Original subtitles

Ten million dollars for the missile chip.

Not a plan, but the chip itself.

Why the big price?

My clients have requested it.

I honor my clients' request.

Sounds like your clients want to build a missile that can't be detected by radar.

I don't ask questions, Mr. beaupre,

but whoever possesses this chip...

Could dominate the entire region.

Good night, George. Good night, Mr. Cooper.

Jesus.

He's clean. Here.

Uh, that's, uh-- that's what you asked for.

Air force n.S.B. 100 "c" series.

If that goes in a missile, air defenses can't stop it.

Uh, look. I got a plane to catch.

Where's my money?

Here. Hide it in the toy car.

We'll slip it right past airport security.

Let's go.

Please remove your jewelry and place it in the bowl.

My jewelry? Yes, ma'am.

Step back.

Let's go.

Ma'am, you'll have to wait. Please.

I'm sorry. I didn't know.

That's it. Everything.

Thank you. Thank you.

Next, please. Thank you.

Next, please. Thank you.

Oh, my god.

It's cold in here.

They're on time. On time.

Yeah. There's my dad. Move.

- Move! - Oh, my god. There's Amy.

Young man!

I checked the Dallas, Miami, New York and Denver lounges. Nothing.

Bars, restaurants, club lounge-- clean.

When I was in the John, i didn't see anything in there.

It has to be on a plane.

We are going to Chicago.

In the winter?

I packed tropical.

Welcome to Chicago, where it's a balmy 29 degrees outside.

- Welcome to Chicago. - Bye. Thanks.

Bye now. Thank you.

Welcome to Chicago.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Welcome to Chicago.

Here you go, sir.

Thanks.

- Mr. beaupre! - Mr. unger and Mr. jernigan.

Excuse me.

- Excuse me. Move. - Out of my way.

Did you check any bags, ma'am?

No. Floor it.

She's leaving.

Hey!

That's him.

Excuse me, pop. Can I ask you somethin'?

What? You had a fare from the airport around 1620 hours,

January 8.

Senior citizen. Female. Caucasian.

What? About 4:30 today. Old broad.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You got an address on that?

W-- well, north Devon park. Uh, Washington street.

Describe the house, please.

Well, big, old,

uh, tudor-like place.

- Details. - Christmas lights. Wreath on the door.

Christmas tree at the end of the driveway.

And the driveway was the only one on the block that wasn't shoveled.

I'm all done, Mrs. hess.

I'm exhausted and sweaty, but you can't see 'cause I'm all covered up.

You were supposed to deal with the snow promptly, weren't you?

- Yes, but-- - butts are for ashtrays.

I don't care for excuses. We had an understanding, and you broke it.

Your word is worthless. Sorry. That'll be no charge, Mrs. hess.

So you can tell the neighborhood I stiffed you on a snow removal job?

Mm-mmm.

Oh. Is this a loaf of the famous San Francisco sourdough bread?

This won't make a very tasty sandwich, will it?

- Huh? - Some silly, inconsiderate boob who took my bag--

I left my bread in San Francisco.

Pardon me, Mrs. hess, but I think I'm almost, maybe,

possibly, probably gonna be late for my dinner.

Consider this your payment. I have no use for the silly thing.

Thank you. And have your mother teach you...

That it is rude to scratch yourself in the presence of a lady.

Good night, Alex.

Geez. What a grouch.

They're all old. Most of them are tudor.

They all have wreaths and old Christmas trees.

And the snow's all been shoveled.

There are 14 houses.

The toy car must be in one of them.

We're going to have to search them all.

We'll come back when it's light.

We're gonna work houses in broad daylight?

It's the suburbs, Mr. unger.

Nobody's home during the day.

There you go, speedy.

Charlie, we went through this last year.

I told you then, I'm telling you now. I can't work weekends.

Why not? I've got three kids and a husband.

Mary Lou does. Well, that's Mary Lou. She has no life.

It means nothing to her to work weekends. But I can't do that.

Come on, Karen. I'm living in a house that's half renovated.

My kids have activities. They need to see their parents doing something...

Other than running to the car in the morning.

I can't really explain over the phone why we're so excited about this product.

Okay. But you'll be here on Wednesday.

Right. I'll be in Cleveland on Wednesday. Yeah. Wednesday.

And we'll talk about it then, face to face. Man to man.

Yeah. Man to man. All right.

Your brother's bug. Your brother's bug.

Careful. Careful.

Oh.

Hmm. Bull's-eye.

Three from downtown.

And the crowd goes wild.

Oh, man.

I hope they're not--

Alex slammed the toilet seat down on his thing again.

Bull's-eye.

Alex? What happened?

I had nothing to do with this. I'm innocent.

Yeah. I-- I gotta go. My kid slammed the toilet seat on his thing again.

Huh? I'll call you back.

All right. Alex?

Keep that in your mouth. Mm-hmm.

Chicken pox. Mom, with all due respect,

this is a scam to get out of having to turn in his science project because his bug died.

- What? - His face doesn't look that bad.

- His body is covered. - Would that include his buttock region?

- Shut up! - This is great.

If he scratches his chicken spots, we could call him scar butt.

- Leave. - Good-bye.

I'll go make you some soup.

I'll bring the TV up from the family room.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Hey. Don't scratch.

Keep that under your tongue. I'll be right back.

Nice family. Huh, Doris?

Take off. You guys should get going. See you later, dad.

Mr. greenfield's 401k is invested in the eafa fund.

You have it listed in the mid-cap fund.

That's where your 3,000 shortfall is. Oh. Okay.

Okay? So you're gonna make it up next quarter.

Bruce, can i-- i just have to put you on hold. One sec.

Alex. I'm on with the office.

So I think that what we--

I'm really sorry, Bruce. Can I just call you back in a minute? Thanks.

Three, two. Now hold.

- And. Let's-- gotcha.

You rang?

Thirsty?

Thanks, mom.

Oh. Here we are.

I do wish that my husband could have been here today.

Well, it's a cozy little place. Oh!

Well, isn't this charming?

And it's available immediately.

My boys are just gonna love it here.

Yes, they will.

Plus special care and feeding tips next onspets on parade.

Look, Doris.

If you think that was amusing, wait till you see what I do next.

Oh, yeah.

This is a very important piece.

Hmm?

Sit. I can't wait for next week.

I hate dogs.

Charlie, we've been over all this. You know I can't come in. Alex is sick.

Billing just called. He's on his way in to review his portfolio.

Oh, god. You're kidding. No.

How long is he in town? He's leaving Friday.

You know we can't--

no, that's okay. Mary Lou can handle it. She can access--

Mary Lou is not who he expects to see. You're the point person.

No-- look. You gave me your word you could handle this.

I know I promised you. But my child wasn't sick when I promised you. There's--

it's not my fault you can't find a babysitter.

Okay, fine. One hour. I can come in for one hour. That is it.

Fine. If Alex beeps me, I'm gone.

You can fire me if you want to, but I'm gone. Karen--

and, Charlie, I just want you to know that you're putting me in the position...

Of having to choose between making a house payment and taking care of my sick child,

and I really don't appreciate it. Karen--

jerk.

Sh-- okay.

Did you tell Charlie that I'm desperately ill?

Thank you, Alex.

Yes. Charlie knows you're sick.

What about the family leave act?

I just have to go in and pick up some stuff and sign some papers and show my face.

I'll be gone an hour at the very most.

I called Mrs. hess and told her you'd be alone, and she--

you called Mrs. hess? She knows I'm gonna be alone?

She said if anything comes up, she'll be right over. She wasn't happy about it, but--

she could get tanked up on iced tea and come over and make me smoke cigarettes.

Oh, don't be ridiculous. What do I do if there's a tornado?

They don't happen in winter. Social unrest?

I don't think so.

Boredom? I hear it's deadly in old folks.

Good-bye, sweetie.

What about crooks?

I don't think that's a problem during the day, honey.

Why not? Nobody's home during the day.

I'm only eight, and I figured that out.

Don't you think a grown-up crook could figure it out too?

This is a very safe neighborhood.

There's only one road in and out of here.

The doors will be locked. You have all my numbers.

- I'll be home as soon as I can. - But, mom!

What about dragons, giant spiders, mummies,

the living dead and other figments of my imagination?

Alex, I can't help you there.

Only you can control your imagination.

That's a scary thought.

Hmm.

That's weird.

Oh, my god!

Twenty seconds out.

Clear.

- 911 emergency. - I saw a burglar.

- Are you by yourself? - My mom just had to run out for a few minutes.

- I have the chicken pox. - Can I have your address, please?

The guy isn't at my house. He's at the Stephans'.

Their address is 3015 Washington street!

Nothing.

There's a burglar in the Stephans' house! What?

I saw him with my telescope. There's a woman with a dog and a gray Van...

And a man in running clothes.

I didn't recognize anybody but the dog.

He looked just like Johnny Allen's dog. So I called the police.

You called the police?

Take the back.

Yes, sir.

Cover me!

- Freeze!

The burglar alarm was on and working.

There was no one in the house.

It doesn't appear that anything's been taken.

I don't know what your boy saw, but...

There wasn't a person in that house.

I-I'm very sorry about this. My son's been home with the chicken pox,

and I just had to run to work to pick up some papers.

I'm completely strapped. I don't normally do this.

Son, false alarms are no joking matter.

It wasn't a false alarm. There was a guy in the house.

He had two lookouts and a driver in a gray Van.

He's been running a fever.

You might want to remind him that ours is serious business.

Oh. He knows.

We gave him a police set for Christmas.

N-not this Christmas, but last Christmas.

You know, one of those-- a badge and a hat and a whistle. He took it very seriously.

He went around the house arresting relatives for various crimes.

Oh, you know, not real crimes. Just sort of leaving the toilet seat up and snoring and--

absolutely. I will. Yes. Thank you.

Thank you.

You get in that bed, young man.

Excuse me, but I saw a man in Karen Stephans's bedroom.

A white male, a little older than dad,

and he was wearing butt-inspection gloves.

I have warned you about that telescope. You look through it long enough,

you're gonna start seeing things, whether or not they're there.

I guess you have to be 35 before anyone around here listens to you.

Don't get smart with me, Alex.

Sick or not, i am very angry with you.

You have caused a lot of trouble today.

Dad and I have to replace a door at the Stephans'. Do you think we're happy about that?

I saw what I saw.

Peter beaupre,

Earl unger, Burton jernigan...

And Alice ribbons.

They were ticketed under known aliases...

But didn't board the Hong Kong flight.

I believe they're still in the U.S., but beyond that... I don't know.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we've got to find that chip.

What went wrong with the burglar alarm?

Nothing. It wasn't the alarm.

Then who called the police?

Mr. jernigan, care to speculate?

Cars came and went. The mailman came by.

We could have a watcher on any house in any street.

- It could be anybody. - I don't think it's just anybody.

I think it's someone on our street.

Someone we are not tracking.

Someone we've missed.

Dad, cab's here.

Oh, shoot. Your mom's not back yet.

Well, all right.

Your mom had to take some documents to the bank.

She can't be gone more than a few minutes.

Mrs. hess is home. You'll be fine, okay?

My beeper number's on speed dial on the telephone.

Second button. Mom's on the first button.

Right. Yeah. So, you're okay?

"Positutely."

All right. Give me a kiss. All right.

Dad.

Alex, this is a very safe and secure neighborhood.

We have great police, as you learned yesterday.

- Nothing bad is gonna happen to you. Okay? - Dad.

Yeah? Got your tickets?

- Yep. - Got your wallet?

Yeah. It's in my pocket.

Where's your pocket?

Yeah.

Thank you. Bye, dad.

She's leaving.

3025 is all clear. Red sedan heading south.

Turning right. Hold.

Hi. Hi.

You are just in time, Mr. pruitt.

Wait, wait. Wait, wait. Oh, no.

Yes.

- Abort. Abort. - Evacuate the area. I'm on my own.

Let's go!

Move! Move!

Cover it!

Cool.

Okay. Come on.

Nothing.

Let's check upstairs.

So, uh, where's the burglar?

There is no burglar.

Just a kid home sick from school makin' false alarms.

How embarrassing.

Mm-hmm.

Son, this is the second time in two days that you've called the police.

It's a very serious matter when a person calls the police.

I saw a burglar yesterday, and I saw a burglar today.

Alex, listen to the chief.

There was no one in that house.

What about Johnny Allen's dog? I talked to Johnny last night.

His dog was kidnapped on Monday morning.

- Did he see it happen? - Alex,

apologize to the chief and go up to your room.

Excuse me for being a good citizen.

Alex!

I-I'm very sorry. This will not happen again.

Will it, honey? Really, I promise you.

Well, we wouldn't want to discourage him from calling us, uh,

in the event that something real ever does happen.

Loser.

- Shut up. - Make me.

Now that you've pranked the cops twice, it goes on your permanent record.

For the rest of your life, if you call for help, it won't come.

Dad missed his plane. He was late for a meeting with his boss.

We have to fork over much-needed family cash to the Stephans...

And to an evil octogenarian so they can have their doors repaired.

And even worse--

the world laughs, Alex.

You've stained the family name.

First the Stephans,

then Mrs. hess.

I agree, Doris. The next stop is the alcotts' house.

What kind of a burglar goes into a house and doesn't take anything?

Do you know what I think? I think they're looking for somethin' special.

And they're lookin' in everybody's house 'cause they don't know who has it.

The question is... what is it?

If nobody's gonna do anything about this,

I'll just have to do it myself.

I am so sorry.

- I'm clearly not awake. - It's all right.

Have a nice day.

I'll try. Mm-hmm.

Watch this, Doris.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Look, Doris.

Boo!

Oh. I forgot about the stairs.

Hmm.

Got him, Doris. Got him.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

You are so busted.

- Ah!

I have it-- the toy car.

- It's videotaping me. - Huh?

What?

Come back on that last message.

Ow! Oh!

Come on. Go, go, go, go, go!

Don't spin! Don't spin!

You there. Huh?

Now, you was friendly to me. I don't have to kill you.

- You got money doesn't belong to you. - Now, you back off.

-This ain't none of your business. -All right. Drop the saddlebags.

Bring-bring!

Hello. This is Karen.

Hi. How's it goin'?

Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm runnin' late for the office again.

I-i think blue chips are overvalued.

Technology stocks would be good.

Technology stocks.

Listen, hon. I'm in the shower. Can I call you back?

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

See ya!

Oh!

The car's outside. I got a woman in the house. Get over here!

Come on! Get up!

Ow! Ooh!

Shoot!

Everybody's in a hurry.

It's a video camera. Someone's onto us.

Do you think it really matters? Chip's in the car.

We're at the airport in 45 minutes. Where's Alice?

What happened?

There is a woman in the house. I'll go back in and deal with her.

Get the chip.

Hmm.

Yes!

I got it.

Ma'am, may I have a word with you?

Don't come in. I'm naked.

What's on your mind, monkey butt?

Come on. Come on.

What's that funky smell?

- I lost it! - What?

Come on. Go, go, go!

- It's going out of range! - I got it.

I see it.

Look out.

Jernigan, which direction?

It got past me. It's heading south on Adams.

But I'm right behind the little--

it's off the street, going through backyards, heading west.

Alice, what's your position?

Fourth house, moving to the alley.

I see it! It's going through the hedge.

- Jernigan, position? - You're there.

- I got it! - I got it!

Unger, what's your position?

Heading to Washington street.

I didn't copy. Where?

I said I'm heading to wa--

stop, you nitwit!

I don't see anything.

I'll look around.

I don't have it yet.

We're out of time. Give it up.

They got the tape. Why'd they still chase the toy car?

It's not that expensive.

I'm sure they don't have enough time to play with it.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Hmm.

Look, Doris.

Computer chip, huh? Where'd you find it?

I found it in a remote control car that I got for shoveling snow for Mrs. hess.

She lives across the street from us. It says U.S. air force on it,

but you have to look under a magnifying glass in order to see it.

Kid, a lot of toys have "air force" written on it.

This is a recruiting office, son. We don't handle matters like this.

Can I give you the number on the chip and you can call the right guys?

Do you think we should tell mom about the chip?

Yeah, I guess you're right. The less they know the better.

Those guys are bad news.

I can't tell you how much i appreciate you hitting me with the minivan.

Never let your emotions get the best of you.

You weren't paying attention. You should have been more vigilant.

You should have taken driver's ed.

It's a kid. It has to be a kid.

I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old, and I'll have Burton jernigan to thank.

The cops come twice. They don't believe the kid.

He takes matters into his own hands. It can't be anything else.

If that's the case, i say take no chances.

Tomorrow, whack every kid in the neighborhood. Burn 'em all.

Then look for that stupid car.

My thoughts keep turning to number 3026.

It's within the operating radius of the toy car.

It's on the sight lines of all the houses I've been in.

Hello? Do you have the missile chip?

- We are close. - If I don't have the chip in 24 hours, Mr. beaupre,

I will have no choice but to terminate the mission...

And nullify all the participants.

You understand, don't you?

Guys, dad's home tomorrow night. Now, I have my quarterly client meeting from noon till 5:00,

so I need you and Molly to come straight home after school...

To stay with Alex until dad gets home. I can't.

No way. Impossible. I have gymnastics.

- I have hockey. - Do I need to repeat myself?

Well, I thought you were putting the bite on Mrs. hess to watch Alex.

- Yeah. She's a lot more responsible than me and Stan. - Mrs. hess is a backup.

Unless there's an emergency, i really don't want to have to call her.

I'll be fine by myself.

Well, there you have it. It's settled.

Alex, could you pass me the false alarms?

Excuse me. I'm sorry. I meant the peas.

- Ho, ho. - Hello?

Oh, hi. Uh-huh.

Yeah. He's been home with the chicken pox. Oh.

- Alex, do you know a Bradley clovis? - Yeah.

This is his mother on the phone. Did you take a toy car from him?

No, he has one of those...

Remote control cars, but he got it from the woman across the street.

We have it.

Alex, what is the matter with you? You don't disconnect one of my calls.

Don't talk to Mrs. clovis, please. Why not?

She's dangerous. Dangerous? Honey, what are you talking about?

It was lies. They're all lies.

It wasn't her. Honey, what do you mean it wasn't her?

Call her back. I think you'll be surprised.

Outgoing call.

Rerouted.

Hello. Clovises.

Hi. I beg your pardon. We just--

oh, I'm sorry. Did I disconnect you, Karen?

No, no. It was me. We're-- we're renovating. The phone lines are a mess.

They intercepted the phone call.

Listen. I didn't mean to accuse your son.

I'm certain Bradley just misplaced his toy car.

Isn't that the way they are? They lose something, they assume it's been stolen.

Little boys do have wild imaginations, don't they?

Yes, they do.

They're gonna come after me tomorrow, Doris.

Nobody will listen.

Not my parents or Molly or Stan...

Or the police or the air force.

Nobody. So, what do I do?

If that means hide, you're wrong.

If that means fight, you're right.

They'll understand when I'm done.

They'll know i was tellin' the truth.

I'm not gonna cry or feel sad or scared.

They're grown-ups, and they're criminals,

but this is my neighborhood, and this is my house.

And no matter how old they are, no matter how big they are,

they can't beat me here.

They can't beat me at home.

Oh.

Ooh, wanna buy a little silence?

Double or nothin'.

We're watching a major snowstorm...

That's bearing down on the chicagoland area.

As you take a look at the latest radar, you can see the snow's increasing in intensity.

Heavy snow is in the forecast, and residents are urged to stay indoors if possible.

Approaching target. All clear.

Here we go, Doris.

Whoa! No! Stop!

First we free the hostages.

Switching on the fiber optics.

Alex, can you get the door, please?

No answer.

Are we certain target has not left?

- Negative. - We would have seen that.

I repeat: There is no movement inside.

- Permission to enter.

Huh?

No!

Whoa!

- Alice?

Hey! Go home. Go home!

All right.

I need assistance. I'm exposed.

Maintain your position.

Do not-- I repeat: Do not draw attention to yourself.

Pick her up. We'll move in after the storm hits.

We'll let mother nature cover our tracks.

Sir, this just came in from the air force.

Some kid named pruitt called a recruiting office in Chicago.

Said he found a computer chip in a toy car.

We're going to Chicago.

Did you watch the weather for me?

Yep. No problems. Your coat's over there.

Oh, thanks. I want to wear my brown one. Wait!

Why don't you go fill your commuter cup with yummy hot coffee,

and I'll get your coat for you?

Thanks, hon.

I'll make you a sandwich.

Here's your coat. Thanks.

Oh, sweetheart, I am so sorry about this week.

It breaks my heart to have to come and go like this. It shouldn't be this way.

It's okay. It's not you. It's the times.

Thanks, hon.

You have your beeper? Yep.

Great.

I'll call every half hour.

I'll go on line with you and keep the connection open all day.

I'll have my laptop with me at all my meetings.

We'll be in contact at all times.

Plus, I have my cellular, and you've got my fax number.

We're wired. Mmm.

Oh, my gosh. Did Mrs. clovis call? Mmm.

She was gonna stop by before I left...

To confirm that Bradley's name wasn't on the remote control car.

She stopped by when you were in the shower.

- Did you let her have it? - Big time.

- I hope she felt foolish. - It was painful.

Okay. Be good.

Be safe. Keep an eye on the old place.

I got it all covered.

Mmm!

Here we go, Doris. It's just you and me.

You mean there's someone else?

Get ready to rumble! Play ball!

- Come on. - It's showtime!

If those are real, I'm an eagle.

Hello. Hi, Mrs. hess. It's Karen pruitt.

Could you possibly look in on Alex for me? I'm just going out.

Oh, I'm at work. I'm really in a bind.

Oh. Well? How long?

Well, i-it wouldn't be for more than an hour or so.

All right. No cooking.

"Call Mrs. hess.

Well, she's retired. What else could she possibly be doing?"

Babysitter.

Do they invite me into their house for a holiday eggnog? Well, of course not!

Look who woke up from her nap.

Crooks at 30 yards and closing.

Let the party begin.

Good afternoon. My husband and I have just moved into your neighborhood.

What do you want, a wilkie button?

A package was to be delivered, but the driver got confused. Perhaps he brought it here.

Nope. They didn't bring anything here.

The delivery company said that no one answered the door...

And the driver left it in the garage.

Sometimes they leave stuff at the backdoor.

Why are you closing the door?

I left my heart in San Francisco.

Looks like the little rug rat has the place locked up pretty tight.

Jernigan, I think I'm gonna enjoy this.

It's been a long time since I was a kid.

You forget how incredibly stupid they are.

Now, you be careful. Sometimes when kids get scared, they wet their pants.

Oh!

Yeow!

Eee! Yaah!

- Mr. unger.

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

I'm all right.

Mr. unger, what are you doing?

Don't touch the yarn. It's wired.

The kid's got the place booby-trapped.

Make no assumptions.

- Watch the welcome mat. - This boy is clever.

- Have you tried the door? - Uh, not yet.

Let me point something out to you.

Missed that.

Stand clear.

Maybe he's not so clever after all.

Yeah, i-i just think we're having an off day.

A thought for you to consider:

At airport security,

make sure you have the right package.

I certainly hope that you're not fond...

Of that little boy across the street.

I'll leave this open.

Fresh air will be good for you.

Ow. Oh. Oh!

You think you're smart, you little brat.

Unger, what's your status?

Unger! Unger?

Whoo! Hwah!

Heads up.

How did that happen? I don't know.

Ouch.

You got hit with a book?

Books. Plural. A trunk full of books.

Then a set of weights. We got hit twice, you dumb broad.

Excuse me, Mr. unger. I didn't get taken down by an infant.

We didn't anticipate the defense the boy would mount.

I'll go in the front.

Mr. unger, you take the north side. Alice, you take the south side.

Where is Mr. jernigan?

Oh.

Attention, travelers.

All flights to Chicago continue to be delayed due to severe weather.

Please stand by for further details.

Oh! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!

- Hi.

You can run, but you can't hide, junior.

- Surprise.

What a loser.

Ah! Huh.

Ugh. Eww.

I got him!

Huh!

Whoa!

Huh?

Ohh!

You are dead, kid.

Ugh!

Whoa.

Now things are lookin' up!

Gotcha!

- Whoa! - See ya.

Ugh. Yuck.

Steady. Yeah.

Well, well, well.

Nice try, kid.

Oh! Oh.

Ooh! Whee-yah!

Hmm.

Alice?

I'm coming down!

Aah!

Aah!

Mr. jernigan, Mr. unger!

- Welcome. - You got a haircut?

Are you almost done in there?

Don't start with me.

I'll wait.

Let's move.

Ugh. What stinks?

Shut up.

Hello?

Honey, you're all out of breath. Is something wrong?

- No, no! Everything's fine. - I'm so worried. The weather is terrible.

- I'm gonna come home right now. - No, no. Take your time.

Really. Don't come home, mom.

- Um, why don't you pick up Stan and Molly from school? - Are you sure?

Yeah. I'm playing Chinese checkers with Mrs. hess.

- You're not smoking, are you? - No. I gotta go.

Mrs. hess gets nutty when you make her wait.

- Okay. Play fair. - Always.

What a brave little fellow.

Mr. jernigan. Living room clear.

Good.

Mmm. Nothing in the kitchen.

Let's organize.

Mr. unger, go to the left. Mr. jernigan, follow me, slowly.

Go, Doris.

Ah.

Mr. unger, go left.

Cover him. I'll cover the stairs.

I'm comin' for you, shorty.

Comin' to pay you back for all the misery you caused me.

- Mr. unger, what are you doing? - Kid's in the closet.

Scarin' him a little just before I grab him.

And behind door number one--

towels.

- Hmph. - I saw this door close.

Idiot.

Would I make it up? Why? What's the point? We working on commission here?

Phew.

Right. Follow the sergeant. We'll go left.

Clear the halls.

What's up, fellas?

- What's going on? - You're Mrs. pruitt from Washington street?

Yes. Agent stuckey, f.B.I.

I came to talk to your son.

You called the air force about a computer chip in a remote control car?

- No. - Oh, god. It's Alex.

It's-it's my-my other son. Why? What's happened?

He may be in danger.

- He's not here. He's at home. - Well, let's move.

Why is he in danger?

She asked you a question, sir.

I'm not at Liberty to discuss it, son.

The "it" you're referring to is my little brother.

We think he intercepted a top secret electronic device...

Stolen from a defense department contractor...

By a group of international criminals working for a north Korean terrorist organization.

Mr. jernigan, cover me.

Go, Doris, go.

Sorry, Charlie.

This just ain't your day.

Ah!

- Shut up.

What? Don't move.

- Alice? - Don't... move.

Alice?

- What? Alice? - Shh, shh, shh.

- Alice?

- Excellent. - Run, shorty, run!

- Come on, Doris! - The kid!

Doris, come on!

I got you now, you little rat!

I got him! I got him!

Whoa!

You... smacked my winkie.

Well, if you changed your shorts once in a while,

maybe you wouldn't have rats in your pants!

All right, you little rug rat!

Where is he?

Stay here, Doris.

Yikes.

Come on!

Fire!

He's been watching us the whole time.

He had a camera on us.

You're not gonna find me up there, you big, dumb, lawbreaking knuckleheads!

He's outside!

Recognize this?

How did he get outside?

- The same way you're gonna get outside. - How?

Jump! Go! Aah! Don't push!

It's a trampoline. You're jumping onto a trampoline.

I presume then that you won't be joining us?

No. I'll be covering you from here. Go! How comforting!

Come on. He's gettin' away!

Yeah, this is a snap. This is a snap.

Go!

Whoa! No!

Huh?

Whoa! Waah!

Oh, god! Cold. Very cold.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Fire!

Of course.

Here I come, you little brat.

Ouch.

Mrs. hess!

Mrs. hess.

Hmm. Mrs. hess?

Hmm?

You're okay. I'm here now.

Well.

It's Alex, isn't it?

Today you learned something:

There is a price to be paid for being a good citizen.

In your zeal to aid your neighbor, you finally slipped into one of my traps.

Can Mrs. hess go inside? She's very old and very cold.

Please?

Give me the chip! It doesn't belong to you. It's not yours.

The chip, son. Give me the chip.

That doesn't belong to you either.

What? That's not your gun.

This is your gun.

Gotcha.

Here. Sit down, Mrs. hess.

Thank you, Alex.

These are times that call for soup. Any favorites?

No. Thank you. I'm-- I'm fine, honey.

You know, Mrs. hess, it's really cold outside.

You're a pretty tough old bird.

And you're a very sweet young man.

I just never took the time to notice.

You're not alone in that.

- Over here. Hey! - Wow.

Move it!

That's it! Johnson, Williams, go around back.

Let's go around the back!

Freeze!

You gotta be kidding.

- That's it! - Let's cordon off the other end of the block!

- Come on! Move it! Move it! - Alex.

Check over there!

Mom!

Oh!

Oh!

Mom. You're hugging and kissing me in front of the cops.

Oh, Alex. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry i didn't listen to you.

This is very cool.

Bud, you're a hero.

- Are you Alex? - Yeah.

Agent stuckey, f.B.I.

Here's the chip.

There's a senior citizen across the street...

That's gonna need some soup and a doctor to look at her feet.

There's two guys in our pool and a woman in our basement.

The other one's gone.

This him?

Yup.

Seven years I've been after this guy.

He always manages to slip away.

Thanks.

- It's just the three, sir. - Where's your boss?

Get 'em out of here! Yes, sir. Let's go, popsicle.

Come on.

Ha, ha, ha!

Lucy, I'm home!

- What's on your mind, monkey butt?

Houston, we have a problem.

Counting down in five, four, three,

two--

- take it. - Double or nothin'.

I only have one.

We have ignition.

- It's showtime!

Hey!

Now, I'll be there in just a minute. Okay. Bye.

Driver, it's the big old tudor place with the Christmas lights...

And the driveway that hasn't been shoveled.

- Eh? - That one right there.

Oh.

- Um-- get that whole thing?

Yeah.

Have you ever had the chicken pox?

I had the chicken pox when Herbert hoover was in the white house.

Hello. Hey there, stranger.

- Dad! - Hi, sweetie.

Hey, buddy! Come here.

Let me see.

Ah, you don't look any worse for the wear. They couldn't touch me.

The computer company that got their chip boosted is giving Alex a reward.

It's a six-figure sum, which is extremely cool.

So, did you bring me anything?

As a matter of fact, i did.

Come here.

Think you can drive that?

I think we can handle it.

Gentlemen, start your engines!

360, 360!

Rat overboard!

Say cheese.