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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:03,679 OK, darling, bye. 2 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,910 When we have such a great script, Claude, 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:14,070 we gotta go for it. You have first offer. 4 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:15,639 What's the story? 5 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,360 Well, I lost my car keys... 6 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,193 - Then what? - He looks for them during the film. 7 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,318 He looks for his car keys? 8 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,359 With his buddy. When you search... 9 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:31,593 things happen to you: Adventures, action... 10 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:34,715 Yes. 11 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,114 Like it? Want more story? 12 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,835 You produced Life is a Long Calm River. 13 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,515 Sorry, that title doesn't do the film justice. 14 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,750 Whereas Car Keys... 15 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,154 - How much does your film cost? - In euros? 16 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,434 - No, francs. - 23 million francs. 17 00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,396 23? 18 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,876 That's a lot. 23! 19 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,759 Yes, but getting the keys back is what matters. 20 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,831 It certainly does at that price. 21 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:11,357 At the end of the film I go: "What was he trying to say?" 22 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,910 And I feel a lump in my left pocket... 23 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,355 - The keys are in his left pocket? - Yes. 24 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,792 He only looked in one pocket? 25 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:23,509 Yes. He never puts his keys in his left pocket. 26 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,477 I see... 27 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,552 - Powerful stuff, huh? - Very powerful! 28 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,354 So what's the story? 29 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,434 It takes him 90 minutes to find his car keys? 30 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:39,390 Yes. It's an adventure, a quest, rites of passage, an allegory. 31 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:40,789 An allegory? 32 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:45,112 It's an image. The Knights of the Round Table looked for the Grail, 33 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,316 it was a kind of tankard. 34 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:52,638 Jason looked for the Golden Fleece, it was an old goat skin. 35 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:53,869 A goat skin? 36 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,032 The object is just a pretext for adventures. 37 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,873 Like I'm looking for money. 38 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,956 - 23? - 23. 39 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:06,599 23. 40 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,956 - It's zappy. - Yes, it's been thought through. 41 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,634 - It's a zappy read. - Zappy. 42 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,234 I thought of calling it Zappy. 43 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,710 - But I couldn't, it's Car Keys. - Car Keys. 44 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,552 - Or we lose the story. - For sure. 45 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,713 What's the story? 46 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,359 Don't go away. 47 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,352 Use my phone, make yourself at home. 48 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,399 Feel free. 49 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,198 We can't be disturbed. 50 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,670 We're cutting a major deal. Call me back. 51 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:42,150 - He's onto something big. - Tell him to piss off. 52 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,959 America, Dreamworks, fuck 'em. This is real. 53 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,476 - You didn't pass me Spielberg? - He just said... 54 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:53,712 He said Dreamworks, Dreamworks is Spielberg. 55 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,957 That's a rough outline, if you want details we can... 56 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,838 No, no details. 57 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,797 Who's playing the other part? 58 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,509 When the agents heard about my film, 59 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,910 the hottest in town, they went crazy. 60 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,914 - Who did? - Artmedia, all the agents. 61 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,230 - They read it? - They wet themselves. 62 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,118 After reading it? 63 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,635 Massive commercial potential. 64 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:24,157 You don't realise it's gonna be mega. Did you see Asterix? 65 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:26,639 What's the story? 66 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,313 Car Keys.... 67 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:31,514 We'll see. 68 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,918 There, sorted. 69 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,674 I'll leave it? 70 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,198 Yes, but I'll read it when you have a cast. 71 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,950 23 million. 72 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,869 I can't see that trash happening. 73 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,071 Dream on! 74 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,597 Stop stalking me! 75 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,797 I don't want to do your film, it's crap. 76 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,792 Back off, I said no. 77 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:12,113 - Have you read it? - No, but you're a pain in the butt. 78 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,750 No, no, really. 79 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,514 - Another time. - But I wrote it for you! 80 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,234 You mean I'm like that character? 81 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,789 - It's you. - Drop it. 82 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,109 No. 83 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,596 - But I wrote the part for you. - Yes, but... no. 84 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:31,912 Laurent, I haven't had time to talk to you... 85 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,911 I didn't like the part. 86 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,914 You highjack me for 90 minutes because you lost your car keys. 87 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,559 I don't give a shit. 88 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,190 I'm not interested in looking for your car keys. 89 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,158 I've never been offered such a crap part. 90 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,869 You're a moron. You wrote that with your feet! 91 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,234 Piss off, ask Dieudo. 92 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,038 Piss off, ask Elie. 93 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,031 He loses his keys and then... 94 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,159 - I lose my keys. - OK, you lose your keys... 95 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:04,155 I'm not interested. Car Keys. It's a bit flimsy. 96 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:14,593 I respect what you do on TV, it cracks me up, 97 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,594 you do it very well, but a film is different. 98 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,116 It's Carn�, Renoir, the Fr�res Lumi�re, 99 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:26,910 it's La Ciotat, the train pulling into the station. 100 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,469 It's about the history of humanity. 101 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,552 Not some little asshole who I respect... 102 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,359 "No, not TV, I want to do films." 103 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,957 You're going to get fucked, metaphorically speaking. 104 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,553 No hard feelings. 105 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,073 - No? - No. 106 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:44,195 That's my beer. 107 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,591 - That's my beer. - We're one big happy family. 108 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,113 It's a piece of shit. 109 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:53,592 The nerve of the guy. Shit! Buy some talent. 110 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,198 And shut the door. 111 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,839 Fuck! 112 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,788 No! 113 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,437 How can I put it? No! 114 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,679 I don't want to be in it. 115 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,712 It's not that I don't want to, I can't! 116 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,877 I don't want to. 117 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,557 Maybe you can sell it to the States. 118 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,792 - Not a chance. Sorry. - You mean no? 119 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,472 I'm not even turning round, see. 120 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,554 Good luck when you open! 121 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,718 I've said 20 times I won't do it. 122 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,316 Are you deaf? No, I won't do your film. 123 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:46,270 I've worked with the greatest, I can't work with the lowest. 124 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,790 - Can I have my script back? - Sure. 125 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,718 Sorry, it slipped. 126 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,472 It's not for me. 127 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,070 It's not for you either. 128 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,274 - Like my script? - It sucks. Please stop. 129 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,752 I've had enough of you and your script. 130 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,189 Please stop. Thank you anyway. 131 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,277 Get off my back! 132 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,869 I hate the part, the film, the title, the story 133 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,998 and I don't like you much either. 134 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,836 Never. You don't go from Resnais to Baffie, no way. 135 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:45,313 I'm performing. I don't want to do your film, I'm performing. 136 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:49,633 You know the saying? "The kiss of death". 137 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,798 He wants me in his film. 138 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,199 Not a chance. 139 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,833 Sorry, I can't do it. 140 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:05,558 Or if I do, only a voice-over. 141 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,228 A dog's voice-over. 142 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:15,994 Wait, wait! 143 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,150 I will if it's a plasticine dog. 144 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,837 - Found an actor? - I'm counting on you. 145 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,592 Better start looking. 146 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,270 Fucking unbelievable! 147 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,472 Car Keys. 23, take 1! 148 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,831 JAWS 149 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:55,719 CAR KEYS 150 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:02,159 Written and directed by 151 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:07,834 Coming! 152 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,952 - Open the door! - Who's there? 153 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,233 - Who is it? - Me! 154 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,436 I know lots of me's. 155 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,316 It's ME! 156 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,879 You should have said! 157 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:28,956 You take forever. 158 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,712 Your loft is hard to find. 159 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,791 - Like it? - Fantastic! 160 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,838 Still watching wild life docs? 161 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,117 - No, it's CCTV for the WC. - Nutter! 162 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:46,192 A Pastunag ray. Same family as the angel fish, the shark... 163 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,750 I can't tell the ass from the ox in the Christmas crib. 164 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,911 I don't give a shit about your fish stories. 165 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,833 - They're interesting. - Still into zoology? 166 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,037 It's taking over your life! Invading your space! 167 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,236 Animals everywhere! Look! 168 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,391 - 2 goldfish. - No kidding! 169 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,039 And that! 170 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,711 - What's that? - It's tidied away. It's sorted. 171 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,199 You're kidding! 172 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,318 - And this? - Youngsters. 173 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,789 Look, they're everywhere! 174 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,155 Jacqueline, back to your room! 175 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,594 What's over there? 176 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,273 My caiman! 177 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:23,555 Great apartment. 178 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,278 - What's the rent? - 5000. 179 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,236 5000? Cool! 180 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,674 5000 euros. 181 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,040 - Daylight robbery. - Check this out. 182 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,668 What? 183 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,115 - A door onto the sea. - Don't take the piss! 184 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,475 I swear. Look! Come on! 185 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,959 What a load of crap. 186 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:44,116 Ready? 187 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,754 How about that? 188 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,830 Holy shit! Great! 189 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,753 We picnic here with the kids on weekends. 190 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,876 - Wicked, huh? - Awesome! 191 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,469 Beautiful. 192 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,352 - Come on, Daniel. - It's great! 193 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,830 - Overpriced? - Worth every penny. 194 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,719 Fancy a door onto the sea in your home? 195 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,878 It's my dream. 196 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,354 Onto the sea? 197 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,431 Paris with the sea: Perfect! 198 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:20,355 No, I like the sea but not a door directly onto it. 199 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,556 I don't need it. 200 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,551 In a detached house, OK, 201 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:29,874 but an apartment has stairs to go up to it, 202 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,554 the 1st, 2nd or 3rd floor, 203 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,792 a door up there can't open onto the sea. 204 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,678 Absolutely, but... 205 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,910 Antoine, come back! 206 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,116 He's too old to run away. 207 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,713 Antoine, come back! 208 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:48,153 Yes, I'd like one, 209 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,835 but I don't want the sea coming indoors. 210 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:07,357 - Where do I take a leak? - On the left. 211 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:16,515 - I'm sorry... That's for cats. - So what? 212 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:20,355 - It's disgusting. - Field mouse p�t�, delicious. 213 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:25,355 A Tibetan proverb says: "To think like a cat, eat like a cat." 214 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:31,795 Holy shit! 215 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,319 Talk about style! 216 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,838 Nouveau riche! 217 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,958 Dead flashy! 218 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,519 What a loo! 219 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,831 - Found it? - Yeah! 220 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:47,509 Megalomaniac! 221 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,478 Not even a crab. 222 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,875 He could afford three prawns. 223 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,632 I can hear you, Daniel! 224 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,512 - Let's move. - Right. 225 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,676 - Lost something? - My car keys. 226 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:04,955 Shit! 227 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,475 - Stop yelling and help me. - Where did you put them? 228 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,478 If I knew that, we'd be out of here! 229 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,475 I always keep them in this pocket. 230 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,153 OK, calm down. 231 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,069 Your keys? When did you last see them? 232 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,277 I went down to move my car this morning. 233 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,750 Your car? Did you move it before or after breakfast? 234 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,512 Before. 235 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:27,829 - That's bad. - Why? 236 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,992 You have your head up your ass before breakfast, you can screw up. 237 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,390 No car keys here, that's for sure. 238 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,116 Hello. Have you seen my car keys? 239 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,713 No, sir. 240 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,872 - But you see your tips? - It's not my fault. 241 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,237 Avaricious cow! She steams open my mail. 242 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,029 - Have you seen my car keys? - No. 243 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,639 - Anyone seen my car keys? - No, sorry. 244 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,519 - Hello! - Did I leave my keys here? 245 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,557 I haven't seen them. 246 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,917 - Pascal, seen my car keys? - Sorry, I'm busy in the cellar. 247 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,833 - Looked in the loo? - Good thinking. 248 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,475 - Did you go to the beach earlier? - Yes. 249 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,756 - Well? - No! 250 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,476 - Any luck? - No. And you? 251 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:23,755 Nothing! 252 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,829 - What now? - Retrace our steps back home. 253 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,115 Come on! 254 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,951 Put it on my tab. 255 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,276 Babe! Clear up. 256 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,749 - Lost your car keys? - Found them? 257 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,388 - Yeah! - Great! Here's 2 euros. 258 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,353 He thinks we're dumb. 259 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,717 If you want your keys back you gotta open your piggy bank. 260 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,236 Is that it? 261 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,675 We want a ride on the merry-go-round. 262 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,429 - Where are you going? - The Swing Boats. 263 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,952 Look, Daniel! 264 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,793 The kids! They've run off! 265 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,315 The keys! 266 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,119 - Shit! - Sorry. 267 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,158 - We'll help. Where are you going? - Home. 268 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,470 - Some coffee? - Lovely. 269 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,189 You have a piano? Do you play? 270 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,954 No, not here in the library. 271 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,715 I would if it was in my bedroom. 272 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,633 - Where is your bedroom? - Upstairs. 273 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,595 - Lift it up. - I am! 274 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,069 I'm stuck. Hold on! 275 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,195 Lift it! 276 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,068 Why can't she play the flute? Fucking bitch! 277 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,390 Are you mad? He's just kidding! 278 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,312 I'm falling backwards... 279 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,113 Your garden is amazing. 280 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,953 The gardeners have let me down. 281 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,233 Bitch! 282 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:52,750 Rub, Daniel! 283 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,754 - What now? - Carpentry, and you? 284 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,310 Tiling, then I must check the septic tank. 285 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,516 She's pushing it. Let's quit. 286 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,591 She did give us a coffee. 287 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,033 Rub! I did 3 more windows than you. 288 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,272 - Who cleaned the stables? - Who stocked the pond? 289 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,353 - Who repaired the roof? - Who emptied the rabbit traps? 290 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,556 - Delicious wine. - My own vineyard. 291 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,516 Really? 292 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:30,673 I grow wine in the South, my overseer just phoned, 293 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,319 he needs workers. 294 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,994 He does? Maybe we can... 295 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,792 Wonderful! 296 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:05,518 See where being nice lands us? 297 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,558 One favour, then another... What's going on? 298 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,994 He's looking! 299 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,439 Move it! 300 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:18,354 Get to work! Move your asses! 301 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,073 This isn't the Club Med! 302 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,309 Lazy buggers! 303 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:36,436 I warn you. Next time I won't aim at your thigh. Get cracking! 304 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,996 - He's sick! - Daniel. 305 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,516 If a helicopter swoops down over us 306 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,069 we'll grab it and get out of this nightmare, OK? 307 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,030 A helicopter? Are you stoned? 308 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,719 Trust me. 309 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,673 - Your bucket! - Got it. 310 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,159 Put it down. 311 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,791 Ready? Go! 312 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,792 - Look out! - He'll miss us! 313 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,438 How did you do that? 314 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,431 I wrote this film so we do what I want. 315 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,916 - Are we in a film? - Yes, Daniel. 316 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,196 You've written everything we say and do? 317 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,799 - I'm hallucinating! - Why? 318 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,758 You're making a film 319 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,595 about two blokes looking for their car keys for 90 minutes. 320 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,876 You won't be taking that trash to the Cannes Film Festival. 321 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,156 You never like anything. 322 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:46,673 I knew that door onto the sea was impossible. 323 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,355 - What's the title? - Car Keys. 324 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,158 It had to be. I'm stupid. 325 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,949 I'm in a mega-flop, looking for car keys. 326 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,270 The car keys don't matter. 327 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,593 They don't matter? So why are we looking for them? 328 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,957 It's an inner journey, seeking true identity. 329 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,599 Rites of passage. 330 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,957 An allegory, if you like. 331 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,999 An allegory?! You're boring when you're stoned! 332 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,676 - I'm not stoned! - So when do we land? 333 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,592 After the scene with the bee. 334 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:19,674 - We get stung by a bee? - Not us. 335 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,675 The pilot. 336 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,318 Hang on! 337 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,513 Fucking idiot! Tell him no bumps! 338 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,193 What the fuck's he doing? 339 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,839 Would you go to see a film called Car Keys? 340 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,632 Car Keys? 341 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,075 You're joking! 342 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,913 - It depends. Who's in it? - Me. 343 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,315 - Who directed it? - Me. 344 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,835 The subject's not much but it could be. 345 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,311 I doubt it can hold an audience for 2 hours. 346 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,631 Yes, why not? I've just seen a film. 347 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:02,997 - Dubitchous? - No, thanks. 348 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:07,631 - Can it stand up for 90 minutes? - Yes, I think so. 349 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:13,193 "Car" is a familiar, popular word. 350 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,396 Why not say "vehicle"? 351 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,916 The definitive article is preferable, 352 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,993 which gives us: "The car keys". 353 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:25,914 Thanks for the bee. 354 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,197 That's why the camera's there. I found it bizarre. 355 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:33,672 We must do it again, you looked at the camera! 356 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,479 We can't do crap like that 15 times over! 357 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,474 - Never look at the camera! - Why, will it break? 358 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,679 Actors never look at the camera. Stop pissing about! 359 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,990 Chill out, OK. 360 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:48,673 - You're heavy. - Alright. 361 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,752 Damn heavy. A pain in the butt. 362 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,514 - What did you do? - Nothing. 363 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,079 - Where's Paris? - Through that door. 364 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,800 - Neat! - It's practical. 365 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:04,352 Why didn't you write a thriller with guns and broads? 366 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,114 It's been done before. 367 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,716 - Car Keys hasn't. - Ever ask yourself why? 368 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,518 No one had the idea. 369 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,910 It sucks. A pathetic script. 370 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:19,073 You can't say that now. We've only just begun! 371 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:24,234 It's obvious: We look for the keys, at the end we find them. 372 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,470 - Right. - Great script! 373 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,997 - Got a better idea? - We could change the story. 374 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,994 Now? It took years to write. 375 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,594 You can't change it on the set! 376 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,274 How long did writing your allegory take? 377 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,351 - 3 years. - 3 years? 378 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:43,475 Yes. 379 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,154 - 3 years to write crap like that? - Yes! 380 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,834 Back off! It's over. Stop. 381 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,150 - Stop what? - The film, the allegory, the crap! 382 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,151 It's over. Let's go. 383 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,589 - Happy? - It's to save you from the critics. 384 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:58,795 It's sorted now. 385 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,272 I said cut! Are you deaf? 386 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,919 - A wrap for the day? - No, for good. 387 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,152 - He stopped the film? - I won't get dole. 388 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,231 We've been spared a fuck-up. 389 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,275 You look terrible. What's wrong? Your keys? 390 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,635 - Two halves. - The same for me. 391 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,074 "Cast down", in 9 letters. 392 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:26,514 "Depressed". 393 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,553 - I feel like shit. - Why? 394 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,389 - I don't know. - Here's why: 395 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,710 We've stopped looking for the keys. 396 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:42,350 - Think so? - Sure. Life was exciting then. 397 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,796 Now we're propping up the bar like 2 winos. 398 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,552 We could make the film? 399 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,917 - Right, but you said it was crap. - No. 400 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,355 Your story's not bad. 401 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:55,839 - Do you mean it? - Sure. 402 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,878 It seems dumb but we do get some action. 403 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,469 - We'll go on with the film? - Yes. 404 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:04,435 Really? 405 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,397 - I can't take this. - Good! 406 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,279 Back to work, kids! Kill that crap music! 407 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,671 Bring on the extras, set up the camera! 408 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:18,715 Action! 409 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,111 Car Keys. 23C, take 1. 410 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:25,432 Promise me it's going to be good. 411 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:29,718 Don't worry, there are tricks to make a film successful. 412 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,472 Such as? 413 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,756 I'll show you. Look. 414 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:39,789 Chalk! 415 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,832 What do you need to make a good film? 416 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,274 Action. 417 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,589 Suspense, adventure. 418 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:50,989 Humour. 419 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,390 You have a problem with that, Daniel. 420 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:54,875 A beautiful love story. 421 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,712 Right. 422 00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,034 Good dialogue. 423 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,710 - Children. - Yes, children. 424 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,633 Animals, beautiful music. 425 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,072 A message, that's vital. 426 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,157 And most of all, a happy end. 427 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,035 There! 428 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,156 - Is that the lot? - Yes. 429 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,436 And naked girls! 430 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,875 - Talented actors. - Right. 431 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,713 - Special effects! - Yes! 432 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,350 - Good gags. - Absolutely. 433 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,388 A running gag. 434 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,152 Excellent, Marcel! 435 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:33,953 - I've got one! - Who? 436 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,872 - My cousin. - Is he a running gag? 437 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:36,836 Forget it. 438 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,831 - Animals. - Excellent! 439 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,991 - Said it. - Zoology is a must. 440 00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:45,591 Don't start that again! Films never feature zoology! 441 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,997 How about Gorillas in the Mist? Microcosmos? Winged Migration? 442 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:50,673 Is this an animal film? 443 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,434 No, it's still Car Keys, 444 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,591 but when it's appropriate 445 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,239 I'll inject zoology. 446 00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:58,993 - Discreetly. - Don't worry. 447 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:00,594 - Naked girls! - Said it! 448 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:01,988 - Naked guys. - No! 449 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,559 - Naked children. - Get out! 450 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,317 - Old people. - That's smart. 451 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,630 - A running gag. - You said it. 452 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,633 - Beautiful feelings. - Beautiful feelings. 453 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,269 - Movie references. - Good! 454 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,715 - Disabled people. - Definitely. 455 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,397 - A peach melba! - Hopeless! 456 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,152 Low cut dresses. 457 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,276 - My running gag. - No, Marcel. 458 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,189 What are you doing? 459 00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:31,193 We're not going to use the plural for your performance. 460 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,237 I've had an idea. 461 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,073 - We haven't had the love story. - Later. 462 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,231 Whose story will it be? 463 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,038 - You'll see. - Tell me. 464 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,589 If you know, you'll act badly. 465 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:46,515 - I can't tell you what happens. - Go on, please! 466 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,350 You're a drag. I wanted to surprise you. 467 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,717 - Is it me? - Yes. 468 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,952 Thank you! Is the bird hot? 469 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,712 Don't be crude. 470 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,394 - Is she beautiful? - Gorgeous. 471 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,596 Curvy, the style that turns you on. 472 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:05,838 - Hold it. - Something wrong? 473 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,671 - What's the catch? - Catch? 474 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:12,317 You wrote it, if there's a sexy babe to fuck... 475 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,633 - Daniel! - I mean a beautiful girl to seduce, 476 00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:18,076 and you let me have her, 477 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,992 there may be a catch. 478 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,232 Maybe she has a fungus, a gag like that. 479 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,990 You think that's funny? 480 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:27,959 It's OK, we agree. 481 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,399 See that, Daniel. 482 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,358 A white-backed vulture. Gibs Africanus. 483 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,830 The female lays 2 eggs a year. The male lives 50 years. 484 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,753 - A fine bird! - Discreetly with the zoology. 485 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,390 - Is it too much? - A vulture in Paris? No! 486 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,957 We're in front of your house, looking for the keys again? 487 00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,429 - Back to the beginning? - Yes. 488 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,717 - My love story will be soon? - Stop it. 489 00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:00,350 - You're slowing down the action. - But it's time! 490 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,511 Doesn't she have a watch? 491 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,875 You can't hurry a love scene. 492 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,350 You can't start in bed right away. Or Summer '42 would've lasted 5 mns. 493 00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,272 A great film. Summer '42. 494 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,194 By that you mean our film is crap? 495 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:15,679 You're paranoid! 496 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:19,753 - From an expert, that touches me! - You think you're an author! 497 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,672 - Get stuffed. - Nice line. 498 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,751 - Fuck off, moron! - Brilliant dialogue! 499 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,912 - Why did I hire a loser like you? - Say it again! 500 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,755 Everyone in the business knows you're a has-been. 501 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,469 Don't push me, jerk, I don't need this crap, 502 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,437 an actor of my calibre. 503 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,955 Stuff your calibre up your ass! 504 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,078 - Where's Rue Picpus? - Piss off, bitch! 505 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,157 - Not now! - The guy's mental! 506 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,592 Nice start, Daniel! 507 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,191 - My love story? - No, my mum! 508 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:51,509 Shit! 509 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:53,435 Hey, Miss... 510 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:57,873 Sort that one out, I'm watching. A way with girls, huh? 511 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,915 - I'm sorry, I was arguing. - I don't give a damn. 512 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,919 We'll have a fantastic relationship... 513 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,993 I can't explain but it will be mega... 514 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,430 Stop! Please! 515 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,798 Listen to me! 516 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,756 It's gonna be mega between us... 517 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:27,309 Look! 518 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,312 I'm doing it! 519 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,510 I'm walking on my hands. 520 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:40,119 There. 521 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,038 Please, please... 522 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,112 A coffee. Only a minute. 523 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,397 Please. I beg you. 524 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:52,629 Well? 525 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,915 - I'm Daniel. And you? - Lucie. 526 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,390 Lucie? What a pretty name. 527 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:01,549 What do you do? 528 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,439 - I work in a fishmonger's. - A fishmonger's? 529 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,512 Great! You must know all about fish. 530 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,240 - Quite a lot. - What's your favourite? 531 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,868 - I have lots. - Go on, tell me! 532 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,271 - No, you'll laugh at me. - No, tell me! 533 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:20,319 I like scorpion fish, hake, herring, 534 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:22,994 monkfish tail, whelks... 535 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,833 Sorry, whelks aren't fish! 536 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,117 I love you, Lucie. 537 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,157 I love you too, Daniel. 538 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,595 Cut it out, you're a pain! 539 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,035 Your dialogue is lousy enough without your karaoke. 540 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:47,076 - One last drink at my place? - You're right, let's make love. 541 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:49,834 Cut! 542 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,353 Fuck! 543 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,072 Are you staying here? 544 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:03,714 Why? Am I disturbing you? 545 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,434 We'd like some privacy. 546 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:09,638 - I'm handling the music. - Don't bother, we have a radio. 547 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,269 Cool, no problem. 548 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:16,718 I'll be off then. 549 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,437 - Catch you later. - Yeah. 550 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,870 - See you in the bistro? - Yes. 551 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:25,394 Here he is. 552 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:26,436 Look at him. 553 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,597 Bet he got his rocks off! 554 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:32,196 He deserves it. He's a good guy at heart. 555 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,669 Flashing it around? 556 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,474 - Well? - You bastard! 557 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,512 - What? - Bullshitter! 558 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:45,033 Why the insult? 559 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,794 - A coffee? - Piss off, dickhead! 560 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:48,756 OK! 561 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,353 You did it on purpose. 562 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,913 - No, I swear. What's up? - I didn't fuck her! 563 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,479 - What? - Absolutely not. 564 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,591 We strip off, get into bed, three kisses, 565 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,228 next scene I'm in this bistro with you! How come? 566 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,436 It's a time lapse. 567 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:04,675 What's that? 568 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,270 A movie device, a jump in time. 569 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,273 We know you'll make love so we skip it to avoid being crude. 570 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:11,714 Common film practice. 571 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:12,995 No it's not. 572 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,594 - When I rent a tape, I see it all. - That's different. 573 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,751 We can't show you fucking. We'll get an X rating. 574 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,435 - Not a sex fiend like you. - You're the director. 575 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,273 You can cheat your frames and not shoot close-ups. 576 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,512 It's in the can. The audience think you screwed her. 577 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,951 OK. But I know I didn't shoot it or fuck Lucie! 578 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,192 - You fuck her in the story! - Fuck the story! 579 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,430 I want to get my rocks off! 580 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,470 Stop fucking about. We must get back to the key story. 581 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,916 No way, not without a flashback! 582 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,194 A flashback? What for? 583 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,874 - So I can fuck Lucie. - You're obsessed. 584 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,473 Dead right I am! 585 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,791 The only flashback is for me. Sorry. 586 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:59,839 I warn you, if I don't fuck Lucie I'll get sick 587 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,356 and you'll have to look for your keys alone. I'm off. 588 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,956 - You're paying peanuts. - You're not De Niro! 589 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,155 Sorry, mate. 590 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,993 Playing opposite a genius like you is a tough challenge. 591 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,589 You mean I'm lousy? 592 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,035 Not lousy, but you're not... 593 00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:17,713 - Right? - No, he's not... 594 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,192 OK, have your flashback and screw her. 595 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,118 I'm marrying Lucie. 596 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:24,596 Oh yeah? 597 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,352 - Already? - We're in love. 598 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,910 She won't be in love at the end of the film. 599 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,199 Our love will outlive your crap film. 600 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:36,791 - 2 halves. - The same! 601 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,235 When's the flashback? 602 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,312 When it goes blurred. Drink up. 603 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,512 She's gonna love your belly. 604 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,149 It's open! 605 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,558 - What are you doing? - Listen, 606 00:34:55,720 --> 00:34:57,312 you've messed me up. 607 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,199 - You had your sex scene. Happy? - No. 608 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,635 Have fun. You have 5 minutes. 609 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:04,598 Don't overdo it. 610 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,276 - Is your cold better? - No. 611 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,077 Don't stare, it inhibits me. 612 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:13,834 So does the crew. Too many people! 613 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,434 Closed set for our star! 614 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,114 Any unnecessary crew: Out! 615 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:21,269 Better? 616 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:22,714 Beat it! 617 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,349 Kill the lights! 618 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:44,595 I'm coming! 619 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,677 - Can I turn on the lights? - Yes. 620 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:02,829 Let's go. 621 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,468 Let me say goodbye to her. 622 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,837 After an orgasm like that you can't sneak off. 623 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,558 Message received. 624 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,996 I gave you my flashback for your rabbit act. 625 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:16,559 What rabbit act? 626 00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:18,358 You can spin it out. 627 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,159 Consult a sexologist, it's mental. 628 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,311 He'll sort it in 3 sessions. 629 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:25,955 Who is that guy? 630 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,599 - Who? - The guy on the bike. 631 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:28,351 Dunno. 632 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,478 Didn't he go by earlier in an orange jacket? 633 00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:32,755 Dunno. 634 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,717 - Wasn't he outside the bistro too? - Could be. 635 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,115 And he was at the funfair? 636 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,429 - Maybe. - It's him? 637 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:48,790 Who is he? 638 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,474 - My cousin. I'll explain. - Your cousin? 639 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,473 He lost his wife and his job. I hired him as an extra. 640 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:55,914 To cheer him up. 641 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,310 He's appeared 5 times in the film! 642 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,315 An extra only appears once. It will ruin the story. 643 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,879 As there is no story... 644 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,758 If he's in my film again 645 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,388 I'll fire you both! 646 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:08,629 - Get it? - Got it. 647 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,997 Get out! You're a load of trouble! 648 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,877 - I'm a family man. - The family stays home. 649 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,276 Do you see my family in the film? No! 650 00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:32,632 - What now? - Let's find a nursery school. 651 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,473 - Why? - "From the mouths of infants". 652 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,473 They may give us a lead for the keys. 653 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,073 Fucking script! 654 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,750 There's the teacher. Keep her busy, I'll see the kids. 655 00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:51,275 Hello! 656 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,797 Inspector Croutet, hello. 657 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:57,077 - What's going on? - Can I visit the canteen? 658 00:37:57,240 --> 00:37:58,150 But the children? 659 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,993 Don't worry, leave them to my deputy. 660 00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:03,959 - Look after the kids. - Hi, kids. 661 00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:07,435 I have a little problem. 662 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:09,234 I lost my car keys. 663 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,868 I always keep them in my right pocket. 664 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,078 They fell out! 665 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,792 - You think that's possible? - Yes. 666 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:24,316 - I'd have heard them fall. - Or they were stolen. 667 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:28,433 Who by? 668 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:29,749 A thief. 669 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,838 Where should I look? 670 00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:34,593 I don't know. 671 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,558 Look everywhere! OK? 672 00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:40,439 In the houses and the cupboards. 673 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:48,713 I don't understand! 674 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,390 I don't like being sent up! 675 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,357 Who can help me look? 676 00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:00,518 - Get a dog. - A dog? 677 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,480 Will a dog help me find them? 678 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:04,629 What colour dog? 679 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:07,633 Black and white. 680 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,629 Get yourself a dog. 681 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:20,998 - Hello. - A dog, please. 682 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,913 What sort of dog? Big, small? A mongrel? 683 00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,719 A pedigree, long-haired, short-haired, a dribbler? 684 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:28,349 A searcher. 685 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,995 To search what? The ball, the bone, the newspaper? 686 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,229 Slippers? 687 00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:34,153 Keys. 688 00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:35,548 Car keys. 689 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,471 What sort of car? Nationality? 690 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,234 Saloon, convertible? Petrol, diesel? 691 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:42,389 Normal. 692 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:48,833 You need Bingo. 693 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,069 Him? 694 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,350 - He's trained to search for... - Car keys. 695 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:53,919 What you asked for. 696 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,277 - How much is he? - Bingo costs 10800 euros. 697 00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,512 - A fortune. - Try finding cheaper. 698 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,875 How do I know he was trained 699 00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:04,234 to find car keys? 700 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:06,596 Cover your eyes. 701 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,235 Cover your eyes! 702 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,590 Put your paws over your eyes. Paws over eyes! 703 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,876 Cover your eyes, Bingo! 704 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:25,515 He'll do it. 705 00:40:25,720 --> 00:40:26,755 Cover eyes! 706 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:31,277 The dog never obeyed. A sordid question of overtime. 707 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,955 Please assume he did it so we can move on. 708 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:37,796 Alright? 709 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,994 Bingo, you can look now! 710 00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:50,909 Watch this. 711 00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,033 Find the car keys! 712 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,313 Not there. 713 00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,392 Look for the car keys. 714 00:40:58,560 --> 00:40:59,913 You're a blue dog. 715 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:01,831 Search! 716 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:03,599 Where are they? 717 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:06,798 Good boy! 718 00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:08,589 Very good! 719 00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:11,759 See? Not exactly a piece of shit, huh? 720 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:14,431 - Who to? - Doggy Dogs. 721 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,712 Can you hold it till the end of the month? 722 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,711 Sure. No problem. 723 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,238 - There you go! - Thanks. 724 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:25,628 - Bye! - Have a nice day! 725 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,358 Bingo! Come here! 726 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,715 - Put that in the bank now. - Yes, sir. 727 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,233 Pronto. 728 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,472 Daniel, meet Bingo. 729 00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,118 What is this dog? 730 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:42,872 An expert. 731 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,078 He'll find the keys fast. 732 00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:47,356 He'll steal all our scenes. 733 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,557 - Scared of a dog? - I don't care, I'm an actor. 734 00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:53,917 But you don't come across well, you'll disappear next to him. 735 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:55,951 You're a mutt. 736 00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,113 See, he agrees. 737 00:41:58,800 --> 00:41:59,789 Let's try. 738 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,357 Find the keys! 739 00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:06,679 Bring us the keys! 740 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,269 He's good, huh? 741 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,073 Look at him. 742 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,799 - What's he doing? - I don't know. 743 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:30,669 Shit! 744 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:35,915 Whose dog is it? 745 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,156 - Why did he hit me? - He's there. 746 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:41,878 - Ask him. - Fuck off! 747 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:43,792 You knew he'd whop me! 748 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,110 You weren't really hit. There was a time lapse. 749 00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,909 We cut to the gutter and that's make-up. So piss off! 750 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,913 But I'd have suffered if he had. 751 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:54,595 Shit! 752 00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,474 - Is it broken? - You have a bogey. 753 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,954 - Whose dog is it? - Mine. Why? 754 00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:04,673 Leave it. 755 00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,590 He's mine. Got a problem with that? 756 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,029 Did he damage your green jacket? 757 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:12,912 Buy it from Village People? 758 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,594 - You're rash. - Wanna fight? 759 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:16,556 Cool it. 760 00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:18,073 Go on, hit me! 761 00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:20,470 Scared? Lost your balls? 762 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:23,638 We'll cut, then pick me up in the gutter. 763 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:24,994 Painless! 764 00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:26,755 Dickhead! 765 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,838 Asshole! 766 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:30,394 It's a sequence shot! 767 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,592 - You could have told me. - I tried to. 768 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:35,558 Let's see. Fuck! 769 00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:37,915 - A bogey? - No, it's broken. 770 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,516 There. Like it? 771 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,639 - I look terrible. - Like a fighter. 772 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:46,756 It will ruin my close-ups. 773 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:48,558 You're such a ham. 774 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:50,995 - How long do I wear it? - Till the boat. 775 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:54,436 - A boat? Where to? - Wait and see. 776 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,993 - Who's that? - Special effects. Let them in. 777 00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,833 What have you thought up now? 778 00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,833 "My close-ups". He thinks he's Adjani. Dickhead! 779 00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:08,789 Hi there! 780 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:10,996 What is this shit? 781 00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:13,674 - It's you. - I can see that, but why? 782 00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:15,432 It's for the kids. 783 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,757 - The kids? - In movies today 784 00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,037 you must have doubles, to hook the kids. 785 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:25,193 - And to hook the oldies? - Later, on the boat. 786 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,391 The damn boat where I take off my bandage? 787 00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:28,595 Exactly. 788 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:29,829 That bandage is ugly. 789 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:33,276 - He scared me. - What happens when you shave? 790 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:36,432 - When you see your reflection? - I'm prepared. 791 00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,477 Middle-aged spread! 792 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,917 - Cut it out or I'll destroy you. - You can't hit yourself. 793 00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,433 Can't I? Take that on my nose! 794 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,033 Know how much that costs? 795 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:47,713 It's CGI. Costs a bomb! 796 00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,117 - You OK? - Fine. 797 00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:52,956 Broken? Or do I have a bogey? 798 00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,080 Let's see. A bit of both. 799 00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,719 There. 800 00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,354 Sure is ugly! 801 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:01,356 Pitbull, huh? 802 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,671 Let me guess. A third me or a second you. 803 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,315 - Hello. - Fucking script! 804 00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,789 Beating up my double is unforgivable. 805 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:13,756 A time wrap! 806 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:15,513 - No. - A time loop? 807 00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,474 That your dog? 808 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:22,711 Count yourself lucky. 809 00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:26,277 - Think so? - We didn't call the pound. 810 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,636 Call the fucking pound! 811 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,836 - Daniel. - Daniel's had it. 812 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:31,830 Move along. 813 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,993 You promised your film would be good, we just get into fights 814 00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:37,388 over your crap dog. 815 00:45:37,720 --> 00:45:40,518 I'll be straight: It's him or me. 816 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:44,759 It's him. 817 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:49,239 I'm kidding! I can't end the film with a dog. Come on! 818 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:50,913 - Where to? - The shop, to return him. 819 00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:52,593 We didn't use him much. 820 00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,553 Sorry, sir. We don't take goods back. 821 00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:58,320 We can negotiate the price. 822 00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:01,478 If I take him back, 1000 euros for him, no more. 823 00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:03,509 1000 euros? 824 00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:07,116 I paid 10800 an hour ago. Guess how many key rings he found? 825 00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:08,674 23. 826 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:14,192 These dogs aren't in great demand. 827 00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,033 So when we sell one, it's expensive. 828 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:18,872 - Just my luck. - It's normal. 829 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:19,950 Look at Sheila. 830 00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,115 Trained to find disk collectors. 831 00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,271 2 years training! The best! 832 00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,908 Still here, we can't sell her. 833 00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,150 If I can't sell her soon, I'll have to put her down. 834 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,080 I'm kidding. We'll slash the price. But it hurts like fuck. 835 00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:38,756 Look, Ars�ne was trained to sniff out twats. Barks twice at a twat. 836 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,077 - What? - Make it 1500? 837 00:46:47,240 --> 00:46:48,639 No. 1000. 838 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:51,390 Thank you. 839 00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:52,913 Bye, Bingo. 840 00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:57,433 "Bye, Bingo"? You meant: "Sit, Bingo". 841 00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,114 You didn't mean: "Bye, Bingo". 842 00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,949 You're a great dog but the film comes first. 843 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,032 The film? 844 00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:07,952 Is it more important than me? 845 00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:11,078 No, but I started a job and I must finish it. 846 00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:13,151 - Do you mind? - What will happen to me? 847 00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:17,790 Where am I going to go? Not the RSPCA? 848 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:21,430 Do you want them to put me down? You mongrel. 849 00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:25,070 Your film isn't even a film! The putty's lousy! 850 00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,039 You look like a bad copy of Zidane! 851 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,350 You think I look like Zidane? 852 00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,676 A 4th division Zidane. 853 00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:36,116 Who never scores and hates being bald. 854 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,955 - Never lose your coat? - My coat, maybe. Not my friends. 855 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,111 Goodbye, dear dog. 856 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:43,230 Yeah, sure. 857 00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:45,553 Beat it, Orson Welles. 858 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:53,953 You're crying? 859 00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,031 No. Conjunctivitis. 860 00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:58,919 Are you moved by a dog in tears? 861 00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:00,952 - Deeply. - Yes, very. 862 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:02,030 Real tears? 863 00:48:02,240 --> 00:48:03,992 A dog crying? 864 00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:05,953 It all depends. 865 00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:08,236 It depends why. 866 00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:10,311 Of course I'd be moved. 867 00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:13,358 - A plasticine dog? - Not so moved. 868 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,511 No, because it's not... 869 00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:18,558 It's not so alive... 870 00:48:18,720 --> 00:48:20,472 It's superficial. 871 00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:24,156 Plants, dogs and humans move me in descending order, 872 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:25,435 not plasticine. 873 00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,115 - Are you... - I know you, you're... 874 00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,550 Sorry, I'm against you. 875 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,158 - Why? - Ghastly! 876 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,231 - Why? - Ghastly! 877 00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,908 When do we eat in this film? 878 00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,389 At the end, we're half way. 879 00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:43,791 That's 45 minutes for audiences but 6 weeks for us! 880 00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:45,871 I'll never make it. I gotta eat! 881 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:49,191 - Shall we go back to my street? - Yes, with Aunt Josette. 882 00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,316 - Who? - And 4 packets of crisps. 883 00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,391 - What for? - Are you Mac or PC? 884 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:57,157 - Why do you ask that? - Because I shit dialogue. 885 00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,595 When I'm hungry I shit dialogue. 886 00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,149 You're a pain in the ass. 887 00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:06,552 - You win, we'll eat but for 2 mns. - OK, but I choose the restaurant. 888 00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:08,790 OK. Ballsbreaker. 889 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:10,599 I want to eat here. 890 00:49:13,240 --> 00:49:15,356 The production manager will love it! 891 00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,476 No keys, just a wire. 892 00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,112 Where's my credit card? 893 00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:31,479 - Hello. - Can we have lunch? 894 00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:32,868 Sorry, we're full. 895 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:34,598 I'll handle this. Hi, Lolo! 896 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:36,672 - Working here? - Filling in. 897 00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:37,955 Here? 898 00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:39,917 - What'd you like? - Lunch. We have 2 mns. 899 00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:41,308 - Did you book? - No. 900 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:43,596 I can fix you up, but not like that. 901 00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,230 Hands off! 902 00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:50,798 - The menu. - No, you choose. 903 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,952 - Gastronomic? - No, something quick. 904 00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:56,752 - May I? - How about this? 905 00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,150 An excellent choice, sir. 906 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,592 Lightly seared langoustine tails. 907 00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,228 - Duck foie gras with truffles. - Scallops in mussel sauce. 908 00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:06,549 Oxtails with truffles. 909 00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,154 - Your wine. - '64. 910 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,754 - Matured cheese. - Bitter chocolate profiterolles. 911 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,757 Grand Marnier souffl�. 912 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,194 Arabica coffee. 913 00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:20,076 Coffee already? 914 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:21,719 Armagnac 1923. 915 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:23,114 23! 916 00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:28,512 - Don't we eat? - Yes, for 2 mns! 917 00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:35,954 Enjoy your meal. 918 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:44,954 I was starving. 919 00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,074 - Great foie gras. - And the wine! 920 00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:51,878 Enjoying it? 921 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:58,158 - What are you doing? - Having coffee. I'm stuffed. 922 00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:01,036 - Can't finish your meal? - No. 923 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,356 - May I? - Go ahead! 924 00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:10,995 It's on me. 925 00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:12,559 - Really? - I'm kidding. 926 00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:18,759 - Is it OK? - Fine. 927 00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:20,911 The film better do well. 928 00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:29,198 - I've got indigestion. - You made a pig of yourself. 929 00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,157 - I think I'll vomit! - No, you won't. 930 00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:33,788 We've eaten, now for the keys. 931 00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:35,757 - I tell you I'm going to vomit! - No, you're not! 932 00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:39,799 We're in a comedy, vomiting isn't funny. It's crude. 933 00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:41,552 Then find a gag fast. 934 00:51:41,720 --> 00:51:43,551 What sort of gag? 935 00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:45,517 You're the author! Deal with it. 936 00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:48,598 - Can't you keep it down? - No! I've reached the limit. 937 00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:51,115 Hurry up! 938 00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,239 Great gag! 939 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:58,232 Sorry, I adapt. 940 00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:02,956 We need a new development, 941 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,475 otherwise people will get bored. 942 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,437 They're already bored! 943 00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:08,999 - Want some? - No, thanks. 944 00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:12,831 That foie gras was good. 945 00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,594 The Armagnac wasn't '23. A rip off. 946 00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:22,751 Improve your film, see you in Marineland. 947 00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:25,514 OK. Come on! Hurry! 948 00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:37,756 Pedal-boat! Faster! 949 00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:41,951 - We're off to Marineland! - Fucking script! 950 00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,230 Pedal. It's miles away. 951 00:52:57,840 --> 00:52:59,239 I was expecting you. 952 00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,676 I'll go fast. I saw your scene with the dog. 953 00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,392 A disaster. It's obviously plasticine. 954 00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:08,949 Reshoot it, and get it right! 955 00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:12,908 I'll tell you something: After pets, dogs, cats etc, 956 00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:16,117 the animal with the most appeal for kids 957 00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:18,669 is indisputably the dolphin. 958 00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:20,109 I don't mean 959 00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:21,315 just any stuff. 960 00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,789 I mean swimming with a dolphin. 961 00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:27,032 The ultimate kids' fantasy. Hang on to his nose and we're off. 962 00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:29,475 Swimming to dolphin paradise. 963 00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:30,993 Swept away. Fab! 964 00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:34,869 Other animals have a lot of appeal for kids too. 965 00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:36,553 Like elephants. 966 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:40,156 But you gotta hang on to swim with them. 967 00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,356 Grab an elephant's ear. 968 00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:44,998 Not now, please. 969 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:50,437 A kid can't reach both ears, only one or the other. 970 00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:52,670 So swimming with elephants is out. 971 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:54,069 It doesn't work. 972 00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,875 Pandas appeal to kids. 973 00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,759 Problem is: Pandas can't swim. They sink 974 00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:01,075 and never come up. 975 00:54:01,240 --> 00:54:04,118 Tigers are good. Lots of appeal. 976 00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:07,477 Problem is: The scene will last 3 seconds. 977 00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:11,758 Then the tiger will eat you and swim alone, 978 00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:15,754 you won't be in the shot any more. There's also... 979 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,309 the zebra: Is your film black and white or in colour? 980 00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:21,472 - Colour. - Zebras suit black and white films. 981 00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:23,432 There's the giraffe... 982 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,192 What's your format? 983 00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:26,395 Scope. 984 00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,551 You can't frame the head. 985 00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:32,599 You won't see the feet or the head, that's no good. 986 00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,990 Then there's the tape worm. 987 00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:38,516 A good swimmer but very low appeal. 988 00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:42,912 Zero zero zero zero point 4122. 989 00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:47,357 When you compare, the dolphin comes top. 6807... 990 00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:49,590 If you really want 991 00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:51,318 to hook the kids, 992 00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,710 get them living the film... 993 00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:54,710 Don't move. 994 00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:56,638 Is that the idea? 995 00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,149 Just a minute. 996 00:54:58,320 --> 00:54:59,753 Yes? Not now! 997 00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:03,316 The dolphin is the one to go for. 998 00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:06,472 It's dead simple, here's a wet suit. 999 00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,108 Put it on and go out of the window. 1000 00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:12,989 Swim with dolphins and get some great shots. 1001 00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,720 Go with him, fatso, I have things to do. 1002 00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:17,309 Hurry up! 1003 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:18,959 Off you go! 1004 00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:22,715 He's a bore. 1005 00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:24,996 But he's right, we need great shots. 1006 00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:28,231 - I'll jump in. - No! Dive. 1007 00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:30,072 - Do I? - Concentrate. 1008 00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:35,754 A magnificent French dive! 1009 00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,119 Let's replay it! 1010 00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,073 Beautiful penetration, the judges love it. 1011 00:55:43,240 --> 00:55:45,549 The marks are excellent. 1012 00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:44,430 Honestly, was it any good? 1013 00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:45,874 - A nice show? - Fab. 1014 00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:47,519 - With emotion? - Yes. 1015 00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:50,031 Really! Great! 1016 00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,634 - You went for it? - Superb! 1017 00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:54,678 What does he want? 1018 00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:57,038 You're taking the piss? 1019 00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:00,399 Beat it! 1020 00:57:00,720 --> 00:57:02,233 Go to your room! 1021 00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:05,432 - Let's move. - Come on! 1022 00:57:06,720 --> 00:57:09,234 Shit! It's a fucking pain not knowing where we're going! 1023 00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:18,076 Who's he? 1024 00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:19,912 Constantin, the production manager. 1025 00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:21,798 - We're filming. - What's up? 1026 00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:23,188 Big problem. 1027 00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:26,393 We need 500000 euros to finish the film. 1028 00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:28,159 - How come? - How come? 1029 00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,959 It's your first film, you have no experience, 1030 00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:32,917 you get stoned every night, 1031 00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:35,753 you have new ideas every morning. 1032 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,592 That costs a lot. 1033 00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:39,034 Lean on the bank. 1034 00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:41,236 You're mortgaged to the hilt. 1035 00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:44,039 Your house, your salary. 1036 00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:47,158 Sort this out, give me 2 days. 1037 00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:48,589 Alright? 1038 00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,072 You have 2 minutes. 1039 00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:57,354 - What will you do? - I don't know. 1040 00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,073 Shouldn't we stop the film? 1041 00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:01,276 We've started it, we'll see it through. 1042 00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:03,078 We could find the keys now, 1043 00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,037 the credits roll, the end. 1044 00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,919 It wouldn't make sense, no structure. 1045 00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,275 Sure, finding the keys at the end 1046 00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:12,510 makes the film a masterpiece! Of course, I'm an idiot! 1047 00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:13,755 Couldn't your mother... 1048 00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:16,514 Forget her. She has a savings account, 400 euros. 1049 00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,275 - Drive! - It's a blue screen. 1050 00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:21,112 I won't get an Oscar for signalling. 1051 00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:22,235 Drive anyway. 1052 00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,631 In Papillon, where does Dustin Hoffman hide the money? 1053 00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:29,996 - Got any savings? - Forget it, like your mother. 1054 00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:31,919 Got it! 1055 00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:34,116 - A loan? - No, a hold-up. 1056 00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:36,111 A hold-up? Fantastic! 1057 00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:40,034 - Think so? - Sure! 1058 00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,475 Your film needs some action. 1059 00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:45,473 Gunshots, screams, blood and tears! 1060 00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,393 - No, I hate blood. - Think about it. 1061 00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:50,676 Tarantino doesn't film keys. 1062 00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:54,071 You need blood splashing the walls, 1063 00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:55,389 brains on the windows 1064 00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:58,632 - Filming brains is disgusting. - It's fake. 1065 00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:00,438 People will love it. 1066 00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:03,398 I long to do a scene like that. 1067 00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,074 Not scared of being unpopular? 1068 00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:08,754 The baddies always steal the show. 1069 00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:11,798 I don't want violence in my film. 1070 00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:13,837 - The hold-up? - A friendly one. 1071 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:15,592 Friendly?! Fucking script! 1072 00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:18,233 - Yes? - A withdrawal. 1073 00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:20,436 - A big one. - Account number? 1074 00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,989 - No account. - I'm sorry, I don't understand... 1075 00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:24,915 It's a hold-up, bitch. 1076 00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:27,355 We said a friendly one. 1077 00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:28,953 It's a hold-up, please, lady. 1078 00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:33,679 I'm afraid I can't help you. I'll take you to see the manager. 1079 00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:43,953 Usually in a hold-up robbers are masked and armed. 1080 00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,759 - I agree. - Aren't you armed? 1081 00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,871 I may have a penknife. 1082 00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:51,595 - With scissors? - Not good enough. 1083 00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:53,637 Even for a friendly hold-up? 1084 00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:57,396 I'm sorry, but why should I give you 500000 euros 1085 00:59:57,560 --> 00:59:59,949 if I'm not held at gunpoint? 1086 01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:02,680 Are you stubborn? You want us to stress everyone out 1087 01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:04,990 and shoot a hostage every ten minutes? 1088 01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,913 - I didn't say that. - We can do it! We're not dumb. 1089 01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:09,593 Let's do it! 1090 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,672 It's complicated enough. We won't pussyfoot around. 1091 01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,718 I'll show you the hold-up in the script 1092 01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:18,155 and we'll film that if you prefer. 1093 01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:20,914 Here. It's up to you. 1094 01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:22,593 "Laurent and Daniel 1095 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,718 "enter the manager's office. 1096 01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:28,872 "He turns down a friendly hold-up." 1097 01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:29,995 You bet! 1098 01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:33,357 "Daniel immediately shoots Martine coldly in the neck 1099 01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:35,317 "and she drops dead." 1100 01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:37,476 Martine, my secretary? 1101 01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:42,592 Wait, today's Tuesday, I need her for a meeting 1102 01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:44,512 on Thursday, it's vital. 1103 01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:45,635 Go on. 1104 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,633 "As the manager won't back down 1105 01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:51,951 "the gangsters shoot half the customers 1106 01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:55,271 "and sodomize the others." What is this? 1107 01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,749 Go on, there's more. 1108 01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:00,190 "When the cops arrive it's worse, 1109 01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:02,715 "23 policemen are shot down." 1110 01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:05,553 - 3 police vans! - 23! You can't! 1111 01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:08,359 And the police are local, 1112 01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:09,953 I know them all. 1113 01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:13,391 - May I? - Go ahead. 1114 01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:16,434 It's a no. 1115 01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:19,273 Martine and I have a meeting Thursday. 1116 01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:23,035 As for the sodomy, we never call in outsiders 1117 01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:26,272 to screw our clients, that's our job. 1118 01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:28,516 And 23 policemen is a no. 1119 01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:32,434 All these lives saved. I can breathe now. 1120 01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:34,239 - Got a minute? - Yes. 1121 01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:35,389 I'll go to the safe. 1122 01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:37,633 A duck? 1123 01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:39,199 A rabbit? 1124 01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:42,355 Here! 1125 01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:44,397 I added a bit. 1126 01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:46,193 A round million. 1127 01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:49,069 Film-making is expensive. 1128 01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:51,231 Here's your script. Scram! 1129 01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:53,516 Thank you very much. 1130 01:01:54,280 --> 01:01:56,271 - No, thank you! - Thank you. 1131 01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:01,479 What a day! All those lives saved! 1132 01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:03,471 Go left, it's more discreet. 1133 01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:05,198 - Goodbye! - Goodbye! 1134 01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:08,474 Good lads! 1135 01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:11,677 What do you think of friendly hold-ups? 1136 01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:13,990 What do you mean by "friendly"? 1137 01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:16,794 People should work, not steal. 1138 01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:19,554 People must earn their living. 1139 01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:22,553 - Not rob others. - Not even a bank? 1140 01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:25,188 That's irrelevant. 1141 01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:27,351 - What is this? - A friendly one? 1142 01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:29,556 A friendly one doesn't exist. I'm against it. 1143 01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:30,869 Would you pay up? 1144 01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:32,519 - No! - Yes! 1145 01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:34,910 - Yes? - If I was going to be... 1146 01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:37,275 - But they weren't armed. - Really? 1147 01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:39,317 They had a Swiss penknife. 1148 01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:42,631 No way. I wouldn't have paid up. 1149 01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:44,472 But with scissors? 1150 01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:46,517 - Yes, I would. - With scissors? 1151 01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,636 I want to stay alive. 1152 01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:52,556 If I was the bank manager 1153 01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:56,789 I'd wait for them with a grenade in my pocket. 1154 01:02:57,040 --> 01:02:59,270 He doesn't know when they're coming. 1155 01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:02,000 A grenade's always useful in your pocket. 1156 01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:05,835 Did the manager save them from a blood bath? 1157 01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:07,115 We don't know. 1158 01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:11,035 I'm still selling a Mercedes 71 convertible, 1159 01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:13,350 first hand, 6000 kms. 1160 01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:16,116 I'll buy it! 1161 01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:18,675 One million euros! 1162 01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:22,198 Stop getting laid, it's only for the film. 1163 01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:25,070 A cheese shop, wait for me. 1164 01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:27,192 I must buy some for my mum. 1165 01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:30,636 - During the film? - I promised her some cheese. 1166 01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:38,073 What would you like? 1167 01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:40,276 A fine Reblochon. 1168 01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:43,829 - A half or a whole? - Half, for my mum. 1169 01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:46,958 - Yes, she likes a half. - Not too copious. 1170 01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:49,350 - And with it? - A goat's cheese. 1171 01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:51,511 - Goat's cheese... - Which does she like? 1172 01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:52,999 A log. 1173 01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:56,197 A log and a couple of crottins. 1174 01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:57,873 I'll take them. 1175 01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:00,914 Any of that wine of yours? 1176 01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:03,275 They didn't deliver it. 1177 01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,318 Not that one, it will give you heartburn. 1178 01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:08,516 - Alright! - It's a bad time. 1179 01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:10,874 So that's... 1180 01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:12,598 What do I owe you? 1181 01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:18,833 18 euros 40. 1182 01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:26,159 18,40 plus 0,50 makes 20. 1183 01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:28,311 Thanks. Goodbye. 1184 01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:31,272 Little asshole. 1185 01:04:34,320 --> 01:04:35,833 - Saw who it was? - Who? 1186 01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:38,434 - The cheese merchant. - Yes, Depardieu. So what? 1187 01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:40,756 - Not impressed? - I'm impressed 1188 01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:44,310 that you gave a star like Depardieu the part of a cheese merchant. 1189 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:45,879 That impresses me! 1190 01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:50,671 His name's on the poster, cheese merchant or Prime Minister! 1191 01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:53,400 Now we need to get the story going. 1192 01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:54,755 Why? 1193 01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:57,514 - To speed up the script. - Why? 1194 01:04:57,680 --> 01:04:59,318 To stop it being routine. 1195 01:04:59,480 --> 01:05:02,438 Nieztsche said routine is habit plus boredom. 1196 01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:04,352 Oh, shit! Thanks for the dialogue! 1197 01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:07,193 You quote Nieztsche, I just say "why". 1198 01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:08,634 It's all your fucking show. 1199 01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:09,989 Look! 1200 01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:11,833 - Where? - That poster. 1201 01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:14,070 It's for a Mediterranean cruise. 1202 01:05:14,240 --> 01:05:16,390 Are you blind? Read the slogan! 1203 01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:18,750 "Looking for the keys to happiness? Go on a cruise." 1204 01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:20,913 Admit you're a moron! 1205 01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:23,514 "Looking for the keys to happiness?" 1206 01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:26,752 - A clue? - Yes. When does the boat sail? 1207 01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:28,353 Saturday 18th, 15:30. 1208 01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:29,509 10 minutes ago. 1209 01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:30,908 - Fasten your belt. - Why? 1210 01:05:43,760 --> 01:05:44,875 A pane of glass! 1211 01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:50,033 - What now? - We'll find a solution. 1212 01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:51,155 When you know Paris... 1213 01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:54,276 Mind the bike. 1214 01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:55,714 - Hey, it's not... - No. 1215 01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:57,394 It's jammed here. 1216 01:05:57,920 --> 01:05:59,990 - We'll go by the river. - We're there. 1217 01:06:02,920 --> 01:06:04,956 - Careful! - They're going swimming. 1218 01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:08,390 - The ride's over. - No! 1219 01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:09,515 We're crossing. 1220 01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:15,875 You're mental! 1221 01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:17,395 Who cares? It's only 3D. 1222 01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:21,512 - Coffee? We don't have time. - Pity. 1223 01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:25,430 - You, you, you! - Cut it out! 1224 01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:28,956 3 points. Plus the red lights makes 23. 1225 01:06:31,480 --> 01:06:33,072 We're really stuck. 1226 01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:34,156 No, look. 1227 01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:35,355 Not that! 1228 01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:39,720 See that? A kestrel falcon. 1229 01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:41,711 The falco cininculus. 1230 01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:43,950 - A lovely bird. - I don't give a shit. 1231 01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:45,909 Handbrake. 1232 01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:48,153 We're parked! 1233 01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:53,835 - I'll go. - No, I will. 1234 01:06:58,120 --> 01:06:59,314 Was it the phone? 1235 01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:02,313 Not now, I have to catch a boat. 1236 01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:03,799 The phone? 1237 01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:06,599 Right. Call me back. Bye. 1238 01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:09,359 A dickhead! 1239 01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:11,317 Did the phone go ding-dong? 1240 01:07:12,600 --> 01:07:13,555 Why? 1241 01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:17,110 The mixer's wife was having a baby, 1242 01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:19,999 he left a trainee with one sound effect. 1243 01:07:20,240 --> 01:07:22,117 One sound for everything? 1244 01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:24,068 No kidding! 1245 01:07:25,680 --> 01:07:27,159 That's appalling. 1246 01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:28,908 I don't believe it. 1247 01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:31,749 - You're not helping me. - It's dead funny! 1248 01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:36,832 We'll miss the boat. 1249 01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:41,231 - I love this scene! - Are we going or not? 1250 01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:43,152 Wait, let's try one last thing. 1251 01:07:44,520 --> 01:07:47,193 - You're crummy! - Who cares? It goes ding-dong! 1252 01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:48,998 No, it doesn't! Hurry up! 1253 01:07:50,960 --> 01:07:53,474 - Too late. - No, wait... 1254 01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:54,910 Come on! 1255 01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:58,032 What a lousy idea! 1256 01:07:58,200 --> 01:07:59,599 A dumb idea! 1257 01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:03,396 - Shit! - We'll find the keys! 1258 01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:05,790 - Fuck the keys! - It's a clue! 1259 01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:07,598 - Who did you write with? - No one. 1260 01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:08,715 You're sure? 1261 01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:11,155 No artificial aids? 1262 01:08:11,400 --> 01:08:13,231 I didn't smoke anything. 1263 01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:14,515 We're catching up! 1264 01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:17,797 Straighten out. Smoking is destructive. 1265 01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:19,837 - Drop it! - We're 400 metres high. 1266 01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,070 400 metres, OK! 1267 01:08:23,720 --> 01:08:26,712 - Why am I in this film? - Because I chose you! 1268 01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:29,348 - Did you ask anyone else? - No way! 1269 01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:31,272 The character is called Daniel, 1270 01:08:31,440 --> 01:08:34,637 he's just like you, I didn't ask all Paris. 1271 01:08:34,800 --> 01:08:36,358 Chill out, relax. 1272 01:08:38,480 --> 01:08:40,311 I was shit scared! 1273 01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:43,359 Don't move. 1274 01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:47,349 Why did you do that? 1275 01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:50,671 - I said on the boat, remember? - Right. 1276 01:08:50,920 --> 01:08:53,912 Let's enjoy this holiday atmosphere 1277 01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:55,433 and have some fun. 1278 01:08:57,280 --> 01:08:58,918 Some hope! 1279 01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:03,197 Maybe there's one who's possible, on your left. 1280 01:09:05,040 --> 01:09:06,268 What do we do now? 1281 01:09:06,440 --> 01:09:10,319 Take it easy and wait for a lead for the keys. 1282 01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:12,799 A walk, a holiday... 1283 01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:14,758 - How does this undo? - Tourismo. 1284 01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:17,992 Cool, huh? Chilling out. 1285 01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,434 What are those bubbles? 1286 01:09:23,480 --> 01:09:24,799 It's not me. 1287 01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:29,557 We've found ourselves two farters. 1288 01:09:41,440 --> 01:09:43,431 An appalling dive! 1289 01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:49,591 A genital bellyflop in slomo. 1290 01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:55,959 The marks are as disastrous 1291 01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:57,075 as the dive. 1292 01:09:57,240 --> 01:10:00,596 But the audience loves him, by God! 1293 01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:11,472 - Can we talk? - Sure. 1294 01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:13,278 - In private. - No problem. 1295 01:10:13,440 --> 01:10:17,194 Paulette, my pet, go and feed the seagulls. 1296 01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:21,199 Got a lead for the keys? 1297 01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:23,669 - No, but you found a job. - What job? 1298 01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:27,753 - American Gigolo Part 2. - I'm not a gigolo. 1299 01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:31,276 Where did all those rings come from? 1300 01:10:31,840 --> 01:10:34,354 They're gifts. I didn't hustle. 1301 01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:36,397 What did you give in exchange? 1302 01:10:36,560 --> 01:10:38,915 Nothing, some quality time. 1303 01:10:39,120 --> 01:10:42,112 We're all just good friends. 1304 01:10:42,280 --> 01:10:44,350 Genuine communication. 1305 01:10:44,520 --> 01:10:49,116 How do guys of our age communicate with grannies? 1306 01:10:57,760 --> 01:11:00,797 I don't know where to look any more. 1307 01:11:02,480 --> 01:11:06,155 - Take advice from the old hermit. - The old hermit? 1308 01:11:07,480 --> 01:11:11,268 A problem with sound. She said she knows a hermit who lives in a cave 1309 01:11:11,440 --> 01:11:14,113 and who knows the ultimate truth. If we can find him, 1310 01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:16,236 he'll know where my keys are. 1311 01:11:16,440 --> 01:11:19,830 - Where is he? - I'll draw you a map. 1312 01:11:20,080 --> 01:11:21,399 I'm not looking. 1313 01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:27,912 In the mountains. 1314 01:11:28,080 --> 01:11:29,115 A cave... 1315 01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:32,272 2 seconds ago we were sunbathing on deck! 1316 01:11:32,440 --> 01:11:34,476 Now we're scaling goddam cliffs. 1317 01:11:34,640 --> 01:11:38,599 - Take big steps. - I'm doing my best. 1318 01:11:41,600 --> 01:11:43,238 Turn right? 1319 01:11:43,400 --> 01:11:44,958 - Right? - I don't know. 1320 01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:48,155 Turn right. 1321 01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:53,831 Why must we go all this way? 1322 01:11:54,120 --> 01:11:56,190 Run out of time lapses? 1323 01:11:57,640 --> 01:12:00,757 - Beautiful scenery. - Fuck it. 1324 01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:10,998 Come clean... 1325 01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:14,790 We're lost and we die now in terrible pain? 1326 01:12:14,960 --> 01:12:16,075 No, it's a happy end. 1327 01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:20,239 - So we find this cave? - Sure. We've climbed up, 1328 01:12:20,400 --> 01:12:23,836 we have a great map, we're nearly there. 1329 01:12:24,600 --> 01:12:27,637 It's night, my knees hurt and I'm starving. 1330 01:12:27,800 --> 01:12:31,429 - What's next? - A camp fire, wine and sausages? 1331 01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:34,398 Swear the sausages won't be blended with the wine. 1332 01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:37,597 - And the music? - Maxime Le Forestier. 1333 01:12:37,760 --> 01:12:39,671 Better than nothing. 1334 01:12:39,840 --> 01:12:41,432 - And Lucie? - Other girls. 1335 01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:43,158 - Nice ones? - And Pascal. 1336 01:12:43,320 --> 01:12:44,833 We don't have a chance. 1337 01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:48,394 When a key goes astray 1338 01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:51,475 It loses its way 1339 01:12:52,240 --> 01:12:54,515 It takes off like a rocket 1340 01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:57,636 Leaving my pocket 1341 01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:00,834 What a crazy tease 1342 01:13:01,720 --> 01:13:04,154 Giving cars keys 1343 01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:07,389 What a crazy tease 1344 01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:09,673 Giving cars keys 1345 01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:14,598 It has a good home 1346 01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:16,149 Of its own... 1347 01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:18,078 - What's that? - Maxime's puff. 1348 01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:19,998 - Don't touch it. - Why not? 1349 01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:23,118 Last time I smoked it I had nightmares. 1350 01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:32,275 Goodbye! 1351 01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:35,073 Still no cave. 1352 01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:39,879 I feel queasy. 1353 01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:44,995 - Your breath stinks. - Who's talking! 1354 01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:46,998 When you smoke. 1355 01:13:47,440 --> 01:13:49,715 Bedtime, as tomorrow... the keys! 1356 01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:56,713 Let's go to sleep! 1357 01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:00,279 Where is that joker? 1358 01:14:01,640 --> 01:14:03,517 Roof. Windows. Floors. 1359 01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:05,119 Piss off, bitch! 1360 01:14:09,240 --> 01:14:12,073 Tomatoes, peppers, courgettes... What else? 1361 01:14:12,560 --> 01:14:13,834 A big turkey! 1362 01:14:14,160 --> 01:14:16,071 It's time to award 1363 01:14:16,240 --> 01:14:19,391 the Gold Palm. I'm opening the envelope... 1364 01:14:19,760 --> 01:14:24,311 The gong for the worst artistic choice goes to... 1365 01:14:24,480 --> 01:14:27,040 Daniel Russo for Car Keys. 1366 01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:31,869 Stop it! 1367 01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:33,632 But you've won! 1368 01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:34,869 Fuck off! 1369 01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:43,596 Windows. Tiles. Roof. 1370 01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:45,351 You're dead. 1371 01:14:47,920 --> 01:14:49,353 Here's Laurent Baffie! 1372 01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:52,512 - Hello, Laurent. - Hello, Thierry. 1373 01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:55,990 You're here to talk about your film, Car Keys. 1374 01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:57,036 Right. 1375 01:14:57,200 --> 01:15:00,237 I know the pitch: A guy loses his car keys 1376 01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:01,549 and looks for them. 1377 01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:08,033 With crap like that 1378 01:15:08,200 --> 01:15:09,713 you're in trouble. 1379 01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:14,833 Baffie! 1380 01:15:15,240 --> 01:15:18,789 What is this film of yours? 1381 01:15:18,960 --> 01:15:21,713 Is it cinema? What's the story? 1382 01:15:22,720 --> 01:15:25,792 - I lost my car keys, sir. - Where were they? 1383 01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:29,231 In the end they were in my other pocket, sir. 1384 01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:32,119 Is that the story? 1385 01:15:32,280 --> 01:15:34,748 He can't find his key? He's taking the piss! 1386 01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:40,231 You never like anything. I got zero for my short film. 1387 01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:41,674 Favouritism. 1388 01:15:41,840 --> 01:15:43,592 It's an underground movie. 1389 01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:48,475 Trying to be trendy? "Underground"...talk French! 1390 01:15:50,080 --> 01:15:52,640 Car Keys. My ass! 1391 01:15:59,400 --> 01:16:01,118 I had nightmares. 1392 01:16:01,760 --> 01:16:02,875 Me too. 1393 01:16:05,160 --> 01:16:08,038 - They gave me a hard time. - I've got something. 1394 01:16:11,880 --> 01:16:15,077 A little gastropod. A friend. 1395 01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:16,509 Have they gone? 1396 01:16:17,320 --> 01:16:18,753 - To the cave? - Right. 1397 01:16:19,480 --> 01:16:21,914 - Your jacket isn't continuity. - I'm cold. 1398 01:16:22,560 --> 01:16:25,028 - We're shooting. - I know we are. 1399 01:16:25,240 --> 01:16:26,878 I'm sorry but... 1400 01:16:27,640 --> 01:16:29,756 - Bad continuity. - Fuck continuity! 1401 01:16:30,560 --> 01:16:33,393 I spot continuity errors in a film. 1402 01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:34,675 Gimme a break! 1403 01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:37,758 All that matters is a funny line. 1404 01:16:37,920 --> 01:16:40,718 If the line is funny it's funny. 1405 01:16:42,960 --> 01:16:45,520 Let's go to the cave. 1406 01:16:47,680 --> 01:16:49,830 "Hermit's cave". Here we are. 1407 01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:51,433 I'd given up hope. 1408 01:16:52,200 --> 01:16:53,110 Coming? 1409 01:16:53,280 --> 01:16:55,350 No, that stuff scares me. I'll wait. 1410 01:17:01,840 --> 01:17:05,628 Master, I lost my car keys and someone told me you know 1411 01:17:05,800 --> 01:17:07,233 the ultimate truth. 1412 01:17:18,320 --> 01:17:19,116 Well... 1413 01:17:20,800 --> 01:17:25,112 Sometimes we search very far 1414 01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:28,192 for something within a hand's reach. 1415 01:17:33,840 --> 01:17:35,114 And my keys? 1416 01:17:35,560 --> 01:17:37,790 - That's all. - That's all? 1417 01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:39,308 That's all. 1418 01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:43,397 - What do I owe you? - The usual fee. 1419 01:17:44,960 --> 01:17:46,916 Money? Not money. 1420 01:17:48,120 --> 01:17:51,510 - Not money? - A jug of goat's milk. 1421 01:17:51,920 --> 01:17:54,354 - A jug? - A jug of goat's milk. 1422 01:17:54,520 --> 01:17:55,635 Goat's milk... 1423 01:17:55,920 --> 01:17:57,831 I'll be right back. 1424 01:18:03,640 --> 01:18:05,551 A jug of goat's milk... 1425 01:18:13,800 --> 01:18:16,314 - Any goat's milk? - A pack or a jug? 1426 01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:36,438 I'll leave it here and take my jacket. Bye! 1427 01:18:38,400 --> 01:18:40,436 - How much? - Give me 500. 1428 01:18:40,600 --> 01:18:43,831 - How much for the glasses? - 300. 1429 01:18:44,480 --> 01:18:46,516 - 25? - Done! 1430 01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:49,956 - Got 25? - Yes. 1431 01:18:53,160 --> 01:18:55,151 - No, I have 15. - 15? 1432 01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:57,199 Alright. 1433 01:19:03,680 --> 01:19:05,511 - I could have paid 10. - 5! 1434 01:19:06,920 --> 01:19:10,708 He said something incredible: "Sometimes we search very far 1435 01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:13,758 "for something within a hand's reach." 1436 01:19:16,320 --> 01:19:17,958 No message. 1437 01:19:19,680 --> 01:19:21,079 Wait... 1438 01:19:25,080 --> 01:19:27,435 Something within a hand... 1439 01:19:27,720 --> 01:19:30,154 - No. - Or maybe... 1440 01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:34,758 "Hand we search within reach sometimes far..." 1441 01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:41,114 "Look for the dick tomorrow." 1442 01:19:48,080 --> 01:19:50,674 Feel like crying, Daniel? 1443 01:19:50,840 --> 01:19:52,034 Go ahead. 1444 01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,719 What did the hermit mean? 1445 01:19:58,880 --> 01:20:02,555 The philosophy is in the person's mind. 1446 01:20:02,720 --> 01:20:05,473 It's the person who thinks, 1447 01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:08,200 and who can always search deeper. 1448 01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:12,434 But the philosophy behind those words 1449 01:20:12,640 --> 01:20:15,950 means, I think, that it's better 1450 01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:20,308 to simplify things. Not to complicate life. 1451 01:20:20,600 --> 01:20:21,828 You follow me? 1452 01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:24,673 Happiness is here but we go looking for it 1453 01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:28,515 as we don't recognize it. I don't know... 1454 01:20:28,720 --> 01:20:30,517 I can't explain. 1455 01:20:30,680 --> 01:20:32,477 "...within a hand's reach"? 1456 01:20:32,640 --> 01:20:35,632 What's it for? I don't like being filmed. 1457 01:20:35,840 --> 01:20:39,469 It means we complicate life but it could be simple. 1458 01:20:39,640 --> 01:20:41,710 - See it again. - Let me go! 1459 01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:44,110 - It's a great film. - Let me go! 1460 01:20:44,280 --> 01:20:48,239 Just to please me. If you don't call me I'll call you. 1461 01:20:48,560 --> 01:20:52,872 "Sometimes we search very far..." It must mean something. 1462 01:20:54,800 --> 01:20:58,395 SOLUTION: THE KEYS ARE IN HIS LEFT POCKET! 1463 01:20:59,480 --> 01:21:00,390 I don't know. 1464 01:21:00,640 --> 01:21:02,596 What a brain-teaser! 1465 01:21:03,800 --> 01:21:05,791 What did he mean by that? 1466 01:21:08,480 --> 01:21:10,198 - No! - The keys! 1467 01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:14,836 That's why I couldn't find them! They were in my left pocket, 1468 01:21:15,000 --> 01:21:16,353 instead of my right! 1469 01:21:16,520 --> 01:21:19,318 "We search very far for something within a hand's reach." 1470 01:21:19,480 --> 01:21:21,994 That's it! The keys were within a hand's reach! 1471 01:21:22,160 --> 01:21:24,720 You led people on for 90 mns with that, it's appalling! 1472 01:21:24,880 --> 01:21:27,189 Not at all, it's a real philosophical message! 1473 01:21:27,360 --> 01:21:29,920 Stop, you're covering yourself with shit. 1474 01:21:30,080 --> 01:21:32,833 I found my keys. All's well that ends well. 1475 01:21:34,200 --> 01:21:35,349 The phone! 1476 01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:40,634 Cringe! 1477 01:21:44,240 --> 01:21:47,630 THE END 1478 01:21:53,600 --> 01:21:54,828 Zero! 1479 01:22:05,320 --> 01:22:06,958 It's for you, Daniel. 1480 01:22:15,400 --> 01:22:17,709 We'll be banned for under 16s! 1481 01:22:17,880 --> 01:22:19,359 He's at it! 1482 01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:20,430 Genevi�ve! 1483 01:22:23,520 --> 01:22:25,795 - Maud! - My Laurent! 1484 01:22:27,520 --> 01:22:28,475 How are you? 1485 01:22:28,640 --> 01:22:31,712 - You bit my ear. - Rapture! 1486 01:22:34,480 --> 01:22:35,435 It's Bingo! 1487 01:22:38,440 --> 01:22:39,634 The hermit! 1488 01:22:39,800 --> 01:22:41,199 Wonderful! 1489 01:22:41,720 --> 01:22:44,393 - I'm with two friends, OK? - Fine. 1490 01:22:46,360 --> 01:22:48,510 Carmelites? Hello. 1491 01:22:52,200 --> 01:22:54,998 - Doggy Dogs! - I brought dog biscuits. 1492 01:22:55,160 --> 01:22:56,275 That's nice! 1493 01:22:56,880 --> 01:22:58,029 - There's pussy! - Wicked! 1494 01:23:03,360 --> 01:23:05,749 - I brought some money. - Good idea. 1495 01:23:10,880 --> 01:23:11,790 The cheese merchant! 1496 01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:14,269 Some cheeses as I like you. 1497 01:23:14,680 --> 01:23:16,432 - How nice! - Little asshole. 1498 01:23:21,040 --> 01:23:22,109 How are you? 1499 01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:26,873 - Congratulations on your keys! - Some sangria? 1500 01:23:27,040 --> 01:23:28,029 Everyone's here! 1501 01:23:32,440 --> 01:23:34,237 What about my running gag? 1502 01:23:34,480 --> 01:23:35,993 A peach melba. 1503 01:23:39,240 --> 01:23:39,956 Dickhead. 1504 01:23:47,240 --> 01:23:48,673 - Who is it? - Danielle. 1505 01:23:48,840 --> 01:23:50,239 - Danielle who? - Gilbert. 1506 01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:51,310 Gilbert who? 1507 01:24:05,120 --> 01:24:07,076 23% last take. 1508 01:24:07,320 --> 01:24:08,548 23! 1509 01:24:14,720 --> 01:24:17,154 40% take 6. 1510 01:24:17,320 --> 01:24:19,436 No, 7! 40% take 7. 1511 01:24:19,600 --> 01:24:21,511 40% take 7. 1512 01:24:23,640 --> 01:24:27,758 If you want your keys back you must... 1513 01:24:27,920 --> 01:24:29,399 You gotta pay up. 1514 01:24:31,040 --> 01:24:32,837 Pay up, mate! 1515 01:24:33,600 --> 01:24:35,272 Mr Willy, please, 1516 01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:38,789 can you put: "To Laurent, best wishes"? 1517 01:24:41,920 --> 01:24:43,319 Who do you think you are? 1518 01:24:43,760 --> 01:24:46,513 The keys aren't in the apartment. 1519 01:24:46,680 --> 01:24:48,591 Don't make me laugh. 1520 01:24:48,880 --> 01:24:51,075 Calm down, when did you... 1521 01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:55,519 Calm down, when did you see them last? 1522 01:24:55,680 --> 01:24:58,478 You spat! Let's go again! 1523 01:24:59,080 --> 01:25:00,308 Rolling. 1524 01:25:03,120 --> 01:25:06,078 No car keys here, that's for sure. 1525 01:25:09,600 --> 01:25:11,158 Have you got savings? 1526 01:25:11,320 --> 01:25:14,551 I'm alone in the world, 1527 01:25:15,640 --> 01:25:17,073 I have no one. 1528 01:25:18,080 --> 01:25:20,150 Could you suck off in a wood? 1529 01:25:24,280 --> 01:25:26,032 It's for the film! 1530 01:25:26,920 --> 01:25:29,150 Who did you write it with? 1531 01:25:34,720 --> 01:25:37,757 If a helicopter swoops down over us 1532 01:25:37,920 --> 01:25:40,753 we'll grab it and get out of this nightmare. 1533 01:25:40,960 --> 01:25:44,236 Why should a helicopter swoop down over us? 1534 01:25:44,600 --> 01:25:46,318 - We can see your ass. - Fuck off! 1535 01:25:46,480 --> 01:25:48,948 - Act it! - I am acting! 1536 01:25:49,560 --> 01:25:52,597 - You wrote it like this... - Keep going. 1537 01:25:53,080 --> 01:25:55,355 It's like you. Shit! 1538 01:25:55,560 --> 01:25:57,357 A catch? 1539 01:25:57,520 --> 01:26:00,398 - What catch? - Tell me something... 1540 01:26:00,880 --> 01:26:02,677 You wrote this film. 1541 01:26:02,840 --> 01:26:04,751 There must be a fab babe to fuck. 1542 01:26:04,920 --> 01:26:06,512 It's a love story. 1543 01:26:06,680 --> 01:26:09,717 I mean a gorgeous girl... No, that's earlier. 1544 01:26:09,880 --> 01:26:12,553 - You said it before. - You say it again. 1545 01:26:12,720 --> 01:26:14,790 No, you already said it. 1546 01:26:14,960 --> 01:26:17,235 - You say it again. - Now? 1547 01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:19,914 - Yes, but you say it after. - Now! 1548 01:26:20,080 --> 01:26:21,798 - Cut! - Keep going. 1549 01:26:21,960 --> 01:26:24,030 - Go on. - You say "Daniel". 1550 01:26:24,600 --> 01:26:26,238 - You say it before. - Go on! 1551 01:26:29,080 --> 01:26:30,832 - I'll do it again. - OK, cut. 107357