Original subtitles

THIS FILM IS NOT SUPPORTED BY THE FLEMISH AUDIOVISUAL FUND

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

Yes, men.

As with everything in life, only one can be the best.

I heard that before.

It's getting painful over here.

Cut it out.

What did I say? It's gonna be a bloodbath.

Just play, Glenn.

Really?

What are you doing here, Philomena?

My name is Pippa.

You're kidding. Does it also say so on your ID?

Yeah, show us your ID.

Was that really necessary?

Look at this, this was a clean shirt. You stupid cow.

I'm not a stupid cow. - Don't be ridiculous.

Ciao.

Are we here again? You're awake, so everyone is awake?

Sorry, I had a really weird dream. - I have to go to work later on.

Me too.

Boy, oh boy.

I am Pippa Rombouts and I'm often late. Not extremely late, but still.

My ID actually says Philomena Rombouts...

...and I will never forgive my mother. I hate that name.

What good are candles and glasses...

Philomena is a monkey...

Philomena, come down at once.

No. - Come down.

No. - What is the problem anyway?

How difficult can it be? The problem was that stupid name.

Listen, sir. If you're gonna be play hard-ball, I have bad news for you.

Because playing hard-ball happens to be one of my specialities.

Loser. - My boss. Olivier Dumoulin.

Wears his heart on his sleeve. - Proletarian.

Ollie for his friends. So for me...

Mr Dumoulin. Whoops.

Who's always slyly gawking at my butt. Gross.

That sneaky look of him feels like a suppository slipping in.

You were late again this morning, Rombouts.

Only ten minutes. - Yes, but...

...I have 48 employees. If they're all ten minutes late...

...we're talking about 480 minutes.

That's exactly eight hours. One working day.

And who has to pay for that? Did you ever think about that?

I'm sorry, Mr. Dumoulin. - That will not make us rich, will it?

Oh, and good morning.

Louba Lannoo. My best friend, also out of the office.

Louba is lazy, forgetful, sometimes drinks too much, which makes her a bit vulgar...

...but the day she changes jobs, I am gone as well.

I'm positive.

And that's Sabine. Sabine is smart, social, sexy...

...and an incredible slut. And that all starts with an S.

All men dream about Sabine. I think that's obvious.

Even I sometimes dream about Sabine.

Ready?

Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Everything okay, honey? - Hey, Sabine.

Everything okay? The most stupid question ever...

...and people ask it a million times a day.

Of course everything is not OK and it will never be OK either.

Everybody knows that by now.

Everything going alright today?

Absolutely, dumpling. I'm feeling amazing.

Sabine gets wet when she looks in the mirror in the morning. I'm sure of it.

And dumpling? I can't stand that word. I'm not fat.

Glenn used to call me dumpling sometimes. But only if he wanted me.

It's been ten months and four days since he used that word...

...and he was drunk at the time.

He wanted to try something else, but that didn't happen.

The greasy bastard. No way. Not with Pippa.

I really don't get why men get turned on by that.

Heterosexuals, I mean. I suppose it's different for gay men.

When they really want to fuck, they have no other options.

However, Leon, Louba's nephew and his boyfriend Leo...

...are gay and they want nothing to do with that.

No, it's such a cliché. It's disgusting and makes the sheets sticky. Gross.

Our back doors are closed. Not open for business.

We know a lot of games which are so much more fun, right?

Once and never again.

I couldn't sit for three days.

Do you like it?

I asked if you like it.

Yes, it's pasta.

A bit bland.

And really salty.

Yeah, sure. I don't think so. Here, loser.

You wanted to give him an obvious sign? - Yes.

By pulling your panties over your head at the table.

What else should I have done? - What type of panties were they?

Does it really matter? Just the ones I was wearing.

But was it a thong or were you wearing granny panties?

Come on.

And then you just sat there with your naked pussy?

Glenn must have been shocked. - Yes, definitely.

What's your point?

What's more interesting, that smartphone or me?

Do you really want me to give you an honest answer?

There used to be a time when you thought I was interesting.

That's not really hygienic, is it? We're having dinner.

So you think my panties are dirty?

Aren't you wondering why I'm sitting here like this?

No.

Jean Rombouts, my grandpa has never been a big fan of Glenn.

He is a bafoon. A windbag. A pedantic clown.

A slacker.

But you never listened. Admit it.

I admit it, grandpa.

Throw him out, let him go live somewhere else.

And if he doesn't want to? - Then we'll have someone break his legs.

And who's gonna do that? - I'll find someone.

Some Albanian who needs money. Those guys love to do that.

Yes, great solution. Then Glenn will be in a wheelchair for three months...

..and you'll go to prison for five years. - I'm an old man.

They won't put me in jail. They have a lack of space as it is.

Just think about it.

How much will it cost? Five, six hundred euros?

A lot cheaper than a lawyer, trust me. And a lot less bullshit.

Your grandpa is right, Pip.

We're against violence. - I'm not.

Violence is the weapon of the weak. The word is stronger than the fist.

Yes, Leon.

Go get us something to drink. Or this fist will punch you in the nose.

Maybe that will change your mind, you pussy.

Oh, look at her.

Just go and live together. You'll be begging me to come back in two days.

If it takes that long. Macho's.

You know what you need? A good lawyer.

Uncle Corneel.

No marital contract?

Not good. It means you're automatically married...

...in community of property according to the legal system.

But I paid for that house myself, with the money my grandpa gave me.

Before or after the party? - After.

And whose name is on the deed? - Mine.

And Glenn's too.

But he didn't put in any money. Not a penny.

People do stupid things.

They don't think. And when it's too late, they come to us.

'People do stupid things. They don't think.'

Thinking is all that I do.

And after that I do stupid things. Talking about stupid things...

Let's agree that you'll keep your underwear on this time.

Louis Crombez, retired notary. My father-in-law.

And that's Lizette, never worked, but also retired. My mother-in-law.

Nope, not al dente.

I like it.

A bit bland.

Not really a star in the kitchen, is she, my boy?

I can say that, right, Philomena?

But I'm sure she has other qualities.

Well, I like it. Very tasty with the chicken.

That's fish.

Seriously? - Swordfish.

I could've sworn it was chicken.

That's because her fish is too dry.

And what about my grandchildren? Let's talk about that.

Mom, please. - She's not getting any younger.

And watch out, because it goes fast when you're past you thirties.

Before you know it her eggs will be useless.

You still have time. - That's not true, Louis.

You need to get on with it, son. All my friends are already grandmothers.

Really?

There aren't any problems, are there? Something medical? That it won't work?

Cause if that's the case, I think we have a right to know.

We're talking about our son here. And our grandchildren.

You understand that, right?

Am I right or what, Louis? You say something!

Look.

Is it carnival already?

In some cases physical violence against women should be allowed.

Without punishment. And I mean it.

Ciao, bitch.

She thinks it's funny. Do you see that, Louis?

Is that normal?

She doesn't care about how we feel. She only cares about herself.

And that's who you married, son.

Something wrong? - We no longer make love.

Alright, you want sex? - No.

Then what's the problem?

That is the problem. That neither one of us feels like it anymore.

That's not normal, is it? I'm not even 30 years old yet.

You've never been a horny bunny. - Oh, no?

At least, I never noticed it.

I'm going to sleep.

One more thing, your mother is a witch.

She's an old woman. - And old witch, then.

You're really a stupid chicken. Or a dry fish, whatever.

I would've made her eat her ugly hat.

You'll never believe this. - Trust me: I will.

And she will too, so don't tell us.

You're not a nice colleague, Louba. Do you realize that?

You're not really happy, are you?

All that negative energy. - Negative energy?

Moi? - Yes, Louba.

You know what? Go knit a hat on the toilet.

And when you're done, don't bother showing it to us.

This will not work out, Pip.

Let someone break his legs, throw him out and find someone else.

Someone else?

The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the hill.

Is there any grass left on your side at all?

Can't be very much.

Are the ladies bothered by the people who are trying to work here?

Because we could all stop for a while.

Happy hour, party time. Glass of wine, some snacks.

I've been getting the idea that we're a little overstaffed here.

I could be wrong, but I don't think so. What do you think, Lannoo?

Tomorrow you're going to the slaughterhouse, lazy mule.

Turn you into a fricassee or cat food.

A sausage anyone?

Me. It took you long enough.

I'm a huge animal lover. I should become a vegetarian.

But I don't want to miss our barbecues...

...because every time we share our most intimate feelings.

Sometimes I like to get nailed hard against a wall.

I don't need all that chatter beforehand every time.

Especially not when I have to get to work the next day.

No thinking, just wham bam. And then go to sleep.

But it has been a while.

Since we got married, it's always been 'wham bam' with Glenn

I'm there.

That's not cool.

I hate screamers. I find it so primitive.

When you're in a restaurant and you like the food, you don't go...

And food is so much more important than sex.

A week without sex is annoying, but try not eating for a week.

Glenn doesn't scream, he oinks.

Do you make a lot of noise?

No.

You yodel.

Do you really have to tell them that? That's private.

Just once and it was for fun.

It was hilarious. I was in bed with a drunken Tyroler.

Yodeling, that's so weird. And that was when you were...

Come on now.

Let us hear it. - What?

Yodeling. We don't need to see the rest. - No, forget it.

Come on, we won't tell anyone. - Have you forgotten how to do it.

Or do I have to blow your horn first?

What are you doing? - You're snoring.

So? - I can't sleep.

And then there's that moment you've had enough. Just like that, over.

I want a divorce.

Good morning to you too.

I mean it, Glenn.

There's nothing between us anymore. I don't want to go on like this.

OK.

OK? Is that all you have to say?

Yes.

But it's over between us.

And where are you going to live? - Me? Here. You'll have to move.

Really?

But that's not fair, I paid for this house all on my own.

I could be wrong, but I don't think that's on the deed.

His father drafted that deed. - Yes.

He wanted to stay in the city. - That's not true.

I like the country.

Nice and quiet. A squirrel climbing in a tree...

...the singing of the birds. - You hate birds.

What makes you say that? The great woodpecker, fantastic bird.

The wagtail, the blue tit, the meadow pipit.

The meadow pipit? - Anthus pratensis.

Often mistaken for the tree pipit, the Anthus...

Trivialis. Or the Eurasian skylark. But the tail of the meadow pipit is...

Longer. - Yes, longer.

I can look at it for hours. - Until they shit on your car.

Colleague, there are two options. We let someone appraise the house...

...and she pays half of the amount to my client...

...or we sell the house and the amount is split in half.

You only live once, Pippa. And when it's over, it's over. Forever.

So you have to make choices, dare to change course.

There's no second life in case the first one doesn't work.

So, do you like it?

Not too salty, too bland?

Where are you sleeping tonight? - In my bed, where else?

I don't think so, that's my bed. I picked it out and bought it.

Really? - Yes.

And who picked out the table? And that fancy couch?

You did.

So go snore over there.

You're not sleeping in the same room as me anymore, let alone in the same bed.

You're on a slippery slope.

Sorry.

Something is going on here.

I can feel it.

Sorry Pippa, but Olivier wants to speak to you.

Right now? - Yes.

Rombouts, our collaboration has come to an end.

Our collaboration? What do you mean?

I'm firing you. You don't have to come in tomorrow. What don't you understand?

Only because I was five minutes late?

The headcount needs to come down, reorganization, call it what you want.

I could give you a sad story, but the result is the same.

Someone has to go.

But I've been working here for five years now.

Great, so it's gonna cost me, isn't it?

Are you with a union? - No.

Good, that makes it easier.

Hey, nobody died.

So, go to accounting for the paperwork.

It has been a pleasure. Good luck with...

I knew it. - I'll punch him in the face.

That doesn't solve anything, Louba.

Who does he think he is? I'll call in sick tomorrow, for a week. No, a month.

He can answer his own phone. And I'll spit in his coffee.

No, I'll put my tampon in it. That'll change his tune.

Not now, Sabine. - I don't get it.

Hello. - Hello, what?

I'm so sorry, Pippa.

This is not fair. It's not the way an employer ought to treat his people.

There's still something I would like to say.

Your breath smells terrible.

Like a rotten plaice someone puked on.

And it's always been like this, since the first day I started here.

And something else, you're a disgusting pervert.

Always gaping when something in a skirt walks by.

I can't imagine your wife enjoys that.

What? - What I just said.

And neither do your children.

That's what I wanted to say.

A rotten plaice?

What are you doing? These are my good clothes.

That's my bed.

You're early. Did Ollie let you go already?

How can he know?

Did you call my boss?

Did you... - You brought it on yourself.

Right, okay.

Right, you want war? I will give you war, buddy.

I warned you. Just wait and see, he's gonna take you for all you've got.

And then you'll have to sell the house.

But that's not gonna happen.

That loser has no idea what he's gotten himself into.

Give me ten minutes. - I'm coming with you.

That's not a good idea. It's better if they don't see you.

Do you really think this is a good idea? - Yes.

I don't know. What if it goes wrong?

What can go wrong? If I was ten years younger, I'd do it myself.

But I'm coming with you.

This is not a good idea.

And why his fingers?

So he can no longer play with his smartphone.

Two thousand euros all-in.

That's a lot of money.

We're not a bunch of amateurs, sir.

For that price we could have him killed.

Then we might as well go to the Albanians.

Did you hear that?

Albanians.

They don't play by the rules, so they can offer low prices.

They don't pay taxes, sir.

And afterwards there's always trouble.

If we agree to treat our friend here to a good beatingg

...and then break his fingers, that's exactly what will happen.

Nothing more and nothing less.

That's our business, sir.

With Albanians you know where you start but not where you end up.

Tell me about it.

I'd like a little more time to think about it.

You know where to find us, miss.

Sprint? - Yes.

Then how will Glenn know what's up?

I will have to use subtlety.

Like, 'someone seems really mad at you.'

Or, 'this time it ended well, but who knows what'll happen next time.'

And he can't prove anything. It's his word against mine.

Right?

I don't know, Pip.

But you're always saying: break his legs, kick him out, find someone new.

That was just a figure of speech. - Wait a minute.

How do you break someone's legs as 'a figure of speech'?

I don't know, I'm kind of taken by surprise at the moment.

There must be other ways to scare him.

How? By yelling boo when he walks in?

Yes, he'll move right away. Problem solved.

We have a visitor. - There you are.

We're not happy, Philomena. - Hi, mom.

This is how I picture hell, being in one room with Lizette Trumpet and my mother...

...the door is locked because Glenn swallowed the key.

Why does Glenn have to sleep on the couch? Does that seem normal to you?

He has to be well rested to go to work.

And I don't, cause I don't have a job anymore. That boy took care of that.

What kind of nonsense is that? - Ask him.

Don't be so childish, they must have been dissatisfied with you.

We're separating, mom.

She only thinks of herself. Spitting image of her dad.

My dad left and moved to Spain the day before I turned 12.

He left a note on the kitchen table.

'Sorry, Pippa. Your daddy.'

He never was a man of many words.

That happens when you live with my mother.

What the hell are you thinking?

I want him to get his stuff and move out.

She's seen the light. - And now it's your turn.

Louis, you should say something. - Well...

These things are never easy...

Now you're out of a job I would think about that carefully.

Who's gonna want you? You're not 20 anymore.

Exactly, you should be grateful you still have our Glenn.

Don't let her do this, show me you have more character than your father.

Yes, mom.

Stop that.

Those are all clean clothes.

What a cliché. I'm not picking that up. - Fine, leave it right there.

You're nuts.

I'm sorry. I was cleaning up the house.

Where is Leo?

On his way, he had a big surprise.

How is Glenn?

Big party, that's obvious.

What's that on your head?

What? You don't like it?

I got tired of that bald head.

It looks a bit creepy.

It looks ridiculous.

What do you think, Pippa?

Well, it's certainly different. Is that real hair?

Yes. - That is so gross.

Someone else had that on his head. - Yes, that sounds logical to me.

You're not sleeping in my bed like that.

You can go yodel somewhere else tonight.

Can you really tell it's not my own hair?

Even people who don't know me?

The man in the store said it looked really great on me.

Can I touch it?

Much better.

I'm not gonna ask it back.

Problem solved.

But it was custom made. Do you know what that costs?

And his soup is also ruined.

I think we should get drunk tonight.

Now you're talking. - I'm in.

Me too.

is there no one who sees your tears

so beautiful, so blond and so alone

that should not be

so beautiful, so blond and so alone

so beautiful, so blond and so alone

that should not be

Good night. - Watch your fingers.

Bye, honey. - Bye.

Good night, be careful.

and Glenn's mother is a whore - is a whore

and Glenn's mother is a whore - is a whore

and Glenn's mother is a whore is a whore, all together now.

and Glenn's mother is a whore

No, I'm not drunk.

Pippa is not drunk.

Oh, that's broken.

Hey, what are you doing up there?

What do you think? It's half past one and this is a bedroom.

It's my bedroom.

Have you been drinking? - No.

Open that door. - I don't think so.

Just sleep downstairs. - But I can't get inside.

Why not? - Because I don't have a key...

...you stupid ass. - You do have a key.

But I can't find it. - That's a real pity.

Truly a pity.

Come downstairs. Then it'll soon be finished.

Dumbass, come on.

Always a big mouth, but when it comes down to it...

Come down, piss ant.

One-one.

I'm never drinking again.

Me neither. - It's like I swallowed a dead mouse.

What are you gonna do now?

Knock all of his teeth out.

Good plan. - Yeah, I think so too.

so beautiful, so blond and so alone - Ouch.

that should not be

Good afternoon, madam.

Nico Geuzebroek, expert appraiser from Real Estate Geuzebroek and Partners.

What a lovely house.

He'll make an independent estimate of the house's value.

So we know what we're talking about.

That's important, if we decide to sell.

We're not selling.

It's still an option at the moment.

I'd dare say our office has, in this field...

...extensive expertise. 57 years of experience.

With my brother I'm the third generation de Geuzebroek in this business.

Mr Geuzebroek from Real Estate Geuzebroek and Partners, I'd rather burn it down.

War only makes sense if you have a chance to win.

There are other houses.

You're still young. Leave the past behind you.

Cut the strings and start anew. With your head held high.

What...

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

That's a real calorie bomb. Not good for my figure.

Give me your plate.

And what about relationship therapy? Ever considered that?

Jacques and Ronny did it. - Yeah, and they split up a year ago.

In a relationship you have to make clear rules from the start.

Like? - Like who's in charge in bed.

That's me. In the kitchen men can be in charge, I don't care.

Because you don't know the difference between red beet and red cabbage.

I'm still on time, right?

Hello, Glenn.

Hello, mister goblin.

Just party on.

How nice. The other butthole taster is also here.

I really figure out what Pip ever saw in you.

You're just a disgusting, pretentious, horribly frustrated certified ass.

Wow, that's a mouth full.

And I'm trying to keep it polite.

I couldn't have said it better.

Did you get this wine where I think you got it?

Listen, little mouse, you can do with Pip what you want, I don't even want to know.

But you do not touch my wine. Do you understand?

Do you understand me?

Get out, the party is over.

Don't be ridiculous, Glenn. - Grab your purses and your knitting gear.

There's the door.

Don't be an ass. This is my house.

For now.

I think we better leave, Pippa.

Now you're talking.

Sorry, guys. Really.

Leave it, honey. Civilization doesn't come overnight.

It's not your fault you got married to such an oaf.

Maybe a little bit. - Yes, maybe a little bit.

Must have been an expensive bottle. Upsetting him like that...

What did I ever see in him? I don't get it.

Pip, do you see those branches?

I'll race you. But if I win, you'll have to marry me.

You're kidding. - Nope, you'll have to.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Good morning.

We didn't wake you, did we?

Listen, I'll keep it short.

You're splitting up, so one of you has to move.

I've discussed this with your mother. You don't have any money, we do.

So we'll give you half of the value of this house...

...and Glenn stays here.

Then you can rent an apartment and don't have to sleep on the couch anymore.

Everybody wins.

Him and you maybe, but not me.

Well, I'm sorry but you don't have any money to buy him out.

You don't even have a job, so you can't even get a loan.

You'll be sorry.

Hey, put me down.

Put me down.

Put me down.

Put me down.

Those really tiny peckers are a waste of time.

I like to use both hands when I'm eating.

But I don't need a French baguette either.

And when these small pecker men are driving they get aggressive.

They're always the first to give you the finger. Look here, that's how big mine is.

Sheer compensation. Lot of books been written about that.

I personally don't know that many small peckers.

You know more than you think, trust me.

But most of them don't flaunt it in public.

They can't fool me. Give me ten men with their clothes on...

...and I'll point them straight out.

Want me to call the waiter to organize that?

I'm sick of it. I can't stand another little pecker anymore.

That's 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

I thought you'd be back sooner.

There's a time for everything.

Right.

Finally.

Good evening, sir.

Sorry to bother you, but we don't have good news.

What are they doing?

So, how much do you get paid for this? Like 200, 300 euros?

Did you hear that?

No need to get rude, sir. - No, no.

You wouldn't be the first one to regret it.

We're no amateurs. - No, no.

But it also hasn't made you rich.

Well, get on with it.

What's going on?

This is bad, call the cops. - And how am I going to explain this?

Let me think. Are they coming upstairs?

I don't think so. - Lock the door.

I can't, I have no key.

That's not really smart. - Wait a minute.

They're leaving.

This is unbelievable. I'll call you back.

Hello, Pip?

What?

I'm sleeping here tonight.

I'm gonna take a shower.

Frump.

Did you ever see that?

'I'm gonna take a shower?' - Frump. 'I'm gonna take a shower, frump.'

And what happened next? - He took a shower.

Admit it, that's not a normal reaction. You're not safe there anymore.

Who knows what he's up to.

Pip, we need to do something. - Like what?

Well, something.

Get out of there. Move. Now there's no victims yet.

Come and stay with us for a while.

I can sleep on my air matress for a while.

I really don't mind.

It inflates in a second.

Sell the house. It's just a pile of bricks, Pippa.

Yes, but it's still my pile of bricks.

Those yellow bastards are afraid to open the door.

There he is.

You're mad at me. Admit it.

Come inside, it's easier to talk there.

Not satisfied? You can get your money back.

It's all there, I didn't charge you anything.

I would expect not.

If you can choose between 2000 euros for a nasty job...

...or 3000 to sit back and do nothing, what do you choose as an entrepreneur?

We had a deal. - In principal you're right, sir...

...but principals don't pay the rent. You get that, don't you?

You're a filthy crook.

Call the cops.

Use mine. It's 101.

Can you still look at yourself in a mirror?

Don't make me mad.

I'm very reasonable, but don't provoke me.

Get your envelope while you still can and go.

Get out before you get into trouble. Go nag someone else.

Admit that it's the best solution for everyone.

And you save the costs of a realtor.

And those men charge a lot of money.

You should be lucky that we're honest people.

I think it's time someone mentioned it. Right?

Yes, that seems correct.

I'm not signing.

What do you mean?

I get that you're emotional, but given the circumstances that's not wise.

She's never been very smart.

And she never will be.

Then we'll go for a public sale.

If you want to act foolish, go right ahead.

Maybe we can even get it for less.

Wow. - Ouch, damn it.

That's hysterical, I can't stop laughing.

She can't write three sentences without spelling errors...

...but here she can show off...

You're kidding me.

How fun, the butt cowboys are here as well.

Where's the party?

Let's pretend we didn't hear that.

So we should pretend we're deaf?

Nobody calls my family butt cowboys.

That's really sweet, but give that to me before you hurt someone.

You're sleeping on the couch tonight.

Really? - Yes.

This will end badly.

Oh, what's that? That's so dangerous.

It's not a toy. - I don't want that in my house.

But how will you defend yourself?

Glenn knows what you were up to. He's not gonna leave it alone.

But I can't shoot him. - Well...

You could shoot him in the leg. - Grandpa...

He's gonna take your house.

I'm worried, girl.

Come on.

Try again.

Feet apart.

Are you standing firm? - Yeah.

Yeah or yes? - Yes, I'm standing firm.

We'll see.

Aim for that tree. Focus.

Hold your breath and shoot.

You will win us the war.

Pip, you've got to be kidding. That's so dangerous.

And where is it?

I hid it in the couch. - Really?

Can I see it?

Can I hold it? - Be careful.

That's really heavy.

Is it loaded? Here, take it.

Without bullets you can't shoot. - My fingerprints are on it now.

Someone is here.

Put it...

We have company.

Hello, Glenn.

What?

Is something wrong?

Should there be something wrong?

Yes, should there be?

Put it away.

Illegal possession of a weapon? - Why don't you say it a little louder.

Where is it? - In the couch.

Don't do it. You don't wanna be on the news like that.

I'm not doing anything. Grandpa wanted me to take it.

He's an old man. I want to get rid of it as well.

Can we help you hide it?

No, you fool. What if it explodes? It scares me.

You're scared of everything. Even of a mouse.

That's not true. - It is true, Leon.

There...

Right, what now?

I'm sleeping here.

I'm sleeping on the couch. - Really? This is my couch.

Get out. Out.

But you told me I had to sleep here.

Yes, you're correct. You heard that correctly, congratulations.

But now I'm here. This is my couch.

Louba, he's as drunk as a skunk.

He's gonna find that gun. Lock the door.

I don't have a key.

I'll jump on my bike and come over. - And then what?

We'll tie him up. - And?

I don't know.

Tomorrow that gun has to go.

It's enough, I'll bring it back to grandpa. Yes, bye.

What a drama.

Damn it.

What were you planning to do with this?

You stupid bitch. - Watch it, Glenn.

You were going to kill me. - No, that's not true.

You wanted me dead. - No.

I think I'm going crazy.

What were you going to do with this?

Nothing.

Nothing?

You wanted to waste me.

No.

How does this thing work...

Watch out, Glenn.

You were going to kill me.

Call the police, now. - And what should I say?

That he tried to kill you. What else?

Where is he now? - Downstairs, I think.

I'm coming over.

We're going to call uncle Corneel, before any accidents happen.

I want to hear the whole story. In detail.

And tell me the truth.

What we'll do in court is something else.

But I need to know the truth.

Do you understand?

He's gonna be so mad.

Mad? He's gonna explode. - He made his bed, he should die in it.

That's not the way it goes: it's 'make one's bed and lie in it'.

I like it better my way. You know-it-all.

Runs in the family.

I wouldn't dare, Pippa. He's gonna take revenge.

You won't be at ease anymore.

What if he shows up here at night?

That look worries me.

Our time here is limited. You brought the gun into the house.

That is illegal possession of a weapon and against the law.

My client found that gun by accident.

He panicked and shot three times. Nobody was injured.

Because he didn't aim it at anyone.

Bang, bang, bang. Nobody's hurt. Just a few holes in the wall.

What's the worst the court can do?

Well...

We're going for attempted homicide.

Hold on.

They're in the middle of a painful divorce.

Your client bought a gun.

That's not true.

He hid it in the couch in the family home.

He drank to work up the courage and forced himself into the bedroom.

And he tried to kill his wife while she was sleeping.

She wasn't sleeping, she was wide awake.

Mr Crombez was seriously under the influence...

...here, 2,3 percent, so the plan failed. What's the court gonna give him for that?

Best case scenario? Three to four years.

I don't know what your client has been telling you...

...but it was her weapon. We're not gonna argue about that, are we?

Really? Were her fingerprints on the gun?

Or do you happen to have a receipt signed by her?

Attempted homicide. It will be the Assize Court.

You get that, Mr Crombez? Assize, it can go either way.

Maximum sentence is 30 years.

You know full well that it didn't go down like that.

That's not important, Mr Crombez.

All that matters, is what the judge is going to believe.

It doesn't look good.

But I'm sensing you didn't call this meeting just to tell us that.

That's right.

My client is prepared to diminish the charges considerably.

It will help no one if Mr Crombez has to serve time for a few years...

...because, let's face it, it's not cozy in here.

But in return we want a restraining order, and...

Wait.

I want to say the rest myself.

And your client renounces his claim to his 50 percent of our house.

What? I don't think so.

Go live with your mom and dad. There's also birds in the trees there.

That's not reasonable, is it? - Not reasonable, hello?

A deliberate attempt at murder compared to half a pile of bricks?

I have drawn up a short statement we'd like mister Crombez to sign.

Here you go.

I'm not signing anything.

It was just a proposal.

I'm not being blackmailed by that stupid cow.

Fine, I think this meeting is over.

I think so too.

You really don't know what you've gotten yourself into. Wait and see.

I would like to discuss this with my client.

By ourselves. - That's not possible.

We can't just keep walking in and out. You know that.

That's the thing about prisons. Getting in is easy...

...but getting out again is quite a different story.

Come here.

I'm still worried, sweetie. He's dangerous.

He will be back here before you know it. - Right, mister Tremblepants.

Positive thinking, Leon. - Right.

I'm trying. Have been all of my life.

But I would change the locks if I were you.

Yes, we heard you.

Let's empty out Glenn's wine cellar. - Yes.

I saw Glenn doing time in prison

Race you to the branches.

And if I win, we kiss.

What?

What do you mean, kiss? - Really kiss.

You're scared, aren't you? - You've never won.

And I don't want to kiss you.

Scared you're going to like it?

Just make sure you don't fall.

Damn it. What was that? I'm not into women, am I?

Wow.

Water. - What happened here?

How did my panties get on your head? I would like to know that.

Dumpling.

I'm no dumpling.

That's it, I'm never drinking again.