All language subtitles for The.nanny.S06E14.DVDRip.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

Oh, Niles, can you believe this?

I am married,

I have twins on the way,
a beautiful family.

How could life get any better?

Yeah, life's a cabaret.

Well, I have some exciting news!

Let me guess. It's for her.

Darling, you remember
that play I did last summer?

You mean the one where
the critics said, "And

this is what he left
"Chicago Hope" for?

Yes, well, anyway,

Columbia has decided to auction
that dreadful thing for a film.

Oh, honey, you are so talented!

Leave it to you to take a piece of
trash and turn it into a movie.

No, actually they do this sort of
thing in Hollywood all the time.

If the deal goes through and I start
producing, we are moving to Beverly Hills.

Oh, sweetie! Beverly Hills!

With your smarts and my style,

we could be the next
Aaron and Candy Spelling!

You know, Maxwell, when we head out
this weekend to close the deal,

maybe we should hang out
for a few days.

Just scope things out,
stay at the beach.

Five words. Over my dead body...

missy.

Darling, she meant all of us.
Didn't you, C.C.?

No, I booked a romantic weekend
for me and a married man

at the Malibu Inn room 308
with the Jacuzzi.

( laughs )

Of course I meant all of us.

- When are we leaving?
- Tomorrow morning.

I've actually set up some appointments
for you to look at houses

to rent while we're out there.

Wow!

The children are so excited
to be going.

Wow.

Who is not going to be excited about
our family going to California?

Hello.

Oh, my God, Ma!

Oh, I'm going to have to tell her.
This is going to kill her.

Oh, don't worry, darling, we'll...
we'll tell her together.

Oh, thank you, sweetie,
you're so wonderful.

( Clears throat )

Come in, Sylvia.

Your daughter and I have something
very important to tell you.

♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Till her boyfriend kicked her out
in one of those crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do, where was she
to go, she was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell makeup,
but the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair, she was
there, that's how she became the Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids are actually
smiling such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl from Flushing,
the Nanny named Fran. ♪

Darling. Darling.

Darling, we... we have something
to say to your mother together.

I know, I know. Ma,

Max and I
want to talk to you about... Max!

Copy-cat.

Here's the deal.

You know how you're always
bragging about your son-in-law?

The big Broadway producer?

Well, soon you're going to be able
to brag about your son-in-law,

the big movie producer!

Because we're all moving to California,
and I'm going to be 3,000 miles away.

( laughter )

What do you think would happen

if I wore
a push-up bra with this?

I think you'd suffocate.

Ma, did you hear me?

This isn't like the time when
I threatened to run away

and become a Roadie
for Peaches & Herbs.

We're really moving.

How do you think I would look
if I lost the bra altogether?

( laughter )

Like daddy at the beach.

Ma, I'm serious. We're going
to be leaving the state.

Darling, I understand.
You're a grown woman now.

You have your life.
I just want you to be happy.

Does my makeup
look natural to you?

Yeah.

Then I need more. Love you.

So? So how did she take it?

Oh, it was unbelievable.
I mean, I was expecting...

( crying )

That!

I don't want to move
to California. It's a desert.

Do you have any idea how much
dust collects in a desert?

And it's hot, which means she's going
to be walking around in shorts.

Oh, yeah? Like the hot Californian
sun bouncing off your pink thighs

is going to get you cast
in "Dawson's Creek."

Oh, Niles, can you believe this?

We are shopping for a
house in Beverly Hills!

I wonder who our neighbors
are going to be.

Well, not everyone
in Beverly Hills is a celebrity.

I mean, it's not all
swimming pools and movie stars.

Well, howdy.

Niles, this is Elly May.

Hi, I'm Fran,
the realtor sent us.

Oh! Come on in and sit a spell.

Well, here's the living room.

And out there's the cement pond.

Oh, your home is so gorgeous.
Oh, by the way, this is Niles.

Niles,
this is Elly May Clampett.

Donna Douglas.

Oh, forgive me.

Oh, it must be so annoying
to you when people

always confuse you
with your characters.

Uh-huh.

So, have you seen much
of Jethro?

Have you noticed
these high-vaulted ceilings.

Why you know,
they're spectacular.

And the previous owner,
he added this here skylight.

You know, it's a nice effect.

Did he also pre-pay
the trapeze lessons

for the butler who's going to have to
learn how to fly so he can clean it?

He sure is a bitter fella,
ain't he?

Oh, my God, it's the
ToneTec 2000 Intercom System.

With the voice-activated,
hypersensitive speakers.

Darn, this baby picks up
sign-language!

Ooh, I love L.A.

Let's sit down.

Oh, I cannot believe
I am sitting with Elly May!

I mean Donna, sorry.

I'll tell you, my mother and I used to
watch your show all the time together.

We just loved it.

Well, that's so sweet.

Are you and your mama close?

Like two hogs in a... oh,
I can't do this.

We're close.

Oh, she lives out here too?

No, no, actually she lives
in New York.

Well, her heart must be broken,
you're moving so far away.

No, actually, she said
that she's fine with it.

And she said that I'm a big girl and
it's time for me to live my own life.

You fell for that?
Oy, vey.

( laughter )

Clampett's a Jewish name?

Granny covered up her feelings
the same way your ma did

when we loaded up the truck
and moved to Beverly.

She said she was staying behind
and she was happy for us,

but inside
it was just killing her.

Oh, my God, have I been blind.

Of course
that's what ma is doing.

Oh, if I move here, it's just
going to break her heart.

Oh, well, you know, sugar,
my critters have got a saying,

a mother can have
1,000 daughters,

but 1,000 daughters
only have one mother.

A critter said that?

I tell you, Maxwell. Your play?

Impressive.

Oh. So you saw it.

No.

- Read it?
- No, no.

But I've got some great ideas
for the rewrite.

Nothing big.

We'll turn it into a sitcom.

Why?

Because I like funny.

Uh, Mr. Sherry,
my play is an allegory

dealing with early man's
struggle to survive.

So was "The Flintstones."

You... you see, Maury,

I am a man of the theater, and there
is such a thing as artistic integrity.

And I can't sign this.
Or I'd have an obligation to...

You can make more money
in one season of a

sitcom than you can in a
10-year run of "Cats."

Do you have a pen?

You're doing the right thing,
Maxwell.

Let me tell you, a lot of people
are frightened of success.

They're afraid of that
little voice in their heads.

Fran: Honey, don't sign,
we can't move here!

Sorry, Mr. Sherry.

She snuck off the tour bus.

And if you ask me, $28 is a lot of money to
charge to see Wheezy's old dressing room.

What are you doing here?

Uh, Maury, I'm so sorry.
This is my wife.

How do you do, Mr. Sherry?

Hi. Oh, what a gorgeous head
of hair you got there.

Tell me, does it turn yellow
in the California sun?

Honey, we can't move here. Ma doesn't want
us to be so far away from her, and frankly,

I don't want to be away
from her either. I want

her to be a part of our
twins' growing up.

Darling, I understand. Believe me, I do,
but this is a terrific opportunity.

Now if I could find some way around
this situation with your mother,

of course I'd take it, but...

Listen, Sheffield?

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

But here's what you should do.

You bring your mother-in-law
out here to live with you.

Oh, Mr. Sherry,
that is a fabulous idea!

Maxwell, I see
your reflection in the glass!

Oh, all right, sweetheart, all right.
If it'll make you happy,

of course we'll bring
your mother out here.

Oh, thank you, sweetie,
I love you so much.

You know, Maury, since you
like funny,

I've got a little pitch-arino,
just between us.

Cops.

Funny cops.

But here's the twist.

The cell where they hold the
criminals is in the squad-room.

Sucks.

Fran, the guesthouse is like one
big room with a giant kitchen.

Are you sure that your mom's going
to like living in a place like that?

What? Shangri-La?

What's the matter, B?

Well, I can't believe we have to leave
New York just as I get a girlfriend.

Honey, you'll fold her up,
put her in your suitcase,

and take her on the plane
with you.

Well, that's a good idea.

Fran, how would you feel if I
didn't move to California with you?

You know, honey,
the critters have a saying.

Do you want to put
a knife through my heart?

They're minks, Jewish critters.

( Doorbell rings )

Oh, hi, Ma.

Hi, darling, what did you
want to talk to me about?

Well, I've got some
thrilling news for you.

- Oh?
- We're not going to have

to be separated. Your heart
is not going to be broken.

What would you say if I told you

that Maxwell and I
rented a house at Beverly Hills

and you and daddy
are moving with us!

No, thanks.

Ma, it's okay. You can drop the act.
I know that you've been covering up.

That you feel like you're
heart's going to be broken

because you're not going to be with me
and you really want to move with us.

No, I don't.

Ma, enough already. You're moving to
California so your heart won't be broken,

and you'll be near
your darn daughter.

Darling, I can't move to California.
You have your life, I have mine.

What?

You shouldn't revolve
your life around me.

You know, I'm not going
to be around forever.

But you'll be three doors down
from Rue McClanahan!

Life shouldn't revolve
around her?

She won't be around forever?
What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, my God!

Oh, there's something wrong
with my mother!

Oh, Val, I'm so glad that
you're here. I'm going crazy.

You're going crazy?

I've been here since
noon, I've had three

cups of coffee, I'm ready
to burst, and look.

Has ma been here?

What would your mother be doing
at Krispy Kreme?

Wait, even I knew
that was a stupid question.

I need to talk to her,
and I can't find her anywhere.

I went to the Carnegie Deli. She's
not there. I went to Pizza Hut.

She's not there. And you know
she's banned from the Sizzler,

ever since she had them
cater her last dinner party.

They don't cater.

Well, they do if you carry
an extra-large shopping bag.

( laughter )

Fran, what's the matter?

I'm really worried.

She told me I had to get used
to her not being around.

You know what that means,
don't you?

Oh, Fran. It doesn't mean anything. My
grandmother said the same thing to me.

She died, Val.

Yeah, but she said it
before she died.

Well, I really
gotta talk to her.

This is really driving me nuts.
I'm going to... call my father.

Yeah.

Maybe he knows where she is.

Hi, daddy, it's... hello?

Hello? Hi? Hello? Hi? Hi, dad.

Hi. Fran. Fran! Yeah.

Where is mommy? Do you know?

Oh, the beauty parlor.
Okay. Thank you.

I love you too. Love you too!

Aren't these amazing?

Bonsoir.

Today?

It's not going to happen.

Hi, I'm Fran Sheffield...

Yeah, yeah, I know who you are.
We keep your

wedding picture up here
for advertisement.

But I didn't get my hair
done here for my wedding.

So? No one else knows that.

( laughter )

Your mother said we could use it
if we comp all her bikini waxing.

Who's sorry now, huh?

Meanwhile, I've got to talk
to her. Where is she?

Sylvia don't have
an appointment here today.

But she told my father
that she did.

Well then she's a big, fat liar.

( laughter )

I would go
check out Mt. Cyanide.

The hospital?

Yeah, she goes there every Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, 4:00, 5th floor.

And she carries that imitation Prada
bag and she thinks no one can tell.

But I know.

Oh, I don't believe this. Why
would ma be going to a hospital?

I don't know.
What am I, a Yenta?

It can't be true. It can't be
true! You must be mistaken!

Maybe she's in the back
getting a pedicure.

Trust me, she's not here. Those
are feet one doesn't forget.

( Phone rings )

Chatterbox, how are you doing?

Today?
It's not going to happen.

Oh, Ma, you're here.

Sorry, Fran, just me.
Still no luck?

Oh, I have looked
everywhere for her.

Look how weird
her chair is empty.

I don't think
I've ever seen the seat.

And all that's left is the imprint
of when she was 40 lbs. heavier.

Sweetheart, where have you been?

Oh, I've been looking all over for ma. And
you know what? Libby, from the Chatterbox?

She said that ma's been seeing
a doctor three times a week.

Oh, honey, I think there might be
something seriously wrong with her.

Darling, darling, I hardly think

you should be taking the word of a girl who
answers the phones at a beauty parlor.

Oh, I don't know.

Libby is usually pretty
right-on about this stuff.

And why are you
auctioning your play

for $275,000 when you know
you could have held out

for $300,000?

How the heck did you know that?

Oh, God, Libby?

Oh, what are we going to do?

( Knock on door )

Oh, my God,
that's ma, that's ma!

I don't want her to know I know.
I don't want her to get upset.

- You get the door.
- Yes.

Sylvia, come on in.
Um... we were just...

What's with her?

( Sobbing )

Your hair looks pretty.

Darling, what's the matter?

Oh, Ma,

I can't believe
you didn't say anything.

How can you go through
this all by yourself?

Why didn't you tell
me if you were sick?

Sick? I'm not sick.

It's all right, Sylvia.
Libby told us.

We know you're seeing a doctor.

And if you're not sick,

then why would you be going to this
guy's office three times a week?

( laughter )

What's that look
on your face about?

Ma...

what are you saying?

Are you telling me

that you're having an affair?

Oh, my God! How could you just
go and blurt that out like that?

I'm sorry, but I do not want
to discuss this.

Well, if you don't want
to discuss this, too bad!

Is there a fight?
Did we miss anything?

What's going on? When the two of them talk
at the same time, the intercom shorts out.

Fran's having a rather delicate
conversation with her mother.

I think it best we just stay out
of their way till they're done.

Get away from me.
Leave me alone.

No, I'd say they're done.

Ma, please. Ever since you lost the weight,
she's like the Flash. Now I want an answer.

Are you having an affair?

( Clamoring )

Since when are you my keeper?

Since I heard you're being kept.
Ma, doesn't

this ring on your
finger mean anything?

What ring
is that on your finger?

QVC. It's a ring-slash-pillbox.
Now leave me alone.

Ma...

What are you?
Stop giving me the third degree.

Who do you think you are?

I'm your daughter,
that's who I think I am!

Just because
I have the figure of a teenager,

doesn't mean I'm not a mature woman
who's entitled to her privacy.

Now, nothing is going on.

If your father calls,

tell him I took the little girl
brassiere shopping.

Is this unbelievable or what?

You're telling me
she's having sex and I'm not?

You'll all come back now,
you hear?

( Jazz music playing )