All language subtitles for Sex Love and goop S01E06 - Fireworks (Awafim.tv)

[sensual music playing]

[buzzing]

I know that sound.

[chuckles]

[Gwyneth]
We have been living in this society,

and all of us have been fed
all of these messages

that continue to get us further away
from who we actually are

and how we actually feel…

[Erika] Oh my God.

…and what we actually want.

[Darshana] We're going to focus
more on sexual activity.

You don't see this every day,
[laughs] I tell you what.

It's our responsibility to come back
to the center of who we are…

We had sex homework.

Her energy was like…

[buzzes]

[Gwyneth] …and to act from that place.

[whispers] Will you go deeper?

And who doesn't want that?

Today, we're going to start now
integrating what you've learned here.

You're here having an experience,

but what's important is
integrating this at home.

-Right, exactly.
-This is just an experience otherwise.

-Right?
-Right.

And so,
in terms of integrating, is I want us

to think about how to create
these containers at home.

Okay.

So, a container is simply just

being conscious about what it is
that you are going to explore erotically.

So, it's something that
holds us in our erotic exploration,

so that we can expand all the way
to the edges of that container.

If we have no container,
we stay like this.

Whereas, if we have a container,
we can explore all the way to the edges.

So, the way that you set a container at
home is, "Here's what we wanna explore."

Mm-hmm.

The duration is how long
you're going to do the experiment,

and then the last piece is the follow-up.

What worked about this?

What was awesome?
What do you want to do more of?

[soft percussive music playing]

Setting the container and the context.
So, the context for this

is that he is the artiste,
and you are the piece of art.

You're going to become
a living piece of art here.

You get to pose her,
like a goddess pose with your arms out,

and then that becomes like
the bondage of the ropes, right?

She has to keep her hands, or she can move
every now and then, and you let her move.

Nice.

Part of integrating for any couple

is taking something
they already have in their life,

and put it into a fun game
and use it in their sex life.

Knowing that he was an artist,

I just had this thought,

one of the main things
that's gonna bring this home

was for him to incorporate her
as the work of art.

I want you to do this.

[mellow percussive music playing]

[Jaiya] So, now we're in design.

Kind of him moving
through the energetic blueprint,

playing with it, but the kinky,
and setting up the context

of, she has to hold these poses.

And then the sensuality
of the brush on her body

and her being able to feel that.

All right.

[Jaiya] So we're using these blueprints
that were her primary blueprints,

energetic, kinky and sensual.

But we're tying it into this thing that
he does on a regular basis with his art

by making her that piece of art.

There. Right there. Oh. [laughs]

Oh, wow.

[laughs]

You are a gorgeous warrior goddess.

[chuckles]

[Jaiya] We're innovating.

How can you innovate
more in your erotic life

before things go south?

With this, we're going to go
through each sense at a time.

-[Damon] Okay.
-[Jaiya] So, there will be tastes.

There will be touch,

there will be sounds,

and there will be smells that
you will be experiencing throughout this.

So, take a deep breath.

And you're going to begin
to be touched by things.

Mm.

[Jaiya] We take sex way too seriously.

We have to put play back into it.

Now just open up your ears.

[popping]

[scraping]

Sound, touch, mixing it all together now.

[dings]

[soft rustling]

-Open up.
-[Erika] You don't have your eyesight.

You're having to use all your senses.

You can kind of guide your head to what
you're hearing or what you're feeling.

[whispers] You're beautiful.

The mystery of it, that kind of in itself,
was just refreshing.

-I noticed you really responding to sound.
-Yeah.

Damon, your voice is very sexy.

-I don't think about it as much, but…
-[chuckles]

It's like, "Oh, nice."

You wanna play a little
with this sound we're discovering,

-'cause it's also energetic.
-Mm-hmm.

Just come up to her heart,
and you're gonna go like, "Ah,"

a deep "ah" sound over her heart.

Ah…

[all chuckle]

[Jaiya] I love it.

[humming]

[Jaiya] Oh, yes.
You feel the vibration of that.

Yeah, I like that one. Yeah.

Damon and Erika learned
all this stuff on the table,

but then to take what they learned
and put it into a fun game

and see how they could put that
into context and use it in their sex life,

it takes it into fun,
and it takes it into play.

'Cause this experience is great,

but doesn't mean anything
if they go home to their default mode.

Both of you are going to be blindfolded.

You're going to find him.

Oh.

So, it's a game of hide-and-seek.

But you're feeling the energy.

So, now begin.

Go slow.

-Okay.
-Feel. Go even slower.

Perceive with your bodies.

[Erika] There's so many possibilities
with what we learned today

that's just got my mind going crazy.

Like, you can incorporate games,
you can incorporate music,

you can incorporate food, blindfolds.

When we were both blindfolded,
I was moving around like…

I knew there was
a really big prize around here somewhere.

[both laugh]

[Jaiya] Just hold here.
Breathe together for a moment.

That was hot. That was pretty hot.

Just share with each other
something that was awesome about that.

It felt like I was hunting her out.

-[Jaiya] Mm.
-Yeah.

Like she was in some bushes,
and I was, like, trying to find her.

[laughs]

-[Jaiya] And was that exciting for you?
-Yeah.

Because there's your kinky access
right there.

We just found it.

-Nice.
-We just found your access into the kinky.

I gotta make you
get down and hunt more often.

[Jaiya laughs] Uh-huh.

[Damon] I love that we found
some kink that she's into,

and I'm into it because she's into it,
and now I'm into it because…

-You're into it.
-…I'm into it.

[both laugh]

[kisses]

[Gwyneth] We don't learn
a lot of honest communication.

If we're all brave enough to really start
to peel back the layers of our own onion,

get truly in touch with who we are,

and be brave about
the communication of those things,

we would be able to really get somewhere.

It's hard to ask your partner too.

"Is this okay? Do you like this?"

I tend to overthink things a lot,
and I think, "Is this a good idea?"

And if I want to try something new,
I'll keep it inside.

One aspect in communication is learning

why is it so hard to speak
with somebody who you actually love?

And how can we bridge that?

[mellow percussive music playing]

We're gonna do this
in a deliberate structure,

where one of you
is gonna be the active giver,

and the other
the active receiver of the touch.

I would like to be more communicative

during sex or before sex,
or even about sex,

and I would like to be
more comfortable talking about,

"This is what I would like."

"Can I please have this?"

Are you comfortable? Do you want to shift?

-Ah.
-[chuckles]

Now… And this is, like,
a teachable moment.

We're used to keeping
ourselves in discomfort

to try to make someone else comfortable.

That was a great example.

What's gonna make me comfortable
is your comfort.

Mm.

For Camille, a lot of this work is about

how she navigates
not needing to appease other people

at the cost of her own basic comfort,

and so a lot of this work is about
embodying a new way of relating,

and having that be imprinted.

So, you need to give some guidance…

-Absolutely.
-…as the receiver.

What I'm gonna invite you to do right now
is consider, "Well, what would I like?"

I would like to lay on my stomach and
for you to give me compression on my back…

-Yeah. Of course.
-…if that's possible.

-Want me to sit on you?
-I kinda like--

You moved because you weren't
sitting on me, but I like it when you do.

-Want me to sit on you?
-Yeah.

-[Darshana] Straddle her.
-All right.

And, Camille, good job
asking for what you want.

Thank you. Will you sit back more? Like--

No, don't move.
Just put more weight. Yeah.

-On your butt?
-Yeah.

Can you keep your hands
on my rib cage and just press down?

Like that? Okay.

[Darshana]
Beautiful specificity in your request.

Thank you.

-You mind if I flip back over?
-Yeah.

Put your legs behind my legs…

-Okay.
-…and just hug me.

-Yes, ma'am.
-Yes, please.

[Darshana] Oh.

Yeah.

Now we're going to explore
sexological bodywork with you, Camille.

-So let's get ready for it, shall we?
-Okay.

Let's do it.

Recently, I was asking
a group of my friends,

"You know, what is your comfort
for asking for something?"

And almost no one at the table
felt comfortable asking for something,

even in a really healthy relationship

where they felt
really safe with the person.

So I don't know if that's changing now
in these next generations,

but I still think I have
a lot of work to do with that.

Like, I think it's so imprinted to just,
like, go along with everything, you know?

Yeah. I think that is something to
aspire to for anyone in a relationship,

is that you are able to say, uh…

Oh, and simple things like,
"I'd like milk in my coffee."

They put half and half, and you go,
"I'd like milk in my coffee," right?

-Right.
-That's how you build boundaries…

-Yeah.
-…with that little stuff.

That's like…
You know, it's like a workout.

And then you can set
the proper big boundary,

because you actually have practice
where it doesn't matter that much.

[birds chirping]

[Jaiya] Just hold her close and…

sway a little.

He gives the best hugs ever.

I invite you to play this evening.

Maybe you feed her some in that blindfold.
Take that blindfold home with you tonight.

Oh, nice.

And your homework is going to be

lovemaking with that blindfold on.

[Damon chuckles]

-[Jaiya laughs]
-Oh, different.

[Jaiya] And "lovemaking"
doesn't necessarily mean intercourse.

Intercourse could be included.

And then afterwards
have a little discussion

about, how did this go?
How's that homework sound?

-That sounds awesome. I'll take it.
-It does. [chuckles]

Is that right?

Let's hear your sexy voice right now.

[Jaiya] Have fun.

-Okay.
-[all laugh]

[Erika] Thanks, Jaiya.

[Erika] Look at how
you eating that fry, baby.

[laughs]

We're sitting here trying to map out what
we're gonna do tonight for our homework.

I'm thinking blindfolds.

And just, like,
maybe check on each other's energy.

-Some light touching.
-Mm-hmm.

Pretty sure I can find something
around here to tie you down.

Oh.

To be continued.

[soft percussive music playing]

[Darshana]
Just go ahead and flip onto the table.

-[Camille] My feet are very cold.
-Then I will…

Thank you! You're gonna get a blanket
on your feet because you said so.

Yes.

That is how this works.

-Tell me what you need, you get it.
-[giggles]

[Darshana]
You're ultimately in control here.

All right. I'd love to just do a little
general, like, pelvic-region massage.

Sex bod is one-directional in nature,

because many people… Like, the only way
we come to know things about our sex

is usually connecting with a partner.

And I know that compression has been
a really enjoyable touch for you.

All the partner dynamics
come into the mix.

It's like, "Oh my God. Are they okay?
Do I smell okay? Do I look okay?"

Like, all the stuff that comes
into the room when it's inter-relational

prevents a lot of people
from having a chance to get to know

whatever their home base is.

Sometimes, what's really nice

is to vacillate between, like,
the firm, steady compression

and then to have, like, very soft touch.

And so sex bod really provides that.

It's an opportunity where you do not
have to be thinking about somebody else.

And for a lot of people it's like, "Whoa!"

Because they've never had that before.

And I'm going to now come right
up the center and now over your clitoris.

Does this touch do anything for you,
good, bad, or otherwise?

-Not really. I'm indifferent about it.
-Not really? Okay.

And now, how about this?

Yeah, that's… I like that more.

Okay, so, the first touch was just
me gliding over your clitoral hood.

Now I'm pinching both sides.

So, I want you to see this, 'cause…

The glans of her clitoris
is sitting right in there.

I feel it like a little pearl.

I'm wondering
how that feels to you, Camille.

I don't mind the bottom part,
but the top part I'm not enjoying.

-[Darshana] That?
-Yes.

Done.

And the, "I don't mind,"

like, that's not actually
a satisfying enough answer for me, so--

"It's all right. I don't mind."

Yeah, we're not doing "I don't mind."

We're not doing "tolerating."

-I don't like it.
-We're doing, like …

"This is what feels good
to my body. I want that."

Okay.

I'm enjoying that, like,
soft in one and firm in the other.

Soft in one, firm in the other?

Ooh. Thanks.

So we'll do that.

This is a great way to invite
a gradual building of arousal.

Anything you want to ask, please know
that you can be included in this too.

Yeah, of course. I'm good right now, but…

I'm just observing now.

I think I might be ready for toys,
if that's an option.

-[Darshana] You know it is.
-I know.

Okay.

Monsieur.

[laughs]

I would be interested to start
with something that vibrates.

-This is it?
-Yeah.

-Okay.
-All right.

[Darshana] I really loved that
she wanted to experiment

with some of the different toys,

and I wanted her to feel
very encouraged and empowered

in her choices around that.

So, just, like, a nice…

I can give you that kind--

-The pressure. I like it.
-You like that. There.

Like, we know that. You like compression.

I do.

[buzzing]

You want me to go deeper or stay there?

-Deeper.
-Deeper?

It's all the way.

Would you like to drive?

-No.
-No. [laughs]

So, I can still rub her perineum,

then I can really give her compression,

and then the vibrator's doing
all the rest of the work. [chuckles]

-It is.
-[Darshana laughs]

I feel more present than I have
ever felt before too, which is… new.

[Darshana] Yeah.

[gasps softly]

[whispers] Will you go deeper?

[moans] Uh-huh.

[Darshana]
Ask for what you want, you get it.

[moans]

Oh God.

[panting]

[Darshana] Breathe.

[exhales]

[buzzing continues]

[Darshana] Yeah.

Why am I still convulsing?

[Darshana] Sweetheart, this can go on
for a good long while, you just let it.

A slow-building eruption
with multiple waves,

and then the aftershocks that rippled out,

which was a very new experience for her.

Your tears, your orgasm,
they're not separate.

I feel, like, paralyzed almost.
Like I can't move.

[Shandra] You don't have to.

She hadn't known
something like that in her body before.

So, now it's not just like,
"Oh my God, I had an orgasm,"

it's, "Wow. Like,
I had that kind of orgasm."

"That is possible in my body."

That originated from her body.

Oh, thank you.

[Camille] I just got back to my room.

I don't know what else
to say but, like, holy shit.

I'm kind of questioning
if I've ever had an orgasm before,

because I don't think I've ever had
anything that's ever felt like that.

The literal vibrations that are
happening through my body right now…

I feel alive, and I feel like…

I don't know how else
to say it, but I feel real.

I feel like a real person right now,

and, um… it's…

It's wild to me.

I'm in shock, so…

[Jaiya] Okay, so I want to check in
on homework last night.

-Fireworks.
-It was awesome.

[Damon] She was ramped up,

and her energy was like…

[buzzing]

-That's awesome.
-[Erika laughs]

I think it was just freeing,
and not in your head as much.

-Yay! That was the goal.
-You're not in your head.

I mean, for the most part, I was…

I was just, you know, going for the ride.

-[laughs]
-You don't have to do much.

-No, yeah.
-That less is more piece, right?

And, actually, I was the one that was,
like, initiating the penetration.

-It did surprise me. It did…
-Uh-huh.

I was like, "Oh, Erika."
But I was like, "I'm going with it."

-Yay!
-[Damon] Yeah.

And I was on top, and it was awesome.

You knew what to do on top.

Yeah. I was kind of moving differently,
and it was just kind of rolling with it.

And I was like,
"Oh, I'm rolling pretty good."

[all laugh]

And we both had orgasms.

-You did?
-Yeah.

-Oh, yeah.
-Which was awesome.

I mean, you forgot about that part?

-That's the other big highlight.
-I love that.

I love that you just
forgot about that part.

Because it's not… The focus
has been taken off of having orgasms…

Yeah.

And now you're in
the enjoyment of all of the pleasure.

A-plus-plus-plus-plus.

-A-plus-plus.
-[laughs]

-Congratulations.
-[Erika] Thank you.

Really, congratulations to both of you,
because this doesn't always happen.

Sometimes I have to work with a couple
for a year. We fast-tracked this,

and part of what made it so successful
was your willingness, so, beautiful.

It was just so huge and magical
that they'd had that growth,

and that we'd met the outcomes.

It's why I do this work.
It's those moments. It's worth it.

It doesn't end here, but once you go home,

that's, you know, that's the key,
is that we're designing your sex life.

-Not letting it go into default.
-Right.

[Jaiya] Too many people
wait until there's a crisis,

versus the smart couple who says,

"Let's do all this and explore all this,"
just because they're hungry.

So, have that hunger,
because that hunger is

what's gonna keep it passionate
and hot for the rest of your lives.

Okay, so I want to close
with wins, insights, and learnings

-from our entire time together.
-Uh…

A really big win-insight for me was

to dive into the idea
that we're both energetics,

and feel you completely.

Thank you.

I learned that my clitoris isn't broken.

-[laughs]
-[Jaiya] Yay!

It's fully intact and 360.

[both laugh]

I learned

that my wife is kind of kinky.

[laughs]

[Erika] A win…

We came here and did this together.

I think that's, like,
the biggest win of all, really.

I think that, you know,
the step that we took to even

be brave enough…

-Courage.
-…and honest enough and--

Yeah, the courage that we had
to say that we needed help,

and we don't know
what we're doing a lot of times.

So, thank you so much.

Thank you.

I wanna thank you
from the bottom of my heart.

It's been a pleasure.

[all chuckle]

Oh my gosh.

Mmm.

[percussive music playing]

[laughs]

[woman 1] Hug somebody.

[woman 2] You guys are awesome.

[Erika speaking indistinctly]

[Gwyneth]
When we first started this project,

I knew it was going to be
a profound experience for all of us,

but this exceeded our expectations.

[Jaiya] See this?
This is energetic orgasm.

[Amina]
Introduce your animal to each other.

[Michaela] Lead Felicitas on a little
journey through your inner landscape.

[Darshana] What do two
vulva-bearing bodies do together?

It's been extraordinary to realize just
how much there is that we don't know

about who we really are as sexual beings.

Your mom cannot watch this.

[moaning]

We owe a great deal
to the practitioners who took the risk

of letting cameras document
their work for the very first time.

We're not just showing up by the stork.

We are actively fucking each other,

and so somebody needs to start having
conversations about what that looks like.

Thank you so much for sharing.

[Gwyneth] The most gratitude
goes to the couples

and their willingness
to be vulnerable on camera.

Am I gonna have an orgasm
before I have a baby?

I'm so excited
because they have such a chance now.

[Dash] I mean, I'm open to, like,
doing more of this work.

I really feel like
the possibilities are endless.

For many of us, this journey
to full sexual realization means

overcoming deeply entrenched
shame and negativity

towards ourselves and our bodies.

[Joie] I do have a negative body image.

Amina's perspective,

it's definitely made me
think about that more and more.

-I, you know, earned these wrinkles.
-Yeah.

We know that there is
no shame in needing help,

because most of us are
shockingly ignorant about female anatomy.

That's the whole clitoris.

[chuckles]

When Jaiya pulled out
the stuffed animal clitoris thing,

I was, like, "Holy shit."

There's no shame
about knowing about our ear.

Why is there shame
about knowing about our genitals?

This is my body.

Is that the most beautiful woman
in the world walking through this door?

-How are you?
-Hello.

The biggest takeaways for me
were just taking your time.

You know, I don't want
to feel any pain during sex.

-And, luckily, lately, we haven't.
-Yeah.

Did we just have sex
on the bathroom counter?

Maybe.

The bottom line is that there are

transformational sex
and intimacy techniques

you can learn if you're willing.

Guess what came in the mail?

Women's Anatomy of Arousal.

[laughs]

I think at the core of this work
and the core of sexuality

is about uncovering, "Who am I really,

underneath all of
the cultural conditioning?"

[Felicitas] It's refreshing
to learn that sex and romance

do not just
come easily years into a marriage,

but that seems to be
the work that is worth doing.

Even though the road to get there
is super uncomfortable

and maybe full of tears or,
you know, hard to process,

that's our right to do that, and it's
our right to really listen to ourselves.

I don't say these words casually

when I say, like, it changes everything
when you claim your erotic wholeness.

We're just getting started. [laughs]

I think the takeaway was, "Gosh, it's
a lot simpler than we think," you know?

It's like, if you really get
super honest with yourself,

like all of the couples in this series do,

life just starts to open up.

[Damon] She's pregnant.
We're having a baby.

[Erika] All right, we're gonna
turn 'em around and see. One, two…

[both gasp]

[both laugh]

It's a boy!

Oh, congratulations, baby.

-Oh baby.
-[laughs]

Thank you, Jaiya. Congratulations to us,

via the work we did through your sex camp.

[laughs]

-Oh my gosh.
-[chuckles]

Happy Father's Day, baby.

[clinking]

[upbeat music playing]