All language subtitles for The.nanny.S05E12.DVDRip.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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( Music )

Ah, happy new year, Isaac.

Thank you, Mr. Sheffield.

Oh, Maxwell, look at the poster
I had made to convince Margo

to join our show,
"Marie Antoinette."

Now, when she gets here,
I don't want any screw ups.

( Sniffs )

What are you doing?

I'm sniffing for Alberto VO5, Top Raman
and anything that reeks of Nanny Fine.

( laughter )

I told you,
she's out of the house.

Okay, okay.

Look, I had them paint
on Margo's trademark mole.

Isn't it amazing how one bodily
imperfection can make someone famous.

Then you should be
known worldwide.

( laughter )

Maxwell, have you noticed how calm the
house is without Nanny Fine here?

No one to get in the way,
make a scene,

( laughter )

No idiotic stunts
just to meet a movie star.

( laughter )

Miss Lange, sir.

( Clapping )

Maxwell.

Margo.

You've met my associate
C.C. Babcock?

Oh, yes, we lunched at Spago,
I adored her. Is she here?

( laughter )

That's me, Margo.

Oh.

Now about my co-star.

I was thinking about that delicious
Lopez boy from Saved By The Bell.

What, is he, 18?
Next to him you'll look...

less French.

( laughter )

Maxwell, darling, do something.
Your gardener is gawking at me.

( laughter )

Um, would you...
Would you excuse me a minute,

there's a wandering Jew on the
terrace that needs transplanting.

( laughter )

Max: Are you insane what
are you doing out here?

( laughter )

( arguing )

Max:
Don't you push me.

( Arguing )

- Well, hello, Miss Margo L...
- Miss Fine!

What?

( Screaming )

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,
I'm sorry. Oh.

Oh my Gosh, Miss Lang,
your famous mole?

- Where is it?
- What?

Here it is.

( laughter )

♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
in one of those crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do, where was she
to go She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make up
but the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair, she was
there, That's how she became the Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed ♪

♪ The father finds
her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ The kids are
actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl from Flushing,
the Nanny named Fran. ♪

T.V.: This is Cindy
Adams from New York

and have I got dirt for you.

A certain Park Avenue butler
signed a $3 million book deal,

and here's how he did it.

Max:
Miss Fine?

( laughter )

( laughter )

Would you excuse us, please?

I would like a word alone
with 'Earnest'.

You had to meet her in person.

My telephoto lens
and parabolic dish

weren't good enough for you.

( laughter )

( laughter )

I'm not gonna yell.
I'm not gonna scream.

I just want to have a conversation
like rational mature adults.

With me?

( laughter )

Now, we both know
what the most important thing

in a relationship is, don't we?

Forgiveness?

( laughter )

No, trust. Trust
is the most important thing!

Do you realize Margo Lange has one of the
most recognizable faces in the world

because of that mole?

Can you imagine what would happen
if word got out it were fake?

Well, excuse me, but are you implying
that I cannot keep this thing a secret?

Oh, come on, Miss Fine, the only
secret safe with you is your age.

( laughter )

Barry Scheck and a whole drum of sodium
pentothal couldn't drag that out.

( laughter )

Look I find it very hurtful

that you think that I have nothing
better to do than to pass idle gossip.

Who cares if her fakakta
mole is a fake? Big deal.

( laughter )

I was just trying to lighten up
the conversation.

I know you tend to get nervous when
you have to go to the doctors.

I'm not scared
of the examination.

I'm not talking about
getting weighed.

( laughter )

Now, did you write down
all the stuff you ate

yesterday like the doctor asked you to?
Let me see.

( laughter )

( laughter )

Hm. Ma, you did really well,
I'm proud of you.

( laughter )

Hm. Look at this, Oprah
gained back all her weight.

Oh, that poor girl.

Oh, 1989.

( laughter )

Well, look who's on that cover?

Again with her?

So Margo Lange's
mole is fake. Who cares?

- Ma?
- Who's gonna hear? Liz Smith?

( laughter )

Meanwhile, I had six
moles taken off my back.

You didn't care. You
didn't even send a card.

( laughter )

Excuse me, do you mind
if I sit here, there's a draft.

No, not at all. Meanwhile, you smell
delicious, what have you got on?

Thank you, it's called Gossip,
take mine.

That's very nice of you. Thanks.

Don't get too chummy. You're in a doctor's
office. You never know what somebody's got.

( laughter )

So tell me, what do you do, a gorgeous
gal like you? Act, model, what?

I'm just a housewife.

( laughter )

Sylvia, Dr. Hersh
is ready for you.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi, Fran.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi, I hope you're doing okay.

Nice to see you again.

Who is that young lady?
She looks so familiar to me.

You know, Maxwell Sheffield,
Broadway producer?

That's his nanny.
Can you believe,

five years she's working
for him, still hasn't proposed.

Ah, cancel my appointment.

It's Cindy. Scrap my segment.

I'm re-shooting
and I want it on tonight.

Oh, you bet it's big, ah!

Well, the thing is, Ma
absolutely has to lose weight,

so we can't keep food
in the house anymore.

Help me scoff
back some of this Godiva.

( laughter )

Fran, you can't control what your
mother eats, she doesn't live here.

When did she move out?

( laughter )

I'm so glad that
I don't have a weight problem.

I can eat anything I want.
Pizza, ice-cream...

You know, me too. Candy, cake.

Must be in our genes.

Meanwhile, when Ma was your ages,
she was thinner than both of you.

( laughter )

Maxwell! Maxwell!

The gossip channel's gonna put
on our Marie Antoinette musical.

Oh, mazel tov.

Now, Margo is still willing
to do it despite the incident.

( laughter )

We just have
to keep her real happy.

In Los Angeles, Rob McCorvey,
and in New York, Cindy Adams.

Who's that?

Cindy Adams, the columnist.

- I know her...
- Shhh...

( laughter )

Big news from the Great
White Way involving the latest

from too-handsome-for-words
producer Maxwell Sheffield.

She's the only columnist
I respect.

( laughter )

Starring in his next outing

is none other than the queen of
the beauty marks, Margo Lange.

Huh? Oh now I know
where I know her from...

( laughter )

Well, kiddies, I've got a
little outing of my own to do.

The mole is fake!

( laughter )

And this comes straight from
Maxwell Sheffield's nanny.

Miss Fine!

( laughter )

Freeze!

( laughter )

Do you hate me?
Is that what it is?

Are you trying to get back at me for
backpedaling in our relationship?

Is that what this is all about?

No, no, no.
This is a personality disorder.

Yeah, it's, like,

you know, when you watch your mother fry
up your Mr. Potato Head, it scars you.

( laughter )

You know,

you're my kryptonite.
That's what you are.

You're the only thing that
can hurt me. Not the critics,

not the actors' union,
not the bloody IRS.

Kryptonite, the stuff
that could hurt Superman.

Who the hell cares what it is?

( laughter )

( sighs )

I'm sorry, Mr. Sheffield. I was
just telling Ma in confidence.

I mean, who knew that
Cindy Adams was the one

that would give me this perfume:
Gossip, by Cindy Adams.

( laughter )

Miss Fine, you remember
our conversation about trust?

Yeah, what?

Well, you realize,

you and I cannot have a
relationship if I can't trust you.

And,

now it seems fairly obvious

I can't.

Meanwhile, I have never seen
Mr. Sheffield so upset.

It is dead serious.
He hates me. He reviles me.

I wouldn't be surprised
if he never talked to me again.

All this is gonna set
the engagement way back.

( laughter )

Has anyone noticed
how I haven't touched the cake?

Yeah, M a, you're doing really
good. I'm so proud of you.

Meanwhile, Val, did you taste
these double chocolate brownies

stuffed with cheesecake centers?

( laughter )

Please, I'm still working
on this cannoli. It's got chips.

Let me taste.

Mm.

Let me have a knife?

Why, Ma, you're not going
to cheat are you?

For my wrists.

( laughter )

You know, Sylvia,
my mother joined a diet centre,

and she has lost 120 pounds.

Another fifty and she can start
sleeping upstairs again.

( laughter )

What are you digging for, Ma?

I'm making sure
I remembered my phone.

Sammy's calling me from Florida
and I don't want to miss him.

( laughter )

( clapping )

Oh, I just can't believe
what I did to poor Margo Lange.

There's gotta be a way I can help Mr.
Sheffield out of his jam.

Well, Fran, why don't you just
go to her and beg her for mercy.

You know, tell her what you did to
Elton John, and to Elizabeth Taylor?

( laughter )

And to Cher and to Bette Midler,
and to Lamb Chop.

Right.

( laughter )

Well, this would pale
by comparison, really.

( laughter )

Well, if no one is gonna have any more
of the cake, I'm gonna put it away.

No, that's good.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Ma, you're a right.
That's right.

Mm.

Stop her! Stop her! She's got the cake!
Stop her.

( laughter )

Sometimes I wonder
where those two nuts came from.

( Spoon sound )

Hello?

( laughter )

( doorbell rings )

Magda,

( in French ) Ouvrez la
porte, s'il vous plait.

( Doorbell rings )

Magda?

( In French )
La porte!

( Doorbell rings )

Margo, the dog walker's back.

( laughter )

Good boy, good boy.
Bad boy, bad boy.

( laughter )

Well, there's good news
and bad news.

The good news is Boo-boo did his business.
The bad news is he did it in there.

( laughter )

You, you assassin!

Oh, Miss Lange, I don't blame
you for being angry at me.

Where's that 45 automatic
Chuck Heston gave me.

( laughter )

Please, if you'll just give me
a minute of your time?

What? To finish me off? Okay.

Fake, fake, fake, fake, fake.

Now, get out.

Ooh, fake?

Real.

Oh, that's what fake,
fake will get ya.

Miss Lange,
please this is all my fault.

Don't take it out on
Mr. Sheffield and quit his play.

Do you honestly think I'm gonna
show my face on a Broadway stage?

I won't even leave
this apartment.

So what are you gonna do?
Live in exile?

Let the sun shine in.
This is yesterday's news.

Nobody cares about that.

( laughter )

Any-who,

you know, I have this great idea

that would just turn this whole
negative into a positive.

Oh, please, please, Miss Lange if you
just hear me out, I will do anything.

Fine, clean up after the puppy.

( laughter )

( laughter )

Oh, Mr. Sheffield, do I have
exciting news for you!

I know, I've just
got off the phone with Margo.

She's back in my show.
How on earth did you do it?

Oh, well, Margo swore me to secrecy. You
know one slip of the tongue can ruin it.

I cannot speak
to a living soul about it.

Wait, you, you, you're telling me you don't
trust me? I thought we have a relationship.

Oh, no, wait a minute,
let me get this straight.

We've got a relationship but only
when it's convenient for you?

( laughter )

I can live with that.

( laughter )

Let me tell ya, here it is.

We are going to market artificial
Margo Lange Beauty Marks

and sell it on the Internet!

He he he. Come on, come on.
You can tell me.

That's it.

And I thought of it
all by myself.

That I believe.

Stop it.

( Music )

Look at you with your big head
sitting around drooling.

Put a toupee on you,
you could be my father.

( laughter )

You know, Margo, I don't like kids any
more than you do but it's history.

Marie and Louis had two children.
We can't just get rid of them.

What a plague?
Weren't there plagues back then?

Ooh.

( laughter )

Hey, partner, I got some great
marketing ideas to run by you.

Marketing ideas? Didn't you read
this morning's Wall Street Journal?

No. But how funny was the Wizard
of Id this morning.

( laughter )

My dear, Cody came out with a fake
beauty mark. Someone stole our idea.

Oh no.

You mean there's a mole
in our mole organization?

( laughter )

Those are the breaks, darling.

Do you mean,

that's it?

All our hopes and dreams
just went down the drain?

Just yours.

I'm up for the role of Succubus
Queen on "Xena Warrior Princess."

( laughter )

Niles, where's Miss Fine?

She hasn't been
out of her room all day.

Poor thing's been
going out of her mind

trying to decide who blabbed
and sabotaged her dream.

- What's that?
- Soup.

- For whom?
- Miss Fine.

- Where'd you get it?
- I made it.

You blabbed, didn't you?

( laughter )

Oh, Niles,
but I was at the Friar's club

with Mel Brooks and Carl
Reiner. They're so bloody funny.

I was desperate
for an amusing anecdote.

Mm. So you're sitting
with the men who wrote

the classic 2,000-year-old
man routine,

and you tried to wow them
with the mole story?

( laughter )

Alright, alright, just drop it,
would you Niles?

What am I going to do about it?
This was her dream, Niles.

She was so excited
about this cosmetics business

and I went and ruined the whole
thing by opening my big mouth.

There's just no way
I can make this up to her.

Well, you could propose.

Oh, would you get serious,
Niles?

Just get off that track,
would you, and finally,

once in your life, come up with
something I could actually use?

Oh Mr. Sheffield,
I'm so miserable.

I keep trying to think

who, who would do this to me?

Marry me?

It was you!?

( laughter )

You blabbed, and you think by
proposing, it's gonna make up for it?

Well, you thought right, baby.

( laughter )

Oh, Niles wait'll you hear.

I heard.

( laughter )

Oh, talk about fate.

I mean, if I hadn't washed off
Margo Lange's mole,

we never would have
gone into business together,

Mr. Sheffield never would have
blabbed, and he never would have...

He never would...

What?

Oh, Niles.

Who am I kidding here?

I don't want a proposal
from a man out of guilt.

Oh, Gosh, 12 generations of
Fine women just rolled over.

( laughter )

Oh, that's no way for us
to start our lives together.

I don't understand, isn't this
what you've been working for?

It is, isn't it?

Oh, but I wanted him
to ask me because

he can't imagine
his life without me.

Because he really means it.

I kinda think I deserve that.

So... you're actually going
to let him out of it?

- Yeah, I am.
- Oh.

Oh boy, have I come a long way,
huh?

Mm.

There you are. Come on, Niles,

why don't you crack open a bottle of
Champagne. Let's, let's celebrate.

Mm. Oh, you mean
that proposal out there?

I didn't take that seriously.

I just wanted to see
if you'd sweat.

( laughter )

What?

Uh, you know, you should have seen the
look on your face when I said, 'Yes'.

It was just about as good as the look
on Ma's face when I told her I said no.

( laughter )

Why don't we just forget the
whole thing ever happened, huh?

Well, once again, you've managed
to get yourself out of it.

Yes, well,

only this time I'm not quite
sure I really wanted to.

Chloe, I'm so proud
of my little Sylvala.

You're doing so good
with your diet.

Yeah, Sylvia, I gotta say,
I'm impressed.

Thank you.

( Music )

( laughter )