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2x09 - House Arrest
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00:00:03,913 --> 00:00:06,981
[screams]
Ugh!
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00:00:07,617 --> 00:00:10,286
Yep, it's your friendly neighborhood me,
4
00:00:10,288 --> 00:00:13,055
getting beaten up by
a guy in a bear suit.
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00:00:13,057 --> 00:00:16,625
Grizzly! Another run of the
mill thief in an exo bear suit.
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00:00:16,627 --> 00:00:18,327
He's on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s most wanted list
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at number one...
hundred and seventy-three.
8
00:00:22,866 --> 00:00:25,467
[growls]
9
00:00:28,371 --> 00:00:31,006
[Spiderman] You're "barely" a challenge.
10
00:00:31,008 --> 00:00:35,010
Stopped grizzly from stealing a
picnic basket full of diamonds.
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00:00:37,714 --> 00:00:38,881
[grunts]
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00:00:38,883 --> 00:00:39,948
Uh oh!
13
00:00:42,352 --> 00:00:44,887
Isn't there a forest fire you
should be putting out somewhere?
14
00:00:45,955 --> 00:00:46,955
Think about it.
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00:00:46,957 --> 00:00:51,460
Huh? Hey!
I'm gonna pound you!
16
00:00:59,736 --> 00:01:02,471
My bear hug will shut
you up once and for all!
17
00:01:02,473 --> 00:01:05,374
Great! Another tight squeeze,
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00:01:05,376 --> 00:01:07,443
as if I don't have enough
of those in my life.
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00:01:07,445 --> 00:01:10,346
My house is barely big
enough for me and Aunt May.
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00:01:10,348 --> 00:01:13,615
But with the whole gang?
I'm starting to think it was
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a bad idea inviting them to stay
while the helicarrier is being rebuilt.
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00:01:17,621 --> 00:01:19,655
Power Man using all the hot water.
23
00:01:19,657 --> 00:01:22,091
White Tiger hogging the computer.
24
00:01:22,093 --> 00:01:24,660
Nova "helping" with the cooking.
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00:01:24,662 --> 00:01:27,029
Iron Fist with his [coughs] incense.
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00:01:27,031 --> 00:01:29,665
[coughing]
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00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:33,068
All things considered, getting
mauled by a guy in a bear suit
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00:01:33,070 --> 00:01:35,471
is better than going home.
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Webs, looks like you need a hand.
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Come on, guys. I don't need you here.
I got this one covered.
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00:01:50,954 --> 00:01:55,057
- Is that so?
- Uh-oh. Whoa!
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Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
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00:01:58,062 --> 00:01:59,628
Ow!
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[screaming]
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
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00:02:18,615 --> 00:02:22,017
Griz ain't too clear on the
whole Spiderman thing, is he?
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So distracted, I almost
got myself street spanked.
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I've gotta talk to the team
about giving me my elbow room.
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00:02:28,993 --> 00:02:33,762
Seriously, of all the exoskeleton
suits you could wear... a bear?
40
00:02:33,764 --> 00:02:37,699
Are we now officially out of animals
to make super villains out of?
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00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:39,668
- Hiyah!
- Whoa!
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Kiyah kiyah! Kiyah!
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Finally! My turn!
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[grunts]
45
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[yells]
46
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Uh-oh. I usually just leave the
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"from your friendly neighborhood
Spider-man" note and split.
48
00:03:01,492 --> 00:03:05,794
Otherwise there's all this
paperwork. I hate paperwork.
49
00:03:05,796 --> 00:03:09,498
Im gonna blow. Can you guys help
me out with the boys in... blue?
50
00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:16,538
Oh, great. Just great.
51
00:03:18,708 --> 00:03:20,676
Anybody home? Anybody?
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00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:23,178
Well, Aunt May left us
alone for the weekend.
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00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:26,548
Maybe one of my teammates,
you know the guys that left me
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alone to deal with the
po-po all by myself. Huh?!
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00:03:29,019 --> 00:03:32,554
You're back? Already?
That was fast.
56
00:03:32,556 --> 00:03:35,090
Umm, here, put away your books!
57
00:03:35,092 --> 00:03:37,526
Huh? Huh?
58
00:03:37,528 --> 00:03:40,729
You! Oh, um...
your room is a mess.
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Uh, go upstairs and clean it.
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00:03:42,666 --> 00:03:45,000
Since when do you give me orders?
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- Trash duty!
- Whoa whoa!
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- Thank you, friend.
- I'm not on trash duty this week!
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00:03:55,912 --> 00:03:59,581
- And what are you doing?
- Nothing.
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00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:01,683
What's going on here?
65
00:04:01,685 --> 00:04:03,652
[cell phone rings]
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00:04:03,654 --> 00:04:05,921
Hey, M.J.
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00:04:05,923 --> 00:04:08,090
No. Um, I can't talk right now
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00:04:08,092 --> 00:04:11,994
because of that...
"thing" that we talked about.
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00:04:11,996 --> 00:04:14,196
Why is she calling you?
Hey, I want to...
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00:04:14,198 --> 00:04:16,198
[doorbell rings]
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00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,266
Now what?
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00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,173
That's why you ditched me?
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00:04:25,175 --> 00:04:27,142
So you could come
home and throw a party?
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00:04:27,144 --> 00:04:31,580
- Um, surprise?
- We are not having a party!
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00:04:31,582 --> 00:04:33,649
I don't want Flash
Thompson touching my stuff!
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00:04:38,121 --> 00:04:40,222
Besides, in case you've forgotten,
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we have the one-eyed big
brother looking over us.
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00:04:51,768 --> 00:04:54,236
If we have a party,
Fury will hear all about it.
79
00:04:54,238 --> 00:04:57,873
Relax. You guys change.
Nova's got it covered.
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00:04:57,875 --> 00:04:59,107
[grunts]
81
00:04:59,109 --> 00:05:02,077
I always worry when you
say you've got it covered.
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00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:04,046
I just shut off the S.H.I.E.L.D. devices
83
00:05:04,048 --> 00:05:07,115
when I don't want Fury
peeking in on my personal time.
84
00:05:07,117 --> 00:05:11,153
Burn those buns, ladies!
No pain, no gain!
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Cut! No no no no no!
Cut cut cut!
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S.H.I.E.L.D. security in this house
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runs through this panel.
One little pulse and...
88
00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,526
- party time.
- Wait!
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00:05:24,561 --> 00:05:26,335
Like when do you
know how anything works?
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00:05:26,337 --> 00:05:29,705
Dude, you made me miss!
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00:05:29,707 --> 00:05:32,808
[computer voice]
Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
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00:05:53,196 --> 00:05:55,263
Did you hear something?
93
00:05:55,265 --> 00:05:57,065
Sounds like the party started.
94
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:59,101
[computer voice]
Alert. Perimeter breached.
95
00:05:59,103 --> 00:06:01,003
Analyzing threat.
96
00:06:01,005 --> 00:06:03,772
Threat assessment... none.
97
00:06:03,774 --> 00:06:05,907
Implement omega lockdown!
98
00:06:05,909 --> 00:06:08,076
What does "omega lockdown" mean?
99
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:19,187
[computer voice] Omega lockdown.
Destroy all intruders.
100
00:06:19,189 --> 00:06:21,123
It means the party's over.
101
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,797
"Relax. Get ready for the party.
Nova's got it covered."
102
00:06:28,799 --> 00:06:30,732
[computer voice]
Intruders identified.
103
00:06:30,734 --> 00:06:32,934
Neutralize with extreme prejudice!
104
00:06:32,936 --> 00:06:35,237
I'm no intruder!
This is my house!
105
00:06:35,239 --> 00:06:38,040
And up until a second ago,
you were my house furnace!
106
00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:50,318
[computer voice]
Surrender or be destroyed!
107
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,154
I think I made the furnace mad!
108
00:06:57,827 --> 00:07:02,164
- Aunt May's stuff!
- Perfect! Use her stuff as weapons!
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00:07:02,166 --> 00:07:05,033
Aunt May's got more hobbies
than you've got lame puns.
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00:07:12,175 --> 00:07:14,910
No, don't use mine!
Use Aunt May's!
111
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,145
What?! These are yours?
112
00:07:17,147 --> 00:07:20,282
What? I don't want to bulk up,
okay? It's all about toning.
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00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:30,125
Whoa!
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00:07:30,127 --> 00:07:32,260
[computer voice]
Surrender or be destroyed!
115
00:07:34,964 --> 00:07:36,998
[victorious laugh]
116
00:07:39,802 --> 00:07:42,404
Since when did Aunt May
get a skateboard?
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00:07:42,406 --> 00:07:44,906
After cricket, she
wanted a real challenge.
118
00:07:44,908 --> 00:07:46,007
Huh?
119
00:07:55,818 --> 00:07:59,287
Oh, come off it!
You're such a phony!
120
00:07:59,289 --> 00:08:02,257
Pretending to be buddies with
Aunt May just to get my goat.
121
00:08:02,259 --> 00:08:06,328
It's not fair to her! She
really thinks you're her friend.
122
00:08:06,330 --> 00:08:08,487
I don't want you hurting her!
123
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:12,801
For your information, I'm not
pretending to be nice to Aunt May.
124
00:08:12,803 --> 00:08:14,870
Really? Scuba?
125
00:08:14,872 --> 00:08:16,872
[growls, chomps]
126
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,215
You just genuinely like
spending time with Aunt May?
127
00:08:33,489 --> 00:08:35,924
Well, to answer your question...
yeah, she's cool.
128
00:08:42,965 --> 00:08:45,467
I don't see no pizza,
no snacks, no nothing.
129
00:08:45,469 --> 00:08:47,836
What, is he hiding in the basement?
130
00:08:51,507 --> 00:08:53,909
You know, you're lucky, Parker,
to have an aunt like May.
131
00:08:53,911 --> 00:08:56,845
In fact... [grunts]
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00:08:56,847 --> 00:09:00,916
For some stupid reason
she's crazy about you.
133
00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:06,321
I haven't had family
around for a long time.
134
00:09:06,323 --> 00:09:08,957
It would be all right if I had
someone cool like her to believe in me,
135
00:09:08,959 --> 00:09:11,827
the way she believes in you.
136
00:09:11,829 --> 00:09:14,496
[sighs] Okay, I was wrong.
137
00:09:14,498 --> 00:09:18,166
But you're still an idiot for
setting off the security protocols.
138
00:09:18,168 --> 00:09:20,101
Now how do we shut them down?
139
00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:23,238
There's an antenna array up
in the attic. Maybe if we...
140
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,274
Hiyah! Hiyah! Kiyah!
141
00:09:26,276 --> 00:09:27,509
White Tiger!
142
00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:36,518
I was wondering why
no one was coming to help us.
143
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,854
S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't
mess around, do they?
144
00:09:38,856 --> 00:09:40,155
Looks like we're on our own.
145
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,192
[burps]
146
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,298
Oh, if Aunt May comes home and
sees this she'll blow her top!
147
00:09:57,506 --> 00:10:01,209
- White Tiger, hold on!
- Spidey?
148
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,421
You gotta get out of here!
149
00:10:14,524 --> 00:10:16,625
You gotta stay out of Aunt May's room.
150
00:10:16,627 --> 00:10:20,362
Relax. I've been through a few
laser matrix arrays in my day.
151
00:10:20,364 --> 00:10:21,630
This'll be a piece a cake.
152
00:10:21,632 --> 00:10:24,532
Nova, remember what
I was doing in there?
153
00:10:24,534 --> 00:10:28,003
Uh... yeah, she's right!
Uh, sorry dude. Off limits.
154
00:10:28,005 --> 00:10:30,005
Uh, secret lady stuff.
155
00:10:30,007 --> 00:10:32,173
Hey, move it! Aw, my Aunt
May's stuff is getting ruined.
156
00:10:32,175 --> 00:10:33,408
It's irreplaceable!
157
00:10:36,012 --> 00:10:38,079
No rough-housing in the house!
158
00:10:39,582 --> 00:10:42,550
The desk! Save the desk!
159
00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:46,221
The desk? It's not an antique.
It's from a garage sale.
160
00:10:50,092 --> 00:10:52,460
What's so important about the desk?
161
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:54,696
[both] Hmmm?
162
00:10:54,698 --> 00:10:55,997
[Luke] A little help here?!
163
00:10:55,999 --> 00:10:57,098
Luke!
164
00:11:04,974 --> 00:11:06,074
Are you hurt?
165
00:11:08,411 --> 00:11:11,980
[gasps] I'm fine, but
running out of air in here.
166
00:11:11,982 --> 00:11:13,515
Almost there, buddy!
167
00:11:21,691 --> 00:11:25,427
Ow! Hot! Oh! Hot! Hot!
Hot, hot, hot! Ooh, ah!
168
00:11:25,429 --> 00:11:27,896
Sorry. Impervious skin.
169
00:11:27,898 --> 00:11:30,332
I need to take my showers
super hot just to feel it.
170
00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:34,336
Impervious skin. That's why
he uses up all the hot water.
171
00:11:36,506 --> 00:11:39,274
When did S.H.I.E.L.D. have
time to install all of this?
172
00:11:41,444 --> 00:11:44,513
We preserved all the
original molding and fixtures,
173
00:11:44,515 --> 00:11:47,482
then put in new drywall,
masking an array
174
00:11:47,484 --> 00:11:51,019
of these cute flesh-peeling
sonic blasters.
175
00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:56,391
[screaming]
176
00:11:58,545 --> 00:12:01,747
Iron Fist! Take out the walls!
Smash your way out!
177
00:12:01,749 --> 00:12:05,617
[grunts]
I'm trying not to ruin your room.
178
00:12:05,619 --> 00:12:07,553
Huh?!
179
00:12:09,055 --> 00:12:10,122
[grunts]
180
00:12:13,326 --> 00:12:16,628
[gasps]
Sorry I couldn't stop it.
181
00:12:16,630 --> 00:12:19,064
A man's room is a sacred space.
182
00:12:19,066 --> 00:12:23,335
And when that man is generous enough
to let me sleep on his floor,
183
00:12:23,337 --> 00:12:26,271
It only becomes that much more sacred.
184
00:12:26,273 --> 00:12:29,174
In short, thanks for letting
me use your room, dude.
185
00:12:30,143 --> 00:12:31,877
Boy, do I feel like a...
186
00:12:31,879 --> 00:12:34,780
[braying]
187
00:12:41,588 --> 00:12:43,722
[computer voice]
Activating back-up protocols.
188
00:12:43,724 --> 00:12:46,024
Assembling secondary defense systems.
189
00:12:50,964 --> 00:12:53,699
[cell phone rings]
190
00:12:53,701 --> 00:12:54,933
Hey, M.J.
191
00:12:54,935 --> 00:12:57,135
Sam?
When is the party gonna start?
192
00:12:57,137 --> 00:12:59,071
The natives are getting restless.
193
00:12:59,073 --> 00:13:00,772
[gasps]
194
00:13:00,774 --> 00:13:04,843
Hey, M.J. We aren't quite
finished with decorations yet. Bye!
195
00:13:04,845 --> 00:13:07,830
We need to get to the attic, disable
the com center, fix the house,
196
00:13:07,831 --> 00:13:10,816
and somehow all without our friends
outside seeing who we really are!
197
00:13:14,404 --> 00:13:16,772
Lame kitchen robot at 12:00!
198
00:13:18,541 --> 00:13:20,609
[computer voice]
Intruders not identified!
199
00:13:20,611 --> 00:13:23,379
Neutralize with extreme prejudice!
200
00:13:23,381 --> 00:13:26,382
I wonder if S.H.I.E.L.D.
has a returns department.
201
00:13:31,137 --> 00:13:33,204
[computer voice]
Hostiles re-engaged.
202
00:13:33,206 --> 00:13:35,273
Neutralize and terminate.
203
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,715
Okay team! Follow my lead!
204
00:13:45,484 --> 00:13:47,152
Kiyah!
205
00:13:51,757 --> 00:13:54,926
Oh, no you don't!
Hiyah!
206
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,262
Hiyah!
207
00:13:59,532 --> 00:14:01,599
[blows]
208
00:14:11,577 --> 00:14:15,180
Is that the coldest you got?
I can't even feel it!
209
00:14:19,685 --> 00:14:20,885
Scatter!
210
00:14:28,294 --> 00:14:32,497
Hey! You've got Aunt May's
toaster! Give it back!
211
00:14:32,499 --> 00:14:35,833
[computer voice] Hostiles re-engaged.
Neutralize and terminate.
212
00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:38,269
My friends aren't crowding me.
213
00:14:38,271 --> 00:14:41,839
They're protecting me. It's all
about having an attitude of gratitude.
214
00:14:41,841 --> 00:14:44,609
Consider yourself enlightened.
215
00:14:44,611 --> 00:14:46,277
[voices] Awwww.
216
00:14:53,919 --> 00:14:56,454
We have to shut down that
thing before the house is...
217
00:14:59,491 --> 00:15:01,793
Aw, totally trashed.
218
00:15:04,797 --> 00:15:07,498
Okay, refocus.
Attic at all costs!
219
00:15:09,301 --> 00:15:10,435
Nova!
220
00:15:11,403 --> 00:15:12,837
I'll get the door!
221
00:15:15,975 --> 00:15:17,275
Go!
222
00:15:21,247 --> 00:15:22,947
A central junction box!
223
00:15:22,949 --> 00:15:24,949
If we shut that down,
it should kill-switch
224
00:15:24,951 --> 00:15:27,252
every S.H.I.E.L.D. system
in the house.
225
00:15:27,254 --> 00:15:32,290
- "Should?"
- Probably? Like 60/40.
226
00:15:34,326 --> 00:15:38,496
60/40 is better than our usual odds.
Go for the kill switch!
227
00:15:38,498 --> 00:15:41,532
Meanwhile, can someone
put this thing on ice?
228
00:15:43,035 --> 00:15:44,602
[all] Huh?
229
00:16:03,522 --> 00:16:07,425
And now my stove top?
After all we've been through?
230
00:16:11,063 --> 00:16:13,598
We've got these two!
231
00:16:14,033 --> 00:16:16,501
Hiyah!
232
00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:27,512
Eenie meenie miney...
233
00:16:27,514 --> 00:16:28,880
[groans]
234
00:16:34,086 --> 00:16:35,887
Whatever.
235
00:16:43,829 --> 00:16:47,565
[computer voice slowing]
Hostiles re-engaged. Neutralize and...
236
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:49,600
[grunts]
237
00:16:50,536 --> 00:16:51,736
Yeah!
238
00:16:53,872 --> 00:16:56,874
We did it!
And we're alive!
239
00:17:18,897 --> 00:17:21,399
Whew! Everything's okay!
240
00:17:21,401 --> 00:17:23,735
What do we do about frankenfridge?
241
00:17:37,116 --> 00:17:38,850
We're dead.
242
00:17:38,852 --> 00:17:43,521
When Aunt May sees this,
we're all gonna be evicted.
243
00:17:53,432 --> 00:17:55,533
Hey everybody, sorry for the...
244
00:17:56,935 --> 00:17:59,904
Great party, Parker... not.
245
00:17:59,906 --> 00:18:03,574
I wouldn't even show your
lame face at school, ever.
246
00:18:17,689 --> 00:18:20,124
Guys?!
247
00:18:20,126 --> 00:18:22,493
- What are we going to do?
- We're fine, but...
248
00:18:22,495 --> 00:18:23,961
[sighs]
249
00:18:25,998 --> 00:18:27,799
Can't get any worse.
250
00:18:29,001 --> 00:18:31,536
[cell phone ringing]
251
00:18:37,476 --> 00:18:39,177
Hello?
252
00:18:39,179 --> 00:18:41,846
[Aunt May] Peter! My game
ended earlier than expected
253
00:18:41,848 --> 00:18:44,148
and I was swinging by the
noodle shop. Is anyone hungry?
254
00:18:44,150 --> 00:18:46,818
- No. We're good.
- We're dead.
255
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:49,687
- Don't sweat it, Parker.
- We'll take the blame for this.
256
00:18:49,689 --> 00:18:51,689
Why is everyone being so negative?
257
00:18:51,691 --> 00:18:55,193
We're superheroes!
So what if we don't have time!
258
00:18:55,195 --> 00:18:58,496
If we work fast and use
our powers, we can rebuild
259
00:18:58,498 --> 00:18:59,897
the house better than ever!
260
00:19:08,073 --> 00:19:14,078
No. With great responsibility comes
responsibility to take ownership.
261
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,214
Thanks guys, but I'm her nephew.
262
00:19:16,216 --> 00:19:19,484
If there was a house,
she wouldn't kick me out of it.
263
00:19:19,486 --> 00:19:22,086
But, I won't risk that with you guys.
264
00:19:34,266 --> 00:19:37,502
Whoa.
Talk about a home delivery!
265
00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:52,950
You kids appear to have been busy.
266
00:19:52,952 --> 00:19:55,520
Agent Coulson?
I can explain.
267
00:19:55,522 --> 00:20:00,958
Actually I can't. I got no idea
what's going on around here.
268
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,729
You demolished your house when you set
off the S.H.I.E.L.D. safety protocols.
269
00:20:04,731 --> 00:20:06,197
We knew something
like this might happen.
270
00:20:06,199 --> 00:20:08,766
So we had this copy built
as a security measure.
271
00:20:08,768 --> 00:20:11,669
You knew we would actually
demolish our own house?
272
00:20:11,671 --> 00:20:14,805
We're S.H.I.E.L.D.
We think of everything.
273
00:20:16,542 --> 00:20:19,143
Particularly when
teenagers are involved.
274
00:20:24,216 --> 00:20:27,552
- Foundation bolted!
- Electricity live!
275
00:20:28,587 --> 00:20:30,922
Plumbing, A.O.K.
276
00:20:36,328 --> 00:20:39,830
Cable guy will be out sometime
in the next three months.
277
00:20:39,832 --> 00:20:41,899
You're welcome.
You guys ready to go?
278
00:20:41,901 --> 00:20:42,934
What's going on?
279
00:20:42,936 --> 00:20:45,603
- Didn't they tell you?
- Tell me what?
280
00:20:45,605 --> 00:20:47,872
The helicarrier is fully operational.
281
00:20:47,874 --> 00:20:51,842
Fury gave the order. Your team is
scheduled to move back to HQ today.
282
00:20:51,844 --> 00:20:56,113
We were going to tell you.
The party? It was for you.
283
00:20:56,115 --> 00:20:59,584
- You know. To say thanks.
- For taking us in.
284
00:20:59,586 --> 00:21:03,287
It's what I was trying to wrap in
Aunt May's room. Under the desk.
285
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,663
I was baking you a cake, but
it ended up inside the robot.
286
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:19,003
Don't worry, Parker. Nothing
but sugar and flour... this time.
287
00:21:19,005 --> 00:21:23,107
Wait. How about you stick
around for a "moving out" party?
288
00:21:23,109 --> 00:21:25,543
- Just the five of us?
- [Luke] I got a killer game!
289
00:21:25,695 --> 00:21:26,861
[Sam] All right! Yeah!
Let's do it!
290
00:21:26,863 --> 00:21:29,630
- [Danny] I've got the playlist!
- [Luke] Yeah! Cool! Let's do this!
291
00:21:29,632 --> 00:21:32,400
[Danny] Or maybe we
could do some group yoga!
292
00:21:32,652 --> 00:21:35,386
Well, I got my wish.
293
00:21:35,388 --> 00:21:37,154
[blows]
294
00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:42,517
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295
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:47,117
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