All language subtitles for The Grand Tour S02E07 (eng)

-Here we go.
-Hello!

Greetings, everybody!
Thank you.

-Thanks very much.
-Hello.

Hello. Hello.

-Hello, everybody.
-Hello.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Loud!
- That's a big one.

Thank you so much!

Welcome. And in this edition
of the world's most exciting
motoring show...

..a maroon Skoda...

..a silver car
of some sort...

..and an elderly German man
says, "I don't like jumps."

I-I don't like jumps.

-There's a lot.
-It's a good one. Good one.

And there's that
diarrhoea-coloured Audi
as well, isn't there?

Yeah. Yeah, there's that.

- And you kill
a Chinese person.

But we start with
Lamborghini.

They've just launched
a more hard-core,

more exciting version
of the Huracán,

and Richard Hammond
was very keen to try it out.

-I was.
-Yeah, he was.

So we put the air ambulance
on standby...

..and off he went.

Here it is.

It's called
the Huracán Performante.

And whereas the standard
Huracán costs £155,000,

this version comes in
at £208,000.

So what do you get
for the extra £50,000?

Well, to be honest, on paper,
not a lot.

You only get
29 more horsepower,

up from 602 to 631.

And 30 more torques.

Hm.

So, while the original

tops out
at 202 miles an hour,

this can do, erm, the same.

And the 0-60 time

goes down by a whopping
two tenths of a second,

from 3.1 to 2.9.

Now, admittedly,
we are starting
from a very high baseline,

and you have probably
just seen some pictures
of a car going very fast.

But... 55 grand more?

When do you start seeing
something for your money?

Fortunately,
in quite a few places.

For starters,
some proper work has gone
into making the Performante

look more dramatic
than a normal Huracán.

This car has much more of
the get-your-camera-phone-out
appeal

you expect
from a Lamborghini.

I particularly like
the material
this wing's made from.

It's actually
chopped-up carbon fibre
bonded in a resin.

So not only
does it look rather good,
it's also very light.

And because they've
used it all over the place,

they've shaved 40kg off
the weight of the car.

And you would notice that
on a mountain road.

And then we come
to the soundtrack.

Again, if we compare it to
the standard car, the Huracán
makes an OK noise.

But the Performante
comes with a new exhaust,
and that...

Oh-ho!

That is awesome, that is!

Love the sound of a V10.

Like having 10,000 wolves
at your back.

But there's more
to the Performante than
just animalistic howling.

The car is also equipped with
something called Aerodinamica
Lamborghini Attiva,

or ALA for short.

And what it claims to be
is a very clever
aerodynamic system.

Basically, you have moving
flaps in the front spoiler,

and moving air ducts
at the back that control
the airflow to the rear wing.

Now, if you want to go fast
in a straight line, you need
less downforce,

so the ducts open
so they direct more air
under the wing.

Right, so,
fast in a straight line.

That's as good an excuse
for a gratuitous drag race
as we've ever had.

Just a shame there isn't
some local motorist

out for a drive
in a Ferrari 458 Speciale,

or... something...
something that...

Oh, what a stroke of luck!

-Morning.
-Fancy seeing you here.

Yeah. To be honest,
I was just out for a drive

and I stopped to sort of,
you know,

marvel at the mystery
and wonder of God's creation.

Yeah. Well,
I don't know if you're aware,

but you happen to have
pulled up on the start line
of a drag race.

-Have I?
-Yeah.

Seeing as
our cars are so similar,

would you mind
accompanying me to
the other end of this runway

in a drag-race-type fashion?

-Yeah, all right.
-Excellent.

Good.

It's just worked out
that way today.

That's blind luck that
that man happened to be in...

in... in the logical
competitor for this car.

And we are away!

Avanti!

That aero now doing
its business to make this
thing as fast as possible...

in a straight line.

And, dear God!

-Ha!
-Oh, no!

I beat the local man
in his 458 Speciale,
by some considerable margin.

But the Lambo's clever aero
system is equally impressive

when you get
to the end of a straight
and arrive at a corner.

Oh!

As I go into a corner,
I need more downforce
to give me more grip.

So the flaps and ducts are
adjusting to do just that.

It's pressing down,
it's giving it grip.

More than that, it can
operate individual sides

so it can work individual
wheels mid-corner
to dial up the grip.

That's clever.
Very, very clever.

And let me give you some hard
evidence of just how clever.

The Porsche 918, my favourite
out-of-this-world hypercar,

went round the Nurburgring in
six minutes and 57 seconds.

This thing,
five seconds quicker.

As a driving machine,
the Performante
is one hell of an experience.

But there's
even more to it than that.

What Lamborghini
have done with this
is hit a real sweet spot.

It can corner like a race car

and shatter trees
with its engine noise,

but it hasn't been turned
into some hard-core
track-day abomination.

I've got air-con and Apple
connecty stuff in here.

In the comfort sense,
it's very much like driving
a standard Huracán.

And that last point is why
this car is so special.

A lifetime ago, on a car show
in a galaxy far, far away,

I reviewed the original
Huracán and was left
feeling a bit sad

because it lacked that drama,
that thrill-delivery system

that a Lamborghini
should have and be.

Well, finally it's here.
The whole package
is complete.

This is what the Huracán
should have been
from the start.

It's brilliant.

That was
a really... amazing thing.

I don't see how Ferrari
always lose a race...

when it's some punter's
car, and when they provide
the car, they win.

Amazing, isn't it?

I actually, erm...

I drove a Performante
the other day,

and I pulled out
to overtake a Peugeot,

put my foot down,
and the noise was so enormous

I genuinely believed the
engine had actually exploded.

- I've never heard
a sound like it.

It is pretty loud.

But it's not pretty loud,
it's incredibly loud.

It can't possibly pass any,
you know, regulations.

-It doesn't need to be,
it's Italian.
-It is Italian, that's true.

It's also...
It's also fantastic.

I think I'm right in...
No, I know I'm right
in saying

it's currently my favourite
supercar of the moment.

Oh, it's definitely mine.
Supercar.

Absolutely adorable,
it really is.

Anyway, we must now find
how fast it goes round
the Eboladrome.

Come on, let's have it!

And she's off!

A searing start,
and a ferocious howl

as the Huracán powers
onto the Isn't Straight.

Grabbing at the gears to keep
that amazing V10 on song.

And carrying some serious
speed through there.

No let-up as she drives down
towards Your Name Here.

Despite being
the hard-core model,

the Performante
is still four-wheel-drive
like the standard Huracán.

And that clearly translates
into serious mechanical grip.

Now, unleashing all
631 horsepower for the blast
back down the Isn't.

You really can't beat
a normally-aspirated engine
for sheer visceral wailing.

It's superb.

Old Lady's House.

Grip, and that
active aero trickery
staving off understeer.

On the bumpy run down
to Substation.

Is it going to be OK
through there?

Yep, absolutely
no problem working
the carbon-ceramic brakes.

Flies round Field of Sheep
and across the line!

-That looked good.
That looked fast.
-It looks quick.

-Is it, though?
-Yeah, that's it.

-That was properly...
darting.
-It looked it.

Anyway,

we must now find out

how far up the board

the Huracán goes.

Oh, hello.
Oh, hang on. Oh-ho!

Bloody hell.

One sixteen-eight - that's
the fastest road-legal car
we've ever had round there.

-It's not road-legal.
-It's Italian.

-Same thing.
-Everything in Italian's
road-legal.

Anyway, it is now time
for us to plant
some daffodils of opinion

on the roundabout of chat
at the end of
Conversation Street.

Sorry.

So sorry.

That's the best thing
that's going to come
out of your mouth

for the next seven minutes.

Ouch!

So erm, conversation,
sticking with supercars.

Many new ones
have arrived recently,
and we have one here.

If you have a look,
that is the Devel Sixteen.

Now, that's a 12.3-litre
V16 quad-turbo engine.

It's two Chevy engines
glued together.

And it has a top speed,
according to the makers,
of 320 miles an hour.

Really?

-Three hundred and--
-That's what they say.

You can test that one,
Hammond.

-Three hundred and twenty?
-That's what they say.

Anyway, if you don't fancy
the Devel Sixteen,

you could try the
Ikeya Formula IF-02RDS,

the Apollo Intensa Emozione,

the er, Dallara Stradale,

the er, Aspark Owl.

What? The what? Owl?

-The Aspark Owl, yes.
-You can't call a car an Owl.

The Vencer Sarthe,

the Arrinera Hussarya,

the Mazzanti
Evantra Millecavalli,

and the Hennessey Venom.

No, I'm sorry, this is just
ridiculous. Seriously,
they're all new supercars?

-They're all new supercars.
-That's absurd!

-And then, from America...
-Oh, God!

..there's the Glickenhaus
SCG 004S.

And from Denmark,
the Zenvo TS1 GT.

Right, we've got the idea.
Every single person in the
world has suddenly decided,

"You know, I can make
a supercar myself."

Yeah, it looks that way.
Yeah.

The problem I've got
with all of this is

it's not like we're
spoiled for choice already.

I mean, you've got Ferrari,
Lamborghini,

you've got Bugatti,
McLaren, Ford, even Audi.

Yeah, but what if you want
a supercar with no heritage

that's built
in someone's shed?

If that's
what you really want.

- And that you can't
get serviced anywhere.
Exactly.

Did any car there
appeal to anyone here?

You'd all rather have
a Lamborghini Performante
than anything there?

So that's total failure
for all those people.

What you've just
looked at there
is 27 future bankruptcies.

Now, we have always
argued that women,
whatever they say,

are impressed when a man
performs a perfectly executed
handbrake turn.

Oh, it's absolutely true.

We've all been watching
Sir Attenborough's fish
programme, haven't we, yeah?

Yeah, Blue Planet .
Unbelievable, OK?

Now, the thing is, every
single week you see, OK,

man fish comes along
with his lady fish there.

Man fish can make his face
swell up - it's huge -
like a satellite dish.

Lady fish: "I'm not bothered.
I'm not bothered."

- But she is. She is.
- Yeah.

And then she's going,
"I like his huge face,"

and then they do sex,
or whatever it is fish do,
and then they have babies.

Now, that massive face
that a fish can do,

that's basically the same
as the handbrake turn.

- All those birds
that dance about.

We've got the handbrake,
birds can dance about.

-It's all part of nature's
dance of love.
-Exactly.

But the problem has been, of
course, most modern cars now
have electronic handbrakes.

You can't do a handbrake turn
with one of those.

That's why Tinder's
become so big.

Yeah, you have to...

You have to swipe right
because you can't
slide left any more.

-That's what's going on.
-Well, so that's been
the problem.

With electronic handbrakes
we can't conduct
this mating ritual.

Ford have noticed this,
given it some thought, and
they've come up with this.

It's an after-market part
that you fit to your car.

They call it the drift stick.

-Oh, they ought to call it
the love handle.
-Yeah.

But the point is, what it
does, it overrides the ABS,

and you can actually
perform proper
handbrake turns in that.

Girls are going to say,
if you pull that,

"That was ridiculous
and you frightened me."

-What they actually
mean is, "I'm hot."
-Yeah.

Come on. Yeah, admit it.

-You're impressed by
a handbrake turn, aren't you?
-Just the thought of it.

If you say no,
that's just part of it.

I've never been
in a car with...

You've never been in a car
with someone who's done
a handbrake turn?

Oh, hello!

Ooh!

Are you together?

What are you doing,
man? What's wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?
How do you...?

You drove here today,
huge fields everywhere.

You didn't think,
"I'll give it some of that"?

Get out there
and impress her.

On the way out...
Just mind the sheep.

Right, listen.
Bentley has announced

a new version
of their big four-by-four,
the Bentayga, OK?

Er... Which they say
is for shooting enthusiasts.

We've got a picture here,
look. It's got this
kind of chest in the back

which has, you know,
space for your guns
and refreshments, and so on.

However, I know that whoever
designed that has never been
shooting in their lives.

How do you know?

Well, because if we examine
the refreshments that have
been photographed here,

you will find that they
have fitted it with...

rose lemonade
and elderflower juice.

Now, I'm sorry to say...

No, I'm sorry to have to say
this, but has anyone here
been shooting ever?

Yeah, you have?

As you will know, a shooting
day is an armed drinks party.

- There's no place
for shit like that.

You turn up with elderflower
juice at a shoot
and the host will shoot you.

- What?
- Middle East market.

-Middle Eastern market?
-Oh, she might have
a point with that.

Could be.

Don't come here with
your bloody sensible,
rational views.

No, actually it's funny
you should mention
the Middle Eastern market,

because they've also done one
for fly-fishing,
which happens in the Yemen.

Yeah.

It does.

And it gets better.

And falconry.

And falconry's really big
in the Middle East.

What about dogging?

-What about dogging?
-Well, why don't they do one
for dogging?

It's a countryside pursuit,
and more people do that
than do falconry, don't they?

-Well, yeah, you're prob...
probably right.
-Yeah.

- From what I've heard.
- Well, they should.

- But what would you have
in a dogging Bentayga, then?

Well, you'd open the drawers
and there'd be like--

- Wet wipes.
- Wet wipes!

Wet wipes. Good one.

Straight away.
Yeah, wet wipes.
Good one.

- Condoms.
- Yeah.

Condoms. Maybe like a camera
and a whip, or something.

No, on the... I reckon, on
the basis of Bentley thinking
that's a shooting, er, chest,

that a Bentley
dogging Bentayga,

they would literally have
a blanket, a bowl and a lead.

Now, two US Navy aircrew
people have been in trouble,

er... for using
the vapour trail from
the back of their fighter jet

to paint pictures in the sky.

We've got a shot
of their work here.

- Erm...
- Oh, it's...

That's good work. It's
very neat. It's neatly done.

It is neatly done. Now...

Vice Admiral Mike Shoemaker -
obviously from the US Navy -
he's not happy about this.

He says, "Immature acts
of a sexual nature have
no place in naval aviation."

Well, I'm sorry,
but the plane they were
flying when they did that

is called the F-18 Growler.

If the US Navy is going
to call its plane a Growler,

they can't really complain

when the pilots go and make

pictures like that
in the sky, can they?

No. And to be clear, if
you're American and you don't
know why we're laughing,

it's the same as, erm,
US troops in Iraq laughed

when British soldiers
were being transported around

in what we call
a Snatch Land Rover.

It's the same joke.

"Hey, you're in a Snatch!"

"Yeah, and you're flying
around in a Growler,
so shut up."

Anyway, if those
two US aircrew
do get fired and are bored,

you are more than welcome
to come on this show anytime.
We'd love to see you.

Yes, you are.
We like immature acts
of a sexual nature.

We do, yeah. Yeah.

And that's it
for Conversation Street
this week.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Now, there are many
unpleasant aspects
to modern motoring,

such as Peugeots,
speed cameras,
drive-by shootings.

But by far the worst of them,
we think, is having to stop
to fill up with fuel.

No, it is.
It is the worst thing.

It's particularly annoying
if the person at the pump
in front of you fills

and then goes inside
to do a weekly shop
for a family of seven.

Yes. Now, we did some
scientific research on this,

and we discovered
that the average motorist

spends 36 days of their life
filling up with fuel.

And that got us thinking.

What if you didn't have
to stop for petrol at all?

In order
to crack this problem,
we've come here...

..to the Grand Tour special
high-intensity test track.

And it's here
that we've come up
with our ingenious solution

to ending the misery
of fuel stop fill-ups.

Allow me.

Yes, welcome, everybody,

to the world's first
vehicle-to-vehicle
refuelling vehicle.

To create
this incredible machine,

we've taken our inspiration
from the world
of air-to-air refuelling.

And it will, quite simply,
make petrol stations
obsolete.

Now, the driver
sits up here as normal,

but this is where
the fuel pump attendant -

which in this case is me -
sits with all the controls,

everything you need,
for a spot
of car-to-car refuelling.

Absolutely. And we are so
pleased with our creation

that we are going to let
the machine itself
do the talking

with a real-world,
world-first, first ever...

-Yeah, we got that.
-...inaugural demonstration.

OK, so, here I am
on the motorway.

Oh, no. I need petrol.

And I make contact with
James's refuelling vehicle,

probably via an app
or something.

There's always an app.
We'll get a kid to do that.

And there he is now.

Here comes my first customer
now, down the motorway.

I'm going to know it's him
who needs my services.

There'll be an app
or something for that.

I've got a range of fuels:
unleaded, super unleaded,
diesel.

Here we go.

Bringing down
the fuel-o-meter arm.

Now, this tells
Richard Hammond how much
fuel he's taking on board

and how much it's costing,
and just as importantly
it gives him a marker

where to pull up
in relation to the van.

It's all been
carefully calculated
using science... and stuff.

Pivoting. Pivoting.

Coming in
to open filler flap.

Already the heady fumes
of success are filling
my nostrils.

Think about it. You're on
your way to that meeting.

You're not stuck in a petrol
station queue - oh, no -
because you are a winner.

You are going to make
that meeting.

This is the key
to your success.

What?

Sorry! Think of it
as a business opportunity.

-Car-to-car
window replacement.
-Oh, brilliant!

Hold steady.
Finger extending again.

I've got it.

Oh! Cocking Nora.

Yeah, we're... nearly there.

Having successfully
opened the filler flap,

it was time for phase two:
unscrewing the fuel cap.

Passengers would love this.

Think of the kids.
I mean, they would
love watching this.

Fuel cap is removed.

Extending fuel nozzle.

I'll be as steady as I can.

Back a little bit.

Yeah, there it is!

We are pumping!

Yeah, we are pumping gas!
Oh, yeah!

It works!

Oh, shit!

What's happened?

Hammond, right,
you're on fire!

-Bail out!
-Oh, no.

James, you bloody idiot!

Clearly, this system
had a couple of issues.

So we reconvened a few days
later with a new solution.

OK, second time lucky.

We think the problem with
the car-to-car refueller

was there was a bit too much
tech, too much to go wrong.

So we've scaled back
on that front.

And there's James now.

Red light, on.

Activating door release.

Now, what we're using here
is Chinese acrobats
from the circus.

Circuses get a lot
of downtime, so that's
a win-win all around.

They are going to refuel
Hammond's car.

Watch this. Green light.

He's on.

I'm not stopped.
I just carry on.

Look at that. It's like being
refuelled by Spider-Man.

The genius of this is we've
made the petrol pump
attendant mobile,

rather than
the petrol pump itself.

It's much cheaper,
it's safer.

Right, that chap's pretty
much exhausted his supply.

Time to send the second man.

- OK, Hammond, pull up for acrobat number two, please.
- -Right-o.

Oh...

Clearly,
there were also some
flaws in this method.

So we went back
to the drawing board,
and a few days later...

OK, we have had
a total grass-roots rethink.

And, well, fingers crossed
for third time lucky.

Check this out, viewers!

What this is is one of those
specialist airport vehicles

that normally goes around
doing, you know,
airporty-type stuff.

But it also, as you can see,
makes a perfect platform
for a mobile fuel station.

This really is genius.
This time.

Here we go.

Oh, yeah. Ramp's going down.

Ready to commence docking.

Right. I've never done this.
I don't know if it's going
to work. I'm hoping it does.

I'm on!
I haven't been killed!

There you go. You see,
no exploding acrobats,

no cars having to keep
perfect station or anything.

Hammond
can refuel at leisure.

He can even have
a cup of coffee.

So, that's it.
My car is refuelled and I
haven't stopped my journey.

I'm still on my way.

Thank you
for using Fuel Port.

Please continue
to enjoy your journey.

Ready for disembarkation.
Now, this is a bit tricky.

This is precision stuff.

Oh, God.

It's a good job Hammond's
not the sort of person
who has accidents.

OK, here I go.

And we're off!

It only works!

Yes!

We did something,
and we did it well!

Motorists of the world,
you may have your lives back.

Very, very impressed.

Yep, saved the world.

Oh, yeah.

-Credit where it's due.
-It worked.

And I have to say,
what staggers me

is that
even without me helping -

because I was in hospital
at the time -

you managed to get
something that worked.

No, it worked because
you were in hospital.

It's connected,
yeah.
- Whatever.

You've gifted everybody here
another 36 days of life,

and not even the Baby Jesus
could manage that.

So well done, you.

But we did
kill a Chinese man. Sorry.

Yes, and I think we should
take a moment now
to remember his sacrifice.

-Hammond, if you killed a
man, you can't be impatient.
-I'm sorry! I-I did it.

-We'll gloss over it.
-It was a short sacrifice,
wasn't it?

Anyway, listen, it's time now
for Celebrity Face Off!

Once again,
we are asking a big question.

And it's this:

who is the fastest person
in the world

who earns a living
from punching
and strangling other men?

To help us find out,

please welcome Anthony Joshua
and Bill Goldberg!

Bloody hell.

They're getting nearer!

-How the hell are you?
-I'm well. You?

-Very well. How are you?
-How are you, sir?

I'm very well. Do...

It's the land of the giants!

- Ah, look at that!
You can feel
the oestrogen, can't you?

This...
It's like Loose Women .

What?

And for the first time
in my life I actually
feel like a midget.

Yeah.

No, I mean, this guy, he's...
Well, you're... But he's...

-Massive. He's a unit.
-How tall are you?

-"A unit"! Thank you.
-He's a unit.

Yeah, he is,
but you're, what, six...

Six-six.

Yeah, I think that's
just ridiculous, personally.
Erm...

See, I've been hit
in the head with chairs
too many times.

I used to be 6'6".
I'm only 6'3" now.

The make-up girl was saying
she's never seen a head
with more scars on it.

- I'll take that
as a compliment.

I'm slightly out of my
comfort zone here, chaps,

because boxing
and wrestling are not...

I'm not really an expert
in either,

so I hope you can guide me
through some of the things.

- Er... You're obviously
the boxist. We do know that.

One thing that really
interests me is you get hit,
obviously.

-Yeah, yeah.
-How much does it hurt?

Do you know what it is, what
I've learned? I was thinking
about this the other day.

It's like, you know, as an
athlete you can look amazing,

be in the best shape,
you can be the tallest,
the strongest.

But it's when you start
getting hit you question, "Do
I really want to do this?"

You've fought on with
a broken nose, though,
haven't you?

Yeah, my last fight.
My last fight, strong guy.

Erm... But it wasn't planned.
It's never happened before.

-You know?
-Well, I do.

-Not what he does!
-Yeah.

- "Can you break my nose
in the second round?"

I thought the ref was going
to give me five minutes to
get myself together, but no.

"You all right?" "Yeah."
"Carry on." And that was it.

And if I don't carry on, then
I lose my titles and so on.

You went on and won the fight
with a broken nose? Yeah.

-Just say yes.
-Yes, I won. I battered him.

Now, Bill...

We had wrestling here - and
anyone in the audience who's
my age will remember it -

and it was largely a sort of
fat woman called Shirley

would sit on another man's
face, and the old women would
jump up and down and shout.

Hasn't changed a bit.

Is it pre-planned?

- It's predetermined.
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Well, I said that on. Hey...

Hey, I said that on...

I said that on Leno
20 years ago.

OK, OK.

But, you know, I like to tell
people it's predetermined,
OK.

You know who's going to win,
who's going to lose, how long
the match is supposed to be.

But when I wrestled
The Giant, the Big Show...

-Wow.
-...he weighed 525lb.

And when I picked him
upside down,

it didn't mean,
since it was predetermined,
that he was any lighter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It didn't mean when he
picked me up and threw me
through the ground

that it was going
to be softer.

You know? You know
it's going to happen, but it
doesn't decrease the pain.

So you can strangle people,
can't you?

-You can do anything
you like in wrestling.
-Yeah, that's the best part.

I can actually do that
in public, too,
and get away with it.

- Now I'm like...
- Not with you. You're my...

You can only hit and bite.

No, I can't bite.
Because Tyson bit,
I can't bite.

Tyson bit.
He was a bitey person.
The Luis Suárez.

He was an exception -
in a league of his own,
Mike Tyson.

- He was an animal.
- He was an animal.

Now, one of the things
that fascinates me about both
your disciplines of fighting

is the amount you eat -
the calories you have
to bung in every day.

When I got
the phone call last year

to go back to wrestling for
the first time in 12 years,

I had to cover
a lot of ground very quickly.

So I had to eat
as much as humanly possible,

um, and I had to train as
much as humanly possible.

I'd eat 15,000-20,000
calories a day and I'd train
three times a day.

-Fifteen? I mean, that...
-Seriously, that's a lot.

-Do you eat that much?
-I can't compete with that.
That's amazing.

-That's dedication in itself.
-We got a request from
the girls in the office

for photographs of you
without clothes on,
basically - there.

I eat a lot,
but I don't look like that.

I was explaining to the girls
in the office, though,

that you've both got penises
like button mushrooms, so...

How'd he know?

I just... Really.

Can we talk about cars?
This being a car show.

-Yes.
-Please.

Now you both started
with General Motors.

You - I think we've got
a picture of it - with
a Pontiac Trans Am.

Is that
what you started with?
- That's what he started with.

And you started with
a General Motors car,
which was a Vauxhall Astra.

-Nice!
-Do you like it?

It's almost like
if somebody said,

"What's the difference, then,
between America and Britain?
You speak the same language."

- Well, there it is:
the Astra and the Trans Am.
There it is.

Er... And you both
modified cars.

-To a certain degree.
-To a certain degree.

To an extreme degree.

One of yours,
you put an 800-horsepower
NASCAR motor in.

Anthony, you modified
your Astra because you put
a DVD player in it.

- Which is slightly different.
- Yeah!

- I told you.
- And then after that--

All I can say is
if he beats me on the lap
I'm killing myself

by jumping through
that window.

Yeah.

After that, you really
haven't got anything in
common with cars at all.

I mean, it's just...
It's extraordinary.
It really is.

Have either of you
ever crashed?

-Have you crashed?
-Oh, yes, absolutely.

-A few times?
-Maybe, yeah.

What's your best crash?

There is an old story about -
since we drove
a Jaguar today...

Erm... My brother
is a car collector,

and he had a XK-E
that I just absolutely loved,

but he wouldn't let me drive
the XK-E a lot.

And... back in '85 when
Fort Lauderdale, Florida,

was the place to go
for spring break,

he leaves one night and says,
"Whatever you do, don't take
the Jag to Fort Lauderdale."

Well... what do you think
I did, ladies and gentlemen?

Fast forward a little bit,
we're looking
for a parking space,

and the buddy in the backseat
proceeds to open the door

to jump out
and find a parking space,

and simultaneously
a motorcyclist came by

and flipped over the door and
bent it backwards, and so...

That serves them right
for being on a motorcycle.

So, have you
ever crashed one?

It's not as crazy as that.
Just me and my cousin.

You know, I went and got
my little DVD player
from Wembley Market,

if anyone knows there,
you know?

A little £50 DVD player,
but it was...
it was life to me.

So we bought the CDs
that you just...

You can watch
your little hip-hop
music videos and stuff.

So, we're cruising.

And, mysteriously,
someone placed a car in front
of me at a traffic light.

So er...

How did that happen?

I've looked down
for a split second.

Yeah.

Bang! Straight into the back.

Yeah, but the DVD player
on the insurance form
wasn't on, was it?

-It wasn't on. That was fine.
-No, it definitely wasn't on.

But we lived
to tell the story.

Now, I'm afraid,
we're going to park you,
Anthony, just for a second,

because your collection
of cars now, Bill,
is simply unbelievable.

-I mean, I've got the list.
-Let me see.

We're not talking about...
You know, we're not talking
about Mini Metros here.

I mean, we start back in '46
with a Willys Jeep,

the Chevy Biscayne,
the Ford Thunderbird,

Dodge 330, the Cobra Replica,

Mercury truck, Plymouth GTX,
Plymouth GTX Convertible,

Dodge Hemi Charger,
Chevy Blazer, GTO,

Pontiac Trans Am
Pro Touring racing car,

Dodge Ram, Cadillac Escalade,

F250, Dodge Challenger
Hellcat, Charger Hellcat.

Why haven't you got
any European cars,
which are vastly superior?

-I do. There's
a Porsche 911 Turbo.
-Yes, there is, you're right.

'92 Turbo. I've had
a couple of Ferraris.

So you've got
a Volkswagen Beetle
and no other European cars?

Bill, I think you're just
being racist, frankly, with
your choice of cars here,

because
this is just so American.

Right, we're going
to talk about your laps.

-How was it out there?
-It's not easy.
It was fun, though.

You say it's not easy. Would
anyone like to see a clip of
Anthony finding it not easy?

Yes.

OK, this is the last corner.
It's a 90-right, OK?

-And here comes Anthony...
-Oh, great.
-...not making it look easy.

That is a wide line
through there, Anthony.

So you saw what I did and
tried to copy me, right? Ah!

- Well, it's funny
you should say that.

Because you know they say
everything is bigger and more
impressive

when it's American
than if it's British?

-Would you like--
-Play the clip!

Exactly.

That is some
serious speed.

Oh, no!

Yes!

That is, erm...

- If you're going to screw up,
screw up big time.

It's interesting that
both of you went off on that.

Nobody's had trouble with
that corner before.

-Nobody's had trouble?
I don't believe you.
-No. Then both of you.

It's that, "I'm going to..."

Yeah, it was the last corner
to make up time
for all our screw-ups.

I'm trying to work out whose
lap we're going to see first.
Let's start off with...

- Let's see Bill's. Let's have
a look at Bill's lap.
Eurgh!

Anthony Joshua,
you're next, mother-.

And there he goes!
He is underway.

Looking good. Oh,
cutting the corner nicely.

Now, you should slow
through here a little bit.

First time I've ever
been on the right-hand side.
The correct side.

And now, as we go onto
the gravel, starts to get
very loose here.

First time I've ever
been on the gravel, also.
Yeah. Yeah.

That's actually
very tightly done.

I drive like a
old lady around here.

Oh, actually,
that is not particularly
quick through there.

I was told you were
very fast on the Tarmac,

but not brilliantly quick
on the gravel.

- Well, I could have
told you that!

Now it gets
really slippery when you
rejoin the Tarmac.

That is an amazing line
through there.

- It's actually probably
quite sensible.
Amazingly good or bad?

No, that's a good
idea, because you get more
speed into that corner.

Now we're on the straight.

Let's see if I've got
some balls and stay in this.

Oh, that's quick.
Are we quick...

That does look flat
through there.

And now coming up
to the tricky last corner.
Well, tricky for you two.

And... Yeah, there he is. And
across the line, everybody!

They were nice moves.

Nice moves.

- Who'd like to see
Anthony's lap?

Let's have a look.

Was there any
ice out there?
Like that sound.

Come on! Give me some power.

They've all
been dry pretty much so far.
You see, that's--

It looks nice
and smooth round there.
With you driving.

You're going fast
round there.

Right, now, we're about
to head onto the gravel.

Now, you see, you pick up
speed here all of a sudden,

for no reason
that anyone can understand.

Exuberant through there.

Oh! No, don't do this! Yes!

You look like
you're enjoying yourself.
That's what matters!

Yeah,
and he's enjoying himself
through there as well.

Kicking the tail out
to go into Difficult Bit Two.

And again! God,
this is impressive stuff.

Car's looking very tidy,
got to be honest.

And now...

Yep.

Tighter line. No,
a tighter line through there.

Now on the left, and then
we're back on the straight.

And it's supposed
to be flat all the way
to the last corner.

Now let's go!

Looking quick.
Looking very... Oh, my God!

That was leaning on it.
That was leaning on it there.

And now we're coming up
to the last corner.

Yes. And there we are,
everyone. He's made it, too.

That's brilliant.

Right, I have the times.

Act like you don't care.

-I'm in anticipation.
-Bill Goldberg...

One...

..twenty...

..point-four.

So that's... Yeah.
No, that's worthy
of a round of applause.

- It's not the fastest
we've ever seen.
One minute, 20.4?

One minute, 20.4.

Good. Good time.
That's a good time.

Good thing about you two
is you're not competitive.

Anthony Joshua: One...

..eighteen-point-seven.

Good time, yeah!

Congratulations.
Congratulations.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Bill Goldberg and -
I better read this out -

the world's fastest person
who makes a living

by punching or strangling
other men, Anthony Joshua!

- Way to go, man!
- Thank you.

Way to go.

Right, now,
over the years there have
been many titanic battles

in the world of motorsport -
many great duels.

You've had Hunt versus Lauda,

you've had Prost
versus Senna,

you've had the Ford GT40
versus the Ferraris
at Le Mans.

But my favourite battle
of them all is this one.

Back in 1977...

Audi was developing
this four-wheel-drive vehicle
for the German military,

when they had
a bit of a thought.

They wondered if its
four-wheel-drive system

could be made to work
in an ordinary family car.

And so, under the cover
of darkness at a quarry in
a remote corner of Germany,

they began secret tests.

And straight away
it was obvious that with
all four wheels being driven,

the family car had an
enormous amount of grip.

This meant it could go around
corners on loose surfaces
like that much faster.

And that, they reckoned,

would make it
good at rallying.

But there was a problem.

What I've got here is the
1979 Motor Racing Rule Book.

It's the most boring book
in the world, but whatever.

Here on page eight million,

article two says
that in rallying

"Four-wheel-drive cars...
will not be admitted."

Audi, however,
had thought about that,

and dispatched a man to Paris
to a meeting
of the sport's governing body

to try and get the rule
changed.

He was very clever,

because he waited for
the meeting to be finished -

everyone pulling on
their hats and coats -

and then he went, "Oh, God.
Sorry, one more thing. Erm...

This rule about, erm,
four-wheel-drive being banned
in rallying,

is it OK if we, er...
we get rid of that?"

And everyone said, "Well,
obviously he wants to enter

his silly little army lorry
in something or other,"

so they all went, "Yes, yes.
Whatever," and went home.

Three years later,
this is what happened.

The four-wheel-drive Quattro
is all-conquering,

and the Audi has been proved
master of all conditions.

Superior power and traction

with the turbo-charged,
four-wheel-drive Audi
is too much.

Bjorn Waldegard
has wasted no time

in proving the dominance of
the four-wheel-drive Quattro.

Hannu Mikkola has scored
a tremendous victory.

The Quattros
hold all the aces:
first, second and third.

Audi won the World
Championship in 1982
with this very car, actually.

And from that moment on,

everyone knew that to win
in rallying you had to have
four-wheel-drive.

Well, when I say everyone...

This was Lancia's answer
to the Quattro:

the two-wheel-drive 037.

I've got a bit of a soft spot
for all old Lancias,

but in this... it's not soft.

This is everything
I was expecting it to be.

Pops, bangs, lumpy petrol.

A dashboard dominated
by this enormous
and very well used ashtray.

Completely Italian.

Honestly, it is dainty
as a dandelion seed
caught in a summer breeze...

..and as agile
as a water boatman.
I mean, that was...

That was just
glorious through there.

Glorious!

It feels highly strung.
Feels like a thoroughbred.

It's fast as well.

Oh, wow!
What a thing this is.

On a dry track, then,
or in a beauty contest,

the 037 would thrash the
Quattro any day of the week.

But in the rough-and-tumble,

crash-bang-wallop world
of rallying, not a chance.

What's more, Audi was
backed by the industrial
might of Volkswagen.

It was efficient
and organised.

This was the team boss,
Roland Gumpert.

Look at him!
A hands-on, bearded German
doctor of engineering.

Lancia's team boss,
meanwhile, well,
he was a bit different.

His name was Cesare Fiorio,

and he liked girls
and power-boat racing.

Also, he was running
a team staffed by Italians,

on a shoestring.

And then there were
the drivers.

Audi had Hannu Mikkola,
and Stig Blomqvist,
and Michèle Mouton...

..who had won 21 rallies
between them.

Quattro was the car
on everybody's lips,

you know, in rally business.

And, of course,
we were developing the car
all the time.

It was getting better
and better.

We were well funded,
you know?

And er, that time
it was a big team.

Lancia, meanwhile,
had Markku Alén
and Walter Rohrl,

who was brilliant,
but said he didn't want
to compete in every event,

and didn't want to be
world champion.

I told them, "Listen,
I want to win Monte Carlo."

I like Corsica,
I like Acropolis,

I like New Zealand,
I like er, San Remo.

I only do these five or six
beautiful rallies,
and nothing more.

I am not interested
to win any more
the World Championship title.

I want to be a normal man,
not something special.

And if we are always
in the newspaper
and everywhere,

of course you're never...
you're never alone,

because people standing
in front of your house,
and... and I don't like.

So, Audi had
four-wheel-drive,
a proven car,

a team staffed by Germans,
a hands-on boss,

and a squad
of world-class drivers
who were motivated and on it.

Lancia, meanwhile,
had a budget of £3.75,

two-wheel-drive,
a power-boating playboy
at their helm,

and a part-time driver
who didn't want to be
world champion.

However, Lancia did have

one ace up its sleeve.

They'd been
in rallying for ages.

They'd won the championship
four times,

with cars like the Fulvia

and then the Stratos.

So although their
power-boating team boss

looked like a playboy,

he knew all the tricks.

For example, the rules said
that before you could enter
a car in a rally,

you had to build
at least 400 examples

which could be sold
as road cars to customers.

Now, obviously, when
officials from the sport's
governing body turn up

to check you've done that,
they are going to notice
if you've only made 200.

So you say, "Yes, mm.

But, you see,
this car park was full,

so the other 200
are in a car park
on the other side of town."

And then you say, "Let's go
and count those now,

and on the way,
why don't we stop off
for a spot of lunch?"

You then make sure the lunch
goes on for a very long time.

You have a starter,
a main course...

So I turned it
into candles for three days,
got it into port.

..pudding, cheese...

Well, when I say "reverse,"
careered backwards.

..mints, more cheese...

Shame to waste the bottle.

And then, afterwards, you
take them to another car park

which contains, miraculously,
the other 200 cars.

Then you had
the cars themselves.

The rules say they must
be fitted with roll cages.

But roll cages are heavy,
they'll slow you down.

So why not use something
like this instead?
It looks like a roll cage.

It would pass
a visual inspection
every day of the week.

But, actually, it's made...
from cardboard. Look.

I'm not saying
Lancia actually did that.

But if you examine
these crashed 037s,

you can see they weren't
exactly... strong.

My family and my friends
around me said, "Listen.

Why are you signed
for Lancia? This car
is so dangerous.

If you see these thin tubes
and these plastic things,

if you... if you went off,
then it's maybe the last
accident you have."

And I answer,
"Listen, I am not planning
to have an accident."

However,
despite Lancia's experience
and Cesare's cunning,

no-one expected them
to do well in the first round
of the 1983 Championship,

which was held
in the freezing mountains
above Monte Carlo.

We were very much afraid
about this rally, because
you can find a lot of snow,

ice, er, slippery conditions,

where,
of course, a mid-engine car
with rear-wheel traction

is not the... the best idea.

So,
whilst Audi prepared for the
event by fettling its cars,

Lancia got ready by going
to the supermarket.

Here they bought
all the salt they could
lay their hands on.

They then sprinkled this
on the difficult corners

so that by the time their car
came along the ice was gone.

And they weren't
finished there.

We have been also pushing
local authorities, taking
care of the French roads.

Say, "Oh, there's a lot
of ice on that road.

It's very dangerous for
spectators and for the
drivers with all this ice."

"Oh, oh, oh, yes."

And so they went and they...

and they cleaned up
the... the roads,
and that was fantastic.

They also had another
trick up their sleeve.

After the icy stages were
over, the Lancia stopped
in the middle of the stage,

so the winter tyres
could be changed.

Now, there was nothing
in the rules that said
you could do this.

But critically...
there was nothing
that said you couldn't.

If you want to compete in
motorsport, you must know
the rules you have to face.

The grey zones of the rules.

And it's always a big fight,
but er... you must try
to be a bit clever.

The result
in Monte Carlo, then,

was the exact opposite
of what everyone
had been expecting.

Four-wheel-drive
and 340 turbo-charged
horsepower

are just not enough.

It's Audi sadness,
Lancia joy.

The two-wheel-drive
Lancias, on a rally famed
for its slippery conditions,

finished first and second.

For the next event
of the year, in Sweden,

there wasn't enough salt
in the world

to get rid of all
the snow and ice.

So Lancia
solved the problem...

..by simply
not turning up at all.

Audi therefore scored
a one-two here.

And three weeks later
they did the same thing again
in Portugal.

And after more successes
in East Africa,

it looked like Audi
were running away with it.

But then the whole circus
moved to Corsica,

where almost all
of the stages are held
on dry, smooth Tarmac.

Everyone expected the nimble
two-wheel-drive Lancias

to pick up
a load of points here.

But nobody could have
predicted how many
they were going to pick up.

Usually, Lancia
turned up at an event
with two or three cars,

but here
they arrived with four.

Which meant that
if they ran faultlessly,
which they did,

the best Audi
could hope for was fifth.

And thanks
to mechanical failures...

they didn't even get that.

With our speed,
it's just like holiday.

So, Lancia, with its salt
and its tyre-changing antics,

and its... flexible approach
to how many cars
were in the team,

was back on top
of the leader board.

But then the whole circus
moved to the roughest

and toughest event
on the European calendar.

Greece.

Here, everyone knew
the rough roads would
cause mechanical issues.

There would be breakdowns,
and there were.

But amazingly,
they were all Audis.

For Lancia,
it's an impressive victory.

Rohrl has again
driven superbly.

And I won Acropolis
in a... in a Lancia.

Er... It was a result
I never expected,

that we even
can come to the finish,

because I was thinking,
"Maybe the Lancia
is too light

to stay in one piece for...
for Greece."

The year wore on
with both teams

always in contention
for the championship.

But then it was time for
everyone to head for
the bumpy hell of Finland,

and Lancia had a problem:

Walter Rohrl refused to go.

I didn't like
to go to Finland,

because I...
I don't like jumps.

Because, you know, if I want
to fly, I would be a pilot.

But not sitting in a car.
That's no way.

Because of his
no-show, Audi won, easily.

However, with only three
rounds left, it was
mathematically possible

for Lancia to win the World
Championship in San Remo.

And that's something
they really wanted to do,

because San Remo...
well, that's Italy.

They'd be winning it
in front of their home crowd.

To do that, they'd have
to deal with the main feature
of the San Remo Rally.

Dust.

It's thrown up by a car,
and a minute later when
the next one comes along,

it's still there.

Which makes seeing where
you're going a bit tricky.

To try and make
everything better,

they fitted a team van
with brushes
and sent it up the course.

But this didn't really work,

so the drivers came up
with a cunning alternative.

On one stage, a minute after
the German car had set off

and the Lancia
was supposed to go...

it didn't move.

So the starter went over
to see what was wrong.

I'm really sorry.
My belt, it's...

I don't know how it's
happened. It's come undone.

I know I should... I should
have done this before
we came to the start line.

It's my bad, really. Oh,
now they've all come undone!

I feel like such an idiot.
I just need to...

By the time the problem
had been solved, the dust,
luckily, had all gone.

Right, we're good to go now.

Oh, no! The door!
Oh, there it is.

Annoyingly, the officials
quickly put a stop to this
Boss Hoggery.

So if Lancia was going
to win here on gravel,

it would all be down
to the skill of the driver.

And, boy, did Walter Rohrl
rise to the occasion.

Looking back in my career,
it was maybe my best rally
in my life I have done.

It was just like...
like a dream.

I mean, I was just thinking,

"I want to...
to cut this corner.

Don't lose 10cm of road."

The car was going
exactly on this point,

and it was flowing.

It was just...

"Nobody can beat me."

And then there was
the magnificent 037 itself.

Driving a Lancia,
it's a perfect thing,

because it... it doing
exactly what you want.

It's like my...
like my... my shoe.

It fits so perfectly.

If I just think it should
do this one, it has done it.

With man and machine
in such perfect harmony,

Rohrl won a staggering
33 of the 58 stages.

The team scored
a one-two-three,
and as a result,

they won
the World Championship.

David had beaten
the four-wheel-drive Goliath.

And no two-wheel-drive car...
would ever do that again.

Yeah, I do, definitely.
I want one.

Great story.
A really good story.

Yeah, it is. What?

I'm just wondering,
though. Did...

Did a Lancia driver win
the Drivers' World
Championship that year?

-No, because Walter Rohrl
didn't want to.
-No, the other bloke.

Markku Alén? Mathematically,
he could have won
the Drivers' Championship.

But after they won the
Constructors' Championship
in San Remo there,

Lancia then,
they didn't bother going
to the last two events.

They just didn't go,
so he couldn't win.

That must be pretty
frustrating if you're
a professional racing driver.

It would be the same as
Mercedes' Formula 1 Team

winning the Constructors'
Championship last year
in Texas,

then saying,
"We're not going to go
to the last three races.

Got Lewis Hamilton going,
"But I can't..."

"I'm sorry, we've won,
and that's all
we're bothered about."

- But I tell you
what makes me sad...
Mm.

..is the way that Lancia
has pretty much vanished
these days.

Oh, I know.
Audi is now enormous,
and Lancia's shrivelled up

to the point where it only
makes one pretty terrible
car, if we're honest,

and it only sells it
in Italy.

It is, it's heartbreaking.
And on that terrible
disappointment -

and for once it really is
a terrible disappointment -
it's time to end.

Thank you so much
for watching. Goodbye.