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1
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:42,109
THE SPIES WHO CAME IN
FROM THE SEMI-COLD
2
00:03:34,689 --> 00:03:35,829
Come in.
3
00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:26,329
A new batch of exploding girls is ready,
Doctor.
4
00:04:26,329 --> 00:04:28,849
What a fabulous machine I've invented,
5
00:04:28,849 --> 00:04:31,569
it does everything automatically,
6
00:04:31,569 --> 00:04:34,129
when we used to do it all by hand.
7
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,329
Perfect. Hardjob,
8
00:04:38,329 --> 00:04:40,729
the pressure gauge, please.
9
00:04:40,729 --> 00:04:42,679
Fantastic!
10
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,799
Let's see.
11
00:04:47,369 --> 00:04:50,599
Plastic injection fine tuning.
12
00:04:51,689 --> 00:04:53,279
- Check.
- Excellent.
13
00:04:53,369 --> 00:04:55,439
Engage circuit.
14
00:04:55,889 --> 00:04:58,079
Circuit engaged.
15
00:05:00,449 --> 00:05:01,999
Contact!
16
00:05:37,929 --> 00:05:40,559
They look so real, don't they?
17
00:05:40,769 --> 00:05:45,889
In fact, they're a diabolical creation,
a product of my scientific genius.
18
00:05:45,889 --> 00:05:49,609
Each of these beauties
is equipped with a little device...
19
00:05:49,609 --> 00:05:52,169
which in our profession...
20
00:05:52,169 --> 00:05:53,769
or rather, my profession...
21
00:05:53,769 --> 00:05:55,569
is known as the Kiss of Death.
22
00:05:55,569 --> 00:05:58,489
A touch from their lips
that has more pressure...
23
00:05:58,489 --> 00:06:02,689
than an innocent kiss completes a
circuit and... bang!
24
00:06:02,689 --> 00:06:07,649
A glorious explosion that will destroy
my lovely creations...
25
00:06:07,649 --> 00:06:09,689
along with their victims.
26
00:06:09,689 --> 00:06:11,679
Why am I doing all this?
27
00:06:12,569 --> 00:06:14,489
It's quite simple really.
28
00:06:14,489 --> 00:06:15,839
You see...
29
00:06:16,089 --> 00:06:17,969
I've made a deal
with my Chinese friends,
30
00:06:17,969 --> 00:06:21,689
we're going to share control
of the entire planet.
31
00:06:21,689 --> 00:06:26,489
And what of America and Russia?
Two obstacles to be removed.
32
00:06:26,489 --> 00:06:29,049
To begin with,
my lovely exploding girls
33
00:06:29,049 --> 00:06:31,729
will eliminate
certain annoying generals.
34
00:06:31,729 --> 00:06:35,129
Then, when the only survivor
is General Willis...
35
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:36,849
my plan will move into it's final phase.
36
00:06:36,849 --> 00:06:41,079
A simple one, as the general
looks exactly like me.
37
00:06:41,729 --> 00:06:44,559
An incredibly charming man.
38
00:06:59,849 --> 00:07:01,369
We should get a move on,
39
00:07:01,369 --> 00:07:04,239
we must go into action, duty calls.
40
00:07:04,369 --> 00:07:08,639
- Let it call.
- Show some respect for that uniform.
41
00:07:09,169 --> 00:07:12,369
An agent should always be ready.
- I am ready!
42
00:07:12,369 --> 00:07:15,639
- Will you be serious!
- Leave me alone.
43
00:07:17,409 --> 00:07:18,879
Who's that?
44
00:07:19,049 --> 00:07:21,249
Ciccio! A Chinese man.
45
00:07:21,249 --> 00:07:25,029
- Who, him? Just a tourist.
- He looks Chinese.
46
00:07:25,489 --> 00:07:27,329
- Come on, let's go.
- Where to?
47
00:07:27,329 --> 00:07:31,679
- Let's go, he's watching us.
- Is someone watching?
48
00:08:04,089 --> 00:08:06,439
Hey, where are you going?
49
00:08:09,249 --> 00:08:10,689
- Stop.
- What is it?
50
00:08:10,689 --> 00:08:13,049
- I think we're being followed.
- The Chinese man?
51
00:08:13,049 --> 00:08:15,969
Chinese or not, we have to confront him.
You remember our instructions?
52
00:08:15,969 --> 00:08:19,319
- Of course, Orsa Major force.
- Show me.
53
00:08:22,729 --> 00:08:25,769
The Chinese man, not me.
- Alright!
54
00:08:25,769 --> 00:08:29,239
- Let's hide.
- You hide me, I'll hide you.
55
00:08:30,649 --> 00:08:31,789
Come on.
56
00:08:37,729 --> 00:08:39,679
Hear anything?
57
00:08:40,089 --> 00:08:41,999
We must use our ears.
58
00:08:43,049 --> 00:08:44,399
Your ears!
59
00:08:45,649 --> 00:08:48,529
Can you hear anything?
- Chinese footsteps.
60
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,449
- What shall we do?
- We need a plan.
61
00:08:50,449 --> 00:08:51,529
Which one?
62
00:08:51,529 --> 00:08:53,849
- Plan 5 time 8 is 24.
- Fine.
63
00:08:53,849 --> 00:08:55,319
Let's move.
64
00:08:56,289 --> 00:08:57,839
Careful.
65
00:08:58,249 --> 00:08:59,719
Be careful.
66
00:09:03,329 --> 00:09:04,959
He's coming.
67
00:09:05,969 --> 00:09:07,439
Let's hide.
68
00:09:19,609 --> 00:09:20,959
Well done.
69
00:09:23,409 --> 00:09:26,359
Mission accomplished.
70
00:09:27,249 --> 00:09:29,279
But...
- What is it?
71
00:09:29,889 --> 00:09:32,849
- I thought he was Chinese?
- Must be plastic surgery.
72
00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:35,329
True, the Chinese
are masters of disguise.
73
00:09:35,329 --> 00:09:37,929
In or out of disguise,
he's still Chinese.
74
00:09:37,929 --> 00:09:41,999
- The countdown's over, time to go.
- Let's move.
75
00:10:07,049 --> 00:10:08,399
After you.
76
00:10:10,249 --> 00:10:13,169
It's 7:30. Next time you're late,
you can find another job.
77
00:10:13,169 --> 00:10:18,109
- It's the Chinese man's fault.
- Quiet. Guests are coming.
78
00:10:18,289 --> 00:10:21,089
- Good evening.
- Welcome.
79
00:10:21,089 --> 00:10:24,709
- Thank you.
- The ladies' coat, please.
80
00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:36,569
- A world of luxury we'll never know.
- We won't be doormen for ever.
81
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:39,889
That's why we're taking classes
in espionage.
82
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,489
Once we get that diploma,
83
00:10:41,489 --> 00:10:44,439
we'll be able to say we're in the FBA.
84
00:10:44,849 --> 00:10:47,889
Kidnapping, extortion, secret formulas,
Chinese spies...
85
00:10:47,889 --> 00:10:50,369
We'll know all about it!
- Women too!
86
00:10:50,369 --> 00:10:53,089
Women have a secret passion
for secret agents.
87
00:10:53,089 --> 00:10:56,789
- How do you know?
- Study. Watch the movies.
88
00:10:57,489 --> 00:11:00,529
By the way, our fourth lesson
has arrived.
89
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,849
- You didn't tell me. What does it say?
- Let me see.
90
00:11:02,849 --> 00:11:05,009
This is a curate's pen.
- A what?
91
00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:08,689
- Black curate, it's poison.
- You mean curare.
92
00:11:08,689 --> 00:11:12,769
- You just press this button, and...
- Careful. You could kill me.
93
00:11:12,769 --> 00:11:15,889
Isn't there a manual with it?
- Sure, here it is.
94
00:11:15,889 --> 00:11:18,329
But I can't read it.
- Why not?
95
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,359
I forgot my glasses.
96
00:11:21,449 --> 00:11:24,049
To have curare delivered to you,
send another 10,000 lire
97
00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:27,359
enclosing a valid prescription.
98
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:41,029
Here I am, Dr Golfoot,
just as you ordered.
99
00:11:41,729 --> 00:11:45,329
- Well done Fong.
- The general will be here soon.
100
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,689
We will observe him closely.
101
00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:51,169
- She's the cloakroom girl.
- No, not at all!
102
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,559
She's a copy.
103
00:11:53,649 --> 00:11:56,919
Your job is to take care
of the real one.
104
00:11:58,529 --> 00:12:00,159
This way my dear.
105
00:12:00,889 --> 00:12:02,729
That's right, this way.
106
00:12:02,729 --> 00:12:03,869
Let's go.
107
00:12:06,929 --> 00:12:09,449
Careful with the pen, it's dangerous.
108
00:12:09,449 --> 00:12:11,079
More guests.
109
00:12:12,489 --> 00:12:14,649
Welcome.
- Good evening.
110
00:12:14,649 --> 00:12:15,999
Thank you.
111
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,599
She didn't feel a thing!
112
00:12:30,769 --> 00:12:32,799
Where are you going?
113
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:41,439
I'm sorry.
Welcome, thank you.
114
00:12:42,169 --> 00:12:43,519
Thank you.
115
00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:54,039
- What have I done?
- I can't die by the pen!
116
00:13:03,689 --> 00:13:05,479
The Chinese guy!
117
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,919
Stop it. Let me.
118
00:13:09,249 --> 00:13:11,359
For you, for me? For him!
119
00:13:50,489 --> 00:13:55,199
- The manager!
- Mission accomplished. Retreat!
120
00:14:20,049 --> 00:14:22,529
This man is dangerous,
we must interrogate him.
121
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:26,279
He has to talk.
- I don't think that's likely.
122
00:14:26,689 --> 00:14:29,959
He's faking!
We're smarter than he is.
123
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:34,009
We'll tie him up and
question him after our shift.
124
00:14:34,009 --> 00:14:38,279
Good idea.
Even unconscious, he's still Chinese.
125
00:14:56,689 --> 00:14:58,039
Thank you.
126
00:15:06,849 --> 00:15:07,989
Do it now.
127
00:15:28,089 --> 00:15:29,879
Quick, hurry up.
128
00:15:37,609 --> 00:15:39,279
Time to go to work.
129
00:16:13,449 --> 00:16:17,719
This one's so angry,
I think he's going to explode.
130
00:16:21,249 --> 00:16:22,359
I told you!
131
00:16:33,769 --> 00:16:38,049
This is pseudo-acrylic acid.
Dr Golfoot's favourite explosive.
132
00:16:38,049 --> 00:16:41,609
- Who is this Coldfeet?
- The most evil man alive.
133
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:45,889
A heartless killer, who's already tried
to take over the world.
134
00:16:45,889 --> 00:16:49,729
Sure. That explosion
obviously drove you mad.
135
00:16:49,729 --> 00:16:53,769
I have to contact Colonel Benson
of the SIC at once.
136
00:16:53,769 --> 00:16:56,129
- Hurry up, untie me.
- Who's SIC?
137
00:16:56,129 --> 00:17:00,849
- Security Intelligence Command.
- He's a secret agent!
138
00:17:00,849 --> 00:17:03,729
Secret agent?
How do we know he isn't Chinese,
139
00:17:03,729 --> 00:17:06,249
disguised as an American,
so we think he's an American
140
00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:10,009
and not Chinese
so we don't know he's an agent!
141
00:17:10,009 --> 00:17:12,729
True! I hadn't thought of that.
Where's your identification?
142
00:17:12,729 --> 00:17:17,079
- In my wallet. Back pocket.
- With your permission.
143
00:17:19,449 --> 00:17:20,589
Here.
144
00:17:22,489 --> 00:17:23,929
It's horrible!
145
00:17:23,929 --> 00:17:28,639
- What does it say?
- I've forgotten my glasses, read it.
146
00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:33,079
- It's true! Bill Dexter, secret agent.
- Like us!
147
00:17:34,729 --> 00:17:37,079
Wait. Mr Agent, please!
148
00:17:38,409 --> 00:17:42,359
Take us with you!
We'll make a good impression.
149
00:17:44,369 --> 00:17:48,009
It's not easy being a secret agent.
You need bravery, intelligence.
150
00:17:48,009 --> 00:17:51,129
You need to speak
four foreign languages.
151
00:17:51,129 --> 00:17:54,279
That's me! I've studied languages.
152
00:17:55,209 --> 00:18:00,559
I know dialects from Palermo, Catania,
Syracuse, everywhere!
153
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:05,249
Know why he doesn't speak Chinese?
He's never studied it.
154
00:18:05,249 --> 00:18:09,799
He's great with disguises.
Do you remember Fregoli?
155
00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:13,689
He's even better than him.
Show him what you can do.
156
00:18:13,689 --> 00:18:17,919
Here I go. Attention please.
Transformation!
157
00:18:41,649 --> 00:18:43,679
He's good, isn't he?
158
00:18:45,849 --> 00:18:50,359
The boss will be giving you a few tips.
Pay attention.
159
00:18:51,649 --> 00:18:54,719
They'll be of great use.
- This is it.
160
00:18:58,569 --> 00:19:02,649
Young students, you are studying
to be secret agents
161
00:19:02,649 --> 00:19:06,289
and to take on secret missions...
- Ask who that is.
162
00:19:06,289 --> 00:19:07,559
Who is that?
163
00:19:08,009 --> 00:19:11,409
He's Colonel Benson.
He runs SIC, and is an old friend.
164
00:19:11,409 --> 00:19:13,709
I didn't understand.
165
00:19:13,889 --> 00:19:18,599
And I say again, the future of the world
depends on you...
166
00:19:20,969 --> 00:19:24,329
He's very good,
we've worked together many times.
167
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:25,799
One moment.
168
00:19:28,329 --> 00:19:30,999
Hello there!
- Oh, it's you.
169
00:19:31,649 --> 00:19:34,769
Still here? I thought you'd been fired.
170
00:19:34,769 --> 00:19:38,049
Colonel, it's urgent.
I must speak with you privately.
171
00:19:38,049 --> 00:19:40,929
I can prove that Dr Gold foot has...
- Speak up man!
172
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:44,199
It's rude to whisper in front of others.
173
00:19:45,249 --> 00:19:47,159
He's still alive!
174
00:19:47,609 --> 00:19:49,239
Dr Goldfoot?
175
00:19:50,249 --> 00:19:53,689
Wait in my office. I'll meet you there
when I've finished.
176
00:19:53,689 --> 00:19:56,199
Now pay close attention.
177
00:19:56,769 --> 00:19:58,719
Is that a secret sign?
178
00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:04,199
Head down to personnel,
they'll take all your details.
179
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:11,559
Here are your data cards.
Pin them to your jackets.
180
00:20:12,609 --> 00:20:15,969
- I'd give anything to have one.
- Are they hard to get?
181
00:20:15,969 --> 00:20:19,239
Practically impossible.
182
00:20:25,649 --> 00:20:27,439
These are for you.
183
00:20:29,409 --> 00:20:31,199
Students!
184
00:20:33,529 --> 00:20:36,399
Attention! One, two, one, two.
185
00:20:39,249 --> 00:20:40,389
We're in!
186
00:20:46,409 --> 00:20:50,849
- What do you want, Bill?
- Four NATO generals have been killed...
187
00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:54,919
One was blown up this evening,
I was right there!
188
00:20:55,609 --> 00:20:59,279
I've heard, but I don't see
where you fit in.
189
00:21:01,089 --> 00:21:03,389
You no longer work for SIC.
190
00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:06,399
You like the ladies too much.
191
00:21:07,329 --> 00:21:11,879
I saw Goldfoot in the same place
that the general died.
192
00:21:12,649 --> 00:21:14,569
Your imagining things.
193
00:21:14,569 --> 00:21:16,479
I'm not, colonel.
194
00:21:16,769 --> 00:21:19,329
Is this what you came to tell me?
195
00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:23,769
Yes sir, exactly.
196
00:21:23,769 --> 00:21:28,769
It's sad, Bill. You'd do anything
to get back into the agency.
197
00:21:28,769 --> 00:21:32,609
You'd even invent a story
about Goldfoot being alive.
198
00:21:32,609 --> 00:21:35,169
That won't fool me, do you hear?
199
00:21:39,249 --> 00:21:43,519
Are you mad? This is a direct line
to the president.
200
00:21:51,089 --> 00:21:54,239
Hallo?
Yes, Mr President, it's me.
201
00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:59,049
About the generals? Bombs?
202
00:21:59,049 --> 00:22:01,929
Surely, it's just a coincidence?
203
00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:04,999
Yes, sir. We're doing all that we can.
204
00:22:05,249 --> 00:22:08,119
Yes, sir. Even the impossible.
205
00:22:08,849 --> 00:22:12,719
Yes, president. The impossible.
As you wish.
206
00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:23,359
I'm going to see my little friends,
it's their breakfast time.
207
00:22:27,329 --> 00:22:31,249
How are we today, little fishes?
Are you hungry?
208
00:22:31,249 --> 00:22:35,799
I've got a nice steak for you,
the way you like it. Rare.
209
00:22:37,769 --> 00:22:40,069
Come on, boys. Throw it in.
210
00:22:57,729 --> 00:23:00,009
What? Thirty seconds?
211
00:23:00,009 --> 00:23:04,449
That's not good enough.
We'll have to starve them for longer!
212
00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:09,519
I want them to eat that much
in the standard time, 25 seconds.
213
00:23:18,129 --> 00:23:19,919
Please, come in.
214
00:23:22,529 --> 00:23:24,559
Please, have a seat.
215
00:23:28,209 --> 00:23:30,639
Gentlemen, this is...
216
00:23:32,129 --> 00:23:34,719
perhaps I should read this.
217
00:23:35,249 --> 00:23:37,839
This meeting is top secret.
218
00:23:39,009 --> 00:23:43,519
This room is completely secure .
Here, we're safe...
219
00:23:45,009 --> 00:23:48,569
from microphones, recorders,
and cunning spies.
220
00:23:48,569 --> 00:23:51,719
No-one can observe us or eavesdrop.
221
00:23:54,049 --> 00:23:57,319
Please turn your attention to this map.
222
00:23:58,049 --> 00:24:02,319
There have been bombings
in all the NATO capitals,
223
00:24:02,489 --> 00:24:07,959
the targets were all generals involved
in maneuvers this June.
224
00:24:08,169 --> 00:24:11,239
Is there a link between these events?
225
00:24:11,689 --> 00:24:15,839
If there is, our Secret Service
will discover it.
226
00:24:19,889 --> 00:24:24,159
As you know, we have hundreds
of highly trained men
227
00:24:25,849 --> 00:24:28,799
The results of years of training.
228
00:24:29,089 --> 00:24:32,929
Highly efficient operatives,
ready for anything.
229
00:24:32,929 --> 00:24:38,199
However, there should not be
human error in selecting agents.
230
00:24:41,409 --> 00:24:44,479
I can make a mistake, but Rita cannot.
231
00:24:46,009 --> 00:24:49,879
- Who is Rita?
- Rita is IBM's latest computer,
232
00:24:51,529 --> 00:24:54,319
The pride of your industries.
233
00:24:55,329 --> 00:24:56,469
Right.
234
00:24:59,929 --> 00:25:02,439
Miss Rosanna, after you.
235
00:25:10,929 --> 00:25:15,479
Gentlemen, this is Rita.
Rita, meet these gentlemen.
236
00:25:19,089 --> 00:25:21,919
Data cards for all our agents...
237
00:25:23,329 --> 00:25:26,479
have already been added to her memory.
238
00:25:28,769 --> 00:25:31,569
In a few seconds, Rita will select...
239
00:25:31,569 --> 00:25:35,269
their various skills and abilities...
240
00:25:36,129 --> 00:25:40,479
deciding automatically
the best agent for the job.
241
00:25:42,409 --> 00:25:45,079
May I? I'd like to press a button.
242
00:25:45,689 --> 00:25:47,989
This one.
- Of course.
243
00:25:51,209 --> 00:25:55,479
Gentlemen, we make mistakes,
but machines don't.
244
00:25:56,089 --> 00:25:58,359
That's what he thinks!
245
00:26:16,689 --> 00:26:17,829
Done!
246
00:26:24,969 --> 00:26:26,879
Right, let's see.
247
00:26:26,969 --> 00:26:28,279
477 and 478.
248
00:26:48,369 --> 00:26:51,089
- You're here too?
- That's right.
249
00:26:51,089 --> 00:26:54,039
There's lots of great stuff here.
250
00:26:55,249 --> 00:26:58,919
I've heard this is great.
Have you tried it?
251
00:26:59,049 --> 00:27:02,319
I prefer something a little lighter.
252
00:27:08,329 --> 00:27:12,639
A grenade with a short fuse.
- The kind I like to use!
253
00:27:15,729 --> 00:27:18,169
Would you pass me a Breda
- Which type?
254
00:27:18,169 --> 00:27:21,399
Why, a Breda.
- You're shameless.
255
00:27:24,529 --> 00:27:27,599
- I'll take an 84.
- With pleasure.
256
00:27:33,849 --> 00:27:38,159
What nature creates, Ciccio takes.
- Oh, very good!
257
00:27:45,489 --> 00:27:47,119
Now that's a gun!
258
00:27:54,609 --> 00:27:57,359
TNT! My secret ingredient.
259
00:27:59,849 --> 00:28:02,359
Sicilian gelatine.
260
00:28:05,849 --> 00:28:08,359
Pistachio flavour!
261
00:28:10,409 --> 00:28:12,709
Delicious, try some.
262
00:28:21,249 --> 00:28:24,439
I'm so sorry! Commander, forgive us.
263
00:28:24,729 --> 00:28:27,239
Why the dark expression?
264
00:28:28,169 --> 00:28:32,479
Dear chaps, my thirty year career
is in your hands.
265
00:28:33,689 --> 00:28:36,839
To think that my future depends on you!
266
00:28:39,849 --> 00:28:42,679
For a start, no weapons.
- What?
267
00:28:43,209 --> 00:28:46,289
Not even a machine gun?
- Nothing.
268
00:28:46,289 --> 00:28:47,799
Come this way.
269
00:28:50,209 --> 00:28:53,279
A true secret agent doesn't use guns.
270
00:28:55,449 --> 00:28:58,369
The bulge in your jacket
would give you away
271
00:28:58,369 --> 00:29:00,319
Instead...
272
00:29:00,689 --> 00:29:03,559
A spy uses cunning.
- Cunning?
273
00:29:06,769 --> 00:29:08,879
A bit of milk never hurt.
274
00:29:10,129 --> 00:29:12,279
But a chop to the neck does!
275
00:29:14,529 --> 00:29:17,679
We're the best! The wicked get no rest.
276
00:29:19,889 --> 00:29:21,799
Excellent!
277
00:29:26,329 --> 00:29:28,129
What's he doing?
278
00:29:28,129 --> 00:29:31,479
Easy now, boss.
- Secret agents...
279
00:29:32,849 --> 00:29:35,039
must know how to suffer,
280
00:29:36,449 --> 00:29:39,599
they must be able to take pain!
- Pain?
281
00:29:41,689 --> 00:29:44,359
I've fought with an octopus,
282
00:29:45,009 --> 00:29:47,679
I can handle a hippopotamus.
283
00:29:47,769 --> 00:29:50,849
- What hippopotamus?
- You! Here's my hand.
284
00:29:50,849 --> 00:29:53,119
That tickles! Come on!
285
00:29:57,649 --> 00:30:01,679
It's incredible! Fantastic!
Shake my hand!
286
00:30:26,969 --> 00:30:29,319
This won't take a second.
287
00:30:31,649 --> 00:30:34,799
- No photos!
- How dare you? My camera!
288
00:30:34,969 --> 00:30:37,799
Give me my camera.
- Calm down.
289
00:30:39,489 --> 00:30:43,159
- Do you know who we are?
- No. - Lucky for you.
290
00:30:44,169 --> 00:30:45,559
Look who it is.
291
00:30:47,249 --> 00:30:48,879
Hello there!
292
00:30:52,929 --> 00:30:54,449
I'm glad I found you.
293
00:30:54,449 --> 00:30:56,889
Listen carefully.
We must join forces.
294
00:30:56,889 --> 00:30:58,489
Only I can tell you...
295
00:30:58,489 --> 00:31:01,369
where to find the bomber, Dr Goldfoot.
296
00:31:01,369 --> 00:31:04,929
- I'd rather eat my sandwich.
- Interesting. Where is he?
297
00:31:04,929 --> 00:31:08,529
My investigations show
that he's renting a villa...
298
00:31:08,529 --> 00:31:09,929
on the Appian Way.
299
00:31:09,929 --> 00:31:11,889
It has a large basement.
300
00:31:11,889 --> 00:31:17,009
He's storing a lot of plastic materials.
You know what that means?
301
00:31:17,009 --> 00:31:19,919
- Not a clue!
- But it's obvious.
302
00:31:20,769 --> 00:31:24,489
All the generals were killed by
exploding plastic dummies...
303
00:31:24,489 --> 00:31:27,369
that looked like real women.
Dr Goldfoot makes them in that villa!
304
00:31:27,369 --> 00:31:31,719
We have to stop him.
- Dr Goldfoot? Exploding women?
305
00:31:32,169 --> 00:31:35,409
You're inventing it all
so you can join the FBI.
306
00:31:35,409 --> 00:31:39,249
- And you sound like Benson!
- He told us to speak to no-one.
307
00:31:39,249 --> 00:31:41,709
And above all not to trust you!
308
00:31:42,089 --> 00:31:45,009
So you won't use me on this mission?
309
00:31:45,009 --> 00:31:49,529
- It's our case, we'll deal with it.
- We'll use ourselves!
310
00:31:49,529 --> 00:31:50,669
Fine!
311
00:31:50,889 --> 00:31:56,169
I'll talk to Rosanna, she'll convince
Benson to give me the case.
312
00:31:56,169 --> 00:31:58,409
I'll show you.
- Go ahead!
313
00:31:58,409 --> 00:32:02,289
We've trained, you know!
We studied at the Post Office.
314
00:32:02,289 --> 00:32:04,329
Enough of your distractions!
315
00:32:04,329 --> 00:32:07,729
- Actually, he's right.
- So why didn't you tell him?
316
00:32:07,729 --> 00:32:10,969
- The time's not right.
- I prefer The Daily News.
317
00:32:10,969 --> 00:32:12,479
I mean timing!
318
00:32:12,889 --> 00:32:17,799
I've memorized the map.
We'll go to the villa without him.
319
00:32:17,889 --> 00:32:21,249
We'll stop him, reveal his identity
and arrest him.
320
00:32:21,249 --> 00:32:24,639
Ciccio, compared to you,
I'm a small spy.
321
00:32:25,489 --> 00:32:28,639
This Bill Dexter is making me nervous.
322
00:32:29,249 --> 00:32:30,719
You know what?
323
00:32:31,089 --> 00:32:34,159
I have to get my hands on this Rosanna.
324
00:32:35,329 --> 00:32:38,599
Incredible. You have a heart after all!
325
00:32:39,689 --> 00:32:44,809
Don't be ridiculous, Fong.
I need her so I can duplicate her.
326
00:33:09,689 --> 00:33:13,329
- Trespassers in the garden.
- Excellent.
327
00:33:13,329 --> 00:33:16,079
Those two idiots are just in time.
328
00:33:16,649 --> 00:33:19,319
Chun Lai, feed the piranhas.
329
00:33:25,049 --> 00:33:28,289
This place looks uninhabited.
Seems innocent to me.
330
00:33:28,289 --> 00:33:32,329
- Bill said this was the place.
- So either he's wrong or we are.
331
00:33:32,329 --> 00:33:35,009
Do you have a hypothesis?
What are you doing?
332
00:33:35,009 --> 00:33:37,049
- I left it at home.
- Do you have any ideas?
333
00:33:37,049 --> 00:33:38,919
Let's look for him.
334
00:34:15,849 --> 00:34:19,359
Franco! Where are you?
What are you doing?
335
00:34:19,529 --> 00:34:22,209
- A water feature!
- It's hardly the time.
336
00:34:22,209 --> 00:34:26,479
I mean a pool! With water and fishes.
Come and look.
337
00:34:29,849 --> 00:34:32,199
- Where is it?
- This way.
338
00:34:38,849 --> 00:34:39,959
Come on.
339
00:34:40,849 --> 00:34:44,529
Look, what a lovely pool!
The water's clean too.
340
00:34:44,529 --> 00:34:47,169
You know what? I'm going to bathe.
- What?
341
00:34:47,169 --> 00:34:52,329
You're mad, we're in May.
- I haven't had a bath since last May!
342
00:34:52,329 --> 00:34:56,679
- And you caught a cold.
- Okay, I'll check the water.
343
00:34:57,129 --> 00:34:58,919
Give me your hand.
344
00:35:01,409 --> 00:35:04,159
Something's eaten my shoe!
345
00:35:06,969 --> 00:35:08,109
Let me see.
346
00:35:12,249 --> 00:35:15,839
- Who was that?
- Another bather? - Look!
347
00:35:16,769 --> 00:35:20,639
He can't swim, he's drowning.
Let's help him.
348
00:35:22,209 --> 00:35:25,159
Come closer, reach out your hand!
349
00:35:27,969 --> 00:35:30,999
Ciccio! A swimming skeleton!
350
00:35:36,409 --> 00:35:38,369
- Which way?
- Where's the exit?
351
00:35:38,369 --> 00:35:40,599
Over that wall, come on.
352
00:35:40,929 --> 00:35:42,409
Yikes! The Bengal Lancers.
353
00:35:42,409 --> 00:35:43,679
Wait for me!
354
00:35:46,969 --> 00:35:49,799
- Wait!
- We're being shot at!
355
00:36:03,129 --> 00:36:06,649
Commander! We found the plastic villa.
The villa with the plastic!
356
00:36:06,649 --> 00:36:09,089
And spears that come out of the wall!
357
00:36:09,089 --> 00:36:11,129
And Chinese assassins!
358
00:36:11,129 --> 00:36:14,199
Carnivorous fish! Look at my shoe!
359
00:36:16,089 --> 00:36:17,729
What should we do?
360
00:36:17,729 --> 00:36:19,839
Maybe Bill was right.
361
00:36:20,129 --> 00:36:23,159
Red alert! Prepare all agents. Go!
362
00:36:26,329 --> 00:36:30,199
I hope to God for your sakes
that you're right.
363
00:36:32,409 --> 00:36:34,569
- Hallo?
- Road block seven here,
364
00:36:34,569 --> 00:36:38,169
Military vehicles are on their way,
should we open fire?
365
00:36:38,169 --> 00:36:39,959
No, let them pass.
366
00:36:43,849 --> 00:36:45,069
Plan four B.
367
00:36:48,369 --> 00:36:50,719
SALVATION COLLEGE
368
00:36:57,409 --> 00:36:58,549
Halt!
369
00:36:59,889 --> 00:37:03,959
Just a moment! I'm in charge,
I'll shout 'halt'!
370
00:37:04,769 --> 00:37:06,719
Company, halt!
371
00:37:14,289 --> 00:37:15,839
Careful!
372
00:37:17,729 --> 00:37:19,799
Prepare to attack.
373
00:37:25,089 --> 00:37:26,879
Is this the villa?
374
00:37:27,489 --> 00:37:29,839
It looks like a college to me.
375
00:37:52,849 --> 00:37:55,799
- Excuse me.
- Take a break girls.
376
00:37:56,169 --> 00:38:00,089
Good morning general.
- Good morning Mother Superior
377
00:38:00,089 --> 00:38:03,969
- To what do we owe this honour?
- We'd like to visit the villa.
378
00:38:03,969 --> 00:38:05,359
By all means.
379
00:38:07,449 --> 00:38:12,329
From their clothes, I'd say
these men are archeologists.
380
00:38:12,329 --> 00:38:16,249
If they're interested
in classic figures...
381
00:38:16,249 --> 00:38:19,319
Not those figures. The ones up there.
382
00:38:19,569 --> 00:38:24,409
One of the oldest buildings here,
it's from the 11th century.
383
00:38:24,409 --> 00:38:29,079
Are you here to enroll a niece perhaps?
- Well, you see...
384
00:38:30,129 --> 00:38:33,199
Actually, we'd like to see your pool.
385
00:38:36,049 --> 00:38:38,799
That's it! The pool with the...
386
00:38:40,489 --> 00:38:42,089
The pyramid fish.
387
00:38:42,089 --> 00:38:44,519
We love our little fishes.
388
00:38:45,209 --> 00:38:47,729
It's not the season for swimming...
389
00:38:47,729 --> 00:38:52,479
so we keep goldfish in there.
The girls love to feed them.
390
00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:58,799
- Yeah, with human flesh!
- Don't talk rubbish. Hush.
391
00:39:00,329 --> 00:39:05,269
Enough of this piranha nonsense.
- Come over here, please.
392
00:39:07,209 --> 00:39:09,489
- He's one of them!
- Oh, stop it.
393
00:39:09,489 --> 00:39:13,689
He's the only survivor from
a Chinese convent. He was the gardener.
394
00:39:13,689 --> 00:39:17,409
When the convent was destroyed,
he survived for 6 months eating swans.
395
00:39:17,409 --> 00:39:21,129
Would you get in the pool, dear?
- No! - Go on.
396
00:39:21,129 --> 00:39:24,909
- Why won't he get in the pool?
- Quiet. Behave!
397
00:39:26,129 --> 00:39:29,879
Don't worry, I put the fish in the bath.
Go on!
398
00:39:30,289 --> 00:39:32,399
- You see?
- Poor man.
399
00:39:33,409 --> 00:39:34,719
Go on, get in.
400
00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,439
Don't do it! Listen to me.
401
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:46,839
They'll eat him!
402
00:39:48,489 --> 00:39:49,959
Be careful!
403
00:39:52,529 --> 00:39:55,769
- They're not eating him.
- They've become vegetarian.
404
00:39:55,769 --> 00:39:58,449
I don't get it.
- Don't be ridiculous.
405
00:39:58,449 --> 00:40:03,089
Pity the Nuremberg trials are over,
I'd have you hanged.
406
00:40:03,089 --> 00:40:05,679
- Such a pity.
- Silly boys!
407
00:40:06,009 --> 00:40:11,159
Perhaps you'd like to watch
a gymnastics display by my girls.
408
00:40:13,129 --> 00:40:15,159
They're very good!
409
00:40:18,769 --> 00:40:20,399
Pass me the ball.
410
00:40:28,649 --> 00:40:29,999
Excuse me.
411
00:40:30,649 --> 00:40:31,529
What is it?
412
00:40:31,529 --> 00:40:34,089
- Everything alright, sir?
- Get everyone ready to leave.
413
00:40:34,089 --> 00:40:36,609
- False alarm.
- Yes, sir.
414
00:40:36,609 --> 00:40:39,849
- Something's not right.
- Definitely suspect.
415
00:40:39,849 --> 00:40:44,789
- Follow me, don't act suspicious.
- They mustn't suspect.
416
00:40:54,689 --> 00:40:56,039
Very good.
417
00:41:10,969 --> 00:41:13,489
I'm not fooled by this college scam.
418
00:41:13,489 --> 00:41:18,159
If we don't find something,
the boss is going to fire us.
419
00:41:20,529 --> 00:41:21,999
What was that?
420
00:41:24,129 --> 00:41:25,269
No noise!
421
00:41:34,729 --> 00:41:37,999
Stop dancing!
This isn't a wedding.
422
00:42:26,609 --> 00:42:29,119
- What's up?
- Come here.
423
00:42:30,569 --> 00:42:31,569
What is it?
424
00:42:31,569 --> 00:42:34,049
- An opening - On the left?
- No, in mid-field!
425
00:42:34,049 --> 00:42:36,839
- Shall we look?
- Let's look.
426
00:42:39,849 --> 00:42:41,069
A red light!
427
00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:43,479
Let's take a look.
428
00:42:45,369 --> 00:42:47,409
- Watch it!
- You watch it!
429
00:42:47,409 --> 00:42:51,079
- Who's that?
- Someone in a hurry for a bath.
430
00:42:56,369 --> 00:42:58,159
A dead China-man!
431
00:42:58,729 --> 00:43:01,079
This place is a cemetery!
432
00:43:02,729 --> 00:43:05,369
Oh, general, you're too kind.
433
00:43:05,369 --> 00:43:08,119
- Colonel!
- Who's that?
434
00:43:09,129 --> 00:43:13,769
- We've got proof! It's proved. Proven!
- Enough of this.
435
00:43:13,769 --> 00:43:17,129
I'm not interested. Let's go.
- The fish! Don't go!
436
00:43:17,129 --> 00:43:19,879
They're closing the gates.
437
00:43:23,649 --> 00:43:28,199
They've closed them.
They're coming towards us. Run!
438
00:43:45,489 --> 00:43:48,159
Take them to the strongroom.
439
00:43:51,249 --> 00:43:53,449
No-one's following us.
440
00:43:53,449 --> 00:43:57,319
At least we got out
of that horrible dark cell.
441
00:43:58,049 --> 00:43:59,449
Stop pushing.
442
00:43:59,449 --> 00:44:01,439
We gave them the slip.
443
00:44:01,929 --> 00:44:04,729
- Stop turning around
- Follow me, stay close.
444
00:44:04,729 --> 00:44:06,119
Where are we?
445
00:44:07,129 --> 00:44:09,639
We're moving like a mad crab.
446
00:44:10,329 --> 00:44:14,279
Big scales, little scales,
capsules, jars
447
00:44:14,609 --> 00:44:17,249
It's all mechanical. What is this?
448
00:44:17,249 --> 00:44:21,519
I want to know what they're making
in this college.
449
00:44:23,009 --> 00:44:25,389
- Let's see. Ciccio!
- What is it?
450
00:44:29,769 --> 00:44:32,049
Look at all the lovely women!
451
00:44:32,049 --> 00:44:35,089
- What women, are you mad?
- They're beautiful, I can see them!
452
00:44:35,089 --> 00:44:37,769
- Come on. Follow me.
- Where to?
453
00:44:37,769 --> 00:44:40,849
- We have to get this rope off.
- Forget that, I want the girls!
454
00:44:40,849 --> 00:44:43,119
We'll use this handle.
455
00:44:43,249 --> 00:44:46,119
Rub against it.
Stop it! - Wait!
456
00:44:54,169 --> 00:44:55,309
Look!
457
00:44:58,609 --> 00:45:02,879
Look, she's got green eyes.
She's coming this way!
458
00:45:03,009 --> 00:45:06,649
- Command me, master
- A ham sandwich. - What?
459
00:45:06,649 --> 00:45:08,439
Untie this rope.
460
00:45:09,049 --> 00:45:12,319
Ciccio, there's more. Still more!
461
00:45:13,769 --> 00:45:17,529
Where are they coming from?
They're so beautiful.
462
00:45:17,529 --> 00:45:20,929
It's like being in a doll factory.
- A supermarket.
463
00:45:20,929 --> 00:45:25,159
- Gather round girls. We're right here.
- Easy now.
464
00:45:25,649 --> 00:45:28,249
We're two red-blooded Sicilians.
465
00:45:28,249 --> 00:45:30,849
Finally, we're free.
- Right let's get out of here.
466
00:45:30,849 --> 00:45:32,599
What? Are you mad?
467
00:45:33,169 --> 00:45:36,449
I'm staying here
to enjoy these natural splendors!
468
00:45:36,449 --> 00:45:40,289
I'm going to marry the lot.
Do you all know how to cook?
469
00:45:40,289 --> 00:45:42,959
Yes! We can cook, knit and dance.
470
00:45:45,329 --> 00:45:48,249
- They even dance!
- We can't, we're on duty.
471
00:45:48,249 --> 00:45:51,119
Duty? I'm on leave. Let's dance!
472
00:46:09,689 --> 00:46:12,439
Would you look at all these women!
473
00:46:13,609 --> 00:46:16,799
We're the luckiest men alive. Look!
474
00:46:29,609 --> 00:46:31,839
It's incredible!
475
00:46:37,369 --> 00:46:39,159
Just look at them!
476
00:48:24,769 --> 00:48:26,409
What's going on here?
477
00:48:26,409 --> 00:48:29,729
What is this?
- It's Goldfoot - I don't care!
478
00:48:29,729 --> 00:48:33,009
- Control yourselves! Stop this!
- Let's blend in.
479
00:48:33,009 --> 00:48:35,519
The party pooper's here.
480
00:48:48,249 --> 00:48:50,919
Even machines have bad days.
481
00:50:02,609 --> 00:50:06,149
It's a trick! Spies in the lab!
Emergency!
482
00:50:14,729 --> 00:50:18,129
They've kidnapped Rosanna.
There was a duplicate at her house.
483
00:50:18,129 --> 00:50:20,249
Goldfoot was trying to blow me up.
484
00:50:20,249 --> 00:50:22,689
Did you see her in there?
- I don't know a Rosanna.
485
00:50:22,689 --> 00:50:25,249
- And Ciccio?
I don't know anyone called Ciccio.
486
00:50:25,249 --> 00:50:29,169
I'm not going back in there!
Go and call the police.
487
00:50:29,169 --> 00:50:31,889
- What are you talking about?
- I'm scared.
488
00:50:31,889 --> 00:50:36,799
There's only two of us! Why risk it?
I don't know anything.
489
00:50:39,729 --> 00:50:44,479
Dear general Willis,
you're the last one alive, for now.
490
00:50:45,329 --> 00:50:47,359
Do you want to know why?
491
00:50:47,649 --> 00:50:51,249
- B-b-b-bec..
- Because I need to study you in detail.
492
00:50:51,249 --> 00:50:54,769
Every gesture and mannerism
if I'm to make good use...
493
00:50:54,769 --> 00:50:58,329
of our physical similarity,
so I can take your place.
494
00:50:58,329 --> 00:51:00,839
W-W-what do you intend to do?
495
00:51:02,169 --> 00:51:07,289
V-v-v... very simple. I'm taking your
place as Air Force commander.
496
00:51:07,289 --> 00:51:10,829
Y-y-you can't! R-r-release me at once!
497
00:51:14,689 --> 00:51:19,439
You'll regret this! I'll h-h-have you
shot like a d-dog!
498
00:51:22,249 --> 00:51:25,369
- Your command?
- I only clicked my fingers.
499
00:51:25,369 --> 00:51:28,799
Your fingers speak.
How may I serve you?
500
00:51:29,969 --> 00:51:34,409
Your target is in here. Caged.
Take care of him at once.
501
00:51:34,409 --> 00:51:36,529
That's right. Good girl.
502
00:51:36,529 --> 00:51:41,999
Only use half your explosive charge
while were in here. Go ahead.
503
00:51:50,969 --> 00:51:53,919
- Oh Willis!
- But I'm a married man.
504
00:52:16,449 --> 00:52:18,649
Command me, master.
505
00:52:18,649 --> 00:52:22,269
Listen carefully.
I order you to stay here.
506
00:52:23,169 --> 00:52:26,559
Kill any living creature that enters.
507
00:52:28,089 --> 00:52:31,729
- Kill any living creature.
- I leave you to your fate.
508
00:52:31,729 --> 00:52:32,869
Let's go.
509
00:52:51,889 --> 00:52:54,599
Kill all living creatures.
510
00:52:58,609 --> 00:52:59,799
A beetle!
511
00:53:09,969 --> 00:53:12,289
- I'm going.
- Come here.
512
00:53:12,289 --> 00:53:13,729
I'm scared!
513
00:53:13,729 --> 00:53:16,029
- Quiet!
- I'm scared
514
00:53:21,929 --> 00:53:25,089
The trap door is in the bathroom, right?
515
00:53:25,089 --> 00:53:28,769
I'm going in. Watch my back.
- You're leaving me alone?
516
00:53:28,769 --> 00:53:30,879
I'll raise the alarm!
517
00:53:43,689 --> 00:53:45,479
Woodworm!
518
00:53:57,489 --> 00:54:01,269
- Ciccio! You escaped. Me too!
- Tapeworm.
519
00:54:04,769 --> 00:54:08,969
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
It's me, your little Franky!
520
00:54:08,969 --> 00:54:10,109
Hug me!
521
00:54:15,969 --> 00:54:18,479
You're breaking my ribs!
522
00:54:21,169 --> 00:54:26,399
Killer! Traitor! How can you do this?
I've known you for years.
523
00:54:27,729 --> 00:54:30,079
We're brothers in arms.
524
00:54:30,889 --> 00:54:33,159
Don't come any closer!
525
00:54:33,489 --> 00:54:35,849
Kill all living creatures.
526
00:54:35,849 --> 00:54:37,799
No! Put the bar down!
527
00:54:40,169 --> 00:54:42,599
What are you doing in there?
528
00:54:55,329 --> 00:54:59,639
- Rosanna! - I'm Ciccio.
- I know, where's Rosanna?
529
00:55:08,889 --> 00:55:11,409
What did they do? Are you frozen?
530
00:55:11,409 --> 00:55:13,319
I'll defrost you.
531
00:55:16,249 --> 00:55:18,319
Predatory male.
532
00:55:19,849 --> 00:55:20,959
Look out!
533
00:56:02,209 --> 00:56:03,729
Poor Ciccio.
534
00:56:03,729 --> 00:56:06,329
Something must have driven him mad.
535
00:56:06,329 --> 00:56:09,479
Don't worry, this is just a duplicate.
536
00:56:10,329 --> 00:56:13,489
- Where's Goldfoot?
- I heard him use the secret passage.
537
00:56:13,489 --> 00:56:17,799
I think it's over there,
near where I was locked up.
538
00:56:27,329 --> 00:56:29,199
That's it! Come on.
539
00:56:50,409 --> 00:56:53,079
You wanted to kill me! We'll see!
540
00:56:54,569 --> 00:56:58,439
- What's happening?
- I'll kill you like a dog.
541
00:57:04,529 --> 00:57:06,959
What are you doing? Stop it!
542
00:57:08,089 --> 00:57:09,849
Are you crazy?
- Want some more?
543
00:57:09,849 --> 00:57:12,929
Listen! Goldfoot's escaped by car.
We have to follow him.
544
00:57:12,929 --> 00:57:16,599
There's no time to lose.
Hurry up, let's go!
545
00:57:16,849 --> 00:57:20,519
- Back-stabber. I'll show you!
- Move it!
546
00:57:30,329 --> 00:57:32,839
Here they come. Quickly!
547
00:57:55,769 --> 00:57:58,119
Where can they have gone?
548
00:58:02,529 --> 00:58:04,519
How did they get away?
549
00:58:04,889 --> 00:58:08,359
- I almost had them.
- Have you got a light?
550
00:58:14,689 --> 00:58:18,799
- They must be close by.
- They could be anywhere.
551
00:58:22,889 --> 00:58:24,479
What do we do now?
552
00:58:31,769 --> 00:58:34,639
- Ciccio! It's them!
- Get them
553
00:58:42,089 --> 00:58:46,439
Mr Tall Man! Have you seen
anyone go by from up there?
554
00:58:48,849 --> 00:58:52,849
Sorry. No speak Italian.
From giant pigmy tribe.
555
00:58:52,849 --> 00:58:55,919
Sorry to have bothered you. Let's go.
556
00:59:02,369 --> 00:59:03,919
Quickly.
557
00:59:07,009 --> 00:59:08,149
This way.
558
00:59:11,489 --> 00:59:13,679
They didn't notice.
559
00:59:19,129 --> 00:59:21,889
Hey you! Indecent behaviour
560
00:59:21,889 --> 00:59:24,449
I'd love to see their faces now.
561
00:59:25,289 --> 00:59:28,239
- You really want to?
- Of course.
562
00:59:33,969 --> 00:59:36,009
- Get off! Who's there?
- Let me out.
563
00:59:36,009 --> 00:59:40,009
- Please, wait! You can't park here.
- What are you two doing?
564
00:59:40,009 --> 00:59:42,799
Where are you going? Come back!
565
00:59:49,449 --> 00:59:51,239
Quickly, get in.
566
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:55,789
- That's a no-parking zone!
- I'll show you.
567
00:59:58,449 --> 01:00:01,039
You scoundrel, come here.
568
01:00:04,129 --> 01:00:06,559
Let him go.
- Stupid fool.
569
01:00:11,249 --> 01:00:13,519
Left hook, right hook.
570
01:00:13,849 --> 01:00:17,079
- He got away again.
- He left his cloak.
571
01:00:19,849 --> 01:00:23,549
Here come our guys.
- Quickly - Pass her to me.
572
01:00:26,369 --> 01:00:29,199
- There they go.
- After them!
573
01:00:32,689 --> 01:00:34,719
Come on, let's ride!
574
01:00:35,889 --> 01:00:37,439
Give me a steed.
575
01:00:40,929 --> 01:00:43,689
Take cover, they'll get you.
- I've got cover.
576
01:00:43,689 --> 01:00:45,799
Get off.
- What next?
577
01:00:46,009 --> 01:00:48,799
We'll get when they come round.
578
01:00:48,889 --> 01:00:50,239
You again!
579
01:00:56,969 --> 01:00:59,079
You can't park there!
580
01:00:59,729 --> 01:01:03,879
We'll follow them with the express.
Get on board!
581
01:01:15,329 --> 01:01:16,469
Stop!
582
01:01:18,089 --> 01:01:19,849
They've gone.
583
01:01:19,849 --> 01:01:22,849
- We've arrived.
- Oh, thanks.
584
01:01:22,849 --> 01:01:24,519
There they are!
585
01:01:25,169 --> 01:01:26,309
Run!
586
01:01:33,929 --> 01:01:35,399
No parking!
587
01:02:15,689 --> 01:02:17,199
Move your car!
588
01:02:18,449 --> 01:02:20,239
They took the car!
589
01:02:29,729 --> 01:02:32,529
Let's get in there,
we'll see where they're going.
590
01:02:32,529 --> 01:02:35,519
I've got you this time. Come on then!
591
01:02:39,849 --> 01:02:42,079
Run away! You cowards.
592
01:02:44,329 --> 01:02:47,599
Roll up folks! Take trip in the balloon.
593
01:02:51,369 --> 01:02:54,519
Just a moment, pay up.
- Quick, get in.
594
01:02:59,289 --> 01:03:00,799
Move your car!
595
01:03:00,969 --> 01:03:02,769
You're not getting away!
596
01:03:02,769 --> 01:03:05,169
Stop right there. It's full.
597
01:03:05,169 --> 01:03:07,039
What are you doing?
598
01:03:12,729 --> 01:03:15,839
There they are! The car's leaving.
599
01:03:18,929 --> 01:03:22,449
You cheating scoundrels!
- Who's that?
600
01:03:22,449 --> 01:03:25,989
- Murderers! Swine!
- It's still him.
601
01:03:29,449 --> 01:03:32,399
Do you have any scissors?
- Sure.
602
01:03:36,409 --> 01:03:37,549
Here.
603
01:03:44,009 --> 01:03:45,519
Alone at last.
604
01:03:45,929 --> 01:03:48,359
Idiot! What have you done?
605
01:03:48,489 --> 01:03:52,239
- I cut the rope.
- I noticed. Now what do we do?
606
01:03:56,089 --> 01:03:59,849
- We can play cards.
- We have to find Goldfoot.
607
01:03:59,849 --> 01:04:02,729
How are we supposed to steer?
- My cards! How could you?
608
01:04:02,729 --> 01:04:06,879
- How do we control this thing?
- Have you got a fan?
609
01:04:09,449 --> 01:04:10,839
Hands off!
610
01:04:16,369 --> 01:04:20,719
- As if that's going to help.
- Which way? Over there?
611
01:04:23,089 --> 01:04:24,599
And we're off!
612
01:04:25,409 --> 01:04:28,519
Please fasten your safety belts.
613
01:04:34,009 --> 01:04:37,079
"See you again, my Roman friends".
614
01:04:40,209 --> 01:04:41,479
Oh, stop it.
615
01:04:45,649 --> 01:04:48,679
There! He's already taking off.
616
01:04:49,089 --> 01:04:50,479
He's done it.
617
01:05:08,129 --> 01:05:12,799
Quick, let's follow them.
Turn the fan around. Faster!
618
01:05:19,049 --> 01:05:20,439
Faster!
619
01:05:22,289 --> 01:05:26,439
We've run out of juice!
How will we catch them now.
620
01:05:26,849 --> 01:05:30,369
I know a short cut. Turn right,
then left at the crossroads.
621
01:05:30,369 --> 01:05:32,279
He knows a short cut.
622
01:05:32,769 --> 01:05:35,849
- Are you sure?
- We might hit a typhoon.
623
01:05:35,849 --> 01:05:40,569
- I don't care, I've had my jabs.
- Idiot! It's not a disease.
624
01:05:40,569 --> 01:05:43,639
- So what is it?
- It's an Asian curry.
625
01:05:46,209 --> 01:05:49,449
- Bad weather's all we need.
- The barometer was wrong.
626
01:05:49,449 --> 01:05:51,199
We forgot to tap it!
627
01:05:54,129 --> 01:05:55,269
Look.
628
01:05:55,369 --> 01:05:58,119
A pigeon. What's he doing here?
629
01:05:58,849 --> 01:06:01,489
Shoo! Get lost, you stow away.
630
01:06:01,489 --> 01:06:04,729
- Leave him be, he's a carrier pigeon.
- How can you tell?
631
01:06:04,729 --> 01:06:08,249
- Look, he's carrying a bag.
- Where? Oh yes.
632
01:06:08,249 --> 01:06:10,479
Can we get you anything?
633
01:06:12,649 --> 01:06:14,679
Poor little thing.
634
01:06:17,369 --> 01:06:20,239
The death of an innocent pigeon!
635
01:06:23,289 --> 01:06:26,849
We're losing height.
We have to drop ballast.
636
01:06:26,849 --> 01:06:27,959
Quick.
637
01:06:28,169 --> 01:06:29,849
No time to waste.
638
01:06:29,849 --> 01:06:32,849
- Throw out anything we don't need.
- No, just the useless stuff.
639
01:06:32,849 --> 01:06:35,079
So what are you? Useful?
640
01:06:35,769 --> 01:06:37,519
We're flying!
641
01:06:42,009 --> 01:06:47,399
Look, the Chinese Wall!
- The Iron Curtain. Those are the Urals.
642
01:06:50,009 --> 01:06:51,359
You again!
643
01:06:54,249 --> 01:06:58,319
- Look who it is!
- You bastards. This isn't over!
644
01:07:01,689 --> 01:07:04,799
In a balloon! Against the traffic!
645
01:07:07,769 --> 01:07:11,439
Stay here! Forever!
It's what you deserve.
646
01:07:13,969 --> 01:07:18,639
I'll be waiting for you.
You'll be seeing me again soon.
647
01:07:21,009 --> 01:07:24,609
After this cloud, there's a bend.
We'll wait for Goldfoot there.
648
01:07:24,609 --> 01:07:28,389
- How do you know all this?
- Oh, it's nothing!
649
01:07:33,089 --> 01:07:34,229
Stop!
650
01:07:37,849 --> 01:07:40,309
Look! There's the plane.
651
01:07:47,329 --> 01:07:50,839
- Duck.
- Right, let's open the valves.
652
01:08:03,889 --> 01:08:05,029
Who is it?
653
01:08:05,369 --> 01:08:08,959
- Friends.
- Friends, that's nice!
654
01:08:09,369 --> 01:08:10,879
Just a moment.
655
01:08:18,849 --> 01:08:19,959
Quick!
656
01:08:20,889 --> 01:08:22,399
Quickly!
657
01:08:40,249 --> 01:08:41,999
Get off me will you?
658
01:09:00,249 --> 01:09:02,549
I'm a contortionist.
659
01:09:05,729 --> 01:09:07,959
Let go of my foot!
- Help.
660
01:09:21,529 --> 01:09:23,359
Somebody help me!
661
01:09:23,769 --> 01:09:25,559
That should do it.
662
01:09:38,009 --> 01:09:39,149
Here I am.
663
01:10:08,009 --> 01:10:10,799
It's not working.
- Allow me.
664
01:10:15,329 --> 01:10:19,479
My eyes! I can't see!
- Don't worry, I'll help you.
665
01:10:20,769 --> 01:10:24,279
This way please. Bye!
- Where's the step!
666
01:10:26,689 --> 01:10:29,009
Guess how the Chinese man died?
667
01:10:29,009 --> 01:10:33,559
Don't spoil the ending for me.
Where's the fun in that?
668
01:11:00,009 --> 01:11:03,169
Farewell, my friends, farewell.
I have to leave.
669
01:11:03,169 --> 01:11:07,519
I've taken care of everything.
The autopilot's on.
670
01:11:07,729 --> 01:11:11,569
In precisely 16 minutes, the H bomb
on board will hit the Kremlin.
671
01:11:11,569 --> 01:11:16,039
My plan will have its happy ending,
as I knew it would.
672
01:11:16,889 --> 01:11:19,409
No-one beats Goldfoot!
673
01:11:19,409 --> 01:11:21,869
Hardjob, where are you?
674
01:11:22,689 --> 01:11:24,959
- Here I am!
- Dearest.
675
01:11:25,769 --> 01:11:29,879
You're not Mary Poppins,
but you'll do. Come on.
676
01:11:31,769 --> 01:11:32,909
Let go of me.
677
01:11:43,529 --> 01:11:44,669
Blast!
678
01:11:51,169 --> 01:11:52,309
A ghost!
679
01:11:58,889 --> 01:12:02,559
We're safe, they've gone.
- The hell we are.
680
01:12:03,009 --> 01:12:07,929
The controls are locked, in a few
seconds, the bomb will hit Moscow.
681
01:12:07,929 --> 01:12:09,959
So? We're insured.
682
01:12:11,049 --> 01:12:13,249
Benson calling Willis, do you read me?
683
01:12:13,249 --> 01:12:15,649
I'm told you're flying over Russia,
have you gone mad?
684
01:12:15,649 --> 01:12:17,439
Respond at once.
685
01:12:18,049 --> 01:12:20,089
- Benson, it's me.
- Who's me?
686
01:12:20,089 --> 01:12:22,329
- It's Bill Dexter.
- You again!
687
01:12:22,329 --> 01:12:26,209
Your agents are with me.
They've done a great job.
688
01:12:26,209 --> 01:12:28,169
Do you want to speak to them?
689
01:12:28,169 --> 01:12:30,569
If I hear from them,
I'll have another heart attack.
690
01:12:30,569 --> 01:12:35,409
Where is general Willis?
- Goldfoot killed him to take his place.
691
01:12:35,409 --> 01:12:39,489
- We've dealt with him.
- Good, but you must turn around.
692
01:12:39,489 --> 01:12:42,329
We can't, the controls are locked.
693
01:12:42,329 --> 01:12:45,569
In eight minutes, the H bomb
will hit the Kremlin.
694
01:12:45,569 --> 01:12:49,049
- This is terrible.
- You're telling me!
695
01:12:49,049 --> 01:12:53,209
Right, I'm sending fighter planes
to shoot you down.
696
01:12:53,209 --> 01:12:55,879
Are you mad? What about the bomb?
697
01:12:56,089 --> 01:12:59,279
- True. Use my two agents.
- That's us.
698
01:13:00,369 --> 01:13:02,449
There are instructions near the bomb.
699
01:13:02,449 --> 01:13:06,289
Make sure you put on
protective suits before you begin.
700
01:13:06,289 --> 01:13:08,959
Okay guys, it's all up to you now.
701
01:13:26,369 --> 01:13:29,319
There's the bomb, get down there.
702
01:13:34,329 --> 01:13:39,599
- Why are we wearing these suits?
- To protect you from fallout.
703
01:13:41,049 --> 01:13:44,609
- Are we going to fall? I'm scared!
- Haven't you heard of Uranium?
704
01:13:44,609 --> 01:13:49,359
Of course. It's what the English use
in salad dressings.
705
01:13:50,569 --> 01:13:56,639
- No, it's a powder used in fireworks.
- Get on with it. Pass me the manual.
706
01:13:57,089 --> 01:13:59,439
Okay, okay! Here you are.
707
01:14:02,049 --> 01:14:05,769
If your bomb explodes accidentally
within it's first year,
708
01:14:05,769 --> 01:14:10,049
Hydrogen Ltd will be happy
to provide you with a replacement.
709
01:14:10,049 --> 01:14:11,839
Here, you read it.
710
01:14:15,409 --> 01:14:20,559
- Have you completed the registration?
- Is this bomb rented?
711
01:14:24,289 --> 01:14:26,799
Open panel HK carefully.
712
01:14:48,249 --> 01:14:49,559
Can we go now?
713
01:14:50,329 --> 01:14:53,869
Slowly turn rheostat B
from seven to zero.
714
01:14:55,889 --> 01:14:59,639
- Which one is it? - Don't touch!
- Okay, okay!
715
01:15:02,209 --> 01:15:06,129
- I wish you'd gone to university.
- I never had the time.
716
01:15:06,129 --> 01:15:08,489
Be careful. We can't afford mistakes,
717
01:15:08,489 --> 01:15:12,839
the bomb will drop in two minutes.
- Relax! We get it.
718
01:15:14,289 --> 01:15:18,559
- Are you sure that's right?
- Stop distracting me.
719
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:23,329
Carefully extract the silver contact...
720
01:15:23,329 --> 01:15:26,399
next to rheostat B. Do not allow it...
721
01:15:27,569 --> 01:15:30,129
to touch the red or green wires.
722
01:15:31,129 --> 01:15:34,399
Don't let the thingy touch the colours.
723
01:15:38,609 --> 01:15:44,679
Be extra careful. It's at this point
the bomb is almost certain to go off.
724
01:15:52,529 --> 01:15:56,229
There! The bomb's disarmed!
We're safe!
725
01:15:56,569 --> 01:15:58,359
Wait! Wait for us!
726
01:16:01,689 --> 01:16:02,829
Mummy!
727
01:16:05,889 --> 01:16:07,319
Hold tight!
728
01:16:12,369 --> 01:16:15,519
- What are you doing?
- Don't leave me!
729
01:16:18,409 --> 01:16:21,079
I couldn't live without you!
730
01:16:24,969 --> 01:16:28,479
- We're upside down.
- Don't move an inch!
731
01:16:30,969 --> 01:16:35,039
I'm not enjoying this at all.
I have to get a grip.
732
01:16:35,129 --> 01:16:36,999
Hold my hand tight!
733
01:16:41,409 --> 01:16:43,319
We're going down!
734
01:16:47,609 --> 01:16:50,609
Hallo, Benson? The bomb dropped,
but it didn't go off.
735
01:16:50,609 --> 01:16:54,799
- Well done, Bill.
- Your agents gave their lives.
736
01:16:55,209 --> 01:16:59,359
They sacrificed themselves
for all mankind.
737
01:16:59,489 --> 01:17:02,009
How do we get back?
The controls don't work.
738
01:17:02,009 --> 01:17:04,409
Didn't you know the world is round?
739
01:17:04,409 --> 01:17:09,409
Keep going, you'll get back
to your point of origin. Relax!
740
01:17:09,409 --> 01:17:11,479
Thanks, Benson!
741
01:17:14,249 --> 01:17:16,679
- Bless you.
- Thanks.
742
01:17:18,049 --> 01:17:20,919
- Where are we?
- How should I know?
743
01:17:25,129 --> 01:17:29,279
It's freezing here.
- Forty degrees in the shade.
744
01:17:32,369 --> 01:17:34,239
I can hear Russian.
745
01:17:34,849 --> 01:17:38,289
- How can you tell?
- I had a friend from France.
746
01:17:38,289 --> 01:17:40,559
- Look!
- Who are they?
747
01:17:43,209 --> 01:17:44,329
Comrades!
748
01:17:44,329 --> 01:17:45,679
Bless you.
749
01:17:46,169 --> 01:17:49,709
Greet them, like this.
Comrades, it's us!
750
01:17:50,289 --> 01:17:52,669
We saved the whole world!
751
01:17:53,369 --> 01:17:56,399
The Kremlin too.
- There's two?
752
01:17:56,609 --> 01:17:59,119
- From the H bomb!
- Oh, that.
753
01:18:03,249 --> 01:18:04,389
Let go!
754
01:18:05,049 --> 01:18:08,249
- You don't know who I am.
- This is Ciccio. - Thanks.
755
01:18:08,249 --> 01:18:11,119
I have relatives in high places.
756
01:18:11,609 --> 01:18:15,479
In 1947, my cousin
was a member of parliament.
757
01:18:22,769 --> 01:18:27,119
I've always said Bill Dexter
was a gifted young man.
758
01:18:27,849 --> 01:18:30,929
We'll have to make him
a secret agent with honors.
759
01:18:30,929 --> 01:18:32,319
Cheers!
760
01:18:34,089 --> 01:18:36,039
The President.
761
01:18:43,169 --> 01:18:46,609
Everything's in order, Mr President.
It all went well.
762
01:18:46,609 --> 01:18:50,009
The H bomb didn't explode.
In fact, it's buried in the snow.
763
01:18:50,009 --> 01:18:53,209
There will be no more
mention of this incident.
764
01:18:53,209 --> 01:18:57,049
If the Russians learn that any old
criminal can hi-jack a plane,
765
01:18:57,049 --> 01:18:59,769
and drop bombs on the Kremlin at will...
766
01:18:59,769 --> 01:19:02,369
the diplomatic implications
would be endless. Is that clear?
767
01:19:02,369 --> 01:19:04,409
Of course. I understand, but...
768
01:19:04,409 --> 01:19:08,129
I've nominated our agents
for the highest awards.
769
01:19:08,129 --> 01:19:10,289
You see...
- Cancel all that.
770
01:19:10,289 --> 01:19:12,609
Do you think this is
the time for publicity?
771
01:19:12,609 --> 01:19:18,319
- No of course not Mr President.
- So this operation never happened!
772
01:19:21,729 --> 01:19:24,959
We're innocent! We saved your lives.
773
01:19:26,569 --> 01:19:32,119
It's true! We've nothing against you.
I swear on my friend's life!
774
01:19:35,449 --> 01:19:38,799
Please forgive. I believe you say truth.
775
01:19:39,929 --> 01:19:42,719
Please, take seat. Have food.
776
01:19:49,569 --> 01:19:51,479
Please, sit. Eat!
777
01:19:52,769 --> 01:19:54,839
Salmon, caviar,
778
01:19:55,489 --> 01:19:58,049
bread, carrots, vodka.
779
01:19:59,169 --> 01:20:01,849
Green salad.
- What, no Russian salad?
780
01:20:01,849 --> 01:20:03,279
Never mind.
781
01:20:08,569 --> 01:20:09,919
Excuse me.
782
01:20:18,369 --> 01:20:19,999
The Germans!
783
01:20:30,009 --> 01:20:31,399
Cheers!
784
01:20:48,249 --> 01:20:49,849
This is colonel Benson.
785
01:20:49,849 --> 01:20:53,529
My dear captain, the two men
I mentioned are both impostors.
786
01:20:53,529 --> 01:20:57,479
- Is that so? Right.
- Arrest them immediately.
787
01:20:59,049 --> 01:21:03,279
They're a threat
to international relations.
788
01:21:03,969 --> 01:21:08,849
It's our boss. I recognise his voice.
He's inside the phone.
789
01:21:08,849 --> 01:21:12,879
Perhaps they're arranging a celebration.
790
01:21:15,289 --> 01:21:17,249
- In Moscow.
- No, it'll be Washington.
791
01:21:17,249 --> 01:21:18,969
- Moscow.
- Washington.
792
01:21:18,969 --> 01:21:24,049
Excuse me, will our award ceremony
be in Washington or Moscow?
793
01:21:24,049 --> 01:21:25,409
Siberia!
794
01:21:25,409 --> 01:21:27,199
I'm dying of cold!
795
01:21:27,369 --> 01:21:30,319
Mr Russia. Can we have July, please?
796
01:21:31,249 --> 01:21:33,279
"I hate the summer".
797
01:21:36,489 --> 01:21:38,249
What are you up to?
- I'm cold.
798
01:21:38,249 --> 01:21:40,649
- It's not a radiator.
- Just a little heat.
799
01:21:40,649 --> 01:21:43,849
- I need it for the spaghetti.
- You only ever think about food.
800
01:21:43,849 --> 01:21:47,469
What if I die of cold?
- Get out of my kitchen.
801
01:21:50,529 --> 01:21:53,329
- What are you doing?
- It's stuffy, I need fresh air.
802
01:21:53,329 --> 01:21:54,469
What air?
803
01:21:55,649 --> 01:21:57,289
Close it, there's a draft!
804
01:21:57,289 --> 01:22:01,769
Lunatic! Are you trying to kill me?
- Don't exaggerate! Go on.
805
01:22:01,769 --> 01:22:03,439
Just a bit of heat.
806
01:22:04,209 --> 01:22:07,719
- What's the current here?
- 125 watts.
807
01:22:13,489 --> 01:22:15,839
Hey, we've got a visitor.
808
01:22:16,409 --> 01:22:17,889
Good day, gentlemen.
809
01:22:17,889 --> 01:22:21,529
- What are you cooking?
- Spaghetti, Italian style.
810
01:22:21,529 --> 01:22:25,929
We invented spaghetti,
but here it's pronounced 'spaghyetti'.
811
01:22:25,929 --> 01:22:28,649
If you let me taste them,
I could use my influence...
812
01:22:28,649 --> 01:22:33,089
to get you into the Russian
secret service, the OGPU.
813
01:22:33,089 --> 01:22:35,079
Sure! Go ahead
814
01:22:38,729 --> 01:22:40,519
Please, come in.
815
01:22:41,329 --> 01:22:42,679
Excuse me.
816
01:22:47,249 --> 01:22:49,999
Pardon me, have we met already?
817
01:22:50,929 --> 01:22:54,969
No, I've never been here before.
You're sure they'll be good?
818
01:22:54,969 --> 01:22:58,319
Good? They'll be perfect! Observe.
819
01:22:59,169 --> 01:23:02,319
Close the lid! Close it, I'm freezing!
820
01:23:02,849 --> 01:23:06,279
Close it! The film is finished!
Close it!
821
01:23:07,849 --> 01:23:10,279
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