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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,296 --> 00:00:05,016 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:05,017 --> 00:00:08,252 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,253 --> 00:00:11,923 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:14,691 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,692 --> 00:00:18,196 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,197 --> 00:00:21,733 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,734 --> 00:00:23,267 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,268 --> 00:00:24,843 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,844 --> 00:00:30,209 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:30,210 --> 00:00:33,710 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com - 11 00:00:36,073 --> 00:00:38,264 Ugh! This sucks, Mom. 12 00:00:38,265 --> 00:00:40,888 We really have to spend the whole day cleaning out the garage? 13 00:00:40,889 --> 00:00:42,078 Yeah, come on, Lois. 14 00:00:42,079 --> 00:00:44,881 You know I have plans today to go see Pervert Hamlet. 15 00:00:44,882 --> 00:00:45,914 To be... 16 00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,501 with this skull sexually, 17 00:00:48,502 --> 00:00:50,052 or not to be... 18 00:00:50,053 --> 00:00:52,515 with this skull sexually. 19 00:00:52,516 --> 00:00:54,390 That is the question... 20 00:00:54,391 --> 00:00:58,318 I answered when I was with this skull sexually 21 00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,397 a little while ago. 22 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,634 Huh. All these spray paint cans are empty. 23 00:01:04,635 --> 00:01:06,903 What? Really? 24 00:01:06,904 --> 00:01:08,938 (LAUGHING): H-How could such a thing 25 00:01:08,939 --> 00:01:10,942 have come to pass? 26 00:01:13,076 --> 00:01:14,944 Screw this. Quick, before your mother gets back, 27 00:01:14,945 --> 00:01:16,245 everything in the garbage. 28 00:01:16,246 --> 00:01:17,748 We're throwing all this stuff out. 29 00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,450 Wait. You're throwing away Stewie's Big Wheel? 30 00:01:25,451 --> 00:01:27,119 Relax. It's not even his. 31 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,624 I took it from a front lawn after a rain storm. 32 00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:33,426 (CAN RATTLING) 33 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,615 I thought they'd never leave, Factory Red. 34 00:01:40,499 --> 00:01:42,610 So, I guess Thanos got the Mind Stone. 35 00:01:42,611 --> 00:01:44,047 Wow. So now he's got all of 'em. 36 00:01:44,048 --> 00:01:46,172 - I guess so. - What does that mean for us? 37 00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:47,811 I have no idea. 38 00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:50,498 I knew it was gonna be us. 39 00:01:51,887 --> 00:01:55,457 Oh, my God. There's a hot woman over at the bar. 40 00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:58,092 You know, I never forget the back of a head. 41 00:01:58,093 --> 00:02:00,795 I don't think we've met. I'm Glenn Quagmire. 42 00:02:00,796 --> 00:02:02,731 I'm sure that kind of thing works great 43 00:02:02,732 --> 00:02:05,267 for the younger crowd, but I'm 44. 44 00:02:05,268 --> 00:02:07,735 44? Oh-ho, why am I trying so hard? 45 00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:09,404 Come on, let's get out of here. 46 00:02:09,405 --> 00:02:12,643 Look, I'm not some bimbo who falls for tired pickup lines. 47 00:02:14,144 --> 00:02:15,911 Wow. That was painful. 48 00:02:15,912 --> 00:02:18,913 Like that time I passed a kidney Stone Phillips. 49 00:02:18,914 --> 00:02:20,414 (GROANING): Oh! 50 00:02:20,415 --> 00:02:22,084 Aah! Aah! 51 00:02:22,085 --> 00:02:23,285 (SPLASHING) 52 00:02:23,286 --> 00:02:25,923 KIDNEY STONE PHILLIPS: Or was it... murder? 53 00:02:29,324 --> 00:02:31,259 - Hey, Doug. - Hey, Stewie. 54 00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:33,162 Taking the Big Wheel out for a spin? 55 00:02:33,163 --> 00:02:34,429 Yep. Where are you headed? 56 00:02:34,430 --> 00:02:36,597 Oh, I was just gonna drive through some puddles 57 00:02:36,598 --> 00:02:38,299 and see how long my tracks stay wet. 58 00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:41,269 The record is seven sidewalk squares, by yours truly. 59 00:02:41,270 --> 00:02:42,937 (LAUGHING): Allegedly. 60 00:02:42,938 --> 00:02:44,942 (LAUGHING): Okay, get out of here, you nut. 61 00:02:47,943 --> 00:02:50,346 What the deuce? Where is it? 62 00:02:58,187 --> 00:03:01,190 (SIGHS) Boy, I tell ya, no better way to start your day 63 00:03:01,191 --> 00:03:03,191 than a morning dump in a neighbor's yard. 64 00:03:03,192 --> 00:03:04,692 QUAGMIRE: Come on, Brian! 65 00:03:04,693 --> 00:03:07,863 It was a soft steamer, almost impossible to pick up. 66 00:03:07,864 --> 00:03:09,798 Brian, have you seen my Big Wheel? 67 00:03:09,799 --> 00:03:11,199 I can't find it anywhere! 68 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,501 What? No. Did you look...? 69 00:03:12,502 --> 00:03:13,869 Oh, wait a minute. 70 00:03:13,870 --> 00:03:15,971 Peter threw out a bunch of stuff from the garage yesterday. 71 00:03:15,972 --> 00:03:17,471 Maybe it was in there. 72 00:03:17,472 --> 00:03:21,144 Threw it out? But today is our trash pick up day! 73 00:03:22,878 --> 00:03:24,534 (GASPS) We're too late! 74 00:03:24,535 --> 00:03:26,048 I've got to get that Big Wheel back. 75 00:03:26,049 --> 00:03:27,882 Will you drive me to the town dump? 76 00:03:27,883 --> 00:03:30,552 Really? Can't we just maybe buy you a new one? 77 00:03:30,553 --> 00:03:32,387 No, Brian. It has to be that Big Wheel. 78 00:03:32,388 --> 00:03:34,388 It's very special to me. 79 00:03:34,389 --> 00:03:36,191 I lost my V-card on that thing. 80 00:03:36,192 --> 00:03:37,692 You what? 81 00:03:37,693 --> 00:03:40,561 Yep, went over a speed bump really fast and broke my hymen. 82 00:03:40,562 --> 00:03:42,030 Stewie, you don't have a hymen. 83 00:03:42,031 --> 00:03:44,066 - Yeah, not anymore. - No, you're a boy. 84 00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:46,668 I have to correct you there, Brian. I'm a man. 85 00:03:46,669 --> 00:03:48,336 'Cause, you know... broken hymen. 86 00:03:48,337 --> 00:03:50,172 Boys don't have hymens! 87 00:03:50,173 --> 00:03:52,840 Okay, then I may have just ripped my taint. 88 00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,077 Either way, I love that bike! 89 00:04:00,048 --> 00:04:01,350 Hi. Can you help us? 90 00:04:01,351 --> 00:04:03,184 We're trying to locate a lost Big Wh... 91 00:04:03,185 --> 00:04:04,720 - (INSECTS BUZZING) - My God, 92 00:04:04,721 --> 00:04:06,722 there's just so... 93 00:04:06,723 --> 00:04:08,924 much... garbage. 94 00:04:08,925 --> 00:04:12,261 (MOANING) 95 00:04:12,262 --> 00:04:14,395 Yes, we are in search of a Big Wheel 96 00:04:14,396 --> 00:04:17,032 that was erroneously discarded and collected today. 97 00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:20,701 Oh, then it probably came in with the morning load. 98 00:04:20,702 --> 00:04:23,071 Sorry. That term always makes me blush. 99 00:04:23,072 --> 00:04:26,275 But if it just came in, that's bad news. 100 00:04:26,276 --> 00:04:28,710 Usually the newest, top layer of trash 101 00:04:28,711 --> 00:04:30,781 just blows right into the ocean. 102 00:04:34,951 --> 00:04:37,953 Yeah, I'm afraid your Big Wheel may be gones for good. 103 00:04:37,954 --> 00:04:40,289 Dear God, this is horrible! 104 00:04:40,290 --> 00:04:42,391 I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind! 105 00:04:43,558 --> 00:04:46,962 Phew. Ooh, something smells good in this box. 106 00:04:46,963 --> 00:04:49,600 I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind! 107 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,138 Damn it. Monica's not responding to any of my texts. 108 00:04:57,139 --> 00:04:59,640 You're still trying to bang that 44-year-old? 109 00:04:59,641 --> 00:05:01,143 - What are you sending her? - Mostly porn. 110 00:05:01,144 --> 00:05:02,477 Just shots of rods. 111 00:05:02,478 --> 00:05:04,746 All angles. Up, down, left, right. 112 00:05:04,747 --> 00:05:07,749 Lois, maybe you could help me ask out this woman I met. 113 00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:09,326 She's close to your age. 114 00:05:09,327 --> 00:05:11,152 But she won't respond to any of my texts. 115 00:05:11,153 --> 00:05:12,487 Oh, well, that's easy. 116 00:05:12,488 --> 00:05:15,324 Just ask her if she's all caught up on This Is Us. 117 00:05:16,826 --> 00:05:17,992 (PHONE VIBRATES) 118 00:05:17,993 --> 00:05:20,996 She says, "I'm one behind, so no spoilers. 119 00:05:20,997 --> 00:05:24,633 Hysterical laughing face, hysterical laughing face." 120 00:05:24,634 --> 00:05:26,167 How-how is that funny? 121 00:05:26,168 --> 00:05:27,602 It's not, but you're in. 122 00:05:27,603 --> 00:05:30,004 Great. This is exactly the stuff I need to know. 123 00:05:30,005 --> 00:05:33,174 Lois, will you teach me the ways of the middle-aged woman? 124 00:05:33,175 --> 00:05:35,477 All right. I'm a sucker for romance. 125 00:05:35,478 --> 00:05:38,313 Thanks, Lois. This could open up a whole new world for me. 126 00:05:38,314 --> 00:05:40,448 Like one of those kids who gets a device 127 00:05:40,449 --> 00:05:42,952 that allows them to hear for the first time. 128 00:05:43,985 --> 00:05:47,289 - Billy, can you hear? - Yes! 129 00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:50,303 Amazing! This is amazing. 130 00:05:50,304 --> 00:05:52,027 Your mom and I are going to get a divorce. 131 00:05:52,028 --> 00:05:53,494 I'm in love with someone else, 132 00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:56,299 and I didn't want to say it with the silly hands. 133 00:06:01,065 --> 00:06:03,003 Brian, I've been doing research on my Big Wheel. 134 00:06:03,004 --> 00:06:04,705 If it ended up in the ocean, 135 00:06:04,706 --> 00:06:07,174 it most likely has traveled to Garbage Island. 136 00:06:07,175 --> 00:06:08,876 What's Garbage Island? 137 00:06:08,877 --> 00:06:11,713 The other name for the North Atlantic Garbage Patch, 138 00:06:11,714 --> 00:06:13,381 an enormous cluster of man-made debris 139 00:06:13,382 --> 00:06:15,350 floating in the middle of the ocean. 140 00:06:15,351 --> 00:06:17,318 This is terrible. We got to raise awareness, 141 00:06:17,319 --> 00:06:19,186 - let people know about it. - I agree. 142 00:06:19,187 --> 00:06:21,619 It's like a giant garbage whirlpool. 143 00:06:23,326 --> 00:06:24,603 Brian? 144 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,496 You heard me. 145 00:06:27,497 --> 00:06:29,864 Anyway, I'm heading there to find my Big Wheel. 146 00:06:29,865 --> 00:06:31,165 Perhaps you'll come with me. 147 00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:32,734 Boating to an island of garbage? 148 00:06:32,735 --> 00:06:35,035 I'm in. Maybe Peter will come, too. 149 00:06:35,036 --> 00:06:37,172 Hey, Peter, want to go on a boat ride? 150 00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:40,708 Oh, uh, I can't be in stories for a couple of episodes. 151 00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:43,045 (WHISPERING): I'm real-life pregnant. 152 00:06:44,247 --> 00:06:46,080 Oh, my God. I had no idea. 153 00:06:46,081 --> 00:06:47,349 (HIGH-PITCHED): I know! 154 00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,920 Anyway, Mama's got to get off her feet. 155 00:06:57,259 --> 00:07:00,595 All right, time to retrieve my Big Wheel from Garbage Island. 156 00:07:00,596 --> 00:07:02,763 Let's do it. 157 00:07:02,764 --> 00:07:05,032 Hey, how'd you get the money to rent this boat anyway? 158 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:07,370 Oh, I got a part-time job at Target. 159 00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:15,109 Okay, technically, I work at the weird, in-store Pizza Hut. 160 00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:17,044 ANNOUNCER: The Target In-Store Pizza Hut. 161 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:20,916 Feed it to your fat kid while you buy off-brand tennis shoes. 162 00:07:24,553 --> 00:07:26,955 Now, Glenn, I'm gonna help you get into the mind 163 00:07:26,956 --> 00:07:28,390 of a middle-aged woman. 164 00:07:28,391 --> 00:07:31,393 STEP ONE: we all go frigging nuts over Yankee Candles, 165 00:07:31,394 --> 00:07:34,563 so to help you learn all the flavors, I made a little quiz. 166 00:07:34,564 --> 00:07:36,965 I'm gonna give you a name, and you tell me 167 00:07:36,966 --> 00:07:39,734 if it's the name of a Yankee Candle or a porn star. 168 00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:41,970 - Okay. - Black Coconut. 169 00:07:41,971 --> 00:07:43,237 Porn star? 170 00:07:43,238 --> 00:07:46,073 No, that's a candle. Amber Gold. 171 00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,576 - Candle? - That is a candle. 172 00:07:48,577 --> 00:07:50,578 April Showers. 173 00:07:50,579 --> 00:07:52,580 Um... both? 174 00:07:52,581 --> 00:07:56,751 Very good. I tried to trick you there, but you got it. Both. 175 00:07:56,752 --> 00:07:58,419 Okay, okay, I'm writing this all down. 176 00:07:58,420 --> 00:08:01,489 But, Lois, Monica agreed to have dinner with me tomorrow. 177 00:08:01,490 --> 00:08:03,924 - That's great! - I suppose. 178 00:08:03,925 --> 00:08:06,294 But I don't think I can pull it off by myself. 179 00:08:06,295 --> 00:08:07,828 Will you come and just be nearby 180 00:08:07,829 --> 00:08:09,830 to give me tips and help me get through it? 181 00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:12,100 Fine, but I'll have to rearrange my schedule. 182 00:08:12,101 --> 00:08:14,335 Friday nights are when Peter and I do edibles 183 00:08:14,336 --> 00:08:16,005 and go to the aquarium. 184 00:08:19,442 --> 00:08:21,442 This is awesome. 185 00:08:21,443 --> 00:08:23,845 Peter, I'm freaking out. 186 00:08:23,846 --> 00:08:26,649 Yeah, don't-don't... don't ruin it for me. 187 00:08:36,458 --> 00:08:39,960 Okay, I spy something blue. 188 00:08:39,961 --> 00:08:42,663 Uh... the ocean? 189 00:08:42,664 --> 00:08:44,132 Nope. 190 00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:45,466 The sky? 191 00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:47,134 Hey, you got it in two, bud. 192 00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,302 That ties the record. 193 00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:49,503 Stewie, I'm starting to wonder 194 00:08:49,504 --> 00:08:51,639 if we didn't think this all the way through. 195 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:52,974 No, it's fine. 196 00:08:52,975 --> 00:08:55,161 It'll all be worth it once we get to Garbage Island. 197 00:08:56,211 --> 00:08:58,146 Not a lot of wind today. 198 00:08:58,147 --> 00:08:59,714 No. 199 00:08:59,715 --> 00:09:01,483 Hey, what causes wind? 200 00:09:01,484 --> 00:09:03,718 Well, if my reading material has taught me anything, 201 00:09:03,719 --> 00:09:06,156 it's just a cloud with lips. 202 00:09:08,224 --> 00:09:10,225 Blustery... 203 00:09:10,226 --> 00:09:12,027 is a good word. 204 00:09:12,028 --> 00:09:13,494 Uh-huh. 205 00:09:13,495 --> 00:09:16,196 Mm... Moana. 206 00:09:16,899 --> 00:09:19,500 Mm. 207 00:09:20,243 --> 00:09:21,908 I never saw Moana. 208 00:09:22,837 --> 00:09:26,277 You never saw Moana? 209 00:09:38,854 --> 00:09:40,423 (PHONE VIBRATES) 210 00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:53,268 Your blowout looks nice. 211 00:09:53,269 --> 00:09:54,702 Oh, thanks. 212 00:09:54,703 --> 00:09:58,205 So, um, I noticed a yoga mat in the back of your car. 213 00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,777 - How often do you do yoga? - (PHONE VIBRATES) 214 00:10:13,755 --> 00:10:15,389 - Is everything all right? - Hmm? 215 00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:16,725 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. 216 00:10:16,726 --> 00:10:19,561 My, um... my-my dad locked himself out of his car. 217 00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:21,562 Oh, sorry. Do you need to help him? 218 00:10:21,563 --> 00:10:23,431 Um, no, uh, no. He, um, he broke, uh... 219 00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:24,798 broke the window with his foot. 220 00:10:24,799 --> 00:10:27,067 High heel. My dad's a woman now. 221 00:10:27,068 --> 00:10:29,605 - Oh. - (PHONE VIBRATES) 222 00:10:36,578 --> 00:10:38,245 (CHUCKLES) You're lucky we came here. 223 00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:39,980 I almost suggested Mickey D's. 224 00:10:39,981 --> 00:10:42,617 (LAUGHING): Oh, my God. 225 00:10:42,618 --> 00:10:43,984 That's so informal. 226 00:10:43,985 --> 00:10:45,653 Are you talking about McDonald's? 227 00:10:45,654 --> 00:10:47,287 - (CHUCKLES): Yeah, yeah! - (PHONE VIBRATES) 228 00:10:47,288 --> 00:10:49,490 Another thing I was just thinking about is... 229 00:10:49,491 --> 00:10:51,426 "AMBER Alert, white Honda Accord, 230 00:10:51,427 --> 00:10:53,260 license plate..." Uh, uh, I mean, 231 00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:56,096 Pinterest sure has some neat pictures of sinks. 232 00:10:56,097 --> 00:10:57,666 Doesn't it? 233 00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:59,834 Listen, what if we just bail on dinner 234 00:10:59,835 --> 00:11:01,635 and head back to my place? 235 00:11:01,636 --> 00:11:02,838 Great! I'm in. 236 00:11:08,510 --> 00:11:10,698 Wait! You have to pay for the bread. 237 00:11:10,699 --> 00:11:11,908 Hey! 238 00:11:12,814 --> 00:11:15,317 You have to pay for the bread! 239 00:11:17,186 --> 00:11:18,853 You have to pay for the bread! 240 00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:21,188 You have to pay for the bread! 241 00:11:21,189 --> 00:11:22,456 The bread! 242 00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:24,993 (CRYING): You have to pay 243 00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:26,661 for the bread! 244 00:11:26,662 --> 00:11:29,699 (CRYING) 245 00:11:33,369 --> 00:11:35,036 (CREAKING) 246 00:11:35,037 --> 00:11:36,370 (GRUNTING) 247 00:11:36,371 --> 00:11:38,307 Moana? 248 00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:45,048 Oh, my God. Brian. Look! 249 00:11:49,217 --> 00:11:50,851 We made it! 250 00:11:50,852 --> 00:11:52,986 We made it to Garbage Island! 251 00:11:52,987 --> 00:11:55,223 My God, I don't believe it. 252 00:11:55,224 --> 00:11:57,691 Whoa, look at all the packaging from Mickey D's. 253 00:11:57,692 --> 00:11:59,694 What? Oh, my God, I've never heard that. 254 00:11:59,695 --> 00:12:02,162 "Mickey D's." That is just great. 255 00:12:02,163 --> 00:12:04,364 Anyway, let's start looking for my Big Wheel. 256 00:12:04,365 --> 00:12:07,000 Hey, check it out, a VCR just sitting here. 257 00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:09,037 I'm taking this sucker home. 258 00:12:09,038 --> 00:12:10,039 (GRUNTS) 259 00:12:10,706 --> 00:12:11,841 (GASPS) 260 00:12:15,376 --> 00:12:17,959 - Oh, crap. - Brian, you idiot. 261 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,103 Now how the hell are we supposed to get back to land? 262 00:12:20,104 --> 00:12:21,790 We're both going to die. 263 00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:25,164 Oh, look, a message in a bottle is washing up. 264 00:12:25,165 --> 00:12:26,755 Maybe this'll help. 265 00:12:27,856 --> 00:12:29,758 PETER: DEAR ENGLAND: Enclosed, 266 00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:33,427 please find one bottle fart in exchange for Russell Brand. 267 00:12:33,428 --> 00:12:35,864 We feel this is appropriate compensation. 268 00:12:35,865 --> 00:12:38,099 Yours, et cetera, America. 269 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,934 - (FLATULENCE) - (GROANING) 270 00:12:47,876 --> 00:12:50,254 Damn it, Brian! How could you sink our boat? 271 00:12:50,255 --> 00:12:51,543 We're going to die! 272 00:12:51,544 --> 00:12:53,104 MAN: You guys need any help? 273 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,044 - Aah! - Aah! Who the hell are you? 274 00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:56,754 Name's Taylor. 'Sup? 275 00:12:56,755 --> 00:12:57,989 How the hell did you get here? 276 00:12:57,990 --> 00:13:00,812 Oh, I, uh... I-I fell off a booze cruise. 277 00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:03,355 - You what? - Yep, washed up here. 278 00:13:03,356 --> 00:13:05,060 Matter of fact, we all did. 279 00:13:08,129 --> 00:13:10,431 How are you all planning to get back home? 280 00:13:10,432 --> 00:13:13,190 Get back home? Why would we want to do that? 281 00:13:13,191 --> 00:13:15,916 Yeah, we've got everything we need here. 282 00:13:15,917 --> 00:13:19,107 There's tons of free, half-eaten food that washes up. 283 00:13:19,108 --> 00:13:21,744 And we just bang each other all day. 284 00:13:21,745 --> 00:13:23,379 That, uh... 285 00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:25,195 that doesn't sound terrible. 286 00:13:25,196 --> 00:13:28,250 Hey, so, we've been stuck out here for over 20 years. 287 00:13:28,251 --> 00:13:30,119 Can you catch us up on all the important things 288 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,288 that we've missed? 289 00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:38,126 So, no way! 290 00:13:38,127 --> 00:13:40,462 Kylie Jenner and Tyga are no longer together? 291 00:13:40,463 --> 00:13:41,963 Splitsville, my friend. 292 00:13:41,964 --> 00:13:44,232 How did Robert Kardashian die? 293 00:13:44,233 --> 00:13:46,401 - Guilt cancer. - From what? 294 00:13:46,402 --> 00:13:47,904 Oh, boy. 295 00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:55,627 So people thought the dancing Judge Itos were funny? 296 00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:56,628 For a while, yes. 297 00:13:56,629 --> 00:13:58,196 Is Leno still doing it? 298 00:13:58,197 --> 00:13:59,797 No, he's not hosting anymore. 299 00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,867 Oh, so Conan got The Tonight Show? 300 00:14:01,868 --> 00:14:03,537 - (SIGHS) - Oh, come o... 301 00:14:08,709 --> 00:14:11,143 A-And so what about Craig Kilborn? Is he still on? 302 00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:12,476 I'm actually right here. 303 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,618 Oh, right. Hey, Craig. 304 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:22,387 Oh, hi, Glenn. 305 00:14:22,388 --> 00:14:23,989 I haven't seen you in a while. 306 00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:25,556 H-How are things with Monica? 307 00:14:25,557 --> 00:14:26,725 Who? 308 00:14:26,726 --> 00:14:29,393 Monica, y-your hot date from the other night. 309 00:14:29,394 --> 00:14:31,062 Oh, yeah. I plowed her. Thanks again. 310 00:14:31,063 --> 00:14:33,231 But-but I thought she was the one. 311 00:14:33,232 --> 00:14:34,499 Yeah, no, what I realized is 312 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,067 that all those texts you sent me, 313 00:14:36,068 --> 00:14:37,402 they're like my bible now. 314 00:14:37,403 --> 00:14:40,004 I just keep using these same tips on different women. 315 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,406 I owe you, Lois. 316 00:14:41,407 --> 00:14:44,576 You've opened up a whole world of middle-aged legs to me. 317 00:14:44,577 --> 00:14:46,244 (HUMMING) 318 00:14:46,245 --> 00:14:49,715 Oh, my God. Quagmire's terrorizing middle-aged women, 319 00:14:49,716 --> 00:14:51,682 and I'm responsible for it. 320 00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,746 I've created a monster. 321 00:14:58,191 --> 00:15:01,093 Oh, no! My Luna Bar for women. 322 00:15:01,094 --> 00:15:03,230 (HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING) 323 00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,869 ♪ ♪ 324 00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:15,706 Please call the DWP. 325 00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,276 I'm stuck in here. 326 00:15:17,277 --> 00:15:19,279 ♪ ♪ 327 00:15:21,780 --> 00:15:24,615 (SEABIRD SQUAWKS IN DISTANCE) 328 00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:26,618 Hey, what day is it? 329 00:15:26,619 --> 00:15:28,085 Trash day. 330 00:15:28,086 --> 00:15:30,622 (BOTH LAUGHING) 331 00:15:30,623 --> 00:15:32,758 Brian, look, I found my Big Wheel. 332 00:15:32,759 --> 00:15:34,960 - Cool. - It's more than cool, Brian. 333 00:15:34,961 --> 00:15:37,461 I believe the Big Wheel may actually be our ticket 334 00:15:37,462 --> 00:15:38,629 off the island. 335 00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:39,965 You see, I've calculated that, 336 00:15:39,966 --> 00:15:41,399 even with both of our weights, 337 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,234 it will still be capable of flotation. 338 00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:44,735 My plan is to attach 339 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,071 six Jimmy Buffett margarita machines to it, 340 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:49,307 which should be able to propel us home. 341 00:15:49,308 --> 00:15:51,810 Home? I don't think I want to go home. 342 00:15:51,811 --> 00:15:53,811 What? What are you talking about? 343 00:15:53,812 --> 00:15:56,148 I'm saying I like it here on Garbage Island. 344 00:15:56,149 --> 00:15:57,983 O-Okay, I-I don't think I can talk to you, 345 00:15:57,984 --> 00:15:59,484 because, right now, you're making less sense 346 00:15:59,485 --> 00:16:01,820 than an M.C. Escher floor plan. 347 00:16:01,821 --> 00:16:04,288 So, how's it coming? 348 00:16:04,289 --> 00:16:06,157 Are we gonna finish on schedule? 349 00:16:06,158 --> 00:16:07,426 I don't know, Mr. Escher. 350 00:16:07,427 --> 00:16:09,760 I've never put six stairways all in one spot. 351 00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,662 And I've lost, like, ten of my guys in here. 352 00:16:11,663 --> 00:16:13,933 Hey, I need a hammer! 353 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,926 I hate this place! I quit! 354 00:16:19,304 --> 00:16:21,107 (GRUNTS) 355 00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:28,346 Uh, 'scuse me, I'm-I'm looking for anything by... 356 00:16:28,347 --> 00:16:29,681 Mike "Bubble"? 357 00:16:29,682 --> 00:16:31,682 LOIS: It's "Bublé," you idiot! 358 00:16:31,683 --> 00:16:33,317 Oh, hey, Lo... Ow! 359 00:16:33,318 --> 00:16:34,820 That feels great! 360 00:16:34,821 --> 00:16:37,489 Glenn Quagmire, I tried to help you meet a nice woman, 361 00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:39,691 but you just couldn't help yourself, could you? 362 00:16:39,692 --> 00:16:41,026 What are you talking about? 363 00:16:41,027 --> 00:16:42,960 I thought I was helping you find love, 364 00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,796 and, instead, you used me as a tool 365 00:16:44,797 --> 00:16:47,699 to get down every middle-aged woman's pants in town. 366 00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,534 Slacks, Lois. They call them slacks. 367 00:16:49,535 --> 00:16:52,170 You wouldn't know that if it wasn't for me! 368 00:16:52,171 --> 00:16:53,704 (SIGHS) You're right. 369 00:16:53,705 --> 00:16:56,474 You were kind to me, and I took advantage of it. 370 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,463 I owe you an apology. 371 00:16:58,464 --> 00:17:00,498 Well, thank you. 372 00:17:00,499 --> 00:17:02,012 Here, let me make it up to you. 373 00:17:02,013 --> 00:17:04,149 I'll buy you a coffee, and... 374 00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:06,218 do you like the music of Ray... 375 00:17:06,219 --> 00:17:07,551 "LaMountain"? 376 00:17:07,552 --> 00:17:08,886 "LaMontagne." 377 00:17:08,887 --> 00:17:10,721 Thank you. Hey, beautiful, 378 00:17:10,722 --> 00:17:12,891 you want to take a pointless girl-stride walk 379 00:17:12,892 --> 00:17:14,992 and listen to Ray LaMontagne? 380 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,394 - Sure. - Great. 381 00:17:16,395 --> 00:17:17,854 See ya, Lois. 382 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,834 Last chance, Brian. 383 00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:24,744 You're really not coming with me? 384 00:17:24,745 --> 00:17:26,505 I'm sorry, Stewie. I'm not. 385 00:17:26,506 --> 00:17:28,172 I know it's weird to say, but... 386 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,674 it's kind of just too perfect for me here. 387 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:31,876 I see. 388 00:17:31,877 --> 00:17:33,377 Well, I should go. 389 00:17:33,378 --> 00:17:35,846 Fort Lauderdale Tanya found a four-piece puzzle 390 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,015 she's been struggling with. 391 00:17:37,016 --> 00:17:38,849 TANYA: Where does the cow go? 392 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,585 It's all corners, babe. 393 00:17:40,586 --> 00:17:42,536 (SIGHS) I have to say, 394 00:17:42,537 --> 00:17:45,257 I never imagined saying goodbye to you, Brian. 395 00:17:45,258 --> 00:17:47,705 So long take very good care 396 00:17:47,706 --> 00:17:49,994 dear friend of mine farewell. 397 00:17:49,995 --> 00:17:51,363 That's odd phrasing. 398 00:17:51,364 --> 00:17:53,230 Sorry, it's been hard to think straight. 399 00:17:53,231 --> 00:17:56,201 From the moment we arrived, I've either been drunk or ejaculating. 400 00:17:56,202 --> 00:17:58,769 These are things you don't say to a baby. 401 00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:00,739 Goodbye, Brian. 402 00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:02,740 Goodbye, Stewie. 403 00:18:02,741 --> 00:18:04,744 ♪ ♪ 404 00:18:14,921 --> 00:18:17,790 (WHIRRING) 405 00:18:25,431 --> 00:18:29,633 ♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my lady ♪ 406 00:18:29,634 --> 00:18:33,305 ♪ In the sun with your hair undone ♪ 407 00:18:33,306 --> 00:18:34,972 ♪ Can you hear me now ♪ 408 00:18:34,973 --> 00:18:39,479 ♪ Callin' your name from across the bay? ♪ 409 00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:44,783 ♪ A summer's day laughin' and a-hidin' ♪ 410 00:18:44,784 --> 00:18:49,954 ♪ Chasin' love out on Thunder Island ♪ 411 00:18:49,955 --> 00:18:52,289 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 412 00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:54,291 ♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪ 413 00:18:54,292 --> 00:18:55,759 (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) 414 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,329 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 415 00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:01,266 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪ 416 00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:03,335 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 417 00:19:03,336 --> 00:19:05,303 - ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ - (SCREAMING) 418 00:19:05,304 --> 00:19:09,776 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪ 419 00:19:16,449 --> 00:19:18,349 Stewie, what the hell's going on? 420 00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:19,817 We're back in Quahog? 421 00:19:19,818 --> 00:19:21,987 - We are, Brian. - Why? What happened? 422 00:19:21,988 --> 00:19:24,456 You're an enormously important part of my life, Brian, 423 00:19:24,457 --> 00:19:26,624 and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. 424 00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:28,793 I assumed it unlikely you'd change your mind, 425 00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:31,863 so I added the fans from many, many Dell laptops 426 00:19:31,864 --> 00:19:33,198 to the back of my Big Wheel 427 00:19:33,199 --> 00:19:35,700 so I could simply tow everyone back to land. 428 00:19:35,701 --> 00:19:36,701 Wow. 429 00:19:36,702 --> 00:19:37,969 Thank you. 430 00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,837 That means a lot to me. 431 00:19:39,838 --> 00:19:41,972 Well, our journey taught me something, Brian. 432 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,843 You can throw away just about anything in this world, 433 00:19:44,844 --> 00:19:47,479 but you can't throw away a friendship. 434 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,547 No, you can't, Stewie. 435 00:19:49,548 --> 00:19:51,650 Cool if I say goodbye to the garbage? 436 00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:54,885 You do what you got to do, you gross dog. 437 00:19:54,886 --> 00:19:57,322 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 438 00:19:57,323 --> 00:20:00,491 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪ 439 00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:02,360 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 440 00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:04,662 ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪ 441 00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:08,667 ♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do. ♪ 442 00:20:13,506 --> 00:20:15,739 ♪ Sweet sunshine ♪ 443 00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:19,044 ♪ So, sha-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 444 00:20:19,045 --> 00:20:20,511 ♪ My lady ♪ 445 00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:24,015 ♪ In the sun with your dress undone ♪ 446 00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:25,883 ♪ Now every mile aw... ♪ 447 00:20:25,884 --> 00:20:27,887 (MUZAK VERSION OF "THUNDER ISLAND" PLAYING) 448 00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:46,037 Sausage and pepperoni for Alan? 449 00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:47,204 Alan? 450 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:50,208 (SNIFFS) God, that smells good, doesn't it? 451 00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:51,610 - Alan? - Yeah. 452 00:20:51,611 --> 00:20:54,078 But, actually, I ordered just pepperoni. 453 00:20:54,079 --> 00:20:57,216 (SIGHS) Can I see your receipt? 454 00:21:00,904 --> 00:21:04,342 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com - 33039

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