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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Franny, read me my horoscope.
2
00:00:04,369 --> 00:00:07,205
Okay. Scorpio:
3
00:00:07,272 --> 00:00:09,707
tomorrow you will awaken...
4
00:00:09,775 --> 00:00:10,709
Woo-hoo!
5
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( laughter )
6
00:00:13,612 --> 00:00:16,198
What are you 'woo-hooing'?
I didn't say anything.
7
00:00:16,199 --> 00:00:18,949
I heard 'tomorrow' and 'awaken'.
I'm cool.
8
00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:21,185
( laughter )
9
00:00:21,253 --> 00:00:24,121
Ah, Fran,
my philosophy professor
10
00:00:24,189 --> 00:00:29,327
has so opened my eyes to realize
that my eyes may not even be open.
11
00:00:29,395 --> 00:00:30,835
- Wow.
- I mean,
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00:00:30,896 --> 00:00:34,165
I may not even have eyes.
I may not even exist.
13
00:00:34,232 --> 00:00:38,036
Now, well, according
to your father, neither do I.
14
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,738
( laughter )
15
00:00:40,806 --> 00:00:44,409
I mean, do you realize that
'red' may not even be 'red'?
16
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:46,944
I mean, 'blue'
may not even be 'blue'!
17
00:00:47,012 --> 00:00:50,181
Well, thank God that grey
can still become black
18
00:00:50,249 --> 00:00:53,184
according to my mentor,
Lady Clairol.
19
00:00:53,252 --> 00:00:54,252
Ha-ha-ha.
20
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,021
( laughter )
21
00:00:57,356 --> 00:00:59,324
You know what else, Steve says?
22
00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,993
You call your professor 'Steve'?
23
00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:04,262
Well, just over cappuccinos.
24
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,798
You're having cappuccinos
with 'Steve'?
25
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:11,402
Uh, you're talking too much, honey.
Daddy's getting nervous. Shutty-uppy.
26
00:01:11,470 --> 00:01:12,870
( laughter )
27
00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:15,039
Well, of course
I'm getting nervous.
28
00:01:15,107 --> 00:01:17,995
And older, distinguished man.
A young beautiful
29
00:01:18,007 --> 00:01:20,545
woman right under his
nose day after day?
30
00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:22,247
What do you think's
gonna happen?
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Well, according
to my experience: nothing!
32
00:01:25,184 --> 00:01:27,685
( laughter )
33
00:01:27,753 --> 00:01:29,342
Fran, I want you
to go down to that
34
00:01:29,354 --> 00:01:31,355
university and talk to
Margaret's professor.
35
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,125
He probably has nothing
but sex on the brain.
36
00:01:34,193 --> 00:01:35,560
I've had worse assignments.
37
00:01:35,661 --> 00:01:37,162
( laughter )
38
00:01:37,229 --> 00:01:38,930
I'm not joking.
39
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Oh, come on. Now, what's it gonna
look like if I go down there?
40
00:01:42,434 --> 00:01:44,369
I mean, the girl's 18 years old.
41
00:01:44,436 --> 00:01:46,003
I don't care if she's 35.
42
00:01:46,071 --> 00:01:47,873
Which isn't old, either.
43
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( laughter )
44
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You are her nanny.
Now, go, please.
45
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Alright.
46
00:01:54,146 --> 00:01:57,148
I'll go too and pick up
a little education
47
00:01:57,216 --> 00:01:58,583
No.
48
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,987
I can only keep Sammy happy
in the bedroom for so long.
49
00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:04,255
Sooner or later
he's gonna want to talk.
50
00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:05,790
( laughter )
51
00:02:08,694 --> 00:02:11,262
♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing, Queens ♪
52
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:14,665
♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
in one of those crushing scenes ♪
53
00:02:14,733 --> 00:02:19,603
♪ What was she to do, where was she
to go She was out on her fanny ♪
54
00:02:19,671 --> 00:02:22,240
♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪
55
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,343
♪ She was there to sell make up
but the father saw more ♪
56
00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:30,515
♪ She had style, she had flair, she was
there, That's how she became the Nanny ♪
57
00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:33,484
♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪
58
00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:35,653
♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪
59
00:02:35,721 --> 00:02:37,188
♪ The father finds
her beguiling ♪
60
00:02:37,256 --> 00:02:38,523
♪ Watch out C.C. ♪
61
00:02:38,590 --> 00:02:39,870
♪ The kids are
actually smiling ♪
62
00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:41,826
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
63
00:02:41,894 --> 00:02:46,798
♪ She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan ♪
64
00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:50,468
♪ The flashy girl from Flushing,
the Nanny named Fran. ♪
65
00:03:00,212 --> 00:03:03,781
Oh, I remember
when I went to school.
66
00:03:03,849 --> 00:03:07,319
I used to walk past
the daisy field carrying
67
00:03:07,386 --> 00:03:09,921
my little metal lunch pail.
68
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:12,357
Pa was chopping wood...
69
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:16,228
Yetta, Yetta. That's the opening
sequence to Little House On The Prairie.
70
00:03:16,295 --> 00:03:18,363
( laughter )
71
00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:22,100
Excuse me,
are you Professor Steve?
72
00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:24,803
( Applause )
73
00:03:27,372 --> 00:03:29,006
Hello.
74
00:03:29,074 --> 00:03:31,575
You ought to be ashamed
of yourself,
75
00:03:31,643 --> 00:03:36,080
a grown man taking advantage
of innocent young women.
76
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,017
Do you do any private tutoring?
77
00:03:40,085 --> 00:03:41,252
( laughter )
78
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,422
Yetta, Yetta,
go wait for me downstairs,
79
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:46,724
just don't lie down
anywhere near 'pre-med'.
80
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:49,527
( laughter )
81
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:53,464
Well, Professor Steve,
I'm here because Mr. Sheffield
82
00:03:53,532 --> 00:03:56,066
is very concerned
that you might be paying just
83
00:03:56,134 --> 00:03:59,421
a little too much
attention to his daughter.
84
00:03:59,422 --> 00:04:02,607
Oh, no, no, I give all of my
students special attention.
85
00:04:02,674 --> 00:04:06,411
Some of them just misinterpret it. Now look
at these notes that I've collected here.
86
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:09,147
"Dear Steve, I love you.
Ashley",
87
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,349
"I get lost in your eyes.
Karen",
88
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,652
"You look sexy
when you don't shave, Phillip".
89
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:15,953
( laughter )
90
00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:17,355
Oh...
91
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,891
Third row.
Bette Midler sweatshirt.
92
00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:25,263
Well, the point is you're not interested in
Maggie, and that's what I came to find out.
93
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,732
Now I feel like
I earned my six bucks an hour.
94
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,834
Oh, wow.
95
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:31,469
What?
96
00:04:31,536 --> 00:04:34,139
My horoscope said that I would
meet a beautiful brunette with
97
00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:36,574
big brown eyes
and an exotic accent.
98
00:04:36,641 --> 00:04:38,409
Get out of here.
99
00:04:38,477 --> 00:04:39,745
( laughter )
100
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,946
No, no, see I'm really
into astrology.
101
00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:43,080
Oh...
102
00:04:43,148 --> 00:04:44,782
What's the date
and time of your birth?
103
00:04:44,783 --> 00:04:47,018
Oh, 5 p.m., November 26.
104
00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:50,445
Yeah, Ma had them induce labor so she
wouldn't miss the Thanksgiving meal.
105
00:04:51,123 --> 00:04:52,389
Uh, what year?
106
00:04:52,457 --> 00:04:53,958
1970.
107
00:04:54,025 --> 00:04:55,226
( laughter )
108
00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:57,595
Oh, we are so compatible.
109
00:04:57,663 --> 00:04:59,530
You want to get dinner
some time?
110
00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:03,401
Oh, that's very flattering
but I'm actually seeing
111
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,404
a therapist
about this very problem.
112
00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:08,072
( laughter )
113
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,274
So I'm not your type?
114
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:11,876
That's so not it.
115
00:05:11,943 --> 00:05:13,645
( laughter )
116
00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:17,148
I'm just late for my
'Doormats-Without-Partners' meeting.
117
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:18,382
Well, how about Saturday?
118
00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:19,784
- I'm sorry but...
- Oh...
119
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:20,918
What?
120
00:05:20,986 --> 00:05:22,586
That's my nephew's Bar Mitzvah.
121
00:05:22,654 --> 00:05:24,055
Oh.
122
00:05:24,122 --> 00:05:25,823
( laughter )
123
00:05:25,891 --> 00:05:27,892
( music )
124
00:05:32,964 --> 00:05:36,834
Lo juro, Carmencita, es verdad.
Yo soy tu papá.
125
00:05:36,902 --> 00:05:39,370
Ay, no, papa.
126
00:05:39,437 --> 00:05:41,239
( laughter )
127
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:45,876
Why the hell are you watching
a Spanish soap opera?
128
00:05:45,944 --> 00:05:46,944
Shh...
129
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:48,513
Something big just happened.
130
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:49,580
What?
131
00:05:49,648 --> 00:05:51,215
I have no idea.
132
00:05:51,283 --> 00:05:54,552
( laughter )
133
00:05:54,619 --> 00:05:59,357
Oh, Niles, just when I think you are
so pathetic, you go and top yourself.
134
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:01,059
( laughter )
135
00:06:01,126 --> 00:06:03,928
Well, I'm sorry, we can't all
learn Spanish the way you did,
136
00:06:03,995 --> 00:06:06,430
chasing frightened tourists down
the streets of Pamplona.
137
00:06:06,498 --> 00:06:09,000
( laughter )
138
00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:12,403
Os he engañado.
Daniel es su hermano.
139
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:15,206
( laughter )
140
00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:17,908
Excuse me, sir, I have to sweep
Master Brighton's room.
141
00:06:17,976 --> 00:06:19,577
You mean the room
with the broken
142
00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:21,078
( with Spanish accent )
television?
143
00:06:21,146 --> 00:06:22,547
( laughter )
144
00:06:24,182 --> 00:06:25,516
I meant the living room.
145
00:06:25,584 --> 00:06:27,919
( laughter )
146
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,423
Well, Miss Fine, how'd it go
with Margaret's professor?
147
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:34,959
Oh, well, uh,
better than I expected.
148
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,961
Wait, wait,
I want to know what happened.
149
00:06:37,028 --> 00:06:40,999
Um, nothing. Nothing. He's not
at all interested in Maggie.
150
00:06:41,066 --> 00:06:42,433
He's interested in me.
151
00:06:42,501 --> 00:06:44,702
What? What do you mean
he's interested in you?
152
00:06:44,769 --> 00:06:47,522
Well, look, calm down, just calm down.
You know,
153
00:06:47,534 --> 00:06:50,074
he asked me out on a date.
I didn't say yes.
154
00:06:50,142 --> 00:06:51,208
Good.
155
00:06:51,276 --> 00:06:52,543
I didn't say no, either.
156
00:06:52,611 --> 00:06:53,644
( laughter )
157
00:06:53,712 --> 00:06:55,713
What do you mean
you didn't say no?
158
00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:57,749
Well, should I have?
159
00:06:57,816 --> 00:06:58,849
Well, of course.
160
00:06:58,917 --> 00:07:01,786
Why? Do I have any
prior engagements?
161
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,020
( laughter )
162
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:04,656
Miss Fine...
163
00:07:04,723 --> 00:07:06,824
Mr. Sheffield, I don't know what
I'm supposed to do anymore.
164
00:07:06,892 --> 00:07:10,127
I mean, a man asks me out
and I say, 'I can't,
165
00:07:10,195 --> 00:07:12,630
I'm in a totally
monogamous relationship'.
166
00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:15,900
The only part I leave out
is that I'm in it by myself.
167
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,502
( laughter )
168
00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:19,704
Miss Fine,
what do you want me to say?
169
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:23,474
I would like you to give me one good reason
why I should not say yes to this man.
170
00:07:23,541 --> 00:07:25,681
I should have thought
that was pretty obvious.
171
00:07:25,693 --> 00:07:27,478
But do you want me
to go ahead say it?
172
00:07:27,545 --> 00:07:29,214
- Please, would you?
- Fine, I'll say it.
173
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:31,449
I'll say it could...
It could hurt Margaret.
174
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:33,951
( laughter )
175
00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:36,854
Oh well, you know, if this was
a cartoon, right now,
176
00:07:36,922 --> 00:07:39,924
you would be strapped to the
back of an Acme moon rocket.
177
00:07:39,992 --> 00:07:42,360
( laughter )
178
00:07:42,427 --> 00:07:46,096
Maggie could care less
if I go out with Steve.
179
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:47,465
What?
180
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,901
How could you do this to me,
Fran? I hate you.
181
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:53,071
Oh, Gosh.
182
00:07:53,138 --> 00:07:58,008
Now this right on the heels of
Brighton crashing the Mercedes.
183
00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,444
Oh my...
184
00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:01,546
( laughter )
185
00:08:01,613 --> 00:08:04,915
We don't own a Mercedes,
Miss Fine!
186
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,818
( laughter )
187
00:08:11,056 --> 00:08:12,223
( knocking )
188
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,657
Max:
I know you're in there.
189
00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:15,659
Well, move over, Colombo.
190
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:17,728
( laughter )
191
00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:20,598
Oh, Maggie, I'm so sorry.
192
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:25,370
I had no idea by the way you were
acting that you had a crush on Steve.
193
00:08:25,437 --> 00:08:27,371
Well, Fran,
what am I supposed to do?
194
00:08:27,439 --> 00:08:30,407
Parade around in some tight little
sweater and throw myself at him?
195
00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:32,342
That's so desperate.
196
00:08:32,410 --> 00:08:34,645
( laughter )
197
00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:37,715
You know, you kids have
no respect for the classics.
198
00:08:37,783 --> 00:08:39,650
( laughter )
199
00:08:39,718 --> 00:08:42,320
Honey, you know, if you don't
want me to go out with him,
200
00:08:42,387 --> 00:08:45,255
just say so.
I respect your feelings.
201
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:47,558
Well, I don't want you
to go out with him.
202
00:08:47,626 --> 00:08:50,928
Well, then I won't go out
with him.
203
00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:55,533
I love you and I would
never do anything to hurt you.
204
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,435
I love you too, Fran.
205
00:08:57,502 --> 00:09:01,205
Then please
let me go out with him.
206
00:09:01,273 --> 00:09:05,409
I'm going to grow old and die
waiting for your father.
207
00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:09,881
You're so young
and blonde and rich.
208
00:09:09,948 --> 00:09:13,751
You can have a zillion
good-looking goyish guys.
209
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:18,890
How many gorgeous Jewish guys are there
still left that are single at my age?
210
00:09:18,957 --> 00:09:23,695
( Crying ) Oh, please, Maggie,
let me go out with him. Please.
211
00:09:23,762 --> 00:09:26,664
( laughter )
212
00:09:26,731 --> 00:09:29,433
Fran, I guess you do kind of
have a point.
213
00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:32,770
I mean, it is harder to find
a guy at your age.
214
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:35,239
And I am young.
215
00:09:35,307 --> 00:09:37,841
And you are old.
216
00:09:37,909 --> 00:09:41,078
( laughter )
217
00:09:41,146 --> 00:09:43,480
Oh, okay.
You can go out with him.
218
00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:46,751
Oh, thank you for your mercy.
Thank you!
219
00:09:46,818 --> 00:09:48,418
( laughter )
220
00:09:48,486 --> 00:09:49,486
( knocking )
221
00:09:49,554 --> 00:09:51,194
Max:
I'm waiting...
222
00:09:51,256 --> 00:09:53,124
How's it feel?
223
00:09:53,191 --> 00:09:54,358
( laughter )
224
00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:56,827
( music )
225
00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:05,503
( knocking )
226
00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:08,651
I'm just gonna forget about Maxwell
Sheffield and have a good time.
227
00:10:09,674 --> 00:10:11,008
- Hi, hi.
- Hi.
228
00:10:11,075 --> 00:10:12,343
Hello, hello.
229
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:14,912
Max, Max, easy now Max.
230
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:15,813
Max?
231
00:10:15,981 --> 00:10:17,614
( Dog barking )
232
00:10:17,682 --> 00:10:18,682
Uh, good doggie.
233
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:20,684
Max takes a while
to warm up to you.
234
00:10:20,752 --> 00:10:22,019
Yeah...
( chuckles )
235
00:10:22,086 --> 00:10:23,621
I know the breed.
236
00:10:23,688 --> 00:10:25,490
( laughter )
237
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:26,657
Okay.
238
00:10:26,725 --> 00:10:28,125
Come on in,
make yourself comfortable.
239
00:10:28,193 --> 00:10:29,993
- Thank you.
- I'll just check on dinner.
240
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:32,195
Okay, great, thank you.
241
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:36,401
( Thinking ) Oh, this whole
thing feels so wrong.
242
00:10:36,468 --> 00:10:38,969
No, I'm just
gonna make an excuse.
243
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,538
I gotta get out of here.
244
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:42,573
Steve:
I make a killer lasagna.
245
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,375
( thinking )
I don't wanna be rude.
246
00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:45,943
( laughter )
247
00:10:53,551 --> 00:10:56,154
So, Max.
248
00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:59,490
( laughter )
249
00:10:59,557 --> 00:11:01,058
Well, this is freaky.
250
00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:02,693
( laughter )
251
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,695
Would you like red wine
or white?
252
00:11:04,763 --> 00:11:07,464
Um, blueberry?
253
00:11:07,532 --> 00:11:08,866
How did I know that?
254
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:10,868
( laughter )
255
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:13,003
Oh. Okay.
256
00:11:13,071 --> 00:11:14,772
So, Fran.
257
00:11:15,006 --> 00:11:15,772
Mm?
258
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,841
Before you got here,
I did a chart.
259
00:11:17,909 --> 00:11:19,076
Oh?
260
00:11:19,144 --> 00:11:22,280
And your planets
are very well-aligned.
261
00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:23,981
Hehe.
262
00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:27,351
Well, actually, one moon is
a little lower than the other.
263
00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:28,853
I take after my mother.
264
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:30,455
( laughter )
265
00:11:31,789 --> 00:11:34,191
There's that cute little giggle.
266
00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:38,729
Well, don't get me too into this stuff or
I'll be laughing all night. ( giggling )
267
00:11:38,797 --> 00:11:39,930
Oh.
268
00:11:39,998 --> 00:11:41,199
( laughter )
269
00:11:41,266 --> 00:11:43,634
So, you need me
to help you or anything?
270
00:11:43,701 --> 00:11:47,037
No, no, no. I'm doing all
the work. You just lie back
271
00:11:47,105 --> 00:11:48,572
and don't do anything.
272
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:49,740
Hehe. Okay.
273
00:11:51,309 --> 00:11:53,110
( laughter )
274
00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:57,948
Okay, Max. You can go now.
275
00:11:58,016 --> 00:11:59,984
There's not enough room
on this couch for three.
276
00:12:00,051 --> 00:12:01,418
( laughter )
277
00:12:01,486 --> 00:12:04,288
Alright, let's go. Move it.
278
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,690
( laughter )
279
00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:09,827
Max, would you marry me?
280
00:12:09,894 --> 00:12:12,429
( laughter )
281
00:12:19,604 --> 00:12:21,072
Works every time.
282
00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:23,707
( laughter )
283
00:12:26,811 --> 00:12:30,114
( music )
284
00:12:43,995 --> 00:12:44,995
Niles?
285
00:12:46,898 --> 00:12:48,566
Niles?
286
00:12:50,668 --> 00:12:52,769
Niles are you awake?
287
00:12:52,837 --> 00:12:56,807
Niles: Yes, sir, I'm just getting
my papers ready for my route.
288
00:12:56,874 --> 00:13:00,511
( laughter )
289
00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:06,317
Uh, sorry old man. Look, do we have
any of that microwave popcorn?
290
00:13:06,384 --> 00:13:09,886
Niles: Do you see that box right
in front of you on the counter
291
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,888
marked 'microwave popcorn'?
292
00:13:11,956 --> 00:13:13,790
( laughter )
293
00:13:15,193 --> 00:13:16,393
Yep.
294
00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:17,694
Niles:
Try that.
295
00:13:17,762 --> 00:13:19,897
( laughter )
296
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:23,033
Alrighty.
297
00:13:23,101 --> 00:13:26,570
You'd better not be such a chatterbox.
You won't be able to get back to sleep.
298
00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:29,072
( laughter )
299
00:13:40,885 --> 00:13:41,885
Niles?
300
00:13:43,855 --> 00:13:45,289
- Niles?
- What?
301
00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:48,092
( laughter )
302
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,996
Well, uh, you didn't have to come all the
way down here. I could have done it myself.
303
00:13:52,063 --> 00:13:53,397
Oh, just give me that.
304
00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:55,032
( laughter )
305
00:14:03,041 --> 00:14:04,108
( sighs )
306
00:14:04,175 --> 00:14:05,742
Is something troubling you, sir?
307
00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:09,279
Oh, Miss Fine. I mean,
I... I'm just fine.
308
00:14:09,347 --> 00:14:11,214
( laughter )
309
00:14:11,282 --> 00:14:13,250
Whenever I can't sleep
310
00:14:13,318 --> 00:14:16,921
it's usually because there's something
on my mind that's gnawing at me.
311
00:14:16,988 --> 00:14:18,689
Making my guts twist.
312
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:21,192
Alright, alright, alright.
I admit it.
313
00:14:21,259 --> 00:14:23,426
I'm jealous. There. Alright?
314
00:14:23,494 --> 00:14:27,431
It's driving me crazy, her being
out with some other man.
315
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:31,401
I can share these feelings with you
because I'm not in love with you.
316
00:14:31,469 --> 00:14:32,869
( laughter )
317
00:14:34,106 --> 00:14:36,707
Well, nobody looks good
at two in the morning.
318
00:14:36,774 --> 00:14:38,208
( laughter )
319
00:14:38,276 --> 00:14:40,878
( music )
320
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:48,752
Por favor, Carmencita, no, no!
321
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,254
( music )
322
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:53,424
( gunshot )
323
00:14:56,361 --> 00:14:59,997
( in Spanish )
No, ay, Carmencita!
324
00:15:05,236 --> 00:15:07,538
Carmencita shoot papa?
325
00:15:07,605 --> 00:15:09,707
Sí.
326
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,210
( In Spanish ) - Es papa...
- Muerte.
327
00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:15,146
( laughter )
328
00:15:16,914 --> 00:15:20,251
Honestly, do the two of you
have nothing better to do
329
00:15:20,318 --> 00:15:23,220
than watch this dribble
in the middle of the afternoon?
330
00:15:23,288 --> 00:15:26,757
( In Spanish )
Es un problema... muy pesado.
331
00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:28,425
( laughter )
332
00:15:30,161 --> 00:15:33,797
Well, you were out rather late
last night, I think.
333
00:15:33,865 --> 00:15:36,167
( laughter )
334
00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:38,902
Well, I had such a wonderful
time with Steve.
335
00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:42,740
He made me a delicious dinner
and he rented a video:
336
00:15:42,807 --> 00:15:43,908
"The Commitments."
337
00:15:43,975 --> 00:15:45,743
( laughter )
338
00:15:45,810 --> 00:15:47,611
So are you planning
on seeing him again?
339
00:15:47,679 --> 00:15:48,679
( Doorbell rings )
340
00:15:48,746 --> 00:15:50,681
Yep.
341
00:15:50,748 --> 00:15:51,782
I'll get it.
342
00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:55,086
Hi. I'm here to see Fran.
343
00:15:55,153 --> 00:15:56,287
You're Steve?
344
00:15:56,354 --> 00:15:58,456
Ho ho ho, Dad.
345
00:15:58,523 --> 00:16:00,424
( laughter )
346
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:02,726
I don't know.
She could still pick you.
347
00:16:02,994 --> 00:16:04,661
( laughter )
348
00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:08,599
- Hi, Fran.
- Hi, Steve.
349
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:11,969
This is Mr. Sheffield.
Mr. Sheffield, this is Steve.
350
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:15,205
You see, I call him Steve,
he calls me Fran,
351
00:16:15,273 --> 00:16:18,608
we've known each other two days,
that's all I want to say.
352
00:16:18,676 --> 00:16:21,312
( laughter )
353
00:16:21,379 --> 00:16:23,914
Steve, Maxwell Sheffield.
354
00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:25,582
I understand
you teach philosophy.
355
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:26,716
Mm.
356
00:16:26,784 --> 00:16:28,518
The study of objective thought.
357
00:16:28,586 --> 00:16:32,622
Yet I hear you're into astrology:
past time of the tooty-fruity.
358
00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:34,591
( laughter )
359
00:16:34,659 --> 00:16:36,226
That's all I want to say.
360
00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:39,095
( laughter )
361
00:16:39,163 --> 00:16:42,633
Ooh, the boy is right,
he is smoking.
362
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:43,901
( laughter )
363
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:46,904
Hello, Steve. C.C. Babcock.
364
00:16:46,971 --> 00:16:50,908
I understand you're a professor and
you're going out with Nanny Fine.
365
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:55,278
What's the matter, research won't
give you a chimp? Ha ha ha.
366
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,515
Ha ha ha ha.
367
00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:00,517
If you didn't have
toilet paper on your shoe
368
00:17:00,585 --> 00:17:02,619
I would be so upset
with you right now.
369
00:17:02,687 --> 00:17:03,887
( laughter )
370
00:17:03,955 --> 00:17:06,957
So, tell me, Steve.
What do you wanna do tonight?
371
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:10,861
Uh, Fran,
I have to break up with you.
372
00:17:10,928 --> 00:17:15,632
Oh, I was thinking of seeing the Titanic,
but apparently I'm already on it.
373
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:16,901
( laughter )
374
00:17:16,968 --> 00:17:19,570
Uh, the thing is
I saw my psychic today.
375
00:17:19,637 --> 00:17:23,306
And she said that I should be in a
relationship with a woman older than you.
376
00:17:23,374 --> 00:17:26,410
That is ridiculous.
Who's older than you?
377
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:28,045
( laughter )
378
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:30,447
Come on, you were born in 1970.
379
00:17:30,515 --> 00:17:33,917
I was? Oh yeah, I was.
Give or take a year or six.
380
00:17:33,985 --> 00:17:35,152
( laughter )
381
00:17:35,219 --> 00:17:38,155
Fran, I feel terrible
about this, but
382
00:17:38,222 --> 00:17:41,324
my psychic sees me with a woman
in her mid-thirties,
383
00:17:41,392 --> 00:17:46,664
having kids, getting married, living
in a split-level house in Great Neck.
384
00:17:47,999 --> 00:17:50,167
What if I told you I was 34?
385
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:53,236
Come on, Fran.
I'd never believe that.
386
00:17:53,304 --> 00:17:55,873
You're right. Who am I kidding?
387
00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:57,942
( laughter )
388
00:18:03,314 --> 00:18:04,882
Niles?
389
00:18:06,017 --> 00:18:07,684
Niles?
390
00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:10,153
( laughter )
391
00:18:10,221 --> 00:18:13,623
Niles? Are you asleep?
392
00:18:13,691 --> 00:18:17,794
Niles: No, I was just going out
to the barn to milk Bessie.
393
00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:19,663
( laughter )
394
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,834
Niles, remember last week
when I told you
395
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:27,804
to hide that Miss Louisiana Crunch
Cake 'cause Ma was coming over?
396
00:18:27,872 --> 00:18:29,172
- Just sit down.
- Agh!
397
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:35,078
( laughter )
398
00:18:36,914 --> 00:18:38,282
( sighs )
399
00:18:38,349 --> 00:18:39,949
What's wrong?
400
00:18:40,017 --> 00:18:44,354
What kind of an idiot breaks up
such a positive relationship
401
00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:49,459
just because some dumb dumb psychic said
that he should date an older woman?
402
00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:52,329
Well, you call
the Psychic Friends Network.
403
00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:55,632
That is Dionne Warwick. That's
an entirely different thing.
404
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:57,967
God knows what kind of
a quack he's talking to.
405
00:18:58,035 --> 00:18:59,837
( laughter )
406
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:03,674
Why don't you just tell him
how old you really are?
407
00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:07,711
Why don't you just take a dip in
the Dead Sea with a hemorrhoid?
408
00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:12,049
( laughter )
409
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,885
He wants an older woman.
410
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:17,020
Well, he should like me
for who I am.
411
00:19:17,088 --> 00:19:19,189
But that's not who you are.
412
00:19:19,257 --> 00:19:22,693
Mr. Sheffield accepts
that I was born in 1970.
413
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,794
Yes, but he knows you're lying.
414
00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:27,364
( laughter )
415
00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:31,801
Well, that's my point, exactly. He
accepts me for the woman I'm really not.
416
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:34,104
( laughter )
417
00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:37,874
Why am I dating
these nutjobs anyway?
418
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:40,511
Mr. Sheffield and I
belong together.
419
00:19:40,578 --> 00:19:43,547
But why are you telling me?
Go upstairs and tell him.
420
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:47,417
Niles, I'm gonna wake him up
at 2 o'clock in the morning?
421
00:19:47,485 --> 00:19:49,919
That is so inconsiderate.
422
00:19:49,987 --> 00:19:51,054
( laughter )
423
00:19:51,122 --> 00:19:52,122
I won't do it.
424
00:19:54,058 --> 00:19:55,291
( Doorbell rings )
425
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,161
Fran, the guy who dumped you
is back again.
426
00:19:58,229 --> 00:20:00,864
Shhh!
427
00:20:00,932 --> 00:20:02,699
What the heck is he doing here?
428
00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:05,803
I don't want to see him.
How's my lipstick?
429
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:07,003
Alright, let him in.
430
00:20:11,142 --> 00:20:12,509
Hi Fran.
431
00:20:12,577 --> 00:20:13,577
These are for you.
432
00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:16,279
Look who's here.
433
00:20:16,314 --> 00:20:21,318
Well, did the psychic tell you you'd come
crawling back carrying your diapers?
434
00:20:21,385 --> 00:20:23,787
'Cause I could've saved you
that $50.
435
00:20:25,156 --> 00:20:28,158
Actually, I just thought
you might like them.
436
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:30,460
Phillip left them on my desk.
437
00:20:30,528 --> 00:20:32,229
Oh.
438
00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:33,697
And, Fran,
439
00:20:33,764 --> 00:20:35,332
my psychic was right.
440
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,635
I've met an older woman
who I really like.
441
00:20:38,703 --> 00:20:42,739
Well, who cares? I wouldn't date
you if you whistle Dixie.
442
00:20:42,807 --> 00:20:45,743
( Whistling )
443
00:20:45,810 --> 00:20:47,644
( laughter )
444
00:20:47,712 --> 00:20:49,747
Don't wait up.
445
00:20:49,814 --> 00:20:52,716
( Whistling )
446
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:54,885
( laughter )
447
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:04,194
( laughter )
448
00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:07,097
Miss Fine?
449
00:21:07,165 --> 00:21:09,433
( laughter )
450
00:21:11,736 --> 00:21:14,171
- Yes, Mr. Sheffield?
- Did I hear Steve?
451
00:21:14,238 --> 00:21:18,208
Yes, you did. He was here,
but I sent him away.
452
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:21,778
Because I knew that you were so
jealous that I was dating him,
453
00:21:21,846 --> 00:21:23,947
and I didn't want fist fighting
to break out...
454
00:21:24,015 --> 00:21:25,182
Niles told me everything.
455
00:21:25,249 --> 00:21:26,649
Oh, I'm such a loser.
456
00:21:26,717 --> 00:21:29,052
( laughter )
457
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:32,856
Now I'm lying about
two relationships I don't have.
458
00:21:32,923 --> 00:21:34,691
( laughter )
459
00:21:34,759 --> 00:21:38,728
Oh, Miss Fine. I tell you what,
I'll buy you a drink.
460
00:21:38,796 --> 00:21:42,333
Oh, don't forget to bring your ID
just in case they want to card you.
461
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,401
Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
462
00:21:45,469 --> 00:21:46,469
( laughter )
463
00:21:48,973 --> 00:21:50,374
I love you.
464
00:21:50,441 --> 00:21:53,010
- We love you too, Niles.
- We love you too, Niles.
465
00:21:53,077 --> 00:21:55,145
( laughter )
466
00:22:01,252 --> 00:22:03,487
Hey Max, up here.
467
00:22:03,554 --> 00:22:07,024
Good boy.
Okay, Max, speak, speak!
468
00:22:07,091 --> 00:22:08,091
( Barks )
469
00:22:08,159 --> 00:22:10,527
Good boy! Down, Max.
470
00:22:10,594 --> 00:22:12,595
Down, Max. Good boy.
471
00:22:12,663 --> 00:22:14,465
Kiss me, Max.
472
00:22:14,532 --> 00:22:17,133
( Chuckles )
473
00:22:17,201 --> 00:22:19,469
If only life was this easy.
474
00:22:19,537 --> 00:22:22,205
( laughter )
475
00:22:22,273 --> 00:22:24,574
( applause )
33845
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