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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:04,936
So, what's happening
with you and Mr. Sheffield?
2
00:00:04,937 --> 00:00:06,270
Na-da.
3
00:00:06,271 --> 00:00:09,440
( laughter )
4
00:00:09,441 --> 00:00:13,044
Ever since me and Mr. Sheffield
started to heat things up
5
00:00:13,045 --> 00:00:15,880
we haven't had one minute
alone together.
6
00:00:15,881 --> 00:00:19,718
Open your mouth. Just say,
"Go away, leave us alone,
7
00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:21,553
we want privacy."
8
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:24,756
Go away, leave us alone,
we want privacy.
9
00:00:24,757 --> 00:00:26,091
There you go.
10
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:27,558
( laughter )
11
00:00:27,559 --> 00:00:28,927
Ah, Miss Fine.
12
00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:30,595
Oh, hi.
13
00:00:30,596 --> 00:00:33,796
Sylvia, would you mind? I'd like
some time alone with your daughter.
14
00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:39,270
There are some Hershey's Kisses
under the cushions on the couch.
15
00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:43,675
( laughter )
16
00:00:45,578 --> 00:00:49,914
Ah, Miss Fine, so nice to finally
have some time alone together.
17
00:00:49,915 --> 00:00:52,049
- Yeah.
- I've missed you.
18
00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,785
- Me too you.
- Which couch?
19
00:00:53,786 --> 00:00:55,119
The office!
20
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,355
( laughter )
21
00:00:57,356 --> 00:00:58,422
You were saying.
22
00:00:58,423 --> 00:01:00,358
( laughter )
23
00:01:00,359 --> 00:01:03,761
I know I've been dragging
my feet a little
24
00:01:03,762 --> 00:01:06,631
with regards
to our relationship,
25
00:01:06,632 --> 00:01:08,500
but I'm gonna change that.
26
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:11,135
I think it's time
you and I had a date.
27
00:01:11,136 --> 00:01:14,672
Oh, my God, you're asking me
out on a date?
28
00:01:14,673 --> 00:01:17,542
Yes, yes, yes.
I was thinking Friday night.
29
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:21,413
Oh, I can't I, gotta cook
for the Sabbath.
30
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,780
Oh, really?
31
00:01:22,781 --> 00:01:24,382
Yeah, right! Where are we going?
32
00:01:24,383 --> 00:01:26,050
( laughter )
33
00:01:26,051 --> 00:01:30,154
Well, as you know, I've been dying to
get Elton John to star in my musical
34
00:01:30,155 --> 00:01:33,791
and it so happens he's invited me
to the premiere of his new movie,
35
00:01:33,792 --> 00:01:35,360
"Tantrums and Tiaras."
36
00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:37,596
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
37
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,931
you don't know
how happy this makes me.
38
00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:42,667
Not only have you asked me
out on a date,
39
00:01:42,668 --> 00:01:47,071
but you actually trust me to not be
concerned that I'm gonna embarrass you
40
00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:49,007
in front of a celebrity.
41
00:01:50,576 --> 00:01:52,877
( laughter )
42
00:01:57,683 --> 00:01:58,916
Of course.
43
00:02:02,821 --> 00:02:05,623
♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing, Queens ♪
44
00:02:05,624 --> 00:02:08,726
♪ Till her boyfriend kicked her out
in one of those crushing scenes ♪
45
00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:13,832
♪ What was she to do, where was she
to go, she was out on her fanny ♪
46
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,368
♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪
47
00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:19,403
♪ She was there to sell make-up
but the father saw more ♪
48
00:02:19,404 --> 00:02:24,776
♪ She had style, she had flair, she was
there, that's how she became the Nanny ♪
49
00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:27,378
♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl we described ♪
50
00:02:27,379 --> 00:02:29,914
♪ Was just exactly
what the doctor prescribed? ♪
51
00:02:29,915 --> 00:02:31,382
♪ Now, the father
finds her beguiling ♪
52
00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:32,717
♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
53
00:02:32,718 --> 00:02:34,185
♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪
54
00:02:34,186 --> 00:02:35,820
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
55
00:02:35,821 --> 00:02:40,391
♪ She's the lady in red when
everybody else is wearing tan ♪
56
00:02:40,392 --> 00:02:44,428
♪ The flashy girl from Flushing,
the Nanny named Fran. ♪
57
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:49,834
I just don't understand
58
00:02:49,835 --> 00:02:53,871
why Maxwell would ask
Nanny Fine on a date.
59
00:02:53,872 --> 00:02:57,908
I should be going
to Elton John's dinner, not her.
60
00:02:57,909 --> 00:03:02,647
I am the one
with sophistication.
61
00:03:02,648 --> 00:03:06,250
I am the one with savvy.
62
00:03:06,251 --> 00:03:09,487
Why would he pick her over me?
63
00:03:09,488 --> 00:03:12,223
( Yelling )
He doesn't like you!
64
00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:14,025
( laughter )
65
00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:24,002
Why?
66
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:26,871
( laughter )
67
00:03:26,872 --> 00:03:29,407
Miss Babcock,
I would love to help you.
68
00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:32,310
But ever since the heart attack, the
one you're partly responsible for,
69
00:03:32,311 --> 00:03:36,881
I get easily winded. I can't
speak and work at the same time.
70
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:40,619
( laughter )
71
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,957
Well, what am I doing wrong?
72
00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:48,960
Well, for one thing,
you've known him for 25 years,
73
00:03:48,961 --> 00:03:52,363
or half your life, and you don't
even know the names of his children.
74
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:54,331
( laughter )
75
00:03:54,332 --> 00:03:56,433
Okay. Good, good.
76
00:03:56,434 --> 00:03:58,803
Learn the kids' names.
That's a start.
77
00:03:58,804 --> 00:04:00,271
( laughter )
78
00:04:02,507 --> 00:04:05,943
Yeah, this is nice.
We're helping each other.
79
00:04:05,944 --> 00:04:08,146
That's what friends are for.
80
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:12,216
You know there's a very strange fungus
in Brighton's shower. Would you mind?
81
00:04:12,217 --> 00:04:13,418
Sure, pal.
82
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,952
( laughter )
83
00:04:17,022 --> 00:04:20,525
Niles, do you think Miss
Babcock's upset
84
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,827
that I asked Nanny Fine
out on a date?
85
00:04:22,828 --> 00:04:24,262
Oh, no, sir.
86
00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:25,830
I'd hate for her to think
I didn't like her.
87
00:04:25,831 --> 00:04:28,166
Oh, wherever would she
ever get that idea?
88
00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:29,667
( laughter )
89
00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:31,369
Oh, I don't know.
90
00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:35,406
Maybe from some big fat butler
screaming into her face?
91
00:04:35,407 --> 00:04:36,874
( laughter )
92
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:46,116
Oh, stop it. I know
those are blimey Tic Tacs.
93
00:04:46,117 --> 00:04:48,252
( laughter )
94
00:04:48,253 --> 00:04:50,421
I'm sick to death
of the whole thing.
95
00:04:50,422 --> 00:04:53,157
I want the two of you
to stop behaving like children.
96
00:04:53,158 --> 00:04:57,395
Good God, Miss Fine and I are the only
two around here behaving like adults.
97
00:04:57,396 --> 00:05:00,365
( Screaming )
98
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:02,800
Oh, it's a fun day!
99
00:05:02,801 --> 00:05:06,371
Oh, Fran, this is so exciting!
100
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:09,974
Okay, okay, we gotta go.
I mean, I'm not 16 anymore,
101
00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:12,076
- but isn't he a babe?
- Yes!
102
00:05:12,077 --> 00:05:14,646
And look how great
our names fit together.
103
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,649
- I know.
- Oh, God.
104
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:21,552
Oh boy, that's going
to kill me tomorrow.
105
00:05:21,553 --> 00:05:24,756
Oh, Val, can you believe
this is happening?
106
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:29,927
First, he cops a feel on the week that
I'm retaining. Is that luck or what?
107
00:05:29,928 --> 00:05:32,062
Then he lets you remodel.
108
00:05:32,063 --> 00:05:34,164
- Yeah.
- Then he asks you out.
109
00:05:34,165 --> 00:05:38,069
Oh, finally, my feet are firmly
planted on the ground.
110
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:42,006
Now, I just gotta make sure I speed
things up before my tuchus is there too.
111
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:43,975
( laughter )
112
00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:46,810
You know, I do isometrics
to keep my butt firm.
113
00:05:46,811 --> 00:05:49,414
You know,
I'm doing them right now.
114
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,882
Get off my bed, Val.
115
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,384
( laughter )
116
00:05:53,385 --> 00:05:56,854
I'll tell you, you know what's really
going to impress Mr. Sheffield,
117
00:05:56,855 --> 00:06:01,659
when I tell him at the dinner that
I have already met Elton John.
118
00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:03,494
Get out of here. How?
119
00:06:03,495 --> 00:06:06,898
Well, remember that Sheffield
vacation in the south of France
120
00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:09,267
that I couldn't get out of?
121
00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:11,302
Oh, you mean the one where
you told Mr. Sheffield that
122
00:06:11,303 --> 00:06:14,572
if anything happens to Grace, you're
the only one with her blood type?
123
00:06:14,573 --> 00:06:17,342
Uh-huh.
124
00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:20,644
Well, anyway, Elton was staying
at that same hotel.
125
00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:25,449
I saw him playing tennis
and I yelled at him, "Yoo hoo."
126
00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:27,852
You always know
the perfect thing to say.
127
00:06:27,853 --> 00:06:28,953
( laughter )
128
00:06:28,954 --> 00:06:30,388
Oh!
129
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:33,758
Well, you know, Val, when you
travel in circles like I do,
130
00:06:33,759 --> 00:06:37,094
you just get glib.
131
00:06:37,095 --> 00:06:38,863
Oh, kids, kids! Come in here.
132
00:06:38,864 --> 00:06:41,265
You're not going to believe the most
incredible thing that's happened.
133
00:06:41,266 --> 00:06:45,870
Your father is taking us to the
screening of Elton John's new movie,
134
00:06:45,871 --> 00:06:49,140
and then there's a big
private dinner party afterwards.
135
00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:50,942
- Are you serious?
- Uh-huh.
136
00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:53,377
I'm going
to Elton John's dinner party?
137
00:06:53,378 --> 00:06:55,046
No.
138
00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:57,214
Isn't that great?
139
00:06:57,215 --> 00:07:00,952
It's just me and your father.
It's our first date.
140
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:04,389
You're not going,
and you're not going.
141
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:07,591
Everybody that's going to Elton
John's private dinner party,
142
00:07:07,592 --> 00:07:09,727
take one step forward.
143
00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,797
( laughter )
144
00:07:17,269 --> 00:07:20,605
Well, Niles, is everyone ready?
145
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,774
Maxwell, Margaret,
Brighton, Gracie?
146
00:07:23,775 --> 00:07:25,343
Oh.
147
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:29,180
Very good. And...?
148
00:07:29,181 --> 00:07:30,982
And what?
149
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:34,953
Oh, for heaven's sake, he's
your favorite. Little Sydney.
150
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:38,188
( laughter )
151
00:07:38,189 --> 00:07:39,857
There are four?
152
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:47,865
Oh, right, I know him.
153
00:07:47,866 --> 00:07:49,500
Yep, yep, I've seen that face.
154
00:07:49,501 --> 00:07:51,536
Of course you have.
155
00:07:53,205 --> 00:07:56,341
Niles, are you done with my picture
of us with Macaulay Culkin?
156
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,210
( laughter )
157
00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:01,912
( doorbell rings )
158
00:08:06,951 --> 00:08:09,119
( laughter )
159
00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:17,328
Sylvia. You look amazing.
160
00:08:17,329 --> 00:08:20,331
( laughter )
161
00:08:20,332 --> 00:08:25,135
Thank you. It's from
the Jo Anne Worley Collection.
162
00:08:25,136 --> 00:08:27,371
( laughter )
163
00:08:27,372 --> 00:08:31,442
Ma, how could you wear pants
to a formal affair?
164
00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:35,112
This isn't a gown?
165
00:08:35,113 --> 00:08:36,547
( laughter )
166
00:08:41,953 --> 00:08:47,625
Oh, here I am, thinking I'm looking
so sexy with this high slit.
167
00:08:47,626 --> 00:08:50,227
( laughter )
168
00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:55,633
( applause )
169
00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:57,669
Hi.
170
00:08:57,670 --> 00:09:01,606
Ah, this is gonna be such
a great night, and I'm so happy
171
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,975
you guys get to share it
with me.
172
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,577
But if I see your faces after
the screening, you're dead,
173
00:09:06,578 --> 00:09:08,579
'cause that's when
the date kicks in.
174
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,848
( laughter )
175
00:09:10,849 --> 00:09:13,183
Sweetheart, do you remember
the night of your prom,
176
00:09:13,184 --> 00:09:15,853
when you came home
with your dress all disheveled
177
00:09:15,854 --> 00:09:18,889
and your bra sticking out
of your purse?
178
00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:20,357
Yeah?
179
00:09:20,358 --> 00:09:23,928
Let's hope
history repeats itself!
180
00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:25,662
( laughter )
181
00:09:25,663 --> 00:09:28,733
My God, you look lovely.
182
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,201
Thank you.
183
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,270
( laughter )
184
00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:35,773
But it's Fran's night.
Compliment her.
185
00:09:35,774 --> 00:09:38,242
( laughter )
186
00:09:38,243 --> 00:09:40,745
Well, I suppose
we should get going.
187
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,146
Yes, yes, we should.
188
00:09:42,147 --> 00:09:46,017
Let's go Margaret, Brighton,
Gracie, Sydney.
189
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:47,551
( laughter )
190
00:09:50,722 --> 00:09:52,957
You guys go ahead.
I'll be out in a minute,
191
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:55,193
I just wanna check my face.
I'll be okay.
192
00:09:57,162 --> 00:09:59,563
Now, I know
that we haven't talked
193
00:09:59,564 --> 00:10:03,267
since John John went
through with the wedding,
194
00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:06,370
but I really love this guy.
195
00:10:06,371 --> 00:10:10,207
So please help me to make
everything go good tonight.
196
00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:14,645
I suppose a sign that you heard
me would be too much to ask?
197
00:10:14,646 --> 00:10:18,949
Come on, Miss Fine. I'm afraid
the limo's a tad crowded
198
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:21,385
so you're going to have
to sit on my lap.
199
00:10:21,386 --> 00:10:22,987
( laughter )
200
00:10:25,357 --> 00:10:26,924
That'll do.
201
00:10:36,935 --> 00:10:38,536
I want some popcorn.
202
00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:40,905
I'll take you, Gracie.
203
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:43,207
( laughter )
204
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:44,542
No, I'll go.
205
00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:47,779
No, no, Miss Fine, Miss Fine,
I'll go. Remember,
206
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,681
you're not my nanny tonight.
207
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:51,783
Tonight, you're my date.
208
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:53,083
Haha.
209
00:10:53,084 --> 00:10:55,586
And you're my escort.
210
00:10:55,587 --> 00:10:57,388
You see to my needs.
211
00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:01,192
You do it for me.
212
00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:02,860
( laughter )
213
00:11:04,996 --> 00:11:06,764
- You want something?
- Rolos.
214
00:11:06,765 --> 00:11:08,332
( laughter )
215
00:11:11,202 --> 00:11:15,439
Well, he doesn't give a rat's
patootie if I know the kids' names.
216
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,374
All he cares about
is Nanny Fine.
217
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:22,179
Oh, you've still got a shot. Why else
would he ask you to look after Sydney?
218
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,848
( laughter )
219
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:28,953
When did he do that?
220
00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:32,289
I don't know, in the limo,
when we stopped for gas.
221
00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:34,058
Yetta's.
222
00:11:34,059 --> 00:11:35,626
( laughter )
223
00:11:39,798 --> 00:11:41,198
Well, where is he?
224
00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:43,667
Oh, dear, I thought
he was with you.
225
00:11:43,668 --> 00:11:45,736
Sydney, Sydney.
226
00:11:45,737 --> 00:11:47,405
( laughter )
227
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,778
Oh, hey, that's that hotel
we stayed at.
228
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:57,081
Yeah, look, there's Elton
playing tennis.
229
00:11:57,082 --> 00:11:59,850
That's where I talked to him.
That's where I said, "Yoo hoo."
230
00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:03,320
- Do you want to tell me what happened?
- Oh, I just lost my temper.
231
00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:06,357
This bloody woman at the end of the
court waving to me... "Yoo hoo."
232
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:09,193
( laughter )
233
00:12:09,194 --> 00:12:11,962
And then it just pissed me off.
234
00:12:11,963 --> 00:12:13,864
( laughter )
235
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:24,876
Oh, if Elton finds out
that that was me,
236
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:27,177
he's never going
to be in your father's show.
237
00:12:27,178 --> 00:12:31,015
Oh, your father's gonna be a laughingstock,
he's gonna be totally humiliated.
238
00:12:31,016 --> 00:12:33,451
This is the worst thing
I've ever done to him.
239
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:36,020
Well, why don't you
just go home?
240
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:38,122
Oh, I don't want
to ruin our first date.
241
00:12:38,123 --> 00:12:39,289
( laughter )
242
00:12:44,162 --> 00:12:47,865
This never would have happened if you
knew your place with celebrities.
243
00:12:47,866 --> 00:12:49,800
Ma.
244
00:12:49,801 --> 00:12:52,503
You have to learn
to use decorum.
245
00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:54,071
( laughter )
246
00:12:57,108 --> 00:12:58,843
Oh, Miss Close.
247
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,411
( laughter )
248
00:13:04,949 --> 00:13:08,519
I loved you
in "Sunset Boulevard."
249
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,021
( laughter )
250
00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:15,292
Okay, think think.
251
00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:19,129
I gotta get through that dinner
without Elton recognizing me.
252
00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:20,898
I need a disguise.
253
00:13:22,934 --> 00:13:24,735
Yetta?
254
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:28,739
Yetta:
What?
255
00:13:28,740 --> 00:13:31,675
When you coming out of there?
256
00:13:31,676 --> 00:13:36,079
Yetta: I can't decide whether
to vote for Nixon or Kennedy.
257
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,981
( laughter )
258
00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:45,088
Give me that wig, old woman.
259
00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:49,126
( Fighting and speaking
at the same time )
260
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:58,335
Oh, my God. This is just like
261
00:13:58,336 --> 00:14:02,173
Patty Duke and Susan Hayward
in "The Valley of the Dolls."
262
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,407
( laughter )
263
00:14:05,043 --> 00:14:06,878
You'll have to excuse them.
264
00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:10,247
( laughter )
265
00:14:10,248 --> 00:14:12,883
They don't know how to act
in front of celebrities.
266
00:14:12,884 --> 00:14:14,184
( laughter )
267
00:14:21,059 --> 00:14:23,360
( applause )
268
00:14:31,336 --> 00:14:34,739
Elton, Elton, wonderful film,
wonderful.
269
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:37,107
And, David,
first-class directing job.
270
00:14:37,108 --> 00:14:39,009
It must have been
271
00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:42,313
quite a challenge to maintain
control of the piece and yet
272
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:46,684
allow the vérité style to flow.
273
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:48,652
Who is this guy?
274
00:14:48,653 --> 00:14:51,222
He gives a ton of money
to the foundation.
275
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:54,358
Yes, it was.
276
00:14:57,195 --> 00:15:00,764
So, Maxwell, you didn't come
alone tonight, did you?
277
00:15:00,765 --> 00:15:03,867
No, Elton, actually
I'm taking the opportunity
278
00:15:03,868 --> 00:15:08,238
to use this evening
as a sort of a first date.
279
00:15:08,239 --> 00:15:13,144
Well, that's very flattering,
but you know I'm involved.
280
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:15,946
( laughter )
281
00:15:15,947 --> 00:15:17,581
No!
282
00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:21,685
No, no.
283
00:15:21,686 --> 00:15:26,023
No no. No no no.
She's in the ladies' room.
284
00:15:26,024 --> 00:15:28,993
And quite a knockout, I may say.
285
00:15:31,262 --> 00:15:33,764
( laughter )
286
00:15:47,679 --> 00:15:49,980
Hello.
287
00:15:49,981 --> 00:15:52,316
Here she is. Argh!
288
00:15:52,317 --> 00:15:54,051
( laughter )
289
00:16:01,192 --> 00:16:04,995
Oh, Elton John,
I am such a big fan of yours.
290
00:16:04,996 --> 00:16:08,131
Hi, I am Fran Fine.
And that movie!
291
00:16:08,132 --> 00:16:12,203
"Tantrums and Tiaras."
It's sure to be a classic.
292
00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,171
- Oh, Fran,
- Yes.
293
00:16:14,172 --> 00:16:16,440
You look awfully familiar.
294
00:16:16,441 --> 00:16:17,908
Have we ever met?
295
00:16:17,909 --> 00:16:20,277
No no no, that's impossible.
296
00:16:20,278 --> 00:16:23,814
Man. Those glasses,
they are fantastic.
297
00:16:23,815 --> 00:16:26,116
No no no.
298
00:16:26,117 --> 00:16:29,086
May I see you for a moment?
299
00:16:29,087 --> 00:16:33,390
Oh, yeah, just a sec, honey. Tell me,
Elton, whatever happened to that Kiki...
300
00:16:33,391 --> 00:16:34,491
Aah!
301
00:16:34,492 --> 00:16:37,027
( laughter )
302
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,332
Now I know why
she's so familiar.
303
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,634
I have that jacket.
304
00:16:44,635 --> 00:16:45,902
( laughter )
305
00:16:48,172 --> 00:16:50,807
Would you kindly tell me what
the hell is going on?
306
00:16:50,808 --> 00:16:53,444
Why are
you in this ridiculous disguise?
307
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:56,680
Well, I'm not going to tell you,
because you're just going to get mad.
308
00:16:56,681 --> 00:16:59,115
( Yelling )
No, I...
309
00:16:59,116 --> 00:17:00,217
No, I'm not.
310
00:17:00,218 --> 00:17:02,986
( laughter )
311
00:17:02,987 --> 00:17:04,355
See?
312
00:17:10,628 --> 00:17:13,897
You?
You're the "Yoo hoo" lady?
313
00:17:13,898 --> 00:17:15,899
( laughter )
314
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:18,235
Shh.
315
00:17:18,236 --> 00:17:21,338
You're the raving lunatic
everyone's talking about?
316
00:17:21,339 --> 00:17:22,339
Come on,
we're getting out of here.
317
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:24,175
Ow. Wait a minute.
318
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:27,511
You might still get him to do your show.
He didn't recognize me.
319
00:17:27,512 --> 00:17:30,915
Right now, he just thinks you're just
some guy with a Estelle Getty fetish.
320
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:33,184
( laughter )
321
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:38,655
You know, Elton, Mr. Sheffield
has this fabulous new musical
322
00:17:38,656 --> 00:17:42,059
that you would be perfect for.
Why don't you tell him about it?
323
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:46,296
Ah, yes, right,
yes, yeah, right...
324
00:17:46,297 --> 00:17:50,568
Yes, Elton,
it's a rock musical and...
325
00:17:54,105 --> 00:17:56,406
the...
326
00:17:56,407 --> 00:17:58,108
You're eating a flower!
327
00:17:58,109 --> 00:18:01,811
( laughter )
328
00:18:01,812 --> 00:18:04,648
So, this is the first date
for you two?
329
00:18:04,649 --> 00:18:07,751
Actually, we have been together
for four years,
330
00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:09,553
but we just felt
that it was time.
331
00:18:09,554 --> 00:18:11,054
Waiter's hand.
332
00:18:11,055 --> 00:18:12,322
( laughter )
333
00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:19,095
Meanwhile, this elastic waistband is so
tight it's cutting off my circulation.
334
00:18:19,096 --> 00:18:21,532
I can't even feel my own tuchus.
335
00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,700
Elton's tuchus.
336
00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:25,735
( laughter )
337
00:18:31,209 --> 00:18:35,378
I think it's going very well,
don't you agree?
338
00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:36,780
( laughter )
339
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,628
There you are.
Where did you disappear tonight?
340
00:18:51,629 --> 00:18:56,233
Well, I did what Maxwell said. Apparently
I'm the only one who cares about his kids.
341
00:18:56,234 --> 00:18:59,203
What are you talking about? Margaret
took the children for ice cream.
342
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:01,805
I'm tired.
343
00:19:01,806 --> 00:19:05,876
It's no wonder with all
that running you did, Sydney.
344
00:19:05,877 --> 00:19:07,244
He kept trying
to get away from me
345
00:19:07,245 --> 00:19:09,479
to go into "George of
the Jungle," but I got him.
346
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,049
( laughter )
347
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:15,752
Oh, my God, you insane woman.
You've kidnapped someone's child.
348
00:19:15,753 --> 00:19:18,322
( laughter )
349
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,756
What?
350
00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:23,360
There is no Sydney.
I made him up, you lunatic.
351
00:19:23,361 --> 00:19:25,429
Oh, my God,
we're going to prison.
352
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:27,864
I stole someone's child?
353
00:19:27,865 --> 00:19:30,000
I thought you were trying
to help me?
354
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:33,470
Oh, you baboon.
Why would I help you?
355
00:19:33,471 --> 00:19:37,374
No no, this is all my fault.
I've got to call that theater.
356
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:42,078
Okay, you can go.
Here's 10 for you
357
00:19:42,079 --> 00:19:44,247
and 10 for your mom.
358
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:48,351
But you promised us 50.
359
00:19:48,352 --> 00:19:49,352
( laughter )
360
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:56,627
And if you'd remembered the part about
needing your insulin, you'd be getting 50.
361
00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,161
( laughter )
362
00:20:01,899 --> 00:20:04,901
Well, Max, it's been a pleasure.
363
00:20:04,902 --> 00:20:08,105
Oh, Elton, please, before you
go, would you mind autographing
364
00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:10,807
your new CD,
"The Big Picture," for me?
365
00:20:10,808 --> 00:20:11,842
Of course.
366
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:13,710
Do you happen
to have one on you?
367
00:20:13,711 --> 00:20:15,679
( laughter )
368
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:20,251
I'm not the sort of artist that
goes around carrying his own CDs,
369
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:21,986
but lookie here.
370
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:23,887
Oh. Oh.
371
00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:30,260
And, do you need one
for an aunt maybe?
372
00:20:30,261 --> 00:20:31,595
Or an optician?
373
00:20:31,596 --> 00:20:33,129
( laughs )
374
00:20:35,332 --> 00:20:38,569
Well, Elton, David,
good luck with the film.
375
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:41,038
And about that show of yours,
Max, sounds great.
376
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:42,172
Let's talk about it Tuesday.
377
00:20:42,173 --> 00:20:44,241
Oh, wonderful wonderful!
378
00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:46,710
Bye bye, nice meeting you.
379
00:20:46,711 --> 00:20:48,712
( Applause )
380
00:20:50,081 --> 00:20:51,815
That went very well.
381
00:20:51,816 --> 00:20:54,384
I'm telling you,
Maxwell Sheffield,
382
00:20:54,385 --> 00:20:57,987
I am good for you.
383
00:20:57,988 --> 00:21:01,157
So I take it,
there's gonna be a second date?
384
00:21:01,158 --> 00:21:03,560
Mm, you bet.
385
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:09,799
Oh, Elton forgot
to autograph the CDs.
386
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:14,304
Oh, Elton, Elton, yoo hoo.
387
00:21:14,305 --> 00:21:16,773
( laughter )
388
00:21:24,115 --> 00:21:25,616
( applause )
389
00:21:28,319 --> 00:21:31,788
Now, would you sign one
for my sister-in-law, Frida?
390
00:21:31,789 --> 00:21:34,190
( laughter )
391
00:21:34,191 --> 00:21:38,428
And one for Hadassah Rego Park,
392
00:21:38,429 --> 00:21:43,032
and just a few
generic Glenn Close.
393
00:21:43,033 --> 00:21:45,169
I'll fill in the greetings.
394
00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:47,137
( laughter )
395
00:21:51,676 --> 00:21:53,409
Would you like a sour ball?
396
00:21:53,410 --> 00:21:55,946
( laughter )
28793
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