All language subtitles for Los.Espookys.S01E04.El.espejo.maldito.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (SoranĂź)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:49,783
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:52,282 --> 00:00:55,325
- Who are you?
- I am a dark spirit
3
00:00:55,327 --> 00:00:56,952
that has lived
inside of you your whole life.
4
00:00:56,954 --> 00:01:00,121
I am Water's Shadow,
the shadow of the water.
5
00:01:00,123 --> 00:01:02,165
A shadow in the water?
6
00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:05,001
No, pay attention.
The shadow of the water.
7
00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:06,753
Okay, that makes sense.
8
00:01:06,755 --> 00:01:10,632
But wait,
if you've lived inside of me,
9
00:01:10,634 --> 00:01:12,094
then you know where I came from.
10
00:01:12,469 --> 00:01:14,261
You know who left me
at the orphanage.
11
00:01:14,263 --> 00:01:17,180
Yes, and I know
you are at a crossroads.
12
00:01:17,182 --> 00:01:20,183
But in order for you to know
what path to take,
13
00:01:20,185 --> 00:01:23,478
you must know the road
that led you here.
14
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,982
I know the key to your past,
15
00:01:26,984 --> 00:01:29,860
but in order for me to help you,
16
00:01:29,862 --> 00:01:31,528
you have to help me.
17
00:01:31,530 --> 00:01:33,363
There is something I have not seen
18
00:01:33,365 --> 00:01:36,702
because you have not seen it.
Something I long to see...
19
00:01:38,787 --> 00:01:41,872
The King's Speech.
20
00:01:41,874 --> 00:01:44,499
- The movie?
- Yes, a wonderfully meticulous
21
00:01:44,501 --> 00:01:48,879
period drama starring Colin Firth
about a king overcoming
22
00:01:48,881 --> 00:01:52,132
his crippling fear
of public speaking.
23
00:01:52,134 --> 00:01:56,471
- I don't know if I want to see it.
- The King's Speech or no answers!
24
00:02:11,695 --> 00:02:15,322
The King's Speech,
a story of perseverance...
25
00:02:15,324 --> 00:02:16,700
Shit.
26
00:02:20,579 --> 00:02:22,287
- Renaldo?
- Hey man,
27
00:02:22,289 --> 00:02:24,372
I wanted to call you earlier,
but I ran out of minutes.
28
00:02:24,374 --> 00:02:26,750
- Are you busy?
- I just met a parasitic demon
29
00:02:26,752 --> 00:02:29,252
that lives inside me,
but I'm free now. What's up?
30
00:02:29,254 --> 00:02:33,298
Dude, Bianca Nova wants
to work with us!
31
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:37,969
- We have to go to Los Angeles.
- It's already 3:42?
32
00:02:37,971 --> 00:02:40,680
It was just 3:41 a minute ago.
33
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,682
If only there was a way
of knowing when the minute
34
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:44,267
was going to change...
35
00:02:44,269 --> 00:02:46,772
They should put a seconds hand
on that clock.
36
00:02:53,654 --> 00:02:55,195
Are you almost done?
37
00:02:55,197 --> 00:02:57,030
No, time never ends.
38
00:02:57,032 --> 00:02:58,657
And neither does my energy,
39
00:02:58,659 --> 00:03:00,909
thanks to Hierbalite's
Level Up vitamin drink,
40
00:03:00,911 --> 00:03:04,120
a complex mix of B-12 and other
natural energy boosters.
41
00:03:04,122 --> 00:03:06,873
- What are you doing?
- Their advanced formula keeps me
42
00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:09,211
- hydrated and replenishes...
- Tati, we have to sell those.
43
00:03:10,754 --> 00:03:14,005
Since you said we had
to get rid of the products,
44
00:03:14,007 --> 00:03:15,549
I've been drinking them.
45
00:03:15,551 --> 00:03:17,676
- How many have you had?
- Eighteen?
46
00:03:17,678 --> 00:03:19,886
- Today?
- No, this morning.
47
00:03:19,888 --> 00:03:21,763
Tati, we have to make
a payment soon,
48
00:03:21,765 --> 00:03:24,391
and if you keep drinking them,
we won't be able to sell them,
49
00:03:24,393 --> 00:03:26,687
and we'll have to pay for them
ourselves.
50
00:03:28,063 --> 00:03:31,565
Why did we have to meet
all the way up here?
51
00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:34,359
I see. Since she can't control anything
in her life,
52
00:03:34,361 --> 00:03:36,194
she's running the seconds hand.
53
00:03:36,196 --> 00:03:39,741
A little task she can control.
I like that for her.
54
00:03:41,493 --> 00:03:44,202
But she's 22 minutes off.
55
00:03:44,204 --> 00:03:47,831
Ărsula, you didn't reply to my message.
Aren't you excited?
56
00:03:47,833 --> 00:03:50,876
I'm excited, but we can't just
go to the US and work.
57
00:03:50,878 --> 00:03:53,797
We need visas, and that's a slow
and costly process.
58
00:03:54,882 --> 00:03:58,091
And the other big problem is
I don't want to fill out any forms.
59
00:03:58,093 --> 00:04:00,429
Hold on. I know who we can call.
60
00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:04,641
And another iconic
American corporation over here,
61
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:09,185
and another over here.
Hey, are we out of the Dunkin' ones?
62
00:04:09,187 --> 00:04:12,230
Ambassador Gibbons,
the spooky people are here.
63
00:04:12,232 --> 00:04:14,649
It's Renaldo, and some other people.
64
00:04:14,651 --> 00:04:16,610
Okay, everyone leave.
65
00:04:16,612 --> 00:04:20,780
Get out unless you're Renaldo,
his friends or me.
66
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:23,491
So, I guess that just
leaves you, Jessica.
67
00:04:23,493 --> 00:04:26,494
I'm sorry, this is the end
of the road for you.
68
00:04:26,496 --> 00:04:29,206
You led me astray. You told me
the bangs were good
69
00:04:29,208 --> 00:04:31,583
when they were a total disaster.
70
00:04:31,585 --> 00:04:34,377
People laughed in the face of America.
71
00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:38,340
I understand. I won't forget everything
that I've learned here,
72
00:04:38,342 --> 00:04:41,092
and even though I won't become
the next American ambassador,
73
00:04:41,094 --> 00:04:42,638
I've met some amazing girls.
74
00:04:49,394 --> 00:04:51,311
So hard to let girls go.
75
00:04:51,313 --> 00:04:54,606
- So, what brings you here.
- We have...
76
00:04:54,608 --> 00:05:00,239
Wait, you know what I need?
I need to find my translating gem.
77
00:05:02,407 --> 00:05:04,407
Well, we were offered
an amazing opportunity
78
00:05:04,409 --> 00:05:09,704
- to work in the United States.
- My god, you have to stay downtown.
79
00:05:09,706 --> 00:05:13,667
Sure, but in order
to go, we need work visas.
80
00:05:13,669 --> 00:05:16,461
I love that, and I
can do that like this.
81
00:05:16,463 --> 00:05:18,088
But I have another idea.
82
00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:22,425
I give you the visas, and in return,
you get something I need.
83
00:05:22,427 --> 00:05:27,347
- Okay.
- It's a... highly sensitive
84
00:05:27,349 --> 00:05:31,851
diplomatic matter.
It's top secret, really hush-hush.
85
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:34,729
I have a week's vacation
coming up. I'm going to Tulum,
86
00:05:34,731 --> 00:05:38,233
and I'll finally have
some time to just relax.
87
00:05:38,235 --> 00:05:40,652
Just me, the sun, the sand,
88
00:05:40,654 --> 00:05:43,697
and my seven security guards
surrounding my private beach.
89
00:05:43,699 --> 00:05:46,074
But, obviously,
a week is not enough.
90
00:05:46,076 --> 00:05:48,743
I need to add on
an additional week after that.
91
00:05:48,745 --> 00:05:50,537
And there's only one way
of doing that,
92
00:05:50,539 --> 00:05:53,957
and that's by faking
my own abduction.
93
00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:57,002
Right on.
We can take care of that.
94
00:05:57,004 --> 00:05:59,713
Were you thinking like
a tradition alien abduction
95
00:05:59,715 --> 00:06:01,381
or something with a ransom?
96
00:06:01,383 --> 00:06:03,174
I don't care. Whatever it is,
97
00:06:03,176 --> 00:06:05,468
just make sure everyone
at the office sees it,
98
00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:07,762
let them know that I'll be gone
for a full two weeks,
99
00:06:07,764 --> 00:06:10,724
and that if I come back
with a tan, it's no big deal.
100
00:06:10,726 --> 00:06:13,351
Sure, we can make
that clear during the abduction.
101
00:06:13,353 --> 00:06:16,646
I'm not done.
Wait, I am.
102
00:06:16,648 --> 00:06:19,608
Yeah, we'll do all that for you,
and you get us the visas.
103
00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,151
I'm getting abducted!
104
00:06:21,153 --> 00:06:23,028
And this time it's fine
because I organized it.
105
00:06:23,030 --> 00:06:24,573
Great. It's a done deal.
106
00:06:28,535 --> 00:06:30,827
Ambassador Melanie,
since you're going to Tulum,
107
00:06:30,829 --> 00:06:33,246
you'll probably want to lose,
gain, or maintain weight.
108
00:06:33,248 --> 00:06:36,627
- I have a great product that...
- Yes! Whatever it is, yes!
109
00:06:37,836 --> 00:06:40,170
Yeah, the one
about the king and the speech.
110
00:06:40,172 --> 00:06:42,797
I think it won an Oscar
a few years ago. Do you have it?
111
00:06:42,799 --> 00:06:44,674
Andrecito, my son...
112
00:06:44,676 --> 00:06:47,886
Yes, Mother... or are you?
Et cetera.
113
00:06:47,888 --> 00:06:50,013
What's this about
you not marrying Juan Carlos?
114
00:06:50,015 --> 00:06:51,806
I'm focusing on other things.
115
00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:54,267
Besides, I don't think
I'm ready for that.
116
00:06:54,269 --> 00:06:56,102
Did you not like the ring?
117
00:06:56,104 --> 00:07:00,398
Of course, I liked the ring, Father.
It's just, well...
118
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,985
- Why do you care so much?
- Maybe you should start to care.
119
00:07:03,987 --> 00:07:05,904
Here you are in this beautiful home,
120
00:07:05,906 --> 00:07:10,116
enjoying the beautiful pool
on this beautiful plot of land.
121
00:07:10,118 --> 00:07:13,954
And all thanks
to the family business.
122
00:07:13,956 --> 00:07:15,705
And for the family business
to thrive,
123
00:07:15,707 --> 00:07:18,750
it needs to expand.
And what better way to expand
124
00:07:18,752 --> 00:07:22,420
than through the union
of chocolate and cookies?
125
00:07:22,422 --> 00:07:25,549
It's not an unreasonable request.
We've given you so much
126
00:07:25,551 --> 00:07:27,175
and never asked for anything
in return.
127
00:07:27,177 --> 00:07:30,845
- Plus, you like that boy.
- And if you like these things,
128
00:07:30,847 --> 00:07:35,183
it'd be a shame if they went away...
129
00:07:35,185 --> 00:07:38,311
Is that a threat?
You wouldn't dare.
130
00:07:38,313 --> 00:07:40,230
Yes, son, we would.
131
00:07:40,232 --> 00:07:43,066
As a matter of fact, we've taken
full control of your finances.
132
00:07:43,068 --> 00:07:48,196
Every penny you spend
will need our approval.
133
00:07:48,198 --> 00:07:51,118
- Like Britney Spears.
- Like Britney Spears, yes.
134
00:07:52,244 --> 00:07:55,455
Until you prove
you're no longer reckless.
135
00:08:04,381 --> 00:08:06,464
I'm leaving. Bye, Mom!
136
00:08:06,466 --> 00:08:08,425
Where are you going
dressed like that?
137
00:08:08,427 --> 00:08:10,886
Mom, I already told you.
I'm a Red Bull girl now.
138
00:08:10,888 --> 00:08:13,221
I've dreamt of being
a Red Bullette my whole life.
139
00:08:13,223 --> 00:08:16,433
First Hierbalite
and now this? No.
140
00:08:16,435 --> 00:08:18,935
Mom, Hierbalite was just a phase.
141
00:08:18,937 --> 00:08:22,063
Red Bull is my real passion.
It gives me wings.
142
00:08:22,065 --> 00:08:25,027
No. Go back to your room. Now.
143
00:08:28,822 --> 00:08:33,366
So, I need you here when I get
back to help unload groceries.
144
00:08:33,368 --> 00:08:36,411
I donât want you complaining
that the ice cream melted again.
145
00:08:36,413 --> 00:08:38,455
- Okay.
- And I have to tell you,
146
00:08:38,457 --> 00:08:41,041
the pretty neighbor
came looking for you again.
147
00:08:41,043 --> 00:08:43,710
She said she wants to sleep with you,
but hasn't had the chance yet.
148
00:08:43,712 --> 00:08:45,962
I think it's time for you
to sleep with a girl.
149
00:08:45,964 --> 00:08:49,382
Mom, I already told you.
I'm not interested in sex.
150
00:08:49,384 --> 00:08:53,386
Horror is my only passion.
How many times do I have to say it?
151
00:08:53,388 --> 00:08:57,515
Plus, the only thing I care about
right now is getting to Bianca Nova.
152
00:08:57,517 --> 00:09:00,393
Please stop trying
to distract me with that.
153
00:09:00,395 --> 00:09:03,438
Alright.
154
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,316
Anyways, as I was saying,
155
00:09:06,318 --> 00:09:08,902
Melanie wants us to fake
an abduction.
156
00:09:08,904 --> 00:09:11,112
What if we trap her in a mirror?
157
00:09:11,114 --> 00:09:14,908
I know I pitch this for every gig,
but think this time, it actually fits.
158
00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:17,285
You mean like a cursed mirror
sort of thing
159
00:09:17,287 --> 00:09:19,621
with a bizarre parallel universe
inside it?
160
00:09:19,623 --> 00:09:21,373
- Exactly.
- Let me see
161
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:24,459
how we could do that. I got it.
162
00:09:24,461 --> 00:09:26,628
If we find a little room
where we can hide,
163
00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:30,757
we could use one of those
two-way mirrors
164
00:09:30,759 --> 00:09:33,468
and build a mechanism
to slide the mirror out
165
00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:36,179
so the ambassador can enter
our secret room.
166
00:09:36,181 --> 00:09:37,891
That's perfect.
167
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,893
What do you think, Andrés?
168
00:09:44,064 --> 00:09:45,772
Andrés?
169
00:09:45,774 --> 00:09:48,066
I'm having second thoughts
about the engagement.
170
00:09:48,068 --> 00:09:51,611
To make a long story short...
actually, it's a pretty short story...
171
00:09:51,613 --> 00:09:54,573
my parents will cut me off
if I don't marry Juan Carlos.
172
00:09:54,575 --> 00:09:58,034
Dude... You shouldn't marry him
for money.
173
00:09:58,036 --> 00:10:02,038
You have us. You don't need
any of that stuff.
174
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,957
I don't know.
Maybe you're right.
175
00:10:03,959 --> 00:10:07,085
Look, Andrés... all my life,
I've busted my ass working.
176
00:10:07,087 --> 00:10:10,547
Sometimes, I can barely pay my bills,
but I'm independent.
177
00:10:10,549 --> 00:10:13,508
Meanwhile, you're bound
to your parents' will.
178
00:10:13,510 --> 00:10:16,136
Is marrying Juan Carlos worth it?
179
00:10:16,138 --> 00:10:18,722
Sure, you're not gonna live
in a mansion,
180
00:10:18,724 --> 00:10:20,932
and have nice clothes,
and go on spectacular trips,
181
00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:24,144
but is it worth
sacrificing your freedom
182
00:10:24,146 --> 00:10:25,522
just for some luxuries?
183
00:10:26,773 --> 00:10:29,649
- I'll marry you.
- Thank you for cooperating.
184
00:10:29,651 --> 00:10:31,234
Love wins.
185
00:10:31,236 --> 00:10:33,153
But it's a "yes" with an asterisk:
186
00:10:33,155 --> 00:10:37,908
I'll marry you, but I'll
continue doing my spooky stuff.
187
00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:41,703
I trust that your priorities
will change once we are married.
188
00:10:41,705 --> 00:10:44,581
Well, while I have you here,
I need your opinion
189
00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:47,000
on my 2019 Latin Webbies
Awards speech.
190
00:10:47,002 --> 00:10:48,543
I have to wow them.
191
00:10:48,545 --> 00:10:52,214
"Esteemed fellow influencers,
it's an honor to speak
192
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,758
to the most successful people
on YouTube.
193
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,927
We are successful
because we are beautiful,
194
00:10:56,929 --> 00:10:58,929
and we are beautiful
because we are good..."
195
00:10:58,931 --> 00:11:00,972
Hello to all my fans.
196
00:11:00,974 --> 00:11:03,475
Thank you so much
for watching my GoFundMe video.
197
00:11:03,477 --> 00:11:05,852
So, like, what happened is that
I was on my way
198
00:11:05,854 --> 00:11:08,480
to give canned goods to a church
and out of nowhere,
199
00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:11,024
an airplane hits me like, bam,
on the head.
200
00:11:11,026 --> 00:11:12,609
You know, like a bitch.
201
00:11:12,611 --> 00:11:15,862
And, anyway,
click the link in my description
202
00:11:15,864 --> 00:11:18,073
so you can see
my other GoFundMe video
203
00:11:18,075 --> 00:11:22,369
where my TV was taken from me
by a large tornado.
204
00:11:22,371 --> 00:11:23,747
Thank you and God bless.
205
00:11:24,831 --> 00:11:27,874
Wow. You got so many done today.
206
00:11:27,876 --> 00:11:30,293
Every time you open your mouth,
207
00:11:30,295 --> 00:11:32,881
all I hear is
"bitch, bitch, bitch."
208
00:11:34,299 --> 00:11:36,049
That's too bad. I'm sorry.
209
00:11:36,051 --> 00:11:37,970
I can't take all this abuse.
210
00:11:39,346 --> 00:11:42,057
That just...
Here, you can watch it.
211
00:11:45,602 --> 00:11:49,646
Tico. Tico!
Tico, there you are.
212
00:11:49,648 --> 00:11:52,482
I've been knocking
and knocking on every door.
213
00:11:52,484 --> 00:11:54,109
Excuse me,
can you please keep it down?
214
00:11:54,111 --> 00:11:55,735
- Sorry.
- I found him!
215
00:11:55,737 --> 00:11:58,488
The man I've been looking for.
216
00:11:58,490 --> 00:12:00,866
The man who saved my life.
217
00:12:00,868 --> 00:12:03,660
I cannot thank you enough
218
00:12:03,662 --> 00:12:08,039
for reigniting the flame
of inspiration in me.
219
00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:11,543
Now, what should this movie
be about?
220
00:12:11,545 --> 00:12:14,546
I don't even wanna know
who this woman is,
221
00:12:14,548 --> 00:12:17,424
but it is clear you are using again.
222
00:12:17,426 --> 00:12:18,802
I never used.
223
00:12:20,512 --> 00:12:23,430
Let's get
to the business of creating.
224
00:12:23,432 --> 00:12:26,560
Now, what should this movie
be about?
225
00:12:28,437 --> 00:12:31,938
I'm not really creative, but my
nephew's coming with his friends.
226
00:12:31,940 --> 00:12:33,815
We can wait for him.
227
00:12:33,817 --> 00:12:38,028
No, no, no, no. No.
If we don't start writing today,
228
00:12:38,030 --> 00:12:41,033
I'm gonna go home
and swallow a bowl of marbles.
229
00:12:42,910 --> 00:12:45,660
Three o'clock?
That can't be right.
230
00:12:45,662 --> 00:12:48,832
Well, I hope it's right.
I just had lunch.
231
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,546
- Hello.
- Thank you for coming
232
00:12:56,548 --> 00:12:59,174
all the way up here.
I think you're really gonna like
233
00:12:59,176 --> 00:13:00,842
Hierbalite's Nutri-Boost Powder,
234
00:13:00,844 --> 00:13:03,220
which regenerates
at the cellular level.
235
00:13:03,222 --> 00:13:07,015
All our products are very healthy
and come with a guarantee...
236
00:13:07,017 --> 00:13:08,393
Excuse me.
237
00:13:10,145 --> 00:13:12,229
Welcome to Tati.
It's three o'clock.
238
00:13:12,231 --> 00:13:15,148
Hi, I'm calling from Hierbalite.
Your payment...
239
00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:17,526
Please, I'm trying to make a sale
240
00:13:17,528 --> 00:13:20,280
while I manage time... call my sister.
241
00:13:25,661 --> 00:13:27,661
- Hello?
- Hi, I'm calling
242
00:13:27,663 --> 00:13:29,454
from Hierbalite Collections.
243
00:13:29,456 --> 00:13:32,125
- Is this Miss Ărsula I'm speaking to?
- Yes.
244
00:13:33,168 --> 00:13:34,918
Well, good evening
to you and your family.
245
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:38,213
This is just a friendly reminder
that you're out of time.
246
00:13:38,215 --> 00:13:39,798
Where's my money, bitch?
247
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,508
Do you know who the fuck
you're talking to?
248
00:13:41,510 --> 00:13:45,554
I'm the Hierbalite CEO, Mark Stevens,
and I personally handle collections.
249
00:13:45,556 --> 00:13:48,515
Chasing down people like you
is what I live for.
250
00:13:48,517 --> 00:13:51,436
You have five days to come up
with my fucking money.
251
00:13:52,604 --> 00:13:54,813
Please remain on the line
for a brief survey
252
00:13:54,815 --> 00:13:56,606
about our call today.
253
00:13:56,608 --> 00:13:59,442
Mark's threats were:
A, concise and articulate,
254
00:13:59,444 --> 00:14:02,070
B, a little vague and confusing,
C...
255
00:14:02,072 --> 00:14:04,030
- BUY MIRROR
- ABDUCT MELANIE
256
00:14:04,032 --> 00:14:06,285
- WALK FRUTSI
- GET VISAS
257
00:14:09,913 --> 00:14:11,454
Hi, Renaldo.
258
00:14:11,456 --> 00:14:14,082
- Hi.
- I'm Carmencita, your neighbor.
259
00:14:14,084 --> 00:14:17,377
Your mom let me in.
I'm so happy to finally meet you!
260
00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:21,214
I've come by so many times,
but you're always busy.
261
00:14:21,216 --> 00:14:24,926
Your mom is so sweet,
and your dog is so cute.
262
00:14:24,928 --> 00:14:27,053
I love families.
263
00:14:27,055 --> 00:14:28,680
What are you up to?
264
00:14:28,682 --> 00:14:31,725
I'm killing time...
between spooks.
265
00:14:31,727 --> 00:14:36,146
- What do you mean?
- My friends and I have a horror group,
266
00:14:36,148 --> 00:14:39,735
and when I'm not doing horror,
I'm waiting for more horror.
267
00:14:40,944 --> 00:14:46,281
Yeah, your mom said you're crazy
about that spooky stuff...
268
00:14:46,283 --> 00:14:49,075
That's why I got you this.
It's a present!
269
00:14:49,077 --> 00:14:51,745
God is love
270
00:14:51,747 --> 00:14:54,581
The Bible says so
271
00:14:54,583 --> 00:14:56,875
God is love
272
00:14:56,877 --> 00:14:59,586
Saint Pablo says so, too
273
00:14:59,588 --> 00:15:01,796
God is love
274
00:15:01,798 --> 00:15:03,757
Search for him And you'll see
275
00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:07,177
In 1 John 4:8
276
00:15:07,179 --> 00:15:10,182
In 1 John 4:8
277
00:15:16,188 --> 00:15:19,272
- Okay.
- Well, since you're not busy right now,
278
00:15:19,274 --> 00:15:21,235
I'd love to have sex with you.
279
00:15:23,445 --> 00:15:26,488
Thanks, but no thanks.
280
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:30,909
It's really nice of you
to offer yourself like this,
281
00:15:30,911 --> 00:15:34,329
but you're trying to tap
into a part of me
282
00:15:34,331 --> 00:15:37,499
that I've locked away
and don't intend to deal with
283
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:39,086
for a very, very long time.
284
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:43,004
Okay.
Well, I understand, Renaldo.
285
00:15:43,006 --> 00:15:44,965
I guess I'll have to move again.
286
00:15:44,967 --> 00:15:48,218
Hopefully, my next neighbor
will have time for Carmencita.
287
00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:50,470
- Yes, right?
- Right?
288
00:15:50,472 --> 00:15:52,766
- See ya! Take care!
- Yep. Bye.
289
00:16:31,513 --> 00:16:33,305
I'm sorry.
I think those are mine.
290
00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:34,973
Excuse me?
291
00:16:34,975 --> 00:16:39,352
Don't worry, if you want,
you can keep them for 190 pesos.
292
00:16:39,354 --> 00:16:40,731
What is it?
293
00:16:50,407 --> 00:16:52,866
Hi, Andrés.
It's just gonna be you and me.
294
00:16:52,868 --> 00:16:55,579
Renaldo is busy, and Ărsula
is selling Hierbalite.
295
00:16:57,623 --> 00:17:00,250
- I'm not here yet.
- No worries.
296
00:17:01,168 --> 00:17:02,709
I'm running late.
297
00:17:02,711 --> 00:17:06,588
Take your time.
I'm already here but I can wait.
298
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:10,634
- Hi, Tati.
- Hi. Today was tough. I got fired again.
299
00:17:10,636 --> 00:17:14,512
Apparently, I can't do one job
while I'm at my other job.
300
00:17:14,514 --> 00:17:17,557
Hello! Look who showed up!
301
00:17:17,559 --> 00:17:19,226
- Hi, Pony.
- Hello.
302
00:17:19,228 --> 00:17:21,770
- How are you?
- Hi, Pony.
303
00:17:21,772 --> 00:17:23,647
- You know each other?
- Of course!
304
00:17:23,649 --> 00:17:26,066
She took
all the photos for our catalog.
305
00:17:26,068 --> 00:17:29,819
There's some new mirrors that arrived
that you're gonna love.
306
00:17:29,821 --> 00:17:34,616
We have top frames,
bottom frames,
307
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:38,245
the dominatrix, and my favorite...
the Queen Sofia.
308
00:17:38,247 --> 00:17:41,331
- I love it.
- And this little purse?
309
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:46,628
Someone's going shopping!
Well, I'll let you browse in peace,
310
00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:51,510
and if you need anything, let me know.
Like ecstasy, for example.
311
00:17:52,594 --> 00:17:55,053
I'm kidding...
just little jokes I make.
312
00:17:55,055 --> 00:17:57,097
Not even Tati buys ecstasy anymore.
313
00:17:57,099 --> 00:17:59,142
Well, we have
to find a mirror that...
314
00:18:00,727 --> 00:18:02,435
What's that?
315
00:18:02,437 --> 00:18:04,940
What's Pony hiding
behind this curtain?
316
00:18:06,984 --> 00:18:10,360
It might be too big,
but I think... It's perfect.
317
00:18:10,362 --> 00:18:13,989
What am I doing with my life?
Horror is your passion.
318
00:18:13,991 --> 00:18:16,324
You all know what you're doing
with your lives, but...
319
00:18:16,326 --> 00:18:18,410
What am I doing?
Where am I going?
320
00:18:18,412 --> 00:18:21,037
I can't break in shoes.
I can't count steps.
321
00:18:21,039 --> 00:18:23,582
I can't help people lose, gain,
or maintain weight.
322
00:18:23,584 --> 00:18:25,250
I can't keep time.
323
00:18:25,252 --> 00:18:27,252
I fail at everything I try.
324
00:18:27,254 --> 00:18:29,963
I mean, where will I be
in five years?
325
00:18:29,965 --> 00:18:33,300
What if it rains?
I don't have those kinds of shoes.
326
00:18:33,302 --> 00:18:36,636
Some people enjoy the journey
more than the destination.
327
00:18:36,638 --> 00:18:38,015
I just consoled you.
328
00:18:38,849 --> 00:18:41,224
You know, my dream
is to be Cirque de Soleil.
329
00:18:41,226 --> 00:18:44,686
- You want to be in Cirque de Soleil?
- No, I want to be Cirque du Soleil.
330
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:48,648
- You want to be a gymnast?
- No. Well, part of me would have to be.
331
00:18:48,650 --> 00:18:51,401
The rest would be the tents,
the audience,
332
00:18:51,403 --> 00:18:53,069
the shirts they sell
on your way out...
333
00:18:53,071 --> 00:18:56,907
The parking, the receipts
for the shirts... I see.
334
00:18:56,909 --> 00:19:00,076
Look, Tati, there are
many mysteries in the world,
335
00:19:00,078 --> 00:19:02,162
but if there's one thing
I'm sure of,
336
00:19:02,164 --> 00:19:04,831
it's that you will be
Cirque du Soleil.
337
00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:07,042
Pony!
338
00:19:07,044 --> 00:19:10,003
- We'll take this one.
- Perfect!
339
00:19:10,005 --> 00:19:12,130
That one is cursed.
I'm just letting you know
340
00:19:12,132 --> 00:19:14,799
because some people don't like that.
341
00:19:14,801 --> 00:19:17,469
Cursed...
342
00:19:17,471 --> 00:19:20,472
- It doesn't matter. We'll take it.
- Perfect.
343
00:19:20,474 --> 00:19:22,724
And then the werewolf...
344
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:26,144
What's a fun, interesting job?
345
00:19:26,146 --> 00:19:29,397
A job?
A parking valet.
346
00:19:29,399 --> 00:19:31,441
That's good. Yes.
347
00:19:31,443 --> 00:19:35,403
So... so then,
the werewolf is a valet.
348
00:19:35,405 --> 00:19:38,114
And then... it's nighttime.
349
00:19:38,116 --> 00:19:41,159
That's always good.
Nighttime is good.
350
00:19:41,161 --> 00:19:43,912
And then,
he goes to the valet stand,
351
00:19:43,914 --> 00:19:47,624
and all of a sudden, he...
he can't find the keys.
352
00:19:47,626 --> 00:19:51,962
And so, the lady, she's really mad.
353
00:19:51,964 --> 00:19:55,507
She says, "I've been waiting
here for two hours.
354
00:19:55,509 --> 00:19:57,842
And I've got another party to go to,
355
00:19:57,844 --> 00:20:01,179
and you're holding me back,
and I should sue you."
356
00:20:01,181 --> 00:20:03,598
This is so good.
It's very real.
357
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,600
And then she says, "Are you okay?
358
00:20:05,602 --> 00:20:07,310
Why are you a werewolf?"
359
00:20:07,312 --> 00:20:09,022
"Why are you a werewolf?"
360
00:20:11,108 --> 00:20:13,944
Who should the girl be?
361
00:20:14,945 --> 00:20:16,778
Anne Hathaway?
362
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:19,867
That is...
that's just wonderful.
363
00:20:20,868 --> 00:20:23,871
I'm so tired. You type.
364
00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:32,460
- Beep, beep.
- Tico, are you gonna make it?
365
00:20:32,462 --> 00:20:35,589
I can't right now. I'm helping
my friend,
366
00:20:35,591 --> 00:20:37,132
make a movie to write.
367
00:20:37,134 --> 00:20:41,011
Tico, what little adventure
have you fallen into now?
368
00:20:41,013 --> 00:20:46,476
Don't worry.
I sent someone else, okay?
369
00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,899
Hello. It sucks that you're all
by yourself right now
370
00:20:53,901 --> 00:20:56,568
because your owner
was talking to me earlier
371
00:20:56,570 --> 00:20:58,737
and calling me
something like a bitch,
372
00:20:58,739 --> 00:21:05,329
but I guess you're the bitch
now, right?
373
00:21:10,709 --> 00:21:15,170
Well, thank you,
Ărsula. I had a lot of fun.
374
00:21:15,172 --> 00:21:17,464
You know what I was thinking?
375
00:21:17,466 --> 00:21:20,383
That we could be together forever.
376
00:21:20,385 --> 00:21:21,762
Carmencita...
377
00:21:22,721 --> 00:21:24,721
I'm gonna have to say no.
378
00:21:24,723 --> 00:21:26,516
You still have a lot to learn.
379
00:21:29,102 --> 00:21:34,397
Well... I guess it's time
for Carmencita to move again.
380
00:21:34,399 --> 00:21:36,858
Because that's the only way
to stay a virgin.
381
00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:39,486
Because when you move,
no one knows your past.
382
00:21:39,488 --> 00:21:42,864
- Whatever you like, Carmencita.
- Of course, well...
383
00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:48,495
I hope your horror stuff goes well.
Take care.
384
00:21:48,497 --> 00:21:49,873
Bye.
385
00:21:53,627 --> 00:21:56,336
My god, it's so big!
386
00:21:56,338 --> 00:21:58,715
And it's for Melanie.
387
00:21:59,758 --> 00:22:02,551
- We have to tell Melanie.
- Melanie!
388
00:22:02,553 --> 00:22:05,222
Melanie, you have a package.
389
00:22:05,847 --> 00:22:07,973
When Tati counts to three,
390
00:22:07,975 --> 00:22:10,267
Andrés will release the smoke
to distract them
391
00:22:10,269 --> 00:22:13,770
and then Ărsula receives Melanie
when she crosses to this side.
392
00:22:13,772 --> 00:22:15,649
No? Ărsula?
393
00:22:17,317 --> 00:22:19,484
- Yeah?
- Yes, we'll receive her.
394
00:22:19,486 --> 00:22:22,614
Look at that ring!
Who's the lucky girl?
395
00:22:24,199 --> 00:22:26,700
It's true... I decided
I'm going to get married
396
00:22:26,702 --> 00:22:28,243
despite your very vocal and frankly,
397
00:22:28,245 --> 00:22:30,745
very on-point disapproval
of the situation.
398
00:22:30,747 --> 00:22:33,582
Listen, please do me a favor
and let's finish this gig well,
399
00:22:33,584 --> 00:22:36,293
- and we'll talk later.
- That's fine with me.
400
00:22:36,295 --> 00:22:39,212
Ambassador Gibbons, how do you
think history will remember
401
00:22:39,214 --> 00:22:42,299
your country's response
about the border crisis?
402
00:22:42,301 --> 00:22:46,428
Border crisis? I thought this was
for People en Español
403
00:22:46,430 --> 00:22:48,805
and you were going to ask me
what's in my bag.
404
00:22:48,807 --> 00:22:53,896
- Melanie, a package just came for you.
- Thank God.
405
00:22:55,105 --> 00:22:56,481
She's here! She's here!
406
00:22:57,941 --> 00:22:59,566
A present for me?
407
00:22:59,568 --> 00:23:02,235
I wasn't expecting anything
at all today.
408
00:23:02,237 --> 00:23:06,114
And right before my one week
vacation. Who's it from?
409
00:23:06,116 --> 00:23:08,158
The card just says, "Hell".
410
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,536
Fun!
411
00:23:13,373 --> 00:23:17,292
- It's a mirror.
- It's a beautiful mirror.
412
00:23:17,294 --> 00:23:20,670
But maybe it's a political statement
forcing us to examine ourselves.
413
00:23:20,672 --> 00:23:22,756
No, get rid of it.
414
00:23:22,758 --> 00:23:25,135
No, it's okay.
It's just a mirror. Okay.
415
00:23:26,136 --> 00:23:30,513
This is going great,
just like we planned.
416
00:23:30,515 --> 00:23:34,976
You're coming with me,
Ambassador Melanie, for two weeks.
417
00:23:34,978 --> 00:23:38,104
Your one week of vacation,
plus an additional week.
418
00:23:38,106 --> 00:23:40,982
What happened? Where is she?
419
00:23:40,984 --> 00:23:45,028
- My god! She's gone.
- Who's gonna tuck us in at night?
420
00:23:45,030 --> 00:23:47,989
Is she here? She's not outside.
421
00:23:47,991 --> 00:23:50,283
Ărsula, what happened?
422
00:23:50,285 --> 00:23:54,079
I don't know.
I'm just as confused as you are.
423
00:23:54,081 --> 00:23:57,874
I think she's actually trapped.
It was an enchanted mirror.
424
00:23:57,876 --> 00:24:00,210
I bought an enchanted mirror
because it was the most beautiful.
425
00:24:00,212 --> 00:24:04,297
Andrés, come on...
We agreed you'd buy a normal mirror.
426
00:24:04,299 --> 00:24:06,675
Ărsula, see what happens
when no one listens
427
00:24:06,677 --> 00:24:08,426
and everyone's doing
their own thing?
428
00:24:08,428 --> 00:24:10,262
You were supposed to be on top
of this.
429
00:24:10,264 --> 00:24:12,973
Right, of course because everything
is always my responsibility.
430
00:24:12,975 --> 00:24:14,724
What the hell happened?
431
00:24:14,726 --> 00:24:18,395
Where's that voice coming from?
432
00:24:18,397 --> 00:24:20,188
There she is!
433
00:24:20,190 --> 00:24:23,316
Okay, now I'm stuck
in some kind of mirror void?
434
00:24:23,318 --> 00:24:25,277
I thought you guys
were makeup artists!
435
00:24:25,279 --> 00:24:28,613
Yeah, I mean, that's what we do...
part of what we do.
436
00:24:28,615 --> 00:24:31,324
Well, this sucks.
Now I'm gonna miss my flight.
437
00:24:31,326 --> 00:24:33,994
Ambassador Melanie,
I understand that you're upset,
438
00:24:33,996 --> 00:24:38,874
and we're very sorry.
But we still need those visas.
439
00:24:38,876 --> 00:24:41,418
Honey, I'm stuck in a mirror.
I'm not giving you shit.
440
00:24:41,420 --> 00:24:43,128
You get me out of here,
I'll think about it.
441
00:24:43,130 --> 00:24:44,671
We've gotta get her out of there.
442
00:24:44,673 --> 00:24:47,382
You better get me...
443
00:24:47,384 --> 00:24:53,680
I think we can get her out
through the mirror she went in.
444
00:24:53,682 --> 00:24:56,558
We can't go out there,
they're frolicking.
445
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,938
We have to wait
until the embassy closes.
446
00:25:00,272 --> 00:25:04,107
Forget what I just said.
Now they're sleeping.
447
00:25:04,109 --> 00:25:09,823
Careful, you have to slide it!
448
00:25:16,246 --> 00:25:18,371
Fuck.
449
00:25:18,373 --> 00:25:20,749
Well, now she's trapped.
450
00:25:20,751 --> 00:25:22,127
Let's go.
451
00:25:37,710 --> 00:25:42,710
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
33989