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1
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:06,048
- Hey, guys. I got some bad news.
RACHEL: What?
2
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:11,554
That's no way to sell newspapers.
Try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
3
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:16,017
No. Monica's restaurant got a horrible
review in the Post.
4
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,309
ALL:
Oh, no!
5
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:22,606
I didn't want her to see it, so I ran around
and bought all the copies I could find.
6
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:26,569
Man, this is bad.
And I've had my share of bad reviews.
7
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,404
I still remember my first good one:
8
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:31,991
"Everything else in this production
of Our Town was simply terrible.
9
00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:35,161
Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
10
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,206
- Hey.
ALL: Hey.
11
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,542
Oh, my God!
Look at all the newspapers.
12
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,670
It must be a good review. Is it great?
13
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,630
Um...
14
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,010
Oh, dear God.
15
00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:55,139
But the good news is, no one
in a two-block radius will ever know.
16
00:00:56,891 --> 00:01:00,227
- What about the rest of Manhattan?
- Yeah, they all know.
17
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,439
- Oh, my God, this is horrible.
- I'm sorry.
18
00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:05,024
I'm so humiliated.
19
00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:08,778
But you know what they say,
there is no such thing as bad press.
20
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:14,408
You don't think that, um, "the chef's
mahi-mahi was awful-awful" is bad press?
21
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,370
I didn't write it.
22
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:22,458
- God, is he right? Am I awful?
ALL: Oh, no!
23
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,210
Hey, Monica, listen to me, okay?
24
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:27,713
I'm not saying this because I'm your friend,
I say it because it's true.
25
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,216
Your food is abysmal!
26
00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:17,972
- Ross?
- What? What?
27
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:21,892
- I am freaking out!
- Are you?
28
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,645
My due date is in one week!
29
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,731
- What are you doing up?
- That is seven days.
30
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:31,068
Look, I had a lot of water.
Can we do this after--?
31
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,154
No, no, no, no, Ross!
32
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,990
Please, come on.
We do not have any big stuff we need.
33
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:39,451
We don't have a changing table.
We do not have a crib.
34
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,664
- We do not have a diaper service.
- Funny you should mention diapers.
35
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,751
- I'm serious.
- Look. There's nothing to worry about.
36
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:51,463
We have plenty of time.
There's a baby furniture store on West 10th.
37
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,048
Tomorrow, we'll go there...
38
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:57,928
-...and we'll get everything we need. Okay?
- Okay. Thank you. That's great.
39
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:01,182
Wait, where on West 10th?
There's a really cute shoe store--
40
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,101
Okay. If, uh-- If you're gonna do this...
41
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,061
...then I'm gonna go do that, so...
42
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:09,899
- Wait, Ross! I'm sorry, one more thing.
- Yeah.
43
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:14,195
Um, our situation, you know, um,
what we mean to each other...
44
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:19,825
...and, I mean, we're having this baby
together and we live together...
45
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,578
Isn't that--? Isn't that weird?
46
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,127
Well, uh...
47
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:33,088
- I'm just kidding. You can go pee. Ha, ha.
- Oh--!
48
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:40,137
Hey, I can't remember.
Did we say we were gonna meet here...
49
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,972
-...or at the movie?
- At the movies--
50
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:46,018
- I'll see you there.
- Joey. Now that you're here...?
51
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,188
Sure, I can hang out
till I have to meet you.
52
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:53,817
- How come you're not going?
- I've got a job interview to get ready for.
53
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:58,948
- I thought you already have a job.
- And people say you don't pay attention.
54
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:02,076
This is a much better job.
It's vice president of the company...
55
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:03,911
...that does data reconfiguration...
56
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,580
...and statistical factoring
and for other companies.
57
00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:13,420
- Wow. How do you know how to do that?
- That's what I do now.
58
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,924
- Joey? Come taste this.
JOEY: What is it?
59
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:20,552
Remember the guy that gave me
a bad review? Well...
60
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,264
...I'm getting my revenge.
61
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,183
You cooked him?
62
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:30,229
No. He teaches a course on food criticism
at The New School.
63
00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:33,816
Before we go to the movies, I want
to make him try my bouillabaisse again.
64
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:37,194
Ugh, I can't wait to read the front
page tomorrow:
65
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:42,199
"Restaurant reviewer admits:
'I was wrong about Monica."'
66
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,535
The front page?
67
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:47,329
You really do live in your own
little world, don't you?
68
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,171
Do you want these delivered,
Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
69
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,716
- Oh, no, no, no. No, no.
ROSS: Heh. No, no.
70
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,468
- We're not married.
- We are having a baby together...
71
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,054
...but we're not involved.
72
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:08,517
I mean, uh, we-- We were seeing
each other a while ago...
73
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:12,646
...but then we were just friends,
and then there was one drunken night...
74
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:18,527
Or, yes, stranger,
we'd like this delivered, please.
75
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:22,865
- Why don't you fill out this address card?
- Oh, okay.
76
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,452
- I noticed you picked out a lot of dinosaurs.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah.
77
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:29,204
That's one of the reasons
why we are not a couple.
78
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:33,208
I chose those. I'm a paleontologist.
79
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,753
Really? That is so cool.
80
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:40,674
Oh, don't get too worked up over it.
It sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not.
81
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:44,303
Oh, no. I'm fascinated by paleontology.
82
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:48,599
- Have you read the Walter Alvarez book?
- Yeah, heh, I teach it in class.
83
00:05:48,766 --> 00:05:53,645
Oh, my God. Standing at a cash register,
I'm holding a credit card, and I'm bored.
84
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:59,109
I love your neighborhood. There's a great
gym around the corner from your building.
85
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:02,154
- That's my gym.
- I could tell you work out.
86
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:12,831
A paleontologist who works out.
You're like Indiana Jones.
87
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,962
I am like Indiana Jones.
88
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:26,887
Hi, Pheebs.
89
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,473
Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go?
90
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,309
It was great!
We got everything we needed.
91
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:35,979
Oh, and Ross almost got
something that wasn't on the list.
92
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,856
Ahem, a whore.
93
00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,903
- What?
- We were paying for our stuff...
94
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,240
...and this sales woman
just started flirting with him.
95
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,658
Can you believe that?
96
00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:51,036
- Did she know you two weren't married?
- Yeah.
97
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:57,584
Oh, my God. Well, the idea--
A woman flirting with a single man?
98
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,380
- We must alert the church elders.
- No.
99
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:05,300
You don't understand.
You didn't see how brazen she was.
100
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,679
- Sounds like you're a little jealous.
- No, I'm not.
101
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:13,225
I just think it's wrong.
I mean, here I am, about to pop...
102
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:17,688
...and he's out picking up
some shopgirl at Sluts-R-Us?
103
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,400
Is that a real place?
104
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:24,153
Are they hiring?
105
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:28,449
- Hey, Phoebe. Fatty.
- Wha--?
106
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,368
Hey, Chandler, why so fancy?
107
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,620
Well, I got a job interview.
Big deal, too.
108
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:37,332
It's more money. I'd be doing data
reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
109
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:42,546
- I think I know someone who does that.
- Me. I do that.
110
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,382
So seriously, do I look okay? I'm nervous.
111
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:47,593
Oh, yeah. You-- Really, you look great.
112
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,429
You know, just don't get your hopes up.
113
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,057
- Why not?
- Well, the interview.
114
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,809
- What about it?
- You know.
115
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,645
You don't make a very good
first impression.
116
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:02,608
- What?
- Oh, you don't know.
117
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,403
- Are you serious?
- Yes. When I first met you, you were like:
118
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,738
[BABBLING]
119
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,156
I was like:
120
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,991
Shh!
121
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,577
[CHUCKLES]
122
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,537
What is it that I do?
123
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:19,249
It's just, like, you're trying too hard,
always making jokes.
124
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,127
You just-- You come off a little needy.
125
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,588
Did you like me when we first met?
126
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,841
Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to you.
127
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,302
But I am gonna run away from you.
128
00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:38,227
Hi. I'm Monica Geller,
chef at Allessandro's.
129
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,479
Still?
130
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,731
I think the things you said were unfair...
131
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:46,276
...and I would like you to give
my bouillabaisse another chance.
132
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:49,404
I don't see any reason
why I'd do that to myself again.
133
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:52,282
Either eat it or be in it.
134
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,493
SP0on?
135
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,620
[CLEARS THROAT]
136
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,292
- So, what do you think?
- I'm torn...
137
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:06,296
...between my integrity
and my desire to avoid a beating.
138
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:11,426
But I must be honest.
Your soup is abysmal.
139
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:19,518
Thattagirll Eh? We should get out of here,
there's a new class coming in.
140
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:22,354
Welcome to Introduction to Cooking.
Before we start...
141
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:26,316
...can anyone tell me the difference
between hollandaise and béarnaise sauce?
142
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,071
- I can.
- Okay, go ahead.
143
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,825
Well, um, they both have a egg yolk
and butter base.
144
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:39,913
But a béarnaise, um, has shallots,
chervil, and most importantly, tarragon.
145
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,874
- Ha, ha, very good. What's your name?
- Monica.
146
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:47,004
- Monica, you go to the head of the class!
- Okay!
147
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,384
All this stuff takes up a lot of room.
148
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:56,179
Hey, how, uh, serious are you
about keeping Ben in your life?
149
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,807
My son? Pretty serious.
150
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,144
[KNOCKING ON DQOR]
151
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,026
Oh, hey, Katie.
What are you doing here?
152
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:12,029
The delivery went out
and I realized they forgot this.
153
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:16,575
Ah, it must have been obvious, since it
was the only thing left in your store.
154
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,035
[LAUGHS]
155
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:24,124
Listen, to be honest, home deliveries
aren't really part of my job description.
156
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,709
Oh.
157
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:31,340
Oh, um, I actually came here
to ask you out.
158
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:35,927
Oh. Wow. Uh, yeah, that sounds great.
159
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:42,351
I'm just gonna put this back in my
pocket and pretend that didn't happen.
160
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,312
Uh, I'm free now.
You want to grab some coffee--?
161
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,732
- Sure.
- Horny bitch.
162
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:56,114
No, you're a horny bitch!
No, you're a horny bitch!
163
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,201
No, you're a horny bitch!
164
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,914
So you guys go, have a really good time.
165
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:07,668
I'm just gonna grab my coat.
And, uh, my whip.
166
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,962
You know, because of Indiana Jones.
167
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,422
[LAUGHS]
168
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:18,011
Not because I'm into S&M.
169
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,722
I'm not into anything weird,
you know? Heh.
170
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,308
Just normal sex.
171
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,106
So I'm gonna grab my coat.
172
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:39,241
So you had a good day, huh?
Big commission, picked up a daddy.
173
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,285
Are you okay with this?
174
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,455
Oh, yeah. Yeah, please.
You guys have fun.
175
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,666
- Okay. Heh.
- Yeah.
176
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,000
It was nice to see you.
177
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:52,212
Oh, and it was great to see you too.
And you look fantastic.
178
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,632
- Ah, heh.
- Although you missed a button.
179
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,801
Oh, actually, I, um...
180
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,095
Oh, okay, I see
what you're doing there.
181
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,893
I can't even believe this.
I really come off that badly?
182
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,564
Ugh, it's okay. You calm down
after a while...
183
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:14,234
...and then people can see
how sweet and wonderful you are.
184
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:18,155
Good. Because I'm sure this
interview's gonna last a couple of weeks.
185
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:22,659
All right, don't freak out, okay?
I will help you.
186
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:26,538
- How long before you have to leave?
- An hour.
187
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,374
- I can't help you.
- Phoebe--
188
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:34,963
We'll do our best. I'm the interviewer
and I'm meeting you for the first time.
189
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:39,259
- Okay.
- Hi. Come on in. I'm Regina Phalanges.
190
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:42,262
- Chandler Bing.
- Oh, Bing.
191
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,266
- What an unusual name.
- Well, you should meet my Uncle Bada.
192
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,066
I'll let myself out.
193
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,072
H93'-
194
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,409
Your alfredo's dry.
Did you use your cheese?
195
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:09,790
When you say "use," do you mean
"eat as a pre-cooking snack"?
196
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:13,668
- And the cream?
- Cheese makes me thirsty.
197
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:19,049
- Okay. Let's move on.
- All right.
198
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:24,012
Oh. Something smells good
over at Monica's station.
199
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:29,059
My God! This is absolutely amazing!
You've never made this before?
200
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:31,561
Oh, no. I don't know anything
about cooking.
201
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:37,484
I had to ask what it was called
when the water makes those bubbles.
202
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,986
Wow. Hats off to the chef.
203
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,198
I'm sorry, your mouth was full.
I didn't hear what you said.
204
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,450
- Hats off to who now?
- The chef!
205
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,953
Heh, that's right!
206
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:53,208
I think you'll find if I work here
that I don't micromanage.
207
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,460
I don't shy away from delegating.
208
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:59,548
Mm-hm. That's good to know. But let's
stop focusing on what you don't do...
209
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,591
...and focus on what you do do.
210
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,806
What I do do...
211
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:13,436
...is manage to, uh,
create an atmosphere of support...
212
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,230
...for the people working with me.
213
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:18,066
I see. Nice sidestep on the "do do" thing.
214
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:21,987
- Hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
- Oh, you gotta go!
215
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,906
- Okay, don't worry. You're ready.
- Really?
216
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:28,869
Absolutely! Just fight all your
natural instincts, and you'll be great.
217
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,915
Ah, Monica, my star student.
218
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,792
Heh. You called me that before...
219
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,546
...so I took the liberty of
fashioning a star out of foil.
220
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:43,008
Now, no pressure. If you like my
cookies, you give me the star.
221
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:44,968
[CHUCKLES]
222
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,722
Mm. Mm-mm-mm.
223
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:51,349
Wow, a star!
224
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:55,729
I know you all hate me,
and I'm sorry, but I don't care.
225
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,524
- Okay, Joey, you're up next.
- Yeah.
226
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:05,113
Oh, my God! This is amazing!
227
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,240
You get an A.
228
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:11,995
I got an A? In school?
Hey, I'm a dork!
229
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,582
Joey, I'm so proud of you.
230
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,919
- I think you should give him your star.
- Excuse me?
231
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,256
- He doesn't even know what he's doing.
- We're all beginners.
232
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,635
- Nobody knows what they're doing.
- I do. I'm a professional chef!
233
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,011
[ALL GASP]
234
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:31,139
Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.
235
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:34,225
What are you doing
taking Introduction to Cooking?
236
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,102
Yeah!
237
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,650
I'm sorry. It's just that, um,
I cook at this restaurant, Allessandrds...
238
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,777
...and, um, I just got
a really bad review.
239
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,988
- Oh, Allessandro's? I love that place!
- You do?
240
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:50,241
Yes, you're an excellent chef.
As a person you're a little--
241
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:54,329
- Oh, totally crazy, but you liked the food?
- Ha, ha. Very much.
242
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:58,416
Okay, then. I don't stink.
I'm a good chef! Okay.
243
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:01,628
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I don't want to go. I'm having fun.
244
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:04,381
Actually, did either of you
pay for this class?
245
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:07,217
Hey, if my friend says
it's time to go, it's time to go!
246
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,853
Also, I was the point person
on my company's transition...
247
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,731
...from the KL5 to GR6 systems.
248
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:26,319
- You must have had your hands full.
- That I did. That I did.
249
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,572
So let's talk a little bit
about your duties.
250
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,121
My duties?
251
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:40,917
All right.
252
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:44,337
You'll be heading a whole division,
so you'll have a lot of duties.
253
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,886
- I see.
- But there'll be 30 people under you...
254
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,514
...so you can dump
a certain amount on them.
255
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,647
- Good to know.
- We could go into detail--
256
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,858
No, don't, I beg of you.
257
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:08,903
All right, then. We'll have a definite
answer for you on Monday.
258
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:13,324
But I can say with some
confidence, you'll fit in well here.
259
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,536
- Really?
- Absolutely.
260
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:20,707
- You can relax. You did great.
- I gotta say, thank you.
261
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,711
I was really nervous. I'm told I come on
too strongly, too many jokes.
262
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,964
And then it was really hard
to side step that "duty" thing.
263
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,843
Duties?
264
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,888
Doodies?
265
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,807
Poo?
266
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,561
Poo?
267
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:47,567
Oh, my God. This doesn't count. Okay?
The interview was over.
268
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:51,529
That was the real Chandler Bing.
This is some crazy guy in the hall.
269
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:55,241
Call security! There's a crazy guy
out in the hall!
270
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,161
Poo?
271
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,997
I'll look forward to your call.
272
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,130
_H6Y-
_H6Y-
273
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,424
- You're back from your date.
- How are you?
274
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:16,346
I'm fine. But that's not important.
What's important is how was she?
275
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,724
Uh, it was fun. We just had coffee.
276
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:24,521
Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh, coffee,
a little rub-rub-rub under the table?
277
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,399
Heh, what's going on?
Do you not like Katie?
278
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:31,027
No. No, she was nice.
279
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:33,905
I mean, she was a little slutty,
but who isn't?
280
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,074
Well, I liked her.
281
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:41,162
Of course you did. You'd date a gorilla
if it called you Indiana Jones.
282
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:45,416
Did you get a fresh batch
of pregnancy hormones today?
283
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,921
No. It's just that-- Katie bothered me.
284
00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:51,422
Why? What was wrong with her?
285
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:56,636
Ugh, there was nothing wrong with her.
All right? She was perfectly lovely.
286
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,556
- Okay. So, what's the matter?
- I don't want you to date her.
287
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:04,435
Heh, what? Why? What, are you jealous?
288
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:08,606
Yes. And not because
I want you to go out with me.
289
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,109
Because I don't want you
to go out with anybody.
290
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:16,406
I know it's a terrible thing to even think this
and it's inappropriate...
291
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:21,161
...but I want you to be at my constant
beck and call, 24 hours a day.
292
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,582
I'm very sorry, but that is
just the way that I feel.
293
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,504
- Okay.
- What?
294
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:35,466
I won't date. I'll, uh...
295
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,761
I'll be here with you all the time.
296
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:41,973
Really?
297
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,727
But I'm being so unreasonable.
298
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:52,734
True, but you're allowed to be
unreasonable. You're having our baby.
299
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:57,363
Oh...
300
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:01,034
Oh, Ross, thank you. Thank you.
301
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,578
[BOTH slc3l-l]
302
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,873
You feel better?
303
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:11,211
No, not really. You're pressing
the baby into my bladder...
304
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,713
...and now I have to pee. Sorry.
305
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,006
- Okay.
- Rash?
306
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:18,635
- Yeah?
- Just one thing. Um...
307
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:25,266
We live together. You're having our
baby. I'm not gonna see anybody else.
308
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:28,895
Are you sure you don't want
something more?
309
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:36,069
Wow. I don't know, maybe--
310
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,738
Oh, Rach,
I was just messing around. Heh.
311
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:45,328
- Like you did when I had to pee?
- Oh! Ha! I knew that.
312
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:47,664
I knew that!
I was just messing with you too!
313
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:54,170
Okay. Because for a minute
you seemed...
314
00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:57,298
- No, no, no, no. No! It's just-- Ha!
-...like you actually...
315
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,133
That's just because
I'm such a good messer!
316
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,510
Ah! Ah, heh.
317
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,595
[BOTH LAUGHING]
318
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,059
- Rash?
- Yeah?
319
00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,352
- The bathroom?
- Right.
320
00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:17,652
I had a great time. I learned how to bake,
ate great food.
321
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:22,323
The first A I've gotten since 7th grade
and I didn't have to sleep with the teacher.
322
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:26,828
- Oh, look. Acting for Beginners.
- Yeah.
323
00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:28,663
Wanna feel good about yourself?
324
00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:30,832
- What the hell!
- Okay.
325
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,376
All right, let's start with some basics.
326
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:39,299
Can anybody tell me what the difference
between upstage and downstage is?
327
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,182
Yeah, this was a stupid idea.
328
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:54,188
[English - US - SDH]
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