All language subtitles for The.nanny.S04E21.DVDRip.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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I don't know why I applied
to Princeton.

I'll never get in
with my SAT scores.

Honey, if you want to get in,
forget your SAT scores,

's TOW.

Fran, I have to go to an
out-of-town college.

If I stay in this house, I'm not
gonna have any social life.

Oh, it's the house?

You know, it's amazing.
You win three Tony's

and suddenly everyone's
returning your phone calls.

Miss Fine, you'll never guess

who's agreed to star
in my new show.

Ah, don't tell me it's the woman
that was snubbed

by the Academy for Best Director

for the Best Motion Picture
ever made, Yentl.

Miss Fine,
let me ask you something.

If Barbara Streisand
and your mother

were both drowning,
who would you save?

Well, I'd save my mother.

Barbara can walk on water.

I give up.
Well, I got Morgan Faulkner.

- Oh, my God,
- Mmm.

- I love Morgan Faulkner.
- Mmm.

Morgan Faulkner? Fah!

I went to high school with her

when she was Marcy Feldman.

Well, she happens
to be a great actress.

And one hell of a magician.

She made half her nose disappear
between 10th and 11th grade.

Now you behave yourself,
she'll be here in a few minutes.

Oh, well, I'm going upstairs.

I can't stand
to be around people

who are ashamed of who they are.

Oh, don't you even
want to see her?

And have her find out
I'm a nanny?

Have you gone mental?

We were the most popular
girls in high school

and very competitive.

What happened between you?

Well, I'm a maid
and she's on the cover of Elle,

I'd say we have a winner.

♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing Queens ♪

♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out
on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell
make-up, but father saw more ♪

♪ She had style, she had
flair, she was there ♪

♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪

♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now the father finds
her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C.♪

♪ And the kids are
actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She is the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪

Sylvia has invited us over
for the Jewish holiday.

Uh, now is this the holiday
Miss Fine said

you can't eat all day
then stuff yourself

or the one where you light
candles then stuff yourself

or the one where you build
a straw hut then stuff yourself?

I believe it's the one
where you hide crackers

from small children
then stuff yourself.

- Ah, Passover.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, Maxwell, I don't want to
look a gift horse in the mouth...

Then don't floss in the mirror.

Why is Nanny Fine hiding
from Morgan Faulkner?

Uh, they were
at high school together

and Miss Fine's a little
embarrassed about being a nanny.

Ah. What about you?

Aren't you embarrassed
about being a butler?

I don't know Morgan Faulkner.

No I mean in general.

( Doorbell rings )

Morgan, do come in.

Oh, I am so thrilled
to be working with you.

Wait two weeks and see
if you say that.

( All laugh )

I'm his partner, C.C. Babcock.

It's a pleasure.

Wait five minutes
and see if you say that.

Oh.

Miss Faulkner I am
such a big fan.

I got your autograph
at the Whisky Bar?

- The Whisky Bar?
- I'm sorry I don't remember.

Oh, why would you?
I was never there.

- Your daughter's very beautiful.
- Mm.

Is there a Mrs. Sheffield?

Are my ears burning?

Morgan.

It's Fran.

Fran Fine.

From Hillcrest High.

It's fine.
Morgan meets so many people.

Well why doesn't she
recognize me?

She's the one
that got everything changed.

( Giggles )

Oh, that Fran Fine.

Don't tell me
you're Mrs. Sheffield.

Well let's just say we don't
need to sign a piece of paper

but the kids adore me, I live
here, you fill in the blanks.

So you're the Nanny.

And the blanks are filled.

Ma,
how come you're cooking for 12

when Passover's a week away?

What Passover?

I did five minutes
of a Jane Fonda tape.

I feel lightheaded.

Ma,

do you ever question the choices
that you make in life?

Sometimes I'm sitting across
the table from your father.

- Yeah?
- And I look at his face.

- Yeah.
- And I wonder,

is he gonna finish
that lamb chop?

I'm wondering
what Jane Fonda tape

you were exercising to. Klute?

Ma, put the fork down
for two seconds.

I'm very upset about something.

Mr. Sheffield
hired Morgan Faulkner

to star in his new play.

Darling, what's bothering you?

That she's a big star
and you're a maid?

Mamalah,

don't look into
other people's windows.

You never know what someone's
life is truly like.

You see the woman
across the alley?

Hmm?

For years,
I envied her fancy apartment.

And then one day I realized,

she was born blind.

Well, what makes you think that?

Her bedroom window looks
directly into ours

and she has never even looked.

Ma, she wasn't born blind,
she made herself that way.

Mmm,

what's cooking?

Oh, I've been experimenting with
recipes for your mothers Seder.

I've made kreplach, kneidlach,

tzimmes, and gribenes.

Yummy.

Boy, Niles, you're really taking
this seriously, aren't you?

Oy,
I've been eating like a chazir.

My pants I can't zip and when
are you getting married already?

You know it takes a lot more to
being Jewish than just cooking,

there's a whole other wiener
you got to schnitzel, mister.

Mmm.

Where's Mr. Sheffield?

He's with Miss Fancy Schmancy
movie star big shot.

You know, this is getting scary.

Quick, eat a piece of ham,
play a sport.

You're far more sanguine
about Miss Faulkner

than you were yesterday.

Well, first of all,
welcome back.

Second of all, I'm trying.

You know, I don't like
to look through windows.

Right. Alright, thank you.

Just wait till you
see this marquee,

Morgan, it just went up.

My name better be
above the title.

Of course it is. I wouldn't
have it any other way.

Excuse me.

Hi, Morgan,
I didn't know you were here.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Do you need to clean in here?

For your information,
I don't clean.

I'm not even a real nanny.

I'm in the witness
protection program.

Oh, come on, Fran,
you don't need to pretend.

It's just me.

Two time Academy Award winning
Morgan Faulkner.

Did I mention I just
did a pilot?

Really? What airline?

No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't look through
windows, you know.

Your life seems very glamorous

but I'm sure you
live like a gypsy.

You don't even have a real home.

Actually I have a compound
in Malibu.

But you're lonely.
You don't have any real friends.

Well, I don't get to see
Demi and Uma as often

because I'm dating a Kennedy.

Does your mother live
at the compound?

Well I hardly ever see her.
She moved to Boca.

Would you fill out
this Lotto card for me, please?

Fran, I got rejected
from Princeton and Vassar.

Oh, sweetie, come here.

Maggie,
if it makes you feel any better,

I didn't even go to college.

Really?

I didn't go to college either.

( Cries )

I know what that girl needs.
I just lost my assistant.

It's a great job. It's exciting.
She'll meet celebrities.

Wait a minute.

You can't give a kid
like that a job.

Not when I've known you
since high school.

Can't you throw me a bone?

( laughs )

( Fran imitates
Morgan laughing )

I can't believe Morgan took away

the only daughter I never had.

How many Shiksa Goddesses
do they think I got in me?

You know, for dessert
at your mother's Passover,

I thought I'd bring over
some nice fresh fruit.

You're gonna slide a cheesecake
under that aren't you?

Oh, you're not going to want
a rich dessert

after such a heavy meal.

Yeah, we are.

Niles, take a look at this
poster for the show, hmm?

Doesn't Morgan
look incredibly...

( whistles )

Old. Old.

Oh, I want to see.

Oh, she looks gorgeous.

Ooh, is it retouched?

No.
Err, yes.

Oh, Maxwell, I just saw the
posters of Morgan. They are...

C.C., C.C., umm
( clears his throat )

Miss Fine is a little sensitive
about Morgan right now.

Oh, thank you.

Doesn't she look stunning?

I mean, hot, sexy.

( laughs )

Why are you being so hurtful?

I've got nothing.
I make minimum wage.

I don't have a man in my life.

I'm probably going
to die alone like a dog.

Here.

Oh, Nanny Fine, I am so sorry.

Oh, I feel terrible.

Got guilt?

Aw, I would have made
such a good mother.

Oh, look at this.
It's almost 9 o'clock.

What kind of an
irresponsible idiot

keeps a kid out on a school
night? I'll never know.

Fran, I'm going to Eric's.
Be back in a couple of hours.

Okay, honey, have fun.

Miss Fine, do you think
your anger and dismay

could possibly be coming
from a belief

that Morgan has something
that you haven't?

Like what? Other than "it all."

This isn't about me and Morgan.

Ever since Maggie took this job,
I never see her.

I have nothing to do all day.

You could take care of my
other two children.

Nah.

I'm distancing myself from them.

I owe them money.

Oh, Dad this job is so exciting.

Morgan is fabulous.
I'm learning so much from her.

She is killing me!

Now, now, Miss Fine.

This job is the best thing
that could have happened to her.

Cool. 'Cause I'm going
to Europe with her

and I'm not going to college.

She's killing me!

Look at this.

I just figured out how to add
10 more seats in the theatre.

Lose the damn wheelchair row.

My daughter is not
giving up college

to go to Europe as
Morgan's gopher.

Why would anyone want
to spend their entire life

waiting on someone hand
and foot like a bloody lackey.

For the glory, sir.

Would you look at the beak
Morgan had in High School?

You know, her first acting job

was sitting on
Baretta's shoulder.

( Both laughing )

How is Margaret is gonna
make anything of herself

if she doesn't go to college?

I know four years at Oxford
opened a lot of doors for me.

Now, if Margaret isn't gonna
listen to me,

I'm gonna go down there
and make Morgan fire her.

Well, you could lose her forever
if you do that.

C.C.,
my daughter isn't going to...

Not the string bean. Morgan.

Mr. Sheffield,
I'll go and take care of it.

I mean, you're not gonna
get Morgan to fire Maggie.

The whole concept
of firing eludes you.

Look who you've got
on the payroll,

Harpo, Groucho and Drano.

( Knocking at the door )

Would you please tell his guy
that I am not a hooker?

It's okay, I know her.

Hmm.

( Knocking at the door )

Oh, I'm sorry,
did you want to come in?

Yes.

Look I'm going to make
this short and sweet.

Oh,
Evita's playing on pay-per-view.

Can we talk in a
couple of hours?

Fran, I need to get down
to rehearsal.

What's on your mind?

Well.

Mr. Sheffield wants Maggie
to go to college.

He does not want her schlepping
around after you.

Personally,
I think she's a blonde heiress

with legs up to here

so higher education
is no es necesito.

But it's your job
to make Mr. Sheffield happy.

Oh, from your mouth
to God's ears.

He is cute.

And impotent, a tragic irony.

Ah, this takes me right back
to high school.

I can see why we never
got along.

Well, you were always acting
superior to me.

Bossing me around all the time.

Oh, that is ridiculous.

Zip me up.

( Knocking at the door )
Get that.

Oh, wait a minute.

We're going right back
into our old patterns.

You don't want cracked crab?

Alright,
maybe this one last time.

Hmmm, yummy.

Fran, I don't know
what the big deal is.

Maggie won't be an
assistant forever.

She'll make connections,
she'll go places.

If I listened to my father,

I'd be working in
that bridal shop in Flushing.

Wow, you know,
you and me, we got out.

But Maggie is not the mover
and shaker that we are.

Mmm.

Hi.

Mmm, sweetie.

Hello, angel.

Oh, this job is so cool.

Today, I met Woody Allen.

Oh, is that exciting!

You stay away from him.

Now listen, honey,

I know that you think that this
job beats going to college,

but I just hope that someday you
don't regret it.

Well, how do I know I'm going
to regret it?

I can't dwell on all the
negative, horrible things

that might happen in the future.

I keep forgetting you're
not Jewish.

Happy Pesach.

So did we say that right?

Beautiful.

I hope this brisket goes with
what you're serving.

Oh, it's perfect
with potato latkes,

assuming that you brought some.

I just want to thank you Sylvia
for inviting me.

Oh, please Niles,
you're like family.

Is there anything else I can do?

Well, you prepared the food.

I guess it's only right
that you have the pleasure

of serving it, too.

Would you start
with the gefilte fish

and maybe you'll make a little
radish rosette?

Sweetheart, before you make
yourself comfortable,

would you bring Uncle Morty
his holiday hair?

Hi, everybody.
Mr. Sheffield, happy Passover.

Miss Fine, where's Margaret?
Why isn't she with you?

Well, let's see.
Going to a club with Johnny Depp

or sucking on white fish bones.

Oh, I see, she's going
to finish out the day,

then she's fired
and going to college.

Oh, well, actually I sort of
let her make that decision.

You what?
Are you out of your mind?

Alright tomorrow I'll fire her
but first I'll practice on you.

Shhh.

This is the holiday
where we don't yell,

and then stuff ourselves.

Why on this night,
do we eat bitter herbs?

To symbolize the bitter
and cruel way

we were treated under Pharaoh.

Why on this night, do we
dip our foods in saltwater?

To remind us
of the tears we shed.

Why on this night,
do we recline on a pillow?

Because once we were slaves

and now we are a free people.

Oh, that was beautiful,
sweetheart.

You forgot the last question.

Oh.

When is Daddy going to marry
my daughter already?

That question was to remind us
of my suffering.

( Knocking at the door )

Why don't I get that?

Would you?

If she thinks I'm coming
for Rosh Hashanah,

she's got another thing coming.

Hi.

Margaret.

- Maggie.
- What are you doing here?

Why aren't you working?

Oh, actually I quit.

I thought about what Fran said.

Oh, honey. What'd I say?

Well, you know, how
I'm a blonde heiress and...

Fast forward, fast forward.

But that I don't want to regret
not going to college someday.

- Aw. Did you tape Evita?
- Mm-hmm.

I'm so glad, sweetheart.

Here, sit down.

You're rehired Harpo.

You know what,
she is such a slave driver.

I walk in there,
she wants me to turn around,

drive to the airport
in rush hour.

- Ugh. -To pick up Barbara
Streisand and James...

Brolin? Give me the keys!
Give me the keys!

It's the miracle of Passover.

The Messiah is coming.

( All groan )

Does everyone eat like this on
the Jewish holiday, Miss Fine?

Why do you think we wandered
the desert for 40 years?

We were walking off the meal.

I'll never eat again.

- I'm so full.
- I can't even move.

You know,

call me crazy but I could go
for a little sweet.

You know, I could, I could go
for a little bissel cheesecake.

Hmm, boy, makes sense.

( Jazz music playing )