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1
00:00:00,349 --> 00:00:02,917
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:10,074
3
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:24,672
You're gonna be a
beautiful bride, Topanga.
4
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:28,409
Thanks, Mom. I just want everything
to be so perfect for Cory.
5
00:00:28,477 --> 00:00:30,044
I love him so much.
6
00:00:30,146 --> 00:00:32,113
This whole day is
just full of love!
7
00:00:32,147 --> 00:00:33,881
I hate him!
8
00:00:33,949 --> 00:00:37,485
He's a self-centered, whining,
demanding, miserable little white boy.
9
00:00:37,553 --> 00:00:39,086
What happened,
my brother?
10
00:00:39,154 --> 00:00:40,888
"Get the tuxedos,
pumice my toes,
11
00:00:40,956 --> 00:00:42,923
"tie the cans
to the car!"
12
00:00:42,991 --> 00:00:45,660
I'm his best man,
not his hamster!
13
00:00:45,727 --> 00:00:47,162
But you got the tuxes, right?
14
00:00:47,229 --> 00:00:49,197
You two deserve
each other.
15
00:00:49,264 --> 00:00:52,099
Um, Shawn, what is
really bothering you?
16
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:53,668
Cory is really
bothering me!
17
00:00:53,735 --> 00:00:55,603
I don't know what
I ever saw in him.
18
00:00:55,671 --> 00:00:57,338
Shawn...
(LAUGHS)
19
00:00:57,406 --> 00:00:59,574
See, this is
my wedding day,
20
00:00:59,641 --> 00:01:03,377
and I would really appreciate
it if there wasn't any tension.
21
00:01:03,445 --> 00:01:06,147
I don't care. If somebody
abuses me, I lash out.
22
00:01:06,215 --> 00:01:08,182
Nobody is abusing
anybody!
23
00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:10,618
This is my wedding day.
How dare you?
24
00:01:10,686 --> 00:01:12,554
Ah. Could somebody help
me out here, please?
25
00:01:12,621 --> 00:01:14,722
No, see, the best man
cannot hate the groom.
26
00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:16,490
No, you're gonna ruin
my wedding pictures.
27
00:01:16,792 --> 00:01:18,393
Honey, you're
killing him.
28
00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:20,561
Dad! I'm comin', Dad!
29
00:01:20,628 --> 00:01:23,897
Topanga, if he dies, then
the best man is Eric.
30
00:01:23,965 --> 00:01:26,066
Then we don't want him to die.
No. No, we don't.
31
00:01:26,168 --> 00:01:28,402
(GASPING) You okay?
Okay. Good boy.
32
00:01:30,772 --> 00:01:32,573
They're both psycho.
33
00:01:32,641 --> 00:01:34,876
How can there be anything
wrong between you and Cory?
34
00:01:34,943 --> 00:01:36,710
You love him
more than I do.
35
00:01:36,778 --> 00:01:38,112
It's true, but
I'm okay with it.
36
00:01:40,516 --> 00:01:41,949
What's goin' on?
37
00:01:42,016 --> 00:01:44,252
Our entire friendship has
always been about him.
38
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,154
How does Cory feel?
What is Cory thinking?
39
00:01:47,222 --> 00:01:49,023
Come on, Shawn,
what's this really about?
40
00:01:50,092 --> 00:01:51,626
You know...
41
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,362
You think on his wedding day he'd
realize how hard this is for me.
42
00:02:02,204 --> 00:02:03,571
Where's my best man?
43
00:02:03,639 --> 00:02:04,839
Don't know.
ERIC: Should've picked me!
44
00:02:04,973 --> 00:02:06,441
Wait a minute. He's not here yet?
Should've picked me!
45
00:02:06,508 --> 00:02:08,510
What's his problem? I'm getting
married in four hours!
46
00:02:08,577 --> 00:02:10,277
Okay, you know what? I think
it's time for the older brother
47
00:02:10,345 --> 00:02:12,347
to give the younger brother the
pre-wedding sex talk, okay?
48
00:02:12,414 --> 00:02:13,347
Oh, goody.
49
00:02:15,017 --> 00:02:17,818
You? I'm gettin'
advice from you?
50
00:02:17,853 --> 00:02:21,155
Take notes, Mommy. Eric Matthews is
givin' lessons in human boinging.
51
00:02:22,391 --> 00:02:24,325
Oh, no, no,
no, no, no.
52
00:02:24,392 --> 00:02:28,896
All right, lesson one. Sex without
love is empty and hollow.
53
00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:31,532
And that's just the
way we men like it! Huh!
54
00:02:34,636 --> 00:02:38,305
Eric, you're completely missing
the beauty of human sexuality.
55
00:02:38,373 --> 00:02:40,007
It's not just
a physical act,
56
00:02:40,075 --> 00:02:44,144
it's the intimacy between two
people sharing their souls.
57
00:02:44,212 --> 00:02:45,513
Maybe for
old people.
58
00:02:47,215 --> 00:02:48,549
You know,
you're all crazy.
59
00:02:50,352 --> 00:02:52,921
I can't believe Shawn! I can't
believe he's not here yet!
60
00:02:52,988 --> 00:02:55,423
I mean, what is so hard
about remembering the tuxedos,
61
00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:57,358
the wedding cake
and the rings?
62
00:02:57,426 --> 00:02:59,193
Fire Shawn. You
know you want to.
63
00:02:59,261 --> 00:03:00,795
Come on, give me the
job! I'm your brother.
64
00:03:00,863 --> 00:03:02,496
We both came out
of our daddy's womb!
65
00:03:02,564 --> 00:03:04,599
Cory, you and Shawn
are best friends,
66
00:03:04,666 --> 00:03:07,034
and you're going to
stay best friends.
67
00:03:07,102 --> 00:03:08,802
Are we?
What?
68
00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:11,539
Because where is my best
friend with the tuxedos?
69
00:03:11,607 --> 00:03:14,742
Why is my best friend trying
to sabotage my wedding day?
70
00:03:14,809 --> 00:03:16,377
Now I'm sabotaging
your wedding day?
71
00:03:16,445 --> 00:03:18,045
Where are the tuxedos?
I don't have them yet.
72
00:03:18,113 --> 00:03:19,713
What do you mean,
you don't have them yet?
73
00:03:19,781 --> 00:03:22,050
I've been outside tying tin cans
to the Volvo for the last hour.
74
00:03:22,117 --> 00:03:24,152
My fingers
are bleeding.
75
00:03:24,219 --> 00:03:25,853
We don't have a Volvo.
What?
76
00:03:25,921 --> 00:03:27,288
We don't have a Volvo.
We have a Chevy.
77
00:03:27,355 --> 00:03:28,990
Well, who has a Volvo?
78
00:03:28,992 --> 00:03:30,858
Who's been tying
cans to my car?
79
00:03:30,925 --> 00:03:32,025
He did.
80
00:03:32,093 --> 00:03:34,061
This is too
much pressure.
81
00:03:34,129 --> 00:03:36,731
Shawn, what's the matter, buddy? I mean,
you're really letting me down here.
82
00:03:36,798 --> 00:03:39,834
Cory, has it occurred
to you even a little bit that,
83
00:03:39,901 --> 00:03:43,637
as far as you and me go, today is the
last day that we're ever gonna be
84
00:03:43,705 --> 00:03:45,906
"Cory and Shawn"?
85
00:03:45,974 --> 00:03:48,275
You know?
"Shawn and Cory"?
86
00:03:53,148 --> 00:03:55,149
Beans?
You picked beans?
87
00:03:55,216 --> 00:03:56,984
What's the matter
with beans?
88
00:03:57,052 --> 00:03:59,353
Beans are not a wedding can!
Why not?
89
00:03:59,421 --> 00:04:02,523
Because beans do not say
"eternal love and happiness!"
90
00:04:02,591 --> 00:04:03,725
I know what they say!
91
00:04:03,792 --> 00:04:05,693
Cory, I'm tryin' to talk
to you about something.
92
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,795
I don't wanna talk about it now.
Why not?
93
00:04:07,863 --> 00:04:09,796
Did you pick up the honeymoon
tickets from the travel agent?
94
00:04:09,864 --> 00:04:11,399
What's the matter
with you?
95
00:04:11,466 --> 00:04:13,468
Hey, hey! Guys! No, no, no.
Dad, please!
96
00:04:13,535 --> 00:04:15,135
I just want a guy
97
00:04:15,203 --> 00:04:17,739
who can pick up the tuxedos
and tie some cans together.
98
00:04:17,806 --> 00:04:19,606
I just wanna talk
to you about this.
99
00:04:19,674 --> 00:04:21,709
Shawn! I just want
a competent best man!
100
00:04:21,777 --> 00:04:24,412
Then get a new one!
101
00:04:24,479 --> 00:04:26,981
What did you say? I said,
get a new best man!
102
00:04:29,551 --> 00:04:31,151
(EXCLAIMS)
103
00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:33,321
Cory, what I think
we've got here
104
00:04:33,388 --> 00:04:34,988
is a best man who's
folded under the pressure.
105
00:04:35,224 --> 00:04:36,557
Don't worry about it.
106
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,960
I'll pick up the tuxedos. I'll
tie the cans to the Subaru.
107
00:04:39,027 --> 00:04:40,094
It's all taken care of.
108
00:04:44,032 --> 00:04:45,499
You can be an usher.
109
00:04:45,567 --> 00:04:46,968
I don't wanna
be an usher.
110
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,436
What, do you wanna walk my
Nana Boo Boo down the aisle?
111
00:04:49,504 --> 00:04:51,639
I don't wanna walk
Nana Boo Boo anywhere.
112
00:04:51,707 --> 00:04:54,008
What do you
wanna do, Shawn?
113
00:04:54,142 --> 00:04:56,444
I don't wanna
do anything.
114
00:04:56,511 --> 00:04:57,978
You don't wanna do
anything at my wedding?
115
00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,313
No, I'm not going
to your wedding!
116
00:04:59,381 --> 00:05:01,148
Fine! Then don't go!
117
00:05:14,196 --> 00:05:17,031
All right, all right.
I just spoke to Shawn,
118
00:05:17,098 --> 00:05:19,133
and I'm sure he'll forgive
you if you just, you know,
119
00:05:19,201 --> 00:05:20,467
give him a call.
120
00:05:20,469 --> 00:05:23,637
Shawn can kiss my
groom tuchas in hell!
121
00:05:23,705 --> 00:05:26,774
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the best best man of all?
122
00:05:26,842 --> 00:05:29,577
(IN CARTOONISH VOICE)
You are, Eric. You are.
123
00:05:29,644 --> 00:05:32,146
Hey, moron, where
are the tuxedos?
124
00:05:32,214 --> 00:05:33,947
Oh, in the limo, baby.
125
00:05:33,982 --> 00:05:35,082
What limo, baby?
126
00:05:35,149 --> 00:05:36,984
The limo that's taking
us all to Cory's wedding.
127
00:05:37,051 --> 00:05:39,487
You don't actually think I'd let him
get married in this dump, do you?
128
00:05:39,554 --> 00:05:42,055
Eric, what did you do? Ooh, no time, Mom.
We're on a schedule.
129
00:05:42,123 --> 00:05:45,126
Okay, the girls are already on their
way, so we gotta move, people.
130
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,729
We gotta move, people!
Move, people!
131
00:05:49,798 --> 00:05:52,333
Nice legs, Feeny.
132
00:05:52,434 --> 00:05:54,669
Tell Shawn my new best
man just got me a limo.
133
00:05:54,736 --> 00:05:57,138
Before or after the "groom
tuchas in hell"? You decide.
134
00:05:57,206 --> 00:05:59,807
Is this gonna be
very, very bad?
135
00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:01,275
Mmm... We'll see.
136
00:06:12,353 --> 00:06:16,991
Eric, this is the
Philadelphia Victorian Hotel!
137
00:06:17,058 --> 00:06:18,792
Very nice!
138
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:20,027
This is an Eric thing!
139
00:06:20,094 --> 00:06:22,496
This is an Eric thing?
140
00:06:22,564 --> 00:06:23,764
I'm not payin'
for this.
141
00:06:23,832 --> 00:06:26,133
You never made any real
money, did you, Dad?
142
00:06:26,201 --> 00:06:29,403
No, but I had you,
so I'm twice cursed.
143
00:06:29,471 --> 00:06:31,406
Eric, what is
the deal here?
144
00:06:31,473 --> 00:06:33,607
Look, the deal is this is the most
important day in my little brother's life,
145
00:06:33,675 --> 00:06:34,941
and I came
through, okay?
146
00:06:35,009 --> 00:06:37,278
So either you can
have a great time,
147
00:06:37,345 --> 00:06:41,481
or you can be all cynical and think
something fishy is going on.
148
00:06:41,549 --> 00:06:44,585
Is everything to your
satisfaction, Mr. Peterman?
149
00:06:46,021 --> 00:06:47,454
Indeed it is...
150
00:06:48,457 --> 00:06:50,224
Mr. Peterman.
151
00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:52,426
You let us know
if you need anything,
152
00:06:52,493 --> 00:06:54,829
Mr. Peterman.
153
00:06:54,896 --> 00:06:57,164
Okay. Go away now.
Go, go away.
154
00:06:57,232 --> 00:06:58,232
Bye.
155
00:06:58,299 --> 00:06:59,299
(CHUCKLING)
156
00:07:01,102 --> 00:07:04,705
Why you all
lookin' at me?
157
00:07:04,773 --> 00:07:07,675
Do you think anything's gonna change
between us after I get married?
158
00:07:07,742 --> 00:07:09,076
No. Nothing
is gonna change.
159
00:07:09,144 --> 00:07:11,679
Just because you're moving out,
and you're setting up house,
160
00:07:11,747 --> 00:07:13,180
and you're gonna be
with Cory all the time,
161
00:07:13,248 --> 00:07:15,048
and maybe have
kids someday...
162
00:07:15,116 --> 00:07:17,451
Gosh, I am never gonna
see you again, am I?
163
00:07:18,386 --> 00:07:19,821
Ohh.
Ohh.
164
00:07:19,921 --> 00:07:21,989
Do you want me
to call it off?
165
00:07:22,056 --> 00:07:23,858
I want you
to be happy.
166
00:07:23,925 --> 00:07:25,860
I want you to
be happy, too.
167
00:07:25,927 --> 00:07:28,763
I want you to
be happy three!
168
00:07:28,831 --> 00:07:30,697
You're getting
married today!
169
00:07:30,765 --> 00:07:31,932
(ALL SCREAMING)
170
00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:34,935
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
171
00:08:06,835 --> 00:08:09,035
You are very hot.
172
00:08:15,243 --> 00:08:16,477
(WHISPERS)
Thanks.
173
00:08:20,248 --> 00:08:22,616
Hey, ring boy,
174
00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:23,684
where are the rings?
175
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:26,887
That's your job, slick.
I'm just here to look cute.
176
00:08:29,657 --> 00:08:31,458
(LAUGHING) It's okay,
don't worry about it.
177
00:08:32,928 --> 00:08:34,762
You forgot the
rings, didn't you?
178
00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:36,697
Yes, but I remembered
my underwear!
179
00:08:36,764 --> 00:08:38,666
Okay.
No, I didn't!
180
00:08:41,503 --> 00:08:43,170
(WEDDING MARCH BEGINS)
181
00:09:12,534 --> 00:09:14,402
Be good to each other.
182
00:09:20,241 --> 00:09:23,276
We've waited for this
moment all our lives.
183
00:09:23,344 --> 00:09:25,212
What are you thinking?
184
00:09:26,481 --> 00:09:29,383
I can't believe
Shawn's not here.
185
00:09:29,451 --> 00:09:30,817
I love you, too.
186
00:09:39,227 --> 00:09:42,530
Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here today
187
00:09:42,597 --> 00:09:46,400
to witness the wedding
of Myra and Harold.
188
00:09:48,603 --> 00:09:50,937
Just keep goin'.
Just keep goin'.
189
00:09:53,608 --> 00:09:57,244
And now, a song from
the mother of the groom,
190
00:09:57,312 --> 00:09:59,113
Mrs. Florence Peterman.
191
00:09:59,915 --> 00:10:01,816
I think that's you.
192
00:10:06,287 --> 00:10:08,155
(PLAYING INTRODUCTION)
193
00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:14,395
(SINGING I LOVE YOU TRULY)
194
00:10:20,836 --> 00:10:23,203
Hey, you're gonna
need these rings.
195
00:10:23,271 --> 00:10:25,506
Shawnie! I knew
you'd come.
196
00:10:25,574 --> 00:10:27,207
I wouldn't miss
this, Cory.
197
00:10:27,275 --> 00:10:30,011
Look, I am so sorry for all
the stuff that happened.
198
00:10:30,078 --> 00:10:32,513
Well, you should be, but
we'll talk about it
199
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:34,548
after you get back from
the honeymoon, okay?
200
00:10:35,517 --> 00:10:36,483
Wait a minute.
201
00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:38,752
What do you mean,
I should be?
202
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,754
Cory, you've been
being a jerk to me.
203
00:10:40,822 --> 00:10:43,023
That's because you're the one
that forgot the tuxedos,
204
00:10:43,091 --> 00:10:45,425
and you're the one that
didn't tie the tin cans.
205
00:10:45,493 --> 00:10:47,561
It's like you're trying to
sabotage my wedding day!
206
00:10:47,628 --> 00:10:49,430
That is ridiculous!
207
00:10:49,497 --> 00:10:52,232
If I wanted to sabotage
your wedding day,
208
00:10:53,335 --> 00:10:54,201
I'd do this.
209
00:10:56,404 --> 00:10:57,538
(CORY LAUGHS)
210
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,506
Boy, oh, boy.
211
00:10:59,574 --> 00:11:02,309
You, uh... You do
not wanna do that.
212
00:11:03,144 --> 00:11:04,211
Get him, Topanga!
213
00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:07,180
You know what?
214
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,716
I shouldn't have even come here.
Have a wonderful life, jerk.
215
00:11:10,585 --> 00:11:12,719
You, too, trailer trash!
216
00:11:14,255 --> 00:11:15,923
(LAUGHING)
Shawn's poor!
217
00:11:18,393 --> 00:11:20,193
(MUSIC AND SINGING STOP)
218
00:11:20,195 --> 00:11:22,329
(CORY AND SHAWN SCREAMING)
219
00:11:22,331 --> 00:11:24,031
ALAN: Hey, hey, hey!
220
00:11:24,099 --> 00:11:26,466
This is my
wedding day!
221
00:11:26,534 --> 00:11:28,602
I've waited
my whole...
222
00:11:28,670 --> 00:11:31,872
You're doing a great job. Just try not to
use the word "Peterman" anymore, all right?
223
00:11:31,874 --> 00:11:34,641
He doesn't care that we're not
gonna be friends anymore!
224
00:11:34,676 --> 00:11:36,142
Why do you keep
sayin' that, huh?
225
00:11:36,210 --> 00:11:37,678
Why do you have to
keep bringing that up?
226
00:11:37,745 --> 00:11:39,346
Because you won't
talk about it!
227
00:11:39,414 --> 00:11:40,614
I don't wanna
talk about it!
228
00:11:40,682 --> 00:11:42,516
Why do you think I've been
sending you everywhere?
229
00:11:42,584 --> 00:11:44,518
We have to
talk about it!
230
00:11:44,586 --> 00:11:46,520
I don't want to!
231
00:11:48,189 --> 00:11:50,124
We have to!
232
00:11:50,792 --> 00:11:51,958
Now?
233
00:11:54,996 --> 00:11:56,363
Cory.
234
00:11:56,431 --> 00:12:00,501
After you get married, things
are gonna be different,
235
00:12:00,568 --> 00:12:02,469
and I don't have a lot
of friends, you know?
236
00:12:07,408 --> 00:12:10,944
Shawnie, I... I don't
know what's gonna happen.
237
00:12:13,181 --> 00:12:15,215
What do you
want me to do?
238
00:12:17,452 --> 00:12:18,918
I don't know.
239
00:12:21,789 --> 00:12:23,690
Do you really
like her?
240
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,628
Yeah, I really do.
241
00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:31,731
You sure?
242
00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:34,635
Shawn,
243
00:12:34,702 --> 00:12:37,604
I really think I've been
very tolerant here.
244
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,041
Okay.
245
00:12:43,478 --> 00:12:44,911
Marry her.
246
00:12:44,979 --> 00:12:47,214
You're giving me
your blessing?
247
00:12:48,216 --> 00:12:49,650
Yeah, well...
248
00:12:51,018 --> 00:12:52,252
We gotta grow up
sometime.
249
00:12:57,659 --> 00:13:00,760
I wasn't sure this
day would ever come,
250
00:13:00,828 --> 00:13:02,962
but you were.
251
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:06,700
I wasn't sure that love could survive
everything that we put it through,
252
00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:09,035
but you were.
253
00:13:09,103 --> 00:13:12,939
You were always strong
and always sure.
254
00:13:13,007 --> 00:13:17,143
And now I know that I want you to stand
beside me for the rest of my life.
255
00:13:17,812 --> 00:13:19,779
That's what I'm sure of.
256
00:13:25,787 --> 00:13:28,088
I have to talk
to her now, okay?
257
00:13:30,025 --> 00:13:31,225
Go ahead.
Okay.
258
00:13:34,763 --> 00:13:35,862
Um...
259
00:13:38,066 --> 00:13:41,335
Ever since I was young,
260
00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:45,839
I never really understood
anything about the world,
261
00:13:45,907 --> 00:13:49,743
and I never understood anything
that happened in my life.
262
00:13:50,912 --> 00:13:52,912
The only thing
263
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:55,449
that ever made sense
to me was you
264
00:13:57,018 --> 00:13:59,219
and how I felt about you.
265
00:14:01,356 --> 00:14:04,191
That's all I've ever known
266
00:14:06,494 --> 00:14:09,396
and that's enough.
267
00:14:09,464 --> 00:14:12,899
That's enough for me for
the rest of my life, Topanga.
268
00:14:17,271 --> 00:14:19,172
We gonna get married?
269
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,207
Yeah, we are.
270
00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:24,044
Good. Good, 'cause...
271
00:14:24,112 --> 00:14:27,380
(SNIFFLES)
Um... I have these rings.
272
00:14:32,187 --> 00:14:33,921
I love you, Topanga.
273
00:14:34,588 --> 00:14:36,090
I love you, too, Cory.
274
00:14:46,201 --> 00:14:47,500
MINISTER:
Do you take this man
275
00:14:47,568 --> 00:14:49,736
to be your lawfully
wedded husband,
276
00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:52,605
to have and to hold,
to cherish and adore,
277
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,340
from this day forward,
278
00:14:54,408 --> 00:14:57,978
in sickness and in health, as
long as you both shall live?
279
00:15:00,014 --> 00:15:02,649
I do.
280
00:15:02,717 --> 00:15:05,885
And do you take this woman to
be your lawfully wedded wife,
281
00:15:05,953 --> 00:15:08,422
to have and to hold,
to cherish and adore,
282
00:15:08,489 --> 00:15:10,090
from this day forward,
283
00:15:10,157 --> 00:15:13,726
in sickness and in health, as
long as you both shall live?
284
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:17,931
I do.
285
00:15:19,567 --> 00:15:21,634
Then by the power vested in me
286
00:15:21,702 --> 00:15:24,271
by the commonwealth
of Pennsylvania,
287
00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:27,107
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
288
00:15:27,175 --> 00:15:29,142
You may kiss the bride.
(LAUGHS)
289
00:15:33,248 --> 00:15:34,747
Ladies and gentlemen,
290
00:15:34,815 --> 00:15:36,716
family and friends,
291
00:15:36,784 --> 00:15:39,653
I present to you,
for the first time ever,
292
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:42,656
Mr. and Mrs. Harold Peterman.
293
00:15:46,094 --> 00:15:47,995
It's okay!
All right, Harold!
294
00:16:02,510 --> 00:16:04,878
Maybe we could go
somewhere later.
295
00:16:07,481 --> 00:16:09,182
Mr. Feeny, help.
296
00:16:11,119 --> 00:16:12,585
Scram, zippy.
297
00:16:14,455 --> 00:16:16,689
This was an
amazing wedding.
298
00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:18,024
It's fabulous.
299
00:16:18,092 --> 00:16:19,960
How could Eric have
pulled this thing off?
300
00:16:20,027 --> 00:16:23,363
That's the first thing I'll ask
him when I visit him in Attica.
301
00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:26,699
Excuse me.
May we cut in?
302
00:16:27,568 --> 00:16:28,635
Yes.
303
00:16:31,572 --> 00:16:34,041
Cory, I'm so
proud of you.
304
00:16:34,109 --> 00:16:36,010
Thank you, Mama.
305
00:16:36,077 --> 00:16:37,978
And even though you're
a married man now,
306
00:16:38,046 --> 00:16:41,582
you are still our little boy,
and we love you very much.
307
00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:45,952
And when he makes you
nuts, you call me. Hmm?
308
00:16:47,288 --> 00:16:48,755
Thanks... Dad.
309
00:16:50,091 --> 00:16:51,758
(GLASSES CLINKING)
310
00:16:51,826 --> 00:16:53,293
I'd like to propose a toast.
311
00:16:57,365 --> 00:17:00,567
(SIGHS) This is for
Harold and Myra.
312
00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:03,236
(CHUCKLES) What's
up with that, Eric?
313
00:17:03,304 --> 00:17:04,838
Nothin'. Just talk
fast, all right?
314
00:17:07,075 --> 00:17:10,711
Well, there is something
I'd like to say.
315
00:17:10,778 --> 00:17:14,681
I may not be the best man,
but I am the best friend.
316
00:17:14,749 --> 00:17:17,317
Cory and I have been
best friends all our lives.
317
00:17:17,385 --> 00:17:19,319
And, um,
318
00:17:19,387 --> 00:17:20,888
this wedding's been
kind of hard for me
319
00:17:20,955 --> 00:17:24,958
because I know, no matter how much
we may avoid talking about it,
320
00:17:25,026 --> 00:17:28,361
Cory and I aren't gonna be
best friends forever.
321
00:17:29,931 --> 00:17:32,665
Things are changing
between us.
322
00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,968
Things have always
been changing.
323
00:17:35,036 --> 00:17:36,436
We've had to
deal with life
324
00:17:37,505 --> 00:17:38,671
and death.
325
00:17:39,507 --> 00:17:40,907
And Feeny.
326
00:17:43,678 --> 00:17:48,015
But no matter what we faced,
we always faced it together.
327
00:17:48,082 --> 00:17:51,885
So, then, how can we possibly be upset
with each other on his wedding day?
328
00:17:53,421 --> 00:17:55,689
Well,
329
00:17:55,756 --> 00:18:00,260
it's because deep down,
I think Cory and I both know
330
00:18:00,328 --> 00:18:03,197
that we're not gonna be
best friends anymore.
331
00:18:06,568 --> 00:18:08,869
And that's the way
it should be.
332
00:18:10,337 --> 00:18:12,305
So this is to Topanga,
333
00:18:13,407 --> 00:18:14,908
Cory's wife
334
00:18:15,777 --> 00:18:17,544
and new best friend.
335
00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:24,717
Take care of him, okay?
336
00:18:24,785 --> 00:18:26,819
(CRYING)
I will.
337
00:18:26,887 --> 00:18:29,456
And when he makes
you nuts, call me.
338
00:18:30,391 --> 00:18:31,424
I will.
339
00:18:35,763 --> 00:18:37,364
To Cory and Topanga!
340
00:18:37,432 --> 00:18:39,299
ALL: Cory and Topanga!
341
00:18:40,835 --> 00:18:44,737
And now, I would like
to give my gift
342
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:50,076
to my little brother
and new sister-in-law.
343
00:18:50,144 --> 00:18:51,912
Eric, this wedding
was more than enough.
344
00:18:51,979 --> 00:18:54,181
Yeah, it was,
wasn't it?
345
00:18:54,248 --> 00:18:57,184
But I do have one more
thing up my sleeve.
346
00:18:57,251 --> 00:18:59,987
I hold in
my hand a key.
347
00:19:00,054 --> 00:19:02,789
A key to the
honeymoon suite
348
00:19:02,856 --> 00:19:05,692
of the Philadelphia
Victoria Hotel.
349
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:06,893
So that
after this...
350
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,394
Bye!
Whoo!
351
00:19:11,465 --> 00:19:12,665
All right!
352
00:19:14,735 --> 00:19:16,769
All right.
All right, Eric.
353
00:19:16,837 --> 00:19:18,472
You spill it right now.
354
00:19:18,539 --> 00:19:21,074
Yeah, how could you
possibly arrange all this?
355
00:19:21,142 --> 00:19:23,243
Oh, it was child's play.
356
00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:25,279
I'm pickin' up the tuxes, right?
Right.
357
00:19:25,346 --> 00:19:28,314
And I see next door that they're settin'
up for this hoity-toity Peterman wedding.
358
00:19:28,382 --> 00:19:30,284
Wait a minute, the
disposable diaper Petermans?
359
00:19:30,351 --> 00:19:32,019
Yeah, them Petermans.
360
00:19:32,021 --> 00:19:33,886
Their wedding is the
social event of the year.
361
00:19:33,954 --> 00:19:35,822
Yeah, well, now it's not.
362
00:19:37,225 --> 00:19:38,558
What did you do?
363
00:19:38,626 --> 00:19:39,826
Nothin'. I just went out
to the pay phone
364
00:19:39,894 --> 00:19:41,061
and I called the operator,
365
00:19:41,129 --> 00:19:43,196
and she said, "What hotel?"
And I told her.
366
00:19:43,264 --> 00:19:45,832
And while she was gettin' the number,
I looked down at the receiver
367
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:47,367
and there was some
kind of schmutz on it.
368
00:19:47,434 --> 00:19:49,602
I'm not sure if it
was dried vomit or gum.
369
00:19:49,670 --> 00:19:51,037
It tasted more like gum...
370
00:19:51,105 --> 00:19:53,440
Get on with it!
371
00:19:53,507 --> 00:19:57,377
I told them that I was E.J. Peterman,
and I had to get my daughter married
372
00:19:57,444 --> 00:19:58,912
sooner because
she was pregnant.
373
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:00,380
(CHUCKLES)
374
00:20:00,447 --> 00:20:02,281
So drink up, guys!
375
00:20:02,350 --> 00:20:04,584
'Cause it's gonna hit the fan
in about, like, two seconds.
376
00:20:06,787 --> 00:20:11,190
What kind of unbelievable hotel moron
would fall for something that stupid?
377
00:20:11,759 --> 00:20:12,825
Mmm...
378
00:20:13,894 --> 00:20:15,027
Him.
379
00:20:22,970 --> 00:20:25,104
(IN FOREIGN ACCENT) Is everything
quite satisfactory, Mr. Peterman?
380
00:20:25,172 --> 00:20:27,039
Oh, quite, quite.
381
00:20:27,107 --> 00:20:29,976
You run a tight ship here, young fellow,
and you're a good-looking man. I hope...
382
00:20:30,043 --> 00:20:32,546
MAN: What the hell
is going on here?
383
00:20:33,247 --> 00:20:34,180
Uh-oh.
384
00:20:37,085 --> 00:20:39,452
I'm E.J. Peterman.
385
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:40,954
Party's over,
isn't it?
386
00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:44,591
And I demand to know just what
the hell is going on here!
387
00:20:44,659 --> 00:20:46,192
Oh yeah,
it's over.
388
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,794
(WHISTLES LOUDLY)
Run like hell!
389
00:20:54,369 --> 00:20:56,803
Mr. Peterman, there
was a wedding...
390
00:20:56,904 --> 00:21:00,973
I know there was a wedding,
but it was not my wedding!
391
00:21:01,041 --> 00:21:02,742
Someone come in
and they get married!
392
00:21:02,810 --> 00:21:04,477
They say "I do" with the ring...
I don't care who was married!
393
00:21:04,545 --> 00:21:06,680
It's my daughter
I paid for...
394
00:21:06,747 --> 00:21:10,116
You come in at me all...
Oh, don't put the hands!
395
00:21:10,184 --> 00:21:11,851
Put the hands down!
396
00:21:11,919 --> 00:21:13,687
Don't even start with me with that ascot.
Who dress you?
397
00:21:13,754 --> 00:21:16,156
I'm gonna get
a heart attack here!
398
00:21:16,223 --> 00:21:18,624
You have a heart attack? You go
ahead and have a heart attack!
399
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,393
I not even pick
up after you!
400
00:21:20,461 --> 00:21:22,129
I not even pick up after you!
Where's the manager here?
401
00:21:22,196 --> 00:21:23,396
I demand to see
the manager!
402
00:21:23,464 --> 00:21:24,697
You go see the manager.
403
00:21:24,766 --> 00:21:26,566
He's a little, skimpy
guy who never tips!
404
00:21:27,305 --> 00:21:33,784
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