All language subtitles for The.nanny.S05E07.DVDRip.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

Hi!

Your grandmother
is such a sucker.

She thinks she's a finalist in Ed
McMahon's Publishers' Clearing House.

You're just jealous because
I'm gonna be a millionaire.

You better be nice to me because
I got a very long memory.

( laughter )

Waitress, could I get
a cup of decaf?

( laughter )

I got a letter for you.

Oh...

From Cambodia...

( laughter )

Cambodia? Oh, my Gosh.

Pack your bags,
we'll hide her out in Canada.

( laughter )

Oh, look, Val,
it's from Mai Ling.

Who's Mai Ling?

Oy, these two mashuganas
adopted an orphan in High School

at 17 cents a day.

What a steal.
Bell Peppers are 4.99 a pound.

( laughter )

Ma, we weren't mashiginas,

that poor child happens
to come from a country

where you gotta scrape and scrounge and
fight for every last morsel of food.

- Just give me a...
- Get away or I'll kill ya.

( laughter )

Fran, she's coming to New York

- three weeks from the date of this letter.
- Oh!

Which is tomorrow!

Ma!

Oh, I'm sorry, I taped it
to the refrigerator to

give it to you and then
I forgot it was there.

Well, that's because the
refrigerator door is never closed.

( laughter )

Oh, Fran.

I can't believe our
little girl is coming to see us.

Ah...

I wonder which one of us
she'll look like.

( laughter )

Val, she's not going
to look like either of us,

because she's adopted.

- Oy.
- Ah, yeah.

Oy. Am I an idiot?

- No.
- Oh.

Well, let's just pray
she inherited your brains.

( laughter )

She's got a very good heart.

So does an artichoke.

( laughter )

♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing, Queens, ♪

♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out
in one of those crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do, where was she
to go She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door, ♪

♪ She was there to sell make up
but the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had flair, she was
there, that's how she became the Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father finds
her beguiling, watch out C.C. ♪

♪ The kids are actually
smiling, such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl from Flushing,
the Nanny named Fran. ♪

Here's your sandwich, sir.

"Thank you Niles."
You're welcome, sir.

"All you do for me and
a heart condition on top of it."

I wouldn't let a little angina

keep me from picking up your
freshly baked focaccia bread

at 4:00 in the morning.

( laughter )

You're right, Niles.
I don't appreciate you.

"Well, that's because
I don't do squat around here."

Perhaps you should put a bit
more effort into it.

"Well, I can't, sir,
I'm a lazy old house trow."

( laughter )

All I wanted was
a simple thank you.

I suppose in order to get
some attention around here

I have to hop up on your desk
in my short skirt.

( laughter )

Did you say, "my"?

( laughter )

I was putting myself
in Miss Fine's shoes.

Well, you can't wear those
wingtips with your skirt,

it'll make you stumpy.

( laughter )

He who belts, "I'm going to wash
that man right out of my hair,"

in the shower should not
throw stones.

I assure you, I am the most
masculine one in this room...

until now.

( laughter )

You know, Maxwell, I can't believe what
they get away with on TV these days.

I was watching this rerun of
Seinfeld and Elaine must have been,

I don't know,
12 months pregnant,

and they didn't even
acknowledge it, they

just keep hiding her
behind these huge props.

( laughter )

And this needs water.

( laughter )

( clapping )

Mr. Sheffield,

remember when you told
me that I can never

have any more relatives
staying at the house?

Yes, but, more importantly,
do you?

( laughter )

Well, would you make
an exception for my daughter?

Your what?

Uh, did I mention that I have
a 19-year-old daughter?

But that's impossible. That means
you would have had to have been...

10.

( laughter )

Yeah, I got her at a
UNICEF fair when I was in

High School, Junior High,
Elementary School.

( laughter )

Well, I think it's wonderful that
you're a foster parent, Miss Fine.

Thank you. Does it give you
any ideas? You know,

now that I have a kid
and you have kids?

♪ 'Til one day when the lady
met this fella, and... ♪

Miss Fine, if I say she can stay
here, will you stop singing?

Oh, thank you,
you're such a doll.

Oh, now I just hope
that she likes me.

You know how I'm not really good
with kids - I mean my own kids.

( laughter )

Maxwell, this just came back from the
framers, where do you want to hang it?

( laughter )

( music )

( doorbell rings )

Fran:
She's here!

She's here!

Oh, we're coming! We're coming!

Oooh!

Oh, honey, let's meet
our little girl.

( laughter )

Hi! There she...

Hello. I am Mai Ling.

Boy, you really filled out
on 17 cents a day.

( laughter )

( chuckles )

Hello, Mai Ling.

We are your mother and mother.

( laughter )

Look how I'm talking to her,
like she doesn't understand.

You must be Val.

( laughter )

Come in! Come in!

Oh, so beautiful!

Hehe.

This is your house?

Well, I'm working on it,
sweetie.

( laughter )

I can't wait to meet your
husband. Where is he?

Well, hopefully, he's at a very
successful law firm, or seeing a patient.

( laughter )

Come on, sit down,
talk with your mother.

Excuse me, I'm her mother, too.

( laughter )

So, sweetie, tell us, how could
you afford to fly here?

Oh, I worked
since I was 10 years old.

Ooh.

They let you work
so young there?

No, sometimes I would lie
about my age.

Oh, my baby.

( laughter )

My baby, too.

Well, it was my idea to buy her.

Yeah?

It was my idea
to go to the fair!

Please! Mommies, don't fight.
It put knives in my heart.

There! There! She's Jewish.
She's mine.

Oh!

Ma, you are not going to win
from Publishers' Clearing House.

You spend your whole social
security check on magazines.

What do you need
with Runner's Digest?

( laughter )

Oh, I thought
it just said, "digest."

( laughter )

What a pleasure, ladies. Haven't
seen you in, what, half a day?

( laughter )

How did you get in?

You left the door open.

You had a key made?

Maybe that was it.

( laughter )

Where are you running?
Niles, darling.

I got a little something
on my pursue

at the gas station. I wonder
if you could it off for me?

What is it, grease?

Yeah. From a burrito.

( laughter )

Niles:
It's Sylvia's.

Oh, hi, Ma, Yetta.
Now, wait a minute.

You two did go home,
yesterday, didn't you?

( laughter )

What are you wearing to aunt
Frieda's birthday tomorrow?

Oh, I got the most adorable
little white polka dot dress

with big colorful
fruits all over it.

Like that?

( laughter )

Oh, that's it. Oh, look great in it.
I'll wear something else to Frieda's.

Oh, ma, Yetta,

I want you to meet my daughter,
Mai Ling. She just arrived.

Oh,

I hope you had a Caesarean.

( laughter )

Maggie take me to big party and I
want to look pretty like my mother.

- Oh, thank you, sweetie.
- Thank you, sweetie.

What are you saying?

( Car horn )

( laughter )

She's here one week and
in your clothes already?

Fran, I don't like it.

You don't take advantage of someone
when you're a guest in their house.

Niles! How long does
it take to clean a purse?

( laughter )

Here's your pocketbox, girls.

- Thanks.
- Well, time to party, Mai.

But we have to be home early because
Maggie has school tomorrow.

Uh, Mai, you say that
in front of dad.

She's the one who taught me
how to do this.

Yeah.

I taught her everything
she knows, hehe. Have fun.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- So cute.

Do you even know where
she's going to?

Uhh... no. But I don't know
where Maggie's going either.

Well, I do not think Mai Ling should go out
dressed like that. She looks like a hooker.

Well, that's my outfit.

Enough said.

( laughter )

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, come on. This is a big revelation?
You dress like a tramp.

( laughter )

You know what revelation means?

( laughter )

You know, you are always
undermining me.

Now, why do I always have to be
the bad guy? You spoil her.

Well, what's the big deal if I do
spoil her? I can afford it now.

Oh, please, it isn't your money,
you're the hired help.

Well, you really learn a lot
about a person

when you have a kid with them,
that's all I can say.

I'm sensing a lot of anger here.

( Both )
You think?

( laughter )

Okay. I have found that
in couples therapy,

it's often useful
for the couples, the two of you,

to try to remember what it was that
first attracted you to each other.

I mean, for instance, my wife says
about me that it was my winning smile.

( laughter )

Look, doctor, I've known
her since kindergarten.

I simply think I
have outgrown her.

( laughter )

You see what she does? She
always tries to act superior.

You know, that's why so many people
did not like her in High School.

Oh, is she stupid!

I was the most
popular girl in school.

It said so on
all the bathroom walls.

( laughter )

Oh! There she goes,
calling me stupid again.

You know, for 20 years
she's been making fun of me,

and I gotta tell you something,
I'm getting damned tired of it!

How dare you!

When I'm the one that's always defending
you when everyone calls you dumb!

Yeah? Oww! You know what?

I'm the one that always
defended you in High

School when everybody
called you a slut!

Oy! Doctor! See how dumb she is?
She thinks that's an insult!

Val:
Oh!

( laughter )

Yeah? Yeah?
Well, what about values? Huh?

Those are some values you're teaching our
daughter: living with a man out of wedlock!

I'm not in a relationship with
Mr. Sheffield! I'm his nanny.

Congratulations, Fran! You
just broke through your denial!

( laughter )

You know, after 20 years of a relationship
you expect a little magic to go out of it,

but this is beyond repair!

I'll tell you something, it is over between
us! I am suing you for full custody!

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Huh!

Bigshot, huh? She'll be back.

You know, I drove her,

and she has my keys.

( laughter )

Ma.

( Crying )
Ma...

What is it? Darling, what?

I can't even talk about it.

Good, because your father
and I are going to the movies.

( laughter )

Maaaa!

( Crying )

If we don't get there
before three,

we'll miss the free
Jalapeno nachos.

Alright. What is it!?

( laughter )

Sweetheart, nothing is ever
as bad as it seems.

Ma, it's over.
We split up.

No! Don't say that!

Oh.

It's true. It was
the worst fight we ever had.

Oh, my God,
I'm having palpitations.

Quick, get me my medicine.

Oh...

( laughter )

( laughter )

It was Dr. Miller who said we
had irreconcilable differences.

I'll kill that quack.

( laughter )

You go back and beg
for forgiveness.

Beg a little, for God's sake,
you're a single maid.

( laughter )

Ma, what are you talking about?

Apologize to Mr. Sheffield.

Ma, I'm talking about Val.

( laughter )

I am missing Jalapeno nachos
for that moron?

( laughter )

Well, consider it a favor to
the people sitting behind you.

What the hell do you have
to fight about with Val?

Well, it all started over
Mai Ling but...

Darling? That's the problem.
That girl.

First she mucks up
your friendship with Val,

next she'll come between you
and Mr. Sheffield.

Oh, ma, she's a baby,
she's only 19.

And what were you doing
when you were 19?

( laughter )

That's different, Ma.
I was a very mature 19.

I was 24.

( laughter )

Besides, it's crazy. Mr. Sheffield
is practically a foster father.

Two words, baby:

Soon Yi.

( laughter )

Ah-ha.

( laughter )

What are you doing home
in the middle of the afternoon?

My office is at home.

Huh.

Well, Mr. I've got an answer
for everything,

answer me this:

are you having
an affair with Mai Ling?

Miss Fine, are you insane?

I have never been this sane
in my entire life.

Or this thin,
thank you very much.

( laughter )

Now, if there's nothing going on
between you two, then answer me this:

why do you look
so unbelievably handsome?

And explain that extra sparkle
in your eyes... hm?

Because I'm looking at you...

( laughter )

Oh, please. If I'm so irresistible,
then why aren't you all over me?

( Cheering )

( laughter )

To hell with Mai Ling.

( laughter )

Miss Fine! I can't believe
you'd accuse me of such a thing.

She's a teenager,
for heaven's sakes.

I mean, it's not as if I'm some
oversexed 16-year-old boy.

( laughter )

What the hell's going on
in here?

Well, Dad, I mean,
she just knocked on my door,

asked me how to spell a big word
and started kissing me.

( laughter )

How dare you!

I gotta try that,
but how dare you.

( laughter )

It's okay, Dad,
'cause we're engaged.

( Both )
What??!

You are nothing of the sort.

What's the matter? My daughter's
not good enough for you?

Miss Fine, they are not engaged,
and that's that.

Hello? How else am I going
to get my green card.

( Gasp )

Oh, well, that's Val's side
coming right through, baby.

( laughter )

Brighton, how could you let
yourself be taken in like this?

Oh, well, let's see. I'm 16,
she's a breathing female,

and, uh, I'm 16.
That's all you need.

( laughter )

Oh, Fran!

I just got your message about
May Ling, I can't believe it!

( Crying )
Where did we go wrong?

Awww...

Oooh.

Oh Val, it isn't our fault. We
were too young when we had her.

( Crying )

- I'm sorry.
- I love you.

- I missed you.
- I love you.

Oh, Fran,

let's promise never again to
let our kids come between us.

What kids? As of this moment,
I'm disowning her.

Me too!

Val!

Well, why ruin two jackets?

Hi, moms.

Don't "moms" us. It's Miss
Fine and Miss Toriello to you.

I'm so sorry that I hurt you.

I'll leave and stay with my friend
I met last night at the party.

His mother has
a big apartment in the city.

Oh.

( laughter )

I'm walking to the door.

( Muttering )

I'm almost to the door.

Oh.

Are you never going to speak
to me again?

Speak to you?

You used us. You almost
broke up me and your mother.

And you hurt the people
that I love.

We can't even look at you.

Huh!

( laughter )

Well, if you change your mind, here's
the number where I will be staying.

If I or my friend,
Jason, is not there,

just ask for his mother.
Miss Barbra Streisand.

( laughter )

Goodbye, Miss Fine,
Miss Toriello.

( Both )
So formal with your mother.

( laughter )

Thanks for buying these
subscriptions off me, Neil.

( laughter )

( sighs )

Yetta, you said a few.

I also said you were invited
to my wedding.

You mean I'm not?

Well, you'll be there, but
you won't exactly be a guest.

Wear comfortable shoes.

( laughter )

Thanks, Neil!

( laughter )

What?

( Applause )