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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,240 What is up with the cop uniform? 2 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,540 Aw, this is from when Grayson proposed to me, 3 00:00:06,630 --> 00:00:08,630 but lately, we've been using it for, 4 00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:10,110 well, you know how we do. 5 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,570 Role playas. 6 00:00:12,910 --> 00:00:14,650 You have the right to remain naked. 7 00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:17,950 How would you like it if we talked about our sex life all the time? 8 00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:20,060 - Oh, come on. - No. Don't. No, no, no. 9 00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:22,720 Great. They're grossed out by the thought of us naked. 10 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:23,850 Not us, my friend. 11 00:00:34,190 --> 00:00:35,370 Newspaper jinx! 12 00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:38,830 I win. Come on, guys. Hand 'em over. 13 00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:42,710 Sweet, triple coupons. 14 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:43,840 Tom, do you think you could 15 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,500 turn that new fountain off every once in a while? 16 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:47,530 Why? 17 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:49,030 I sleep with my windows open, 18 00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:51,110 and it just makes me have to pee constantly. 19 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:57,770 What just happened? Was that magic? 20 00:00:57,770 --> 00:00:59,570 It's the damn bicycle boys. 21 00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:01,560 They found a shortcut to the new mall. 22 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:02,620 What new mall? 23 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,330 They built it right behind our neighborhood. 24 00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,900 You signed my petition trying to stop it, remember? 25 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,650 No. 26 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,950 The bicycle boys are bad news, Jules. 27 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,090 They--They write "don't" on the stop signs. 28 00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:14,490 They call anyone over 20 "grandpa". 29 00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:18,300 They... made my garden gnomes gay. 30 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:21,440 Actually, that was me, Tom, 31 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,070 but those bicycle boys-- 32 00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:25,490 they picked the wrong cul-de-sac. 33 00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,610 - Duck! - What? 34 00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:34,840 A new mall? That's horrible. 35 00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:36,580 Do they have hot dogs on a stick? 36 00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:39,530 No! We are against the new mall, even though 37 00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,620 they have an awesome men's store called "Short And Wide". 38 00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,280 I believe we just found your new nickname. 39 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,550 Fine, but I will still gladly take on 40 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,660 the burden of handling the bicycle boys. 41 00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:51,010 Short and wide fancies himself the protector of the neighborhood. 42 00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:52,690 I'm more like the king. 43 00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:54,220 I do everything around here. 44 00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,620 No, you don't. 45 00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:57,570 Who got us all new recycling bins? 46 00:01:57,570 --> 00:01:59,820 Who writes the Cul-de-sac's Weekly newsletter? 47 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,280 Who got the permits so Tom could put up his fountain? 48 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,130 That thing undid six months of potty training for Stan. 49 00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:08,270 Andy, you're talking about manual labor. 50 00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:12,350 Kings didn't build the pyramids. Slaves did. 51 00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:14,320 Or aliens. 52 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,680 You know, I wine-watched a documentary last night, 53 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,000 and it's all a little fuzzy. 54 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,160 Come back, sweetie. Bring your point with you. 55 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,110 Sorry. 56 00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:22,590 I am the king of the neighborhood, 57 00:02:22,590 --> 00:02:24,580 because I take care of the people. 58 00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:26,530 Who saved the Goldsteins' marriage? 59 00:02:26,990 --> 00:02:29,580 Who stopped Mrs. Rose from her suicide attempt? 60 00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:31,380 She was gonna jump off her shed. 61 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:33,450 She was holding scissors. 62 00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:36,300 Okay. Let's take it to a vote. 63 00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:39,820 Okay, all that think Andy is king of the neighborhood, 64 00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:41,360 raise your hand. 65 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,940 Grayson, count those. 66 00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:45,250 Give me a sec. 67 00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:47,760 Zero. 68 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,750 And those who think I am king. 69 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,950 All hail King Jules. 70 00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:54,470 Come on! 71 00:02:54,470 --> 00:02:56,070 Bye, S.W. 72 00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:02,720 Okay, dad, stop posing. 73 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,020 The assignment is to take a picture of a stranger 74 00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:07,190 working in his natural environment. 75 00:03:07,190 --> 00:03:08,820 You're not supposed to know you're being photographed. 76 00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:10,240 I see the camera right there. 77 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:11,580 I see your dilemma. 78 00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:12,720 Can I wear the pirate hat? 79 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:13,980 No pirate hat. 80 00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:15,750 This is gonna be a boring picture. 81 00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:18,700 Crazy idea--instead of cheating on your assignment, 82 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,930 how about--get this-- not cheating? 83 00:03:20,930 --> 00:03:23,820 Yeah, that's not really an option with the old, uh... 84 00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:25,560 skull fracture. 85 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,980 You want to see what happens when you try to take 86 00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:30,050 secret shots of strangers while wearing a helmet? 87 00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,430 "Daddy, look!" 88 00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:33,030 "It's Dork Vader." 89 00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:34,040 "It's Dork Vader." 90 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,140 I got that one a lot. 91 00:03:35,140 --> 00:03:36,640 Okay, here. Bobby. 92 00:03:36,810 --> 00:03:38,880 Go like this. Purse your lips a little, like... 93 00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:41,980 What? It's--It's what we did 94 00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:44,390 when I was an underwear model for Montgomery Ward. 95 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,570 You just tried to slip that one in there, didn't ya? 96 00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:49,150 There are two types of underwear models-- 97 00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:51,810 front guys and butt guys. I was both. 98 00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:54,660 He said proudly. All right. Dad. 99 00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:57,660 Grayson in bikini briefs-- think about it. 100 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,280 Whoa, it's not a sad thing. 101 00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:04,150 Laurie, why are you texting me? 102 00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:06,360 And you sent me a nude picture of yourself? 103 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,510 You just got photo bombebe 104 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,470 Check out your downstairs. 105 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,140 Someone's an artist. 106 00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,840 - Thank you. - Dear god, jelly bean. 107 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,580 Why would you risk having a picture like this get out? 108 00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:20,550 What risk? 109 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:23,990 The whole world saw paris Hilton's Berts and Ernie, 110 00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:25,480 And now she's rich. 111 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,670 Yeah, and now she's rich. 112 00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:29,900 Jules put naked pictures of herself online. 113 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,210 That was an accident. 114 00:04:31,210 --> 00:04:32,920 Apparently, anyone can call themselves 115 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,120 an "online dermatologist". 116 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,340 Now I have Ellie check my downstairs moles. 117 00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:39,120 Nothing good comes out of 118 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,820 letting nude pictures of yourself out in the world. 119 00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:44,960 You are so wrong, and I'm going to prove it. 120 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,700 There's this army guy in Afghanistan 121 00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:47,580 that I met on Twitter. 122 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,020 He's been asking for a skin pic, 123 00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:51,350 and now I am about to oblige. 124 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:52,720 "Send". 125 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,690 Don't worry. I kept it classy. 126 00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:57,240 Covered up my Berts. 127 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,740 Single-nerped him. Just a peek. 128 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,160 You're a dummy. 129 00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:05,040 It's amazing you got this from a stranger. 130 00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:08,510 The sea has taken so much from him, and yet... 131 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:11,910 it's all he has. 132 00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:13,260 Do you really think so? 133 00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:15,150 No. Head of my department was walking by. 134 00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:16,520 I wanted to sound smart. 135 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,910 Oh, come on. Don't go sensitive artist on me. 136 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,370 Look at me. 137 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,530 Wow, it is not easy to have an honest moment 138 00:05:24,530 --> 00:05:25,330 with a kid wearing a helmet. 139 00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:27,130 Um, I'll push through. 140 00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,750 Okay, so usually when I tell students their work moves me, 141 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:30,990 I'm lying to spare their feelings. 142 00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:33,090 There's a lot of criers at this school. 143 00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:35,950 But your work does move me. 144 00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:38,740 Thanks. 145 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:44,810 Professor LeClaire? 146 00:05:45,130 --> 00:05:47,000 Everyone hates my photo essay. 147 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,420 Oh, Franklin, no, no, no. It's wonderful. 148 00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:51,950 It's not. It's bad. 149 00:05:58,990 --> 00:05:59,490 Hey, Sig. 150 00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:01,540 You know that dream when you're falling and you won't stop? 151 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:03,850 I kind of feel like that all the time now. 152 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,240 Why is that, Helmet? 153 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,740 For starters, people call me "Helmet". 154 00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:10,180 Also, I'm cheating in my favorite class with the only teacher 155 00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:12,150 who has ever believed in my talent as an artist. 156 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,200 I'm not sure how it could get much worse. 157 00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:16,300 Trav. 158 00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:18,160 I'm in love with that gal. 159 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,110 There it is. 160 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,810 Well, you fancy yourself the king of the people. 161 00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:30,820 So go ahead. Handle it. 162 00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:33,040 I will. Hey, guys. 163 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,190 Guys. 164 00:06:35,450 --> 00:06:37,050 Those are cool bikes. 165 00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:39,580 You know, when I was a kid, I had a Huffy. 166 00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:42,340 Her name was "Sparkly Thunder". 167 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,820 Anyway, instead of going through our yards... 168 00:06:48,380 --> 00:06:49,460 What are you doing? 169 00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:51,300 Oh, well, that's cute. 170 00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:54,040 Well, I'll just wait here till you get bored. 171 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,540 Got all day. 172 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,950 Stupid fountain. Do you really want to see 173 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,820 a middle-aged woman pee right here in the street? 174 00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:06,760 Yeah. I-I'd want to see that, too. 175 00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:15,670 - I call bathroom. - I call window. 176 00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:17,820 Fine. I'll go downstairs. 177 00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:24,650 That's it. This ends now. 178 00:07:25,870 --> 00:07:27,980 The bicycle boys stole my fountain. 179 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,260 No. 180 00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:30,760 - Come on! - Damn them! 181 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,040 Oh! I am sorry for your loss, Tom. 182 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,270 You're a good friend. 183 00:07:35,270 --> 00:07:36,580 I really am. 184 00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:40,890 Now let me say what we're all thinking. 185 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,280 Wine fountain. 186 00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,740 Okay, we have to do that. 187 00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:46,180 Agreed, but first I need help 188 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,590 figuring out what to do with the bicycle boys. 189 00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:50,420 - You know, you could always-- - I'm sorry. 190 00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:53,050 I almost forgot-- I already fixed it. 191 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,500 Meet Officer Pumpkinhead. 192 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,810 Those boys will see him, 193 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,950 think the place is crawling with 5-0, and move along. 194 00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:01,580 There's no way this works. 195 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:11,100 Wait. I want to say it with you. 196 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,480 Come on! 197 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,300 Guess what? 198 00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:17,290 No, thanks. 199 00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:20,130 The army guy and I stayed up all night tweeting, 200 00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:23,600 and now we're dating. It's actually pretty serious. 201 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,410 It's healthy when things move that fast. 202 00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:26,970 I told you good things would come 203 00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:28,680 from sending naked pictures. 204 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,620 You're fake-dating someone you've never met, 205 00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,440 who may or may not be in the army, 206 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,690 who may or may not be a man, 207 00:08:35,690 --> 00:08:38,710 and who may or may not slice you from nose to navel 208 00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:40,230 when you finally meet. 209 00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:42,380 I wonder what he looks like. 210 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,220 I hope if he's black, he's super black. 211 00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:49,390 Dark black is hot. Is that racist? 212 00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:55,600 No, but it makes us uncomfortable. 213 00:08:55,610 --> 00:08:56,780 Okay. 214 00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:57,950 Dad, come on. 215 00:08:57,950 --> 00:09:00,220 You're being even more ridiculous than normal. 216 00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:01,380 Is that even possible? 217 00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:02,730 Well, he's just mad because 218 00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:04,330 I'm in love with a gal I've never even met. 219 00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:07,780 No way! I'm in love with a dude I've never met. No look! 220 00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:09,520 Maybe looking is important. 221 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,000 I only saw her for a second, 222 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,370 but man, my heart raced, time stopped. 223 00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:15,590 Fireworks? 224 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,010 I mean, haven't you guys ever felt 225 00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:19,770 an instant connection with someone you just met? 226 00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:21,010 - Never. - Once. 227 00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:22,210 Several times a week. 228 00:09:22,210 --> 00:09:24,630 And only Ellie is correct. 229 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,500 There is no such thing as love at first sight. 230 00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:30,000 Professor LeClaire-- 231 00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:33,650 Just give me a sec. I mean, look at him. 232 00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,190 Yeah, I'm good. 233 00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,070 You don't speak French, do you? 234 00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:44,450 Enough. 235 00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:50,610 What the... 236 00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:55,820 You get back here! He will shoot you! 237 00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,380 No! 238 00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:03,500 Did you turn Officer Pumpkinhead around and blow his cover? 239 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,110 I don't know. Why don't you ask him? 240 00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:10,140 Aw, he only speaks in spooky laughs. 241 00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:12,640 Don't. 242 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,740 You don't have the guts. 243 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,790 - You better run! - Ellie! 244 00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:29,050 You think you're safe. 245 00:10:29,050 --> 00:10:32,140 One of these rocks has a key in it. 246 00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:36,060 Shoot. 247 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,450 See, this was my boxer brief pose... 248 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,250 But if I was modeling racer briefs, 249 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,610 I'd just arch my back a little, 250 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,490 maybe pop the cheeks like so. 251 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,610 Miss those days. 252 00:10:49,610 --> 00:10:51,560 You and no one else on earth. 253 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,340 The male prisoners who keep my fan site active 254 00:10:54,340 --> 00:10:55,980 strongly disagree. 255 00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:58,910 You know who looks great in his racer briefs... 256 00:10:59,330 --> 00:11:00,640 Probably? 257 00:11:00,690 --> 00:11:03,380 Wade, my army boyfriend, 258 00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:05,980 who is--fingers crossed-- 259 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:09,020 super dark black, blacker than space. 260 00:11:09,020 --> 00:11:10,830 That felt pretty racist. 261 00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:11,920 See, I still say no. 262 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,780 This is the best relationship I have ever been in. 263 00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:17,390 So we decided that 264 00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:18,900 if one of us meets someone who's super hot, 265 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,500 we're totally allowed to bang 'em-- 266 00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:23,660 No mouth kissing, of course-- and it won't even touch us, 267 00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:26,210 because our connection is that deep. 268 00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:29,510 He even sent me a virtual promise ring. 269 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,760 What should I send him? 270 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:31,830 Your dignity? 271 00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:34,220 Oh! Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know. 272 00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:35,620 My social security number. 273 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:38,390 It is the ultimate display of online trust. 274 00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:40,400 "Send". 275 00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:48,150 Penny can 276 00:11:48,150 --> 00:11:49,700 Sig! Looks like you're good at something 277 00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:52,230 other than not getting laid. 278 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,340 He's kidding, Siggy. 279 00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:56,630 Penny pickup! 280 00:11:57,740 --> 00:12:00,370 So your family just shows up whenever they feel like it? 281 00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:03,250 Yeah, that's pretty much how it works. 282 00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:07,490 Hey, look, Trav, you know why we really came over. 283 00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:09,540 I want to ask out professor, uh... 284 00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:10,900 - LeClaire? - LeClaire. 285 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,220 Yeah, well, you and Professor LeClaire-- 286 00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:15,100 obviously super tight, but-- 287 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,480 Now let me finish, all right? You come first. 288 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:18,850 She's your teacher, and you look up to her, 289 00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:19,910 and I don't wanna mess that up. 290 00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:20,940 So if you want me to back off, 291 00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:22,440 you just say the word, and I'm... 292 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,370 Dad, if she met you, 293 00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:24,840 she'd know right away that I was cheating. 294 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,240 Okay? But let's just forget about that for a second. 295 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,320 Good. Done. 296 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,240 Please don't date my teacher. 297 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,610 All right, copy that. 298 00:12:33,850 --> 00:12:34,940 Thank you. 299 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,120 What... 300 00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:43,240 Couldn't find a hose. 301 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,290 Oh, and by the way, while you were locked in my house, 302 00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,610 I put up a new sign. 303 00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,960 All right, can we please end this silly thing? 304 00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:55,310 You win. You're the king of the neighborhood. 305 00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:56,830 Andy, please don't do that thing 306 00:12:56,830 --> 00:12:59,700 where you turn something small into something serious. 307 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,020 I'm begging you. 308 00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:03,910 I never get to be in charge of anything in my life! 309 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:04,660 And here we go. 310 00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:06,690 At work, I have to do whatever my clients want, 311 00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:08,980 and who do you think is the boss of my home, me or Ellie? 312 00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:10,220 Who can really say? 313 00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:11,370 This cul-de-sac is the one place 314 00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,690 where I felt like I called the shots... 315 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,870 And you took that away from me. 316 00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:17,040 Andy, don't go. 317 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:17,840 Why? 318 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,680 Because I put Stan there. 319 00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:32,900 Oh, God. Not the sad sigh. 320 00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,850 It's sexy on a man, isn't it? 321 00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:36,000 Come on. We're all the same. 322 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,020 None of us are in charge of anything. 323 00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:40,060 You own a successful real estate company. 324 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,640 Oh, right. Yeah. Go, Jules. 325 00:13:42,870 --> 00:13:44,790 Sorry. What about Grayson? 326 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:46,610 He's not in control of anything. 327 00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:47,890 She's right. 328 00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:49,120 Wait. 329 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,970 Hey! Everybody, out of my bar right now. 330 00:13:51,970 --> 00:13:54,180 I'm serious. Go. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 331 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,690 I'm so sorry. Come back. Sit down. Sit down. 332 00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:01,130 I'll just accept being the world's bitch. 333 00:14:04,670 --> 00:14:07,030 My heart feels like your sad face. 334 00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:09,470 And my face feels like your sad eyes. 335 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,980 Aw, poor "short and wide." I feel bad for him. 336 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:21,920 Oh, good god. Not another sad man sigh. 337 00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:23,890 Why is this one so down? 338 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,920 Let your dad ask out your teacher. 339 00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:29,650 What, you told on me? 340 00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:31,490 I did, and I'd do it again. 341 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,050 Hey. Sig. My mom's here now. 342 00:14:35,390 --> 00:14:36,400 Bye, Sig. 343 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,240 It's tough for your dad. He's lonely. 344 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,420 Plus he's got to find someone while he still has his looks. 345 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:44,560 Cobbs do not age well. 346 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,800 After 50, it's like a rocket ship to dogville. 347 00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:48,520 What? 348 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,880 Relax, dude. I'm not a Cobb. 349 00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:55,640 Look, I know you're just trying to be a good mom 350 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,090 by coming over here to convince me 351 00:14:57,090 --> 00:14:58,850 to let dad bang my photography teacher, 352 00:14:58,850 --> 00:15:01,090 But do you really think there's anything you can say 353 00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:03,160 that's gonna make me want that to happen? 354 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,390 When's the last time your dad liked someone? 355 00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:10,600 Is that what you do now when he says something almost smart? 356 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,120 You point at him like a dog? 357 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,190 Yeah. So what? He likes it. 358 00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:15,530 I do. 359 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,850 Are you done with your funk, boo? 360 00:15:25,730 --> 00:15:27,140 Oh, brother. 361 00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:29,770 He's starting to burrow. 362 00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:31,390 So lame. 363 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,660 Oh, yeah. Don't let them bother you. 364 00:15:33,770 --> 00:15:35,750 So, um, do you think I should go see Andy? 365 00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:38,360 Don't. He's just trying to manipulate you. 366 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,540 I don't agree. 367 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,250 Jules, if there's one thing that I've learned 368 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,570 in my relationship with Wade 369 00:15:43,570 --> 00:15:47,400 other than the fact that he is indeed black--he just told me. 370 00:15:47,410 --> 00:15:48,580 Congrats! 371 00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:51,320 Thanks. I'm super happy about it. 372 00:15:51,490 --> 00:15:53,300 Anyway, earlier today, 373 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:56,240 I was trying to give my under-brows a little color 374 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,070 and I got some spray tan in my eye. 375 00:15:58,070 --> 00:16:00,120 Now granted, it was a little dumb. 376 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,320 You're not using the word "little" correctly. 377 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:05,270 Still... he picked me up, 378 00:16:05,270 --> 00:16:07,310 and maybe that's what you need to do for Andy. 379 00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:10,640 You know, pick him up, no matter how dumb he's being. 380 00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:14,950 Don't you dare take lessons from her and her fake relationship. 381 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,700 What? You don't know it's fake. 382 00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:18,990 - What's Wade's last name? - Dunno. 383 00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:20,010 - Where's he from? - Dunno. 384 00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:21,860 - Did you say "Dunno" Or "Doughnut"? - Dunno. 385 00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:22,920 - What color are his eyes? - Dunno. 386 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,330 - Does he have eyes? - Dunno. 387 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,470 Jules, see, she d-- 388 00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:28,110 Where did she go? 389 00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:29,330 Dunno. 390 00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:32,020 Andy? 391 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,040 Yeah? 392 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,650 I am so sorry. 393 00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:38,800 I need your help with the bicycle boys. 394 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,790 I need you to rise up and be the king that we all need. 395 00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:44,110 Like a... 396 00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,040 Cul-de-sac Braveheart? 397 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,000 Okay. Let's go. Come on. 398 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:51,170 Look, I know the way I feel about this woman 399 00:16:51,170 --> 00:16:52,940 is classic idealization. 400 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,040 You surprised I know what idealization means? 401 00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,980 - Absolutely, yeah. - Yeah. 402 00:16:57,980 --> 00:17:01,100 Me, too. I have no idea how it got in there. 403 00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:03,940 You know, I looked her name up in the college directory. 404 00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:05,390 It's Angie. 405 00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:06,370 Good name. 406 00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:08,630 Yeah. She's from France. 407 00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:10,040 Better than Tampa. 408 00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:13,250 Bobby, if I can find Wade, 409 00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:15,310 you're gonna find someone great, too. 410 00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:16,430 You didn't find someone. 411 00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:18,750 You stripped online for a stranger. 412 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,180 That's not real. 413 00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:21,380 Let's read your tweets with him 414 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:23,640 from last night, shall we? 415 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,900 Go ahead. 416 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:27,140 Dime eyes? Read with me. 417 00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:32,160 "What up? It's hot as ballensteins in flizorida." 418 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,320 "What, what!" 419 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,810 I'm reading Laurie, by the way. 420 00:17:34,810 --> 00:17:37,840 "I've got something to make you hotter right here." 421 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,720 Wow, this gets raunchy fast. 422 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,390 "I'm glad you're around tonight." 423 00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:43,750 "Me, too, said my lady parts." 424 00:17:43,750 --> 00:17:45,110 Girlfriend knows how to flirt. 425 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,500 "Where have you been? I missed you." 426 00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:51,310 "Yeah. Sorry. Some bad stuff went down, but I'm okay." 427 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,820 "You sound scared. If you want to talk, I'm here." 428 00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:58,350 "Thanks. Hey, if I'm not here tomorrow, just know that 429 00:17:58,350 --> 00:18:01,310 tweeting with you was all I looked forward to today." 430 00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:05,660 "Me, too. What, what?" 431 00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:11,300 You can say it. 432 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:14,740 You and Wade-- you're just so good together. 433 00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:17,440 He finally sent me a real pic. You want to see? 434 00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:23,740 He looks sweet. He's naked, but still sweet. 435 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,810 All those that live in this cul-de-sac, join me now. 436 00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:44,850 What's with the face paint? 437 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,530 He's doing "Braveheart." 438 00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:47,650 I did it with lipstick. 439 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,520 Sons of Scotland... 440 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,170 Oh, my god. He's on a horse. 441 00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:53,050 Is "Braveheart" a movie? 442 00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:55,220 He's a, uh, famous Indian chief. 443 00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:56,550 I knew it! 444 00:18:57,130 --> 00:18:59,640 We've come to fight in defiance of tyranny, 445 00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:03,180 and dying in your beds many years from now, 446 00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:05,580 Would you be willing to trade 447 00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:09,410 all the days from this day to that 448 00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:12,620 for one chance, just one chance, 449 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,330 to come back here and tell our enemies 450 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:18,690 that they may take our lives, 451 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,580 but they will never take... 452 00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:22,540 our freedom! 453 00:19:28,370 --> 00:19:30,270 Hold... 454 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,440 Hold... 455 00:19:36,070 --> 00:19:37,540 Hold... 456 00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:40,990 Now! Sand trap! 457 00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:47,590 Thanks, Mike. 458 00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:52,040 Well, even though Jimmy dislocated his ring finger, 459 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,700 we are not liable, because he was trespassing. 460 00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,430 Oh. Yes! 461 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,240 Thanks for letting me have this, Jules. 462 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,040 We are so happy that you are king of the neighborhood. 463 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,060 Really, guys? 464 00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:03,750 Yes! Yes. 465 00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:04,560 Yeah. 466 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,660 Thanks. Hey, while we're still here, 467 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:09,070 we should only water our lawns at night, 468 00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:10,720 because it's better for the environment. 469 00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:11,950 No. 470 00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:12,900 Unh-unh. That's stupid. No. Can't. 471 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,230 Can't. Mnh-mnh. 472 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,130 Eh, okay. 473 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,360 Come here. 474 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,620 I'm psyched you wanted to grab lunch. 475 00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,590 I'm a hole-punch away from a free meatball. 476 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,040 Actually, I can't. 477 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,170 Why didn't you tell me? I drove all the way up here. 478 00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:27,160 Hey. Professor LeClaire. 479 00:20:27,830 --> 00:20:28,990 Hey, Travis. 480 00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:32,420 Professor LeClaire, This is... my Dad. 481 00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:36,890 He's the fisherman in my pictures, which I faked, 482 00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,640 and I'm sorry. 483 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,860 It's just the helmet sort of prevented me from taking-- 484 00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:43,500 And you're not listening. Anyway, I just... 485 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,530 really wanted you two to meet, so... 486 00:20:54,570 --> 00:20:55,770 Hi. 487 00:20:56,570 --> 00:20:57,800 Hi. 488 00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:05,460 King Andy got your fountain back 489 00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:07,160 from those mean bicycle boys. 490 00:21:08,410 --> 00:21:10,450 Ah. Let there be wine. 491 00:21:11,390 --> 00:21:12,780 Y-you've put wine in my fountain? 492 00:21:12,780 --> 00:21:14,100 You're welcome. 493 00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:16,280 It looks like a fountain of blood. 494 00:21:16,510 --> 00:21:18,140 People are gonna think I'm creepy. 495 00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:20,690 I think the ship has sailed on that one, big guy. 496 00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:23,250 Gonna be here a while. Might as well get comfy. 497 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,200 You guys know I own a bar, right? 498 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,370 Yeah. 499 00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:31,080 Cheers. 35156

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