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1
00:00:19,501 --> 00:00:21,002
With the stars...
2
00:00:25,841 --> 00:00:27,675
and...
3
00:00:45,911 --> 00:00:48,913
( bubbling sound )
4
00:00:50,916 --> 00:00:54,852
( bubbling sound )
5
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,788
( bubbling sound subsiding )
6
00:00:56,855 --> 00:00:58,188
Whew!
7
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:00,357
Oh.
8
00:01:01,393 --> 00:01:03,561
? Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo... ?
9
00:01:03,629 --> 00:01:04,896
Oh, hi, Alice.
10
00:01:04,963 --> 00:01:06,196
Hiya, Trix.
11
00:01:06,264 --> 00:01:07,364
Where's Ralph?
12
00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:08,633
Oh, he's not home yet.
13
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,200
Oh. Well, Norton
just called me,
14
00:01:10,268 --> 00:01:11,936
and he told me
to tell Ralph
15
00:01:12,003 --> 00:01:13,404
that he might be
a little late
16
00:01:13,472 --> 00:01:14,472
for bowling tonight.
17
00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:15,640
On his way home
from work,
18
00:01:15,707 --> 00:01:17,341
he has to stop in at
this television store.
19
00:01:17,409 --> 00:01:18,676
We're getting a new set.
20
00:01:18,744 --> 00:01:19,894
You are?
Mm-hmm.
21
00:01:19,961 --> 00:01:21,496
What's the matter
with the old one?
22
00:01:21,563 --> 00:01:23,915
Oh, we've had an awful lot
of trouble with it, Alice.
23
00:01:23,982 --> 00:01:26,283
So, yesterday, I called in
the television repairman
24
00:01:26,351 --> 00:01:28,553
and he says
it just isn't worth fixing.
25
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:31,555
Gee. Here you are
getting your second set
26
00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:34,425
and we haven't had
our first one yet.
27
00:01:34,493 --> 00:01:36,928
Oh, I wish Ralph would
get me a television.
28
00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:38,763
I begged him,
Trixie, for a set.
29
00:01:38,831 --> 00:01:39,931
I pleaded with him.
30
00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:42,166
Alice, you're never going
to get anything
31
00:01:42,234 --> 00:01:43,467
out of Ralph
by begging.
32
00:01:43,535 --> 00:01:45,269
Husbands just love
to see us beg.
33
00:01:45,337 --> 00:01:47,739
Whenever I want to get
something out of Ed,
34
00:01:47,806 --> 00:01:50,441
I just use the old
"pipe and slippers" routine.
35
00:01:50,509 --> 00:01:51,542
What's that?
36
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:52,976
Well, when Ed
gets home from work,
37
00:01:53,044 --> 00:01:54,545
I bring him his pipe
and his slippers
38
00:01:54,613 --> 00:01:56,280
and I wait on him
and I flatter him.
39
00:01:56,348 --> 00:01:58,015
I make him real
comfortable.
40
00:01:58,082 --> 00:02:00,418
Then, when he's in a good mood,
I spring it on him.
41
00:02:00,485 --> 00:02:01,919
And Alice,
it never fails.
44
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,191
Hiya, Trix.
Hi.
45
00:02:07,259 --> 00:02:10,027
Hurry up with my eats;
I'm going bowling.
46
00:02:10,095 --> 00:02:10,861
Try it, Alice.
47
00:02:10,929 --> 00:02:12,646
Believe me,
it'll work.
48
00:02:12,714 --> 00:02:13,847
Well, I don't know.
49
00:02:13,915 --> 00:02:15,917
Go ahead;
what have you got to lose?
50
00:02:15,984 --> 00:02:17,685
Look, honey,
I'll see you later.
51
00:02:17,753 --> 00:02:19,320
Okay, Trix.
52
00:02:25,744 --> 00:02:28,279
Oh, Ralph?!
53
00:02:28,347 --> 00:02:31,182
Sweetheart-face?
54
00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:32,416
You don't have
to hurry.
55
00:02:32,484 --> 00:02:33,584
Ed called and said
56
00:02:33,651 --> 00:02:35,219
he might be a
little late tonight.
57
00:02:35,287 --> 00:02:37,588
Why don't you just let me
make you comfortable here
58
00:02:37,655 --> 00:02:39,323
because you've been
gone all day long
59
00:02:39,391 --> 00:02:42,426
and I miss you something
terrible, sweetums.
60
00:02:49,818 --> 00:02:53,170
Who is "sweetums"?
61
00:02:53,205 --> 00:02:55,156
You're sweetums.
62
00:02:55,224 --> 00:02:57,858
You're nuts.
63
00:02:57,926 --> 00:02:59,277
Oh, Ralph.
64
00:02:59,344 --> 00:03:01,979
Come on, sit down
and let me make
you comfortable.
65
00:03:02,047 --> 00:03:04,015
That way I can look
at my darling boy
66
00:03:04,082 --> 00:03:05,582
while I'm making supper.
67
00:03:07,803 --> 00:03:10,688
Have you been having
headaches lately?
68
00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:12,790
Ralph, there's nothing
wrong with me.
69
00:03:12,858 --> 00:03:14,675
Come on, now, sit
down and relax.
70
00:03:14,742 --> 00:03:17,278
Come on, and I'll
get you the paper.
71
00:03:17,346 --> 00:03:18,745
That's it.
72
00:03:18,813 --> 00:03:20,848
You just relax there.
73
00:03:26,488 --> 00:03:30,641
Oh, yeah, she's
gone, all right.
74
00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:31,776
Here, sweetie.
75
00:03:31,843 --> 00:03:33,077
There's your paper.
76
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:40,818
( humming )
77
00:03:44,456 --> 00:03:46,490
( humming )
78
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,362
It'll do you no good
to hide my shoes,
79
00:03:51,430 --> 00:03:53,730
'cause I'm going
bowling regardless.
80
00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:56,199
I don't want
to hide your shoes, Ralph.
81
00:03:56,267 --> 00:03:58,252
I want you to go bowling.
82
00:03:58,319 --> 00:04:01,489
I want you to do anything
that'll make you happy.
83
00:04:03,858 --> 00:04:06,660
All right, where is she?
84
00:04:06,728 --> 00:04:08,362
I know she's here.
85
00:04:08,430 --> 00:04:10,498
She's either out on
that fire escape
86
00:04:10,565 --> 00:04:12,033
or hiding in
the bathroom.
87
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,468
Your mother
is here, Alice,
88
00:04:14,536 --> 00:04:16,653
but she's not staying.
89
00:04:16,721 --> 00:04:18,539
Ralph, Mother isn't here.
90
00:04:18,607 --> 00:04:21,075
It's like I said, I just
want to make you comfortable.
91
00:04:21,142 --> 00:04:22,142
Come on now, sit down,
92
00:04:22,211 --> 00:04:23,844
and I'll get you
a nice, tall drink.
93
00:04:23,912 --> 00:04:25,279
Come on, Ralphie.
94
00:04:25,347 --> 00:04:26,063
That's it.
95
00:04:26,131 --> 00:04:28,549
What would you like, Ralph--
96
00:04:28,617 --> 00:04:31,218
lemonade, or, uh,
milk or juice?
97
00:04:31,286 --> 00:04:33,120
Let me have what
you're drinking.
98
00:04:33,187 --> 00:04:35,055
I want to get
loaded, too.
99
00:04:40,745 --> 00:04:42,329
I'll get you
some lemonade,
100
00:04:42,397 --> 00:04:44,698
'cause I know
that's your favorite.
101
00:04:48,152 --> 00:04:50,220
Here you are, sweetie.
102
00:04:51,322 --> 00:04:52,490
( giggles )
103
00:04:53,324 --> 00:04:55,025
( giggling )
104
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:00,197
Are you comfy, sweetums?
105
00:05:00,264 --> 00:05:01,899
Yeah, I'm comfy.
106
00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:03,767
Good.
107
00:05:03,835 --> 00:05:05,970
Oh, and by the
way, Ralph...
108
00:05:06,037 --> 00:05:08,606
Aha!
109
00:05:09,707 --> 00:05:11,708
Aha!
110
00:05:13,278 --> 00:05:15,028
"By the way," eh?
111
00:05:15,096 --> 00:05:18,165
I knew there'd have
to be a "by the way"
in here someplace.
112
00:05:18,232 --> 00:05:20,901
All right, what's
"by the way"?
113
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:21,886
All right, Ralph.
114
00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:24,388
The Nortons are getting
a new television set,
115
00:05:24,456 --> 00:05:26,858
and I was just thinking,
"Why don't we get one, too?"
116
00:05:26,925 --> 00:05:28,392
All right, Alice.
117
00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:30,995
I am now going
out the door again.
118
00:05:31,063 --> 00:05:32,296
When I come back in,
119
00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:34,398
act like I wasn't
in here before.
120
00:05:34,466 --> 00:05:37,601
And I don't want
any of this...
121
00:05:37,669 --> 00:05:39,270
none of that...
122
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,839
none of this stuff.
123
00:05:41,907 --> 00:05:44,641
I don't want to be comfy,
I don't want my slippers,
124
00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:47,778
I don't want any lemonade,
and most of all,
125
00:05:47,846 --> 00:05:49,780
most of all,
I don't want any talk
126
00:05:49,848 --> 00:05:51,548
about buying
a television set.
127
00:05:51,616 --> 00:05:53,417
Ralph, why can't we
have a television set?
128
00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:55,018
The Nortons are on
their second one.
129
00:05:55,086 --> 00:05:56,721
We haven't even had
our first one yet.
130
00:05:56,788 --> 00:05:59,123
Why do you always
have to be so cheap?
131
00:05:59,191 --> 00:06:01,025
Cheap?
132
00:06:01,093 --> 00:06:02,359
Cheap?
133
00:06:02,427 --> 00:06:04,428
Is that why you think
I won't get you a set,
134
00:06:04,495 --> 00:06:05,763
'cause I'm cheap?
135
00:06:05,831 --> 00:06:07,564
Well, that shows
how much you know.
136
00:06:07,632 --> 00:06:09,266
All right,
what is the reason?
137
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:10,617
Do you want to
know the reason?
138
00:06:10,685 --> 00:06:11,685
Yeah.
139
00:06:11,753 --> 00:06:12,886
You wanna know the reason?
140
00:06:12,954 --> 00:06:14,187
Yeah!
141
00:06:14,255 --> 00:06:16,122
The reason?
142
00:06:16,190 --> 00:06:18,124
All right, I'll
tell you the reason.
143
00:06:18,192 --> 00:06:22,929
I'm waiting for
3-D television--
that's the reason.
144
00:06:22,997 --> 00:06:26,500
Are you waiting
for 3-D refrigerators, too?
145
00:06:26,568 --> 00:06:27,968
Let's face it, Ralph.
146
00:06:28,036 --> 00:06:29,637
You're just too cheap
to get me a set.
147
00:06:29,704 --> 00:06:31,605
Ed Norton makes
the same money you do
148
00:06:31,673 --> 00:06:33,140
and you know what they have?
149
00:06:33,207 --> 00:06:34,508
They got a washing machine,
150
00:06:34,576 --> 00:06:36,877
they got a vacuum cleaner,
they got a television set,
151
00:06:36,945 --> 00:06:38,378
they even got
an electric stove.
152
00:06:40,782 --> 00:06:42,866
I gotta go along
with you, Alice.
153
00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:44,302
You're right.
154
00:06:44,369 --> 00:06:46,370
They got all
of those things.
155
00:06:46,438 --> 00:06:49,206
And they got one more thing
that we ain't got.
156
00:06:49,274 --> 00:06:52,009
Do you know what
that is? Worries.
157
00:06:52,076 --> 00:06:53,844
Do you know why
they got worries?
158
00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:57,247
'Cause every week he's
got to go down and pay
for those things, see?
159
00:06:57,316 --> 00:07:00,034
That's headaches when you
got to pay out every week.
160
00:07:00,101 --> 00:07:01,819
I don't have
any headaches.
161
00:07:01,886 --> 00:07:03,453
I got peace of mind.
162
00:07:03,521 --> 00:07:07,324
That's what I got--
peace of mind.
163
00:07:07,391 --> 00:07:09,410
Go ahead, let
them buy things.
164
00:07:09,477 --> 00:07:10,644
Let 'em buy 'em.
165
00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:12,279
What good are things?
166
00:07:12,347 --> 00:07:13,747
I got money, Alice.
167
00:07:13,814 --> 00:07:16,683
I sock mine
away in a bank.
168
00:07:16,751 --> 00:07:19,386
You know what
the bank account is now?
169
00:07:19,454 --> 00:07:21,305
It's going up! Up!
170
00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:25,175
We got $75
laying around there.
171
00:07:26,844 --> 00:07:28,545
That's what we got.
172
00:07:28,613 --> 00:07:30,381
So, don't go
envying Trixie.
173
00:07:30,448 --> 00:07:32,216
She's got electric stoves,
174
00:07:32,283 --> 00:07:34,885
she's got television sets,
she's got washing machines.
175
00:07:34,952 --> 00:07:38,972
You've got
financial security.
176
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,141
Just remember that.
177
00:07:41,208 --> 00:07:42,910
You know as well
as I do, Alice,
178
00:07:42,977 --> 00:07:45,211
that money is
better than things.
179
00:07:45,279 --> 00:07:47,981
I would rather have
money in my wallet--
180
00:07:48,049 --> 00:07:50,183
in my wallet,
I'd rather have money--
181
00:07:50,251 --> 00:07:52,252
than all the things
in the world.
182
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,688
So, let Norton have
his vacuum cleaners.
183
00:07:54,756 --> 00:07:56,757
Let him have
his television sets.
184
00:07:56,825 --> 00:07:58,526
Let him have his
electrical stoves.
185
00:07:58,593 --> 00:07:59,593
Go ahead.
186
00:07:59,661 --> 00:08:01,796
I got one thing
that he hasn't got.
187
00:08:01,930 --> 00:08:04,114
I've got it here.
188
00:08:06,318 --> 00:08:11,272
You got it here,
and you got it here,
189
00:08:11,339 --> 00:08:13,240
and you got it here.
190
00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:18,846
But I still want
a television set.
191
00:08:18,913 --> 00:08:21,115
Now, look around
you, Ralph.
192
00:08:21,182 --> 00:08:22,882
We don't have any
electric appliances.
193
00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:25,586
Do you want to know
what our electric bill
was last month?
194
00:08:25,653 --> 00:08:28,121
39 cents.
195
00:08:29,474 --> 00:08:34,661
We haven't blown a fuse,
Ralph, in ten years.
196
00:08:34,729 --> 00:08:36,213
What ever happened
197
00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:40,484
to the sweet, unspoiled
girl I married before?
198
00:08:40,552 --> 00:08:42,819
What ever happened
to that girl, Alice?
199
00:08:42,887 --> 00:08:45,489
Do you remember what you said
to me before we got married?
200
00:08:45,557 --> 00:08:48,325
"Ralph, I'd be happy to
live in a tent with you."
201
00:08:48,393 --> 00:08:49,893
I'm still willing.
202
00:08:49,961 --> 00:08:52,028
I think
it would be an improvement.
203
00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,614
Do you wanna
go to the moon?
204
00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:55,249
Do you wanna
go to the moon?!
205
00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:57,802
That would be
an improvement, too.
206
00:08:57,853 --> 00:08:59,053
Oh...
207
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,121
Now, let me
tell you something,
208
00:09:01,189 --> 00:09:02,856
Mr. Financial Security.
209
00:09:02,923 --> 00:09:03,974
I want a television set,
210
00:09:04,042 --> 00:09:05,859
and I'm going to get
a television set.
211
00:09:05,927 --> 00:09:07,811
I have lived in this place
for 14 years
212
00:09:07,879 --> 00:09:10,047
without a stick of furniture
being changed.
213
00:09:10,115 --> 00:09:11,315
Not one.
214
00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:13,150
I am sick and tired of it.
215
00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:14,301
And what do you do?
216
00:09:14,369 --> 00:09:15,402
You don't care about this.
217
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:16,504
This place looks like
218
00:09:16,571 --> 00:09:18,038
Washington's birthplace,
or something.
219
00:09:18,106 --> 00:09:20,207
We gotta preserve it
exactly as it was.
220
00:09:20,274 --> 00:09:21,876
You know what
it looks like to me?
221
00:09:21,943 --> 00:09:23,844
It's more like
Lincoln's birthplace.
222
00:09:23,912 --> 00:09:25,779
Nah...
And what do you care
about it?
223
00:09:25,847 --> 00:09:27,414
You're out all day long.
224
00:09:27,482 --> 00:09:29,033
And at night,
what are you doing?
225
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,434
Spending money playing pool,
226
00:09:30,502 --> 00:09:31,668
spending money bowling,
227
00:09:31,736 --> 00:09:34,571
or paying dues at that
crazy lodge you belong to.
228
00:09:34,639 --> 00:09:37,174
And I'm left here to look
at that ice box, that stove,
229
00:09:37,242 --> 00:09:39,042
that sink and
these four walls.
230
00:09:39,110 --> 00:09:41,245
Well, I don't wanna look
at that icebox,
231
00:09:41,312 --> 00:09:43,680
that stove, that sink
and these four walls.
232
00:09:43,748 --> 00:09:46,583
I want to look
at Liberace!
233
00:09:53,641 --> 00:09:56,009
Ha!
234
00:09:58,046 --> 00:09:59,479
What do you say,
there, Ralph?
235
00:09:59,548 --> 00:10:02,049
Shut up, you troublemaker.
236
00:10:02,116 --> 00:10:03,250
What did I do? What? What?
237
00:10:03,317 --> 00:10:04,351
You know what you did.
238
00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:05,953
I'll tell you
what you did.
239
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:08,589
You had to go and
buy Trixie another
television set.
240
00:10:08,657 --> 00:10:09,924
Now Alice wants me
to buy her one.
241
00:10:09,991 --> 00:10:12,092
And she wants
to use my pool, my bowling
242
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,561
and my dues money to do it.
243
00:10:13,628 --> 00:10:15,262
Hey, h-how come
Alice found out
244
00:10:15,329 --> 00:10:17,497
about such a thing
as television, Ralph?
245
00:10:17,566 --> 00:10:20,267
I thought you kept her in
the dark on things like that.
246
00:10:20,334 --> 00:10:22,803
( laughing )
247
00:10:22,871 --> 00:10:25,806
Well, if you're going
to buy a television set,
248
00:10:25,874 --> 00:10:29,076
I guess what I came down
to see you about is out.
249
00:10:29,143 --> 00:10:30,811
I was down pricing
those television sets
250
00:10:30,879 --> 00:10:32,112
and they're
pretty steep.
251
00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:33,447
Pretty expensive.
252
00:10:33,514 --> 00:10:34,949
I can't afford
one right now.
253
00:10:35,016 --> 00:10:37,051
I figured I'd borrow
a little money from you.
254
00:10:37,118 --> 00:10:38,351
Why should you do that?
255
00:10:38,419 --> 00:10:39,653
Why don't you go down
256
00:10:39,721 --> 00:10:42,322
and get it like you got
everything else-- on time?
257
00:10:42,390 --> 00:10:43,607
I can't.
258
00:10:43,674 --> 00:10:45,075
They won't give me
any more credit
259
00:10:45,143 --> 00:10:46,210
down there at the store.
260
00:10:46,277 --> 00:10:47,544
I got 18 accounts
going already.
261
00:10:47,612 --> 00:10:48,912
No, 19-- I bought
262
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:52,082
a water softener
last week.
263
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,718
Well, I guess for the
next two or three months
264
00:10:54,785 --> 00:10:56,453
I gotta go
without television.
265
00:10:56,521 --> 00:10:57,854
Boy, I'm gonna
miss it, too.
266
00:10:57,922 --> 00:10:59,689
Couldn't have come
at a worse time.
267
00:10:59,757 --> 00:11:01,591
Do you realize that
tomorrow afternoon
268
00:11:01,659 --> 00:11:03,460
Captain Video
takes off for Pluto?!
269
00:11:07,698 --> 00:11:08,965
Hey, wait a minute.
270
00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:10,167
What?
271
00:11:10,235 --> 00:11:11,335
Wait a minute.
272
00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:13,137
I've got the solution
to the whole thing.
273
00:11:13,204 --> 00:11:15,239
Look, you haven't got
enough money to buy a set.
274
00:11:15,306 --> 00:11:17,408
I haven't got enough
money to buy a set.
275
00:11:17,475 --> 00:11:19,076
But if we put
our money together,
276
00:11:19,144 --> 00:11:21,111
we got enough dough
to get a great set.
277
00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:23,113
This solves
the whole problem.
278
00:11:23,181 --> 00:11:25,249
You can see Captain Video,
I can go bowling,
279
00:11:25,316 --> 00:11:26,616
and Alice
can sit around here
280
00:11:26,684 --> 00:11:28,685
and watch television
all day if she wants.
281
00:11:28,753 --> 00:11:30,654
I gotta go along
with you, Ralph.
282
00:11:30,721 --> 00:11:32,256
The whole route
all the way,
283
00:11:32,323 --> 00:11:33,557
except for one thing.
284
00:11:33,624 --> 00:11:34,758
How come automatically
285
00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,527
this television set
lands down here
286
00:11:36,594 --> 00:11:38,495
instead of up there?
287
00:11:38,563 --> 00:11:41,065
I have seen some babies
in my day,
288
00:11:41,132 --> 00:11:42,832
but you are the champ.
289
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:44,334
All right,
we'll flip a coin
290
00:11:44,402 --> 00:11:46,403
to see where
the television set goes.
291
00:11:46,471 --> 00:11:48,472
Give me a coin.
292
00:11:50,708 --> 00:11:53,544
All right, uh...
293
00:11:53,611 --> 00:11:56,646
heads, I win,
tails, you lose. Right?
294
00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:01,685
Tails, you lose.
295
00:12:01,752 --> 00:12:02,469
Now...
296
00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:06,239
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
297
00:12:06,307 --> 00:12:07,607
What's wrong?
298
00:12:07,675 --> 00:12:10,144
I hope I don't
insult you, Ralph,
299
00:12:10,211 --> 00:12:13,414
but would you mind
giving me back my coin?
300
00:12:13,481 --> 00:12:15,149
Oh, oh, yes, yes.
301
00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:16,683
Boy.
302
00:12:16,751 --> 00:12:19,569
Right about here,
it ought to go, pal.
303
00:13:52,879 --> 00:13:55,415
Alice, you got the paper
in there?
304
00:14:03,123 --> 00:14:06,492
( humming )
305
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:09,395
( continues humming )
306
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:17,887
( humming )
307
00:14:17,954 --> 00:14:19,522
( stops humming )
308
00:14:19,589 --> 00:14:22,558
TELEVISION ANNOUNCER:
Calling all Space Rangers.
309
00:14:22,626 --> 00:14:24,327
It's time to blast off
310
00:14:24,394 --> 00:14:28,014
with Captain Video
and his Video Rangers!
311
00:14:28,082 --> 00:14:30,050
CAPTAIN VIDEO:
Hello out there, Rangers.
312
00:14:30,117 --> 00:14:32,185
This is Captain Video.
313
00:14:32,253 --> 00:14:33,920
Are you all ready
to join me today
314
00:14:33,987 --> 00:14:35,922
on our trip to outer space?
315
00:14:36,006 --> 00:14:37,723
I am ready, oh, Captain Video!
316
00:14:39,193 --> 00:14:41,294
Very good.
317
00:14:41,362 --> 00:14:43,079
Let us all put on
318
00:14:43,147 --> 00:14:46,099
our official
Captain Video space helmets.
319
00:14:52,372 --> 00:14:54,840
Official Captain Video
space helmet on,
320
00:14:54,908 --> 00:14:56,075
oh, Captain Video!
321
00:14:56,143 --> 00:14:59,062
Adjust disintegrator gun.
322
00:15:07,671 --> 00:15:11,141
Disintegrator gun adjusted,
oh, Captain Video.
323
00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:16,045
And now, we blast off
for Pluto and the moon!
324
00:15:17,748 --> 00:15:19,782
( rocket engine roaring )
325
00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:22,134
Aah!
326
00:15:26,073 --> 00:15:28,608
Attention, Rangers!
327
00:15:28,676 --> 00:15:31,143
I want all you Rangers
at home
328
00:15:31,211 --> 00:15:34,931
to recite
the Captain Video Ranger Pledge.
329
00:15:36,817 --> 00:15:40,019
I, Edward Norton,
Ranger Third Class
330
00:15:40,086 --> 00:15:41,788
in the Captain Video
Space Academy
331
00:15:41,855 --> 00:15:44,690
do solemnly pledge to
obey my mommy and daddy,
332
00:15:44,825 --> 00:15:46,875
be kind to dumb animals
333
00:15:46,943 --> 00:15:49,712
and old ladies
in outer space,
334
00:15:49,779 --> 00:15:52,465
not to tease my little
brothers and sisters
335
00:15:52,533 --> 00:15:54,800
and to brush my teeth
twice a day
336
00:15:54,868 --> 00:15:57,119
and drink milk
after every meal.
337
00:15:57,187 --> 00:15:59,038
All right, that did it.
338
00:15:59,105 --> 00:16:01,073
All right, out!
339
00:16:01,141 --> 00:16:03,142
Get out!
340
00:16:08,248 --> 00:16:10,015
Out!
341
00:16:10,083 --> 00:16:11,484
Now, look, you,
342
00:16:11,552 --> 00:16:13,219
let's have
an understanding.
343
00:16:13,286 --> 00:16:15,221
We've had this set
for three nights,
344
00:16:15,288 --> 00:16:16,389
and for three nights,
345
00:16:16,457 --> 00:16:18,224
I've listened
to nothing but space shows,
346
00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:21,327
Westerns, cartoon frolics
and puppet shows.
347
00:16:21,395 --> 00:16:22,995
Tonight,
I am watching a movie,
348
00:16:23,063 --> 00:16:25,064
and if you dare
to make a sound
349
00:16:25,131 --> 00:16:26,599
while the movie is on,
350
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:28,968
I'll cut off
your air supply!
351
00:16:37,194 --> 00:16:39,061
MAN ON TV:
Julia, darling.
352
00:16:39,129 --> 00:16:41,998
WOMAN ON TV:
Oh, Harry, you're wonderful.
353
00:16:42,065 --> 00:16:44,533
Julia, I love you.
354
00:16:44,601 --> 00:16:45,601
Oh, Harry...
355
00:16:45,669 --> 00:16:46,669
Aah, that silly muck.
356
00:16:46,737 --> 00:16:47,770
I've got my rights.
357
00:16:47,837 --> 00:16:49,204
I'm gonna look
at Captain Video.
358
00:16:49,273 --> 00:16:50,706
Yes, Rangers!
359
00:16:50,774 --> 00:16:54,042
And now we are approaching
the inner atmosphere.
360
00:16:54,110 --> 00:16:55,244
HARRY:
Your hair
361
00:16:55,312 --> 00:16:57,313
is like golden
sunflowers.
362
00:16:57,381 --> 00:17:00,149
JULIA:
Oh, Harry, take me away.
363
00:17:00,216 --> 00:17:02,918
...a giant crater
filled with boiling lava!
364
00:17:02,986 --> 00:17:04,353
Let me hold you
close to me.
365
00:17:04,421 --> 00:17:05,354
Come, Harry.
366
00:17:05,422 --> 00:17:07,956
All right, all right!
367
00:17:08,024 --> 00:17:10,259
Get out!
368
00:17:10,327 --> 00:17:11,460
Now, wait a minute.
369
00:17:11,528 --> 00:17:13,396
Wait a minute!
Get out! Out! Out!
370
00:17:13,463 --> 00:17:14,330
Need I remind you
371
00:17:14,397 --> 00:17:15,664
that I paid for
half of that set?
372
00:17:15,732 --> 00:17:16,999
If you "Out!
Out! Out!" me,
373
00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:18,667
then half of that set
goes "Out! Out!" too.
374
00:17:18,735 --> 00:17:20,436
How do you like
them there apples?
375
00:17:20,503 --> 00:17:25,858
Look. Look,
you space cadet.
376
00:17:25,926 --> 00:17:28,827
We've got to come
to some kind of an agreement.
377
00:17:28,829 --> 00:17:30,179
If we're going
to watch this set,
378
00:17:30,246 --> 00:17:31,614
it's half mine
as well as yours.
379
00:17:31,682 --> 00:17:32,948
If we're gonna
watch anything,
380
00:17:33,016 --> 00:17:34,850
it's got to be something
that we agree on.
381
00:17:34,918 --> 00:17:36,118
Well, all right,
382
00:17:36,186 --> 00:17:37,820
I guess we can
find something
we can agree on.
383
00:17:37,887 --> 00:17:39,388
All right.
384
00:17:39,456 --> 00:17:40,656
We'll look in the paper
385
00:17:40,724 --> 00:17:42,625
and pick out something
in the media.
386
00:17:42,693 --> 00:17:44,393
Wait a minute.
387
00:17:46,112 --> 00:17:48,614
Official space helmet off,
Captain Video,
388
00:17:48,682 --> 00:17:49,882
wherever you are.
389
00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:52,318
Will you cut
that out?!
390
00:17:59,259 --> 00:18:02,561
Hey, here's a movie.
391
00:18:02,629 --> 00:18:04,463
Rhythm on Ice.
392
00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:07,733
With Kenny Baker,
Jane Frazee...
393
00:18:07,801 --> 00:18:09,134
Oh.
394
00:18:09,202 --> 00:18:10,403
Buddy Ebsen...
395
00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:13,238
Jerry Colonna
and Frankie Darro.
396
00:18:13,307 --> 00:18:15,140
Hey, hey,
that's a neat picture.
397
00:18:15,208 --> 00:18:16,809
Boy, that
Jane Frazee can...
398
00:18:16,876 --> 00:18:18,844
Hey, wait a minute,
here's something better.
399
00:18:18,912 --> 00:18:20,212
Fights of the World.
400
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,548
Maxie Rosenbloom
against Kingfish Lavinsky.
401
00:18:22,616 --> 00:18:23,783
That sounds good.
402
00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:25,117
Let's watch that.
403
00:18:25,185 --> 00:18:26,786
See, it's not hard
to agree
404
00:18:26,853 --> 00:18:28,721
once we hit
on something.
405
00:18:28,789 --> 00:18:31,023
Nope.
406
00:18:31,090 --> 00:18:33,559
( crowd noise on TV )
407
00:18:33,627 --> 00:18:36,346
Isn't that a little fuzzy?
408
00:18:39,916 --> 00:18:42,418
Sometimes it gets fuzzy
when you switch the channels.
409
00:18:42,486 --> 00:18:44,687
You got to move the aerial.
410
00:18:44,755 --> 00:18:47,857
Here. Move around the room.
411
00:18:47,924 --> 00:18:49,141
I'll tell you
if it comes in clear.
412
00:18:49,209 --> 00:18:50,142
How is it going there?
413
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:51,511
Nah.
414
00:18:51,578 --> 00:18:52,612
How about that?
415
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:53,613
No.
416
00:18:53,681 --> 00:18:55,815
Go out in the hall, there.
417
00:18:55,882 --> 00:18:57,483
What do you mean,
"out in the hall"?
418
00:18:57,551 --> 00:18:59,885
Sometimes it's very tricky
to get a better picture.
419
00:18:59,953 --> 00:19:01,220
You have to move
the aerial.
420
00:19:01,288 --> 00:19:03,956
Go out in the hall.
421
00:19:04,024 --> 00:19:06,025
How is it now?
422
00:19:06,092 --> 00:19:08,477
No, not better yet.
423
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,147
RALPH:
How about here?
424
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:14,600
RALPH:
Is it all right now?
425
00:19:14,752 --> 00:19:15,651
Is the picture
on now?
426
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:18,221
That's perfect now, Ralph!
427
00:19:18,288 --> 00:19:20,356
Right here?
Yeah!
428
00:19:26,329 --> 00:19:27,764
( pounding on door )
429
00:19:27,831 --> 00:19:28,865
Norton!
430
00:19:28,932 --> 00:19:30,466
Let me in there,
Norton!
431
00:19:30,533 --> 00:19:32,068
ANNOUNCER:
And now let's investigate
these...
432
00:19:32,136 --> 00:19:35,722
Official space helmet on,
Captain Video!
433
00:19:35,789 --> 00:19:39,142
( frantic pounding at door )
434
00:19:48,852 --> 00:19:51,821
( soft background music
playing on TV )
435
00:19:59,963 --> 00:20:01,964
( soft music continuing on TV )
436
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:11,307
ALICE:
Ralph, will you
come to bed?
437
00:20:11,375 --> 00:20:14,377
It's 1:00 in
the morning!
438
00:20:14,444 --> 00:20:16,479
I'm watching The Late Show.
439
00:20:22,052 --> 00:20:24,971
( soft movie background music
continuing on TV )
440
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:30,876
Fares, fares... oh.
441
00:20:33,179 --> 00:20:35,847
You gotta go to work
tomorrow, you know.
442
00:20:35,915 --> 00:20:37,849
All right, I'll be in
in a minute.
443
00:20:37,917 --> 00:20:41,737
? ?
444
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,824
( soft movie background music
continuing )
445
00:20:52,766 --> 00:20:56,702
? ?
446
00:20:56,770 --> 00:21:00,456
( end-of-movie fanfare plays )
447
00:21:04,694 --> 00:21:07,696
( music crescendos )
448
00:21:11,668 --> 00:21:12,651
( music stops )
449
00:21:14,354 --> 00:21:17,706
Ralph, will you wake
up and come to bed?
450
00:21:17,774 --> 00:21:18,774
What?
451
00:21:18,841 --> 00:21:20,176
Ralph.
452
00:21:20,243 --> 00:21:21,010
Yeah?
453
00:21:21,161 --> 00:21:22,261
Come to bed!
454
00:21:22,329 --> 00:21:24,430
All right.
455
00:21:24,498 --> 00:21:26,532
( yawning )
456
00:21:29,419 --> 00:21:34,657
( crashing and clattering )
457
00:21:34,724 --> 00:21:36,825
Ralph? Ralph!
458
00:21:41,764 --> 00:21:43,732
I fell down the stairs.
459
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,000
What do you expect
460
00:21:45,068 --> 00:21:47,469
staying up all night
watching television?
461
00:22:12,729 --> 00:22:16,715
ANNOUNCER:
And now for
The Late, Late, Late Show.
462
00:22:19,086 --> 00:22:21,087
? ?
463
00:22:25,259 --> 00:22:27,059
( gunshots )
464
00:22:27,127 --> 00:22:29,028
( woman screams )
465
00:22:35,384 --> 00:22:37,486
Hey...
Get out!
466
00:22:37,553 --> 00:22:40,756
Get out! Get out!
467
00:22:40,824 --> 00:22:42,474
If I go, that set
goes with me!
468
00:22:42,542 --> 00:22:44,510
That set goes
over my dead body!
469
00:22:44,578 --> 00:22:46,378
I couldn't get it out
over your dead body.
470
00:22:46,446 --> 00:22:48,480
What do you think I am,
a mountain climber?
471
00:22:48,548 --> 00:22:50,182
All right, let's go.
472
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:52,084
All right,
all right!
473
00:22:53,754 --> 00:22:55,287
What's going on
out here?
474
00:22:55,355 --> 00:22:57,122
This idiot's got the gall
to come down here
475
00:22:57,190 --> 00:22:58,758
and put
The Late, Late, Late Show on
476
00:22:58,825 --> 00:23:01,326
when I'm trying to get to sleep,
and I gotta go to work tomorrow.
477
00:23:01,394 --> 00:23:03,228
Oh, why doesn't he take the set
upstairs and watch it?
478
00:23:03,296 --> 00:23:05,097
He's not allowed
to take the set upstairs
479
00:23:05,165 --> 00:23:08,401
'cause I flipped him a coin,
and the set stays down here.
480
00:23:08,468 --> 00:23:09,535
That's right, Alice.
481
00:23:09,602 --> 00:23:11,503
When we flipped
a coin, he won.
482
00:23:11,571 --> 00:23:13,371
He said before
he flipped,
483
00:23:13,439 --> 00:23:16,408
he said, "Heads, I win,
tails, you lose,"
484
00:23:16,476 --> 00:23:17,910
and it was tails,
and I lost.
485
00:23:17,978 --> 00:23:19,645
He won.
486
00:23:19,713 --> 00:23:21,446
Don't look at me like that.
487
00:23:21,514 --> 00:23:22,681
I learned that trick from you.
488
00:23:22,749 --> 00:23:23,782
That's how we got married.
489
00:23:23,850 --> 00:23:25,651
Don't start with me.
490
00:23:25,719 --> 00:23:26,568
What trick?!
491
00:23:26,636 --> 00:23:27,919
There's no trick.
492
00:23:27,987 --> 00:23:29,755
Why does all this
have to happen to me?
493
00:23:29,822 --> 00:23:31,724
Do you wanna know why
this happens to you, Ralph?
494
00:23:31,791 --> 00:23:32,924
Well, I'll tell you.
495
00:23:32,992 --> 00:23:34,627
You couldn't go out
and buy a television set
496
00:23:34,761 --> 00:23:35,778
like everybody else.
497
00:23:35,845 --> 00:23:37,312
Oh, no,
you had to have a scheme.
498
00:23:37,380 --> 00:23:39,081
So you dragged
this poor soul into it
499
00:23:39,149 --> 00:23:40,849
so you could get
the set for half price.
500
00:23:40,917 --> 00:23:41,984
Then when the poor soul
501
00:23:42,052 --> 00:23:43,752
wants to come down
and look at a program,
502
00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:45,353
you've got to start
picking on him.
503
00:23:45,421 --> 00:23:47,356
That's right, you always
pick, pick, pick, pick...
504
00:23:47,424 --> 00:23:48,824
Aw, shut up!
505
00:23:51,294 --> 00:23:52,461
Just a minute, Ed.
506
00:23:52,529 --> 00:23:53,796
You're no angel in this, either.
507
00:23:53,864 --> 00:23:55,665
I don't understand
you two boys.
508
00:23:55,732 --> 00:23:56,766
Such good friends,
509
00:23:56,833 --> 00:23:58,267
you always
get along well together.
510
00:23:58,334 --> 00:24:01,136
You don't have any trouble
when you bowl or shoot pool.
511
00:24:01,204 --> 00:24:03,405
But this, why can't
you get along now?
512
00:24:03,473 --> 00:24:05,474
For heaven's sake,
stop acting like babies
513
00:24:05,542 --> 00:24:07,142
and try to grow up a little.
514
00:24:11,832 --> 00:24:15,167
Well, Norton, I...
I guess she's right.
515
00:24:15,235 --> 00:24:18,003
I apologize.
516
00:24:18,071 --> 00:24:19,521
Put her there, pal.
517
00:24:19,590 --> 00:24:21,523
Well, good night, pal.
518
00:24:21,592 --> 00:24:23,759
Hey, uh...
What?
519
00:24:23,827 --> 00:24:25,110
Do you mind if
I stick around
520
00:24:25,178 --> 00:24:27,746
and watch the... watch the
end of that movie, there?
521
00:24:27,814 --> 00:24:30,866
Charlie Chan: the Galloping
Ghost of Mystery Gulch.
522
00:24:30,934 --> 00:24:33,135
Galloping Ghost
of Mystery Gulch?
523
00:24:33,203 --> 00:24:34,403
It's a Charlie
Chan picture.
524
00:24:34,471 --> 00:24:35,871
It's, it's a mystery--
525
00:24:35,939 --> 00:24:37,506
a murder mystery-- on
The Late, Late, Late Show.
526
00:24:37,574 --> 00:24:39,008
Turn it on.
527
00:24:40,911 --> 00:24:42,244
Boy, in this last part,
528
00:24:42,312 --> 00:24:44,213
his number one son
was really in trouble, there.
529
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,982
Yeah?
530
00:24:46,049 --> 00:24:49,051
( suspenseful music plays
on TV )
531
00:24:56,793 --> 00:24:58,827
? ?
532
00:25:10,173 --> 00:25:12,674
? ?
533
00:25:16,712 --> 00:25:18,147
( TV turns off )
534
00:25:18,214 --> 00:25:19,899
I've got to admit it, Ralph.
535
00:25:19,966 --> 00:25:22,050
Once in your life
you were right.
536
00:25:22,118 --> 00:25:24,853
We never should have
gotten a television set.
36994
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