All language subtitles for The.nanny.S05E08.DVDRip.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

( Music )

How lucky is your grandmother,
getting married at her age?

I mean, do you know the odds of a
woman over 35 finding a husband?

One in 1,245.6.

( laughter )

Uh-huh. How much do you weigh,
Ma?

Who can remember numbers?

( laughter )

♪ Like a virgin... ♪
Oy!

( laughter )

Wow, Yetti,
I want whatever you're on.

Well, uh,
this is for inflammation.

- Oh,
- This is for spastic colon,

and I got an ounce of glaucoma
medication that my doctor grew.

( laughter )

But I don't use it because
it gets me kind of loose.

You mean sexually?

No.

( laughter )

♪ Touched
for the very first time ♪

Look at her all atwitter like
an 85-year-old schoolgirl.

Well, Ma, enjoy it. At least you get
to dance at your mother's wedding.

Because at the rate that I'm going
you'll be coming to mine in an urn.

There I said it before you did.

( laughter )

( doorbell )

Oh, oh, that's him.
Let me get the door.

Oh, I'm so excited.

I feel like flying to him
on gossamer wings.

( laughter )

( doorbell )

( laughter )

I'm coming!

( laughter )

( applause )

Oh, hey.

Sammy-la!

Bar-yee-shee-mama.

Oooh. Hehe.

Oh, well, this is a first.
Your mouth is open

and there's no chewed
up SnackWell's in it.

( laughter )

Ma?

When you told us
that you were engaged,

you neglected to mention
that he's black.

You're black?

( laughter )

No wonder...

( laughter )

♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
in one of those crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do, where was she
to go She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make up
but the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair, she was
there, that's how she became the Nanny. ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ The father finds
her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ The kids are
actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl from Flushing,
the Nanny named Fran. ♪

( music )

Dr. Miller, I had the weirdest
dream last night.

Grandma Yetta was running down
a football field

carrying a bridal bouquet

and Count Basie was waiting
for her in the end zone,

when Miss Piggy
comes walking by,

carrying a very lean
corned beef sandwich

( laughter )

and says, 'You are not getting
any younger'.

Clearly the dream indicates

you are bitter and upset
at the fact

that your 85-year-old
grandmother is getting married

for the second time when you
haven't been married once.

Really?

Now you see I just thought I had a
thing for jazz and "The Muppets." Duh.

( laughter )

Fran, you have to shift
your focus.

Now, isn't there anything
else in your life

besides marriage
that you're passionate about?

Like some inner dream
that you've always kept secret?

Mm... like my deepest,
darkest fantasy?

Ah. Want to tell me about it?

( laughter )

Well, it's a little freaky.
( chuckles )

Well, that's good.

I mean, that's alright.

Well, Fran, it's never too late
to follow a dream.

You've got to stop dwelling on the
things that aren't working in your life

and start making the things
that you want to happen, happen.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You know,
Doc, you are absolutely right.

I'm gonna stop obsessing on wanting
to be married and follow my dream.

From here on in, I am set out on a path
where I am gonna be a more interesting,

mature, independent woman.

Maybe then he'll propose.

( laughter )

( music )

Here's your invitation to Yetta's
engagement party at the home.

( laughs )

( laughter )

Now, don't be late, dinner
is served promptly at 2:00.

( laughter )

I cannot make up
a more nauseous-making,

mind-numbing evening.

- Well, I'm going.
- Me too! Where's mine?

( laughter )

Oh, I'm sorry, the maximum
capacity at the home is 640.

It was between you

and the woman handing out Jimmy
Dean samples at the A&P yesterday.

( laughter )

I'm not invited?

Okay. Fine.

'Cause I've got lots of
better things to do.

C.C.: Yetta... Where's
my pretty Yetta?

( laughter )

Mr. Sheffield, I have decided
to pursue my lifelong dream

and become
a successful career woman.

I finally have a direction,
a goal, a clear path.

I thought you wanted to get
married and have children?

Wait, are you asking? Because I
could chuck that other pipe-dream.

( laughter )

Yeah, right. Well,
back to my clear path.

I am going to become
a TV weather girl.

I think that's the perfect job for
you, you would be wonderful at that.

Well, thank you.
Thank you, very much.

Daddy, I loved my lesson,
I want to become a jockey.

Oh, I think that'd be a perfect job
for you, you'd be wonderful at that.

Thank you!

( laughter )

What just happened here?

You were just humoring me,
weren't you?

You no more think that
I could be a TV weather girl

than you think Gracie
could be a jockey!

Of course, I do. I mean, you're beautiful
and photogenic, and she's short.

( laughter )

Mr. Sheffield, I'm not a child.
I'm gonna be 30.

( laughter )

Now, I can handle honesty.

( Sigh )

( laughter )

Ah, no, Miss Fine,
no, you can't.

Well, why don't you just try me?

I don't think you can be
a TV weather girl.

( Crying )
Why?

( laughter )

Well, let's start with,
your voice and a microphone.

( laughter )

You know, there is a fine line
between honest and cruel.

Miss Fine, it's unrealistic.
I'm not being cruel, am I Niles?

Niles: Absolutely not, sir,
she asked for the truth.

( laughter )

Niles!?

Niles: Sorry, Miss Fine.
Christmas is coming.

( laughter )

Well, I know
what's going on here.

You are just terrified that I might
become immensely successful,

leave you and your whole
world will fall apart.

Well, now, that's a tad
arrogant, don't you think?

I wouldn't dream of keeping you here
just to satisfy my own selfish needs.

Oh, really? Well,
then I got news for you.

There is no hope for us, Mister.

( laughter )

Alright,
what just happened here?

Niles:
Well, let's review, sir.

( laughter )

( music )

( doorbell rings )

- If that's my mother,
- If that's my mother,

- tell her I'm not here.
- Tell her I'm not here.

( laughter )

Hi, Sammy, hi, Yetta.

Oh, Fran,
I just love your voice,

I knew where the house was before
I even got out of the car.

Hello, Samuel, Mother.

( laughter )

Uh, why don't you guys go take
a seat in the living room.

And we'll catch up
with you in a minute.

Just go, take a seat.

Well, send up a flare
when you get to the couch.

( laughter )

Now, why are you being so cold to them?
Is it because he's black?

Please... I of all people
am not prejudiced.

You forget, I come from a time

when the Jews were kept out
of the Oyster Bay Country Club.

Just you, Ma,

and that's 'cause
you stole a steak.

( laughter )

You know why I'm upset?

Why?

My father is not even dead
25 years,

and already she's running
off with another man.

( laughter )

They're not
running anywhere, ma.

( laughter )

I'm sorry,
I just can't accept this.

Ma, I also had problems with
Yetta getting married before me,

but I channeled
my anxieties into a new career.

And that is what
you're gonna have to do.

You've gotta find something new in
your life and then focus on that.

I haven't tried the Vienetta log
from the Breyers People.

( laughter )

Hello there. Maxwell Sheffield.
And you must be Sammy?

Yes, and you must be
Fran's husband.

Warming up to him yet, Ma?

I will never accept
another man as my father.

Sammy, you know you're
a little confused, sweetie.

Mr. Sheffield is not my husband.

He's just a killer
of weather girl dreams.

( laughter )

Would you please get off that,
Miss Fine, I am no such thing!

You cannot expect to just walk in off the
street and straight into broadcasting.

You know, my nephew
works down at the

television station, maybe
he can help you out.

Oooh...

There's your in, you think
I should look for another nanny?

Maybe you know him,
Bryant Gumbel?

( Gasps )

Bryant Gumbel's your nephew?

Papa!

( laughter )

( music )

You know, Fran,
if Bryant Gumbel hires you,

doing the weather could be
just the beginning for you.

Oh, I know, you know that
movie "Up Close and Personal?"

Michelle Pfeiffer started out as a
weather girl and look who she became?

Who?

- Well, Michelle Pfeiffer, for one thing.
- Oh, yeah.

( laughter )

Now, you go over there with
the cue cards, and Gracie,

you come up with just some
cute little news headline

and then throw it over to me
at Weather Central.

Okay.

Today, President Clinton and
Chinese President Jiang Zemin

just signed a pact limiting nuclear
proliferation in the Far East.

( laughter )

She talks good.

( laughter )

And now let's go to everyone's favorite
weather girl, Fran 'Fair Skies' Fine. Fran?

Thank you, Grace. Well,
it's going to be a crisp,

delicious day
in the tri-state area.

( laughter )

So,

my forecast would be to wear
something playful and autumn-y.

( laughter )

But,

if you happen to be single and
there's a cold front coming, ladies,

I would wear this.

( laughter )

God willing, you'll get a pneumonia
and 1-2-3, you'll meet a nice doctor.

( laughter )

( music )

Oh, Niles, take out my
Canali Tuxedo, would

you? I have to go down
to my lawyer's office.

Oh, you know, sir, that's right near the
studio where Miss Fine is auditioning.

You might want
to drop by and ruin everything.

( laughter )

Would you just stop it?

You really think
I'm that insecure?

Even if Miss Fine gets this job,

it doesn't mean that she's
necessarily going to leave us.

Ready, Daddy?

Alright, sweetheart. Let's go
over it one more time.

Okay.

Fran, I really miss you
and you have to come home

because I'm afraid to be alone.

Excellent. Excellent!

Now, remember,
wait for my signal, mm?

- Got it?
- Okay.

Good.

You know, I can't believe you're using
me to manipulate someone like this.

It's so... Fran.

( laughter )

Thank you, sweetheart.

( laughter )

( music )

Oh, Bryant Gumbel!
Bryant Gumbel!

Excuse me?

( Applause )

Oh, I'm Fran Fine.
Our Uncle Sammy recommended me.

Oh, yeah, Fran, you made it.

( laughter )

Oh, I'm just so glad that we had an
opportunity to meet before the wedding,

you know I'm gonna make sure that
you're sitting between me and Ma,

so you're not surrounded
by a bunch of nuts.

Agh! Lesley Stahl! Lesley Stahl!

Oh, Lesley,
I love you! I love you!

Is that her real hair?

So, where's my weather set?

What weather... what weather set?

You know, the one
with the temperatures,

and the maps and the clouds that
keep rolling over, over again.

Fran, we don't have
a weather set on the show.

No weather girl?

Oh, but that's what
I'm here for.

Are you sure
you don't want to reconsider?

Because I got an insider
with a Neilson Box.

( laughter )

You know we do have an opening
for an editorial commentator,

would you be interested
in auditioning for this?

Sure! I'd go for editorial commentator!
Whatever the hell that is.

Lance, great, Lance. Why don't we
get her audition down on tape.

Would you like a hairdresser?

Why, do you think it's a
little too subdued for TV?

Might not fit on TV.

( laughter )

( music )

B... b... boy, come here.

( laughter )

Are you taking anyone to this,
uh, thing, Saturday night?

Well, let's see. Am I taking
a date or am I taking...

( laughter )

you?

Secret!

( laughter )

Master Brighton, did she ask you
to take her with you Saturday?

Yes.

Does she know that you're not
going to Yetta's party,

but that she'll be helping
you man the Klingon booth

at the Star Trek convention?

( laughter )

No, but, I mean, maybe I should
tell her. It's just so cruel.

( laughter )

It's a wee bit crueler
than that, captain.

( laughter )

( music )

- You're ready to do this?
- Yeah. Absolutely.

Okay, I'll tell you what. I will give
you a topic off the top of my head,

and you just run with it.

No problemo.

Good. Gene therapy.

Jean therapy, got it.

Fran Fine test,

in five,

four,

three,

two...

Hi, I'm Fran Fine. How are you?

( laughter )

I'm here to do an editorial
commentary on jean therapy.

Well, if you want my opinion,

I think there is nothing more therapeutic
than slipping into a pair of jeans

that make your tush look hot
and a pair of oo-la-la.

( laughter )

Anyhow, I would just slip into
those babies whenever I wanted

to lift my spirits
or my grade point average.

( laughter )

( laughs )

Well, that's it for now.

This is Fran Fine signing off.
Gezai gezunt. Go with God.

( laughter )

- No.
- No?

- No, no, no.
- Oh, my God, is it the hair?

- No, no.
- Oh, I knew

I shouldn't have tried
someone new.

Fran, gene therapy is the alteration
of our genes by scientists.

But why would you go to a
scientist when any dry cleaner

could put up a hem
and they gotta charge more.

No, no, not those kind of jeans.

DNA, genetics,
our cellular infrastructure.

Ooh.

Never mind.

( laughter )

Thank you. We'll be in touch.

Thank you, Bryant Gumbel.

( laughter )

Uncle or no uncle,
I'm having him committed.

( laughter )

Excuse me, I'm going to have to
ask for your security pass back.

Oh,

won't I need it for tomorrow?

( laughter )

And the box of donuts.

( laughter )

They're the lemon-filled ones.
Nobody eats those.

( laughter )

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
it was horrible.

Oh, why?
Miss Fine, what happened?

That mean lady took my donuts.

( laughter )

No, I mean what happened with
the audition? How did it go?

Well, for starters
they didn't need a weather girl.

They made me audition
for editorial commentator.

Yikes.

( laughter )

Well, I mean, in a most
supportive way, of course.

Oh, it doesn't matter. You were
right in the first place.

You know, next time
I have a dream,

just go ahead and dump all over
it. It'll save me the heartache.

I wouldn't be so sure, Miss Fine. I
have a confession to make to you.

You know, the real reason I came
down here today was because

frankly, I was terrified
you would succeed.

- Really?
- Yes.

Furthermore, I came up
with a rather elaborate

ruse to make sure I
could get you back.

- Really?
- Watch. Watch this.

( laughter )

Gracie...

Ooh. Fran, I'm so...

( indistinct )

( laughter )

Never mind. Well, we did have
it all planned out, I promise.

Oh, that is so sweet.

( laughter )

But, you know, a word of advice, next time
you use a child to manipulate an adult,

you gotta give them
a protein, not a

carbohydrate, or they
lose their concentration.

( laughter )

Oh, why couldn't
this have been my category?

I could've been the next
Connie Chung Povich.

Come on, honey, let's go home.

Oh wait, a minute.

( laughter )

( applause )

May I help you?

Yes, I'm here to meet my nephew
for lunch, Bryant Gumbel?

And my little girl
is anxious to meet him.

( Giggling )

( laughter )

This is my daddy.

( laughter )

( playing blues )

Ah!

( Applause )

That was gorgeous, Sammy.

Oh, thank you, baby.
But let me play you my favorite.

♪ My yiddisha mama ♪

♪ I need her
more than ever now ♪

♪ My yiddisha mama ♪

♪ I love to kiss
that wrinkled brow ♪

♪ I long to hold her hand ♪

♪ Once more ♪

♪ As in days gone by ♪

♪ Mmm mmm mmm ♪

♪ Mmm mmm mmm ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh. ♪

( Applause )