Original subtitles

(TWITTERING)

Better here? Or better here?

You don't want to be walking around blind

at Christmas, Mrs. Ryor. Help me out.

I don't need glasses.

You need binoculars. We're settling for glasses.

Glasses will make me look old.

Try these.

look hot.

Evening, Father Bruce.

Hello, Dr. Finch.

Dr. Finch!

Hello, Gustave, Gerta.

I'd love to chat and so,

but you know how focused Gerta gets on our runs.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Auf Wiedersehen.

Auf Wiedersehen. You should maybe get that looked at.

but I need you to hang the decorations,

Mayor Young.

What do you think? Lookin' good.

Thank you.

Fortunately my wife has a porcelain doll collection,

so she lent us her Marilyn Monroe.

Yeah. Don't go overboard with the lights though. We don't want to seem tacky.

Whatever you say, Steve. Winterfest is your baby. Hey, hey.

never told a soul.

Until today.

It's the raw quail eggs, isn't it?

It's the texture, right? The grainy, slimy, milky...

Can you taste the curry?

You are such a bad liar.

I knew it was awful. It's awful, right?

Yeah.

Excuse me?

Oh, honey, you don't mean that.

A half season of soccer.

Cleared legendary mode of Halo.

A lackluster stint in the Cub Scouts.

Hey. Hey. Guess what day it is.

Come on. Guess.

Maddy.

I don't know, and I don't care.

It's December 1.

(GROANS)

Yes. This is a busy time of year,

so we have to have a game plan.

you shouldn't have to use the term "flanking maneuver."

Look. Look, I know it's only December 1... Uh-huh.

...but I have all the planning to do for the Winterfest.

You have a cookbook to write. The kids have school.

It all goes by so quickly.

Before you know it, Christmas will be over.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean that we have to plan every second.

Christmas was not a priority for him.

We... We didn't even have a tree.

Well, I want things to be different for my kids.

I want them to have big family traditions, year after year,

You're right.

I'm gonna try to be more supportive.

Well, you should be.

Madison is a loner. She has hardly any friends.

Carter's a 10-year-old boy with a midlife crisis.

Let's face it. Our kids are a little weird.

Snowmen, eggnog, caroling, we're gonna do it all, okay?

Okay.

And I don't write cookbooks.

You always say that I write cookbooks, but I don't.

I just edit other people's recipes,

and then I compile them into cookbooks that nobody buys.

Then write your own Oh, great.

Well, I think you should. Really?

Yeah. I think you could. Really?

Sure.

(TRUCK ENGINE SPUTTERING)

KELLY: Ooh, it looks like we have new neighbors.

Who moves in the middle of the night? A meth lab?

Hmm.

Whoa, big guy.

Take it easy. Hot, hot. Hot.

You're spazzin' out on me. You're havin' a seizure.

Oh. I got Tasered once. It looked exactly like that.

And I'm man enough to say I wet myself.

Who are you?

I'm Buddy Hall. We just moved in across the street.

You don't happen to have a cat, do you? No.

Oh, good. Because I was moving in last night,

Don't put the little guy away on my account.

Tia, this is Kelly. Kelly, this is Tia.

Mmm. It's good.

MADDY: I can't believe you're making me do this.

KELLY: We're just gonna stop and say hello.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(GRUNTS) Come on in. It's open.

Oh. Good. Oh, honey, could you come over here and give me a little boost?

TIA: You're kidding me. Fifteen?

My girls are 15.

Girls, get your butts down here! We've got company!

Carter. Carter.

(GASPS)

You're staring.

Oh. Oh.

rSorry about that. I used to do a little modeling.)

Mostly for art classes at the community college.

Really. Was he an artist?

Nah. They caught him peeking in through the windows.

You know, I just got so tired of dating boys.

No offense. Mmm.

Then one day I met Buddy, and

he just swept me right off my feet.

Oh.

TIA: Oh, there you are.

KELLY: Hi, girls BOTH: Hi.

This is Madison, and this is Carter.

You know, you girls will probably be in a lot of the same classes.

Great. Are there any hot guys?

Really?

Sure. You'd do that for me?

Yeah. No problem. I'll just...

I'll bring the car around while they get dressed.

Oh, they are dressed. Trust me.

This is more clothes than they've worn in months.

Get in the car.

You got a fake I.D.?

Nice girls.

You kidding me? I pray every day for the strength

not to run over the both of them with a truck.

MAN: All right. Listen up, you guys. We just got in

a new shipment of Aspens.

Come on. Yeah. How you doin'?

All right. All right. All right.

Hi.

(SOFTLY) Okay.

(WHISPERING) Oh, this is gonna be good. Oh!

Buddy! Oh.

He's all yours.

Hmm.

don't know. I...

I got a thousand bucks says you can't sell him.

Let me in on that action.

You know... Thousand bucks?

...let's just make it three.

(ALL LAUGHING)

We got ya!

You walked face-first into that buzz saw. (IMITATES SAW)

Money on my desk by the end of the day. No checks.

That... That's not possible.

Mr. Murray owns the dealership.

And the worst part is I paid sticker.

(KNIFE CHOPPING)

And?

(SIGHS)

Sold a car the first five minutes!

Buddy, no! Oh, my God!

Oh, baby. I'm so proud of you. great. It's

Great, great, great, great, great.

No, it's great. I'm a car salesman.

Carpets. Uh, copiers.

Futons.

(MUTTERS)

It's all the same.

I don't know. I was just hoping that,

you know, one day I'd do something big.

You are. You're going to pay off our monumental debt.

(GRUMBLES)

Buddy, you promised me.

Oh. Well, I will keep my promise.

"hat was a little...

Everything's gonna be great.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Emily's already used it to track the, like, five hottest guys in school.

Yeah, Dad. Three of them live two blocks from here.

Wow. That's more math than you've done in years.

Easy. You can see every house from space?

Yeah. Let's see.

Space, huh?

(CHUCKLES)

Not gonna be invisible anymore.

(LOUD BANGING)

What's the matter? All the clocks in your house busted?

No, I know what time it is.

Oh. What, did ya

No. No. I was being sarcastic.

Oh. Well, you gotta know that stuff

Yeah. It's pretty damn bright.

Oh. Is that what's bothering you? The lights?

Yes. That's right. Oh, I'm sorry.

Thank you. Oh.

Steve.

boy, it would be bad if I ticked off the only guy I know.

Buddy Hall. And you are?

so I'll know when you're gonna talk weird?

This is gonna be good. Come on. It's so late.

Get that satellite image up that you had before.

Go on. Here. Honey, you sit here. Really?

Yeah. Sit right there and watch. Yeah.

There's so many buttons. I'll do it. Move.

Stick around. I want you to see this.

You still can't see it.

You're gonna miss it.

Sorry, Daddy. What do you mean you can't see it?

It's impossible. I put so many more lights on.

It's a horse-drawn sleigh.

Don't see many of these around anymore.

No, you don't.

Nice.

I'll take it!

We always wear matching sweaters for the family Christmas card.

Hmm? Look, huh?

Please.

Are we ready?

There. You see? Mom's wearing hers.

It's true. Madison's right.

She's got her whole life ahead of her.

He starts acting all depressed so people feel bad for him

and buy him bigger presents.

Hey. The new neighbors have reindeer.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God.

It's so cute. Where in the world did you find it?

Eugene Young down at the hardware store sold it to him.

Yeah, well, apparently, reindeer are not indigenous to the region.

ASHLEY: That sweater is really cool.

You know, I'm not sure. I have so many,

it's kind of hard to keep track these days.

(HORSE WHINNIES)

Well, this has been fun.

So, let's go... Let's go take the picture, huh?

It's a tradition.

But wouldn't it be nice to try something new this year?

I don't think so. No. Here's a hat.

No. Take the picture in the sled.

That's silly.

That's the way to do it.

It's adorable.

Carter, get out of that right now.

Also, we should keep our voices down a little bit because

You found these horses? Yeah.

Come on. All right, Carter. Let's go.

Give me the reins. Give me the reins. Come on, Carter.

Let go of the reins.

(WHINNIES)

Honey! Steve!

(ALL SHOUTING)

Honey!

(WHINNYING)

Run, Honey! run, run, run!

Whoa. Whoa.

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

Ow!

(GROANING)

Ah!

Ooh!

(SCREAMING)

Oh!

Oh, boy!

BUDDY: Oh. He's coming to.

I think he's gonna be all right.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

The doctor said he probably saved your life.

Which is only fair, since he's the one

who almost got me killed in the first place. (HORNS HONKING)

Look at it now. People driving by all night.

(HORNS HONKING)

(CHATTERING)

You see that?

You see that? I think he's tapping into our power.

Look at what he dropped off.

He knew we didn't get a chance to take

a picture for our Christmas card,

so look what he made from a picture he took at the hospital.

Come on now. That is a nice gesture, don't you think?

Okay.

Okay. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know.

No! Yes.

'Cause I really like Tia. (PEOPLE SHOUTING)

And you just need to find a way to get along with Buddy.

Okay. But he's not touching any of my trees.

Okay, fine. But they're coming with us.

Hey, Mom. Hi, sweetie.

Hey, Dad. I was thinking.

(CACKLING)

Come on, kids. Carter, come on.

Oh. You guys have your own lot. "Private."

Yes. Isn't it great? Steve's been working on it for years.

So nice. We love it.

Oh, this is amazing, honey. Look.

Nice? It's perfect.

A 12-foot Silver Noble.

(GIRLS GIGGLE)

Laugh all you want,

And each one of them is perfect.

No twisted trunks, no bald spots.

Please. It's not like it's a race.

Give me the ax, Carter. No way he beats us.

KELLY: You're gonna ruin the forest. What's happened?

What's happening? I don't know.

It's got the fence too.

"he trees.

The little one. The little one.

Fifteen years I've been growing those trees.

He obviously didn't mean to do it, honey. It was an accident.

He did offer to cut you down a tree, Dad.

You get the tree, Son.

BUDDY: Go right between the cars. EMILY: Okay.

All right, here we go. Keep it up. That's a girl.

I'm pretty sure you broke the record cutting this one down, Dad.

(LAUGHS)

Better one. Better two.

Hey! Hi, guys!

Hi, guys!

Hi! Thanks for coming! Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Gonna run a sequencer on the lights.

Buddy. Synchronize it to the music.

These people are depending on me

to give 'em something amazing.

That's just what I'm gonna do.

Aah! Aah! Is it me? Oh, G...

Probably a good idea to have a fire extinguisher around.

I was talking to Buddy here. After all, he is the expert.

Come on. Would you have a look?

Watch my stuff, Steve. Now...

Folks, everything's free today.

Anything you want. It's all free.

BUDDY: I love the colored strands of lights. The spacing is great.

He likes it! Hey, Steve.

That... That is a tree. Yes, it is.

Huh? Yeah.

Listen, we need to get something straight.

Yeah, sure, sure.

Couple of pumpkins in the yard, a skeleton or two,

It'll be great. What do you think? don't think so.

No?

This Winterfest thing...

What is this all about?

Oh, it's our... Our annual Christmas carnival.

Yeah, we have a show, games,

ice sculpture, races.

Well, so did I.

MAN: Excuse me.

Wallace Fiskin. Oh!

how do you feel about the liberal use of mistletoe?

Well, I feel that you should go sparingly around the threshold,

because that's a cliche.

Please. Please.

My mission is clear.

Wallace, thank you. Good luck.

Would you take this inside for me? Oh, my pleasure.

Steve! Oh, Steve!

I guess I'm the new Christmas guy.

That's okay. You can take Toe Jam Day.

Oh.

This isn't over yet.

I'm the Christmas guy!

(STEVE VOCALIZING)

I'm gonna write my own cookbook.

You know what?

It should be a cookbook for real moms who cook for real families!

waiting for you in the front yard!

Fifty. Isn't that great? (CROWD CHATTERING FAINTLY)

You know what?

(GASPING)

Okay!

I'd be happy to! Yes? Yea!

(STEVE VOCALIZING) KELLY: Kids!

Wow! Nice!

Where are your clothes?

Calm down. I have a jacket.

Well, keep it zipped.

They'll be over just as soon as the boys get here.

Boys? Boys? Madison is not allowed to date.

They're in the navy?

Bye, Dad!

Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!

(ALL CHEERING)

Oh. Thank you for coming, and thank you for...

Uh, no, I...

(GERMAN)

Yes, do you have "The Ignorant Snowman"?

No, I don't think I do. But we can...

Anyway, I thought that we would start with

one of my... My very favorites,

■The Holly and the Ivy."

Pitch pipe.

Sorry, honey. Go ahead.

Come back here! We're not done with rehearsal!

Come back. We're not... We're going caroling.

It's a... It's a tradition. Everybody...

Honey! You!

I'm not going anywhere.

Oh, look. They are going to be making kissing and so.

and we would love to have an interview.

Where are they going?

Hi. I... I'm just very happy that everyone likes the lights.

Oh! (GIGGLES)

REPORTER: Yes, indeed.

Obviously you have put an awful lot of work into this.

Oh, yeah. And I'm nowhere near being finished.

Oh, are you kidding me? Jesus!

Look at that.

The lights have obviously brought out

the Christmas spirit in everyone.

in the world.

Oh, please.

I really want my house to be seen

Oh, my God!

Outer space.

Oh, God!

Honey. Wait!

Wait. What are you gonna do?

Why? You wanna make me an offer?

No. I need to get out.

Okay.

Scoot on through.

You hold my beer, I'll do it for you.

Okay, okay, I'll do it.

Just... Just guide me out.

All right.

Hey, you could probably use a few more

lights on your house, don't you think?

That's okay. I'm your eyes.

I'm your eyes.

Straight back. Doesn't look like enough room to me.

Okay. You ready?

One, two...

Gun it!

WOMAN: Oh, no!

Ayayayayay!

(HORN HONKING) Get out of the way, please. Excuse me.

(POP CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

Sheriff Dave, you have to do something about my neighbor's house.

Oh, yeah, yeah, the Hall place.

I take my kids by there every night after dinner. (LAUGHS)

It just keeps gettin' bigger and bigger.

Yes, well, that's... That's why I want you to arrest him.

I can't arrest a man for decor... What are you looking at?

What, this? No! No.

I... I don't mind if you wear a br...

I... Looks like a nice one.

Did you think I was wearing a bra?

No, no. That would... That would be crazy. (CHUCKLES)

what with the Winterfest coming up.

But if you want to file a complaint, I'll fill out the paperwork.

Now,

where is that form?

Yes. Here we are.

Dr. Finch?

Yo.

Sleigh man.

What happened? I woke up, and you were gone.

What are you doing out here?

(GASPS)

(SIGHS)

Yeah, it is.

Oh, come on. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

You want our lights to be seen from space.

I'll take 'em all down tomorrow.

You touch one bulb on that house

You just said they look stupid.

Yeah! It's crazy!

But all good ideas are crazy.

These are lights.

Oh, come on.

Who knows?

Might turn out to be

something monumental.

I can always count on you, can't I?

Sure.

Mmm.

Oh, cow! We'll have buttermilk pancakes tomorrow.

What is he up to now?

He's bringing in animals for a live manger scene.

Unbelievable.

STEVE: Is that a camel?

BUDDY: Look at that.

DELIVERYMAN: Yep.

Oh. I... What are you doing up anyway?

It's late. You should go to bed. Zip up your coat.

You're gonna cut his power, aren't you?

Need a lookout?

(CARTER GARBLED ON RADIO)

What? What? What channel are you on? Hello?

(SHOUTS) He's coming! Hide!

(GRUNTS)

Oh, good Lord!

(BELLOWS)

That's disgusting.

No. No. Get away from me.

Well, go, before he comes back!

Pardon me.

Yeah! Yeah!

What the hell are you doing over there?

Oh, my God. You smell. Were you with the camel?

Sorry, Mom.

It was his idea.

remember, I did it.

The lights are off. The lights are finally...

(COUNTRY MUSIC BLASTING)

Now we're talkin'.

(GENERATOR CHUGGING)

You see that?

That's the Generac 3000, liquid-cooled generator.

Comes in handy in a pinch like this, don't you think?

Well, everything seems to be in order here, honey.

I think we should go to bed.

Good night, Buddy.

E... Excuse me. Is that your son

dangling from that telephone pole?

We're having him tested.

Oh. Yeah.

Well, good night.

Coming, Carter.

Where's my paper?

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

I'm making the call.

The neighborhood association is not gonna stand by while this g...

I... I... It's an amazingly generous gesture,

but we can't possibly accept it.

Oh, yeah, it's too much. Then again, we don't wanna be rude.

The car is yours. I'm not gonna take "no" for an answer.

After all I put you through, that's all there is to it.

Thank you so much.

This is great.

Enjoy. Thank you.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Vandals.

They took a chain saw to it last night.

Stole the whole thing, decorations and all.

Gee.

He couldn't have.

It can't be the same tree.

Dr. Finch, this came for you from the car dealer.

without knowing a thing or two about the art of selling cars.

(CHUCKLES)

Actually, Bob, you got to where you are

We're getting off-task here. It's not important.

What's important here is this month's

sales figures. They just came in.

Bob, what are we doing here? I should be out there selling cars.

You can't sell cars if you're never here.

it's the lights,

the Christmas lights.

everything I started.

I can't quit this, Bob.

I gotta finish this.

Hey, Steve!

What is this? Hey, what is this? What's inside here?

Hmm.

Well, I don't have my X-ray goggles with me,

but I'm guessing that's the bill to the new car you bought.

I didn't buy a car. You gave me a car.

Tr... The tree? What tree?

I don't know about any tree.

And unless they have film on it, you don't know about any tree.

...and stuck it in my living room.

And you made me believe that that car was a present.

Steve.

If you would've looked at the bill, you would have noticed

that I shaved my commission by almost a third,

which, in most circles, is quite a substantial gift.

Well, your gift is parked outside.

Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. You cannot

walk away from your obligations.

You signed the contract.

I didn't sign anything.

No, that's true. You didn't sign anything.

Let's go outside right now. Come on.

Let's do it. I'm gonna kick your ass!

Relax. We're not barbarians.

Yeah.

Yeah. Great idea. Great idea.

You win, I buy the car. I win, you take down the lights.

Tree sap.

(SMACKING)

You spared no expense.

I think you should do it, Carter. Do it.

Little wooden man goin' down!

Hello, Steve.

Hello.

Okay, give him five dollars, Son.

Look at the two of them.

Why are they working so hard at hating each other?

It's not too late to back out, Finch.

What are they doing now?

I mean, let's... Let's just... I can't...

(PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

Buddy! Buddy!

Oh! STEVE: Come on.

You two have tweaked my last nerve.

She's right. This is crazy.

Talk it out.

(MOCKING) "Talk it out."

Now, that is something we can agree on.

I mean, that's got it goin' on.

Look at that. (LAUGHS) Right?

Yes. You're a guy, right?

Hey! Hey! Is it gettin' hot out here, or is it just you girls?

(VOCALIZING) Oh, nice dip.

Wow!

Whoo! Ow! (CHUCKLING)

STEVE: Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!

Hey, baby! Who's your daddy?

Who's your daddy?

Oh, God. I'm your daddy.

I'm your daddy! I'm your daddy! Ah!

For one second I let myself think you were

a normal guy, and this is what happens.

You blame me forthis? "Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?"

(WALLACE ON P.A.) The annual Winterfest speed skating races

throwing caution to the wind,

risking their very lives

Okay, so they're not risking their lives.

But they are skating pretty fast, and it's really cool.

It's Winterfest's ninth annual speed skating race!

Well, looks like somebody got cold feet.

Let's start the race. STEVE: Wait!

Go, Dad!

Thank you, Carter.

Dad! Dad! He's our man! If he can't do it, nobody can! Dad!

Honeys! Get set!

Go!

Oh! Oh!

Finch is down!

Finch is down!

Foul!

but he's got a lot of ice to catch up.

it's Buddy Hall, Gustave and Gerta.

Finch really appears to be struggling as he rounds turn two

and heads for the straightaway.

Wait. Mayor Eugene Young has yet to leave the starting line.

You're going the wrong way!

And they've taken the lead!

Buddy Hall seems to be running out of gas.

The crowd urges him on, but it may not be his day.

Once again, he jumps the bale, almost taking out Buddy in the process!

And miraculously, Steve Finch has taken the lead going into the final turn!

Steve Finch has a huge lead!

Hi-yah! Hyah!

Nothing can stop him now!

Yeah!

Finch is sent sprawling!

CROWD: Buddy! Buddy! Buddy!

How's it feel to be invisible?

Huh?

What?

Okay, let's go over it. The L.E.D. lights,

the grid, the wires, the shipping, the handling, everything.

How much?

What? I... Are you serious?

Can you get it here overnight?

I'm not talking about the trees! so that we got...

What's that?

You know exactly what this is.

This is the stand to my vase.

You pawned it, didn't you? You pawned my grandmother's vase.

Well, how am I supposed to afford a camel

You lost your job?

That was a pretty awkward way for you to find that out.

Not me. Not anymore.

Oh, honey, honey, honey, things... Things are gonna get better.

When? I'm tired of waiting, Buddy,

waiting for you to find the right job, the right town.

Waiting for you to find that one true thing that makes you happy.

I just thought you might wake up one day,

and see that it just might be me,

You know what? I'm done.

Honey. Oh, come on. Don't...

Please. Baby... No! "hese cords are...

These cords are everywhere!

Oh, no. Honey...

WOMAN: Buddy Hall's Christmas wish is to make his house bright enough

to be visible not just from miles around,

but from space.

Oh. Um. Right.

When we heard about Mr. Hall's,

well, quest, if you will, we decided

Right. Nothing yet.

Wow. Thank you for that.

This may be one Christmas wish even Santa can't grant.

I'm really happy that you came tonight.

I hope you enjoy these lights, 'cause I did 'em all for you.

(CROWD MURMURS)

And for my family.

And for my wonderful neighbors across the street. Thank you.

(CHOIR HUMMING)

(LOWING)

(BLEATING)

(RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCHES)

(CHOIR SINGING CHRISTMAS MUSIC)

(CLASSICAL CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

(HIP-HOP CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

(RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCHES)

(BLUES CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

Tia!

Па! Come back!

(MUSIC ENDS)

(ALL CHEERING)

If you missed anything,

this show is gonna be repeated

until 4:00 A.M.

(POP CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

(SHOUTS)

If he wants to play rough, I can play rough.

Steve!

Where are you going? Steve...

I hear if someone's in the market for something with a little

pop, you're the guy.

Don't let the reindeer pajamas fool you, pal.

I'm not playing around. I'm looking to do some serious damage.

Yeah? Cool. Then you've come to the right place.

'Cause I got enough firepower back here for two wars.

I got Reapers, Crackle Dragons,

Wagon Wheels, Throbbing Copperheads.

Great. I'll take 'em all.

What's this for, man?

I'm gonna shoot them at my neighbor's house

and hopefully give him a heart attack.

Cool. In that case, you need this.

The Atomic Warlord. Wow.

(PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Good night, Steve.

Good night, Buddy.

(GRUNTS)

Not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse.

You want lights, Buddy? You want lights? I'll show you lights.

STEVE: Whoo!

Oh, yeah! Yeah! How do you like that?

Yeah, sleep through that, Buddy.

Huh? Huh?

Whoo!

Yeah! How's that feel, huh?

Hey, you think they can see that from space, Buddy?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Whoo!

How does it feel to have your whole world exploding around you?

Oh, no. Oh.

Oh, gosh.

Steve? Where are you? What's happening? Honey?

(GROANS)

Ooh.

Oh, God. I really wish that hadn't happened.

Honey?

Whoo.

(GASPS)

Kelly! Kelly!

You sure you've been watering that thing? It went up awfully fast.

Are you kidding me?

Fire extinguisher.

Oh...

Yeah, yeah. Faulty Christmas lights. An under-watered tree.

What can I say? We're a cautionary tale.

So the fact that you apparently purchased

an illegal-grade military firework

and set it off in your own home

had nothing to do with it, huh?

That could have been a contributing factor.

What about this?

I've never seen that before in my life.

You're getting to be a knot in my panties, mister. A real knot.

All right, let's go!

Hey, kids. What are you...

Where you going? Huh?

Hey, Madison. Father.

What's going on? Kelly. Kelly, what are you doing?

I'm trying to salvage at least part of this Christmas for the kids.

What? What? Wait. No. You're leaving?

You're leav... Oh, come on. It's not that bad.

It's not that bad. Most of the smoke damage

was confined to the family room.

And on the bright side, hey, you always hated that wallpaper.

Now that high-pressure hoses have completely ripped it off the walls...

We're gonna go stay in the motel with Tia and the twins.

Oh, come on, Kelly. Don't do that.

Don't let that... That jerk ruin our Christmas.

The only jerk ruining Christmas around here is you.

Me? Yeah.

Me? I'm trying to save Christmas.

Really? What is your favorite Christmas memory?

Well... Well, you know what it is.

I was seven years old. My dad and I moved to Alabama,

and on Christmas morning we woke up and sat on the kitchen floor,

ate french fries and drank chocolate milk.

Yeah. Exactly. It wasn't planned. It wasn't organized.

Nobody had to enter it into their BlackBerry. It just happened.

But our family's so busy, we have to plan things out.

No. You... You are the busy one.

You said this year our kids needed Christmas more than ever. No.

What they need more than ever is you.

Carter wanted to go Christmas shopping with you.

And he wanted to cut down that tree with you.

And Madison... Well,

Madison's a teenage girl, so she just pretty much ignored you.

But if you'd been paying attention,

you would have seen that she just wants you to know

that she's not a little girl anymore.

Ye ah Г Ye ah "we 11, that's a message I got pretty clear.

You just don't get it.

Christmas traditions are born in those little

chocolate milk and french fry moments.

And you can't control it.

We don't fit in the tiny little boxes on your Christmas calendar.

Oh, don't.

(ENGINE STARTS)

What'll I eat?

Wait! Kelly, don't! Wait!

(HORN HONKS)

Whoa.

Steve.

What happened to your house? Did you have a fire?

Wait. Wait. Are you trying to tell me

you weren't even home last night?

No. No, Tia and the girls went and stayed in a motel.

I spent all night throwing little pebbles at their window to try

to get them to talk to me.

You missed the whole...

Oh, that's nothing. What is this?

That's nothing. That's just, like... Huh?

The kids probably left it out here last night.

It's just a wire that goes...

I knew it. You've been stealing my power.

Borrowing. Look, it's an extension cord. It goes both ways.

I was gonna shoot it right back to you after the holidays.

Okay, fine. Fine. You win.

You win. The skating, the lights, the trees...

You've been two steps ahead of me the whole time.

But you know what?

You're still a screwup. And that doesn't change because you...

You put some lights on the roof.

Hey, pal,

you're gonna be spending Christmas alone

just like the rest of us screwups.

How do you like that?

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GIRL SOBBING)

Tootie!

Tootie, where are you?

Look. We're luckier than lots of families, because we're really going.

Wait till you see the fine home we're going to have,

and the loads and loads of friends we'll make, wonderful friends.

What's amazing, Tootie, is that we're all going to be together,

just like we've always been.

That's what really counts.

We could be happy anywhere as long as we're together.

(SOBBING CONTINUES)

(CLATTERING)

(SIGHS)

Um...

I see you're taking down all the lights.

Oh, you noticed.

What are you, some kind of genius?

Apparently not.

I can't do it, Buddy. I...

I can't spend Christmas without them.

fell me about it.

This is awful. It's killing me.

I mean, you know Tia.

She's so stubborn.

She won't even talk to me.

I tried everything.

Maybe not everything.

(GAVEL BANGING)

MAN: Your Honor!

Girls, come over here. Help us decorate the tree.

Mom,

you're hanging booze from the minibar

on a branch you got out of the bumper of a car.

Pardon me for not being in the Christmas spirit.

We're trying to make the best of it, honey. Yeah.

You girls put those books down and get your butts over here.

Are you reading?

Emily Dickinson. Madison gave it to us. It's really good.

Yeah, and it's not giving me a headache or anything.

Maybe I should go to law school or something.

(SIGHS)

Hey, Mom, look!

Carter, get back here.

I'll get him. Carter, get back here, you little fart.

Mom, you won't believe this. You guys have to come.

Carter!

It's like a path! Let's see where it goes!

TIA: Oh, my...

KELLY: It's just unbelievable. What do you think, sweetie?

CARTER: Mom, look at this one! It's real cool!

KELLY: I can't believe it keeps going!

Wow!

This is amazing.

Take a picture!

can't believe it.

KELLY: Amazing.

Carter!

Mom, all these lights...

Were Dad's lights.

STEVE: I begged you to let me do the yams.

BUDDY: I could tell right away you had no feeling for starches.

Your three-bean salad is very bad.

What did you expect me to do,

the three-bean salad and the fiesta corn?

We thought maybe you'd be hungry.

Tia, look. You thought some lights

and a TV dinner would make up for all the crap that I have...

Is that what I think it is?

We didn't have time to do a turkey.

So we made a few things from your new cookbook.

I got you this little pre-Christmas gift.

I missed you so much. Oh.

Oh, gosh. How did you afford it? How did you ever afford it?

Well, let's just say we're not gonna use

our credit cards for the rest of our lives.

You've been busy.

Kelly, I'm so sorry. It's just everything got so...

one day you blow up your house.

And it occurs to you that somewhere along the way,

things got out of hand.

It just seemed like your whole life had gotten so loud,

that the only thing you were gonna hear was an empty house.

You're right.

You were right. And you were right to leave.

You were. I understand.

You all were. You were all right to leave. And I'm so glad you're back.

So I can date now?

Sailors during wartime? No.

But you are growing up, so, I guess I have to get used to that.

Mr. Hall, you took down all your lights.

Yeah. I thought it would be better.

Gee, I bet it would have worked.

Yeah, it might have. I bet they could have

seen our house from space.

We'll never know.

(HORN HONKING)

Then again, maybe you will.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

BUDDY: Whoa.

Look. I... I'm sorry. Urn...

You all have to go home.

There are no lights tonight.

Nope, but there will be!

Buddy, what's happening?

don't know.

I told them Buddy was a little short on lights

and maybe they'd like to come and help out.

How many people did you call?

You have no idea how bad the eyesight is in this town.

MTV is sending someone down to do a story on Buddy's lights.

They don't know he took 'em down.

Well, you just gonna stand there,

or are you gonna help me do this thing?

Let's go.

WOMAN: Hi, girls!

Ooh, it's beautiful.

Thank you so much.

And keep those truck lights on too. Those are good too.

Beautiful. Good to see you.

BUDDY: Steve, you're doing an excellent job. You got a future in this.

from Cloverdale, Massachusetts

where apparently the whole town

has come out to see if Buddy Hall,

a local car salesman, can achieve the impossible.

He's put up a Christmas light display in his front yard

that can hopefully be seen from space.

Now, the folks at My Earth have been monitoring this situation live.

Guys, thanks so much for spending your holiday plans with us.

Oh, no. That's no trouble at all. Actually, it's funny.

Basil's mum stopped by with a tin of biscuits,

so we're just having a laugh.

Oh. Good... Good times. Good times.

They're gonna do it! They're gonna turn on the lights!

All right. It looks like the moment has finally arrived.

Come on. Let's do this as a family.

Come on. Put your hand on it. Ready?

SUCHIN: All right, Everybody ready? Buddy. Yeah.

On the count of three. One,

two, three!

(ALL GASPING)

(CROWD GROANING)

Oh.

People worked so hard. They're gonna be so disappointed.

Honey, I'm gonna go get some candles.

(GROANS)

Okay. All right. Okay. I need light.

(BEEPS)

(GERMAN)

WOMAN: Wanna borrow my phone?

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

О Holy Night!

(CROWD JOINS IN) The stars are brightly shining

It is the night of the dear Savior's birth

Hey, Dad? Hmm?

Wouldn't it be great if we could do this every Christmas?

What do you think?

Yeah.

Yeah, we could use some new traditions around here.

Buddy, I really like this town.

and we could stay here?

Yeah, I like it too.

You do?

I'll get my job back.

I'll get my job back.

(SINGING CONTINUES)

BUDDY: Hey, Steve.

I know everything got really crazy, but

I just wanted you to know that when we first met, I wasn't lying.

I really did want to be your friend.

I know you did. I should have let you.

It's Christmas. Anything can happen.

Can we start over?

Nice to meet you. I'm Steve Finch. You are?

Buddy Hall.

Merry Christmas, Buddy. You too, Steve.

Yeah. Yeah.

The night when Christ was born

О night

TIA: О Holy

Night

О night

divine!

(SOUL CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

He bloody well did it.

SUCHIN: Wait... Wait, everyone. I'm getting confirmation.

Yes. Yes.

The house is clearly visible from space!

(ALL CHEERING)

Oh, my God!

Yea!

I'm so proud of you!

You can see it from space!

(BLUES CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC ENDS)