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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:33,731 So this is truly exciting... 2 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:36,165 Two by one equals... 3 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,537 Ah, Andy -- you could come up here, please? 4 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:41,698 Ahhh... 5 00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,642 Help out Mr. Puckov? 6 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,736 Oh... Andy. 7 00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:04,727 Andy? 8 00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:25,777 Oh, Mr. Puckov. 9 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,918 Oh, I want it. 10 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,613 So bad I can taste it! 11 00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:32,883 Oh, teach me, Mr. P. 12 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,495 Oh yeah, oh yeah. 13 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,791 Ohhh yeah, yeah yeah. 14 00:01:38,898 --> 00:01:40,388 Oh, Mr. Puckov. 15 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,627 Show me how it's done. 16 00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:49,101 Fill my virgin hole! 17 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:57,878 Oh. 18 00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:02,651 Ooooo, Mr. Puckov. 19 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,558 You're so raw! 20 00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:08,424 Ma! 21 00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:10,689 Did you eat all my cucumbers again? 22 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,025 Can you knock?! 23 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,599 Well I'm sorry, sweetie. 24 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,634 But every time I go to make a garden salad... 25 00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,669 my vegetables vanish. 26 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:20,204 I ironed your cap and gown for you. 27 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,331 We are so darn proud of you! 28 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,137 Thanks, Mom. 29 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:30,948 Oh, well... what happened to your gerbil? 30 00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:34,178 Oh, ah, Sparky, he... ran away. 31 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:38,183 Oh. 32 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,673 It's laundry day, Andy. 33 00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:56,765 I need everything dirty. 34 00:02:58,444 --> 00:02:59,376 Oh. 35 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:01,808 Ready for graduation, son? 36 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,509 Hey, hun -- there's your cucumber. 37 00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:06,050 Dear Lord! 38 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:07,551 No, no hun, that's just a... 39 00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:09,588 shrink wrap they put on at the supermarket. 40 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:10,678 Is that not right? 41 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:11,415 Yes. 42 00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:14,657 Hey, there's my needle-nosed pliers! 43 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:16,553 Ahhhhh! 44 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,689 Mommie... Dad. 45 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:21,924 Now calm down. 46 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:22,967 Now stop it. 47 00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:24,297 You'll just make yourself sick. 48 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:25,234 Okay! 49 00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:27,169 Let's just go outside- this is a man's thing, okay? 50 00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:28,900 Could you get out of here, please! 51 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,737 Let's just step out here, and I'll get you some 52 00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:32,435 nitroglycerin, okay? 53 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,979 We'll watch that Lawrence Welk DVD. 54 00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:36,378 AHHH! 55 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,646 Well, I guess that's life with a gay son. 56 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,886 Hmmm. 57 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,295 Woo! 58 00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:06,201 Your graduation speech was awesome, Griff. 59 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,830 I was so proud! 60 00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,271 I could always do better. 61 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,070 You're the Valedictorian, goober! 62 00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:12,735 Congrats on your baseball scholarship, dude. 63 00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:13,675 Thanks, man. 64 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,744 Welcome to adulthood, children. 65 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,215 Yay! 66 00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:29,019 So, who's gettin' laid at Muffler's graduation party tonight? 67 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:31,460 Well, Mr. Puckov said he might drop by, 68 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,998 and I'm technically not his student anymore... 69 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,727 so this could be my big night. 70 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,302 Heads up, here he comes. 71 00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:40,067 Oh, hello, Boys. 72 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,004 Hearty congratulations. 73 00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:43,439 Thanks, Mr. P. 74 00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:44,669 And I just wanted to say, 75 00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:46,074 that I'm really gonna miss your ass... 76 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,703 ...your class this year. 77 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,679 And we were just wondering whether or not you're going... 78 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,579 to be coming on any of us tonight 'cause I'm gonna... 79 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,447 be coming and I would really like it if you came, too. 80 00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:56,515 We shall see. 81 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,155 Some schools get an exchange student, 82 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:03,387 we get an exchange teacher. 83 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,760 Where the heck is Tartaristan anyway? 84 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,164 The Republic of Tartaristan is a Muslim state... 85 00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:10,701 in the former Soviet Union. 86 00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:13,533 I believe the capital is Kazan. 87 00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:15,106 Hey, Daisy! 88 00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:19,304 Forward, forward, good girl! 89 00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:22,279 Have you told her you're quote "bi" unquote yet? 90 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,406 No way! 91 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:24,847 You know I don't like labels. 92 00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,509 Besides, it would break her heart. 93 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,018 So shhhh, here she comes. 94 00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:32,784 - Hey, Daze. - Hi, Nico. 95 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:36,350 I finished designing your gown for the party. 96 00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:39,022 We are gonna make, like, SUCH a cute couple. 97 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,531 Okay, doll. 98 00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,692 Love ya, call ya, drive safe. 99 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,232 News flash, boys. 100 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,274 Looks like I'm finally takin' the plunge. 101 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:50,399 Do tell. 102 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,171 I've got a date and he is totally my type. 103 00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,872 Oh? And how do you define that? 104 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,710 I'm an ASSMAN, son. 105 00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:00,015 Asses aren't all they're cracked up to be. 106 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,917 I personally prefer a prodigious penis. 107 00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:05,616 You outta know, Griff. I remember from 8th grade, 108 00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:08,421 yours is like WOW. 109 00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:12,163 What the FUUUUUCK! 110 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,099 How you doin?! 111 00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:20,969 You boys still talkin' 'bout pussy, steada gettin' it? 112 00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:22,438 Ha, ha, ha. 113 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,669 Might wanna return those shriveled-up skin flutes... 114 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:28,406 of yours for a refund if you're not gonna fuckin' use 'em. 115 00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,675 Hello, I've used mine. 116 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,842 I mean... like for blowjobs-n-stuff. 117 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:39,653 Wake up, kids -- Fact is, none of ya has done "the big A." 118 00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:40,817 The what? 119 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,952 ANAL, dudes. 120 00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:48,193 You know, sausage-smugglin', fudge-packin'... 121 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,429 the old Hershey highway. 122 00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:52,799 Ewww! 123 00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:55,203 Well, my date's the captain of the St. Mary's football team. 124 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,408 And I think he's a bottom. 125 00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,240 All Catholics are bottoms, my friend. 126 00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:04,238 Take it from the Muff-ster. 127 00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:09,581 I expect all of you booty-virgins... 128 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:12,283 will be coming to my party tonight? 129 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:13,756 We'll be there. 130 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:14,827 Mmm-hmm. 131 00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,895 Ah, ha-ha... 132 00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:18,894 She is so full of shit. 133 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:23,958 She probably never even touched a... triangle. 134 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,095 Ewww! 135 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,510 I guess Muffler's right, though. 136 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:35,308 Scientifically speaking, we're all still virgins. 137 00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:37,780 Guess I don't have to feel like a TOTAL loser, then. 138 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:40,216 Well, at least the rest of us have SOME experience. 139 00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:43,015 Thanks, Jarod, that feels nice. 140 00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:44,953 Can't we talk about something else please? 141 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:47,753 Coming-out stories are pass� bourgeoisie! 142 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,556 This isn't about coming-out, we're WAY past that. 143 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,564 The topic is anus copulus. 144 00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,825 Hi-ya kids. 145 00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:58,631 Hi, Mrs. Hunter. 146 00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:03,607 Garsh darn, that Wal-Mart sure does have a nice photo shop. 147 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,940 If ya ask me, you and Daisy shoulda been voted... 148 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,105 King and Queen of the Prom. 149 00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:15,750 Mom! 150 00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:16,685 Oh! 151 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,892 Don't you think it's about time you came out to her? 152 00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:26,328 Are you kidding me? 153 00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,195 She doesn't have a clue. 154 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,633 What about your unique fashion sense? 155 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,601 Your obsession with gay cinema? 156 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,297 Your lip gloss!? 157 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:39,142 Mom suffers from an acute case of "Paul Lynde Syndrome." 158 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,713 She just thinks I'm "special." 159 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,152 Hey, who's Paul Lynde? 160 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,448 Is he hot? 161 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:53,787 Oh my goodness. 162 00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:57,957 So, Jarod. 163 00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:04,560 Did you ever like... you know, get to third base... like, finger someone? 164 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:07,002 Yeah, of course. 165 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,502 So... what's it feel like? 166 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:19,041 Like warm Quiche Lorraine. 167 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,352 Ohhhh... 168 00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:30,228 Muff-ster! 169 00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:30,985 Muff-ster! 170 00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:31,753 Muff-ster! 171 00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:32,520 Muff-ster! 172 00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,261 What the fuck! 173 00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,861 How you do-in', man? 174 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,439 Ha-ha-HA! 175 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,235 Ladies. 176 00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:46,311 Anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable... 177 00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:47,879 Hey, thanks for letting us come, Muffler. 178 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,050 Cindy, you brought the twins. 179 00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:55,914 Welcome to my maxi-pad. 180 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:00,990 Attractive garment. 181 00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:02,856 Nice COCK-tail. 182 00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:05,522 It's a Tijuana Sling. 183 00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:07,428 The new cosmo, Kojak. 184 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,330 How festive. 185 00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:11,767 Now pull the cork outta your ass and maybe... 186 00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:13,236 someone will fuck it. 187 00:11:17,643 --> 00:11:19,736 What the fuuuuck! 188 00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:23,943 Who's he? 189 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,612 He's practically perfect. 190 00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:31,189 Yeah, sure. 191 00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:33,349 But what did he score on the SAT? 192 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,805 So... whaddaya think? 193 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,207 Isn't Tyler hot? 194 00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:53,744 You're the stud, man. 195 00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:58,180 Yes, sir, he puts the ZZZ's in Aberzombie. 196 00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,446 What do I care? 197 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,749 He's a PNP power-bottom! 198 00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,721 Cool. 199 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,788 What's PNP? 200 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:12,897 Heck if I know. 201 00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:19,069 Who is that? 202 00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,639 Like, that's Muffler's Grandpa! 203 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:25,575 Ahsooo... he raise-a Dawn after she parent die... 204 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,441 in a Humvee accident. 205 00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:29,741 He looks like the Marlboro Man. 206 00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:32,317 Dude's a fuckin' GILWAD, girl. 207 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,613 What's a GILWAD. Buffi? 208 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,417 G.I.L.W.A.D. 209 00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,719 "Grandpa I'd let wine and dine me. 210 00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:42,453 pay for bigger breast implants, 211 00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:45,257 and then fuck them till I cum silicone." 212 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:48,231 But this-a too many letters, Buffi. 213 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,995 Does not-a add up. 214 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:53,196 I am a cheerleader, Tiki, not a calculator. 215 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,419 So you're like All-State baseball, right? 216 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:11,487 I heard you got a full ride at UCLA. 217 00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,489 Yeah, whatever. 218 00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:17,721 God, you are so straight-acting. 219 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:20,765 Mind if I pretend you're actually straight? 220 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,292 Pretend whatever you want. 221 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,071 Holy moley, there he is! 222 00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,287 Tonight's the night, I feel it in my bone. 223 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,588 Word on the street is, Mr. P. likes big shooters. 224 00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:53,961 Legend has it that in college he had to have his... 225 00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:58,696 stomach pumped after he serviced the entire golf squad. 226 00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:00,362 Big-time cum whore! 227 00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:03,775 Well I'll give him a ride he'll never forget. 228 00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:04,774 Yeah! 229 00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:08,574 Say I'm Fuckov. What would you do to me? 230 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,775 Yeah, but you look more like Ms. Mann. 231 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:18,654 Ha ha - yeah, that's funny. 232 00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:23,854 Oooooh. Mr. Puckov - yeah, you're so butch! 233 00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:28,263 Oh yeah... those strap-on plastic balls banging against my ass! 234 00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:32,336 Yeah, oh I'm gonna shoot, oh I'm gonna shoot! 235 00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:36,704 Ooooooohh Mr. Puckov -- I wanna have your BABY! 236 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:43,046 Oh, ah, I wasn't talking about you, Mr. Puckov. 237 00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,207 I was talking about a different Mr. Puckov. 238 00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:46,341 Your... Dad! 239 00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,885 Thank you. 240 00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:03,101 So. 241 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:05,602 You gonna take those off? 242 00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:06,636 Maybe. 243 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:07,569 Good. 244 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,504 'Cause I want you inside me. 245 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,246 Ah, no. 246 00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:19,647 I'm allergic to latex. 247 00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:23,851 Bareback me, straight-boy. 248 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:29,618 Ahhhhhhh! 249 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:33,663 Ah... so much better. 250 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,964 I had it made. 251 00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:48,479 Home free and then he went and blew chunks all over me! 252 00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,247 Every dog has his day, J. 253 00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:58,985 Unfortunately, our lives aren't coming-of-age films... 254 00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:02,254 where everyone magically gets laid at the climax. 255 00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:06,797 This isn't American Pie, Mary. 256 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,800 What's a boy gotta do to get some MAN SNATCH?! 257 00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:12,400 Deeper, Billy. 258 00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:14,199 Harder! 259 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,240 I love you, Trena. 260 00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,643 What is wrong with this picture? 261 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:23,545 Everyone's kickin' it, 'cept us. 262 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,776 If the heteros can have pre-marital intercourse, 263 00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:27,283 we homos should, too. 264 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:33,153 Hey, why don't you and Griff just fuck each other? 265 00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,562 Ewww -- no. 266 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,599 We're like brothers! 267 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:45,227 Besides, we're both exclusive tops. 268 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,670 And regardless, he is so not my type. 269 00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:49,741 Oh yeah? 270 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,104 What's wrong with me? 271 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,344 Yeeeeeeeees! 272 00:16:57,449 --> 00:17:00,907 Plow that PUSSY! 273 00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:04,013 Oh my goodness. 274 00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:28,410 Like, thanks, Dawn. I'll never forget this. 275 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:29,981 Pleasure's all mine, Suzi. 276 00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,716 Dawn's awesome! 277 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:53,336 Thanks for showing me my G-spot, Dawn. 278 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:55,236 Anytime, Buffi. 279 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,048 My GOD. 280 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:11,988 Bye, Tiki. 281 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:17,225 Dawn make-a Tiki leaky. 282 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,755 Oooh! 283 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,199 Me love you long time. 284 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:40,712 Once Dawn strikes. they ALL go dyke. 285 00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:42,548 Virgins. 286 00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:44,212 What the fuuuck! 287 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:46,788 What the fuuuck!? 288 00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:52,424 Muffler. 289 00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:53,998 She lays half the cheerleading squad... 290 00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:55,930 and we can't even cop a hand-job! 291 00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:59,629 We're all gonna go to college... virgins! 292 00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:01,103 Brainstorm, boyz. 293 00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,197 We just need to make a pact. 294 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,640 We all get laid before the end of the summer. 295 00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:07,769 As if we haven't been trying already. 296 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,144 We don't know shit about anal. 297 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:13,241 Maybe we've been taking the wrong approach. 298 00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:17,516 Maybe what we need... is someone to teach us. 299 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:19,284 Certainly logical. 300 00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:21,450 But... who? 301 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:27,260 College guys, older dudes, men with experience. 302 00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:30,392 Studs who can break us in and show us how to kick it RIGHT. 303 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,062 I'm beginning to like this idea. 304 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,801 Guys our age are sexually and emotionally immature anyway. 305 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:40,743 I want a seasoned older gentleman who can fuck... 306 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,837 all night and then discuss the filmography... 307 00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:44,643 of Shelly Winters in the morning. 308 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,877 Perhaps what you want is a daddy. 309 00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:48,714 No way, horsecock! 310 00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:52,221 It's just older men are... HOT! 311 00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,849 Our very virginity is at stake here, fellas. 312 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,951 This is it, this summer. 313 00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:00,225 This is our chance to make all our fantasies come true! 314 00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:01,128 YES! 315 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:05,735 First we each need to define whether we're top or a bottom. 316 00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:10,072 Well, wait... we have to choose? 317 00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,769 Well I, for one, am 100% top. 318 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,278 Of course, me too. 319 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,938 Who would want anything up their butthole, 320 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:17,947 in the first place? 321 00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:22,246 I hope you're writing this down. 322 00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,151 But... I could be into a dude, like, 323 00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:26,850 you know... taking control. 324 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,291 Riding me. 325 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:32,591 I'm putting you down as a "submissive top." 326 00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,359 Not that I wouldn't consider something in my back door. 327 00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:35,592 As long as it was small. 328 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,328 Like, a finger. 329 00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,530 Submissive top, pinky bottom. 330 00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:45,133 Isn't anyone "bottom curious?" 331 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,270 What are you curious about, Andy? 332 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,042 Ohhh... ahhhh... we were just talkin about... 333 00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:53,515 where do you get your hair done, 334 00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:56,315 cause my mom is looking for a new place? 335 00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,184 Oh, thanks. 336 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:01,123 I highly recommend Wal-Mart's Beauty Salon. 337 00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:03,126 Tell her to ask for Mr. Lance. 338 00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:06,095 He is a genius with a curling iron... 339 00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:09,793 and such a flirt! 340 00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:15,002 See!? 341 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,133 She just doesn't get it. 342 00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:19,039 What about you, Griff? 343 00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:20,475 Still thinkin' you're a top-daddy? 344 00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:21,944 Yes. 345 00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:24,072 But I don't know. 346 00:21:24,182 --> 00:21:26,514 I mean, it's all so theoretical. 347 00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:29,746 That leaves you, Andy. 348 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:31,982 Well I'm a top -- of course! 349 00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:35,355 "PUSSYBOY IN DENIAL." 350 00:21:36,928 --> 00:21:40,056 Okay, so... we all agree that we're gonna fulfill the pact... 351 00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:42,599 by penetrating a member of the same sex. 352 00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:43,793 What's the deadline? 353 00:21:43,902 --> 00:21:46,200 Muffler's Labor Day Bash makes good sense. 354 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,704 That gives us the entire summer. 355 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:48,773 All in favor? 356 00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:50,102 Aye. 357 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:51,675 Motion's carried. 358 00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:57,409 Ready or not, butt love here we COME! 359 00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:29,680 Okay, okay -- a little to the left, honey. 360 00:22:29,781 --> 00:22:31,578 Right there, great. 361 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:32,911 Now zoom out. 362 00:22:37,389 --> 00:22:38,981 I bet you look so handsome! 363 00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:10,280 Who's my daddy? 364 00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:23,497 - Son, I... - Dad! 365 00:23:23,602 --> 00:23:25,433 Oh, dear Lord! 366 00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:26,595 Can you knock?! 367 00:23:27,305 --> 00:23:28,272 Oh, jeez. 368 00:23:28,373 --> 00:23:29,897 - I was... - I had... 369 00:23:30,008 --> 00:23:31,407 I didn't seen anything. 370 00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:32,477 Okay. 371 00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:34,272 Whatever it was you were doing... 372 00:23:34,379 --> 00:23:36,244 it's completely normal. 373 00:23:36,348 --> 00:23:38,509 What were you doing, anyway? 374 00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:42,517 I was... grooming myself. 375 00:23:43,955 --> 00:23:45,616 Is that a gay thing, son? 376 00:23:45,724 --> 00:23:46,656 I don't know. 377 00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:47,725 Do you shave yourself? 378 00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:49,088 - Well... - No! 379 00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:50,525 You don't have to answer that. 380 00:23:52,864 --> 00:23:56,027 Andy... in light of what happened the other day... 381 00:23:56,134 --> 00:23:59,160 I thought that you deserved an early birthday present. 382 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:00,795 Thank you. 383 00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:05,999 Well... open her up? 384 00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:10,973 What is it? 385 00:24:11,416 --> 00:24:12,075 It's a butt plug. 386 00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:14,943 The butt plug, Andy, is a device, 387 00:24:15,053 --> 00:24:17,078 generally made of polyurethane, 388 00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:20,056 used to stimulate the anal cavity. 389 00:24:20,158 --> 00:24:22,183 This, of course, is the deluxe model. 390 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:26,025 and ah... this is the starter model, of course, 391 00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:28,929 with the handy suction base. 392 00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:29,693 Viola. 393 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,570 "Anal Pleasure and Health"? 394 00:24:37,676 --> 00:24:39,405 Oh, Andy. 395 00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:41,945 This book was VERY informative. 396 00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:44,572 In fact, I took the liberty of highlighting some of the... 397 00:24:44,683 --> 00:24:47,777 passages under the chapter "Getting to Know Your Sphincter." 398 00:24:47,886 --> 00:24:49,513 Ewwww. 399 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,983 Oh, Andy, Andy Andy. 400 00:24:52,791 --> 00:24:55,021 Being the receptive partner in a homosexual relationship... 401 00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:57,321 is nothing to be ashamed about. 402 00:24:57,429 --> 00:24:58,054 Okay? 403 00:24:58,163 --> 00:24:58,993 Yeah, thank you. 404 00:24:59,097 --> 00:25:00,689 Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 405 00:25:01,433 --> 00:25:05,267 In fact, this figure here 7.2 demonstrates the remarkable... 406 00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,065 adaptability of the human anus. 407 00:25:08,039 --> 00:25:09,370 Oh My God! 408 00:25:09,474 --> 00:25:10,304 What? 409 00:25:10,408 --> 00:25:10,931 Look... 410 00:25:11,042 --> 00:25:11,599 Yeah! 411 00:25:11,710 --> 00:25:13,177 Okay, Dad - thank you! 412 00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:14,472 That's incredible, isn't it? 413 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:24,848 What are these? 414 00:25:24,956 --> 00:25:28,221 Oh, those are for your mother. 415 00:25:28,326 --> 00:25:30,294 I sure know here size. 416 00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:33,125 Okay, I thought this went very, very well. 417 00:25:33,231 --> 00:25:35,927 And if you have anything else that you wish to talk about, 418 00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:38,127 you feel free to come knocking on my door, 419 00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:40,568 or call me, or even a text message. 420 00:25:40,672 --> 00:25:41,866 - Okay? - Okay. 421 00:25:41,973 --> 00:25:43,941 Great, it's just been great. And ah, we'll talk. 422 00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:45,633 Sorry. 423 00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:05,055 Come on, Andy! 424 00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:14,265 Come on now. 425 00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:16,938 You got it, you got it. 426 00:26:17,776 --> 00:26:18,435 Oh yeah. 427 00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:23,946 Strike two! 428 00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:26,116 You can do it, Andy. 429 00:26:26,217 --> 00:26:27,479 You must "fuck-us". 430 00:26:53,378 --> 00:26:56,347 Go Andy, run, run! 431 00:27:13,031 --> 00:27:15,329 Strike three, you're out! 432 00:27:28,446 --> 00:27:29,640 Yo. 433 00:27:29,748 --> 00:27:31,238 I'm Beau. 434 00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:33,010 Hey. 435 00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:34,415 Jarod. 436 00:27:34,519 --> 00:27:37,886 So... do you pitch or catch? 437 00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:41,856 I pitch. 438 00:27:44,095 --> 00:27:45,722 How 'bout you? 439 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:48,390 Pitcher, in the streets. 440 00:27:49,801 --> 00:27:51,701 Catcher in the sheets. 441 00:27:56,808 --> 00:27:57,706 Strike one. 442 00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:07,580 So, what are the chances of us playing some ball sometime? 443 00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:10,951 What are the chances of you whackin' this ball over that fence? 444 00:28:59,337 --> 00:29:01,737 Did you know the male animal can achieve orgasm... 445 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,172 without even stimulating his shaft? 446 00:29:04,275 --> 00:29:09,542 Ah, hello - Did YOU know Muffler is spreading a rumor... 447 00:29:09,647 --> 00:29:16,177 that Mr. Puckov trolls chatrooms under the screen name "Rodzilla." 448 00:29:16,287 --> 00:29:17,447 HOT! 449 00:29:18,923 --> 00:29:23,451 Wish me luck, boys, I just booked a date with baseball boy. 450 00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:25,085 Oh yeah? 451 00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:27,596 What's his name, anyway? 452 00:29:27,699 --> 00:29:28,757 Biff? 453 00:29:28,867 --> 00:29:29,697 Blaine? 454 00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:32,395 BLAND? 455 00:29:32,504 --> 00:29:33,596 Beau! 456 00:29:33,705 --> 00:29:35,570 And why do you keep bustin' on him, like that? 457 00:29:35,673 --> 00:29:37,140 He's like perfect! 458 00:29:37,242 --> 00:29:38,402 Perfectly boring! 459 00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:40,375 YIPPEE! 460 00:29:40,478 --> 00:29:43,845 I got a response, I got a response. 461 00:29:43,948 --> 00:29:47,008 Okay, the internet IS the way to hook up! 462 00:29:47,118 --> 00:29:50,679 He's a little young for me, but... 463 00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:55,317 He loves Liza with a Z, and role playing, 464 00:29:55,426 --> 00:29:57,451 and investment banking. 465 00:29:57,562 --> 00:29:58,756 Ka-ching. 466 00:30:02,901 --> 00:30:04,562 Damn! 467 00:30:04,669 --> 00:30:06,637 That's almost as big as Griff's. 468 00:30:10,275 --> 00:30:11,299 You okay? 469 00:30:12,277 --> 00:30:14,177 I've got a headache. 470 00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:17,339 There's aspirin in my Dad's... medicine cabinet. 471 00:30:22,253 --> 00:30:23,379 Where's the soap? 472 00:30:31,696 --> 00:30:32,458 Score. 473 00:31:10,635 --> 00:31:11,602 Yes! 474 00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:12,761 I'm growing! 475 00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:24,112 It's stuck! 476 00:31:47,171 --> 00:31:48,001 What the...? 477 00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:50,573 Son! What is going on? 478 00:31:53,311 --> 00:31:54,300 Help! 479 00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:55,879 Get it off me! 480 00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:57,504 Okay, don't panic. 481 00:31:57,615 --> 00:31:59,014 We can do this together, okay. 482 00:31:59,117 --> 00:32:03,281 I'm gonna brace, and you brace, and you PULL! 483 00:32:03,388 --> 00:32:05,549 FUCK! 484 00:32:05,657 --> 00:32:07,181 Awwwwwwww! 485 00:32:07,292 --> 00:32:09,021 Okay, I have another idea. 486 00:32:09,127 --> 00:32:11,561 Now, hold on there - and I'm gonna smash this bugger! 487 00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:15,190 Fire in the hole! 488 00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:16,858 FIRE! 489 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:20,928 Aaaaah! 490 00:32:25,109 --> 00:32:26,736 Aaaaaaahhh! 491 00:32:28,846 --> 00:32:32,338 Aaaaaaaaahhhh! 492 00:32:35,353 --> 00:32:39,915 You know, kids... penis length is nothing to be ashamed about. 493 00:32:40,024 --> 00:32:40,820 Dad. 494 00:32:42,327 --> 00:32:45,353 I frequently measured my own penis when I was your age. 495 00:32:45,463 --> 00:32:47,260 Matter of fact, I still do. 496 00:32:47,365 --> 00:32:50,857 But no matter where I place that ruler, 497 00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:53,733 darned if I can break five inches. 498 00:32:53,838 --> 00:32:58,537 So, Jarod. I know what it's like to feel insecure... 499 00:32:58,643 --> 00:33:00,611 about your manhood. 500 00:33:01,879 --> 00:33:04,404 Well, it all started back in my Navy days... 501 00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:07,075 you know, showering with my fellow seamen. 502 00:33:07,185 --> 00:33:08,413 Oh my God. 503 00:33:08,519 --> 00:33:13,320 Yes, siree... oh boy, we spent a lot of time in the showers. 504 00:33:13,424 --> 00:33:14,755 There was this one sailor... 505 00:33:14,859 --> 00:33:18,317 Zeke McGee was his name, gosh darned if Zeke's "snake"... 506 00:33:18,429 --> 00:33:21,091 didn't hang down past his knees. 507 00:33:21,199 --> 00:33:24,498 And if I close my eyes and think about it... 508 00:33:24,602 --> 00:33:28,129 I can SMELL it, like it was yesterday. 509 00:33:28,239 --> 00:33:32,733 Do you still keep in touch with Big Zeke? 510 00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,106 Now that you mention it... 511 00:33:34,212 --> 00:33:36,874 Dad! Thank you for rescuing Jarod. 512 00:33:36,981 --> 00:33:38,972 Now will you please get out of here. 513 00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:39,913 Certainly. 514 00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:41,110 But before I go, I just want to say... 515 00:33:41,219 --> 00:33:43,847 that I really enjoyed our little chat. 516 00:33:46,257 --> 00:33:47,554 Oh my goodness. 517 00:33:53,264 --> 00:33:55,289 Step, step, PUNCH! 518 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,027 Step, step. 519 00:33:57,135 --> 00:33:59,797 Bounce... bounce bounce! 520 00:33:59,904 --> 00:34:01,565 Step, step, PUNCH! 521 00:34:01,672 --> 00:34:03,401 Step, step, PUNCH! 522 00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:04,941 Sweat! 523 00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,977 Bounce, bounce. 524 00:34:09,514 --> 00:34:11,277 Step, step, PUNCH! 525 00:34:11,382 --> 00:34:13,077 Down! 526 00:34:13,184 --> 00:34:14,947 Bounce, bounce. 527 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:16,418 Step, PUNCH! 528 00:34:20,758 --> 00:34:21,918 Arch your backs. 529 00:34:24,629 --> 00:34:25,596 Alright, alright. 530 00:34:25,696 --> 00:34:27,186 Take five, take five, booty break. 531 00:34:29,167 --> 00:34:30,759 My God... she's is such a slavedriver! 532 00:34:30,868 --> 00:34:32,631 I know, my ass has NEVER been tighter. 533 00:34:40,878 --> 00:34:42,140 Yo, yo. 534 00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:44,214 What's wrong, dawg? 535 00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:47,648 I need more maximus in my gluteus. 536 00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:50,118 You lookin' fine to me, Papi. 537 00:34:54,258 --> 00:34:55,156 Whassup? 538 00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:56,226 Angel. 539 00:34:57,662 --> 00:34:59,323 Pleasure to meet you. I'm Griff. 540 00:35:03,901 --> 00:35:05,732 You want a homey to notice your ass? 541 00:35:08,439 --> 00:35:10,407 You gotta work it on OUT. 542 00:35:10,508 --> 00:35:13,739 Yo DJ, pump up the volume! 543 00:35:39,871 --> 00:35:41,168 You know what you got, dawg? 544 00:36:00,391 --> 00:36:01,449 Like what you see, Papi? 545 00:36:02,226 --> 00:36:03,124 Indeed. 546 00:36:10,134 --> 00:36:11,362 I dance at Bodangles. 547 00:36:12,737 --> 00:36:14,295 You want a private lesson... 548 00:36:15,306 --> 00:36:16,102 Holla. 549 00:36:37,328 --> 00:36:38,124 Right on! 550 00:36:44,969 --> 00:36:45,901 Shit! 551 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,835 Maybe this isn't my sport. 552 00:36:51,943 --> 00:36:53,376 You just need few pointers. 553 00:36:53,477 --> 00:36:55,104 Here, stand behind me. 554 00:37:00,318 --> 00:37:03,344 Now feel how I grip my stick. 555 00:37:07,391 --> 00:37:09,359 I could teach you a thing or two. 556 00:37:09,460 --> 00:37:10,859 Mmm-hmmm. 557 00:39:03,741 --> 00:39:05,174 Big time CUM WHORE! 558 00:39:05,643 --> 00:39:06,940 They're all gonna laugh at you! 559 00:39:07,745 --> 00:39:09,406 They're all gonna laugh at you! 560 00:39:32,069 --> 00:39:34,594 White party, black party, red party, 561 00:39:34,705 --> 00:39:37,640 geez, it all sounds so sophisticated! 562 00:39:37,742 --> 00:39:40,142 Yeah, I got so high at the last Blue Ball. 563 00:39:40,244 --> 00:39:42,337 that I woke up with a glow stick up my ass. 564 00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:45,410 It was blue. 565 00:39:46,250 --> 00:39:49,117 Ya know, we get you outta those clothes and into the gym, 566 00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:50,744 you'll be ready to party! 567 00:39:50,855 --> 00:39:53,449 My friends call me "K," by the way. 568 00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:54,888 Cool. 569 00:39:54,992 --> 00:39:56,289 Is that short for something? 570 00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:57,793 Yeah, K-hole. 571 00:39:57,895 --> 00:39:59,726 But I'm all past that now. 572 00:39:59,830 --> 00:40:01,491 That's probably for the best. 573 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,764 Yeah, these days it's all about the "G." 574 00:40:04,869 --> 00:40:06,200 I beg your pardon? 575 00:40:06,303 --> 00:40:07,861 GHB, girlfriend! 576 00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:11,272 Whew! 577 00:40:11,375 --> 00:40:12,307 You know what? 578 00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:14,378 I am an expert at dosing right up to the limit. 579 00:40:14,478 --> 00:40:16,446 Whaddaya know, there's a Charles Nelson Reilly... 580 00:40:16,547 --> 00:40:18,674 marathon on the Game Show Network! 581 00:40:18,783 --> 00:40:21,149 Man, I am WICKED horny! 582 00:41:15,339 --> 00:41:16,169 Are you okay? 583 00:41:19,343 --> 00:41:20,332 Oh my God! 584 00:41:24,348 --> 00:41:26,543 One, two, three, four. 585 00:41:27,585 --> 00:41:29,212 It's not working - it's not working. 586 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,480 DO something. 587 00:41:33,123 --> 00:41:35,091 What are you DOING? 588 00:41:35,192 --> 00:41:37,023 Give me some of that. I mean, let me try. 589 00:41:38,362 --> 00:41:39,454 We're not going to lose another one. 590 00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:40,587 His belt's too tight. 591 00:41:40,698 --> 00:41:41,824 He's not breathing, he's not breathing. 592 00:41:41,932 --> 00:41:42,864 Get some air in there! 593 00:41:42,967 --> 00:41:44,400 Oh, good Lord - it's time for defrib. 594 00:41:44,502 --> 00:41:45,526 Lube, lube. 595 00:41:45,636 --> 00:41:46,864 Plan B - LUBE. 596 00:41:50,474 --> 00:41:52,704 Three, two, one - CLEAR! 597 00:41:53,944 --> 00:41:56,071 Three, two, one - CLEAR! 598 00:41:57,014 --> 00:41:59,039 Three, two, one - CLEAR! 599 00:41:59,850 --> 00:42:00,748 Muthafucker! 600 00:42:01,252 --> 00:42:02,742 Holy shit, it worked. 601 00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:24,871 Mom? 602 00:42:26,243 --> 00:42:26,732 Dad? 603 00:42:28,245 --> 00:42:29,507 Anyone home? 604 00:43:41,752 --> 00:43:42,912 Hey, little guy. 605 00:44:17,688 --> 00:44:18,655 Son! 606 00:44:18,756 --> 00:44:20,348 It's not what it looks like! 607 00:44:20,457 --> 00:44:21,446 Andy?! 608 00:44:22,159 --> 00:44:25,060 - Ooohh! - Ahhhhh! 609 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:27,058 Don't overreact. I'm sure there's an explanation. 610 00:44:29,266 --> 00:44:30,528 Oh my GOD! 611 00:44:33,837 --> 00:44:35,862 Mommie, I'm so sorry! 612 00:44:35,973 --> 00:44:39,636 I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the CRUMBS! 613 00:44:39,743 --> 00:44:42,940 This is not good, it's not CLEAN! 614 00:45:06,937 --> 00:45:07,460 Mom? 615 00:45:11,442 --> 00:45:12,636 I didn't hear you. 616 00:45:15,679 --> 00:45:16,805 You didn't come home. 617 00:45:19,850 --> 00:45:21,112 What's going on? 618 00:45:24,388 --> 00:45:25,548 I think... 619 00:45:29,259 --> 00:45:30,783 I like guys. 620 00:45:39,369 --> 00:45:40,563 DUH! 621 00:45:42,773 --> 00:45:44,604 What took you so long? 622 00:45:50,180 --> 00:45:53,411 I was sure you led an "alternative lifestyle"... 623 00:45:53,517 --> 00:45:55,985 the first time you did Madonna. 624 00:45:56,086 --> 00:45:58,748 I mean, cripe, how many three year-olds can say... 625 00:45:58,856 --> 00:46:02,519 they've performed her entire "Blonde Ambition" concert? 626 00:46:02,626 --> 00:46:04,617 Oh, "Strike a pose!" 627 00:46:06,096 --> 00:46:07,154 Remember? 628 00:46:08,632 --> 00:46:12,864 Gotta admit though, I did start to suspect a lot earlier. 629 00:46:12,970 --> 00:46:17,907 Oh, see how you already had that little "swish" in your step? 630 00:46:18,842 --> 00:46:22,608 Oh yeah, you were always Mommie's "special boy". 631 00:46:23,747 --> 00:46:25,840 There you are at your first rock concert. 632 00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:30,550 Carol Channing was on fire that night! 633 00:46:30,654 --> 00:46:33,680 Oh, and that's the time you dressed up like Karen Black... 634 00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:36,783 in Airport '75 when we flew to Florida. 635 00:46:37,694 --> 00:46:40,060 "There's nobody flying the plane!" 636 00:46:40,164 --> 00:46:41,927 Okay, okay! I get it! 637 00:47:09,293 --> 00:47:11,523 Come on, get in! 638 00:47:12,563 --> 00:47:13,655 GET WET! 639 00:47:14,965 --> 00:47:16,557 I'm getting a start on my summer reading. 640 00:47:17,968 --> 00:47:19,094 Hey, cut it out! 641 00:47:30,180 --> 00:47:31,442 No, Jarod! 642 00:47:31,548 --> 00:47:32,708 No! 643 00:47:32,816 --> 00:47:34,943 You know I pinned you yesterday. 644 00:47:35,052 --> 00:47:35,882 No! 645 00:48:04,314 --> 00:48:06,214 Wo-ow. 646 00:48:07,217 --> 00:48:08,445 Look at those. 647 00:48:09,786 --> 00:48:10,718 What? 648 00:48:10,821 --> 00:48:12,083 Oh my God. 649 00:48:20,197 --> 00:48:21,562 I think I'm gonna fuck Beau. 650 00:48:23,734 --> 00:48:25,099 That's excellent. 651 00:48:25,202 --> 00:48:26,100 Yeah. 652 00:48:27,471 --> 00:48:29,063 We've been gettin' really close. 653 00:48:30,307 --> 00:48:33,140 Almost did it the other day, but... I stopped. 654 00:48:34,845 --> 00:48:35,709 How come? 655 00:48:36,713 --> 00:48:37,737 I don't know. 656 00:48:39,149 --> 00:48:40,309 I'm scared, Griff. 657 00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:43,143 What if I'm not ready? 658 00:48:46,390 --> 00:48:50,451 Well, the way I see it... if you really like him, 659 00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:55,395 and you trust him... then I say, go for it. 660 00:48:58,335 --> 00:49:00,997 No one understands me like you do, Griffin. 661 00:49:01,104 --> 00:49:02,969 You're the best. 662 00:49:05,642 --> 00:49:06,734 Yeah. 663 00:49:16,086 --> 00:49:17,075 Oh, yeah. 664 00:49:17,187 --> 00:49:18,085 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 665 00:49:26,029 --> 00:49:27,018 Totally! 666 00:49:45,949 --> 00:49:47,177 BDSM? 667 00:49:50,921 --> 00:49:53,321 Of course. 668 00:50:09,306 --> 00:50:10,273 Oh yeah! 669 00:50:12,209 --> 00:50:17,340 Um... delicious. 670 00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:23,919 Oh yeah! 671 00:50:42,906 --> 00:50:44,635 What is the emergency? 672 00:50:44,741 --> 00:50:46,333 Griff finally tapped into the security system... 673 00:50:46,443 --> 00:50:47,933 in the locker room. 674 00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:50,570 Straight boy's about to get naked. 675 00:50:51,782 --> 00:50:52,908 Get the fuck out of here, man. 676 00:50:54,851 --> 00:50:56,546 Place your bets, Gentleman. 677 00:50:56,653 --> 00:50:58,211 Ten bucks he's a show-er! 678 00:50:59,990 --> 00:51:02,049 Baby's got BACK! 679 00:51:02,159 --> 00:51:03,251 Dude, turn around. 680 00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:04,384 Deliver the package! 681 00:51:06,096 --> 00:51:07,654 You guys are ill, you know that? 682 00:51:07,764 --> 00:51:08,856 How so? 683 00:51:08,965 --> 00:51:11,900 Look at yourselves, lusting after the straight guy... 684 00:51:12,002 --> 00:51:13,970 you can never have. 685 00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:15,333 Aren't we beyond that? 686 00:51:15,439 --> 00:51:16,929 It's so '90's. 687 00:51:18,508 --> 00:51:19,406 He dropped the soap! 688 00:51:21,678 --> 00:51:22,940 This is so wrong. 689 00:51:25,682 --> 00:51:26,671 We have bush. 690 00:51:27,150 --> 00:51:29,243 Repeat, we have bush. 691 00:51:31,721 --> 00:51:32,745 Oh... my. 692 00:51:34,558 --> 00:51:36,458 Can you zoom in on that? 693 00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:38,084 Yes, indeed. 694 00:51:41,531 --> 00:51:43,328 Our boy's a show-er! 695 00:51:43,433 --> 00:51:45,958 Is he doing what I think he's doing? 696 00:51:48,071 --> 00:51:50,437 He's fingering himself! 697 00:51:53,310 --> 00:51:56,211 He is a show-er AND a grower. 698 00:51:56,313 --> 00:51:58,781 Abercrombie & BITCH! 699 00:51:58,882 --> 00:52:01,282 Where the heck is Andy?! 700 00:52:12,329 --> 00:52:13,261 Andy? 701 00:52:13,363 --> 00:52:14,762 Can I still come in? 702 00:52:16,333 --> 00:52:17,231 Rodzilla? 703 00:52:22,639 --> 00:52:23,731 Oh, what the hell. 704 00:52:30,947 --> 00:52:34,542 So, I take it you have utmost experience? 705 00:52:34,651 --> 00:52:36,346 In "the scene?" 706 00:52:36,453 --> 00:52:37,784 Oh yeah. 707 00:52:37,888 --> 00:52:39,651 I'm an old pro. 708 00:52:42,058 --> 00:52:43,218 Cool hammock. 709 00:52:43,326 --> 00:52:45,556 Right. 710 00:52:49,232 --> 00:52:51,666 I use bicycle horn instead of the safety-words. 711 00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:58,198 Excuse me while I go to slip into something more comFORTable. 712 00:52:58,308 --> 00:52:59,275 Right on! 713 00:53:01,645 --> 00:53:03,738 What are you wearing? 714 00:53:03,847 --> 00:53:07,681 You mentioned water sports... in case we wanted to take a dip. 715 00:53:09,452 --> 00:53:11,920 Marco... polo. 716 00:53:38,014 --> 00:53:38,708 C'mon! 717 00:53:38,815 --> 00:53:40,874 Go back to lick-my-hairy-cherry.com! 718 00:53:40,984 --> 00:53:42,178 Holy shit. 719 00:53:47,424 --> 00:53:48,982 What the fuck?! 720 00:53:55,432 --> 00:53:57,730 There's a website where you can tell the master... 721 00:53:57,834 --> 00:53:59,358 what you want to do to the slave... 722 00:53:59,469 --> 00:54:04,099 Go to rodzillas-interactive-dungeon.org. 723 00:54:04,207 --> 00:54:05,435 We're busy, Muff-ster. 724 00:54:05,542 --> 00:54:07,476 Yeah, sorry to break up your little circle-jerk, 725 00:54:07,577 --> 00:54:09,477 but that's an ORDER! 726 00:54:13,950 --> 00:54:15,884 Hey, put that back! 727 00:54:18,321 --> 00:54:21,984 Oh... my... God. 728 00:54:46,983 --> 00:54:48,473 Rodzilla! 729 00:54:57,260 --> 00:54:58,693 Mr. Puckov! 730 00:54:59,696 --> 00:55:01,561 This is for my Muslim comrades. 731 00:55:01,665 --> 00:55:03,155 Imperialist American SVINE! 732 00:55:03,266 --> 00:55:04,324 Ah, NO! 733 00:55:07,437 --> 00:55:10,600 Your "ugly American" scene is driving me insane. 734 00:55:10,707 --> 00:55:13,835 Have another cheeseburger, capitalist animal! 735 00:55:13,943 --> 00:55:15,501 OUCH! 736 00:55:15,612 --> 00:55:17,170 Oh my goodness. 737 00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:18,679 This is for Kathie Lee. 738 00:55:18,782 --> 00:55:20,374 Kelly Ripa, she sucks! 739 00:55:20,483 --> 00:55:24,544 Oh, go on, type something in! 740 00:55:27,357 --> 00:55:30,383 Teach him a lesson! 741 00:55:31,728 --> 00:55:33,423 Okay, I'm serious, that's enough. 742 00:55:35,131 --> 00:55:36,792 Could we just talk this out? 743 00:55:37,967 --> 00:55:39,491 Look, he hears us! 744 00:55:43,206 --> 00:55:44,639 Ahhhh! 745 00:55:44,741 --> 00:55:47,539 Supersize THIS, mother-fucker! 746 00:55:48,278 --> 00:55:51,611 No. No. No. No. No... 747 00:55:51,715 --> 00:55:55,845 Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. 748 00:55:55,952 --> 00:56:03,882 Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. YES. 749 00:56:03,993 --> 00:56:05,551 Holy shit! 750 00:56:05,662 --> 00:56:08,324 FIST HIS ASS! 751 00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:11,493 What's with the Cwisco? 752 00:56:15,338 --> 00:56:16,965 This might take the edge off. 753 00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:24,444 Ewwww! 754 00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:33,453 Okay, Mr. Puckov? 755 00:56:33,556 --> 00:56:35,387 You like my table? 756 00:56:35,492 --> 00:56:38,017 My GLASS table? 757 00:56:42,599 --> 00:56:43,964 What's he doing? 758 00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:51,768 This one's out of my jurisdiction, kid. 759 00:56:55,044 --> 00:56:56,534 Am I supposed to do something? 760 00:56:58,281 --> 00:57:00,442 Ooooo, I love how you play so dumb. 761 00:57:01,084 --> 00:57:04,485 Just close your eyes, relax, and enjoy... 762 00:57:09,459 --> 00:57:15,295 Rodzilla loves Belgian chocolate... 763 00:57:35,952 --> 00:57:36,884 You know? 764 00:57:36,986 --> 00:57:40,251 Maybe this sex thing is just not all it's cracked up to be. 765 00:57:41,057 --> 00:57:44,049 Maybe I should just hang it up and become a Priest. 766 00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:46,856 Then you could finally get laid, Sister Mary. 767 00:57:50,667 --> 00:57:54,433 Look, love is a battlefield, kid. 768 00:57:55,038 --> 00:57:59,372 If at first we don't succeed, you just try again. 769 00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:01,444 Yeah, but we're running out of time. 770 00:58:01,544 --> 00:58:02,943 Summer's almost over! 771 00:58:03,046 --> 00:58:07,107 OK, who has a hot prospect for the weekend? 772 00:58:08,785 --> 00:58:09,979 I do! 773 00:58:12,655 --> 00:58:13,314 Okay. 774 00:58:13,790 --> 00:58:18,989 International gay superstar Richard Hatch... 775 00:58:19,095 --> 00:58:21,586 is coming to town to sign his new book. 776 00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:25,190 So, I figured I'd go for it, cause God knows... 777 00:58:25,301 --> 00:58:28,464 no one else around here appreciates me. 778 00:58:28,571 --> 00:58:29,902 Rock on! 779 00:58:33,343 --> 00:58:34,640 What about you, Griff? 780 00:58:34,744 --> 00:58:36,336 Nada. 781 00:58:36,446 --> 00:58:38,539 Maybe the two of us can check Bodangles. 782 00:58:38,648 --> 00:58:39,945 Yeah, sure. 783 00:58:40,049 --> 00:58:40,640 Cool. 784 00:58:42,252 --> 00:58:43,947 Hey kids, how's it hangin'? 785 00:58:45,855 --> 00:58:47,322 Dad, what are you wearing? 786 00:58:47,790 --> 00:58:50,816 Oh yeah, the old man's "got it goin' on!" 787 00:58:50,927 --> 00:58:52,019 See ya at sea. 788 00:59:15,184 --> 00:59:16,481 Oh my goodness. 789 00:59:22,592 --> 00:59:25,356 It is such an honor to meet you... 790 00:59:27,764 --> 00:59:29,561 without digital censorship. 791 00:59:32,702 --> 00:59:34,226 And who should I make this out to? 792 00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:41,736 Mr. Ben Dover. 793 00:59:43,279 --> 00:59:44,644 Oh you beast. 794 01:00:28,958 --> 01:00:29,947 Hello. 795 01:00:30,059 --> 01:00:30,718 Hi. 796 01:00:35,999 --> 01:00:36,966 Nice ass, man. 797 01:00:38,001 --> 01:00:38,797 How are ya? 798 01:00:50,213 --> 01:00:50,907 Hey. 799 01:00:53,783 --> 01:00:54,807 Good day, gents. 800 01:00:58,888 --> 01:01:01,755 Damn, I'd tap that ass. It's so tight. 801 01:01:18,975 --> 01:01:20,169 Hi. 802 01:01:20,276 --> 01:01:21,766 Hey, Griff. 803 01:01:21,878 --> 01:01:23,812 Griff, hey. 804 01:01:23,913 --> 01:01:25,380 Jarod's has mentioned you. 805 01:01:25,481 --> 01:01:27,415 Cool. 806 01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:29,678 May I speak to you for a minute? 807 01:01:29,786 --> 01:01:31,014 Sure thing. 808 01:01:34,223 --> 01:01:35,656 Alone. 809 01:01:38,528 --> 01:01:39,495 Be right back. 810 01:01:47,437 --> 01:01:49,132 What's goin' on? 811 01:01:49,238 --> 01:01:50,830 I thought it was going to be just you and me. 812 01:01:53,009 --> 01:01:54,442 Is there a problem? 813 01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:55,875 Summer's almost over, J. 814 01:01:58,081 --> 01:01:59,571 Once we go off to college... 815 01:02:02,585 --> 01:02:03,574 Wait. 816 01:02:04,053 --> 01:02:05,680 Are you jealous? 817 01:02:08,024 --> 01:02:08,991 Fuck off. 818 01:02:14,630 --> 01:02:15,562 Everything okay? 819 01:02:20,269 --> 01:02:21,065 Yeah. 820 01:02:22,071 --> 01:02:22,935 Forget it. 821 01:02:26,642 --> 01:02:27,370 Griff. 822 01:02:29,679 --> 01:02:30,976 Rainbow Video, Andy speaking. 823 01:02:31,647 --> 01:02:35,105 You are not gonna believe who is in my room right now. 824 01:02:35,218 --> 01:02:36,207 Who? 825 01:02:36,319 --> 01:02:37,786 Richard Hatch! 826 01:02:37,887 --> 01:02:39,377 And I think he wants to fuck me. 827 01:02:40,189 --> 01:02:44,057 I'm about to get anal from a million dollar bear! 828 01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:46,720 Are you like... prepared? 829 01:02:46,829 --> 01:02:47,727 Oh yeah. 830 01:02:49,232 --> 01:02:50,859 I'm all set. 831 01:02:50,967 --> 01:02:52,457 Gotta run, kid. 832 01:02:52,568 --> 01:02:54,433 Boy Nico is about to become a man. 833 01:03:03,813 --> 01:03:05,246 Better safe than sorry. 834 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:37,374 Woe. 835 01:03:59,368 --> 01:04:00,198 Woof. 836 01:04:07,343 --> 01:04:08,207 That's hot. 837 01:04:16,219 --> 01:04:18,016 Daddy likes it. 838 01:04:41,010 --> 01:04:42,875 I forgot my car keys. 839 01:04:46,782 --> 01:04:48,272 Oh, no, no, no, no! I just... 840 01:04:48,384 --> 01:04:50,079 What's this? 841 01:04:50,186 --> 01:04:52,086 It's a plantain. 842 01:04:53,589 --> 01:04:58,288 Okay, doll, love you, call you, drive safe! 843 01:05:00,429 --> 01:05:01,794 Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. 844 01:05:18,681 --> 01:05:19,773 Are you alright? 845 01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:22,114 I'm fine. 846 01:05:28,391 --> 01:05:30,985 Can you excuse me for one moment? 847 01:06:10,533 --> 01:06:11,557 Mmmm, yeah. 848 01:06:14,370 --> 01:06:15,394 How old are you? 849 01:06:17,740 --> 01:06:18,934 Seventeen. 850 01:06:20,843 --> 01:06:22,105 Sorry, kid. 851 01:06:22,211 --> 01:06:24,679 WAY past your prime. 852 01:06:43,599 --> 01:06:45,931 Hey Mr. DJ, gimme a BEAT! 853 01:07:12,528 --> 01:07:13,790 Whoa! 854 01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:27,307 Damn boy, you workin' that shit OUT! 855 01:07:37,286 --> 01:07:38,776 Taught him everything he know, yo! 856 01:07:45,561 --> 01:07:49,156 Bubble-butt, bubble-butt, bubble-butt, bubble-butt! 857 01:07:49,265 --> 01:07:53,201 Bubble-butt, bubble-butt, bubble-butt, bubble-butt! 858 01:07:53,302 --> 01:07:57,136 Bubble-butt, bubble-butt, bubble-butt, bubble-butt! 859 01:07:57,240 --> 01:08:00,971 Bubble-butt, bubble-butt, bubble-butt, bubble-butt! 860 01:08:31,641 --> 01:08:32,733 They're all gonna laugh at you! 861 01:08:33,409 --> 01:08:34,569 They're all gonna laugh at you! 862 01:08:45,721 --> 01:08:49,054 - Rainbow Vid... - I'm about to explode! 863 01:08:49,158 --> 01:08:50,887 Did you take the enema? 864 01:08:50,993 --> 01:08:54,190 Yeah, three of them. 865 01:08:54,297 --> 01:08:55,696 Oh my God! 866 01:09:19,422 --> 01:09:20,286 Fuck this shit. 867 01:09:22,925 --> 01:09:25,155 Hey, Andy. Who's calling? 868 01:09:25,261 --> 01:09:26,057 Ahhh... it's a wrong number. 869 01:09:32,301 --> 01:09:33,461 Oh my goodness. 870 01:09:39,876 --> 01:09:40,900 Richard? 871 01:09:57,059 --> 01:09:59,289 Your ass tastes so good. 872 01:10:07,770 --> 01:10:09,704 Looks like Little Jarod likes it too. 873 01:10:10,373 --> 01:10:11,931 Little... Jarod? 874 01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:21,376 I've waited forever. 875 01:10:26,956 --> 01:10:28,446 Dammit! I fuckin' suck! 876 01:10:31,494 --> 01:10:33,121 It's okay. 877 01:10:33,229 --> 01:10:34,389 I'll get him back up again. 878 01:10:38,501 --> 01:10:41,231 I'm sorry, it's not you. 879 01:10:42,505 --> 01:10:43,403 But... 880 01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:49,541 Can we try another time? 881 01:10:53,716 --> 01:10:56,617 Please... please, stop! 882 01:11:01,457 --> 01:11:02,481 Just take me home? 883 01:11:07,430 --> 01:11:08,124 Fine. 884 01:11:39,228 --> 01:11:39,785 Jesus! 885 01:12:18,300 --> 01:12:19,164 My eye! 886 01:12:23,139 --> 01:12:23,867 Dad? 887 01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:42,187 - Dad? - Yep? 888 01:12:42,291 --> 01:12:44,088 Can I ask you a question? 889 01:12:44,193 --> 01:12:45,956 Certainly, son. 890 01:12:46,062 --> 01:12:50,522 How did you know when you were ready to have sex? 891 01:12:50,633 --> 01:12:51,463 Oh. 892 01:12:52,601 --> 01:12:55,434 Uh, well... 893 01:12:55,538 --> 01:12:58,336 Unfortunately, my Uncle Earl made that decision FOR me. 894 01:12:59,942 --> 01:13:03,036 But only you can make that decision, Andy. 895 01:13:03,145 --> 01:13:04,442 Do you think you're ready? 896 01:13:05,548 --> 01:13:06,173 Yeah. 897 01:13:06,282 --> 01:13:08,307 I mean, a big part of me does. 898 01:13:08,417 --> 01:13:11,978 But, I'm petrified from the neck up. 899 01:13:13,522 --> 01:13:14,819 Sounds like you have your answer. 900 01:13:16,225 --> 01:13:16,850 Yeah? 901 01:13:16,959 --> 01:13:17,857 Yeah, yeah. 902 01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:18,949 Yeah. 903 01:13:20,663 --> 01:13:24,360 I think I should hold on to my cherry for awhile. 904 01:13:25,301 --> 01:13:26,165 Good boy. 905 01:13:27,503 --> 01:13:32,839 Um, ah... I have something to tell you. 906 01:13:34,510 --> 01:13:35,670 Okay. 907 01:13:37,880 --> 01:13:39,245 Daddy's a bi-sexshul. 908 01:13:40,349 --> 01:13:41,475 And it's all because of you. 909 01:13:43,552 --> 01:13:44,678 Gee, thanks, Dad. 910 01:13:44,787 --> 01:13:50,453 No, what I mean is... you gave me the courage to be "me." 911 01:13:51,627 --> 01:13:55,461 But, now Andy, I think you're not gonna love me anymore. 912 01:13:55,564 --> 01:13:56,121 Dad... 913 01:13:56,232 --> 01:13:57,164 Well, that's what I think. 914 01:13:57,933 --> 01:13:59,230 I'm afraid. 915 01:13:59,335 --> 01:14:00,768 Oh, Dad, Dad, Dad. 916 01:14:00,870 --> 01:14:02,428 Hey, hey, hey. 917 01:14:02,538 --> 01:14:03,698 You're still the same person. 918 01:14:03,806 --> 01:14:04,431 I'm still... 919 01:14:04,540 --> 01:14:05,234 You're still the same person... 920 01:14:05,341 --> 01:14:06,000 Still the same? 921 01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:06,836 And I will always love you. 922 01:14:06,942 --> 01:14:07,636 Always? 923 01:14:07,743 --> 01:14:08,767 - I will always... - You, alw... 924 01:14:08,878 --> 01:14:10,004 - I will always... - Alw... 925 01:14:10,112 --> 01:14:11,443 - I will always... - Al... 926 01:14:11,547 --> 01:14:12,605 - I will always... - Al... 927 01:14:12,715 --> 01:14:14,649 I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! Dad! 928 01:14:14,750 --> 01:14:15,717 You will always love ME? 929 01:14:17,586 --> 01:14:19,577 Oh, Andy. 930 01:14:23,492 --> 01:14:24,686 I will always love you. 931 01:14:24,794 --> 01:14:26,261 Now, stop. 932 01:14:28,998 --> 01:14:30,158 I gotta go, kid. 933 01:14:53,789 --> 01:14:56,087 I cannot believe I almost sucked my Dad's dick. 934 01:14:57,693 --> 01:15:00,127 Desperate times call for desperate measures, kid. 935 01:15:01,397 --> 01:15:02,728 Maybe you should've done him. 936 01:15:04,633 --> 01:15:08,399 I cannot believe a Survivor Winner heard me take a dump. 937 01:15:09,305 --> 01:15:11,671 Suck it up, Girls. 938 01:15:11,774 --> 01:15:14,402 Looks like my Labor Day soir�e is gonna be... 939 01:15:14,510 --> 01:15:17,877 your last chance to snag a slice of the butt-pie. 940 01:15:18,647 --> 01:15:22,139 Sex, sex, sex, that's all we're ever talking about! 941 01:15:22,251 --> 01:15:23,616 What's so good about it anyway? 942 01:15:23,719 --> 01:15:25,584 I've had much more luck with my right hand 943 01:15:25,688 --> 01:15:27,280 and my left index finger. 944 01:15:29,525 --> 01:15:32,323 I can't believe you wanna screw that sketchy go-go boy. 945 01:15:32,428 --> 01:15:34,419 At least he's not a brain-dead jock. 946 01:15:34,530 --> 01:15:37,055 Sorry we can't all be studs like you! 947 01:15:37,166 --> 01:15:38,292 Guess what? 948 01:15:40,769 --> 01:15:42,396 Tyler was the first guy I've ever been with. 949 01:15:44,707 --> 01:15:46,072 I was so nervous I couldn't even get it up. 950 01:15:46,175 --> 01:15:50,475 Now Beau wants me to top him at the party and I'm scared to death. 951 01:15:53,349 --> 01:15:54,475 Some STUD, huh? 952 01:15:56,719 --> 01:15:58,778 Well, aren't we getting testy? 953 01:16:00,656 --> 01:16:05,719 Hey, hey, who told you guys this was gonna be easy? 954 01:16:05,828 --> 01:16:07,921 Sex can be messy, kids. 955 01:16:08,030 --> 01:16:11,124 Full of penis drippings, and ill-timed queafage... 956 01:16:11,233 --> 01:16:13,701 and thirty-one flavors of genital cheese. 957 01:16:13,802 --> 01:16:15,565 What the FUUUUUCK! 958 01:16:18,741 --> 01:16:21,141 He heard me take a fart, Dawn. 959 01:16:22,478 --> 01:16:24,309 Okay, fine. 960 01:16:26,382 --> 01:16:28,145 You still don't get it, do you? 961 01:16:29,652 --> 01:16:31,517 Even after all you've been through. 962 01:16:33,122 --> 01:16:37,957 I was a stud long before I ever licked a pussy. 963 01:16:38,060 --> 01:16:40,290 Oh, great, a bull dyke's gonna instruct us... 964 01:16:40,396 --> 01:16:41,829 on the art of being men! 965 01:16:41,931 --> 01:16:43,990 Damn right, bitch! 966 01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:51,002 When you boys learn that having sex doesn't make you a man... 967 01:16:53,642 --> 01:16:58,204 maybe you'll finally pull your pricks outta your poopshoots. 968 01:17:01,984 --> 01:17:03,679 Crimony, kids. 969 01:17:03,786 --> 01:17:06,516 I sure do hope you get some ass-play. 970 01:17:26,809 --> 01:17:27,741 You're sure, right? 971 01:17:29,278 --> 01:17:30,040 Yeah. 972 01:17:31,380 --> 01:17:32,472 I want you to top me. 973 01:17:33,582 --> 01:17:35,743 You guys are gonna BUTT-FUCK, aren't you? 974 01:17:35,851 --> 01:17:37,045 Butt-fuckers! 975 01:17:37,152 --> 01:17:38,176 Butt-fuckers! 976 01:17:38,287 --> 01:17:39,686 Butt-fuckers! 977 01:17:40,823 --> 01:17:43,758 Mini-Muff, get the fuck out of here! 978 01:17:43,859 --> 01:17:46,293 C'mon, I wanna watch! 979 01:17:46,395 --> 01:17:48,192 NOW, Mini! 980 01:17:48,297 --> 01:17:49,127 Awww, man. 981 01:17:52,234 --> 01:17:53,496 I may need this. 982 01:17:53,602 --> 01:17:55,160 Dude, don't be a dick-burglar. 983 01:18:17,326 --> 01:18:19,351 I'm glad you called me back, Papi. 984 01:18:19,461 --> 01:18:23,056 You know, I likes you just the way you are. 985 01:19:22,524 --> 01:19:25,186 Silver foxy... 986 01:19:27,429 --> 01:19:29,056 You're Muffler's grandfather. 987 01:19:30,332 --> 01:19:32,027 I've been accused of that. 988 01:19:32,134 --> 01:19:34,728 And you are...? 989 01:19:36,171 --> 01:19:37,832 Nico. 990 01:19:37,940 --> 01:19:39,532 I'm Dawn's friend. 991 01:19:41,677 --> 01:19:43,611 Enjoying yourself, Nico? 992 01:19:45,047 --> 01:19:47,242 I'm startin' to feel pretty darn happy. 993 01:19:50,953 --> 01:19:52,147 Is that so? 994 01:19:53,288 --> 01:19:57,782 And where is your date this evening? 995 01:19:58,594 --> 01:20:01,995 You're lookin' at one stag fag, Herr Muffler. 996 01:20:03,866 --> 01:20:05,561 Can I trouble you for a highball? 997 01:20:06,835 --> 01:20:09,167 I've had my fill of this swill. 998 01:20:10,305 --> 01:20:12,796 I'm afraid I'm gonna have to see some proper I.D. 999 01:20:16,211 --> 01:20:18,907 You have any good tequila? 1000 01:20:19,014 --> 01:20:20,447 Anejo? 1001 01:20:23,118 --> 01:20:24,813 Mmmmhmmm. 1002 01:20:25,454 --> 01:20:28,116 Aged eighteen years... 1003 01:20:28,223 --> 01:20:30,851 Just the way Grandpa likes it. 1004 01:20:56,084 --> 01:20:57,016 What is it, Papi? 1005 01:21:06,795 --> 01:21:07,955 You're feelin' your boy, huh? 1006 01:21:09,531 --> 01:21:10,498 I'm sorry, Angel. 1007 01:21:11,099 --> 01:21:12,430 It's all good, kid. No sweat. 1008 01:21:14,269 --> 01:21:14,963 Use what you got. 1009 01:21:16,338 --> 01:21:17,362 And hurry. 1010 01:21:25,981 --> 01:21:27,073 - Wait! - Shit! 1011 01:21:28,083 --> 01:21:29,050 Griff? 1012 01:21:29,151 --> 01:21:31,984 - I need to talk. - I'm kinda busy, dude. 1013 01:21:32,087 --> 01:21:33,145 It's an emergency. 1014 01:21:38,026 --> 01:21:39,755 Can you hold that thought? 1015 01:21:39,861 --> 01:21:41,852 You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. 1016 01:21:50,772 --> 01:21:52,706 This better be fucking good, Griff. 1017 01:21:52,808 --> 01:21:54,708 I had to tell you before it was too late. 1018 01:21:58,413 --> 01:21:59,937 I love you, Jarod. 1019 01:22:03,051 --> 01:22:04,075 I'm in love with you. 1020 01:22:07,956 --> 01:22:08,923 For a long time. 1021 01:22:12,628 --> 01:22:13,595 I don't know what to say. 1022 01:22:14,463 --> 01:22:15,657 You don't have to say anything. 1023 01:22:15,764 --> 01:22:18,392 I just had to let you know. 1024 01:22:23,272 --> 01:22:24,762 We gonna fuck, or what? 1025 01:22:24,873 --> 01:22:26,170 Cause my balls are turning blue. 1026 01:22:29,911 --> 01:22:30,878 I'm sorry, Beau. 1027 01:22:32,281 --> 01:22:33,373 I didn't know... 1028 01:22:35,617 --> 01:22:36,879 I had a boyfriend. 1029 01:23:25,834 --> 01:23:27,859 Yeah... yeah... yeah. 1030 01:23:40,215 --> 01:23:42,547 And how Bette Davis didn't win the Oscar... 1031 01:23:42,651 --> 01:23:46,280 for All About Eve is one of the mortal sins of Hollywood! 1032 01:23:55,697 --> 01:23:58,723 If I told you you are worldly, polished, 1033 01:23:58,834 --> 01:24:04,101 and sophisticated, would you hold it against me? 1034 01:24:04,206 --> 01:24:09,439 My dear young boy, are you trying to seduce me? 1035 01:24:11,279 --> 01:24:13,440 I don't know. 1036 01:24:13,548 --> 01:24:14,572 Am I? 1037 01:24:23,825 --> 01:24:28,694 Fasten your seatbelt, sonny It's going to be a bumpy night. 1038 01:24:39,674 --> 01:24:40,504 So. where's Jarod? 1039 01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:42,771 He dumped me. 1040 01:24:49,050 --> 01:24:49,982 Where's Griff? 1041 01:24:51,286 --> 01:24:53,151 Papi kicked me to the curb, yo. 1042 01:25:06,501 --> 01:25:07,900 Oh, wow. 1043 01:25:08,003 --> 01:25:09,163 Wow. 1044 01:25:09,271 --> 01:25:11,466 Okay! 1045 01:25:11,573 --> 01:25:13,234 Oh, yeah. 1046 01:25:24,519 --> 01:25:28,421 So. um... well. 1047 01:25:36,832 --> 01:25:37,526 Wow. 1048 01:25:40,035 --> 01:25:42,196 So where are you guys from? 1049 01:25:45,474 --> 01:25:46,133 Okay. 1050 01:25:47,742 --> 01:25:49,039 Awww! 1051 01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:49,803 OH! 1052 01:25:53,181 --> 01:25:53,943 Aaahhh! 1053 01:25:56,585 --> 01:25:57,552 Grandpa Muffler! 1054 01:25:57,652 --> 01:26:00,382 Oh Nico, heavens to Betsy! 1055 01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:02,616 Tap Grandpa's ass! 1056 01:26:03,792 --> 01:26:05,259 Oh, that's good. 1057 01:26:13,401 --> 01:26:15,835 Yo, you got room for one more? 1058 01:26:16,671 --> 01:26:18,263 Ho! 1059 01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:30,174 There's a special place inside me that you have FOUND! 1060 01:26:30,285 --> 01:26:31,616 My God help me! 1061 01:26:32,854 --> 01:26:36,119 Oh, "Queer as Folk", eat your fuckin' heart out! 1062 01:27:12,694 --> 01:27:13,456 Good morning. 1063 01:27:15,564 --> 01:27:16,496 Thank God. 1064 01:27:18,533 --> 01:27:19,625 What? 1065 01:27:22,938 --> 01:27:23,996 I wasn't dreaming. 1066 01:27:41,856 --> 01:27:42,982 Morning, Beau. 1067 01:27:45,327 --> 01:27:46,294 Angel. 1068 01:28:14,856 --> 01:28:16,448 And the moral of the story is... 1069 01:28:16,558 --> 01:28:19,721 real men take it up the ass! 1070 01:28:23,465 --> 01:28:27,526 And the best butt-love... is when you're really in love. 1071 01:28:30,905 --> 01:28:32,668 Don't look so blue. 1072 01:28:32,774 --> 01:28:35,072 We're gonna find husbands someday. 1073 01:28:35,176 --> 01:28:36,165 I know. 1074 01:28:37,445 --> 01:28:39,037 It's just that... summer's over. 1075 01:28:40,615 --> 01:28:41,877 We're not kids anymore. 1076 01:28:44,786 --> 01:28:47,050 I'm really gonna miss you guys. 1077 01:28:47,155 --> 01:28:48,952 What the fuck! 1078 01:28:49,057 --> 01:28:50,524 You KNOW we're doin' Spring Break... 1079 01:28:50,625 --> 01:28:52,616 in Ft. Lauderdale, bitch! 1080 01:28:54,562 --> 01:28:55,586 To the sequel. 1081 01:28:56,564 --> 01:28:58,156 To the sequel! 1082 01:29:56,057 --> 01:29:57,388 Would you like to dance? 1083 01:29:57,492 --> 01:29:59,187 I thought you'd never ask. 1084 01:30:13,208 --> 01:30:14,072 My lady. 1085 01:30:25,386 --> 01:30:26,910 Awwwww. 1086 01:30:39,601 --> 01:30:41,432 Hiya, kids. 1087 01:30:41,536 --> 01:30:43,003 Hi, Mrs. Hunter. 1088 01:30:44,706 --> 01:30:45,638 Muffler. 1089 01:30:47,709 --> 01:30:50,701 Oh... Mrs. Hunter. 1090 01:30:53,248 --> 01:30:54,180 Wow. 1091 01:31:02,423 --> 01:31:04,755 Okay, okay, we gotta know. 1092 01:31:05,226 --> 01:31:05,988 Muffler... 1093 01:31:07,962 --> 01:31:09,293 What's your secret? 1094 01:31:17,205 --> 01:31:18,866 Arghhhhrghhhhhh. 71976

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