All language subtitles for The.nanny.S06E19.DVDRip.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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Oh, Val, I am sitting on a
secret for over a week now,

and I cannot tell a living soul.

Okay.

Good cake.

Niles and Miss Babcock
are having an affair.

( Gasps ) With who?

With each other.

So where are they now?

Well, he was called out of town for
this big family reunion in London,

and she said she'd take him to the
airport in the limo. In the back.

Because, all of a sudden, she was in
need of duty-free L'air du Temps.

Hello, hello.

- Hi, Miss Babcock.
- Hi, Miss Babcock.

Um, Miss Babcock,
did Niles get off okay?

( laughs )

Yes.

( Clears throat )
Oh, Nanny Fine,

would you please tell Maxwell

that there's a crack in
the privacy glass of the limo?

It looks to me like someone's
heel went through it?

The limo.

I feel so bad for Miss Babcock.

These are the moments that you want
to share with someone close to you.

You know, like your mother.

Ma!

Maggie, I have
something to tell you.

I got that modeling
campaign in Japan.

Oh, congratulations!

What I'm about to say, your
parents aren't going to like.

But I have to leave
in less than five days,

and I can't stand the thought of
us being apart for a whole year.

So, Maggie?

Will you marry me?

- Fran: Yes!
- Max: No!

♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Till her boyfriend kicked her out
in one of those crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do, where was she
to go, she was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair, she was
there, that's how she became the Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids are actually
smiling such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl from Flushing,
the Nanny named Fran ♪

This boy just asked
my daughter to marry him!

What do you mean, "yes?"

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie, I didn't
mean to say yes before you.

It's just that it's in my DNA.

I hear a marriage proposal,
I have to accept.

Look, Margaret is entirely
too young to get married.

Why? I was just about her age
when we got married.

Well, all right, I should have
been her age when we got married.

Excuse me, but this is a very
important moment in my life.

Could we have some privacy?

- Fran: Yes.
- Max: No.

Fine.

I love you, Michael,
and I would love to marry you.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!

What's up?

Come see the ring,
my son-in-law is a Jewish model.

Oh, my God!

No one's getting married!

You're getting married?

I have never been this thin
in a wedding photo before.

How fast can you do it?

We got five days
to plan the wedding!

There is no wedding.

Are ostrich feathers politically
correct after dark?

- Excuse me.
- Look at that ring.

( All speak at once )

Excuse me!

I haven't finished here.

Oh, sorry, honey. Keep talking.
We're listening.

- What?
- I think

that we should have a make-your-own
Belgian waffle bar, is that perfect?

What are you talking about? There
isn't going to be a wedding.

Would you come back here and discuss this?
Where are you going?

Get back here,
I have not finished with this!

What's all the noise about?

- I'm marrying your sister.
- Oh.

But actually, Fran said yes and your
grandmother left with the ring on

and no one's letting
your father talk.

Welcome to the mishpucheh, bro.

Margaret, you haven't even
been seeing this boy for a year.

How about a Cupid fountain
that pees mimosas?

Oh, the Schwartzbergs had that at the bris.
It was very unique.

( Sighs ) I need some air.

Oh, that doesn't work.
Give it here.

I don't understand. First
you're upset because

Michael and I want
to move in together,

and then you're upset
because we want to get married?

Excuse me.

- Val?
- Uh-huh?

I'm a little bit nauseous.

Do you have any soda crackers
or anything?

Well, I got some Cap'n Crunch
in the glove department.

Honey, could you get some?

Now listen here, use this.

I thought you said
it didn't work.

On the window, but it's perfect to
pry open the glove compartment.

How about a caricaturist
for the wedding?

Oh, that's so tacky, ma. Can't we
just stick with the Cupid peeing?

Well, I'm sorry, but I don't see
a box of Cap'n Crunch in here.

Oh, no, they're not in a box.
They're loose.

Here. Take these.

Now I've had enough.
I am the head of this household,

and as such I have a say in the
future of my eldest daughter.

This will not be rushed into.

There will be no wedding.
End of discussion.

Oh, you are going to make
such a beautiful bride!

This is a knock-off of the dress
Melissa Rivers almost bought.

Ooh!

Fran, what are we going
to do about daddy?

He was so upset when Val
dropped him off at the theater.

Oh, sweetie, it's been
my experience with your father

that he just needs time to think about
it and then he changes his mind.

Fathers are always devastated when
their little girls get married.

But your father was happy.

I said little girls.

- Ugh, Fran.
- Yeah?

I remember the first time
you brought Maggie in.

You were just the nanny and I was
working here behind the counter.

- Yeah.
- Now, you're married,

you got a whole family,

and I work at a donut shop six
blocks closer to the bus stop.

When you wish upon a star...

It's so fancy.

Everyone will look at me.

So? They'll think
you're a beautiful girl.

I don't know... I'm not good
at this like you are.

Honey, that's what I'm here for.

What do you think?
You turn 14, and boom,

you've got the savoir faire
and sophistication

of a woman of my years
and experience?

Look, when I was 14...

go try it on.

Who knew this job
would be so demanding?

Please, I'm exhausted.

Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?

I'm just so happy
that I got married before her.

Oh...

Do you think it would take away
from the bride if I wore this?

Hi, sweetie.

I knew you were upset,

so I made you
a little chocolate pudding.

You made it?

Well, I made it to Zabar's
before they closed.

Oh, sweetie,

you have no idea how your disapproving
of the wedding upsets Maggie.

I mean, can you imagine
how upset I would be

if my parents disapproved
of me marrying you?

I mean, in a world gone mad.

Yes, but it just
doesn't seem right to me.

I mean, she's not ready.

Well, it seems right to her.

And if you would just stop yelling
at her and try listening to her,

I think that you would know
what it feels like.

I can't, I can't talk to her.

She'll just look at me with those eyes of
hers, and I can't refuse her anything.

Honey,

that's exactly
what we're counting on.

Oh, hi, honey.
Look who's out here.

Sweetie, why don't you sit down,
talk to your father,

and I'm going to
go check on dinner.

Gracie, how's it coming?

Daddy, I know you're upset...

But I don't think you really understand
how Michael and I feel about each other.

Sweetheart, how can you be sure?

You haven't known him
long enough.

Didn't you know the moment
you saw Fran?

Yes, but we both wanted to wait
the proper amount of time.

Fran wanted to wait?

Dad, why wait when you know?

I mean, it's like when you read

a script, and you just know
that it's going to be a hit?

I mean, except for when you passed on
"Cats," because that was kind of...

Yes, yes. All right,
no need to rehash.

Well, Daddy, can't you see
that Michael is my "Cats?"

Please, just don't let me
pass on this one.

You're really in love,
aren't you?

So much.

You know, I love you too, Daddy.

I love you, sweetheart.

And you're going to make
a beautiful bride.

Thank you for inviting me
to your wedding, Maggie.

Yetta, I'm...

Did you hear about Miss Babcock
and the male maid?

What are you talking about?

Well, Franny and her husband
walked in on them

when they were doing
the horizontal hora.

Where? Kitchen? Closet?
Stairway? Limo? Wal-mart?

Wal-mart, huh?

Well, if they dig
the danger of getting caught,

they should try the aluminum
sheds at Home Depot.

Oh, Fran, everything
looks so beautiful.

It's exactly how I pictured it.

Oh, sweetie, remember all those
times you'd come down these stairs

holding the flowers
from the foyer,

making believe you were a bride?

That was you, Fran.

Niles! They saw us.

No. No. No.

No, what does it matter where?

The important thing is,
when you get back,

I need to pick up something
at Home Depot.

( Doorbell rings )

Oh, honey, that's Michael. You can't
let him see you before the wedding.

It's bad luck.
Go put some makeup on.

- It's on.
- Well put some more on.

You're taking pictures
with my family.

You're going to disappear next to
the cast of Ringling Brothers.

Hi, sweetie.

Let me take your coat.
Come on in.

Hello.

Dad.

Hello.

Son who's taking
my daughter away.

I just want to let you know that
I love your daughter very much,

and I am going to take
such good care of her.

I'm sure you will.

I've always dreamt of having my
daughter marry an underpants model.

Mr. and Mrs. Brolin.

Yeah, it's my cousin, James.

James Brolin?

Oh, boy, if his wife's name is Barbra,
they can really have fun with that.

His wife's name is Barbra.

Oh, do they really
have fun with that?

I don't know.
They just got married.

In July?

Yeah.

- In Malibu, California?
- Yeah.

- Were her photos in "People"?
- Uh-huh.

- And they're coming here?
- In, like, 10 minutes!

They wanted to get here early,

because they have to leave early.
She's got a 9:00 flight.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my daughter is marrying a boy
whose cousin is married to Barbra.

My dreams are finally
coming true.

I'm going to be a Streisand.

Maxwell. Maxwell.

What, darling?

Barbra Streisand
is coming to my house, and,

- and...
- And what, darling?

I think I'm going into labor.

What? Oh, my God! Someone pack a suitcase!
Quick, it's time!

Sweetheart, we have
to get you to the hospital.

No! No, the pain is not that...

( grunts )

bad.

No, darling,
we are going to the hospital.

No! I don't want to go.
I don't want to go.

Come on. Come on.

I'll have them over here.

It'll be fine. Please.
Honey. Not today!

Barbra's married to Dr. Kiley from
"Marcus Welby." He'll know what to do!

All right, I got her makeup bag,

but someone else is going
to have to get her clothes.

Yetta, would you let everyone
know that Fran's doing just fine?

Doctor's in with her right now.
Turns out it was a false alarm.

Fran.

She's pregnant.

Yes, well of course
I'm the father.

Well, because I just know,
that's how.

Yetta, would you put someone
else on the phone, please?

Mrs. Sheffield, seems
you had some unusually

strong Braxton-Hicks
contractions.

Oh?

It's very common for women
over 35 under stress.

Have you been stressed
about anything recently?

You mean besides the fact
that you think I'm over 35?

Nothing to worry about.
You're in no danger.

But you do seem
a little agitated.

Yeah, well, you would be too

if Barbra Streisand was at your
house at this very moment,

and had to leave
in less than two hours.

Who?

Oh, my God.

Darling. Darling, what is it?

He does not know
who Barbra Streisand is.

Sweetheart,
I've just spoken to your mother.

And the guests are going
to enjoy their dinner,

but we're going to postpone
the ceremony until tomorrow.

But... what about Barbra?
What about Barbra?

She's enjoying herself
thoroughly. She's singing.

Barbra Streisand
is singing in my house?

Mrs. Sheffield, I'm sorry but you've
got to remain here overnight.

But you said
that I wasn't in any danger.

I want to play it safe. I'd prefer
it if you just stay off your feet.

You know, the doctor's
absolutely right, sweetheart.

What you need
is a calming environment.

What could be more calming than
Streisand singing "Evergreen?"

"Evergreen."

That's Barbra Streisand.

My uncle's her dentist
in California.

I've met her.

My God, it's six degrees
of aggravation.

Okay, he's gone. Get my dress-

Um, darling, darling.

No, no, no.
I want you in that bed.

You know, honey, if you said that
ordinarily, it would be a big turn on.

But right now,
get out of my way!

Sweetheart, you'll just have
to see Barbra another time.

Come on, you've
waited this long.

What you need right now is to stay
calm and not get overexcited.

But, honey...

No buts. I want you
to stay in that bed.

- But, Max, I...
- Do you understand me?

Yes.

And you know I'm right?

- Yes.
- Yes.

I'm sorry, honey. I know
that I'm acting childish.

I'll spend the night here
like they want me to.

And I'll be right here
by your side.

Sweetie, I love you.
You're such a good husband.

You're so busy taking care of me. Meanwhile
when was the last time you even ate?

Oh, I don't know. I had some
breakfast this morning...

Matter of fact,
I'm a little peckish.

Why don't I pop out and bring
us both back some dinner?

- Okay.
- What are you in the mood for?

Whatever you're in the mood for.

Well, I could go for a burger.

Really?
You couldn't go for Chinese?

I could go for Chinese.

You too?

I'll be right back.

Thank you.

I love you.

You're the best husband

in the whole wide world.

But I'm a person
who needs people.

And in about ten minutes,

I am going to be one of the
luckiest people in the world.

Hello, gorgeous!

Barbra? Barbra?

Barbra, can you hear me?

( Phone rings )

Hello. Hello.

- Max: Sweetheart?
- Oh. Oh, hi, honey.

Uh, are you mad at me
because I ran out?

Max: Not half as mad as you're
going to be with yourself.

Why?

Because when I called home,

I arranged
a little surprise for you.

♪ Even our piano in the parlor ♪

♪ Daddy bought
for 10 cents on the dollar ♪

♪ Everyone knows that
I'm just secondhand Rose ♪

♪ From... ♪

And do you, Maggie, take Michael to
be your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

Oh, Niles, I really wish
you could be here.

You should
see how beautiful Maggie looks.

Yes, everybody
is using the coasters.

Here's Miss Babcock.

Normally, at this point
in the ceremony,

I like to say a few words about the
couple embarking on their life.

But I think the sentiments
were best expressed by Barbra,

who just last night
stood right here, and sang,

"What are You Doing
the Rest of Your Life."

She sang that too?

I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

Oh, wasn't it beautiful, Ma?

Beautiful.

( Cries )

Is Barbra's voice
as flawless in person?

Well, actually it was a little
tired after singing the score

of "Funny Girl" and six new
songs from her next album.

I am so glad that I'm pregnant.

Why?

It's the only thing that's
keeping me from killing myself.

Oh, Val.

I am sitting on such a huge
secret for over a week now.

But I cannot tell a living soul.

Oy.

Good cake.

Val...

Good cake.

Niles and Miss Babcock
are having an affair!

( Gasps ) With who?

With each other.

I don't know.

( laughing )

Oh, God!

( Jazz music playing )