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2x21 - Blade
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[animal howls]
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And when he woke up,
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the kid looked in the mirror
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and realized that he
had changed into...this!
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Yawn.
You wanna scare people?
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Let them smell your costume.
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Pretend to be brave all you want,
my little light bulb,
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but look around.
Creepy graveyard, Halloween night.
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[screeches]
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Full moon.
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Ha.
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00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:33,999
You'll all be crying for Fury
before I can say "boo."
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Did our fearless, one-eyed
leader say how long we'd
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have to wait for this
so-called special delivery?
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[wind whistling]
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Remember, fear is only in the mind.
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Fear? I think you have me
confused with someone else.
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I'm Spider "Man".
Fear is not in my vocabulary.
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- Boo!
- Aah!
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Ha! I got you.
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[laughter]
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Let me get my phone, while I
record your ladylike screams.
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What are you all looking at?
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There's something
behind me, isn't there?
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Oh!
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Aah!
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Run.
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- Aah!
- Huh?
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What are these things?
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- Ghosts?
- Zombies?
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Vampires.
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[hissing]
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G-g-g... vampires?
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
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Seriously? Vampires?
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I thought I told you. Run!
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Guys, we're superheroes.
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Just 'cause some dude with cool shades
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tells us to run doesn't
mean we actually run.
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Those probably aren't
even real vampires.
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Get off me, bat breath.
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Okay, so they are real vampires.
They're still bad guys, right?
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This is no different than fighting,
like, you know, Batroc the Leaper.
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Okay, maybe a little different.
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They're, like, shadows or something.
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They have ninja speed.
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And they can do that.
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Is that even in the
vampire fighting handbook?
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There are worse threats out
here tonight than these things.
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- Like what?
- Me.
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[clapping]
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Whoa. That was so...
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00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:17,689
Oh, welcome back to the
party, chicken little.
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- He said "run."
- You totally chopped those guys.
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Real heroes don't do that, delivery guy.
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[growls]
Uh, I mean sir.
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- The name's Blade.
- 'Cause you carry blades?
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Are we allowed to just name ourselves
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with whatever we happen
to have in our pockets?
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00:03:32,172 --> 00:03:35,840
Those things were shadow
vampires, undead drones,
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magical manifestations...
never alive.
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You would know if you
were the SHIELD agents
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I told Fury to send.
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- Whoa. Hold on. Aah.
- More coming.
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Okay, team, on my command.
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We've got to get out of this open space.
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You, make a hole.
I'm going to drive them into that alley.
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00:03:54,844 --> 00:03:56,177
We can control them there.
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00:03:56,179 --> 00:03:59,347
You two, take the
flanks. Drive them center.
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Helmet face, eyes in the sky.
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00:04:02,886 --> 00:04:05,587
Helmet face. Good one.
That's actually his name.
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But just so you know,
I'm the leader here.
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Right.
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00:04:10,327 --> 00:04:12,894
Listen, I'm sure you're the
best at what you do and all,
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00:04:12,896 --> 00:04:14,095
but you can stow the 'tude.
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00:04:14,097 --> 00:04:18,633
We got off on the wrong foot here.
If you'd let us in on...
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I could do that too if
I had flash grenades.
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00:04:39,088 --> 00:04:41,055
Oh, now he's just showing off.
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[shouts]
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Okay, I'm willing to work with you here.
I see what you're doing.
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00:05:00,877 --> 00:05:03,262
You sent Power Man to
punch a hole because you
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00:05:03,263 --> 00:05:05,647
knew his invulnerability
would protect him, right?
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00:05:05,649 --> 00:05:09,717
- He's invulnerable?
- Incoming!
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Your flash grenades, charged with
ultraviolet rays like sunlight.
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00:05:15,325 --> 00:05:16,758
Yeah.
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00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,661
Well, I just happen to have
my very own flash grenade.
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He's not that smart,
but he's plenty bright.
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00:05:21,765 --> 00:05:24,799
Hey, bucket head. Light us up.
Super Nova style.
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On it, webs.
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00:05:27,436 --> 00:05:30,004
Two can lead at this game.
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00:05:30,006 --> 00:05:31,673
Guys, herd them together.
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Unless you're wearing SPF 10,000,
I suggest you take cover.
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Time to go super me.
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Aah!
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Ugh. I hope you don't need
me to do that again soon.
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00:06:22,058 --> 00:06:23,424
Or in the next month.
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00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:26,260
Now who's leading this team, big guy?
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[both growl]
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- Stragglers.
- Don't bother.
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Their master will finish
them for this failure.
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- Failure to do what?
- To retrieve this.
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Is that the delivery
Fury sent us to pick up?
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I was hoping for pizza.
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Pick up?
I was expecting heavy escort.
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This doesn't leave my hands
until I look Fury in his one eye.
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00:06:49,152 --> 00:06:53,121
- What exactly is happening?
- Dracula is coming.
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00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:56,459
To take over the world.
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[laughs]
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And... and delivered
with that serious face.
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Oh, Dracula, take over the world.
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00:07:07,403 --> 00:07:10,271
[crickets chirping]
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What?
Why is no one else laughing?
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00:07:14,488 --> 00:07:18,880
What part of "handing it off to
my team" don't you understand?
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Dracula's coming, Fury,
and you are not prepared.
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He keeps saying "Dracula's coming."
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That's code for something, right?
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00:07:25,355 --> 00:07:28,189
Yeah.
It's code for "Dracula's coming."
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The Dracula.
He's very real and very dangerous.
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00:07:32,027 --> 00:07:34,229
[device beeps]
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00:07:35,231 --> 00:07:38,266
Most people think he's a
character from books and movies,
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but those are based on history.
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00:07:41,371 --> 00:07:43,805
Dracula is the King of vampires,
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00:07:43,807 --> 00:07:48,910
an undead nightmare that wages
war on the world of the living.
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00:07:48,912 --> 00:07:52,313
He will not rest until we
are all under his control.
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00:07:52,315 --> 00:07:55,850
And if he gets his hands
on this, the war is over.
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- What is "it" exactly?
- It's Tekhamatep's Ankh.
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00:07:59,489 --> 00:08:01,823
Well, half of one, anyway.
129
00:08:01,825 --> 00:08:04,192
Are you guys all just making
this stuff up as you go?
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00:08:04,194 --> 00:08:08,329
An Ankh is an ancient Egyptian symbol
known as the "Key of life."
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00:08:08,331 --> 00:08:12,033
It is believed to act as a bridge
between the living and the dead.
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00:08:12,035 --> 00:08:13,868
It was used by the ancient Pharaohs
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00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:17,538
to communicate with their ancestors,
but, as you might imagine,
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00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:20,408
it became a bit of a
problem for the living.
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00:08:20,410 --> 00:08:23,845
So it was decided, by some
of the smarter Pharaohs,
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to break the Ankh into
two separate pieces.
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00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:30,518
It's been that way for about
8,000 years, give or take.
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00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,254
It's only in recent times
that they have been unearthed
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00:08:33,256 --> 00:08:35,423
and Dracula has learned
of their existence.
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00:08:35,425 --> 00:08:39,360
If the halves of this Ankh
were ever found and joined together,
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any undead creature
would become invulnerable.
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00:08:41,998 --> 00:08:45,333
Dracula would be able to walk by day
and have no weaknesses.
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No force on this Earth could stop it.
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00:08:51,373 --> 00:08:54,408
Now you all know the
seriousness of the situation.
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00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:57,545
We need to find the other half
of the Ankh before Dracula does.
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Oh. It's at the Museum
of Natural History.
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00:08:59,883 --> 00:09:02,250
You're kidding. Out in the open?
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00:09:02,252 --> 00:09:05,052
All the real good stuff
is kept in a secret chamber room
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00:09:05,054 --> 00:09:07,255
for premium, gold circle,
card-carrying members
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00:09:07,257 --> 00:09:09,657
of the Museum of Natural
History fan society.
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00:09:09,659 --> 00:09:13,327
Obviously I'm the only person
in this room who's a member.
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Okay, we move on the museum.
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00:09:16,266 --> 00:09:18,466
There's no "we" in this.
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00:09:18,468 --> 00:09:22,336
You let me know when
the real team arrives.
155
00:09:22,338 --> 00:09:24,505
"Real team"?
What's he talking about?
156
00:09:24,507 --> 00:09:28,009
Sorry, kid. This is no
longer an escorting mission.
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00:09:28,011 --> 00:09:30,625
This is much more dangerous.
If I had known that a bunch
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of shadow vamps
were on Blade's tail,
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00:09:32,982 --> 00:09:34,548
I would have never send you to meet him.
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00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:37,351
Blade's right.
You've got to sit this one out.
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All: Huh?
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Just trying to say hi!
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Aah! Ugh.
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You heard Fury.
Go back to the playground.
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00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,301
If Dracula's as
dangerous as you and Fury
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are making him out to be,
you need us.
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00:09:55,505 --> 00:09:57,371
You saw us take down
the shadow vampires.
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00:09:57,373 --> 00:09:59,096
We can help. Whoa.
169
00:10:00,442 --> 00:10:01,609
Aah.
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00:10:01,611 --> 00:10:03,711
These are not supervillains.
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00:10:03,713 --> 00:10:07,214
You don't have a clue
what we're up against.
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00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:09,550
And what makes you the expert?
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Raah!
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00:10:14,557 --> 00:10:16,223
You got a dental plan for those?
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00:10:16,225 --> 00:10:18,025
I owe that blood-sucker.
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00:10:18,027 --> 00:10:20,962
I'm not missing a shot
at him if I can take it.
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00:10:20,964 --> 00:10:23,197
I can't have a bunch of
rookies getting in my way.
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00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:28,284
Looks like your conversation
was mature and reasonable.
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00:10:28,319 --> 00:10:30,311
If you call knifing me
to a wall reasonable.
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00:10:30,346 --> 00:10:32,006
I think we're in the middle
of a vampire vendetta.
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00:10:32,008 --> 00:10:33,407
Blade's going on a mission
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00:10:33,409 --> 00:10:35,376
I'm not sure he plans
on coming back from.
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00:10:35,378 --> 00:10:37,080
It sounds out of our depth.
184
00:10:37,115 --> 00:10:38,346
And we still got trick
or treating to do.
185
00:10:38,648 --> 00:10:40,314
I'm surprised at you guys.
186
00:10:40,316 --> 00:10:42,750
We can buy twice as much
candy for half off tomorrow.
187
00:11:06,808 --> 00:11:09,977
We're here to help.
188
00:11:09,979 --> 00:11:12,713
We understand we aren't
your first choice.
189
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:15,883
Yeah, and some of us would
rather be eating candy, but...
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00:11:15,885 --> 00:11:18,585
If Dracula gets his hands on
the other half of that Ankh,
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00:11:18,587 --> 00:11:20,621
we're all sucker-fied.
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00:11:20,623 --> 00:11:21,655
[sighs]
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00:11:21,657 --> 00:11:25,492
Just remember. Your choice.
194
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,635
You gotta be kidding me.
195
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:42,509
Get me an E.T.A. on the H.C. asap.
196
00:11:42,511 --> 00:11:45,346
Full moon or not, it's
time to monster up.
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00:12:04,666 --> 00:12:07,668
So we've never fought
Dracula before. So what?
198
00:12:07,670 --> 00:12:10,471
We've all faced personal demons,
and we know it's scary.
199
00:12:10,473 --> 00:12:11,839
I'm not scared.
200
00:12:11,841 --> 00:12:14,641
I've heard that before.
Tonight, in fact.
201
00:12:14,643 --> 00:12:16,937
And the guy who said it
was just as convincing as you are.
202
00:12:17,087 --> 00:12:19,322
- Wasn't that you who said it?
- Shh.
203
00:12:29,157 --> 00:12:30,624
Oh, cool.
204
00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:32,195
- Nice.
- Sweet.
205
00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:34,061
Oh, Coulson wasn't kidding.
206
00:12:41,169 --> 00:12:45,572
Between you and me, I'm officially
sort of feeling a little spooked.
207
00:12:45,574 --> 00:12:48,642
When that happens, I
go to my happy place.
208
00:12:52,614 --> 00:12:55,149
[laughing]
209
00:12:55,151 --> 00:12:57,451
Stop giggling. It's creepy.
210
00:12:57,453 --> 00:12:59,686
I'm creepy? You're the
mayor of creep town,
211
00:12:59,688 --> 00:13:02,689
- creepy clatter mouth.
- Oh, if I'm the mayor,
212
00:13:02,691 --> 00:13:04,858
I officially hand over
the key to the city to you,
213
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:08,095
- creepy Von Crypt keep...
- Stop it. Focus.
214
00:13:08,097 --> 00:13:10,631
Coulson said the Ankh
was somewhere around...
215
00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:12,166
Here!
216
00:13:12,168 --> 00:13:14,168
No, it's in a protective shield!
217
00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:17,838
No, look, I pulled it right out.
There's no shield protecting it.
218
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,675
That's because it's a cloaking shield.
Now the vampires know it's here.
219
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,610
What? Oh.
220
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,862
Spider-Man, hold the Ankh.
I'm getting you out of here.
221
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,132
Too late.
222
00:13:52,774 --> 00:13:56,323
Blade.
Fighting alongside mortals now?
223
00:13:56,779 --> 00:14:00,113
Have you sunk so low?
Hand over my Ankh
224
00:14:00,115 --> 00:14:03,750
and I will allow you all
to live to see morning.
225
00:14:03,752 --> 00:14:06,513
G-g-g-g... Dracula!
226
00:14:11,793 --> 00:14:14,528
You mock me, Blade.
227
00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:17,498
You would send children to face me?
228
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:20,701
I am Dracula, King of vampires,
229
00:14:20,703 --> 00:14:24,938
and I will have what is rightfully mine.
230
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:27,274
King of the "blah, blah,
blah" is more like it.
231
00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:29,576
Let's get fighting or
get you some bronzer.
232
00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:33,814
You child. Blade has
led you to your doom.
233
00:14:33,816 --> 00:14:36,683
Your team is severely out of its league.
234
00:14:36,685 --> 00:14:39,172
Wait. We're out of the
SHIELD softball league?
235
00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:40,954
But we had a game next Tuesday!
236
00:14:40,956 --> 00:14:45,186
Hello, terrifying bad guy here.
Not really time for jokes.
237
00:14:45,311 --> 00:14:48,312
Finally happened.
He snapped with fear.
238
00:14:48,314 --> 00:14:51,549
Yes, I'm scared, and, yes,
I know I'm talking a lot of crazy,
239
00:14:51,551 --> 00:14:55,352
but it's really to knock count
haircut off his game so I can do this.
240
00:14:55,354 --> 00:14:59,082
Seriously, I'm really a good pitcher.
Check out my fastball.
241
00:15:00,459 --> 00:15:02,193
Pathetic.
242
00:15:02,195 --> 00:15:04,228
Okay, maybe I do talk too much.
243
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:11,902
Are we finished here?
244
00:15:11,904 --> 00:15:14,371
Not by a long shot.
245
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:29,620
[Spider-Man]
Nova. Instant sunburn.
246
00:15:29,622 --> 00:15:31,655
Feel the heat, Drac.
247
00:15:31,657 --> 00:15:34,124
Aah!
248
00:15:37,929 --> 00:15:41,232
[grunts]
249
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:45,002
[sighs] Oh, yeah.
Two in one night.
250
00:15:45,004 --> 00:15:49,607
Good looking and
vampire wrecking. I am...
251
00:15:49,609 --> 00:15:53,410
Fools. You think I was not
warned of your weak abilities
252
00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:57,348
by my shadow minions?
There is nothing that you...
253
00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:58,849
Sweet Christmas.
254
00:15:58,851 --> 00:16:00,551
Did you talk this much
when you were alive?
255
00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:07,258
You know, you should floss more.
256
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:09,026
What? I'm trying smack talk.
257
00:16:11,563 --> 00:16:12,630
Enough!
258
00:16:14,466 --> 00:16:16,533
Blade, wake up.
259
00:16:16,535 --> 00:16:19,436
This is your party, and you got
us doing all the heavy lifting.
260
00:16:19,438 --> 00:16:23,112
I was gonna use this as my trick
if you weren't gonna give us any treats.
261
00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:29,780
[groans]
262
00:16:29,782 --> 00:16:32,283
Did you seriously just do that?
263
00:16:32,285 --> 00:16:34,285
Uh, nope. But in
other news... Dracula!
264
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:43,493
[roars]
265
00:16:47,599 --> 00:16:51,602
How many times will we
do this dance, Blade?
266
00:16:51,604 --> 00:16:54,938
The partners change, but
the song remains the same.
267
00:17:01,513 --> 00:17:04,081
I am the undying Lord of the night.
268
00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:06,984
And you are a mistake.
269
00:17:11,022 --> 00:17:12,323
Hey, wait for us!
270
00:17:12,325 --> 00:17:13,624
[monkey shrieks]
271
00:17:15,593 --> 00:17:17,561
Close shave. Thanks, P.M.
272
00:17:17,563 --> 00:17:20,497
Thank me in candy. If we survive.
273
00:17:25,197 --> 00:17:27,191
Aah!
274
00:17:27,887 --> 00:17:29,353
Invulnerable?
275
00:17:29,355 --> 00:17:34,558
If I can't bite you,
then I will... control you.
276
00:17:36,228 --> 00:17:37,528
Power Man!
277
00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:43,601
Let me go.
Let... Let...
278
00:17:43,603 --> 00:17:46,237
- What's he doing to him?
- Mesmerism.
279
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,705
Mesmer what now?
280
00:17:47,707 --> 00:17:50,441
- Your mask, are those reflective lenses?
- Yes.
281
00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:51,775
- Good.
- Why?
282
00:17:51,777 --> 00:17:53,544
You're about to see.
283
00:17:59,951 --> 00:18:01,986
Destroy Blade.
284
00:18:01,988 --> 00:18:05,990
Yes, my King.
285
00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:16,934
Power Man, stop!
Wake up!
286
00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:21,405
Good. More slaves.
287
00:18:21,407 --> 00:18:24,742
Nice try, Drac.
But it'll take a lot...
288
00:18:24,744 --> 00:18:27,444
I am your slave.
289
00:18:27,446 --> 00:18:31,782
Destroy the interlopers.
Bring me the Ankh.
290
00:18:31,784 --> 00:18:33,884
[all] Yes, lord Dracula.
291
00:18:33,886 --> 00:18:35,819
Guys, stop!
292
00:18:35,821 --> 00:18:38,689
Drac's just mesmer...
mermaiding you, or something.
293
00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:44,461
Do not resist.
294
00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:46,664
Yes, master.
295
00:18:46,666 --> 00:18:49,433
Do they say "psych" in Vampire-ville?
296
00:18:51,936 --> 00:18:55,339
Guys, mindless zombie-ism
doesn't suit you.
297
00:18:55,341 --> 00:18:58,309
Except maybe Nova.
298
00:18:58,811 --> 00:19:00,778
Please, I don't wanna hurt you.
299
00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:03,847
More importantly, I
don't want you to hurt me.
300
00:19:03,849 --> 00:19:07,318
You were amusing for
a few moments, spider.
301
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,886
Take comfort in that.
302
00:19:08,888 --> 00:19:12,556
I think when you say
"comfort" you don't mean it.
303
00:19:12,558 --> 00:19:15,759
Wait. Herbarium.
As in greenhouse?
304
00:19:15,761 --> 00:19:17,795
Hey, Blade! Heads up.
305
00:19:17,797 --> 00:19:21,865
Have you lost it?
306
00:19:21,867 --> 00:19:23,801
It's over.
307
00:19:23,803 --> 00:19:25,703
You know, for the first
time tonight, I agree.
308
00:19:25,705 --> 00:19:28,605
Greenhouses use U.V. light,
just like daylight.
309
00:19:28,607 --> 00:19:31,708
So let's just say
"it's closing time."
310
00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:42,786
Oh, yeah. You ruined my
Halloween, so smell my feet!
311
00:19:42,788 --> 00:19:45,022
Aah!
312
00:19:45,024 --> 00:19:47,024
Lord Dracula.
313
00:19:48,126 --> 00:19:52,129
This war has just begun.
314
00:19:52,131 --> 00:19:53,831
No, wait!
315
00:19:58,069 --> 00:20:00,904
Are you crazy?
You webbed me up.
316
00:20:00,906 --> 00:20:04,875
You're a vampire.
I was protecting you from the U.V. rays.
317
00:20:04,877 --> 00:20:08,045
Your buddy went super nova
twice tonight and I didn't burn.
318
00:20:08,047 --> 00:20:10,881
I'm only a half-blood.
A day-walker.
319
00:20:11,033 --> 00:20:15,736
- The sun doesn't hurt me.
- Day-walker? Oh.
320
00:20:15,738 --> 00:20:17,004
So what do we do now?
321
00:20:17,006 --> 00:20:19,907
Is he gonna turn my friends
into full-on vampires?
322
00:20:19,909 --> 00:20:23,844
No, he'll keep them as hostages
in order to keep me off his back.
323
00:20:23,846 --> 00:20:26,613
So there's still a chance.
324
00:20:26,615 --> 00:20:28,949
I'll track Dracula and your friends.
325
00:20:28,951 --> 00:20:32,986
You, however, must look
into the true face of fear.
326
00:20:32,988 --> 00:20:36,590
True face of... ?
Oh.
327
00:20:36,592 --> 00:20:39,710
[Spider-Man] So if it's okay, I'd
like to skip the part where you yell at me
328
00:20:39,711 --> 00:20:42,829
for disobeying orders so we
can get back to saving our friends.
329
00:20:44,832 --> 00:20:46,233
I learned that fear is in your mind.
330
00:20:46,235 --> 00:20:48,068
Except for monsters,
and I hate monsters.
331
00:20:48,070 --> 00:20:50,371
That work for you?
332
00:20:50,773 --> 00:20:54,241
If that's what you learned tonight,
you're gonna love this.
333
00:20:54,243 --> 00:20:56,176
My team of experts are finally here.
334
00:20:56,178 --> 00:20:58,779
Experts? The big guns?
The Avengers?!
335
00:20:58,781 --> 00:21:01,399
The Fantastic Four?
Power pack?
336
00:21:02,184 --> 00:21:04,161
Not quite.
337
00:21:05,354 --> 00:21:09,790
Meet the perfect team for
this mission, Spider-Man.
338
00:21:09,792 --> 00:21:12,812
The Living Mummy.
339
00:21:14,730 --> 00:21:17,197
Frankenstein's Monster.
340
00:21:20,935 --> 00:21:23,737
[roars]
341
00:21:23,739 --> 00:21:26,470
Werewolf by Night.
342
00:21:28,611 --> 00:21:31,462
Meet the Howling Commandos.
343
00:21:31,713 --> 00:21:34,014
G-g-g... monsters!
344
00:21:34,115 --> 00:21:36,447
To be continued...
345
00:21:38,668 --> 00:21:41,524
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346
00:21:41,574 --> 00:21:46,124
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