966 --> 00:21:24,089
That's funny. That's funny. People laugh.
543
00:21:24,090 --> 00:21:25,994
Do the pigs wear prison jumpsuits?
544
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,322
No, bow ties, and it's really adorable.
545
00:21:28,347 --> 00:21:30,347
Sync by YYeTs, corrections by
into-the-light, www.addic7ed.com
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