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1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,812
Hello? Hello?
2
00:00:02,820 --> 00:00:05,096
Not now, Tom. Can't really talk.
3
00:00:05,097 --> 00:00:06,953
I've got a family dinner tonight.
4
00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,421
You'd understand if you had kids.
5
00:00:09,422 --> 00:00:12,319
My son Bryce is a marine,
and Haylee's in law school.
6
00:00:12,489 --> 00:00:13,784
We've been neighbors for 12 years.
7
00:00:13,785 --> 00:00:15,103
Do you even know me?
8
00:00:15,104 --> 00:00:17,456
You know, this conversation isn't
really gonna go well for me,
9
00:00:17,457 --> 00:00:19,540
so I'm just gonna give
you a blanket "sorry,"
10
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:22,003
but please thank Bryan for his
service to our country.
11
00:00:22,004 --> 00:00:23,574
Bryce. Bryce.
12
00:00:27,845 --> 00:00:29,829
Ah, it's nice to see you two bonding.
13
00:00:30,977 --> 00:00:32,896
I wanted this to be a nice family dinner.
14
00:00:32,897 --> 00:00:34,108
No one could set the table?
15
00:00:34,109 --> 00:00:36,795
We should just eat caveman
style. No dishes to clean.
16
00:00:36,796 --> 00:00:38,061
Get the shades.
17
00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:45,280
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Give me some of that.
18
00:00:45,281 --> 00:00:47,504
Did you at least wash your hands?
19
00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:49,328
Oh, the Queen of England
20
00:00:49,329 --> 00:00:50,948
wants to know if our hands are clean.
21
00:00:50,949 --> 00:00:52,927
Shut your face.
You shut your face.
22
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,545
Now it's a family dinner.
23
00:01:01,057 --> 00:01:02,636
Come on, dig in, prissy pants.
24
00:01:02,637 --> 00:01:04,028
I'm on a tight schedule.
25
00:01:04,213 --> 00:01:05,408
Ellie and Laurie are coming over
26
00:01:05,409 --> 00:01:07,397
to work on our guest list for our wedding.
27
00:01:07,398 --> 00:01:09,284
I thought we were gonna hang out tonight.
28
00:01:09,285 --> 00:01:10,452
I mean, ever since we got engaged,
29
00:01:10,453 --> 00:01:12,289
you're so busy with wedding stuff.
30
00:01:12,290 --> 00:01:13,634
You want to help out a little?
31
00:01:14,072 --> 00:01:15,418
Pass the potatoes?
32
00:01:16,088 --> 00:01:18,556
Ah, attaboy. Gravy chaser?
33
00:01:18,557 --> 00:01:19,348
Mm.
34
00:01:19,349 --> 00:01:21,077
Mm. Oh, yeah.
35
00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:23,325
Oh, Trav, honey, you look so tired.
36
00:01:23,346 --> 00:01:24,680
If you're gonna drive
back to school tonight,
37
00:01:24,681 --> 00:01:26,793
you're gonna have to
drink a lot of caffeine.
38
00:01:26,852 --> 00:01:28,737
I'll give you some sleeping
pills to bring you down.
39
00:01:28,738 --> 00:01:31,789
Well, as much as I appreciate the
incredibly unhealthy advice,
40
00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:34,456
I'm almost 20.
Don't need to worry about me.
41
00:01:34,457 --> 00:01:36,270
Oh, okay. I'll stop.
42
00:01:36,271 --> 00:01:38,880
I mean, you're the one
getting married to royalty.
43
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:41,792
You should just be all
wedding, all the time.
44
00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:45,073
All wedding, all the time--
I like it, yeah.
45
00:01:45,098 --> 00:01:52,298
Sync by YYeTs.net
Corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:01:52,849 --> 00:01:54,145
Don't look at me.
47
00:01:54,745 --> 00:01:57,165
I would totally date a guy with no feet.
48
00:01:57,166 --> 00:01:59,682
It would just be one less gross
thing for me to deal with.
49
00:02:00,048 --> 00:02:01,811
Are you trying to tell me I
shouldn't wear flip-flops?
50
00:02:01,812 --> 00:02:04,613
No. Oh, God, yes.
51
00:02:04,961 --> 00:02:06,977
They're all big toes.
52
00:02:07,747 --> 00:02:11,011
Whoo! You got dominated, buddy!
53
00:02:13,844 --> 00:02:15,372
This is just our new game. You know,
54
00:02:15,373 --> 00:02:17,640
if someone's not looking,
you peg 'em with this ball,
55
00:02:17,641 --> 00:02:19,431
thus establishing dominance.
56
00:02:19,432 --> 00:02:20,936
We call it dominance ball.
57
00:02:20,937 --> 00:02:23,876
If anyone hits me with a ball,
58
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:25,729
it will end up inside of them.
59
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,990
Don't worry. D-ball's just for dudes.
60
00:02:27,991 --> 00:02:29,579
Nothing's just for dudes anymore--
61
00:02:29,580 --> 00:02:33,049
not NASCAR, not cigars, not
even peeing standing up.
62
00:02:34,536 --> 00:02:35,687
How did we lose that?
63
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:36,953
Mm-mm.
64
00:02:38,681 --> 00:02:40,586
Why are you guys in my house?
65
00:02:40,587 --> 00:02:42,775
Sorry, Jules is out of wine.
Oh, and pickles.
66
00:02:42,776 --> 00:02:46,021
Oh, and D batteries for my boom box.
67
00:02:46,022 --> 00:02:49,589
Ellie... I saw Andy's feet.
68
00:02:50,105 --> 00:02:51,753
I'm so sorry.
69
00:02:52,117 --> 00:02:53,295
No one understands.
70
00:02:53,296 --> 00:02:54,633
Oh, gosh.
71
00:02:54,977 --> 00:02:56,889
They're as wide as they are long.
72
00:02:56,890 --> 00:02:58,713
I know.
73
00:02:58,813 --> 00:03:00,044
It's...
74
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,765
There's my girl. I need a kiss.
75
00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,029
You'll live.
76
00:03:05,541 --> 00:03:07,061
Love you!
77
00:03:07,364 --> 00:03:08,877
You just got iced, son.
78
00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:11,219
I worship Ellie even when
she is a little distant.
79
00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:14,431
Besides, if I need affection,
there are places
80
00:03:14,432 --> 00:03:17,392
to get my needs met outside the marriage.
81
00:03:17,502 --> 00:03:19,069
Know what I mean?
82
00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:22,937
Dog park, baby!
83
00:03:23,545 --> 00:03:25,805
Oh, I love you! Oh, yes!
84
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,379
Oh, that's what I need!
85
00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:28,917
Oh, that tickles!
86
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,588
I am married! Don't you see this ring?
87
00:03:32,226 --> 00:03:33,585
You've been pretty quiet.
88
00:03:34,253 --> 00:03:37,277
Mm, I'm not really ready to talk yet.
89
00:03:38,558 --> 00:03:40,393
Are you ready to be dominated?
90
00:03:41,925 --> 00:03:45,024
Whoo! Domination!
91
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,769
I do love this game.
92
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,456
Hey, son. How about a little D-ball?
93
00:03:50,593 --> 00:03:51,841
Can't.
94
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,163
Whew!
95
00:03:53,164 --> 00:03:54,365
Headed back to school.
96
00:03:54,366 --> 00:03:55,503
Bunch of hot, crunchy chicks
97
00:03:55,504 --> 00:03:57,921
are having an eco rally on campus.
98
00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:02,341
Figure dog power here might help
get me into some hemp panties.
99
00:04:03,057 --> 00:04:04,140
To college!
100
00:04:04,141 --> 00:04:05,101
Ya!
101
00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:10,223
Seems safe.
102
00:04:10,224 --> 00:04:13,538
Nah, he'll be fine.
I drew up the plans myself.
103
00:04:14,110 --> 00:04:15,373
Dog and a rope?
104
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,065
Patent pending.
105
00:04:17,497 --> 00:04:19,240
You know, since it's
just you and me tonight,
106
00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:21,588
I figured we could just hang
out and watch a little TV,
107
00:04:21,589 --> 00:04:23,543
down here, upstairs, whatever.
108
00:04:23,544 --> 00:04:25,015
You're asking for sex, aren't you?
109
00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:26,211
Mm-hmm, but in a cute way.
110
00:04:26,212 --> 00:04:29,395
Sorry. I gotta get this
guest list under a hundred.
111
00:04:29,882 --> 00:04:31,609
All right, look, I know this sucks,
112
00:04:31,651 --> 00:04:33,303
but I promise it's gonna be worth it.
113
00:04:33,304 --> 00:04:37,609
Our wedding is gonna be so fun and so sexy.
114
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,024
We're gonna go crazy on our
wedding night, aren't we?
115
00:04:41,025 --> 00:04:42,593
Oh, yeah.
116
00:04:42,609 --> 00:04:45,233
Maybe. I get really tired at weddings.
117
00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:46,733
Hold on.
118
00:04:49,132 --> 00:04:50,515
You mock me,
119
00:04:50,516 --> 00:04:53,044
yet my life is your future, my friend--
120
00:04:53,056 --> 00:04:57,461
a solitary march to the grave, a man...
ignored.
121
00:04:57,462 --> 00:04:59,871
She's just distracted
with wedding stuff, okay?
122
00:04:59,872 --> 00:05:02,564
No woman can ignore... "the truth."
123
00:05:02,565 --> 00:05:04,371
Did you just call your body "the truth"?
124
00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:06,524
I did, and I did it unironically.
125
00:05:06,525 --> 00:05:09,517
Well, Grayson... truth...
126
00:05:09,645 --> 00:05:11,776
You can't use the wedding as an excuse.
127
00:05:11,777 --> 00:05:13,240
You think you come first?
128
00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:15,199
I bet you're not even top five.
129
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,764
The truth is top five.
130
00:05:16,765 --> 00:05:20,221
Ha. Ah, well, here's her cell.
131
00:05:20,594 --> 00:05:21,657
All right.
132
00:05:21,658 --> 00:05:23,768
Well, let's check her speed dial, shall we?
133
00:05:23,786 --> 00:05:26,452
Number one--Travis-- no surprise there.
134
00:05:26,453 --> 00:05:27,952
Number two...
135
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:30,020
Hi, Ellie. It's me.
Yeah, just showing Grays--
136
00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:31,182
Hello?
137
00:05:31,774 --> 00:05:33,951
She hung up. Happens a lot.
138
00:05:34,109 --> 00:05:35,484
Three's her dad.
139
00:05:35,587 --> 00:05:37,264
Four's Wayne's wine store.
140
00:05:37,265 --> 00:05:38,529
Thought that'd be higher.
141
00:05:38,813 --> 00:05:40,908
Oop, there you are! Number five!
142
00:05:40,909 --> 00:05:43,040
You were right, I was wrong. Ohh.
143
00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:45,784
Well, you're the fifth
most important person
144
00:05:45,785 --> 00:05:48,766
to your future wife. Congrats.
145
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:52,288
Oh, honey, hand me my cell.
146
00:05:52,449 --> 00:05:53,824
Could be the wine shop.
147
00:05:54,236 --> 00:05:55,345
Hello?
148
00:05:56,216 --> 00:05:57,368
What?
149
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,645
Okay, I'll be right there.
150
00:06:01,549 --> 00:06:03,964
Travis had an accident.
He's in the hospital.
151
00:06:04,733 --> 00:06:06,272
Oh. Whoo!
152
00:06:06,273 --> 00:06:08,322
Taste the dominance!
153
00:06:09,845 --> 00:06:10,949
What?
154
00:06:11,841 --> 00:06:12,959
Come on.
155
00:06:14,302 --> 00:06:15,647
Your son took a bad fall.
156
00:06:15,648 --> 00:06:18,060
He has a small skull fracture,
but he's conscious,
157
00:06:18,061 --> 00:06:19,304
and there's no brain swelling,
158
00:06:19,305 --> 00:06:20,713
so he should be okay.
159
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,468
He'll be back to his room in a few minutes,
160
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:23,909
and you can see him.
161
00:06:25,548 --> 00:06:26,968
Was there an "okay" in there?
162
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,744
'Cause if there was, I can breathe again.
163
00:06:28,745 --> 00:06:30,077
He said "okay."
164
00:06:30,078 --> 00:06:30,704
Oh, good.
165
00:06:30,705 --> 00:06:31,677
Hey, Jules?
166
00:06:31,678 --> 00:06:34,372
Trav will still probably
need a follow-up CAT scan.
167
00:06:34,373 --> 00:06:36,296
Hey, Tom, it's sweet you came,
168
00:06:36,297 --> 00:06:38,984
but why don't you leave the
medical stuff to the doctors?
169
00:06:39,402 --> 00:06:41,156
Uh, I am a doctor.
170
00:06:41,157 --> 00:06:43,277
I'm the head neurosurgeon here.
171
00:06:43,648 --> 00:06:45,967
Come on, you didn't know I was a doctor?
172
00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:46,972
Please. Yeah.
173
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:47,692
'Course. Yeah.
174
00:06:47,693 --> 00:06:49,971
Dr. Gazelian, to the E.R.
175
00:06:49,972 --> 00:06:52,260
Oh, well, Tom, don't walk away angry.
176
00:06:52,261 --> 00:06:53,980
They just paged me.
177
00:06:54,198 --> 00:06:56,195
Do you people not even know my last name?
178
00:06:56,196 --> 00:06:58,471
Of course we know your last name.
179
00:06:58,472 --> 00:06:59,400
Then say it.
180
00:06:59,401 --> 00:07:01,732
They just said it on the
intercom two seconds ago.
181
00:07:01,733 --> 00:07:03,264
Who cares? Galifianakis?
182
00:07:03,265 --> 00:07:04,804
Gabba gabba hey? Gazoo?
183
00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:06,005
Gazoinks.
184
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,384
You think my name is Tom Gazoinks?
185
00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:09,820
Tom, I've had a rough day.
186
00:07:09,821 --> 00:07:11,389
You think I could get a pass?
187
00:07:13,617 --> 00:07:15,266
Can I still be mad at them?
188
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:16,449
Go nuts.
189
00:07:16,877 --> 00:07:19,069
You... you, you...
190
00:07:20,944 --> 00:07:22,231
You can see your son now.
191
00:07:22,232 --> 00:07:23,513
Oh, thank you.
192
00:07:24,005 --> 00:07:25,112
Okay, wait.
193
00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:26,468
I'm gonna get Travis through this,
194
00:07:26,469 --> 00:07:28,287
but I'm really gonna need all of your help.
195
00:07:28,288 --> 00:07:30,880
I mean, we all know he can
spiral pretty easily.
196
00:07:30,881 --> 00:07:32,469
He dropped out of school over a girl
197
00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:36,341
who I think we all can agree
was not very special.
198
00:07:36,853 --> 00:07:37,532
Nope. No.
199
00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:38,531
She was no you.
200
00:07:38,532 --> 00:07:39,861
They never are.
201
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:41,920
Anyway, when we see him,
202
00:07:41,921 --> 00:07:44,335
can we just all be super
positive, you know?
203
00:07:44,336 --> 00:07:47,233
Just happy faces and happy thoughts?
204
00:07:53,925 --> 00:07:56,972
Happy faces. Happy thoughts.
205
00:07:56,973 --> 00:07:58,285
Okay.
206
00:08:00,486 --> 00:08:02,612
I'm so glad you're okay.
207
00:08:02,613 --> 00:08:04,191
I fractured my skull.
208
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,436
I mean, things were going great at college,
209
00:08:06,437 --> 00:08:09,316
and now I am stuck in a hospital.
210
00:08:09,317 --> 00:08:11,051
This totally sucks.
211
00:08:11,052 --> 00:08:14,391
Yeah, it does. Hospitals are scary.
212
00:08:14,392 --> 00:08:15,549
Happy thoughts.
213
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:17,037
But not this room.
214
00:08:17,316 --> 00:08:20,820
There's all these buttons
and there's tubes.
215
00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:22,967
I bet no one ever died in here.
216
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,632
Maybe only I talk.
217
00:08:24,984 --> 00:08:26,896
Right now it does suck,
218
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:28,433
but I'm gonna get you through it.
219
00:08:28,623 --> 00:08:30,800
I mean, plus you have an awesome story.
220
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,616
You have a fractured skull.
221
00:08:32,617 --> 00:08:34,940
Girls are gonna think
you're a total badass.
222
00:08:34,941 --> 00:08:36,860
That's true. Back in college,
223
00:08:36,861 --> 00:08:38,554
I was a sucker for injuries.
224
00:08:38,555 --> 00:08:41,484
If a guy had a scar or a missing finger,
225
00:08:41,637 --> 00:08:43,189
we just did stuff.
226
00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,585
I miss being a ho.
227
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:46,849
You want back in?
228
00:08:47,405 --> 00:08:48,564
'Cause we'll take you back.
229
00:08:48,565 --> 00:08:51,336
Yeah, I'm sure panties will
drop when girls find out
230
00:08:51,337 --> 00:08:54,587
I was being pulled by
my dog on a skateboard,
231
00:08:54,588 --> 00:08:55,967
saw a monarch butterfly,
232
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:59,692
and said, "Hey, you're not
native to Florida"--crash.
233
00:08:59,693 --> 00:09:03,277
So change the story. Grayson has a scar.
234
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,873
He told me it was from
a motorcycle accident.
235
00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:07,608
Why don't you tell 'em what really happened?
236
00:09:07,609 --> 00:09:09,160
I don't want to.
Tell it.
237
00:09:09,161 --> 00:09:10,856
I burnt it on my curling iron.
238
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,783
It was the '90s. Shut up.
239
00:09:13,784 --> 00:09:15,469
Damn. Pretty boy had a perm.
240
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:17,566
There's my happy boy.
241
00:09:17,821 --> 00:09:20,189
Oh, man. This is all my fault.
242
00:09:20,321 --> 00:09:22,252
I never should have invented dog boarding.
243
00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:24,325
Now his life's falling apart.
244
00:09:24,754 --> 00:09:25,837
Get him out of here.
245
00:09:25,838 --> 00:09:28,605
Sorry. It's just so sad.
246
00:09:28,898 --> 00:09:31,855
I know what will help. Sorry.
247
00:09:34,681 --> 00:09:37,850
Look, Grayson. They sense your loneliness.
248
00:09:39,584 --> 00:09:41,074
Let them fix it.
249
00:09:45,996 --> 00:09:47,982
Oh, hey, you're still here.
250
00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:51,261
Yeah. I just wanted to watch him sleep.
251
00:09:51,517 --> 00:09:52,781
I'll stay with you.
252
00:09:55,597 --> 00:09:57,469
Oh. Okay.
253
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,324
Honey, there's a chair right back there.
254
00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:07,016
What's wrong?
255
00:10:07,017 --> 00:10:08,180
Well, it doesn't seem like
256
00:10:08,181 --> 00:10:10,372
you've been paying a lot
of attention to me lately.
257
00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:11,988
Oh, sweetie.
258
00:10:12,141 --> 00:10:15,035
Let me turn down the volume
of my son's heart monitor
259
00:10:15,036 --> 00:10:16,861
so I can focus on you better.
260
00:10:16,957 --> 00:10:19,060
When I imagined this
conversation on the way over,
261
00:10:19,061 --> 00:10:20,116
it went much better.
262
00:10:20,117 --> 00:10:21,733
No, you're doing great.
263
00:10:21,902 --> 00:10:23,549
Oh, great. You're awake.
264
00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:29,404
What?
Sometimes, when I need to think,
265
00:10:29,405 --> 00:10:31,674
I'll go blading at the
beach with my boom box.
266
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,848
Oy!
267
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:37,527
Dominated!
268
00:10:40,109 --> 00:10:41,245
Uh-oh.
269
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,412
Which one you tool bags
270
00:10:50,413 --> 00:10:53,309
said that girls can't
play this stupid game?
271
00:10:53,477 --> 00:10:54,619
You're on her team?
272
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:58,925
We bonded over your monster
feet and justice for women.
273
00:11:01,168 --> 00:11:03,709
A'ight. First of all,
girls throw like chicks.
274
00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:05,452
You know, sometimes y'all ruin our games.
275
00:11:05,453 --> 00:11:07,316
You know, you gals take
everything so personally
276
00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:08,444
and get all emotional.
277
00:11:08,445 --> 00:11:10,040
That's just a stereotype.
278
00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:12,528
That's like saying all blondes are dumb.
279
00:11:12,529 --> 00:11:14,865
But that--
Shh. Same team.
280
00:11:14,889 --> 00:11:16,579
Fine, you're in,
281
00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:19,796
but the second someone cries, game over.
282
00:11:19,797 --> 00:11:23,493
Yeah! Chicks versus sticks, y'all!
283
00:11:23,538 --> 00:11:25,361
Wait a minute. Where'd Andy go?
284
00:11:26,405 --> 00:11:29,963
Ohh! Dominated!
285
00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:31,912
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!
286
00:11:31,913 --> 00:11:32,610
Oh, my God.
287
00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:36,006
That was scary and humiliating
at the same time--
288
00:11:36,494 --> 00:11:38,355
the two things that make me cry.
289
00:11:38,356 --> 00:11:39,620
Fight it.
290
00:11:40,855 --> 00:11:43,013
I'm--I'm--o--I'm okay.
291
00:11:43,721 --> 00:11:44,527
Game on.
292
00:11:44,528 --> 00:11:45,489
Oy!
293
00:11:49,704 --> 00:11:51,344
I got your computer.
294
00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:54,256
Oh, I spoke to your teachers and
I got all your assignments.
295
00:11:54,257 --> 00:11:56,028
Oh, joy. Homework in the hospital.
296
00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:59,672
By the way, your bio professor Mr. Dawkins?
297
00:11:59,816 --> 00:12:01,527
Way into me.
298
00:12:01,528 --> 00:12:03,980
I could get you an "A" just
by making out with him.
299
00:12:03,981 --> 00:12:05,391
Well, I hate to burst your bubble,
300
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,121
but I could get that "A" myself...
301
00:12:07,505 --> 00:12:09,036
also by making out with him.
302
00:12:09,037 --> 00:12:10,924
Really? Him?
303
00:12:11,649 --> 00:12:13,724
Well, that was a wasted lip bite.
304
00:12:13,725 --> 00:12:15,005
A what?
305
00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:20,497
Okay, you realize I can't
un-see that, right?
306
00:12:20,929 --> 00:12:22,220
I'm sorry you're having to wait on me
307
00:12:22,221 --> 00:12:23,436
hand-and-foot in the hospital.
308
00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:25,540
I know it was supposed to be
all wedding, all the time.
309
00:12:25,541 --> 00:12:26,913
A.W.A.T.T.
310
00:12:27,028 --> 00:12:28,677
Is that "all wedding all the time"?
311
00:12:28,787 --> 00:12:30,400
A-what-what-what?
312
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:32,436
A-what-what-what-what-what?
313
00:12:32,437 --> 00:12:34,834
A-what-what? What-what?
314
00:12:34,835 --> 00:12:36,320
A-what? Okay, we gotta stop.
315
00:12:36,321 --> 00:12:37,566
I know.
316
00:12:37,652 --> 00:12:40,534
How have you held it together
with this whole Travis thing?
317
00:12:40,535 --> 00:12:42,429
I mean, if Stan even scrapes his knee,
318
00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:43,366
I totally freak out.
319
00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:45,980
Yeah, I agree, and I don't even have kids.
320
00:12:45,981 --> 00:12:47,342
You probably do.
321
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,077
One could have dropped out while
you were skanking around town.
322
00:12:50,078 --> 00:12:52,253
Teammates. Right, right. Forgot.
323
00:12:52,301 --> 00:12:54,011
Look, you both could handle this.
324
00:12:54,012 --> 00:12:55,656
This is what moms do in crisis--
325
00:12:55,657 --> 00:12:56,826
you get your family through it,
326
00:12:56,827 --> 00:12:59,300
and then when everything's
all better, you fall apart.
327
00:12:59,301 --> 00:13:02,631
Oh, I can't wait to become
a crying, snotty mess.
328
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:05,317
To total meltdowns.
329
00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:07,260
Oh, yeah.
330
00:13:07,464 --> 00:13:09,388
It's ready.
331
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,493
What is?
332
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,588
Revenge.
333
00:13:19,107 --> 00:13:20,261
Dominated..
334
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,424
Oh! Oh!
335
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,356
Hey, sweetie.
336
00:13:29,468 --> 00:13:31,277
Ah, there you are.
337
00:13:31,417 --> 00:13:33,704
Are you okay? You need a kiss?
338
00:13:34,122 --> 00:13:36,464
Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. I don't care.
339
00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:38,785
Well, here it comes.
340
00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:44,944
Uncool.
341
00:13:46,781 --> 00:13:48,071
You psyched to get out of here?
342
00:13:48,072 --> 00:13:49,598
Oh, totally.
343
00:13:49,599 --> 00:13:53,275
We cannot thank you enough... Dr. Gazelian.
344
00:13:53,276 --> 00:13:54,496
You remembered.
345
00:13:54,497 --> 00:13:56,000
Of course. I'll never forget.
346
00:13:57,154 --> 00:13:58,689
Would you like to say it again?
347
00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:00,177
I would not.
348
00:14:00,521 --> 00:14:02,896
So, Travis, you get to head back to college
349
00:14:02,897 --> 00:14:05,192
and jump into life like
nothing ever happened.
350
00:14:05,193 --> 00:14:06,424
And here's your helmet.
351
00:14:06,425 --> 00:14:07,476
My what?
352
00:14:07,477 --> 00:14:10,225
It's pretty standard in injuries like this.
353
00:14:10,226 --> 00:14:13,060
We don't want to risk
further trauma to the area.
354
00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:14,797
It's only for a couple of months.
355
00:14:15,132 --> 00:14:17,163
Look at my handsome boy.
356
00:14:20,953 --> 00:14:24,233
Ohh, I look so stupid.
357
00:14:24,234 --> 00:14:26,072
Not if you're going to a helmet party.
358
00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:27,705
What-what? Ta-da!
359
00:14:29,677 --> 00:14:31,133
Bobby, raise your visor.
360
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,710
I love you, son.
361
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,954
You guys are such dorks.
362
00:14:36,955 --> 00:14:40,756
This is an exact replica of the
helmet Amelia Earhart wore
363
00:14:40,757 --> 00:14:42,393
when she invented airplanes.
364
00:14:42,394 --> 00:14:44,965
Mnh-mnh. When her baby got stolen.
365
00:14:44,966 --> 00:14:45,659
Nope.
366
00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:50,075
Plus, I look super hot in
my riding helmet. Check it.
367
00:14:50,685 --> 00:14:52,453
Mnh-mnh. Mm-hmm.
368
00:14:52,454 --> 00:14:54,480
Why do older women keep doing that to me?
369
00:14:54,481 --> 00:14:56,359
We just want to send you back to college
370
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:57,548
with a smile, sweetheart.
371
00:14:57,549 --> 00:14:59,944
Well, I was gonna wait until
your eulogy to say this,
372
00:14:59,945 --> 00:15:02,297
but, ah, well, here goes.
373
00:15:02,393 --> 00:15:04,393
Jules Kiki Cobb,
374
00:15:04,573 --> 00:15:07,629
you were a great mom.
375
00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:09,568
Rest in peace.
376
00:15:11,915 --> 00:15:14,201
I'm so excited to die.
377
00:15:16,085 --> 00:15:17,980
Thank you, friend. And you know what?
378
00:15:17,981 --> 00:15:20,980
I want to take this time to
thank you for your patronage
379
00:15:20,981 --> 00:15:23,636
and to tell you that I hope
to see you around here...
380
00:15:24,133 --> 00:15:25,443
real, real soon.
381
00:15:28,296 --> 00:15:28,957
Wow.
382
00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:30,915
Did I just see you steal some human contact
383
00:15:30,916 --> 00:15:32,025
from a total stranger?
384
00:15:32,026 --> 00:15:34,488
Stop it, you big kook. Bam!
385
00:15:39,633 --> 00:15:40,828
Oh, my God. What's happening to me?
386
00:15:40,829 --> 00:15:42,562
Ohh. Who cares?
387
00:15:42,563 --> 00:15:44,564
Oh, yeah. Work the neck.
388
00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:46,457
Get off me, Andy, you weirdo.
389
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:47,484
All right.
390
00:15:47,485 --> 00:15:48,920
The gals are over at J-Bird's,
391
00:15:48,921 --> 00:15:49,799
but they're all wearing helmets,
392
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:50,995
so if you want to cause some damage,
393
00:15:50,996 --> 00:15:52,548
you gotta hit 'em in the knockers.
394
00:15:52,713 --> 00:15:54,928
I'm out. The girls are too mean.
It's scary.
395
00:15:54,929 --> 00:15:56,612
What? No, it's not.
396
00:15:56,613 --> 00:15:58,564
Really? Lift up your shirt.
397
00:16:00,917 --> 00:16:01,615
Ow.
398
00:16:01,616 --> 00:16:02,804
We're not quitting.
399
00:16:02,805 --> 00:16:04,564
I'm out, too, man, and...
400
00:16:04,799 --> 00:16:06,683
I really hate to disappoint you.
401
00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:09,751
Come here. I'm so, so, so sorry.
402
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,152
Dude.
403
00:16:11,153 --> 00:16:12,448
No words.
404
00:16:13,785 --> 00:16:16,217
Well, it's over. He's heading back.
405
00:16:16,286 --> 00:16:18,381
Way to go, super mom.
406
00:16:18,969 --> 00:16:20,257
And now that it's all better,
407
00:16:20,258 --> 00:16:23,445
you get to fall apart and have
your meltdown like you promised.
408
00:16:23,446 --> 00:16:26,212
You could throw some dishes,
maybe shave your head.
409
00:16:26,213 --> 00:16:28,243
I could never shave my head,
410
00:16:28,244 --> 00:16:30,526
not with these ears. Oh.
411
00:16:30,527 --> 00:16:32,757
I would look like one of those
monkeys holding the cymbals.
412
00:16:34,914 --> 00:16:36,893
Oh. Mm.
413
00:16:37,282 --> 00:16:40,700
You know, I don't know whether
it's Travis is getting older
414
00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:42,184
or I'm getting wiser,
415
00:16:42,185 --> 00:16:44,904
but I don't think I'm gonna
need to fall apart this time.
416
00:16:44,905 --> 00:16:46,996
What a rip-off. I was so excited.
417
00:16:46,997 --> 00:16:49,334
No. Big Carl can stay.
418
00:16:49,354 --> 00:16:51,177
He's there for good times and bad.
419
00:16:51,897 --> 00:16:52,999
I'm heading out.
420
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,913
Hey, Buster, I think the helmet
works better on your head.
421
00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:57,564
Yeah, but it's college,
422
00:16:57,565 --> 00:16:59,741
and it looks a little ridiculous, so...
423
00:16:59,742 --> 00:17:01,536
I can't wear it all the
time, but don't worry.
424
00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:03,857
I'll be careful. Peace.
425
00:17:07,773 --> 00:17:10,957
Yay. Here it comes.
426
00:17:11,861 --> 00:17:13,397
I don't understand you.
427
00:17:14,529 --> 00:17:17,506
I hate myself. I mean, I used to be a man.
428
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,601
You must love seeing me like this.
429
00:17:20,602 --> 00:17:21,912
I really do.
430
00:17:22,177 --> 00:17:23,940
As soon as you give your heart to someone,
431
00:17:23,941 --> 00:17:25,556
they just pull away.
432
00:17:25,685 --> 00:17:28,228
It's like I learned nothing
from Katherine Heigl movies.
433
00:17:28,245 --> 00:17:29,028
You can't go back
434
00:17:29,029 --> 00:17:31,573
to being an emotionally walled-off cyborg.
435
00:17:32,097 --> 00:17:33,904
That's how you messed
up your first marriage.
436
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,168
Stopped sharing your feelings,
437
00:17:36,236 --> 00:17:39,038
spent hours fixing a bread
maker that wasn't broken
438
00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:41,568
just to avoid another silent dinner.
439
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:44,324
How? I didn't even know you back then.
440
00:17:44,325 --> 00:17:44,941
When I got bored,
441
00:17:44,942 --> 00:17:46,828
I'd get a chair and sit
outside your window.
442
00:17:47,969 --> 00:17:49,580
I really liked your hair back then.
443
00:17:49,581 --> 00:17:52,901
Thanks. So did I, but
Jules likes it like this.
444
00:17:53,786 --> 00:17:55,056
I'm the lamest.
445
00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:58,001
Please. I roll around with strange dogs.
446
00:17:58,607 --> 00:18:02,156
You know, as men, I feel like
we're not asking for that much.
447
00:18:02,157 --> 00:18:04,292
I just want her to give me
attention when I want it
448
00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,188
and to leave me alone when I don't want it.
449
00:18:06,189 --> 00:18:07,273
Yeah, like a baby.
450
00:18:07,274 --> 00:18:09,848
Exactly. Just treat me like a baby.
451
00:18:10,135 --> 00:18:12,631
When we want affection,
they don't give it to us,
452
00:18:12,632 --> 00:18:14,221
but if we don't want it, they come running.
453
00:18:14,222 --> 00:18:16,541
The key is to never look desperate.
454
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:18,274
But you always look desperate.
455
00:18:18,326 --> 00:18:19,989
Didn't say I was good at it.
456
00:18:20,218 --> 00:18:21,325
You know, you should really let people see
457
00:18:21,326 --> 00:18:23,304
those paintings you've been
working on in your room.
458
00:18:23,305 --> 00:18:24,408
Stop spying on me.
459
00:18:24,409 --> 00:18:26,217
Stop being so talented.
460
00:18:28,129 --> 00:18:30,400
So you were worried about me.
461
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:32,996
I was freaking out.
462
00:18:32,997 --> 00:18:35,814
You know, I almost died
once at an amusement park.
463
00:18:35,873 --> 00:18:38,561
I got strangled by an Animatronic bear.
464
00:18:38,593 --> 00:18:40,768
Turns out when you throw a
whole cup of soda on them,
465
00:18:40,769 --> 00:18:42,283
those things go crazy.
466
00:18:42,284 --> 00:18:43,889
It doesn't make a whole lot of sense,
467
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,594
but they actually had to shoot it.
468
00:18:48,112 --> 00:18:50,577
Laurie's about to taste some dominance.
469
00:18:51,556 --> 00:18:53,728
♪ Your best friend's house ♪
470
00:18:53,729 --> 00:18:54,929
Oh.
471
00:18:55,963 --> 00:18:57,096
Oh.
472
00:18:57,317 --> 00:18:58,756
Ohh.
473
00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:01,608
This could have split your head open.
474
00:19:01,609 --> 00:19:04,064
Mom, it's just a squishy ball.
475
00:19:04,065 --> 00:19:05,624
Buckle up. Here we go.
476
00:19:05,625 --> 00:19:07,762
This squishy ball represents
477
00:19:07,763 --> 00:19:10,676
everything bad in the world
that can happen to you.
478
00:19:10,797 --> 00:19:15,785
So because of one freak accident
you're just melting down?
479
00:19:15,786 --> 00:19:17,188
I'm almost 20, remember?
480
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,486
You can stop worrying about me.
481
00:19:19,487 --> 00:19:21,597
No, I can't, you idiot!
482
00:19:21,636 --> 00:19:24,053
I will never stop worrying about you.
483
00:19:24,054 --> 00:19:25,589
You know, when you're 80
484
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,552
and I'm telling everyone that I'm 90--
485
00:19:27,553 --> 00:19:29,329
and getting away with it, by the way--
486
00:19:29,345 --> 00:19:32,720
I will still lay awake at
night in the nursing home...
487
00:19:32,852 --> 00:19:34,428
Where we live together,
488
00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:36,381
waiting for you to get home.
489
00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:39,547
She's crying.
That means we win dominance ball.
490
00:19:39,548 --> 00:19:41,997
True, but not the time.
491
00:19:42,028 --> 00:19:43,725
Travis, now that you're older,
492
00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:46,112
nothing's changed,
493
00:19:46,189 --> 00:19:48,860
except I can no longer tell you what to do.
494
00:19:50,038 --> 00:19:51,621
I can only ask.
495
00:19:53,476 --> 00:19:55,011
So please...
496
00:19:56,324 --> 00:19:59,737
Please wear that stupid
helmet, so I can sleep.
497
00:19:59,738 --> 00:20:01,869
♪ If you are afraid, don't be ♪
498
00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:05,176
♪ I have the whole thing planned ♪
499
00:20:05,177 --> 00:20:08,393
♪ we'll start in the ocean, baby ♪
500
00:20:08,938 --> 00:20:11,831
♪ when we find the land ♪
501
00:20:11,832 --> 00:20:13,643
I know you guys are all parents,
502
00:20:13,644 --> 00:20:17,085
but you know what scares
me most about kids?
503
00:20:17,248 --> 00:20:19,713
I mean, Stan may promise
not to cross the street
504
00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:21,706
and Trav may say he's
gonna wear that helmet,
505
00:20:21,707 --> 00:20:24,522
but once they're out of your sight,
506
00:20:25,261 --> 00:20:27,256
you never really know, do you?
507
00:20:27,257 --> 00:20:29,280
♪ And you've seen ♪
508
00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:31,948
♪ the way that things work ♪
509
00:20:31,949 --> 00:20:34,520
♪ but you need a compass to ♪
510
00:20:34,521 --> 00:20:36,248
Why isn't this working?
511
00:20:36,254 --> 00:20:39,662
♪ Get around your house ♪
512
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,899
Hey. Whatcha up to?
513
00:20:44,197 --> 00:20:46,372
Back to all wedding, all the time.
514
00:20:46,842 --> 00:20:49,209
Someone added a name to the guest list.
515
00:20:49,305 --> 00:20:52,393
"T. Gazelian"? Who the hell is that?
516
00:20:55,101 --> 00:20:56,988
Be cool. Sit back down.
517
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,312
Stop spying on me.
518
00:20:58,313 --> 00:21:00,889
Don't be desperate. Let her come to you.
519
00:21:14,402 --> 00:21:15,535
Scoot over.
520
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:25,760
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Corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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