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1
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♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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{\an8}[scoffs] If you ask me, any room with
Patty and Selma in it is an escape room.
3
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:20,394
{\an8}I know you don't like Patty,
Selma, puzzles or parties,
4
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:24,399
{\an8}but try to enjoy Patty
and Selma's puzzle party.
5
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:31,363
{\an8}Comrades, as your damaged
Soviet submarine sinks,
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{\an8}you must solve
a series of puzzles to escape.
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{\an8}Should you need help,
you can request up to five hints.
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00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,873
{\an8}[laughs]
9
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{\an8}We've escaped from every fake dungeon,
zombie space station
10
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,628
{\an8}and unlicensed Hogwarts in this county.
11
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{\an8}With no hints.
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00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,133
{\an8}Good luck and do svidaniya.
13
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,302
{\an8}I escaped! See you later.
14
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,512
[beeps]
15
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,473
{\an8}Lisa, search the Captain's locker.
16
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{\an8}Marge, torpedo bay!
17
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:01,894
{\an8}[grunts]
18
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:02,978
{\an8}Hint!
19
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{\an8}No! No hints.
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{\an8}[Squeaky-Voiced Teen]
That door is painted on, sir.
21
00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,068
{\an8}You've used one hint.
22
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{\an8}You ruined our perfect hint-free streak,
23
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,074
{\an8}you Crisco-chugging pistachio brain!
24
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,160
{\an8}Yeah, well you're a, uh, uh...
25
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,745
{\an8}- Hint?
- [Squeaky-Voiced Teen] I don't know,
26
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,371
{\an8}something about her hair, maybe?
27
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{\an8}That doesn't count as a hint!
28
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{\an8}Yes, it does!
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{\an8}[both growl]
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{\an8}Separate.
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[growls]
32
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,467
[both hiss]
33
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:34,760
Homer, away.
34
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:35,844
Patty, tss, tss.
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Selma, corner. Corner!
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[Patty, Selma, Homer grumble, huff]
37
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Why was I in another
award show "in memoriam" package?
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Oh. Okay then.
39
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,942
Then why did they boo me?
40
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,235
Oh, okay then.
41
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Herschella!
42
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If you're wearing a robe, cinch it!
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Aunt Sadie!
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My favorite aunt who still talks to me.
45
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:03,247
To what do I owe this barging in?
46
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,416
Sideshow Mel asked me
to be a guest on your podcast.
47
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,252
I have a podcast?
48
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,087
Talking Krusty!
49
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:14,216
It's that thing where people who worked
on a TV show talk about old episodes.
50
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,384
What do you call it?
51
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,511
A-A rewatch podcast.
52
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Why has this been hidden from me?
53
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[growls]
54
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[laughter]
55
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So, right in the middle
of the Game of Thrones sketch
56
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,191
where the thrones were toilets,
the cue cards went missing.
57
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,651
What a story.
58
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,444
Only in showbiz!
59
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,531
Why the hell didn't you tell me
about this show, about my show?
60
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,741
We've begged you many times to come on.
61
00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:42,077
Shut up, you backstabbing traitor!
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Who the hell are you, mustache?
63
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,581
And who's the skirt in the pants?
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00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:48,041
That's Wayne the Grip
and Jodie from Props.
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00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,460
They've been with the show since day one.
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00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:53,922
What? You don't recognize
the people who work on your own show?
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[grunting]
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[grunting continues]
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00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,430
[sighs]
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You're crying because they're
doing a podcast without you.
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Now, here's your chance.
72
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:06,935
So sit your butt in the chair
73
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,855
and make with the reminiscing
with your friends from work.
74
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,066
Yeah, my friends from work. Uh... [laughs]
75
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,152
Yeah.
76
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[Mr. Teeny screams]
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[Krusty sighs]
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[alarm blaring]
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We've solved every puzzle.
80
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,623
Why can't we find the key
to open the door?
81
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:31,001
We've never failed an escape room,
and we're not starting now.
82
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,629
Forgive me, Selma.
83
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,255
- Hint!
- [Squeaky-Voiced Teen] The bald man
84
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,674
who hates you
found the exit key 20 minutes ago
85
00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:40,677
and has been using it
to scratch his butt out of spite.
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Spite.
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[beeps]
88
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[Squeaky-Voiced Teen]
Your mission has failed.
89
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,435
The frozen sea has claimed your bodies.
90
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:51,939
And your grieving children
will be sent to the gulag.
91
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,732
Happy birthday!
92
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,610
We're dead? I'll kill you!
93
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- [Patty, Selma, Homer growling, grunting]
- Separate!
94
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,491
[Marge strains, grunts]
95
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,369
- [both groan]
- [Homer grunts]
96
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,205
We did it, boys. We prayed our way out.
97
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,790
- Yay!
- Yay!
98
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Birthday ruined!
99
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:17,297
[groaning]
100
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:20,842
Okay, so there we are, in the finals
of the kid show softball league,
101
00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:25,973
it is 110 degrees and we're playing
those psycho cheaters from Bluey.
102
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,851
They slide spikes up, that's for sure.
103
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:35,023
And this is another activity
you missed out on with your work family?
104
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,400
I wasn't invited.
105
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,651
That's on them.
106
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:41,738
Well, in our defense, you don't seem
like you want to do things with the crew.
107
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,490
You don't look anyone in the eye.
108
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,701
You address people by their shirt color.
109
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That's not true, green shirt.
110
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Herschella Krustofsky,
you self-absorbed degenerate freak!
111
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:57,087
You're a lonely, sad narcissist
who has no connection to his fellow man.
112
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,673
You're an empty Hollywood elitist clown
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who's gonna die alone on a toilet
kissing your own headshot.
114
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,804
I don't know how to connect with nobodies.
115
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It's not my fault.
116
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Listen up, and listen good.
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The problem is you.
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[crying]
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My God, you're right.
120
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,692
I'm the problem.
121
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,111
I've worked with these good people
for 30 years
122
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:23,364
and I haven't made a single friend.
123
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:29,495
If I can't change, I'll never be happy.
124
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:35,542
And we'll be back
after this word from 3 Day Clams,
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00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:39,464
fresh clams, from the sea to your door
in three business days.
126
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,759
[Aunt Sadie] Listen up, and listen good.
127
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,428
The problem is you.
128
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,346
Brake!
129
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,513
- [shouts, grunts]
- [crashes]
130
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:52,100
"The problem is you." [chuckles]
What a catchphrase.
131
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:55,103
We could build
an entire TV show out of that.
132
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:58,523
Krusty's brash, no nonsense,
tell-it-like-it-is Aunt Sadie
133
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,360
fixes broken relationships in 30 minutes?
134
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,444
Exactly.
135
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,780
Like Judge Judy, but we get the money.
136
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:08,116
All we have to do is choose
the heaviest metallic sound effect
137
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,868
for when the title slams in.
138
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,787
[metal crashing]
139
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,789
{\an8}[Krusty] Coming up on The Problem Is You,
140
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,167
{\an8}Aunt Sadie faces
her toughest challenge yet.
141
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,836
{\an8}And I'm there too!
142
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,590
{\an8}What's hiding behind those chuckles, hmm?
143
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:26,177
{\an8}Another glass of rosé will not fix this.
144
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:30,263
{\an8}[Krusty continues] And you won't believe
where the final finger points.
145
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:33,434
{\an8}The problem is you!
146
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,145
{\an8}Mmm. Hmm.
147
00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:40,899
{\an8}Oh. Old Maid looks 20 years younger.
148
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,652
{\an8}Dad, I thought you hated
family game night.
149
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:47,823
{\an8}No, I hated extended family game night.
150
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,825
{\an8}With your evil, terrible aunts.
151
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,785
{\an8}Can you please make up with them?
152
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:56,790
{\an8}We really need six people to play
The Three Duos of Half-Dozen Mountain.
153
00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:01,586
{\an8}Honey, if I could wave a magic wand and
make Patty and Selma not suck, I would.
154
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:05,132
{\an8}But it's probably best
we get used to never seeing them again.
155
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,217
{\an8}[doorbell rings]
156
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,718
- [screams] Them!
- Where's Marge?
157
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:09,803
Is she okay?
158
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,722
She texted us she fell off the roof
cleaning the gutters.
159
00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:15,892
I lied about that to
get you all here together.
160
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,769
I did clean the gutters, though.
161
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,521
And I did fall off the roof.
162
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,858
After all these years,
it's obvious I can't get
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00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,651
the three of you to stop fighting.
164
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,361
[brakes squeal]
165
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,614
But I think I found someone who can.
166
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:32,617
Homer, Patty, Selma.
167
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:36,580
By the time I'm done with you,
you'll be as close as a family can be.
168
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,249
[all scream]
169
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:45,505
Marge, dear, what's the who,
why and how of this family row?
170
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,591
Well, it's complicated.
171
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,260
I hate jerks and they hate cool guys.
172
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End of story.
173
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,346
We didn't like each other from the start.
174
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:57,934
But things got really ugly
at that fateful baby shower.
175
00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:01,271
[Selma] We wanted that day to be
perfect for our sister.
176
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:02,355
And it was.
177
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:06,610
[Patty] Until this idiot botched
the one and only job we'd given him.
178
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,904
- I got the cake.
- [both scream]
179
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,697
We said a carrot cake.
180
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:13,533
I know,
but chocolate is me and Marge's favorite.
181
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:14,784
[breathing heavily]
182
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:17,037
Luckily, I brought a backup carrot cake
183
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:21,042
because I knew "The Impreginator" here
would screw it up.
184
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,794
- You undermining land-hags!
- What's the matter?
185
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:28,632
You tell these traitors
that your favorite cake is chocolate,
186
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:33,428
and that you despise carrot cake
because it's a garden salad with frosting!
187
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,431
It's fine. Please don't fight.
188
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:38,767
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm.
189
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,144
See, see? I like both cakes.
190
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,521
No, she doesn't.
191
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,231
Eat wrong cake.
192
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,317
[grunting]
193
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:51,196
[Marge] It was at that moment I realized
the only solution
194
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:55,825
was to keep my husband
and sisters separated from then on.
195
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,369
So, Marge, who was right?
196
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,288
What is your favorite cake flavor?
197
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:04,334
It's neither. I like vanilla.
Only vanilla.
198
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,920
The less flavor, the better.
199
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,005
Vanilla is the opposite of chocolate.
200
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:10,382
Carrot is the opposite of cake!
201
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,884
Marge ruined her life when she met you!
202
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,135
Shut up!
203
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:16,346
I've heard enough
of your bip-da-bip-da-bip!
204
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,973
You three disgust me.
205
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,475
May you walk under
a falling air conditioner.
206
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:22,602
That said, the problem...
207
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,020
is you!
208
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,022
- [all gasp]
- Me?
209
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,566
How can I be the problem?
210
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,276
I'm the Marge of this.
211
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,069
Oh, please.
212
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,823
If you actually wanted peace,
you'd stop interfering.
213
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:39,244
Let these three lunatics work out
their meshugas among themselves!
214
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,330
Why on earth would I want them to fight?
215
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:43,665
So you could be the martyr.
216
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:47,085
You keep them separated so
they won't stop fighting.
217
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:50,297
God forbid they should ever bury the
hatchet and who knows... [scoffs]
218
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,381
...become friends?
219
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:55,635
Because then Saint Marge
doesn't get to run the show!
220
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:56,886
- [Marge shouts]
- [crashing]
221
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,138
- [Bart] Hey!
- [crashing continues]
222
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,222
[Marge] Lamp! Ooh, ow.
223
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:01,683
That's the craziest thing I ever heard.
224
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,059
I'm the nicest.
225
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,603
I love everyone.
226
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,813
Out, out, out, out. Get out.
227
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,190
I unsign all the waivers.
228
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,068
Shh. Shoo, shoo, shoo.
229
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,904
This is what showbiz is all about, huh,
Wayne the Grip?
230
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,072
The camaraderie.
231
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:18,783
[yelps] Why do you know my name?
Please don't fire me.
232
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,661
I need to support my stepson's
illegal street racing habit.
233
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:24,122
Relax, my fruit-vaping friend.
234
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,917
I'm just like you,
a member of the crew family.
235
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:31,588
Really? You always seemed like you
couldn't stand us below-the-line guys.
236
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,759
Ugh. What I can't stand is that
old-fashioned Hollywood expression.
237
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:40,055
Why should there be some imaginary line
separating the so-called "talent"
238
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,515
from the hardworking riffraff like you?
239
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:46,686
If I could, I'd make it
so the line never existed.
240
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,772
[chuckles] That's pretty cool of you, man.
241
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,941
You know, I'm hosting a crawfish boil
this weekend for the crew.
242
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:53,026
You should come.
243
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:57,030
You're inviting me to your that?
244
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,698
Just watch out for my friend Jimmy.
245
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,409
He will flick you in the nuts
if you're not looking.
246
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,454
I look forward to it.
247
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:09,042
Where does that judgmental old clown-aunt
get off saying I'm the problem?
248
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,670
How could I be the reason
you three don't get along?
249
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,505
[chuckles] That lady's off her rocker.
250
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,881
Thank you, sweetie.
251
00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,467
You always know how to agree with me.
252
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,220
Yes, I do.
253
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:25,893
[scoffs] As if there were a world where
I'd be friends with my worst enemies.
254
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:30,189
[thinking] Hmm.
Friends with Patty and Selma.
255
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,123
What are you doing here, Homer?
256
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,541
This isn't you.
257
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,544
You're not this person.
258
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,295
So, here we all are.
259
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,048
If I could have stayed away, I would have.
260
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,717
Part of me wants to run.
261
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,803
Part of me knows I'm through running.
262
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,348
Do you think there's any truth
to what the mean lady said?
263
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:09,310
That we would be friends if not for Marge?
264
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:11,229
I know I don't wanna believe it.
265
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,398
We need to figure out if this is real.
266
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:17,862
I know a place where we can
explore these feelings discreetly.
267
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,657
Patty and Selma, welcome to Moe's.
268
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,327
Weird how the sunlight stops at
the doorway.
269
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,829
Like it's afraid to come in.
270
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:31,667
Yeah, a scientist tried to explain it
one time and went crazy.
271
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,252
[Moe] Homer. Psst. Homer!
272
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,796
Hey, I said "psst!"
273
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,340
Who are these two goddesses?
274
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,925
They're Marge's sisters.
275
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:43,678
Midge has two hotter sisters?
276
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:45,513
Patty and Selma.
277
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:46,848
Pidge and Sidge?
278
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,767
Well, yeah. They're twins.
279
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,436
Oh, my God. Twins?
280
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,021
I always dreamed of hooking up with twins,
281
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:56,357
ever since I saw that old commercial
for the movie Twins.
282
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,067
Patty's a lesbian, so I don't think--
283
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,904
And one of 'em has zero interest in men?
284
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,822
I think I'm in love over here.
285
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:05,534
How could you keep this from me?
How could you do it?
286
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,998
- [Homer] Hmm.
- [Selma] Hmm.
287
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:13,458
[Homer] Hmm.
288
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,503
All these years,
we treated each other like garbage,
289
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,421
but it was Marge's fault.
290
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:21,925
I hope we can find it in ourselves
to forgive her.
291
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,761
Seeing as we're such great people,
we probably will.
292
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,138
To the three...
293
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,890
amigos?
294
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,520
Four. You're so fat, you count twice.
295
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:34,855
Zing!
296
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:36,564
"Twice."
297
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:39,734
Said the spinster
with a toilet brush for a head!
298
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,946
- Zing!
- [all laugh]
299
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,322
- Good one.
- Now that we're buddies,
300
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:47,576
our horrible insults
are just delightful zings.
301
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,412
Look, Homer, it's your head.
302
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:53,248
It's even got your IQ!
303
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,415
Zing!
304
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,751
[creaking]
305
00:13:56,752 --> 00:14:01,965
[grunting] It's like I'm being crushed
by two sacks of wet mail!
306
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,425
[both grunting] Zing!
307
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:09,557
Did you have to audition for this part
or did your agent just get a call?
308
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,100
[whispers] Zing.
309
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,102
Thirty-eight minutes.
310
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,562
No hints.
311
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,189
I stayed out of the way.
312
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:18,815
Homer?
313
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,233
[all scream] Marge!
314
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,946
Dad, are you hanging out
with Patty and Selma?
315
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:26,447
- [both stammering]
- No, the thing is...
316
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,700
It seems like you guys are friends.
317
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,577
- I wouldn't just... Why would I...
- [both stammering]
318
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,622
If you guys are getting along without me,
319
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,457
the problem is me.
320
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,002
[metal crashing]
321
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,632
Open.
322
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:47,093
- Friends.
- [Patty] Mmm. Unlikely friends.
323
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:49,012
[Homer] Now, remember, no splashing.
324
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,847
- [splashing]
- [Homer giggling] Oh, no.
325
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:53,433
Mom, you should go down and join them.
326
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,101
No. I'd only cause trouble.
327
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,686
Because I'm the problem.
328
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:57,771
[groans]
329
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,023
Of course you're not.
330
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,108
No, I am. It's fine though.
331
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,360
Your father and my sisters
getting along was my dream,
332
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,237
and it happened,
and now my life is perfect.
333
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,865
Hooray for TV therapy.
Hooray, hooray, hooray!
334
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,992
So perfect that you're
up here watching them
335
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,870
while you refold laundry
that's already been folded?
336
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,831
Maybe I don't do things right
the first time.
337
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,207
Or any time.
338
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,335
[whimpering]
339
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,712
Bart, Mom has candy!
340
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,297
Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy!
341
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,215
[whimpering continues]
342
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:27,592
[sobs]
343
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,387
I ruined everything.
344
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,431
Candy?
345
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,064
[groaning]
346
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,816
Krusty! You made it!
347
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:48,488
Like I'm not gonna drive three hours
to be with my crew family.
348
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,532
You got a little water prison
for the kids. Nice.
349
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:52,825
Oh, it's a pool.
350
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:55,745
No, pools go in the ground.
351
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,330
Oh, you gotta meet my neighbors.
352
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,748
That's Phil, he's a cop.
353
00:15:58,749 --> 00:15:59,916
Joe, cop.
354
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,876
Cop, cop, cop.
355
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:05,547
[chuckling] I love law enforcement
and laws.
356
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:09,342
Hey, little help, K-dog?
357
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,760
[chuckles] I can do this.
358
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,178
I bet on this sport.
359
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,430
[grunts]
360
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,229
[children crying]
361
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:21,980
[child] Mommy!
362
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,816
Walk it off, Jayden. Walk it off.
363
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,114
The dunes are calling your name, bro!
364
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,534
[partygoers cheering]
365
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:39,080
My stepson's stepson,
he built this baby out of boat parts.
366
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:42,250
So no brakes or safety features
to weigh you down.
367
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,377
Smart.
368
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,503
Is there a helmet?
369
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:48,339
Statistically, you're safer without one.
370
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,842
Gotta do your own research.
371
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,801
Okay, I can do this.
372
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,096
Just take it slow and steady.
373
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:57,432
- [yelps]
- [crashes]
374
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,726
- [partygoers gasp]
- [Krusty grunting]
375
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,310
Hey, the CPR worked!
376
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:03,938
Hey, when your heart stopped,
which heaven did you see?
377
00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:08,151
Jet Ski paintball next weekend
at Concrete Lake, K-dog! You in?
378
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,070
Wouldn't miss it.
379
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:13,823
[announcer] It's The Problem Is You
380
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,784
Season Finale Reunion Special!
381
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,787
[cheering]
382
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:21,164
Welcome!
383
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,709
On our first hit season,
we solved a lot of problems.
384
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,335
And here they are now!
385
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:27,420
[audience cheers]
386
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,840
So, how's everybody doing?
387
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,925
[stammering] When you find out
that you're the problem,
388
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:36,721
even though you could have sworn,
and I mean with every fiber of your being,
389
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,222
that it was the other guy,
390
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,557
it's very, well...
391
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,559
Uh, I don't know, freeing? I don't know.
392
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:46,231
I was so controlling of Percival,
but now I just let him roam free.
393
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,358
Oh, Aunt Sadie, you changed all our lives.
394
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:53,279
Once you helped Marge step back
from decades of sabotaging us,
395
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,114
it's been so good for her.
396
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,908
- Right, honey?
- That's right.
397
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,326
I'm gonna be honest.
398
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:02,288
There was a time when I thought
maybe we were doing something wrong.
399
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,916
But we were completely blameless.
400
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,626
Not me. I'm to blame.
401
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,086
The problem is Marge.
402
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,214
All those things that used to bother me
about Marge's sisters,
403
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,715
they just don't anymore.
404
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:15,635
I can remember, for example,
when I wouldn't be able
405
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,262
to stand the way he's breathing right now.
406
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,682
Oh. Was I breathing loud? I'm sorry.
407
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,059
Doesn't bother me either.
408
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:27,146
Good. Because the cigarette ash
in your eyebrows doesn't bother me.
409
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:30,817
I'm not sitting here thinking,
"How could there be so much of it?"
410
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:31,777
[Patty, Selma grumble]
411
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,821
Kumiko, tell me,
is your husband still skipping
412
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:38,074
the episode "previously on's"
even though you find them helpful?
413
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,910
You wanna know something
else that doesn't bother me?
414
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:44,247
That he only cuts his fingernails
on his left hand.
415
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,583
I'm a righty,
so I can't use the clippers with my left.
416
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,420
Again, it doesn't bother us.
417
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,216
[laughs] Hey, Marge,
you wanna step in here?
418
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,634
You mean separate you?
419
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,553
Oh, no. No, not me.
420
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,264
I don't do that anymore.
421
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,895
You disgust me!
422
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,605
- Groom yourself!
- You first!
423
00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:12,316
You don't yell at a reunion show,
you sick morons!
424
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:15,111
Look at these losers I cured.
425
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,113
Cheapskate, fixed!
426
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,323
Daddy issues, fixed!
427
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,742
Impotent, came to terms with.
428
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:22,828
[groans]
429
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:25,079
You fixed nothing!
430
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,541
You plaster over real problems
with an easy catchphrase.
431
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,419
These three have hated each
other since the moment they met.
432
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:35,173
And all you did was give them
a reason to not feel guilty about it.
433
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,800
Don't talk to me about guilt.
434
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,260
I invented guilt!
435
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:44,056
No! It's my turn to yell!
And point and point and point!
436
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,809
You can't solve relationships
in 30 minutes.
437
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:53,274
It requires years of constant hard work
and deep self-reflection from all parties.
438
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,444
I didn't sign up for self-reflection.
439
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,946
Now you want me to work at my marriage?
440
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:02,200
Oh, I'm leaving you,
and I'm taking the pugs!
441
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,119
[arguing]
442
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:09,332
I'm Marge Simpson,
and the problem is not me.
443
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,708
I see it now.
444
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,543
The problem's not me either.
445
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:15,463
I was wrong
to try to form human connections
446
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,506
with the people that work for me.
447
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,717
Well, I don't think that's the lesson.
448
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:23,054
Why should I spend time
with anyone below-the-line?
449
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,889
The line is there for a reason.
450
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,183
The line is an absolute good.
451
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:29,477
The line is life!
452
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,812
I always knew that guy was a phony.
453
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,650
Let's go rub our butts on his sushi.
454
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,776
Don't you leave me!
455
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:40,113
I've got an hour to fill
with you mental cases.
456
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,745
You need my yelling!
457
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,334
I'm so sorry for your loss, Krusty.
458
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,420
Who said you could talk to me?
459
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,672
Oh! Here we go.
460
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,007
That's Jimmy!
461
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,852
{\an8}[Sideshow Mel] If you're like me,
and you love shellfish,
462
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:13,229
{\an8}and you're not in a hurry...
463
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:16,357
{\an8}Did you know that 94% of clams
are perfectly safe to eat
464
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,401
{\an8}after three business days?
465
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:22,655
{\an8}So the next time it's Wednesday,
and you feel like having clams
466
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:26,659
{\an8}on the following Monday,
visit three-day-clams.com.
467
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:30,204
{\an8}Order a dozen little necks
and get a shucker for free.
468
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:34,959
{\an8}Though with three-day-old clams,
they practically open themselves.
469
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,420
{\an8}One taste and you'll say, "Wow.
470
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:40,589
{\an8}These clams are fresh enough."
471
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:44,010
{\an8}Consult your physician
before ordering 3 Day Clams.
472
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,637
{\an8}See terms and restrictions
at three-day-clams.com.
473
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:50,558
{\an8}Delivery and all food-poisoning concerns,
call 1-555-CLAM-HELP.
474
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,562
3 Day Clams is not an endorsement
of eating three-day-old clams.
33919
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