Original subtitles

Damn, I love sitting in the back seat.

In the front, you have to look at the road,

And I hate the road with all its white lines and yellow lines.

Makes me sick!

Front seat's for athletes only!

Right, steve?

Who knew that when you can't get

On a high school football team,

You can get on a community-center rugby team!

Yeah, I-I'm doing rugby...

As a player.

Touching the ball a lot,

Some-some scoring when the time is right.

Man, you can do anything at the community center.

I'm debating whether I should join mom in butchering or jeff

In birdhouse building.

The birds could really use your help, babe.

Did you know they sleep on sticks and leaves?

They're called "nests," jeff.

And it's what those chirpy-ass sky-rats deserve.

You're in a bad mood, klaus.

You should try butchering.

It's been helping me with my, what's it called?

Female rage.

The rage you feel when bitches don't mind their business.

Can I help you?! Can I help you?!

Oh! Butchering, it is.

I'm in a bad mood

Because buckle's playing oboe in the community orchestra.

That was my instrument!

I didn't know you played an instrument, mr. Klaus.

I don't.

I only joined because danuta plays the piccolo,

Which sits right next to the oboe section,

But buckle took the oboe, so now I'm playing the trombone,

Which is a million miles away from piccolo!

Wow, klaus, please give us more details

About the orchestra and all the sitting around you do.

I've been looking for a reason to drive off a bridge.

Jesus.

Now, steve, I'm not super familiar

With european sports.

I've heard of the eiffel tower,

But that's technically more of a sex move.

So, fill me in. Everything about rugby -- go!

Ohp! We're here! [ groaning ]

Thanks for the ride, hon!

[ all groaning ]

Hey, stan, I'm gonna go ahead

And let you drop me off in front of the building.

I don't get it, roger.

Why is steve being so weird with me?

I wish I could help, stan,

But I'm deeply embedded in this old persona,

Maestro guenter van sliezebiscuit,

And he only knows about conducting.

Now, we're here and you've come safely

To a stop so... Arggghh!

♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪

♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪

♪ the sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪

♪ and he's shinin' a salute to the american race ♪

♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪

♪ good -- ♪ ♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪

Aah!

♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪

[ instruments tuning ]

All right, we've got a big, big tour coming up,

Starting here tonight

And ending at the hottest venue in town, the zoo!

Danuta, are elephants our favorite animal

At the zoo or what?

No. Damn it!

You're in my spot, golden fish!

Let's warm up. Hit it, sexy-phone!

Piccolo! Oboe!

I lost my oboe. This is a blowgun with holes.

[ all playing off-key ] trombone!

Piece of crap. I can only reach one note.

And now the soft trill of harp!

[ notes plink off-key ]

Okay, now everyone shut the hell up.

Cello, take us home.

[ plays beautifully ]

The boy's not much to look at,

But good damn, can he play the cello!

He's right. You're talented!

You need to invite your dad to the show tonight.

No way! I can't invite dad.

I told him I'm playing rugby, and he's proud of me for it.

He's proud of a version of you that doesn't exist.

Why do you even care?

Because, and this goes for all of you,

I'm not just a conductor of music.

I'm a conductor of life.

Really?

In that case, my daughter's stopped speaking to me --

A conductor of steve's life, just steve.

And, steve, allow me to conduct a warning.

One, two, and tell your dad,

Or daddy issues will haunt you forever.

[ cymbals crash ]

Who did that?

Jenny!

♪♪

Bird friends, say goodbye to your pile of sticks

And hello to your new, deluxe birdhouse.

You'll notice I put in some extras like lighting

And running water.

I hope you like it!

Mom, you got a little blood.

Did I get it?

[ gasps ] they're moving in!

[ birds chirping ]

Oh, wipe your feet!

This is brazilian ipe wood.

It's gorgeous but needs to be oiled often.

Hey, is that a cricket in there?

No pets!

Oh, they ate it. That's natural.

[ applause ]

[ applause stops ]

[ man coughing ]

[ classical music playing ]

Roger, you invited him?!

Yes, I'm conducting your life. Now solo!

[ playing beautifully ]

Is that steve? Is this rugby?

Where are the australians and their beefy thighs?

♪♪

[ applause ]

Lewis, not yet!

It's not me. It's the audience!

Even dad!

That's my boy playing the big-ass violin!

He's proud of me!

♪♪

Daddy's not...Proud.

[ crowd screaming ]

Steve: Maestro, what are you doing?!

Aah! Aah-aah! [ applause ]

I don't really like steve.

[ yawns ]

Good morn--

Roger, you tried to kill steve!

My steve?! This steve?!

The steve with the big bandage on him?!

Yeah, you got me pretty good. You went totally berserk.

Like, "ree-ree-ree."

Ha ha ! Yes! Yeah. It was just like that.

It wasn't me. !T was my persona!

He had a flashback to an earlier time in his life.

There was fire everywhere.

And I saw sheet music for dvorak's

"cello concerto in b minor."

The same piece we were playing at the concert!

Exactly.

I must have repressed something horrible

That happened to the maestro.

It's rare, but sometimes I'll embody a persona

That experiences their own trauma.

I think the maestro has daddy issues.

You said, "daddy" when you were in your stabbing trance.

Best kind of trance there is!

You didn't attack until dad was proud of me.

That moment, combined with the music,

Must have triggered your flashback

And subsequent violence.

A musical genius and a psychiatry whiz?

What can't this boy do?

Well, he's proud of you now, and I'm not attacking you.

What if I do this?

[ to the tune of "concerto in b minor" ]

♪ my pride and joy ♪

I'll kill you! Whoa. I see your point.

I guess I'll have to retire this persona.

What?! No!

He's the reason steve and I are finally connecting!

Did you know steve likes black licorice?

How unique is that?

I don't like to tell people.

I don't need the extra attention.

We have to figure out what happened to the maestro

And his dad and fix it.

We need you to have more flashbacks.

Sounds a little dangerous for you.

Not at all! Dad'll protect me

While you conduct that dvorak piece.

Then we piece together what happened to the maestro

And work through it.

Piece together!

Like the pieces you play in an orchestra.

We piece the memories together...

Piece by piece! Piece by piece!

[ roger hums "concerto in b minor" ]

I had no control over that!

Which is a shame because that was a beautiful flying hook.

♪♪

Are we really gonna go ahead with these concerts

Just to unlock the maestro's memories?

I'm worried you're gonna be mad if I kill steve, stan.

You might even kick me out of the house.

No way, bud.

Did I kick you out of the house

When you scratched up my old jerky boys' cd?

Yes. And I'd do it again.

♪♪

♪♪

[ crowd screaming ]

♪♪

Aah!

It was at a concert hall!

We may need to up security.

♪♪

♪♪

[ crowd screaming ]

[ gagging ]

[ electricity crackles ]

Shadowy figure!

♪♪

♪♪

[ crowd screaming ]

Da-a-a-a-d?!

I think the shadowy figure is the maestro's dad,

But I can't tell.

I wonder if maestro's father is a famous composer,

Like john williams.

Yes, or maybe hans zimmer!

Or he could be hans zimmer.

Yeah, that's a famous one, too.

I just said hans zimmer! I don't care anymore.

The maestro's dad is just going to be roger

In a little hat, anyway.

[ elephant trumpets ]

This is our last performance of the tour,

Our last chance to see who the shadowy figure is.

[ growling ]

♪♪

♪♪

Feuer! Alle raus!

[ crowd screaming ]

♪♪

Ahhh, dad! Help!

[ growling ]

[ cheetahs growl, steve yells ]

Hey, I almost saw the maestro's dad!

Roger, look at steve!

This is too dangerous. We should stop.

That's a good idea.

I knew you'd abandon me!

Just go, and leave me here to die!

They'll wake up eventually.

No, he's right, dad.

We have to finish what we started.

♪♪

[ crowd screaming ]

Roger: I remember everything!

His name was papa heinrich, and he raised maestro.

He lives in berlin,

He loved the symphony, and I burned down the concert hall!

I have to see him! I have to apologize!

[ gasps ]

We're going to berlin!

[ birds screeching ]

Guys, I don't mind if you have a party,

But you gotta keep it down.

[ dance music plays ]

All right, have your party.

But be careful with mr. Klaus' speaker!

He never goes anywhere without it.

My jb flip!

We have to turn the plane around!

Papa heinrich! You got really old.

Oh! You're a custodian!

I am! Is it really you, guenter?

Yes, papa heinrich!

I'm sorry I burned down the symphony hall

And then ran away.

It was your favorite place.

Can you ever forgive me?

Oh, guenter, it was an accident.

Of course I forgive you.

He forgives me!

[ all cheering ]

Jenny!

Let's go to dieter's brew haus!

I remember where we used to eat.

Oh it's all flooding back!

Let me just grab my big trash can!

I will pick that up!

He's really proud of his work, huh?

♪ trash, trash, I love trash ♪

♪ pick it up, throw it away ♪

♪ I'm a garbage man with a garbage can ♪

What a garbage band.

[ plays sad notes ]

Oh, no! That means I like it.

♪♪

You said that squirrel was just here for the weekend.

But I see his stockpile of nuts!

It's obvious you've got an unauthorized sublet situation.

Oh, my god, he just hopped away from me!

Jeff, does your birdhouse have a freezer

Big enough to hold a moose?

And you just forgot everything?

Yes! I pushed it away deep into my mind,

Because I was so ashamed.

And you came back

For the reopening of the concert hall!

Huh? The one I burned down?

It just reopened this week.

We should go!

It's the perfect coda to maestro's entire journey.

Beautifully put, son.

My pride is coming to a crescendo.

[ glass shatters ]

The light broke. It's trash now!

I'll clean it!

What the heck?

That could've killed steve!

I'm gonna complain!

Where's the manager? I'm the manager.

Can I help you?

I just need an excuse to get away from my table,

I don't really need a manager.

When you call for a manager,

I cannot leave until you give me a complaint.

Okay, well, the manager's bothering me.

Terribly sorry. I will speak with me!

Why did you use your super speed to loosen that light fixture

So it would fall on steve?

Papa heinrich forgave you.

You should be healed!

Man: Hey, can you keep it down?

I'm trying to piss this brand-new way

Where I stand on top of the tank

But pee delicately enough

That the increased speed of my urine

From this height doesn't splash onto the floor.

Man, I've always wanted to try that!

Go for it!

[ urinating ]

So close! Damn it!

Roger?!

Dad?!

So, papa heinrich, do you like strudel?

I like trash.

Stan, steve,

All this time we thought my persona had daddy issues,

But it's actually me!

What do you mean?

This is my dad, my real dad!

My issues are with him, so, papa heinrich, shove off!

Wow! My dream is realized! I am become the trash!

Heya, how ya doin'? Name's fred.

You got a crazy chin, my friend.

This seedy-looking man is your dad?

What? Oh. Hold on.

[ both gasp ]

He does personas, like me!

Hey big man, how much that suit cost ya?

I know a guy that can get you one for real cheap

And looks expensive.

Want me to make a call?

Stan, you gotta take him up on that!

Roger, we can and will get the suits later.

But first, we need to know what's going on!

Well, it all started in the --

Actually, you know what? I hate telling a story

Without a beer in my hands.

Dad, would you mind? I'd be delighted.

You start the story, and I'll be right back.

This round's on me.

Uh, hey, sport, what's your last name again?

Smith. Sport smith.

He's putting it on my tab, isn't he?

It all started in the '70s!

Of course, in the '70s,

Everybody found their way to berlin --

Great food, cool music, and charming, little businesses.

[ dance music plays ]

And that's when I saw dad.

Fred left when I was a kid,

But I recognized him immediately from photos

My mom would burn annually as a cleansing ritual.

He was so awesome.

He was a lone wolf, a renegade, and brimming with sexual energy.

Hey, you girls wanna kiss an alien?

I'm an alien! Gimme a hug!

Roger: But I was too scared to talk to him.

He left when I was a baby,

Probably because I was a stupid baby who deserved it.

I had to make sure I was perfect

Before I walked back into his life.

If I could figure out what he loved,

I could change myself to be that.

And what he loved was the symphony.

[ classical music plays ]

♪♪

That's why I became guenter van sliezebiscuit,

The son of the concert hall's custodian.

Being guenter gave me full access to fred and the symphony.

And I was able to study all the great conductors

That came through.

And once I was ready

And had bought that shockingly expensive white stick,

I presented myself to my father

As a conductor of the thing he loved most -- the symphony.

But I blew it.

[ crowd gasps ]

[ crowd screaming ]

It wasn't papa heinrich in that seat.

It was my real dad, fred.

Daddy, don't look!

I could tell he recognized me.

A son can always recognize when his father recognizes his son.

And he left, disappointed in me again.

Then I repressed my abject failure

Into maestro's persona and ran.

To be honest, roger, this guy sounds like a real dirtbag.

And not a cool dirtbag like you.

Like a guy you'd...

You'd see sitting on a folding chair outside a pawn shop.

Yes, thank you.

What?! Where are you getting that?

This is a story about a bad son

Undeserving of a father's love

Who must have done something terrible

To push his daddy away... Probably.

Roger, it's not your fault.

Wrong again! Not wrong!

Your dad abandoned you twice in the story you just told.

And he's trying to do it again!

♪♪

Dad, did they run out of beer or...

Oh! [ tires screech ]

Okay, there's a chance he might be trying to ditch me.

Go get answers, roger. You deserve them.

F-y-I, ma'am,

Wherever you're heading I'm gonna have to stop by

The liquor store first to pick me up another mad dog.

The meter will continue running.

No problem. Hey, quick "q" -- why are you abandoning me?

Roger! There you are! You see, what happened was...

Crash! [ tires screech ]

Roses?

For someone you need to apologize to?

For abandoning? Oh, yeah, good idea.

Aah!

[ bells ring ]

You may now kiss the -- wait a second. You ain't a...

Oh! The bride's a real broad.

What are you doing after this wedding, sweetheart?

Eucchh! Forgive him, father. He knows not what he does!

Or does he?!

♪♪

Look! We're twins.

And twins tell each other everything.

[ panting ] okay, okay, I can't keep running.

Your personas are tireless.

They're kind of my favorite thing.

Speaking of, look where we are.

Welcome to the berlin concert hall!

Let the gut times and the fruit rinds roll!

[ birds chirping ]

[ wind howls ]

That's right, you ingrates!

Winter's come early! [ laughs ]

This is my favorite part of butchering --

Making snow out of the bones.

All right, let's just get to it.

You left when I was a little kid,

Only 400 years old.

So, what did I do wrong?

Eh, I just wanted to be on my own.

It had nothing to do with you.

My whole life had nothing to do with you.

That's kinda the point.

But come on. You're here on earth!

In berlin!

The only town you've seen me in in the last thousand years.

You have to be here for me a little bit.

Oh, I'm just popping in

For the reopening of the symphony

And to stock up on my eczema cream.

Honestly, I forgot you were on this planet.

Stan and steve were right. You're a dirtbag!

I don't need you.

Yeah, you don't need me or anyone.

Needing people

Means other people have control of your life.

Or it means you're lucky enough to have people

In your life who care.

Oh, that family you're playing house with?

Please.

They'll drop you the second you get difficult.

I'm always difficult.

I tried to murder steve dozens of times

In the last three days alone.

Roger! Are you in here?

Yes, I'm over here with my... With my no one.

Sorry, roger. He's missing out.

I guess I just wanted a father-son bond

Like you two have.

We can't all have an incredible bond like, uh...

Like papa heinrich and an old milk carton?

Oh, no. The magic's gone.

What the hell?!

Well, I'm disappointed you're not playing rugby!

I knew it!

Oh, my son, the great detective.

♪ and that's an episode set in germany ♪

♪ but had nothing to do with me, the german fi-I-I-I-sh ♪

Bye! Have a great time!