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1
00:00:12,111 --> 00:00:15,095
[scoffs] If you ask me, any room
with Patty and Selma in it
2
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:16,600
is an escape room.
3
00:00:16,604 --> 00:00:19,121
I know you don't like
Patty, Selma,
4
00:00:19,199 --> 00:00:20,550
puzzles, or parties,
5
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:24,764
but try to enjoy Patty
and Selma's puzzle party.
6
00:00:27,292 --> 00:00:31,477
Comrades, as your damaged
Soviet submarine sinks,
7
00:00:31,634 --> 00:00:35,135
you must solve
a series of puzzles to escape.
8
00:00:35,158 --> 00:00:36,249
Should you need help,
9
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:39,235
you can request
up to five hints.
10
00:00:39,258 --> 00:00:40,924
[Patty and Selma chuckling]
11
00:00:41,003 --> 00:00:43,170
We've escaped
from every fake dungeon,
12
00:00:43,248 --> 00:00:44,432
zombie space station,
13
00:00:44,585 --> 00:00:46,677
and unlicensed Hogwarts
in this county
14
00:00:46,756 --> 00:00:48,348
with no hints.
15
00:00:48,502 --> 00:00:50,944
Good luck and do svidaniya.
16
00:00:51,056 --> 00:00:52,356
I escaped!
17
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,600
See you later.
18
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,512
[sonar pinging]
19
00:00:55,516 --> 00:00:57,458
Lisa, search
the captain's locker.
20
00:00:57,611 --> 00:01:00,129
Marge, torpedo bay!
21
00:01:02,287 --> 00:01:03,362
Hint!
22
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,049
No!
23
00:01:04,050 --> 00:01:05,457
No hints!
24
00:01:05,458 --> 00:01:07,539
[Squeaky-Voiced Teen]
That door is painted on, sir.
25
00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:09,206
You've used one hint.
26
00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:11,986
You ruined our perfect
hint-free streak,
27
00:01:12,066 --> 00:01:15,326
you Crisco-chugging
pistachio brain!
28
00:01:15,331 --> 00:01:17,164
Yeah? Well, you're a...
29
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,151
a, a... Hint!
30
00:01:19,230 --> 00:01:21,580
I don't know.
Something about her hair, maybe?
31
00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:23,511
That doesn't count as a hint!
32
00:01:23,664 --> 00:01:24,739
Yes, it does!
33
00:01:24,758 --> 00:01:26,758
[Patty and Selma snarling]
34
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:29,313
-Separate.
-[Homer grunting]
35
00:01:30,362 --> 00:01:32,195
[growls]
36
00:01:32,274 --> 00:01:33,590
[hissing]
37
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,017
Homer, away.
38
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,371
Patty, tss, tss!
39
00:01:36,523 --> 00:01:38,615
Selma, corner. Corner!
40
00:01:38,695 --> 00:01:41,338
[all grumbling]
41
00:01:42,721 --> 00:01:46,538
Why was I in another awards show
"in memoriam" package?
42
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:47,894
Oh, okay, then.
43
00:01:47,897 --> 00:01:50,064
Then why did they boo me?
44
00:01:50,143 --> 00:01:51,492
Oh, okay, then.
45
00:01:51,496 --> 00:01:53,630
Herschella!
46
00:01:53,650 --> 00:01:56,301
If you're wearing a robe,
cinch it.
47
00:01:56,306 --> 00:01:57,655
Aunt Sadie!
48
00:01:57,733 --> 00:02:00,476
My favorite aunt
who still talks to me!
49
00:02:00,481 --> 00:02:03,165
To what do I owe
this barging-in?
50
00:02:03,245 --> 00:02:06,597
Sideshow Mel asked me
to be a guest on your podcast.
51
00:02:06,677 --> 00:02:08,511
I have a podcast?
52
00:02:08,589 --> 00:02:10,164
Talking Krusty!
53
00:02:10,184 --> 00:02:12,774
It's that thing where people
who worked on a TV show
54
00:02:12,782 --> 00:02:14,430
talk about old episodes.
55
00:02:14,431 --> 00:02:15,528
What do you call it?
56
00:02:15,529 --> 00:02:17,846
A-a rewatch podcast.
57
00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:20,942
Why has this been hidden
from me?!
58
00:02:20,964 --> 00:02:23,039
[groans]
59
00:02:23,194 --> 00:02:25,044
[laughter]
60
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:27,718
So, right in the middle
of the Game of Thrones sketch
61
00:02:27,719 --> 00:02:29,553
where the thrones were toilets,
62
00:02:29,631 --> 00:02:31,540
the cue cards went missing.
63
00:02:31,561 --> 00:02:32,726
What a story!
64
00:02:32,729 --> 00:02:34,304
Only in showbiz.
65
00:02:34,325 --> 00:02:37,734
Why the hell didn't you tell me
about this show about my show?!
66
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,982
We begged you many times
to come on.
67
00:02:40,062 --> 00:02:42,078
Shut up,
you backstabbing traitor!
68
00:02:42,157 --> 00:02:43,899
Who the hell are you, Mustache?!
69
00:02:43,903 --> 00:02:45,678
And who's the skirt
in the pants?
70
00:02:45,756 --> 00:02:48,165
That's Wayne the Grip
and Jodie from Props.
71
00:02:48,245 --> 00:02:50,521
They've been with the show
since day one.
72
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,530
What? You don't recognize
the people
73
00:02:52,604 --> 00:02:54,178
who work on your own show?
74
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,532
Um...
75
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,610
Uh...
76
00:02:57,614 --> 00:02:59,539
Eh? Uh...
77
00:02:59,618 --> 00:03:01,376
[groans]
78
00:03:01,377 --> 00:03:04,368
You're crying because they're
doing a podcast without you.
79
00:03:04,369 --> 00:03:05,793
Now here's your chance!
80
00:03:05,948 --> 00:03:07,447
So sit your butt in the chair
81
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,971
and make with the reminiscing
with your friends from work.
82
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,547
Yeah, my friends from work. I...
83
00:03:12,570 --> 00:03:14,737
[chuckles]
Yeah.
84
00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:18,637
[boing]
85
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:19,915
[Mr. Teeny screeches]
86
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,400
[sighs]
87
00:03:21,479 --> 00:03:23,904
?
88
00:03:23,985 --> 00:03:25,317
We've solved every puzzle.
89
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,745
Why can't we find
the key to open the door?
90
00:03:27,746 --> 00:03:29,511
We've never failed
an escape room,
91
00:03:29,512 --> 00:03:31,328
and we're not starting now.
92
00:03:31,349 --> 00:03:33,107
Forgive me, Selma.
93
00:03:33,261 --> 00:03:34,836
Hint!
94
00:03:34,931 --> 00:03:37,881
The bald man who hates you found
the exit key 20 minutes ago
95
00:03:37,937 --> 00:03:40,938
and has been using it to scratch
his butt out of spite.
96
00:03:40,943 --> 00:03:42,961
[blissfully]
Spite.
97
00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:45,356
-[sonar pings]
-Your mission has failed.
98
00:03:45,361 --> 00:03:48,362
The frozen sea
has claimed your bodies,
99
00:03:48,367 --> 00:03:52,294
and your grieving children
will be sent to the gulag.
100
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,799
Happy birthday.
101
00:03:53,878 --> 00:03:55,227
We're dead?
102
00:03:55,306 --> 00:03:56,897
I'll kill you!
103
00:03:56,976 --> 00:03:59,953
-Separate! Separate!
-[others arguing indistinctly]
104
00:04:02,897 --> 00:04:05,506
[grunting]
105
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:06,902
We did it, boys.
106
00:04:06,905 --> 00:04:08,346
We prayed our way out.
107
00:04:08,424 --> 00:04:10,241
[Rod and Todd]
Yay!
108
00:04:10,261 --> 00:04:12,395
Birthday ruined!
109
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,621
[sighing deeply]
110
00:04:17,626 --> 00:04:18,892
Okay, so there we are,
111
00:04:18,893 --> 00:04:20,874
in the finals of the kids' show
softball league.
112
00:04:20,875 --> 00:04:23,375
-It is 110 degrees...
-[gasps] Huh?
113
00:04:23,455 --> 00:04:26,122
...and we're playing those
psycho cheaters from Bluey.
114
00:04:26,278 --> 00:04:30,113
They slide spikes up,
that's for sure.
115
00:04:30,135 --> 00:04:31,876
[laughter]
116
00:04:31,877 --> 00:04:33,975
And this is another activity
you missed out on
117
00:04:33,976 --> 00:04:35,342
with your work family?
118
00:04:35,345 --> 00:04:36,553
I wasn't invited.
119
00:04:36,554 --> 00:04:37,650
That's on them.
120
00:04:37,651 --> 00:04:39,134
Well, in our defense,
121
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,863
you don't seem like you want
to do things with the crew.
122
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,751
You don't look anyone
in the eye,
123
00:04:43,752 --> 00:04:45,833
you address people
by their shirt color-
124
00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:47,759
That's not true, Green Shirt!
125
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,157
Herschella Krustofsky,
126
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,916
you self-absorbed,
degenerate freak!
127
00:04:51,997 --> 00:04:54,755
You're a lonely, sad narcissist
128
00:04:54,759 --> 00:04:57,260
who has no connection
to his fellow man.
129
00:04:57,341 --> 00:04:59,783
You're an empty
Hollywood elitist clown
130
00:04:59,904 --> 00:05:01,863
who's gonna die alone
on a toilet
131
00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:03,867
kissing your own headshot!
132
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,966
I don't know
how to connect with nobodies.
133
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:07,466
It's not my fault.
134
00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:09,804
Listen up and listen good.
135
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:12,809
The problem is you!
136
00:05:14,209 --> 00:05:17,226
[crying]
Oh, my God, you're right!
137
00:05:17,382 --> 00:05:18,489
I'm the problem!
138
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:21,309
I worked with these good people
for 30 years,
139
00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:23,573
and I haven't made
a single friend!
140
00:05:23,652 --> 00:05:25,652
[crying]
141
00:05:25,656 --> 00:05:27,581
If I can't change,
142
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,585
I'll never be happy!
143
00:05:29,665 --> 00:05:32,241
[crying]
144
00:05:32,261 --> 00:05:35,354
And we'll be back after
this word from 3 Day Clams,
145
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,694
fresh clams from the sea
to your door
146
00:05:37,773 --> 00:05:39,948
in three business days.
147
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:43,873
[Sadie]
Listen up and listen good.
148
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:46,602
The problem is you!
149
00:05:46,624 --> 00:05:48,791
-Brake!
-[grunting]
150
00:05:48,795 --> 00:05:50,703
"The problem is you."
151
00:05:50,704 --> 00:05:52,301
[chuckles]
What a catchphrase!
152
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:55,120
We could build an entire TV show
out of that.
153
00:05:55,141 --> 00:05:58,735
Krusty's brash, no-nonsense,
"tell it like it is" Aunt Sadie
154
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,316
fixes broken relationships
in 30 minutes?
155
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,822
Exactly. Like Judge Judy
but we get the money.
156
00:06:04,902 --> 00:06:08,237
All we have to do is choose the
heaviest metallic sound effect
157
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,260
for when the title slams in.
158
00:06:10,414 --> 00:06:12,080
[clangs]
159
00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:14,163
[Krusty]
Coming up on The Problem Is You,
160
00:06:14,164 --> 00:06:17,499
Aunt Sadie faces
her toughest challenge yet.
161
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,595
And I'm there, too!
162
00:06:19,674 --> 00:06:22,933
What's hiding
behind those chuckles, hmm?
163
00:06:22,957 --> 00:06:27,184
Another glass of ros๏ฟฝ
will not fix this.
164
00:06:27,190 --> 00:06:30,616
[Krusty] And you won't believe
where the final finger points.
165
00:06:30,639 --> 00:06:33,890
The problem is you!
166
00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:37,148
Hmm... hmm...
167
00:06:37,226 --> 00:06:41,136
Oh! Old Maid looks
20 years younger!
168
00:06:41,143 --> 00:06:43,903
Dad, I thought
you hated family game night.
169
00:06:43,981 --> 00:06:45,031
No.
170
00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:48,061
I hated
extended family game night
171
00:06:48,083 --> 00:06:50,083
with your evil, terrible aunts.
172
00:06:50,161 --> 00:06:51,920
Can you please make up
with them?
173
00:06:51,998 --> 00:06:54,165
We really need six people
to play
174
00:06:54,187 --> 00:06:57,079
The Three Duos
of Half-Dozen Mountain.
175
00:06:57,101 --> 00:06:59,008
Honey, if I could wave
a magic wand
176
00:06:59,088 --> 00:07:01,513
and make Patty and Selma
not suck, I would.
177
00:07:01,594 --> 00:07:05,037
But it's probably best we get
used to never seeing them again.
178
00:07:05,117 --> 00:07:06,541
[doorbell rings]
179
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:08,045
[yelps]
Them!
180
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:09,714
Where's Marge? Is she okay?
181
00:07:09,793 --> 00:07:12,702
She texted us she fell off
the roof cleaning the gutters.
182
00:07:12,707 --> 00:07:16,041
I lied about that
to get you all here together.
183
00:07:16,065 --> 00:07:17,956
I did clean the gutters, though.
184
00:07:17,977 --> 00:07:19,810
And I did fall off the roof.
185
00:07:19,889 --> 00:07:21,313
After all these years,
186
00:07:21,391 --> 00:07:24,985
it's obvious I can't get the
three of you to stop fighting.
187
00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:26,474
[tires screech]
188
00:07:26,477 --> 00:07:29,044
But I think
I found someone who can.
189
00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:32,743
Homer, Patty, Selma,
190
00:07:32,823 --> 00:07:34,323
by the time I'm done with you,
191
00:07:34,327 --> 00:07:36,844
you'll be as close
as a family can be.
192
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,064
[all shriek]
193
00:07:42,601 --> 00:07:44,693
Marge, dear,
what's the who, why and how
194
00:07:44,772 --> 00:07:46,030
of this family row?
195
00:07:46,034 --> 00:07:48,126
Well, it's complicated.
196
00:07:48,246 --> 00:07:50,538
I hate jerks,
and they hate cool guys.
197
00:07:50,617 --> 00:07:51,708
End of story.
198
00:07:51,709 --> 00:07:53,790
We didn't like each other
from the start.
199
00:07:53,791 --> 00:07:58,460
But things got really ugly
at that fateful baby shower.
200
00:07:58,543 --> 00:08:01,635
[Selma]
We wanted that day to be perfect for our sister.
201
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:04,066
-And it was.
-[Patty] Until this idiot
202
00:08:04,144 --> 00:08:06,904
botched the one and only job
we'd given him.
203
00:08:06,984 --> 00:08:08,034
I got the cake!
204
00:08:08,078 --> 00:08:09,728
[yelping]
205
00:08:09,732 --> 00:08:11,398
We said a carrot cake!
206
00:08:11,402 --> 00:08:14,011
I know. But chocolate is
me and Marge's favorite.
207
00:08:14,016 --> 00:08:15,240
[hyperventilating]
208
00:08:15,243 --> 00:08:17,685
Luckily I brought
a backup carrot cake
209
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,524
because I knew
the Impreginator here
210
00:08:20,529 --> 00:08:21,844
would screw it up.
211
00:08:21,845 --> 00:08:22,924
[Selma and Homer grunt]
212
00:08:22,925 --> 00:08:24,516
You undermining land hags!
213
00:08:24,596 --> 00:08:25,686
What's the matter?
214
00:08:25,765 --> 00:08:26,965
You tell these traitors
215
00:08:27,025 --> 00:08:29,042
that your favorite cake
is chocolate
216
00:08:29,046 --> 00:08:31,271
and that you despise carrot cake
217
00:08:31,275 --> 00:08:33,959
because it's a garden salad
with frosting!
218
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,797
It's fine. It's fine.
219
00:08:35,876 --> 00:08:36,967
Please don't fight.
220
00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:38,803
[moaning]
221
00:08:38,807 --> 00:08:40,290
Mm-hmm. See? See?
222
00:08:40,294 --> 00:08:41,960
I like both cakes.
223
00:08:41,964 --> 00:08:43,014
No, she doesn't!
224
00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:44,816
Eat wrong cake!
225
00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:47,037
[grunting]
226
00:08:47,038 --> 00:08:50,146
[Marge]
It was at that moment I realized
227
00:08:50,147 --> 00:08:54,833
the only solution was to keep
my husband and sisters separated
228
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,657
from then on.
229
00:08:56,677 --> 00:08:58,043
So, Marge, who was right?
230
00:08:58,122 --> 00:09:00,564
What is
your favorite cake flavor?
231
00:09:01,929 --> 00:09:03,720
It's neither! I like vanilla!
232
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:04,857
Only vanilla!
233
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:07,177
The less flavor, the better.
234
00:09:07,182 --> 00:09:09,458
Vanilla is the opposite
of chocolate!
235
00:09:09,536 --> 00:09:11,128
Carrot is the opposite of cake!
236
00:09:11,207 --> 00:09:13,858
Marge ruined her life
when she met you!
237
00:09:13,863 --> 00:09:16,972
Shut up! I've heard enough
of your bip-da-bip-da-bip!
238
00:09:16,977 --> 00:09:18,385
You three disgust me.
239
00:09:18,504 --> 00:09:21,038
May you walk
under a falling air conditioner.
240
00:09:21,043 --> 00:09:23,544
That said, the problem...
241
00:09:23,549 --> 00:09:24,731
is you!
242
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:25,735
[all gasp]
243
00:09:25,736 --> 00:09:26,737
Me?
244
00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:28,221
How can I be the problem?
245
00:09:28,224 --> 00:09:30,057
I'm the Marge of this!
246
00:09:30,061 --> 00:09:31,561
Oh, please.
247
00:09:31,565 --> 00:09:33,656
If you actually wanted peace,
248
00:09:33,736 --> 00:09:35,419
you'd stop interfering.
249
00:09:35,573 --> 00:09:38,257
Let these three lunatics
work out their mishegoss
250
00:09:38,336 --> 00:09:39,853
among themselves.
251
00:09:39,856 --> 00:09:42,765
Why on earth
would I want them to fight?
252
00:09:42,845 --> 00:09:44,437
So you could be the martyr.
253
00:09:44,441 --> 00:09:47,683
You keep them separated
so they won't stop fighting.
254
00:09:47,684 --> 00:09:50,452
God forbid they should ever bury
the hatchet and, who knows...
255
00:09:50,453 --> 00:09:51,952
[chuckles]
become friends.
256
00:09:52,031 --> 00:09:55,942
Because then St. Marge
doesn't get to run the show.
257
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,392
-[Marge] Aah!
-[clattering] -[Santa's Little Helper howls]
258
00:09:57,393 --> 00:09:58,394
-[Lisa] Hey!
-[glass shatters] -[Snowball II yowls]
259
00:09:58,395 --> 00:09:59,728
[Marge]
Lamp. [grunts]
260
00:09:59,731 --> 00:10:02,547
That's the craziest thing
I ever heard!
261
00:10:02,552 --> 00:10:03,643
I'm the nicest!
262
00:10:03,721 --> 00:10:05,054
I love everyone!
263
00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:07,242
Out! Out! Out, out! Get out!
264
00:10:07,321 --> 00:10:09,747
I un-sign all the waivers!
265
00:10:09,825 --> 00:10:11,642
Shh, shoo, shoo, shoo!
266
00:10:11,646 --> 00:10:15,664
This is what showbiz is
all about, huh, Wayne the Grip?
267
00:10:15,665 --> 00:10:16,655
The camaraderie.
268
00:10:16,656 --> 00:10:17,825
Huh? Why do you know my name?
269
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,325
Please don't fire me.
270
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:22,346
I need to support my stepson's
illegal street racing habit.
271
00:10:22,351 --> 00:10:24,777
Relax, my fruit-vaping friend.
272
00:10:24,782 --> 00:10:26,114
I'm just like you-
273
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,526
a member of the crew family.
274
00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:30,700
Really? You always seemed
like you couldn't stand
275
00:10:30,701 --> 00:10:32,109
us below-the-line guys.
276
00:10:32,112 --> 00:10:33,778
[groans]
What I can't stand
277
00:10:33,858 --> 00:10:36,208
is that old-fashioned
Hollywood expression.
278
00:10:36,288 --> 00:10:39,214
Why should there be
some imaginary line separating
279
00:10:39,219 --> 00:10:40,552
the so-called "talent"
280
00:10:40,705 --> 00:10:42,815
from the hardworking riffraff
like you?
281
00:10:42,819 --> 00:10:47,321
If I could, I'd make it
so the line never existed.
282
00:10:47,322 --> 00:10:49,313
[chuckles]
That's pretty cool of you, man.
283
00:10:49,314 --> 00:10:52,724
You know, I'm hosting a crawfish
boil this weekend for the crew.
284
00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:53,896
You should come.
285
00:10:53,899 --> 00:10:55,899
You're inviting me
286
00:10:55,903 --> 00:10:57,827
to your that?
287
00:10:57,828 --> 00:10:59,351
Just watch out
for my friend Jimmy.
288
00:10:59,352 --> 00:11:02,002
He will flick you in the nuts
if you're not looking.
289
00:11:02,082 --> 00:11:04,582
I look forward to it.
290
00:11:04,587 --> 00:11:07,588
Where does that judgmental
old clown-aunt
291
00:11:07,593 --> 00:11:09,535
get off saying I'm the problem?
292
00:11:09,614 --> 00:11:12,281
How can I be the reason
you three don't get along?
293
00:11:12,282 --> 00:11:14,197
[chuckles]
That lady's off her rocker.
294
00:11:14,198 --> 00:11:15,530
Thank you, sweetie.
295
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:18,126
You always know
how to agree with me.
296
00:11:18,206 --> 00:11:20,473
Yes, I do.
297
00:11:21,789 --> 00:11:23,639
[scoffs]
As if there were a world
298
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,718
where I'd be friends
with my worst enemies.
299
00:11:26,723 --> 00:11:31,577
Hmm. Friends with Patty
and Selma.
300
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,931
What are you doing here, Homer?
301
00:11:49,011 --> 00:11:50,061
This isn't you.
302
00:11:50,121 --> 00:11:52,413
You're not this person.
303
00:11:53,186 --> 00:11:55,019
So, here we all are.
304
00:11:55,023 --> 00:11:57,857
If I could have stayed away,
I would have.
305
00:11:57,878 --> 00:11:59,361
Part of me wants to run.
306
00:11:59,365 --> 00:12:01,457
Part of me knows
I'm through running.
307
00:12:02,629 --> 00:12:05,723
Do you think there's any truth
to what the mean lady said,
308
00:12:05,878 --> 00:12:09,563
that we would be friends
if not for Marge?
309
00:12:09,569 --> 00:12:11,569
I know I don't want
to believe it.
310
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,890
We need to figure out
if this is real.
311
00:12:13,895 --> 00:12:16,820
I know a place where
we can explore these feelings
312
00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:19,251
discreetly.
313
00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:22,473
Patty and Selma,
welcome to Moe's.
314
00:12:23,690 --> 00:12:26,432
Weird how the sunlight stops
at the doorway,
315
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:28,254
like it's afraid to come in.
316
00:12:28,258 --> 00:12:31,034
Yeah, a scientist tried
to explain it one time
317
00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:32,496
and went crazy.
318
00:12:33,434 --> 00:12:34,784
[Moe]
Homer. Psst. Homer.
319
00:12:34,861 --> 00:12:37,454
Hey, I said "Psst."
320
00:12:37,534 --> 00:12:40,052
Who are these two goddesses?
321
00:12:40,131 --> 00:12:41,391
They're Marge's sisters.
322
00:12:41,450 --> 00:12:44,376
Midge has two hotter sisters?
323
00:12:44,456 --> 00:12:46,290
Patty and Selma.
324
00:12:46,294 --> 00:12:47,401
Pidge and Sidge?
325
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,388
Well, yeah, they're twins.
326
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,301
Oh, my God. Twins?
327
00:12:51,302 --> 00:12:53,140
I always dreamed of hooking up
with twins.
328
00:12:53,141 --> 00:12:56,900
Ever since I saw that old
commercial for the movie Twins.
329
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,668
Patty's a lesbian,
so I don't think-
330
00:12:58,669 --> 00:13:01,411
And one of 'em has
zero interest in men?
331
00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:03,416
I think I'm in love over here.
332
00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:04,922
How could you keep this from me?
333
00:13:04,923 --> 00:13:06,065
How could you do it?
334
00:13:11,027 --> 00:13:13,620
[all murmuring]
335
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:17,201
All these years we treated
each other like garbage.
336
00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:18,947
But it was Marge's fault.
337
00:13:19,027 --> 00:13:22,470
I hope we can find it
in ourselves to forgive her.
338
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:25,293
Seeing as we're such great
people, we probably will.
339
00:13:25,374 --> 00:13:28,608
To the three... amigos?
340
00:13:29,715 --> 00:13:34,142
Four. You're so fat,
you count twice.
341
00:13:34,225 --> 00:13:35,407
Zing!
342
00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:37,227
-[all laughing]
-Twice.
343
00:13:37,231 --> 00:13:40,582
Said the spinster with
a toilet brush for a head.
344
00:13:40,663 --> 00:13:42,180
Zing!
345
00:13:42,257 --> 00:13:43,423
[all laughing]
346
00:13:43,424 --> 00:13:44,745
-Good one.
-Now that we're buddies,
347
00:13:44,746 --> 00:13:48,440
our horrible insults
are just delightful zings.
348
00:13:50,014 --> 00:13:52,090
Look, Homer, it's your head.
349
00:13:52,110 --> 00:13:54,094
It's even got your IQ.
350
00:13:54,098 --> 00:13:55,188
Zing!
351
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,192
[metallic scraping]
352
00:13:57,272 --> 00:14:02,199
[Homer straining] It's like I'm
being crushed by two sacks of wet mail.
353
00:14:02,206 --> 00:14:04,140
[Patty and Selma]
Zing!
354
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:08,309
Did you have to audition
for this part
355
00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:10,310
or did your agent
just get a call?
356
00:14:10,314 --> 00:14:11,864
[whispers]
Zing.
357
00:14:13,137 --> 00:14:15,988
38 minutes. No hints.
358
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:18,067
I stayed out of the way.
359
00:14:18,147 --> 00:14:19,404
Homer?
360
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:20,833
[all yelp]
Marge!
361
00:14:20,836 --> 00:14:24,654
[muffled] Dad, are you hanging
out with Patty and Selma?
362
00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,918
-[laughing nervously]
-No, the thing is...
363
00:14:26,922 --> 00:14:28,756
It seems like you guys
are friends.
364
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,005
-[stammering nervously]
-Wh-Why would I...
365
00:14:31,024 --> 00:14:34,933
If you guys are getting along
without me,
366
00:14:35,015 --> 00:14:37,198
the problem is me.
367
00:14:37,202 --> 00:14:39,044
[clangs]
368
00:14:44,476 --> 00:14:46,217
-Open. Open.
-[munching]
369
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,315
Friends.
370
00:14:47,316 --> 00:14:48,633
[Patty]
Unlikely friends.
371
00:14:48,634 --> 00:14:50,484
[Homer]
Remember, no splashing.
372
00:14:50,485 --> 00:14:52,474
-[water splashing]
-[laughing] Oh, no.
373
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:55,068
Mom, you should go down
and join them.
374
00:14:55,073 --> 00:14:56,556
No, I'd only cause trouble
375
00:14:56,575 --> 00:14:58,316
because I'm the problem.
376
00:14:58,317 --> 00:14:59,246
[worried grunt]
377
00:14:59,247 --> 00:15:01,565
Of course you're not.
378
00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:03,326
No, I am. It's fine, though.
379
00:15:03,327 --> 00:15:05,743
Your father and my sisters
getting along was my dream
380
00:15:05,744 --> 00:15:07,413
and it happened
and now my life is perfect.
381
00:15:07,414 --> 00:15:08,913
Hooray for TV therapy.
382
00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:10,216
Hooray, hooray, hooray.
383
00:15:10,217 --> 00:15:12,256
So perfect that you're up here
watching them
384
00:15:12,257 --> 00:15:15,425
while you refold laundry
that's already been folded.
385
00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:18,115
Maybe I don't do things right
the first time.
386
00:15:18,193 --> 00:15:20,211
Or any time.
387
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:21,440
[Marge groaning]
388
00:15:21,443 --> 00:15:23,718
Bart! Mom has candy!
389
00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,705
Candy, candy, candy,
candy, candy.
390
00:15:25,726 --> 00:15:27,226
[groaning continues]
391
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,896
[sobbing]
392
00:15:28,975 --> 00:15:31,976
I ruined everything.
393
00:15:32,055 --> 00:15:34,865
Candy?
394
00:15:35,972 --> 00:15:37,580
[tires screech]
395
00:15:39,069 --> 00:15:41,712
[groans]
396
00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:45,411
Krusty, you made it.
397
00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:47,600
Like I'm not gonna
drive three hours
398
00:15:47,604 --> 00:15:49,996
to be with my crew family.
399
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,018
You got a little water prison
for the kids. Nice.
400
00:15:53,023 --> 00:15:54,339
Oh, it's a pool.
401
00:15:54,343 --> 00:15:57,344
No, pools go in the ground.
402
00:15:57,345 --> 00:15:58,700
Oh, you got to meet
my neighbors.
403
00:15:58,701 --> 00:16:00,351
That's Phil. He's a cop.
404
00:16:00,355 --> 00:16:01,445
Joe, cop.
405
00:16:01,524 --> 00:16:03,357
Uh, cop, cop, cop.
406
00:16:03,361 --> 00:16:05,878
Uh, I love law enforcement.
407
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:07,475
And laws.
408
00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:10,555
Hey! Little help, K-dawg?
409
00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:12,226
Oh! I can do this.
410
00:16:12,303 --> 00:16:14,379
I bet on this sport.
411
00:16:14,384 --> 00:16:16,067
[grunts]
412
00:16:16,144 --> 00:16:18,570
[guests gasping]
413
00:16:18,575 --> 00:16:20,316
[children screaming]
414
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,321
[crying]
415
00:16:23,402 --> 00:16:25,761
Walk it off, Jayden.
Walk it off.
416
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:32,582
The dunes
are calling your name, bro!
417
00:16:32,587 --> 00:16:34,436
[grunting]
418
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,515
-[laughter]
-[cheering]
419
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,037
My stepson's stepson,
420
00:16:38,115 --> 00:16:40,207
he built this baby out
of boat parts!
421
00:16:40,286 --> 00:16:43,879
So, no brakes or safety features
to weigh you down.
422
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,777
Smart.
423
00:16:45,781 --> 00:16:46,871
Is there a helmet?
424
00:16:46,949 --> 00:16:49,617
Statistically,
you're safer without one.
425
00:16:49,622 --> 00:16:51,379
Got to do your own research.
426
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,475
Okay, I can do this.
427
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:56,072
Just take it slow and steady.
428
00:16:58,081 --> 00:17:00,323
-[yelps]
-[crashes]
429
00:17:00,327 --> 00:17:02,477
Hey, the CPR worked!
430
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:05,251
And when your heart stopped,
which heaven did you see?
431
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,763
Jet Ski paintball next weekend
at Concrete Lake, K-dawg!
432
00:17:08,764 --> 00:17:09,662
You in?
433
00:17:09,663 --> 00:17:11,938
Wouldn't miss it.
434
00:17:12,135 --> 00:17:15,431
[announcer]
It's The Problem Is You
435
00:17:15,432 --> 00:17:18,359
Season Finale Reunion Special!
436
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,289
[cheering, applause]
437
00:17:21,353 --> 00:17:22,686
Welcome!
438
00:17:22,689 --> 00:17:26,281
On our first hit season,
we solved a lot of problems.
439
00:17:26,305 --> 00:17:27,620
And here they are now!
440
00:17:27,699 --> 00:17:28,881
[audience cheers]
441
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,219
So, how's everybody doing?
442
00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:34,637
Yes, well, when you find out
that you're the problem,
443
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:35,882
even though
you could have sworn-
444
00:17:35,883 --> 00:17:38,141
and I mean with every fiber
of your being-
445
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:40,812
that it was the other guy,
it's very, well,
446
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,984
I don't know, freeing?
I don't know.
447
00:17:43,005 --> 00:17:45,005
I was so controlling
of Percival.
448
00:17:45,009 --> 00:17:48,010
But now I just let him
roam free.
449
00:17:48,091 --> 00:17:51,000
Oh, Aunt Sadie,
you changed all our lives.
450
00:17:51,005 --> 00:17:54,765
Once you helped Marge step back
from decades of sabotaging us,
451
00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:56,587
it's been so good for her.
452
00:17:56,591 --> 00:17:58,366
-Right, honey?
-That's right.
453
00:17:58,370 --> 00:17:59,777
I'm gonna be honest.
454
00:17:59,856 --> 00:18:01,373
There was a time when I thought
455
00:18:01,525 --> 00:18:03,692
maybe we were doing
something wrong.
456
00:18:03,773 --> 00:18:06,498
But we were
completely blameless.
457
00:18:06,612 --> 00:18:07,903
Not me. I'm to blame.
458
00:18:07,981 --> 00:18:09,389
The problem is Marge.
459
00:18:09,468 --> 00:18:12,710
All those things that used to
bother me about Marge's sisters,
460
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:14,307
they just don't anymore.
461
00:18:14,311 --> 00:18:15,902
I can remember, for example,
462
00:18:15,905 --> 00:18:17,630
when I wouldn't be able to stand
463
00:18:17,634 --> 00:18:19,725
the way he's breathing
right now.
464
00:18:19,805 --> 00:18:22,155
Oh. W-Was I breathing loud?
465
00:18:22,156 --> 00:18:23,069
I'm sorry.
466
00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:24,313
Doesn't bother me either.
467
00:18:24,314 --> 00:18:27,499
Good, because the cigarette ash
in your eyebrows
468
00:18:27,578 --> 00:18:28,628
doesn't bother me.
469
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,008
I'm not sitting here, thinking,
470
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,268
"How could there be
so much of it?"
471
00:18:32,269 --> 00:18:33,348
[Selma and Patty murmur]
472
00:18:33,349 --> 00:18:34,848
Kumiko, tell me,
473
00:18:34,849 --> 00:18:37,765
is your husband still skipping
the episode "previously on"s
474
00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:39,435
even though you find them
helpful?
475
00:18:39,436 --> 00:18:42,183
You want to know something else
that doesn't bother me?
476
00:18:42,184 --> 00:18:45,369
That he only cuts his
fingernails on his left hand.
477
00:18:45,448 --> 00:18:48,967
I'm a righty, so I can't use
the clippers with my left!
478
00:18:48,973 --> 00:18:52,716
Again, it doesn't bother us.
479
00:18:52,721 --> 00:18:54,371
[chuckling nervously]
480
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:56,633
Marge, you want to step in here?
481
00:18:56,714 --> 00:18:58,155
You mean separate you?
482
00:18:58,233 --> 00:18:59,774
Oh, no. No, not me.
483
00:18:59,887 --> 00:19:02,287
I don't do that anymore.
484
00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:09,493
You disgust me!
485
00:19:09,494 --> 00:19:10,999
-Groom yourself!
-You first!
486
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,910
You don't yell at
a reunion show, you sick morons!
487
00:19:13,915 --> 00:19:16,524
Look at these losers I cured.
488
00:19:16,604 --> 00:19:18,511
Cheapskate- fixed!
489
00:19:18,515 --> 00:19:20,608
Daddy issues- fixed!
490
00:19:20,686 --> 00:19:21,736
Impotent-
491
00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:23,430
came to terms with.
492
00:19:23,434 --> 00:19:24,934
[Kirk sighs]
493
00:19:24,938 --> 00:19:26,362
You fixed nothing!
494
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:29,866
You plaster over real problems
with an easy catchphrase.
495
00:19:29,867 --> 00:19:32,969
These three have hated each
other since the moment they met,
496
00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:34,714
and all you did
was give them a reason
497
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,682
to not feel guilty about it.
498
00:19:36,795 --> 00:19:39,295
Don't talk to me about guilt.
499
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,742
I invented guilt!
500
00:19:40,819 --> 00:19:43,395
No! It's my turn to yell!
501
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:45,475
And point and point and point!
502
00:19:45,479 --> 00:19:48,071
You can't solve relationships
in 30 minutes.
503
00:19:48,152 --> 00:19:51,261
It requires years
of constant hard work
504
00:19:51,341 --> 00:19:54,768
and deep self-reflection
from all parties!
505
00:19:54,848 --> 00:19:58,167
I didn't sign up
for self-reflection.
506
00:19:58,172 --> 00:20:00,522
Now you want me
to work at my marriage?
507
00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:01,767
Oh, I'm leaving you.
508
00:20:01,846 --> 00:20:03,696
And I'm taking the pugs!
509
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:06,442
[overlapping arguing]
510
00:20:06,464 --> 00:20:08,022
I'm Marge Simpson,
511
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,801
and the problem is not me.
512
00:20:10,955 --> 00:20:12,121
I see it now.
513
00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:13,883
The problem's not me either.
514
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,814
I was wrong to try
to form human connections
515
00:20:16,968 --> 00:20:18,819
with the people
that work for me!
516
00:20:18,972 --> 00:20:21,231
Well, I don't think
that's the lesson.
517
00:20:21,235 --> 00:20:24,478
Why should I spend time
with anyone below the line?!
518
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,649
The line is there for a reason.
519
00:20:26,672 --> 00:20:28,580
The line is an absolute good!
520
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:30,992
The line is life!
521
00:20:31,072 --> 00:20:33,180
I always knew
that guy was a phony.
522
00:20:33,259 --> 00:20:36,686
Hey, let's go rub our butts
on his sushi.
523
00:20:36,841 --> 00:20:38,025
Don't you leave me!
524
00:20:38,102 --> 00:20:41,754
I've got an hour to fill
with you mental cases!
525
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,161
[growls]
526
00:20:45,601 --> 00:20:48,878
You need my yelling!
527
00:20:52,206 --> 00:20:54,815
I'm so sorry
for your loss, Krusty.
528
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,212
Who said you could talk to me?
529
00:20:57,292 --> 00:20:59,067
Oh! Here we go.
530
00:20:59,071 --> 00:21:00,553
That's Jimmy!
531
00:21:00,554 --> 00:21:02,150
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
532
00:21:02,151 --> 00:21:04,229
and
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
533
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,732
and TOYOTA.
534
00:21:05,733 --> 00:21:10,243
Captioned by Media
Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
535
00:21:13,416 --> 00:21:16,246
[Sideshow Mel] If you're like me
and you love shellfish
536
00:21:16,247 --> 00:21:17,682
and you're not in a hurry,
did you know that 94% of clams
537
00:21:17,683 --> 00:21:21,017
are perfectly safe to eat
after three business days?
538
00:21:21,023 --> 00:21:23,282
So the next time it's Wednesday
539
00:21:23,361 --> 00:21:26,621
and you feel like having clams
on the following Monday,
540
00:21:26,627 --> 00:21:29,128
visit 3DayClams.com.
541
00:21:29,132 --> 00:21:31,114
Order a dozen littlenecks
542
00:21:31,194 --> 00:21:32,802
and get a shucker for free.
543
00:21:32,881 --> 00:21:34,864
Though with three-day-old clams,
544
00:21:34,868 --> 00:21:37,702
they practically open
themselves.
545
00:21:37,707 --> 00:21:40,041
One taste and you'll say, "Wow,
546
00:21:40,046 --> 00:21:43,230
these clams are fresh enough."
547
00:21:43,310 --> 00:21:46,478
Consult your physician
before ordering 3 Day Clams.
548
00:21:46,558 --> 00:21:48,892
See terms and restrictions
at 3DayClams.com.
549
00:21:48,897 --> 00:21:52,841
Delivery and/or food poisoning
concerns? Call 1-555-CLAM-HELP.
550
00:21:52,922 --> 00:21:54,972
-Shh!
-3 Day Clams is not an endorsement
551
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,934
of eating three-day-old clams.
552
00:21:56,984 --> 00:22:01,534
Repair and Synchronization by
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