Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,240
What is up with the cop uniform?
2
00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,540
Aw, this is from when Grayson proposed to me,
3
00:00:06,630 --> 00:00:08,630
but lately, we've been using it for,
4
00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:10,110
well, you know how we do.
5
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,570
Role playas.
6
00:00:12,910 --> 00:00:14,650
You have the right to remain naked.
7
00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:17,950
How would you like it if we talked about our sex life all the time?
8
00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:20,060
- Oh, come on. - No. Don't. No, no, no.
9
00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:22,720
Great. They're grossed out by the thought of us naked.
10
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:23,850
Not us, my friend.
11
00:00:34,190 --> 00:00:35,370
Newspaper jinx!
12
00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:38,830
I win. Come on, guys. Hand 'em over.
13
00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:42,710
Sweet, triple coupons.
14
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:43,840
Tom, do you think you could
15
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,500
turn that new fountain off every once in a while?
16
00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:47,530
Why?
17
00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:49,030
I sleep with my windows open,
18
00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:51,110
and it just makes me have to pee constantly.
19
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:57,770
What just happened? Was that magic?
20
00:00:57,770 --> 00:00:59,570
It's the damn bicycle boys.
21
00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:01,560
They found a shortcut to the new mall.
22
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:02,620
What new mall?
23
00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,330
They built it right behind our neighborhood.
24
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,900
You signed my petition trying to stop it, remember?
25
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,650
No.
26
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,950
The bicycle boys are bad news, Jules.
27
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,090
They--They write "don't" on the stop signs.
28
00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:14,490
They call anyone over 20 "grandpa".
29
00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:18,300
They... made my garden gnomes gay.
30
00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:21,440
Actually, that was me, Tom,
31
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,070
but those bicycle boys--
32
00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:25,490
they picked the wrong cul-de-sac.
33
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,610
- Duck! - What?
34
00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:34,840
A new mall? That's horrible.
35
00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:36,580
Do they have hot dogs on a stick?
36
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:39,530
No! We are against the new mall, even though
37
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,620
they have an awesome men's store called "Short And Wide".
38
00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,280
I believe we just found your new nickname.
39
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,550
Fine, but I will still gladly take on
40
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,660
the burden of handling the bicycle boys.
41
00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:51,010
Short and wide fancies himself the protector of the neighborhood.
42
00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:52,690
I'm more like the king.
43
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:54,220
I do everything around here.
44
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,620
No, you don't.
45
00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:57,570
Who got us all new recycling bins?
46
00:01:57,570 --> 00:01:59,820
Who writes the Cul-de-sac's Weekly newsletter?
47
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,280
Who got the permits so Tom could put up his fountain?
48
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,130
That thing undid six months of potty training for Stan.
49
00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:08,270
Andy, you're talking about manual labor.
50
00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:12,350
Kings didn't build the pyramids. Slaves did.
51
00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:14,320
Or aliens.
52
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,680
You know, I wine-watched a documentary last night,
53
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,000
and it's all a little fuzzy.
54
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,160
Come back, sweetie. Bring your point with you.
55
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,110
Sorry.
56
00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:22,590
I am the king of the neighborhood,
57
00:02:22,590 --> 00:02:24,580
because I take care of the people.
58
00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:26,530
Who saved the Goldsteins' marriage?
59
00:02:26,990 --> 00:02:29,580
Who stopped Mrs. Rose from her suicide attempt?
60
00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:31,380
She was gonna jump off her shed.
61
00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:33,450
She was holding scissors.
62
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:36,300
Okay. Let's take it to a vote.
63
00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:39,820
Okay, all that think Andy is king of the neighborhood,
64
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:41,360
raise your hand.
65
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,940
Grayson, count those.
66
00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:45,250
Give me a sec.
67
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:47,760
Zero.
68
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,750
And those who think I am king.
69
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,950
All hail King Jules.
70
00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:54,470
Come on!
71
00:02:54,470 --> 00:02:56,070
Bye, S.W.
72
00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:02,720
Okay, dad, stop posing.
73
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,020
The assignment is to take a picture of a stranger
74
00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:07,190
working in his natural environment.
75
00:03:07,190 --> 00:03:08,820
You're not supposed to know you're being photographed.
76
00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:10,240
I see the camera right there.
77
00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:11,580
I see your dilemma.
78
00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:12,720
Can I wear the pirate hat?
79
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:13,980
No pirate hat.
80
00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:15,750
This is gonna be a boring picture.
81
00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:18,700
Crazy idea--instead of cheating on your assignment,
82
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,930
how about--get this-- not cheating?
83
00:03:20,930 --> 00:03:23,820
Yeah, that's not really an option with the old, uh...
84
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:25,560
skull fracture.
85
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,980
You want to see what happens when you try to take
86
00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:30,050
secret shots of strangers while wearing a helmet?
87
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,430
"Daddy, look!"
88
00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:33,030
"It's Dork Vader."
89
00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:34,040
"It's Dork Vader."
90
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,140
I got that one a lot.
91
00:03:35,140 --> 00:03:36,640
Okay, here. Bobby.
92
00:03:36,810 --> 00:03:38,880
Go like this. Purse your lips a little, like...
93
00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:41,980
What? It's--It's what we did
94
00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:44,390
when I was an underwear model for Montgomery Ward.
95
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,570
You just tried to slip that one in there, didn't ya?
96
00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:49,150
There are two types of underwear models--
97
00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:51,810
front guys and butt guys. I was both.
98
00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:54,660
He said proudly. All right. Dad.
99
00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:57,660
Grayson in bikini briefs-- think about it.
100
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,280
Whoa, it's not a sad thing.
101
00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:04,150
Laurie, why are you texting me?
102
00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:06,360
And you sent me a nude picture of yourself?
103
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,510
You just got photo bombebe
104
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,470
Check out your downstairs.
105
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,140
Someone's an artist.
106
00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,840
- Thank you. - Dear god, jelly bean.
107
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,580
Why would you risk having a picture like this get out?
108
00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:20,550
What risk?
109
00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:23,990
The whole world saw paris Hilton's Berts and Ernie,
110
00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:25,480
And now she's rich.
111
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,670
Yeah, and now she's rich.
112
00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:29,900
Jules put naked pictures of herself online.
113
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,210
That was an accident.
114
00:04:31,210 --> 00:04:32,920
Apparently, anyone can call themselves
115
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,120
an "online dermatologist".
116
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,340
Now I have Ellie check my downstairs moles.
117
00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:39,120
Nothing good comes out of
118
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,820
letting nude pictures of yourself out in the world.
119
00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:44,960
You are so wrong, and I'm going to prove it.
120
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,700
There's this army guy in Afghanistan
121
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:47,580
that I met on Twitter.
122
00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,020
He's been asking for a skin pic,
123
00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:51,350
and now I am about to oblige.
124
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:52,720
"Send".
125
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,690
Don't worry. I kept it classy.
126
00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:57,240
Covered up my Berts.
127
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,740
Single-nerped him. Just a peek.
128
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,160
You're a dummy.
129
00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:05,040
It's amazing you got this from a stranger.
130
00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:08,510
The sea has taken so much from him, and yet...
131
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:11,910
it's all he has.
132
00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:13,260
Do you really think so?
133
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:15,150
No. Head of my department was walking by.
134
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:16,520
I wanted to sound smart.
135
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,910
Oh, come on. Don't go sensitive artist on me.
136
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,370
Look at me.
137
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,530
Wow, it is not easy to have an honest moment
138
00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:25,330
with a kid wearing a helmet.
139
00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:27,130
Um, I'll push through.
140
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,750
Okay, so usually when I tell students their work moves me,
141
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:30,990
I'm lying to spare their feelings.
142
00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:33,090
There's a lot of criers at this school.
143
00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:35,950
But your work does move me.
144
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:38,740
Thanks.
145
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:44,810
Professor LeClaire?
146
00:05:45,130 --> 00:05:47,000
Everyone hates my photo essay.
147
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,420
Oh, Franklin, no, no, no. It's wonderful.
148
00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:51,950
It's not. It's bad.
149
00:05:58,990 --> 00:05:59,490
Hey, Sig.
150
00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:01,540
You know that dream when you're falling and you won't stop?
151
00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:03,850
I kind of feel like that all the time now.
152
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,240
Why is that, Helmet?
153
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,740
For starters, people call me "Helmet".
154
00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:10,180
Also, I'm cheating in my favorite class with the only teacher
155
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:12,150
who has ever believed in my talent as an artist.
156
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,200
I'm not sure how it could get much worse.
157
00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:16,300
Trav.
158
00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:18,160
I'm in love with that gal.
159
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,110
There it is.
160
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,810
Well, you fancy yourself the king of the people.
161
00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:30,820
So go ahead. Handle it.
162
00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:33,040
I will. Hey, guys.
163
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,190
Guys.
164
00:06:35,450 --> 00:06:37,050
Those are cool bikes.
165
00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:39,580
You know, when I was a kid, I had a Huffy.
166
00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:42,340
Her name was "Sparkly Thunder".
167
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,820
Anyway, instead of going through our yards...
168
00:06:48,380 --> 00:06:49,460
What are you doing?
169
00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:51,300
Oh, well, that's cute.
170
00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:54,040
Well, I'll just wait here till you get bored.
171
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,540
Got all day.
172
00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,950
Stupid fountain. Do you really want to see
173
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,820
a middle-aged woman pee right here in the street?
174
00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:06,760
Yeah. I-I'd want to see that, too.
175
00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:15,670
- I call bathroom. - I call window.
176
00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:17,820
Fine. I'll go downstairs.
177
00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:24,650
That's it. This ends now.
178
00:07:25,870 --> 00:07:27,980
The bicycle boys stole my fountain.
179
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,260
No.
180
00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:30,760
- Come on! - Damn them!
181
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,040
Oh! I am sorry for your loss, Tom.
182
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,270
You're a good friend.
183
00:07:35,270 --> 00:07:36,580
I really am.
184
00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:40,890
Now let me say what we're all thinking.
185
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,280
Wine fountain.
186
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,740
Okay, we have to do that.
187
00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:46,180
Agreed, but first I need help
188
00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,590
figuring out what to do with the bicycle boys.
189
00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:50,420
- You know, you could always-- - I'm sorry.
190
00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:53,050
I almost forgot-- I already fixed it.
191
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,500
Meet Officer Pumpkinhead.
192
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,810
Those boys will see him,
193
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,950
think the place is crawling with 5-0, and move along.
194
00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:01,580
There's no way this works.
195
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,100
Wait. I want to say it with you.
196
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,480
Come on!
197
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,300
Guess what?
198
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:17,290
No, thanks.
199
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:20,130
The army guy and I stayed up all night tweeting,
200
00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:23,600
and now we're dating. It's actually pretty serious.
201
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,410
It's healthy when things move that fast.
202
00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:26,970
I told you good things would come
203
00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:28,680
from sending naked pictures.
204
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,620
You're fake-dating someone you've never met,
205
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,440
who may or may not be in the army,
206
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,690
who may or may not be a man,
207
00:08:35,690 --> 00:08:38,710
and who may or may not slice you from nose to navel
208
00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:40,230
when you finally meet.
209
00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:42,380
I wonder what he looks like.
210
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,220
I hope if he's black, he's super black.
211
00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:49,390
Dark black is hot. Is that racist?
212
00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:55,600
No, but it makes us uncomfortable.
213
00:08:55,610 --> 00:08:56,780
Okay.
214
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:57,950
Dad, come on.
215
00:08:57,950 --> 00:09:00,220
You're being even more ridiculous than normal.
216
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:01,380
Is that even possible?
217
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:02,730
Well, he's just mad because
218
00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:04,330
I'm in love with a gal I've never even met.
219
00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:07,780
No way! I'm in love with a dude I've never met. No look!
220
00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:09,520
Maybe looking is important.
221
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,000
I only saw her for a second,
222
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,370
but man, my heart raced, time stopped.
223
00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:15,590
Fireworks?
224
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,010
I mean, haven't you guys ever felt
225
00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:19,770
an instant connection with someone you just met?
226
00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:21,010
- Never. - Once.
227
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:22,210
Several times a week.
228
00:09:22,210 --> 00:09:24,630
And only Ellie is correct.
229
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,500
There is no such thing as love at first sight.
230
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:30,000
Professor LeClaire--
231
00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:33,650
Just give me a sec. I mean, look at him.
232
00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,190
Yeah, I'm good.
233
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,070
You don't speak French, do you?
234
00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:44,450
Enough.
235
00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:50,610
What the...
236
00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:55,820
You get back here! He will shoot you!
237
00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,380
No!
238
00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:03,500
Did you turn Officer Pumpkinhead around and blow his cover?
239
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,110
I don't know. Why don't you ask him?
240
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:10,140
Aw, he only speaks in spooky laughs.
241
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:12,640
Don't.
242
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,740
You don't have the guts.
243
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,790
- You better run! - Ellie!
244
00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:29,050
You think you're safe.
245
00:10:29,050 --> 00:10:32,140
One of these rocks has a key in it.
246
00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:36,060
Shoot.
247
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,450
See, this was my boxer brief pose...
248
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,250
But if I was modeling racer briefs,
249
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,610
I'd just arch my back a little,
250
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,490
maybe pop the cheeks like so.
251
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,610
Miss those days.
252
00:10:49,610 --> 00:10:51,560
You and no one else on earth.
253
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,340
The male prisoners who keep my fan site active
254
00:10:54,340 --> 00:10:55,980
strongly disagree.
255
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:58,910
You know who looks great in his racer briefs...
256
00:10:59,330 --> 00:11:00,640
Probably?
257
00:11:00,690 --> 00:11:03,380
Wade, my army boyfriend,
258
00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:05,980
who is--fingers crossed--
259
00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:09,020
super dark black, blacker than space.
260
00:11:09,020 --> 00:11:10,830
That felt pretty racist.
261
00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:11,920
See, I still say no.
262
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,780
This is the best relationship I have ever been in.
263
00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:17,390
So we decided that
264
00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:18,900
if one of us meets someone who's super hot,
265
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,500
we're totally allowed to bang 'em--
266
00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:23,660
No mouth kissing, of course-- and it won't even touch us,
267
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:26,210
because our connection is that deep.
268
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:29,510
He even sent me a virtual promise ring.
269
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,760
What should I send him?
270
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:31,830
Your dignity?
271
00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:34,220
Oh! Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know.
272
00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:35,620
My social security number.
273
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:38,390
It is the ultimate display of online trust.
274
00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:40,400
"Send".
275
00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:48,150
Penny can
276
00:11:48,150 --> 00:11:49,700
Sig! Looks like you're good at something
277
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:52,230
other than not getting laid.
278
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,340
He's kidding, Siggy.
279
00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:56,630
Penny pickup!
280
00:11:57,740 --> 00:12:00,370
So your family just shows up whenever they feel like it?
281
00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:03,250
Yeah, that's pretty much how it works.
282
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:07,490
Hey, look, Trav, you know why we really came over.
283
00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:09,540
I want to ask out professor, uh...
284
00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:10,900
- LeClaire? - LeClaire.
285
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,220
Yeah, well, you and Professor LeClaire--
286
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:15,100
obviously super tight, but--
287
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,480
Now let me finish, all right? You come first.
288
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:18,850
She's your teacher, and you look up to her,
289
00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:19,910
and I don't wanna mess that up.
290
00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:20,940
So if you want me to back off,
291
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:22,440
you just say the word, and I'm...
292
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,370
Dad, if she met you,
293
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:24,840
she'd know right away that I was cheating.
294
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,240
Okay? But let's just forget about that for a second.
295
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,320
Good. Done.
296
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,240
Please don't date my teacher.
297
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,610
All right, copy that.
298
00:12:33,850 --> 00:12:34,940
Thank you.
299
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,120
What...
300
00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:43,240
Couldn't find a hose.
301
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,290
Oh, and by the way, while you were locked in my house,
302
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,610
I put up a new sign.
303
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,960
All right, can we please end this silly thing?
304
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:55,310
You win. You're the king of the neighborhood.
305
00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:56,830
Andy, please don't do that thing
306
00:12:56,830 --> 00:12:59,700
where you turn something small into something serious.
307
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,020
I'm begging you.
308
00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:03,910
I never get to be in charge of anything in my life!
309
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:04,660
And here we go.
310
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:06,690
At work, I have to do whatever my clients want,
311
00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:08,980
and who do you think is the boss of my home, me or Ellie?
312
00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:10,220
Who can really say?
313
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:11,370
This cul-de-sac is the one place
314
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,690
where I felt like I called the shots...
315
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,870
And you took that away from me.
316
00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:17,040
Andy, don't go.
317
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:17,840
Why?
318
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,680
Because I put Stan there.
319
00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:32,900
Oh, God. Not the sad sigh.
320
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,850
It's sexy on a man, isn't it?
321
00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:36,000
Come on. We're all the same.
322
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,020
None of us are in charge of anything.
323
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,060
You own a successful real estate company.
324
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,640
Oh, right. Yeah. Go, Jules.
325
00:13:42,870 --> 00:13:44,790
Sorry. What about Grayson?
326
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:46,610
He's not in control of anything.
327
00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:47,890
She's right.
328
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:49,120
Wait.
329
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,970
Hey! Everybody, out of my bar right now.
330
00:13:51,970 --> 00:13:54,180
I'm serious. Go. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
331
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,690
I'm so sorry. Come back. Sit down. Sit down.
332
00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:01,130
I'll just accept being the world's bitch.
333
00:14:04,670 --> 00:14:07,030
My heart feels like your sad face.
334
00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:09,470
And my face feels like your sad eyes.
335
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,980
Aw, poor "short and wide." I feel bad for him.
336
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:21,920
Oh, good god. Not another sad man sigh.
337
00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:23,890
Why is this one so down?
338
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,920
Let your dad ask out your teacher.
339
00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:29,650
What, you told on me?
340
00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:31,490
I did, and I'd do it again.
341
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,050
Hey. Sig. My mom's here now.
342
00:14:35,390 --> 00:14:36,400
Bye, Sig.
343
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,240
It's tough for your dad. He's lonely.
344
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,420
Plus he's got to find someone while he still has his looks.
345
00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:44,560
Cobbs do not age well.
346
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,800
After 50, it's like a rocket ship to dogville.
347
00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:48,520
What?
348
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,880
Relax, dude. I'm not a Cobb.
349
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:55,640
Look, I know you're just trying to be a good mom
350
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,090
by coming over here to convince me
351
00:14:57,090 --> 00:14:58,850
to let dad bang my photography teacher,
352
00:14:58,850 --> 00:15:01,090
But do you really think there's anything you can say
353
00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:03,160
that's gonna make me want that to happen?
354
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,390
When's the last time your dad liked someone?
355
00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:10,600
Is that what you do now when he says something almost smart?
356
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,120
You point at him like a dog?
357
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,190
Yeah. So what? He likes it.
358
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:15,530
I do.
359
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,850
Are you done with your funk, boo?
360
00:15:25,730 --> 00:15:27,140
Oh, brother.
361
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:29,770
He's starting to burrow.
362
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:31,390
So lame.
363
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,660
Oh, yeah. Don't let them bother you.
364
00:15:33,770 --> 00:15:35,750
So, um, do you think I should go see Andy?
365
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:38,360
Don't. He's just trying to manipulate you.
366
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,540
I don't agree.
367
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,250
Jules, if there's one thing that I've learned
368
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,570
in my relationship with Wade
369
00:15:43,570 --> 00:15:47,400
other than the fact that he is indeed black--he just told me.
370
00:15:47,410 --> 00:15:48,580
Congrats!
371
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:51,320
Thanks. I'm super happy about it.
372
00:15:51,490 --> 00:15:53,300
Anyway, earlier today,
373
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:56,240
I was trying to give my under-brows a little color
374
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,070
and I got some spray tan in my eye.
375
00:15:58,070 --> 00:16:00,120
Now granted, it was a little dumb.
376
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,320
You're not using the word "little" correctly.
377
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:05,270
Still... he picked me up,
378
00:16:05,270 --> 00:16:07,310
and maybe that's what you need to do for Andy.
379
00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:10,640
You know, pick him up, no matter how dumb he's being.
380
00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:14,950
Don't you dare take lessons from her and her fake relationship.
381
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,700
What? You don't know it's fake.
382
00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:18,990
- What's Wade's last name? - Dunno.
383
00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:20,010
- Where's he from? - Dunno.
384
00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:21,860
- Did you say "Dunno" Or "Doughnut"? - Dunno.
385
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:22,920
- What color are his eyes? - Dunno.
386
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,330
- Does he have eyes? - Dunno.
387
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,470
Jules, see, she d--
388
00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:28,110
Where did she go?
389
00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:29,330
Dunno.
390
00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:32,020
Andy?
391
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,040
Yeah?
392
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,650
I am so sorry.
393
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:38,800
I need your help with the bicycle boys.
394
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,790
I need you to rise up and be the king that we all need.
395
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:44,110
Like a...
396
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,040
Cul-de-sac Braveheart?
397
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,000
Okay. Let's go. Come on.
398
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:51,170
Look, I know the way I feel about this woman
399
00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:52,940
is classic idealization.
400
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,040
You surprised I know what idealization means?
401
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,980
- Absolutely, yeah. - Yeah.
402
00:16:57,980 --> 00:17:01,100
Me, too. I have no idea how it got in there.
403
00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:03,940
You know, I looked her name up in the college directory.
404
00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:05,390
It's Angie.
405
00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:06,370
Good name.
406
00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:08,630
Yeah. She's from France.
407
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:10,040
Better than Tampa.
408
00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:13,250
Bobby, if I can find Wade,
409
00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:15,310
you're gonna find someone great, too.
410
00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:16,430
You didn't find someone.
411
00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:18,750
You stripped online for a stranger.
412
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,180
That's not real.
413
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:21,380
Let's read your tweets with him
414
00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:23,640
from last night, shall we?
415
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,900
Go ahead.
416
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:27,140
Dime eyes? Read with me.
417
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:32,160
"What up? It's hot as ballensteins in flizorida."
418
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,320
"What, what!"
419
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,810
I'm reading Laurie, by the way.
420
00:17:34,810 --> 00:17:37,840
"I've got something to make you hotter right here."
421
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,720
Wow, this gets raunchy fast.
422
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,390
"I'm glad you're around tonight."
423
00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:43,750
"Me, too, said my lady parts."
424
00:17:43,750 --> 00:17:45,110
Girlfriend knows how to flirt.
425
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,500
"Where have you been? I missed you."
426
00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:51,310
"Yeah. Sorry. Some bad stuff went down, but I'm okay."
427
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,820
"You sound scared. If you want to talk, I'm here."
428
00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:58,350
"Thanks. Hey, if I'm not here tomorrow, just know that
429
00:17:58,350 --> 00:18:01,310
tweeting with you was all I looked forward to today."
430
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:05,660
"Me, too. What, what?"
431
00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:11,300
You can say it.
432
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:14,740
You and Wade-- you're just so good together.
433
00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:17,440
He finally sent me a real pic. You want to see?
434
00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:23,740
He looks sweet. He's naked, but still sweet.
435
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,810
All those that live in this cul-de-sac, join me now.
436
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:44,850
What's with the face paint?
437
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,530
He's doing "Braveheart."
438
00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:47,650
I did it with lipstick.
439
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,520
Sons of Scotland...
440
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,170
Oh, my god. He's on a horse.
441
00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:53,050
Is "Braveheart" a movie?
442
00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:55,220
He's a, uh, famous Indian chief.
443
00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:56,550
I knew it!
444
00:18:57,130 --> 00:18:59,640
We've come to fight in defiance of tyranny,
445
00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:03,180
and dying in your beds many years from now,
446
00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:05,580
Would you be willing to trade
447
00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:09,410
all the days from this day to that
448
00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:12,620
for one chance, just one chance,
449
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,330
to come back here and tell our enemies
450
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:18,690
that they may take our lives,
451
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,580
but they will never take...
452
00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:22,540
our freedom!
453
00:19:28,370 --> 00:19:30,270
Hold...
454
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,440
Hold...
455
00:19:36,070 --> 00:19:37,540
Hold...
456
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:40,990
Now! Sand trap!
457
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:47,590
Thanks, Mike.
458
00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:52,040
Well, even though Jimmy dislocated his ring finger,
459
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,700
we are not liable, because he was trespassing.
460
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,430
Oh. Yes!
461
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,240
Thanks for letting me have this, Jules.
462
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,040
We are so happy that you are king of the neighborhood.
463
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,060
Really, guys?
464
00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:03,750
Yes! Yes.
465
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:04,560
Yeah.
466
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,660
Thanks. Hey, while we're still here,
467
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:09,070
we should only water our lawns at night,
468
00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:10,720
because it's better for the environment.
469
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:11,950
No.
470
00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:12,900
Unh-unh. That's stupid. No. Can't.
471
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,230
Can't. Mnh-mnh.
472
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,130
Eh, okay.
473
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,360
Come here.
474
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,620
I'm psyched you wanted to grab lunch.
475
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,590
I'm a hole-punch away from a free meatball.
476
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,040
Actually, I can't.
477
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,170
Why didn't you tell me? I drove all the way up here.
478
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:27,160
Hey. Professor LeClaire.
479
00:20:27,830 --> 00:20:28,990
Hey, Travis.
480
00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:32,420
Professor LeClaire, This is... my Dad.
481
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:36,890
He's the fisherman in my pictures, which I faked,
482
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,640
and I'm sorry.
483
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,860
It's just the helmet sort of prevented me from taking--
484
00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:43,500
And you're not listening. Anyway, I just...
485
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,530
really wanted you two to meet, so...
486
00:20:54,570 --> 00:20:55,770
Hi.
487
00:20:56,570 --> 00:20:57,800
Hi.
488
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:05,460
King Andy got your fountain back
489
00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:07,160
from those mean bicycle boys.
490
00:21:08,410 --> 00:21:10,450
Ah. Let there be wine.
491
00:21:11,390 --> 00:21:12,780
Y-you've put wine in my fountain?
492
00:21:12,780 --> 00:21:14,100
You're welcome.
493
00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:16,280
It looks like a fountain of blood.
494
00:21:16,510 --> 00:21:18,140
People are gonna think I'm creepy.
495
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:20,690
I think the ship has sailed on that one, big guy.
496
00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:23,250
Gonna be here a while. Might as well get comfy.
497
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,200
You guys know I own a bar, right?
498
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,370
Yeah.
499
00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:31,080
Cheers.
35156
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.