All language subtitles for Queer As Folk [4x13] - Episode 413

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six,

Shake it, dude.

Cue the pulse to begin

Cue the pulse to begin

Cue the pulse to begin

Cue the pulse to begin

Nice night for a ride.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Following you, to see where you've
been going for the last three weeks.

Now you know.

And now you can go
back home and go to bed.

Do you know what time it is?

The little hand's on the two,
the big hand's on the three.

Quarter after two?

Why the hell are you doing this?

Got to get in shape.

For what?

The Liberty Ride.

You're not still thinking of going.

Just because you and the rest of them
disqualified me doesn't mean that I did.

We're just concerned.

There's so many poor starving children
who go to bed hungry every night.

Be concerned about them.

So why the secrecy?

Because I don't want people like
you saying, "you can't, you mustn�t."

I don't want every cunty faggot who goes to
the gym saying, "poor Kinney, told you so."

I have to hand it to you, your perseverance
is surpassed only by your narcissism.

And there you have it,
the secret to my success.

Unless...

I'm proven wrong by the
nay-sayers, and I fail dismally.

Oh, you're not going to
fail, dismally or otherwise.

You're going to be a big, fat
fucking success, as always.

We're going to go on the ride together,
and at night, we'll pitch a tent...

and we'll have hot, passionate
sex under the stars.

What the fuck are you doing?

I've heard that when achieving your
goal, it's best to visualize it.

And five more seconds.

Come on!

Push it, all you got. Three, two, one.

And sit.

Two minute cool-down.

I'd say we're in great shape
for the ride, wouldn't you?

Provided my ass holds out.

I've never known it to fail.

You've never ridden it for 350 miles.

Maybe you could get an extended
warranty since it's no longer new.

A deep-fat-fried victory dinner says you'll be
seeing it cross the finish line ahead of yours.

This isn't a race. Anyone
who rides is a winner.

Hey, there's supposed to be
some really hot guys riding.

That's what I heard.

A friend of mine went
on a ride last year.

He said at night, the
showers get really steamy,

and he wasn't talking about the water.

Bringing anything with
you that starts with a "c"?

You mean my vitamins? You know
me, never leave home without them.

We're giving the riders a big
send-off before they leave.

I've prepared a speech
expressing the center's gratitude.

A banner, a band,
drag-queen cheerleaders.

Oh, sounds great. I
wish I could be there.

Oh, us too, considering
all the work you've done.

I'm not supposed to leave my
goddamn bed. Doctor's orders.

If it were me, I'd be going stir-crazy.

Not me. I'd fluff up my pillows,
eat bon-bons and watch "Oprah".

Hey, can I get anyone a drink?

Thanks, Linz, we were just leaving.

Now, remember what the
doctor said and stay put.

Bye.

Think I'll take Gus to the park. He
could use some fresh air and so could I.

I know the feeling.

Will you be all right?

Fine, thank you.

Oh, before you go, could
you bring me some tea?

And maybe some peach yoghurt,
and a couple of cookies.

And go upstairs and get me my
maroon cardigan? I'm a little chilly.

Anything else?

Another blanket and a firmer pillow.

And as long as you're out, I need a roll of
stamps, as well as these things from the pharmacy.

Huh. I'm not allowed to move. What
the hell else am I supposed to do?

You might try saying please, and
stop treating me like the hired help,

which actually wouldn't be
so bad. At least I'd get paid.

Sorry, but it's your child too.

That still doesn't give you
the right to order me around.

I wasn't ordering you.

You have a hell of a nerve
talking to me about rights.

You had no right to...

Okay. Okay.

I'll do anything you want,

but let's stop this, right now.

Well, before they give us the green light,
they want to see what they're buying,

and how much it's going
to cost them, which

will be plenty by the time I'm through.

So I'd like one of you to be here to help me convince
them why we have to be true to the original vision.

Sure, Brett, which
one of us do you want?

Probably Justin. Uh, no offence, mike.

The studio execs understand
pictures more than words.

Whatever's good for the project.

Justin?

When would it happen?

This Thursday.

What about the Liberty Ride?

I can't hear you. You're breaking up.

Nothing, Brett. He'll be there.

Great, I'll have my assistant send you an
e-ticket. You can stay in my guest house.

That's my other line. Got to go.

Can you believe it? You're going to L.A.

But I made a commitment.

I have sponsors, I raised money.

If the movie gets made, you
can give them a million bucks.

Hey, Carl.

You looking for some superheroes
to help you fight crime?

Actually, I'm looking for you.

Will you excuse us, Justin?

Yeah, sure.

See ya.

Buy some sun block.

Mind if I eat my lunch
while you interrogate me?

Be my guest.

You want some?

No, thanks. My stomach's
been acting a little funny.

Something wrong?

It's your mother.

I realize she can be a little spicy, but
I've never known her to cause indigestion.

As you know, we've been
seeing each other a lot lately.

I know. I think it's great.

But it can't go on this way.

Suddenly I'm not feeling so good myself.

Nah, I-it's nothing like that.

What I'm trying to say is, I need
someone in my life who'll make me laugh,

who'll make me feel good.

I'm already taken, Carl.

That's why I want to marry your mother.

As soon as you say "you may",
I want her to say "I do".

That�s... that's a big request.

Normally I ask for personal references and w-2
forms for the last three years and an arrest report.

But in your case, I
only have one question.

Do you promise...

you'll be good to her?

I give you my word.

Then the answer is: You may.

I'm like her emotional punching bag.

She pounds away at me all day,
and I just stand there and take it.

That doesn't sound like
old Killer Muldoon to me.

I have no choice. Her doctor said
she has to stay in bed. No stress.

Oh-h.

So now you have to serve in silence like
that muncher in the military, Greta Camembert.

Margaret Cammermeyer, and I don't know
how much longer I can put up with it.

Well... then don�t.

But it's my fault.

I'm the one to blame.

So therefore you're beating yourself up.
Or rather, letting Melanie do it for you.

Old-fashioned as it may seem, I still
believe in loyalty, not betrayal,

self-control, not self-indulgence, even if
I failed to live up to my own expectations.

Tell her that.

She refuses to listen.

She thinks because I fucked Sam
that I'm no longer a lesbian.

Well, you know what a
stickler for detail she is.

Brian, please.

What do you want me to say?

If it's over, get the hell out.

It's not that simple.

What about Gus?

And the one on the way?

Staying together for the sake of the
children is a fucking poor excuse.

I proudly offer myself as Exhibit A.

Hey, sonny boy.

Come here.

Undies, sweaters.

Could you hold these for me
for a minute? Thanks, honey.

Uh, Debbie, I... I...

Carl. You don't have to say it.

I-I-I know we were supposed to be going
to St. Pete's for a few days but...

hell, this is... th-the ride's for the hospice.
How could I not do my bit and volunteer?

You got a big heart.
That's why I love you.

Besides, it'll still be there.
We'll go on our honeymoon.

What?

Ha! I'm joking. Honeymoon? Us?

Okay, so, um, oh.

So you, uh, you wanted
to tell me something.

Go ahead, I'm all ears.

Debbie, honey...

Ears. Fuck! I need earmuffs.

It's supposed to be colder
than a witch's tit in Canada.

Uh, so go ahead, honey,
what is it you wanted to say?

Be sure to bundle up.

Keep packing, Deb, or...

whatever it is you're doing in there.

I-I'll get it.

Teddy.

Hey, Em. I have something for you.

So where is he?

Uh, sorry, nothing like that.

It's just, uh, this.

The $5,000 I owe you for covering for me,
that time I "borrowed" from Gus' college fund.

I, uh... Thank you, Teddy.

I'm sure you can use it.

I don't mean for that.

I mean for keeping your word.

Following through.

You've come a long way.

Yeah, I guess I have.

And now you're about
to go even further, huh?

This time on a bike?

Uh, actually, I've, uh, changed
my mind. I'm not going.

What?

Yeah, I'm up to my garbanzos in work.

I can't leave Brian with everything.

A-and I just got these new plants,

and they're at that critical phase where if
you don't watch them, they could go into shock.

I'm the one who's in shock.
You've been training for weeks.

It's only a bike ride.

Besides, I've got my
meetings, my groups.

Can't you skip them for a few days?

Ah. No, they're what's gotten me through these past
few months. I mean, they've been my support system.

But on the ride, I'd be on my own.

I mean, say, there's a trigger, that I
see guys doing drugs, that I'm tempted...

...where can I go? Who can I call?

I can't take a chance of that happening,
of becoming that person again. No.

Gears lubed up, seat nice and tight.

I'm going to ride it, not fuck it.

Wow!

That is one cool bike.

Yeah. Hunter needed a new
one for the Liberty Ride.

Can I take it out for a
spin? Pleeeze, dad, pleeeeze.

Sure, son.

Just don't be late for dinner.

I'm making your favourite,
blueberry crumble.

So, how were things at work, dear?

Let's see. Hmm.

I finished the latest adventure of Rage.

Hey.

Made 600 bucks in sales on the website.

Oh, and Carl Horvath
wants to marry my mother.

What?

He actually asked me for her hand.

Did you give it to him?

Every last digit.

After all, that's what two people do when
they love each other, right, get married?

What the fuck's all this?

Just making sure we have
everything we need for the ride,

tent, sleeping bags, first aid kit, tool kit,
rain gear, two sets of warm clothes, one dildo.

You certainly thought of everything.

But why do you need a tent if you're
going to be staying in a mansion?

Hmmm?

Michael told me you're winging to the
coast tomorrow to huddle with studio heads.

I never said I was going.

He seems to think that you are.

Well, I'm not.

We're going on the ride
together, as planned.

Well, unfortunately there's
been a slight change of plans.

I�m not going.

Why the fuck not?

Because you're right.

I'm not in good enough shape.

I saw you cycling.

Yeah, and after 30 miles, I was winded.

On the ride we're going to have to
do 80 to 100 miles a day, maybe more.

There's no way I can make it.

That is bullshit. You're just saying
that to get me to go to Hollywood.

Then go on the ride without me.

Sacrifice your future.

Now, that's what I call charity.

Now here's my cell phone number.

And here's Ben�s cell phone number.

Here's Hunter's cell phone number,

and here's the number
for our hotel in Toronto.

Christ, I'll be too busy
calling you to give birth.

You know, maybe I shouldn't go.

Michael, the baby's not due for weeks.

In case something happens...

Nothing's going to happen. Believe me,

I'll be screaming from boredom long
before I'll be screaming from labour.

So go and have a good time.
It'll be an amazing adventure.

I just wish I could be
there to see you guys off.

You stay right here.

And remember, if you need
to get a hold of me...

We know, Michael. We know.

Now would you get the fuck out of here?

- We love you.
- We love you.

What a lucky kid...

to be coming into such
a warm and loving home.

50 tuna sandwiches,

50 ham and cheese,

50 chicken salad, 50 roast beef.

Oh, roast beef's Teddy's favourite.

Better make that 49.

It's a damn shame he decided not to go.

Would've been good for
him. Given him a victory.

Some self-esteem.

He's too afraid to leave
his meetings and groups.

You know, that without his
support system, he'll slip.

He's as addicted to them as
he was to the crystal meth.

Well, at least it's a
healthy addiction, huh?

Too bad he can't take his
support system with him.

Hey, Carl. Honey, hi.

Can I interest you in a box lunch?

It's for the bus trip to
Toronto, but I got an extra.

Thanks, I, uh, I already ate.

Well, you want to lend a hand?

Em, give Carl some fruit.
Show him how it's done.

You take an apple or an orange.

You drop it into the box.

Comme ca. Then you move
on to the next. Got it?

Thanks for the training.

Deb, could you stop
for a second? Honey...

Carl, I'm up to my ass in hard-boiled
eggs. Do you mind if we talk later?

Sure. No hurry.

We'll talk when you get back.

Thank you, baby.

Bye, honey.

Bye.

Lupe.

Come o-out, Lupe.

Come in.

Come on, puss. Be a
good puss. Come on now.

Come on, puss-puss.

Who are you talking to?

Lupe. Come on, puss, puss, puss, puss.

Your cleaning lady's never going to
come out if you talk to her like that.

Lupe's my cat.

You got a cat?

Yeah, I thought it'd be nice to have
something warm and purring to come home to.

Hmm, ain't that the truth?

The minute I brought her in,
she ran straight for the bedroom.

Hmm, a feline after my own heart.

And now she's hiding in the closet.

Well, she'll come out in her own
time, just like the rest of us.

Meanwhile, come.

Concentrate on my crass consumerism.

Spandex as far as the eye can see,
in every colour of the rainbow.

A different ensemble for
every day of the Liberty Ride.

That's very thoughtful of you,
Em. Not to mention extravagant.

But I already told you, I'm not going.

Who said it's for you?

Who else?

Me. I decided to go.

I thought you said you
were too busy working.

Well, the Bushes will have to plan
their next state dinner without me.

That you didn't have the
money for the registration fee.

A very good friend just paid me back.

That you were afraid of
being eaten by a bear.

Well, at least the kind that
live in the wilds of Canada.

But I'm willing to confront my
darkest fears for a worthy cause,

such as helping a friend...

being his support system, seeing him
through any crisis, great or small.

You'd really do that for me?

I believe in you, Teddy.
Despite everything.

I, uh, I want you to succeed.

Think I'll save the tangerine
for the finish line. Hm?

Liberty Ride, Liberty
Ride, go-o-o, Liberty Ride.

The center thanks each and every one of
you for putting forth this wonderful effort

to benefit Liberty House hospice.

We wish you all a great
journey up to Toronto,

and a safe ride back to Pittsburgh.

May this be the adventure of a lifetime.

Please make sure your
bikes are on the truck.

There you go, honey.

It's salami. I'm afraid
we're out of tuna. Huh.

There you go. I'm so proud
of all of you for doing this.

There you go, sweetheart.

Here, honey. Have a good time.

Thanks, deb.

All set. Let's get on board.

I haven't been on a
bus since ninth grade.

Guys would be getting
blow jobs in the back.

Ah, the good old days of junior high.

Well, if it isn't papa bear,
and mama bear and baby bear.

Brian!

Just thought I'd stop by to
remind you to wear your helmets,

stay to the right, and be
sure to use your hand gestures.

Thanks for all the motherly advice,
but my mother's going with me.

I'm sorry you're not.

Hey, have a great trip, you guys.

Mel, what a surprise.

I heard you'd been spending
most of your time in bed.

Living the life of Brian.

What the fuck are you doing here?
You know you're not supposed to...

are you out of your...

No, I'm not out of my... I just came down to see
you off, that's all. So stop worrying. I'm fine.

Just don't let my mom see you.

You know how hysterical she gets.

Your mom? Right.

We made just enough lunches.

I guess he's not coming, honey.

I thought I'd convinced
him to change his mind.

Michael! Get your asses on board,
you guys. Come on. And save me a seat.

Coming?

Debbie!

Carl!

Sweet of you to come down here. I
told you you didn't have to do that.

Yes, I did. I couldn't leave without...

telling you...

Ma, would you get on the bus?

I got to go.

I'll call you when I get there.

Can you wait a goddamn minute? I've been
trying to ask you for the last two days.

Will you marry me?

What?

I said, marry me.

Will you marry me?

Tell him yes, and get on the bus.

Yes.

Yes.

Of course I'll marry you.

Fuck!

Bye.

Bye.

Keep the change.

Thank you.

Shit! Hey.

Hey!

Hey!

Stop... stop the bus!

Stop the fucking bus!

Hey!

Made it.

Knew you would.

Where the fuck have you been?

I come home, you're not here,
I look everywhere, frantic.

I was about to call the
hospital, the police, the morgue.

I thought something
terrible had happened.

Would you calm down?

No, I will not calm down.

You scared the shit out of me.

Sorry.

I can tell.

I went to the Liberty Ride send-off.

Why would you do that?

After everyone told you...

to spite me?

That's right, honey.

Make it all about you, as usual.

You're the one who has
a right to be angry,

to be indignant, to feel betrayed.

Well, guess what, my shikseh goddess?

You don't call me that.

This time it isn't about you.

It's about me.

I went out because if I stayed in
this house another minute with you,

I'd go out of my fucking mind.

So I left for 10 minutes.

Okay, half-hour, tops.

I drove over to Liberty Avenue,
said my goodbyes, and drove back.

And look.

Here I am.

Miracle of miracles, alive
and still in one piece.

We can't go on doing the all-female version
of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?".

It's just too exhausting.

You can't forgive me,

no matter how much I apologize
and try to make it up to you.

And I'm starting not to care.

I mean, after all, how many
times can someone reject you

before you finally just give up?

So what are you saying?

That perhaps it's best...

for both of us...

and for Gus and the baby...

if we aren't together.

That we stop putting each
other through needless hell.

Trying to repair something
which obviously can't be fixed.

I think you're right.

I'll stay until after the baby's born.

How is the lunch? I made
it with my own two hands.

How about those lemon bars, huh?

Aren't they to die for?

Ma, would you sit down
and stop showing off?

I'm allowed. How many times in your
life do you get an engagement ring?

Elizabeth Taylor, eight times,
twice from Richard Burton.

Jennifer Lopez, three.
Julia Roberts, four.

Thank you.

You know what I mean.

When a man gives you
a ring, it's special.

It's meaningful.

Well I wouldn't know.

Then maybe it's time you found out.

Found out what?

Michael Novotny...

you are the man I�ve been
looking for all my life.

I am so very blessed to have found you.

Which is why I�m asking you...

to do me the honour...

of accepting my hand in marriage.

We're going to Toronto

where gay marriage is
not only accepted, it�s...

it's legal.

And...

like you said,

that's what two people do when
they love each other, right?

I don't know what... what to say.

"Yes" would be good.

Everyone, a toast to my friend Malcolm.

Happy birthday!

Hey, Justin.

I could give you a line the
party's to welcome you to L.A.

But it's a birthday bash
for my friend, Malcolm.

He just won an Oscar for
scoring his first film.

Your house is amazing.

Yeah. I call it the
house that "V Men" built.

Soon you'll have a
house that "Rage" built.

Joseph, Mr. Taylor will be
staying with us for a few days.

Would you take his
bag to the guest house?

I have a butler.

Just like Bruce Wayne.

Hey, ken, how's it going?

Great, Brett.

Now, let's get you a drink.

The meeting's all set for
Thursday at the studio.

We'll go by my office tomorrow,

I'll show you some of the
storyboards we've come up with.

Brettski.

Hey, Con, I thought
you couldn't make it?

Just got back from location.

This is Justin Taylor,
he created "Rage".

Let me tell you, Brett�s
obsessed with your comic.

Justin, this is Connor James.

I know, I know.

Calls himself an actor.

A few others do too.

Including me. I think you're great.

Thanks.

What would you think of Con for Rage?

He... I mean, you would be wonderful.

Get me a script when you have it.

Is he...?

Of course not.

Connor's as straight as they come.

He's out banging bitches every night.

There's the CN Tower.

And that's the Skydome.

All very scenic. But the one site one
mustn't miss while visiting Toronto is...

Church Street.

According to the Damron Guide,
"it's the centre of Toronto gay life.

From its colourful
neighbourhood bar, Moosie's,

to its thumpa-thumpa
dance club, Gomorrah."

Oh, let's go to Gomorrah.

Sounds hot.

Probably the only place in Toronto
that is. I'm frigging freezing.

You're probably going to think I�m crazy,
but you know what this street reminds me of?

Liberty Avenue.

Leather daddies, twinks,
bears, drag queens.

It's all pretty much the
same, wherever you go.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Except here everybody's so fucking
polite and refined, you could shit.

Hey, here's Moosie's.

Good. Let's go in here and get warm.

First round's on me.

Wait.

You'll have a Canada Dry.

And if anyone asks
you how old you are...

I'll just say what I used to say:

"How old would you like me to be?"

We'll go there later after we're done.

Okay.

Thanks.

I don't know about you,
but I'm having a gay-ja vu.

You too?

Make it three.

It really reminds me of...

Woody's!

And the strangest thing of all is
I keep expecting Brian to walk in.

Uh, Molson�s.

Brian!

Calm down. Keep your pants on,

or not.

How did you get here?

Mikey, did no one ever tell you?

In 1903, at Kitty
Hawk in North Carolina,

the Wright brothers invented
this thing called...

- Flight!
- Right.

What the fuck are you doing here?

The Liberty Ride begins
here, am I correct?

So you came to cheer us on?

Exactly, professor.

I cashed in 25,000 travel miles so I
could come here and be your cheerleader.

No. I'm going on the ride.

I'll be busting a nut for
charity, same as you.

The natives are so friendly.

This is Jean-Claude.

He's French Canadian.

Bonsoir.

- Hi.
- Bonsoir.

Bonsoir. Don't you just love it?

J.C. Here has very kindly offered to
show me how Canadians keep warm at night.

But, I said...

Sorry, Jean-Claude, um,

but, uh, as much as I would love for
you to, I'm here with my friend Ted.

So you'll just have to show someone
else how to rub two sticks together.

Au revoir, mon ami.

Salut.

Bye.

What's going on?

Oh, it's a stag for Roger and
Dennis. They're getting married.

Been together 32 years.

I'm glad you decided to come, but I don't
know how in the hell you're going to make it.

Oh, I might just surprise you.

Thanks, but I�ve had enough surprises.

Ben proposed.

Proposed what?

Marriage. It's legal for us
to get married here in Toronto.

I believe I read that somewhere.

Well, I hope while he was down on
his knees he did something useful.

It was beautiful, and heartfelt.

I'm sure.

But you declined, of course, because
deep down, you still love me best.

Shut up.

I didn't given him an answer yet.

Well, what's stopping you?

Besides the fact that it's the
most pathetic idea I�ve ever heard?

It just so happens that a lot
of gay men want to get married.

Darling, have you seen them?

And since when did you ever have the
least interest in getting married?

I didn�t. But not
because I didn't want to,

but because I never thought I could.

It wasn't a story I told myself
like straight kids did, you know.

That some day I'd meet that special person,
and we'd fall in love and have a big wedding.

It... it was never real for me.

And all this stuff started happening: In
Massachusetts, and California, and here.

And all of a sudden, a whole, wide world
of wonderful opportunities just opened up.

Vows and rice and
registering at pottery barn.

Not to mention an acrimonious divorce, an
ugly settlement, and having your kid hate you.

Look, listen to me.

Are you listening?

I'm listening.

We're queer.

We don't need marriage.

We don't need the sanction of dickless
politicians and pederast priests.

We fuck who we want to, when we
want to. That is our god-given right.

But it's also our god-given right to
have everything that straight people have.

Because we're every bit
as much human as they are.

Well, you're a writer.

Rewrite the story.

Congratulations.

Hm. This is touching, don't you think?

I do.

I do.

Ben, did you hear what I just said?

Yeah, I heard you. You said "I... "

I'm going to need stage
seven for Rage's lair,

and the entire back
lot to build Gayopolis.

There are a few other pictures
we'd like to shoot here.

This is the only one that I'm directing.

Ya punk.

You sound like I've already
given you the green light.

So what's stopping you?

The price tag for starters.

This little epic of yours is
going to cost me a fucking fortune.

You can afford it. My last
picture made you 250 million.

Yeah. This one's different.

A gay superhero?

The world's ready for it.

Maybe your world, but not Topeka.

If it's good, if it's got a big enough star,
if you hype the shit out of it, they'll go.

Right?

Guys?

It all looks pretty grim
and depressing to me.

Who wants to see a kid
get his head bashed in?

And what about all this sex?

Blow-jobs and
butt-fucking on every page.

It's something the audience
has never seen before.

What makes you think
they want to see it now?

The concession stand's going to have
a hell of a time selling Hershey bars.

Look, you want to go with the gay thing,

you're going to cut back on the ass
business, and it's got to be cheerier.

And why does your hero have
to be so fucking arrogant?

Excuse me, Mr. Fenderman,

but our comic book was
conceived that way for a reason.

Because a lot of the shit that
gay people go through is grim.

I ought to know, I'm a kid
who got his head bashed in.

As far as the ass business,

getting your butt fucked is one of the
great pleasures, and privileges of being gay.

If you haven't experienced
it yourself, I recommend it.

As far as Rage is concerned,

just because he has no apologies for
who he is, and no regrets about his life

doesn't make him arrogant.
It makes him honest and brave.

So despite your concerns, we prefer
to be true to our original vision.

Rage wouldn't expect anything less.

We are here today
to join in matrimony

Mr. Michael Novotny and
Mr. Benjamin Bruckner.

Christ, this is the last time I�m
going to a wedding with two queens.

Do you, Michael, promise to
love, respect and cherish Ben

and be his true and faithful husband?

I do.

And do you, Ben,
promise to love, respect

and cherish Michael and be
his true and faithful husband?

Say I do, dude.

I do.

If anyone knows of any reason why these
two people should not be joined in marriage,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

You say one word, you're gonna
be holding more than your peace.

The rings, please.

Now by the authority of
the Province of Ontario,

I pronounce you to be legally married.

I'm not losing a son, huh?

I'm gaining a... son.

You're next, ma.

God, you barely shed a tear
at Mel and Linz's ceremony.

Well, they're dykes, for chrissakes.

They shake hands and go bowling.

How much can you get choked up?

Oh, Michael, we have to sign this.

There we go.

Gladly.

Anyway, it's not just
for Michael and Ben.

You know, if things had
been different, maybe...

I cannot believe we are married.

No point in beating yourself up, Teddy.

We're still friends, aren't we?

Which means we'll be around a
lot longer than most marriages.

All right, you boys stick together,
all right? And look out for each other.

We will, ma.

Shit. I just called you "boys".

You're married men now.

Go on before I start bawling.

Someone mention balling?

And you, I want you to take it easy, you hear
me? Don't act like some fucking superhero.

Yes, mother.

Okay. I'm going to be on the food
wagon, keeping an eye out for all of you.

Riders, are you ready?

Okay, then,

Liberty Ride 2004,
Toronto to Pittsburgh,

officially begins! Yeah!

Moo!