All language subtitles for The.nanny.S06E17.DVDRip.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

Fran:
Previously, on "The Nanny"...

Niles, listen to me,
I'm your friend and I love you.

Don't spend the rest
of your life wondering.

Carpe diem.

Miss Babcock.

Well, I've got to admit you
surprised me tonight.

You finally pulled off something
bigger than your shorts.

Oh, yeah? Well, you... you
look... you walk like a...

Marry me.

Miss Babcock? Miss Babcock,
are you in here?

C.C.: Oh, God.

So tell me, what did he say? What did you
say? I want to know all the details.

C.C.: Nanny Fine, I am involved...
in a private moment here.

Must you stand outside
the stall door?

Well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I don't mean to be rude.

I just want to know

what happened
with you and Niles.

C.C.: Would you leave me alone?

Why does everybody get so upset
when I do this?

- If you must know...
- Yeah?

I was just proposed to
by the most bloated, pathetic,

domestic excuse for a man.

So what did you say?

Well, it's always been a dream
of mine

to give up
my Park Avenue Penthouse,

and move into his room.

Oh, no, you turned him down
because he's not rich?

Miss Babcock, why do you always think
with your head. What does your heart say?

Don't marry a maid.

Well, what does your liver say?

Does that at least say 'can the
maid take me out for a drink?'

Nanny Fine, what is this
sudden interest in my

love-life? Did I interfere
with you and Maxwell?

Did I push you two together?

No, you tried to push me
in front of a bus.

Once, and I apologized.

I have to go find Yetta
and tell her about this.

Why? Why Yetta?

Because she forgets,

and I can tell her over
and over and over.

I cannot believe you are actually
enjoying seeing this man in pain.

I live for moments like this.

I mean, he exposed his deepest
feelings right out there in public

where I could crush him.

What would compel him
to do something like that?

I have no idea.

Oh, excuse me, sir,
but this is the ladies room.

Thank you very much for your advice. Do you
have any idea what a fool I made of myself?

Fran: Yeah, I heard.

But, you know, just for the record, I
told you to express your feelings.

I did. I asked
Miss Babcock to marry me.

Well, in the future, may I suggest
that before you propose to a woman,

you start calling
her by her first name?

I just want you to know that you
have ruined my entire life,

and I will never
forgive you for this.

Excuse me,

can you see if they
have this in a size six?

♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Till her boyfriend kicked her out
in one of those crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do, where was she
to go, she was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair, she was
there, that's how she became the Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids are actually
smiling such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl from Flushing,
the Nanny named Fran ♪

- Oh, darling.
- Oh, hi, sweetie.

Oh, sorry I'm late.

I got held up
by Niles this morning.

Yeah, seems
he's really quite upset.

Oh, poor Niles.
Yeah, I feel so bad for him.

I wish I could... did
he mention names?

No, no, he just kept repeating
how his life was over,

and he had nothing left
to live for.

Oh. You know, he's probably
just depressed

on account of our show going
from off Broadway to... off.

- I'm sure you're right.
- Yeah.

You know what
I thought it was, though?

( laughs ) What?

I thought it was because
he had proposed to C.C.

and been turned down because of
some big-haired woman's bad advice.

Who do you suppose
that could be?

Oh, all right. So I gave him
advice. He's my friend.

How would I know that he would... and
I thought you liked my big hair.

And don't change the subject.

Now what have I been saying
for the last six years, hmm?

Well, I can tell you what you
didn't say for the first five.

Don't get involved
in other people's lives.

That will... why do you have this
constant desire to interfere?

I have that obsessive-compulsive
thing. What's it called?

Yenta.

I didn't tell him to propose.

He's been moping around the house
lately, refusing to do any...

Hello!

Both: Hello!

Dr. Reynolds sends
her sincere apologies.

She's attending the female
gynecologist convention.

- Oh.
- Women on Women.

I'm Margot.

- Hi.
- Dr. Reynolds' sister.

Oh, two women doctors
in one family.

My father has a couple of sisters on his
side that both make dried apple people.

Well, it seems like all
of your blood levels are normal,

and everything is going right
according to schedule.

You know, my husband's mad.
I could use a little sympathy.

Can't you find one little thing
wrong with me?

Well, your hair is a little big.

Fran, we recommend all first-time
mommies carrying twins

get a little taste
of what it's going to be like.

So let me introduce you to...

baby Frank and baby Karen.

Oh...

What are we supposed
to do with these?

Use them for practice.

Oh.

They're programmed
to cry and wet their diapers.

- Mm-hmm.
- Just like real babies.

Oh, I think this one
just spat up on my jacket.

See, they do everything real babies do.
They're very expensive.

So was the jacket.

Now, here is their schedule, and you must
follow it as if they were your children.

Oh, now, we don't have
to follow this verbatim, do we?

I mean, for instance, look here.
Tomorrow night we have plans,

so... we can just leave them and
pick them up the next night, right?

Sure, if you want to come
home and find them dead.

Uh, Niles, do you mind if I talk to
you about something for a second?

What? You want me to propose to
Miss Babcock on "Jerry Springer"

so she can say no
and beat me to a pulp?

No, I promised my husband that I would no
longer interfere in your personal affairs.

There will be no more advice
passing through these lips.

Hit it.

- Niles.
- Yes, Miss Babcock.

Do you want to know where you went
wrong with me the other night?

Will you marry me?

See, that was your mistake, butler boy.
You can't rush into these sort of things.

Who do you think I am?
The impetuous, sexy friend?

You're a small man. Start small.
Ask me out to dinner first.

Oh, what a fool I've been.

So what you're saying is,

I should go slow and ask
Miss Babcock out to dinner?

How you interpret the play
is entirely up to you.

Thank you.

You know, you were very good.

- Oh, really?
- Yes.

I think you should dust
the entire house.

Fran, Miss Babcock hates Niles.

Why do you think she'd
go out to dinner with him?

Oh, sweetie,
give me a little credit.

You think I'd go through
all the trouble of

writing this play if I
wasn't sure she'd say yes?

No.

Please, please, please
go out to dinner with Niles.

( Baby crying )

Oh, Karen, please, I'm trying
to talk to Miss Babcock.

Let me hold her.

Okay.

( Baby crying )

Wow, you're really good
with kids.

Oh.

You know, God forbid I'm
ever in the hospital

on life-support.
Don't come visit me.

Come on, Miss Babcock, it's
just one little bitty dinner.

What's it going to hurt you?

Nanny Fine, this is none
of your business.

My love life involves me
and me alone.

Well, if you enjoy that, wait
till you add another person.

I want a man who makes
my heart pound.

Someone who sweeps
me off my feet.

You're halfway there.
You got a guy that sweeps.

( Sighs ) Give me one good reason I
should go to dinner with that man.

Oh, haven't you ever done anything
just because it's a nice thing to do?

Come on. Come on.
I know you have.

Well, once I gave
a panhandler directions.

There you go.

I told him to go to hell.

( laughs )

Val, you should have seen Niles.
He was so cute. All dressed up.

He even brought a corsage
for Miss Babcock.

Sort of reminded me of the night
that I took you to the prom.

Yeah, you looked lovely, Val.

I'll tell you, I'm so nervous I can't wait
for him to come home so I can ask him...

Uh, what his sponge-cake
recipe is. Gotta go, bye, Val.

Darling, do you... do you have any
idea why Niles is all dressed up

and asked to borrow
my Paco Rabanne?

Don't know, not involved.
Want to make love?

Come on. Come here, you.

( Baby crying )

Oh, honey, would you go?
I'm exhausted.

Darling, I am not getting out of bed
to take care of a couple of dolls!

Well, what if they were
our real babies?

Then I'd get them.

So what are you saying?

You're not going to get up and help
them just because they're dolls?

Yes.

I wish you were more
wrong right now.

Okay, okay.

( Crying stops )

( giggles )

( baby crying )

Oh, I'll tell you,
that Karen is so hyper.

I'm removing her Energizer.

Darling, darling, let me give you
some advice. I've had children,

and you cannot go to
them every time they

cry. You have to learn
which one's important,

and what cry means what.

Well, this cry means mommy can't make
love because she's too distracted.

That's an important one.

Thank you, sweetie.

All right, all right.
Daddy's coming. Daddy's coming.

Oh, and honey?

Don't be concerned about the
little rash on Frankie's tushie,

I just kept him too close
to the toaster oven.

Honey? Honey, did you hear me?

Frankie's tushie is... oh.

Thank you, once again, this was the
worst night of my entire life.

What could be worse than the other night,
when you proposed to her and she said no?

Tonight, when I proposed
to her and she said no.

You proposed to her again? Did
you learn nothing from my play?

Oh, I knew that Brighton
wasn't conveying

the right pathos.

I just don't understand what went wrong.
We were getting along so well,

we ordered our chicken piccata, she said,
"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse,"

and I said nothing.

You said: "Will you marry me?" And she
probably laughed in your face again.

She did not laugh in my face.

She said, "Stop asking me, I won't
marry you, I don't like you",

"and call the waiter, my breasts are
dry," and still I said nothing.

I can tell you this much.

I can no longer stay under the same roof
as that woman. It's just too humiliating.

Now, I tried
to take your advice.

I tried to do what you said to
do, and it just didn't work.

So now I am going
to have to quit.

Quit!

Sweetie, I'm in the mood
to make love now.

Oh, Fran, these dolls
bring back such memories.

Yeah.

Remember when I had a doll like this,
and how much you loved playing with it?

- Mm-hmm.
- Then one day it just disappeared.

And then you got one exactly
like it the next day, and...

I was so jealous.

Remember?

Uh...

vaguely.

Oh, Val, I can't believe Maxwell
is so furious with me.

I mean, this is not
the worst thing I've

ever done. Why is he so
mad at me this time?

Because he found out
about this one.

That made all the difference.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, sweetie.

Oh, look at this.

Brings back memories
of motherhood.

Oh, ma, what did you do when me
and Nadine started to cry?

I left the room.
The sound was so annoying.

Fran, I hope it's okay. Niles
wants to borrow your suitcase.

All right.

Oh, my God,

that looks just like the luggage
my mother loaned you, Sylvia.

Remember when you went to Puerto
Vallarta and the airport lost it?

Uh... vaguely.

Oh, Val, how am I going
to get Niles to stay on?

My husband told me I have to butt out
but I can't butt out until I butt in.

It's a whole
hokey-pokey syndrome.

Fran, maybe you should talk to Miss
Babcock. She's got to have some feelings.

You guys! Listen to this.

C.C.: I'll have chicken piccata.

Niles: Will you marry me?

You know what the great thing is? These
little tapes fit on my answering machine.

Oh, I am never going to convince
her not to humiliate Niles.

Well, if you're going to try, now's your
chance. She's in a really good mood.

Oh, Miss Babcock, please,
please, apologize to Niles

and promise him that you won't bring
it up again or rub it in his face?

Um... no.

Nanny Fine, do you remember when I told
you that I was waiting for that magic?

For something that just
makes my heart pound?

- Yes?
- Well, I've got it right here.

So you might as well just
save your breath, sister,

because I am going to milk this
for everything it's worth.

Uh, C.C. there you are. Niles!

Now, look here, C.C.,
I refuse to let Niles quit

because of this ridiculous nonsense
going on between the two of you,

do you understand?
Now I want you to talk to him,

I want you to tell him
you're not going to rub it

- in his face, and fix it.
- Okay.

Oh, God.

Niles, get back down here now.

Niles, I'm sorry
this whole thing happened.

Let's just put
the past in the past.

So you proposed
to me four times.

- Four?
- Four?

Forget it.
I've been humiliated enough.

C.C., C.C.!

Niles, I'm trying to say something nice.
Help me, Nanny Fine.

What she's trying to say is that she
knows she'd be darn lucky to have you,

but she's a lesbian.

I am not!

Look, what happened, happened,

but it's just
between the four of us.

Nobody else ever has to know. I promise
I will never tell another soul.

Niles: Will you marry me?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I pressed it by accident.

That's it. I am out of here. She
is never going to let this go.

An elephant never forgets.

Oh, please, you used that pathetic
line on me three years ago.

See?

Maxwell, I cannot do this.

Niles, I am sorry you're quitting, but I'm
sure you have a career to fall back on.

You know, in case this dream
didn't pan out.

Well, whatever I have
to fall back on isn't

half as big as what you
have to fall back on.

I don't think
this is going very well.

No. No, honey,

this is going great. This is their
natural habitat. We're the strangers.

Just don't use the flash.

It startles them.
They could charge.

Me marry you? Please.

You are a pathetic excuse
for a man.

Ditto.

But at least I know
when it's time to move on.

You are going
to spend the rest of your life

pining for a man
who doesn't love you,

and who's married
a woman half your age.

Oh, Niles, please don't go.

Look around you. They're married.
They're starting a family.

Where are you going
to be 10, 20, years from now?

You're going to be saying "Merry
Christmas," to your friends in rehab,

and wondering what might
have been.

I'll be leaving first
thing in the morning, sir.

My God, he's right.

The best years
of my life are gone.

And they sucked.

I have always stayed
too long at the fair.

Well, not this time.

I have to move on.

Maxwell, my resignation will be
on your desk in the morning.

You see what happens
when you interfere?

They're in here, aren't they?

No.

( Baby crying )

Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. It's just
that they were upset about Niles.

You know, they sense things.

They're rubber, and their butts
are stamped, "Made in Taiwan."

What can they sense?

That their daddy
doesn't love them.

Me? You're the one who almost
melted Frankie on the toaster oven.

I was trying to make you
a pita pocket. I need Niles.

Darling, I know he's
your best friend.

I know how you feel about him.

And I know it must be hard
for you to see Miss Babcock go,

seeing as you both were
romantically involved.

We were not.

Just checking.

I don't know. Maybe this is the
best thing for both of them.

I mean, you and I, we made
a huge change in our life.

Maybe they deserve
to do the same.

Oh, I know you're right.
I'm being selfish.

I mean, there are so many things a
man like Niles can do out there.

Can you think of any?

C.C. will be all right.

I mean, she could find a position
in any organization that needs a...

a, ah...

We have to stop them!

The first thing that
we're gonna do

is tell Niles how much
we love and value him!

And then we're going to
let him know

that he is an important member
of our family.

What floor is his room on?
The first or the second?

Oh, I'll follow you,
I'll follow you.

You know,

he's a very heavy sleeper. Sometimes
3:00, 4:00 in the morning,

I'll ring him up for
a diet soda. I get no answer.

Coochie, coochie, coo!

Hi, Yetta.

Hello.

You want me to make you
something to eat?

You cook?

( Jazz music playing )