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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,812 Hello? Hello? 2 00:00:02,820 --> 00:00:05,096 Not now, Tom. Can't really talk. 3 00:00:05,097 --> 00:00:06,953 I've got a family dinner tonight. 4 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,421 You'd understand if you had kids. 5 00:00:09,422 --> 00:00:12,319 My son Bryce is a marine, and Haylee's in law school. 6 00:00:12,489 --> 00:00:13,784 We've been neighbors for 12 years. 7 00:00:13,785 --> 00:00:15,103 Do you even know me? 8 00:00:15,104 --> 00:00:17,456 You know, this conversation isn't really gonna go well for me, 9 00:00:17,457 --> 00:00:19,540 so I'm just gonna give you a blanket "sorry," 10 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,003 but please thank Bryan for his service to our country. 11 00:00:22,004 --> 00:00:23,574 Bryce. Bryce. 12 00:00:27,845 --> 00:00:29,829 Ah, it's nice to see you two bonding. 13 00:00:30,977 --> 00:00:32,896 I wanted this to be a nice family dinner. 14 00:00:32,897 --> 00:00:34,108 No one could set the table? 15 00:00:34,109 --> 00:00:36,795 We should just eat caveman style. No dishes to clean. 16 00:00:36,796 --> 00:00:38,061 Get the shades. 17 00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:45,280 Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Give me some of that. 18 00:00:45,281 --> 00:00:47,504 Did you at least wash your hands? 19 00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:49,328 Oh, the Queen of England 20 00:00:49,329 --> 00:00:50,948 wants to know if our hands are clean. 21 00:00:50,949 --> 00:00:52,927 Shut your face. You shut your face. 22 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,545 Now it's a family dinner. 23 00:01:01,057 --> 00:01:02,636 Come on, dig in, prissy pants. 24 00:01:02,637 --> 00:01:04,028 I'm on a tight schedule. 25 00:01:04,213 --> 00:01:05,408 Ellie and Laurie are coming over 26 00:01:05,409 --> 00:01:07,397 to work on our guest list for our wedding. 27 00:01:07,398 --> 00:01:09,284 I thought we were gonna hang out tonight. 28 00:01:09,285 --> 00:01:10,452 I mean, ever since we got engaged, 29 00:01:10,453 --> 00:01:12,289 you're so busy with wedding stuff. 30 00:01:12,290 --> 00:01:13,634 You want to help out a little? 31 00:01:14,072 --> 00:01:15,418 Pass the potatoes? 32 00:01:16,088 --> 00:01:18,556 Ah, attaboy. Gravy chaser? 33 00:01:18,557 --> 00:01:19,348 Mm. 34 00:01:19,349 --> 00:01:21,077 Mm. Oh, yeah. 35 00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:23,325 Oh, Trav, honey, you look so tired. 36 00:01:23,346 --> 00:01:24,680 If you're gonna drive back to school tonight, 37 00:01:24,681 --> 00:01:26,793 you're gonna have to drink a lot of caffeine. 38 00:01:26,852 --> 00:01:28,737 I'll give you some sleeping pills to bring you down. 39 00:01:28,738 --> 00:01:31,789 Well, as much as I appreciate the incredibly unhealthy advice, 40 00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:34,456 I'm almost 20. Don't need to worry about me. 41 00:01:34,457 --> 00:01:36,270 Oh, okay. I'll stop. 42 00:01:36,271 --> 00:01:38,880 I mean, you're the one getting married to royalty. 43 00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:41,792 You should just be all wedding, all the time. 44 00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:45,073 All wedding, all the time-- I like it, yeah. 45 00:01:45,098 --> 00:01:52,298 Sync by YYeTs.net Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 46 00:01:52,849 --> 00:01:54,145 Don't look at me. 47 00:01:54,745 --> 00:01:57,165 I would totally date a guy with no feet. 48 00:01:57,166 --> 00:01:59,682 It would just be one less gross thing for me to deal with. 49 00:02:00,048 --> 00:02:01,811 Are you trying to tell me I shouldn't wear flip-flops? 50 00:02:01,812 --> 00:02:04,613 No. Oh, God, yes. 51 00:02:04,961 --> 00:02:06,977 They're all big toes. 52 00:02:07,747 --> 00:02:11,011 Whoo! You got dominated, buddy! 53 00:02:13,844 --> 00:02:15,372 This is just our new game. You know, 54 00:02:15,373 --> 00:02:17,640 if someone's not looking, you peg 'em with this ball, 55 00:02:17,641 --> 00:02:19,431 thus establishing dominance. 56 00:02:19,432 --> 00:02:20,936 We call it dominance ball. 57 00:02:20,937 --> 00:02:23,876 If anyone hits me with a ball, 58 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:25,729 it will end up inside of them. 59 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,990 Don't worry. D-ball's just for dudes. 60 00:02:27,991 --> 00:02:29,579 Nothing's just for dudes anymore-- 61 00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:33,049 not NASCAR, not cigars, not even peeing standing up. 62 00:02:34,536 --> 00:02:35,687 How did we lose that? 63 00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:36,953 Mm-mm. 64 00:02:38,681 --> 00:02:40,586 Why are you guys in my house? 65 00:02:40,587 --> 00:02:42,775 Sorry, Jules is out of wine. Oh, and pickles. 66 00:02:42,776 --> 00:02:46,021 Oh, and D batteries for my boom box. 67 00:02:46,022 --> 00:02:49,589 Ellie... I saw Andy's feet. 68 00:02:50,105 --> 00:02:51,753 I'm so sorry. 69 00:02:52,117 --> 00:02:53,295 No one understands. 70 00:02:53,296 --> 00:02:54,633 Oh, gosh. 71 00:02:54,977 --> 00:02:56,889 They're as wide as they are long. 72 00:02:56,890 --> 00:02:58,713 I know. 73 00:02:58,813 --> 00:03:00,044 It's... 74 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,765 There's my girl. I need a kiss. 75 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,029 You'll live. 76 00:03:05,541 --> 00:03:07,061 Love you! 77 00:03:07,364 --> 00:03:08,877 You just got iced, son. 78 00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:11,219 I worship Ellie even when she is a little distant. 79 00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:14,431 Besides, if I need affection, there are places 80 00:03:14,432 --> 00:03:17,392 to get my needs met outside the marriage. 81 00:03:17,502 --> 00:03:19,069 Know what I mean? 82 00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:22,937 Dog park, baby! 83 00:03:23,545 --> 00:03:25,805 Oh, I love you! Oh, yes! 84 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,379 Oh, that's what I need! 85 00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:28,917 Oh, that tickles! 86 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,588 I am married! Don't you see this ring? 87 00:03:32,226 --> 00:03:33,585 You've been pretty quiet. 88 00:03:34,253 --> 00:03:37,277 Mm, I'm not really ready to talk yet. 89 00:03:38,558 --> 00:03:40,393 Are you ready to be dominated? 90 00:03:41,925 --> 00:03:45,024 Whoo! Domination! 91 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,769 I do love this game. 92 00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,456 Hey, son. How about a little D-ball? 93 00:03:50,593 --> 00:03:51,841 Can't. 94 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,163 Whew! 95 00:03:53,164 --> 00:03:54,365 Headed back to school. 96 00:03:54,366 --> 00:03:55,503 Bunch of hot, crunchy chicks 97 00:03:55,504 --> 00:03:57,921 are having an eco rally on campus. 98 00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:02,341 Figure dog power here might help get me into some hemp panties. 99 00:04:03,057 --> 00:04:04,140 To college! 100 00:04:04,141 --> 00:04:05,101 Ya! 101 00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:10,223 Seems safe. 102 00:04:10,224 --> 00:04:13,538 Nah, he'll be fine. I drew up the plans myself. 103 00:04:14,110 --> 00:04:15,373 Dog and a rope? 104 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,065 Patent pending. 105 00:04:17,497 --> 00:04:19,240 You know, since it's just you and me tonight, 106 00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:21,588 I figured we could just hang out and watch a little TV, 107 00:04:21,589 --> 00:04:23,543 down here, upstairs, whatever. 108 00:04:23,544 --> 00:04:25,015 You're asking for sex, aren't you? 109 00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:26,211 Mm-hmm, but in a cute way. 110 00:04:26,212 --> 00:04:29,395 Sorry. I gotta get this guest list under a hundred. 111 00:04:29,882 --> 00:04:31,609 All right, look, I know this sucks, 112 00:04:31,651 --> 00:04:33,303 but I promise it's gonna be worth it. 113 00:04:33,304 --> 00:04:37,609 Our wedding is gonna be so fun and so sexy. 114 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,024 We're gonna go crazy on our wedding night, aren't we? 115 00:04:41,025 --> 00:04:42,593 Oh, yeah. 116 00:04:42,609 --> 00:04:45,233 Maybe. I get really tired at weddings. 117 00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:46,733 Hold on. 118 00:04:49,132 --> 00:04:50,515 You mock me, 119 00:04:50,516 --> 00:04:53,044 yet my life is your future, my friend-- 120 00:04:53,056 --> 00:04:57,461 a solitary march to the grave, a man... ignored. 121 00:04:57,462 --> 00:04:59,871 She's just distracted with wedding stuff, okay? 122 00:04:59,872 --> 00:05:02,564 No woman can ignore... "the truth." 123 00:05:02,565 --> 00:05:04,371 Did you just call your body "the truth"? 124 00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:06,524 I did, and I did it unironically. 125 00:05:06,525 --> 00:05:09,517 Well, Grayson... truth... 126 00:05:09,645 --> 00:05:11,776 You can't use the wedding as an excuse. 127 00:05:11,777 --> 00:05:13,240 You think you come first? 128 00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:15,199 I bet you're not even top five. 129 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,764 The truth is top five. 130 00:05:16,765 --> 00:05:20,221 Ha. Ah, well, here's her cell. 131 00:05:20,594 --> 00:05:21,657 All right. 132 00:05:21,658 --> 00:05:23,768 Well, let's check her speed dial, shall we? 133 00:05:23,786 --> 00:05:26,452 Number one--Travis-- no surprise there. 134 00:05:26,453 --> 00:05:27,952 Number two... 135 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:30,020 Hi, Ellie. It's me. Yeah, just showing Grays-- 136 00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:31,182 Hello? 137 00:05:31,774 --> 00:05:33,951 She hung up. Happens a lot. 138 00:05:34,109 --> 00:05:35,484 Three's her dad. 139 00:05:35,587 --> 00:05:37,264 Four's Wayne's wine store. 140 00:05:37,265 --> 00:05:38,529 Thought that'd be higher. 141 00:05:38,813 --> 00:05:40,908 Oop, there you are! Number five! 142 00:05:40,909 --> 00:05:43,040 You were right, I was wrong. Ohh. 143 00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:45,784 Well, you're the fifth most important person 144 00:05:45,785 --> 00:05:48,766 to your future wife. Congrats. 145 00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:52,288 Oh, honey, hand me my cell. 146 00:05:52,449 --> 00:05:53,824 Could be the wine shop. 147 00:05:54,236 --> 00:05:55,345 Hello? 148 00:05:56,216 --> 00:05:57,368 What? 149 00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,645 Okay, I'll be right there. 150 00:06:01,549 --> 00:06:03,964 Travis had an accident. He's in the hospital. 151 00:06:04,733 --> 00:06:06,272 Oh. Whoo! 152 00:06:06,273 --> 00:06:08,322 Taste the dominance! 153 00:06:09,845 --> 00:06:10,949 What? 154 00:06:11,841 --> 00:06:12,959 Come on. 155 00:06:14,302 --> 00:06:15,647 Your son took a bad fall. 156 00:06:15,648 --> 00:06:18,060 He has a small skull fracture, but he's conscious, 157 00:06:18,061 --> 00:06:19,304 and there's no brain swelling, 158 00:06:19,305 --> 00:06:20,713 so he should be okay. 159 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,468 He'll be back to his room in a few minutes, 160 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:23,909 and you can see him. 161 00:06:25,548 --> 00:06:26,968 Was there an "okay" in there? 162 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,744 'Cause if there was, I can breathe again. 163 00:06:28,745 --> 00:06:30,077 He said "okay." 164 00:06:30,078 --> 00:06:30,704 Oh, good. 165 00:06:30,705 --> 00:06:31,677 Hey, Jules? 166 00:06:31,678 --> 00:06:34,372 Trav will still probably need a follow-up CAT scan. 167 00:06:34,373 --> 00:06:36,296 Hey, Tom, it's sweet you came, 168 00:06:36,297 --> 00:06:38,984 but why don't you leave the medical stuff to the doctors? 169 00:06:39,402 --> 00:06:41,156 Uh, I am a doctor. 170 00:06:41,157 --> 00:06:43,277 I'm the head neurosurgeon here. 171 00:06:43,648 --> 00:06:45,967 Come on, you didn't know I was a doctor? 172 00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:46,972 Please. Yeah. 173 00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:47,692 'Course. Yeah. 174 00:06:47,693 --> 00:06:49,971 Dr. Gazelian, to the E.R. 175 00:06:49,972 --> 00:06:52,260 Oh, well, Tom, don't walk away angry. 176 00:06:52,261 --> 00:06:53,980 They just paged me. 177 00:06:54,198 --> 00:06:56,195 Do you people not even know my last name? 178 00:06:56,196 --> 00:06:58,471 Of course we know your last name. 179 00:06:58,472 --> 00:06:59,400 Then say it. 180 00:06:59,401 --> 00:07:01,732 They just said it on the intercom two seconds ago. 181 00:07:01,733 --> 00:07:03,264 Who cares? Galifianakis? 182 00:07:03,265 --> 00:07:04,804 Gabba gabba hey? Gazoo? 183 00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:06,005 Gazoinks. 184 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,384 You think my name is Tom Gazoinks? 185 00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:09,820 Tom, I've had a rough day. 186 00:07:09,821 --> 00:07:11,389 You think I could get a pass? 187 00:07:13,617 --> 00:07:15,266 Can I still be mad at them? 188 00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:16,449 Go nuts. 189 00:07:16,877 --> 00:07:19,069 You... you, you... 190 00:07:20,944 --> 00:07:22,231 You can see your son now. 191 00:07:22,232 --> 00:07:23,513 Oh, thank you. 192 00:07:24,005 --> 00:07:25,112 Okay, wait. 193 00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:26,468 I'm gonna get Travis through this, 194 00:07:26,469 --> 00:07:28,287 but I'm really gonna need all of your help. 195 00:07:28,288 --> 00:07:30,880 I mean, we all know he can spiral pretty easily. 196 00:07:30,881 --> 00:07:32,469 He dropped out of school over a girl 197 00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:36,341 who I think we all can agree was not very special. 198 00:07:36,853 --> 00:07:37,532 Nope. No. 199 00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:38,531 She was no you. 200 00:07:38,532 --> 00:07:39,861 They never are. 201 00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:41,920 Anyway, when we see him, 202 00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:44,335 can we just all be super positive, you know? 203 00:07:44,336 --> 00:07:47,233 Just happy faces and happy thoughts? 204 00:07:53,925 --> 00:07:56,972 Happy faces. Happy thoughts. 205 00:07:56,973 --> 00:07:58,285 Okay. 206 00:08:00,486 --> 00:08:02,612 I'm so glad you're okay. 207 00:08:02,613 --> 00:08:04,191 I fractured my skull. 208 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,436 I mean, things were going great at college, 209 00:08:06,437 --> 00:08:09,316 and now I am stuck in a hospital. 210 00:08:09,317 --> 00:08:11,051 This totally sucks. 211 00:08:11,052 --> 00:08:14,391 Yeah, it does. Hospitals are scary. 212 00:08:14,392 --> 00:08:15,549 Happy thoughts. 213 00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:17,037 But not this room. 214 00:08:17,316 --> 00:08:20,820 There's all these buttons and there's tubes. 215 00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:22,967 I bet no one ever died in here. 216 00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,632 Maybe only I talk. 217 00:08:24,984 --> 00:08:26,896 Right now it does suck, 218 00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,433 but I'm gonna get you through it. 219 00:08:28,623 --> 00:08:30,800 I mean, plus you have an awesome story. 220 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,616 You have a fractured skull. 221 00:08:32,617 --> 00:08:34,940 Girls are gonna think you're a total badass. 222 00:08:34,941 --> 00:08:36,860 That's true. Back in college, 223 00:08:36,861 --> 00:08:38,554 I was a sucker for injuries. 224 00:08:38,555 --> 00:08:41,484 If a guy had a scar or a missing finger, 225 00:08:41,637 --> 00:08:43,189 we just did stuff. 226 00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,585 I miss being a ho. 227 00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:46,849 You want back in? 228 00:08:47,405 --> 00:08:48,564 'Cause we'll take you back. 229 00:08:48,565 --> 00:08:51,336 Yeah, I'm sure panties will drop when girls find out 230 00:08:51,337 --> 00:08:54,587 I was being pulled by my dog on a skateboard, 231 00:08:54,588 --> 00:08:55,967 saw a monarch butterfly, 232 00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:59,692 and said, "Hey, you're not native to Florida"--crash. 233 00:08:59,693 --> 00:09:03,277 So change the story. Grayson has a scar. 234 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,873 He told me it was from a motorcycle accident. 235 00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:07,608 Why don't you tell 'em what really happened? 236 00:09:07,609 --> 00:09:09,160 I don't want to. Tell it. 237 00:09:09,161 --> 00:09:10,856 I burnt it on my curling iron. 238 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,783 It was the '90s. Shut up. 239 00:09:13,784 --> 00:09:15,469 Damn. Pretty boy had a perm. 240 00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:17,566 There's my happy boy. 241 00:09:17,821 --> 00:09:20,189 Oh, man. This is all my fault. 242 00:09:20,321 --> 00:09:22,252 I never should have invented dog boarding. 243 00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:24,325 Now his life's falling apart. 244 00:09:24,754 --> 00:09:25,837 Get him out of here. 245 00:09:25,838 --> 00:09:28,605 Sorry. It's just so sad. 246 00:09:28,898 --> 00:09:31,855 I know what will help. Sorry. 247 00:09:34,681 --> 00:09:37,850 Look, Grayson. They sense your loneliness. 248 00:09:39,584 --> 00:09:41,074 Let them fix it. 249 00:09:45,996 --> 00:09:47,982 Oh, hey, you're still here. 250 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:51,261 Yeah. I just wanted to watch him sleep. 251 00:09:51,517 --> 00:09:52,781 I'll stay with you. 252 00:09:55,597 --> 00:09:57,469 Oh. Okay. 253 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,324 Honey, there's a chair right back there. 254 00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:07,016 What's wrong? 255 00:10:07,017 --> 00:10:08,180 Well, it doesn't seem like 256 00:10:08,181 --> 00:10:10,372 you've been paying a lot of attention to me lately. 257 00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:11,988 Oh, sweetie. 258 00:10:12,141 --> 00:10:15,035 Let me turn down the volume of my son's heart monitor 259 00:10:15,036 --> 00:10:16,861 so I can focus on you better. 260 00:10:16,957 --> 00:10:19,060 When I imagined this conversation on the way over, 261 00:10:19,061 --> 00:10:20,116 it went much better. 262 00:10:20,117 --> 00:10:21,733 No, you're doing great. 263 00:10:21,902 --> 00:10:23,549 Oh, great. You're awake. 264 00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:29,404 What? Sometimes, when I need to think, 265 00:10:29,405 --> 00:10:31,674 I'll go blading at the beach with my boom box. 266 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,848 Oy! 267 00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:37,527 Dominated! 268 00:10:40,109 --> 00:10:41,245 Uh-oh. 269 00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,412 Which one you tool bags 270 00:10:50,413 --> 00:10:53,309 said that girls can't play this stupid game? 271 00:10:53,477 --> 00:10:54,619 You're on her team? 272 00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:58,925 We bonded over your monster feet and justice for women. 273 00:11:01,168 --> 00:11:03,709 A'ight. First of all, girls throw like chicks. 274 00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:05,452 You know, sometimes y'all ruin our games. 275 00:11:05,453 --> 00:11:07,316 You know, you gals take everything so personally 276 00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:08,444 and get all emotional. 277 00:11:08,445 --> 00:11:10,040 That's just a stereotype. 278 00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:12,528 That's like saying all blondes are dumb. 279 00:11:12,529 --> 00:11:14,865 But that-- Shh. Same team. 280 00:11:14,889 --> 00:11:16,579 Fine, you're in, 281 00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:19,796 but the second someone cries, game over. 282 00:11:19,797 --> 00:11:23,493 Yeah! Chicks versus sticks, y'all! 283 00:11:23,538 --> 00:11:25,361 Wait a minute. Where'd Andy go? 284 00:11:26,405 --> 00:11:29,963 Ohh! Dominated! 285 00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:31,912 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! 286 00:11:31,913 --> 00:11:32,610 Oh, my God. 287 00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:36,006 That was scary and humiliating at the same time-- 288 00:11:36,494 --> 00:11:38,355 the two things that make me cry. 289 00:11:38,356 --> 00:11:39,620 Fight it. 290 00:11:40,855 --> 00:11:43,013 I'm--I'm--o--I'm okay. 291 00:11:43,721 --> 00:11:44,527 Game on. 292 00:11:44,528 --> 00:11:45,489 Oy! 293 00:11:49,704 --> 00:11:51,344 I got your computer. 294 00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:54,256 Oh, I spoke to your teachers and I got all your assignments. 295 00:11:54,257 --> 00:11:56,028 Oh, joy. Homework in the hospital. 296 00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:59,672 By the way, your bio professor Mr. Dawkins? 297 00:11:59,816 --> 00:12:01,527 Way into me. 298 00:12:01,528 --> 00:12:03,980 I could get you an "A" just by making out with him. 299 00:12:03,981 --> 00:12:05,391 Well, I hate to burst your bubble, 300 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,121 but I could get that "A" myself... 301 00:12:07,505 --> 00:12:09,036 also by making out with him. 302 00:12:09,037 --> 00:12:10,924 Really? Him? 303 00:12:11,649 --> 00:12:13,724 Well, that was a wasted lip bite. 304 00:12:13,725 --> 00:12:15,005 A what? 305 00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:20,497 Okay, you realize I can't un-see that, right? 306 00:12:20,929 --> 00:12:22,220 I'm sorry you're having to wait on me 307 00:12:22,221 --> 00:12:23,436 hand-and-foot in the hospital. 308 00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:25,540 I know it was supposed to be all wedding, all the time. 309 00:12:25,541 --> 00:12:26,913 A.W.A.T.T. 310 00:12:27,028 --> 00:12:28,677 Is that "all wedding all the time"? 311 00:12:28,787 --> 00:12:30,400 A-what-what-what? 312 00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:32,436 A-what-what-what-what-what? 313 00:12:32,437 --> 00:12:34,834 A-what-what? What-what? 314 00:12:34,835 --> 00:12:36,320 A-what? Okay, we gotta stop. 315 00:12:36,321 --> 00:12:37,566 I know. 316 00:12:37,652 --> 00:12:40,534 How have you held it together with this whole Travis thing? 317 00:12:40,535 --> 00:12:42,429 I mean, if Stan even scrapes his knee, 318 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:43,366 I totally freak out. 319 00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:45,980 Yeah, I agree, and I don't even have kids. 320 00:12:45,981 --> 00:12:47,342 You probably do. 321 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,077 One could have dropped out while you were skanking around town. 322 00:12:50,078 --> 00:12:52,253 Teammates. Right, right. Forgot. 323 00:12:52,301 --> 00:12:54,011 Look, you both could handle this. 324 00:12:54,012 --> 00:12:55,656 This is what moms do in crisis-- 325 00:12:55,657 --> 00:12:56,826 you get your family through it, 326 00:12:56,827 --> 00:12:59,300 and then when everything's all better, you fall apart. 327 00:12:59,301 --> 00:13:02,631 Oh, I can't wait to become a crying, snotty mess. 328 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:05,317 To total meltdowns. 329 00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:07,260 Oh, yeah. 330 00:13:07,464 --> 00:13:09,388 It's ready. 331 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,493 What is? 332 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,588 Revenge. 333 00:13:19,107 --> 00:13:20,261 Dominated.. 334 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,424 Oh! Oh! 335 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,356 Hey, sweetie. 336 00:13:29,468 --> 00:13:31,277 Ah, there you are. 337 00:13:31,417 --> 00:13:33,704 Are you okay? You need a kiss? 338 00:13:34,122 --> 00:13:36,464 Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. I don't care. 339 00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:38,785 Well, here it comes. 340 00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:44,944 Uncool. 341 00:13:46,781 --> 00:13:48,071 You psyched to get out of here? 342 00:13:48,072 --> 00:13:49,598 Oh, totally. 343 00:13:49,599 --> 00:13:53,275 We cannot thank you enough... Dr. Gazelian. 344 00:13:53,276 --> 00:13:54,496 You remembered. 345 00:13:54,497 --> 00:13:56,000 Of course. I'll never forget. 346 00:13:57,154 --> 00:13:58,689 Would you like to say it again? 347 00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:00,177 I would not. 348 00:14:00,521 --> 00:14:02,896 So, Travis, you get to head back to college 349 00:14:02,897 --> 00:14:05,192 and jump into life like nothing ever happened. 350 00:14:05,193 --> 00:14:06,424 And here's your helmet. 351 00:14:06,425 --> 00:14:07,476 My what? 352 00:14:07,477 --> 00:14:10,225 It's pretty standard in injuries like this. 353 00:14:10,226 --> 00:14:13,060 We don't want to risk further trauma to the area. 354 00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:14,797 It's only for a couple of months. 355 00:14:15,132 --> 00:14:17,163 Look at my handsome boy. 356 00:14:20,953 --> 00:14:24,233 Ohh, I look so stupid. 357 00:14:24,234 --> 00:14:26,072 Not if you're going to a helmet party. 358 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:27,705 What-what? Ta-da! 359 00:14:29,677 --> 00:14:31,133 Bobby, raise your visor. 360 00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,710 I love you, son. 361 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,954 You guys are such dorks. 362 00:14:36,955 --> 00:14:40,756 This is an exact replica of the helmet Amelia Earhart wore 363 00:14:40,757 --> 00:14:42,393 when she invented airplanes. 364 00:14:42,394 --> 00:14:44,965 Mnh-mnh. When her baby got stolen. 365 00:14:44,966 --> 00:14:45,659 Nope. 366 00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:50,075 Plus, I look super hot in my riding helmet. Check it. 367 00:14:50,685 --> 00:14:52,453 Mnh-mnh. Mm-hmm. 368 00:14:52,454 --> 00:14:54,480 Why do older women keep doing that to me? 369 00:14:54,481 --> 00:14:56,359 We just want to send you back to college 370 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:57,548 with a smile, sweetheart. 371 00:14:57,549 --> 00:14:59,944 Well, I was gonna wait until your eulogy to say this, 372 00:14:59,945 --> 00:15:02,297 but, ah, well, here goes. 373 00:15:02,393 --> 00:15:04,393 Jules Kiki Cobb, 374 00:15:04,573 --> 00:15:07,629 you were a great mom. 375 00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:09,568 Rest in peace. 376 00:15:11,915 --> 00:15:14,201 I'm so excited to die. 377 00:15:16,085 --> 00:15:17,980 Thank you, friend. And you know what? 378 00:15:17,981 --> 00:15:20,980 I want to take this time to thank you for your patronage 379 00:15:20,981 --> 00:15:23,636 and to tell you that I hope to see you around here... 380 00:15:24,133 --> 00:15:25,443 real, real soon. 381 00:15:28,296 --> 00:15:28,957 Wow. 382 00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:30,915 Did I just see you steal some human contact 383 00:15:30,916 --> 00:15:32,025 from a total stranger? 384 00:15:32,026 --> 00:15:34,488 Stop it, you big kook. Bam! 385 00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:40,828 Oh, my God. What's happening to me? 386 00:15:40,829 --> 00:15:42,562 Ohh. Who cares? 387 00:15:42,563 --> 00:15:44,564 Oh, yeah. Work the neck. 388 00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:46,457 Get off me, Andy, you weirdo. 389 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:47,484 All right. 390 00:15:47,485 --> 00:15:48,920 The gals are over at J-Bird's, 391 00:15:48,921 --> 00:15:49,799 but they're all wearing helmets, 392 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:50,995 so if you want to cause some damage, 393 00:15:50,996 --> 00:15:52,548 you gotta hit 'em in the knockers. 394 00:15:52,713 --> 00:15:54,928 I'm out. The girls are too mean. It's scary. 395 00:15:54,929 --> 00:15:56,612 What? No, it's not. 396 00:15:56,613 --> 00:15:58,564 Really? Lift up your shirt. 397 00:16:00,917 --> 00:16:01,615 Ow. 398 00:16:01,616 --> 00:16:02,804 We're not quitting. 399 00:16:02,805 --> 00:16:04,564 I'm out, too, man, and... 400 00:16:04,799 --> 00:16:06,683 I really hate to disappoint you. 401 00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:09,751 Come here. I'm so, so, so sorry. 402 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,152 Dude. 403 00:16:11,153 --> 00:16:12,448 No words. 404 00:16:13,785 --> 00:16:16,217 Well, it's over. He's heading back. 405 00:16:16,286 --> 00:16:18,381 Way to go, super mom. 406 00:16:18,969 --> 00:16:20,257 And now that it's all better, 407 00:16:20,258 --> 00:16:23,445 you get to fall apart and have your meltdown like you promised. 408 00:16:23,446 --> 00:16:26,212 You could throw some dishes, maybe shave your head. 409 00:16:26,213 --> 00:16:28,243 I could never shave my head, 410 00:16:28,244 --> 00:16:30,526 not with these ears. Oh. 411 00:16:30,527 --> 00:16:32,757 I would look like one of those monkeys holding the cymbals. 412 00:16:34,914 --> 00:16:36,893 Oh. Mm. 413 00:16:37,282 --> 00:16:40,700 You know, I don't know whether it's Travis is getting older 414 00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:42,184 or I'm getting wiser, 415 00:16:42,185 --> 00:16:44,904 but I don't think I'm gonna need to fall apart this time. 416 00:16:44,905 --> 00:16:46,996 What a rip-off. I was so excited. 417 00:16:46,997 --> 00:16:49,334 No. Big Carl can stay. 418 00:16:49,354 --> 00:16:51,177 He's there for good times and bad. 419 00:16:51,897 --> 00:16:52,999 I'm heading out. 420 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,913 Hey, Buster, I think the helmet works better on your head. 421 00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:57,564 Yeah, but it's college, 422 00:16:57,565 --> 00:16:59,741 and it looks a little ridiculous, so... 423 00:16:59,742 --> 00:17:01,536 I can't wear it all the time, but don't worry. 424 00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:03,857 I'll be careful. Peace. 425 00:17:07,773 --> 00:17:10,957 Yay. Here it comes. 426 00:17:11,861 --> 00:17:13,397 I don't understand you. 427 00:17:14,529 --> 00:17:17,506 I hate myself. I mean, I used to be a man. 428 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,601 You must love seeing me like this. 429 00:17:20,602 --> 00:17:21,912 I really do. 430 00:17:22,177 --> 00:17:23,940 As soon as you give your heart to someone, 431 00:17:23,941 --> 00:17:25,556 they just pull away. 432 00:17:25,685 --> 00:17:28,228 It's like I learned nothing from Katherine Heigl movies. 433 00:17:28,245 --> 00:17:29,028 You can't go back 434 00:17:29,029 --> 00:17:31,573 to being an emotionally walled-off cyborg. 435 00:17:32,097 --> 00:17:33,904 That's how you messed up your first marriage. 436 00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,168 Stopped sharing your feelings, 437 00:17:36,236 --> 00:17:39,038 spent hours fixing a bread maker that wasn't broken 438 00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:41,568 just to avoid another silent dinner. 439 00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:44,324 How? I didn't even know you back then. 440 00:17:44,325 --> 00:17:44,941 When I got bored, 441 00:17:44,942 --> 00:17:46,828 I'd get a chair and sit outside your window. 442 00:17:47,969 --> 00:17:49,580 I really liked your hair back then. 443 00:17:49,581 --> 00:17:52,901 Thanks. So did I, but Jules likes it like this. 444 00:17:53,786 --> 00:17:55,056 I'm the lamest. 445 00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:58,001 Please. I roll around with strange dogs. 446 00:17:58,607 --> 00:18:02,156 You know, as men, I feel like we're not asking for that much. 447 00:18:02,157 --> 00:18:04,292 I just want her to give me attention when I want it 448 00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,188 and to leave me alone when I don't want it. 449 00:18:06,189 --> 00:18:07,273 Yeah, like a baby. 450 00:18:07,274 --> 00:18:09,848 Exactly. Just treat me like a baby. 451 00:18:10,135 --> 00:18:12,631 When we want affection, they don't give it to us, 452 00:18:12,632 --> 00:18:14,221 but if we don't want it, they come running. 453 00:18:14,222 --> 00:18:16,541 The key is to never look desperate. 454 00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:18,274 But you always look desperate. 455 00:18:18,326 --> 00:18:19,989 Didn't say I was good at it. 456 00:18:20,218 --> 00:18:21,325 You know, you should really let people see 457 00:18:21,326 --> 00:18:23,304 those paintings you've been working on in your room. 458 00:18:23,305 --> 00:18:24,408 Stop spying on me. 459 00:18:24,409 --> 00:18:26,217 Stop being so talented. 460 00:18:28,129 --> 00:18:30,400 So you were worried about me. 461 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:32,996 I was freaking out. 462 00:18:32,997 --> 00:18:35,814 You know, I almost died once at an amusement park. 463 00:18:35,873 --> 00:18:38,561 I got strangled by an Animatronic bear. 464 00:18:38,593 --> 00:18:40,768 Turns out when you throw a whole cup of soda on them, 465 00:18:40,769 --> 00:18:42,283 those things go crazy. 466 00:18:42,284 --> 00:18:43,889 It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, 467 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,594 but they actually had to shoot it. 468 00:18:48,112 --> 00:18:50,577 Laurie's about to taste some dominance. 469 00:18:51,556 --> 00:18:53,728 ♪ Your best friend's house ♪ 470 00:18:53,729 --> 00:18:54,929 Oh. 471 00:18:55,963 --> 00:18:57,096 Oh. 472 00:18:57,317 --> 00:18:58,756 Ohh. 473 00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:01,608 This could have split your head open. 474 00:19:01,609 --> 00:19:04,064 Mom, it's just a squishy ball. 475 00:19:04,065 --> 00:19:05,624 Buckle up. Here we go. 476 00:19:05,625 --> 00:19:07,762 This squishy ball represents 477 00:19:07,763 --> 00:19:10,676 everything bad in the world that can happen to you. 478 00:19:10,797 --> 00:19:15,785 So because of one freak accident you're just melting down? 479 00:19:15,786 --> 00:19:17,188 I'm almost 20, remember? 480 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,486 You can stop worrying about me. 481 00:19:19,487 --> 00:19:21,597 No, I can't, you idiot! 482 00:19:21,636 --> 00:19:24,053 I will never stop worrying about you. 483 00:19:24,054 --> 00:19:25,589 You know, when you're 80 484 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,552 and I'm telling everyone that I'm 90-- 485 00:19:27,553 --> 00:19:29,329 and getting away with it, by the way-- 486 00:19:29,345 --> 00:19:32,720 I will still lay awake at night in the nursing home... 487 00:19:32,852 --> 00:19:34,428 Where we live together, 488 00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:36,381 waiting for you to get home. 489 00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:39,547 She's crying. That means we win dominance ball. 490 00:19:39,548 --> 00:19:41,997 True, but not the time. 491 00:19:42,028 --> 00:19:43,725 Travis, now that you're older, 492 00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:46,112 nothing's changed, 493 00:19:46,189 --> 00:19:48,860 except I can no longer tell you what to do. 494 00:19:50,038 --> 00:19:51,621 I can only ask. 495 00:19:53,476 --> 00:19:55,011 So please... 496 00:19:56,324 --> 00:19:59,737 Please wear that stupid helmet, so I can sleep. 497 00:19:59,738 --> 00:20:01,869 ♪ If you are afraid, don't be ♪ 498 00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:05,176 ♪ I have the whole thing planned ♪ 499 00:20:05,177 --> 00:20:08,393 ♪ we'll start in the ocean, baby ♪ 500 00:20:08,938 --> 00:20:11,831 ♪ when we find the land ♪ 501 00:20:11,832 --> 00:20:13,643 I know you guys are all parents, 502 00:20:13,644 --> 00:20:17,085 but you know what scares me most about kids? 503 00:20:17,248 --> 00:20:19,713 I mean, Stan may promise not to cross the street 504 00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:21,706 and Trav may say he's gonna wear that helmet, 505 00:20:21,707 --> 00:20:24,522 but once they're out of your sight, 506 00:20:25,261 --> 00:20:27,256 you never really know, do you? 507 00:20:27,257 --> 00:20:29,280 ♪ And you've seen ♪ 508 00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:31,948 ♪ the way that things work ♪ 509 00:20:31,949 --> 00:20:34,520 ♪ but you need a compass to ♪ 510 00:20:34,521 --> 00:20:36,248 Why isn't this working? 511 00:20:36,254 --> 00:20:39,662 ♪ Get around your house ♪ 512 00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,899 Hey. Whatcha up to? 513 00:20:44,197 --> 00:20:46,372 Back to all wedding, all the time. 514 00:20:46,842 --> 00:20:49,209 Someone added a name to the guest list. 515 00:20:49,305 --> 00:20:52,393 "T. Gazelian"? Who the hell is that? 516 00:20:55,101 --> 00:20:56,988 Be cool. Sit back down. 517 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,312 Stop spying on me. 518 00:20:58,313 --> 00:21:00,889 Don't be desperate. Let her come to you. 519 00:21:14,402 --> 00:21:15,535 Scoot over. 520 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:25,760 Sync by YYeTs.net Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 36372

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