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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:04,669
( Jazz music playing )
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Has anyone seen
my Tropical Getaways brochure?
3
00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,775
You know, B,
you didn't have to steal it.
4
00:00:10,776 --> 00:00:11,943
I was gonna donate it
5
00:00:11,944 --> 00:00:13,904
to the library
under your mattress.
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00:00:15,314 --> 00:00:18,049
Wait a minute,
this isn't my trig book.
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Yeah.
8
00:00:19,885 --> 00:00:22,487
Uh, guys come up
with the lamest excuses.
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00:00:22,488 --> 00:00:24,021
Oh, yeah.
Like when you told me
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00:00:24,022 --> 00:00:26,123
that you had that whisker burn
all over your face
11
00:00:26,124 --> 00:00:27,358
from kissing my mother?
12
00:00:27,359 --> 00:00:28,560
Hello.
13
00:00:29,695 --> 00:00:31,263
Fran, that really happened.
14
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Oh, well,
I'll give you that one.
15
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I wish I could get away
for the holidays,
16
00:00:39,138 --> 00:00:41,138
but I just have
so much work to do.
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00:00:41,139 --> 00:00:43,842
♪ Cheers, gotta keep that
nose so bright. ♪
18
00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:45,777
♪ Don't you guide
a sleigh that night? ♪
19
00:00:47,079 --> 00:00:48,713
Ah, ha ha.
Oh.
20
00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:50,748
( Coughs )
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I've gotta get that flu shot.
22
00:00:53,886 --> 00:00:55,153
Fran, does this mean
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00:00:55,154 --> 00:00:57,388
that you won't be
with us for Christmas?
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00:00:57,389 --> 00:00:58,823
No, sweetie.
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00:00:58,824 --> 00:01:02,793
Your father and I are taking
separate vacations this year.
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00:01:02,794 --> 00:01:04,629
You know, sometimes,
when two people
27
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:06,664
spend a lot of time together,
28
00:01:06,665 --> 00:01:08,800
and one's not willing to commit,
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00:01:10,869 --> 00:01:12,170
the other has to take the money
30
00:01:12,171 --> 00:01:14,139
that she would've
spent on her trousseau,
31
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:16,274
and drown her sorrows
in Bahama Mamas.
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00:01:17,743 --> 00:01:19,077
You know, it's okay, Fran.
33
00:01:19,078 --> 00:01:21,412
It's not like
you and daddy are married.
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00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:22,613
Or dating, or even...
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00:01:22,614 --> 00:01:23,882
Babbling, sweetie.
36
00:01:25,017 --> 00:01:26,918
Miss Fine, this is ridiculous.
37
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We don't have to take
separate vacations.
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00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:32,090
Look, I really think that
it'll be better for us.
39
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:33,692
And I don't wanna
argue about it,
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00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:34,860
'cause my mind's made up.
41
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:36,061
Well, it's a shame.
42
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,762
I was thinking of
chartering a yacht
43
00:01:37,763 --> 00:01:40,065
and cruising off
the Greek islands.
44
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,266
Well, nothing's set in stone.
45
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:46,404
Well, I'd like to discuss this
with you in private.
46
00:01:46,405 --> 00:01:48,206
If that's all right
with you two.
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- Er, are you talkin' to me?
- Oh, did you say something?
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00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:53,211
Come on, let's go to my office.
49
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,147
Whoa, Nellie!
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00:01:56,148 --> 00:01:57,682
Don't you know,
it's terribly impolite
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00:01:57,683 --> 00:01:59,751
to listen in
on other people's conversations?
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00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:02,921
This, from the man
who posed for the RCA dog.
53
00:02:05,891 --> 00:02:08,026
Now, let go of me,
I don't wanna miss this.
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00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,261
All right,
but be careful, I just...
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( screams )
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( glass breaking )
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waxed the floor.
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00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:22,673
♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing Queens ♪
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00:02:22,674 --> 00:02:24,075
♪ Till her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪
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00:02:24,076 --> 00:02:25,643
♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪
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00:02:25,644 --> 00:02:27,678
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
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00:02:27,679 --> 00:02:31,115
♪ She was out
on her fanny ♪
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00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:33,318
♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪
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00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,887
♪ She was there to sell
makeup, but father saw more ♪
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00:02:35,888 --> 00:02:37,989
♪ She had style, she had
flair, she was there ♪
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00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:41,859
♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪
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00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:44,696
♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪
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00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:46,998
♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪
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00:02:46,999 --> 00:02:48,199
♪ Now the father finds
her beguiling ♪
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00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,767
♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
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00:02:49,768 --> 00:02:51,136
♪ And the kids are
actually smiling ♪
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00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,237
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
73
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,772
♪ She is the lady in red ♪
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00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:57,975
♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪
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00:02:57,976 --> 00:02:59,911
♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪
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00:02:59,912 --> 00:03:01,646
♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪
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00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:07,785
I just don't understand
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00:03:07,786 --> 00:03:10,654
why you're suddenly taking
a separate vacation.
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00:03:10,655 --> 00:03:12,390
What is the big deal?
80
00:03:12,391 --> 00:03:14,759
It's not like we're one of those
needy, co-dependent couples
81
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,227
that have to spend
every waking moment
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00:03:16,228 --> 00:03:17,862
with each other, right?
83
00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:18,863
Where're you going?
84
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:23,934
I just think the holidays are
a time for us to be together.
85
00:03:23,935 --> 00:03:26,370
Like a, a warm, loving family.
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00:03:26,371 --> 00:03:27,839
Well, I got news for you.
87
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,676
A warm, loving family requires
a legally-binding certificate,
88
00:03:31,677 --> 00:03:32,977
registered with the State.
89
00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:33,978
And Pottery Barn.
90
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:40,151
Besides, what is this
unnatural obsession with you
91
00:03:40,152 --> 00:03:42,787
not wanting me
to take a vacation by myself?
92
00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:44,756
Oh, well,
now I have absolutely no idea
93
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,257
what you're talking about.
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00:03:46,258 --> 00:03:48,193
Oh, ho, no?
95
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:51,328
I'm taking the entire family
on a cruise.
96
00:03:51,329 --> 00:03:52,363
Where're you goin'?
97
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:53,764
The Caribbean.
98
00:03:53,765 --> 00:03:55,800
That's fabulous!
99
00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:57,268
Just like me.
100
00:03:57,269 --> 00:03:59,604
I know, we're coming with you.
101
00:03:59,605 --> 00:04:00,638
What?
102
00:04:03,175 --> 00:04:05,677
Now, Miss Fine,
wasn't it your idea,
103
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:08,980
that Brighton should have
a big, Bar Mitzvah like to-do?
104
00:04:08,981 --> 00:04:12,951
Yeah, Bar Mitzvah on land.
105
00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:16,654
We're desert people,
we don't like to get wet.
106
00:04:16,655 --> 00:04:18,590
That's why we parted
the Red Sea.
107
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,060
Huh.
Well, hmm, that, well...
108
00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:24,829
Why can't you just be honest,
Mr. Sheffield?
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00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:28,966
The reason why you don't want me
going on a vacation alone,
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00:04:28,967 --> 00:04:32,403
is because you are terrified
that I'm gonna meet someone.
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00:04:32,404 --> 00:04:34,973
- Huh. -Yes, you are always
sabotaging my dates.
112
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:36,507
Oh, that is ridiculous.
113
00:04:36,508 --> 00:04:37,842
Every one of your dates
I've been on,
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00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:39,723
I've behaved like
a perfect gentleman.
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You know, Maxwell,
you're welcome to join us.
116
00:04:44,049 --> 00:04:46,051
Oh.
Ah, well, that sounds...
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00:04:48,787 --> 00:04:52,524
Mm, terribly inconvenient,
couldn't possibly. Good night.
118
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:54,625
Are you sure?
119
00:04:54,626 --> 00:04:56,160
Well, actually, ah...
120
00:04:58,463 --> 00:04:59,597
What kind of car does he drive?
121
00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:01,099
- A limo.
- Oh, town car?
122
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,768
Stretch, it's enormous.
123
00:05:03,769 --> 00:05:04,769
Bigger than mine?
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00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,708
If it's so important to you,
125
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:11,142
whip yours out of the garage,
126
00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:13,545
and we'll have
a limo measuring contest.
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00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:17,582
All right, fine.
128
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:20,552
Take your vacation
in some tacky resort,
129
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:22,086
with it's tequila-shooter night,
130
00:05:22,087 --> 00:05:25,523
and, oh, yes,
a big Macarena marathon.
131
00:05:27,492 --> 00:05:28,993
For your information,
132
00:05:28,994 --> 00:05:31,629
this place happens to be
nothing like that.
133
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:33,631
It's very, very classy.
134
00:05:33,632 --> 00:05:36,034
Oh, look, they've got
a strip limbo contest.
135
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:40,030
If that touches,
is he disqualified?
136
00:05:41,773 --> 00:05:43,474
Maybe from the contest.
137
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:50,547
Oh, my God!
138
00:05:50,548 --> 00:05:54,118
- This is beautiful, it's paradise.
- Oh, Fran, oh.
139
00:05:54,119 --> 00:05:56,087
Hola, and welcome, ladies.
140
00:05:56,088 --> 00:05:57,588
My name is Rico.
141
00:05:57,589 --> 00:05:59,057
Please, ladies, after you.
142
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:01,426
Oh, well, you know,
Rico, in our country,
143
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:03,428
it's customary
for the man to go first.
144
00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,869
- Mm-hmm.
- Muy bien.
145
00:06:06,631 --> 00:06:08,466
God bless America.
146
00:06:10,669 --> 00:06:12,637
See, Fran, aren't you glad
you came with me?
147
00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:13,838
( Sighs )
148
00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:15,439
You wouldn't be
able to flirt with Rico,
149
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,508
- with Mr. Sheffield all over you.
- Mm.
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00:06:17,509 --> 00:06:19,610
Dancing,
smearing you with baby oil,
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00:06:19,611 --> 00:06:21,946
taking you
for cocktails at sunset.
152
00:06:23,949 --> 00:06:25,449
You know, Val,
this is why my mother
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00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:27,210
never wanted me
to play with you.
154
00:06:28,687 --> 00:06:29,821
Where's the paint?
155
00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:31,522
It's down there.
156
00:06:31,523 --> 00:06:32,723
Why?
157
00:06:34,726 --> 00:06:36,527
Well, you were in such
a rush to get up here,
158
00:06:36,528 --> 00:06:38,929
- I felt so restless.
- It doesn't matter!
159
00:06:41,566 --> 00:06:43,767
Let's just go down and get it.
160
00:06:43,768 --> 00:06:46,204
Now, unlock your lever
when I say, "Three".
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00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:48,045
Have you got that, Val?
Three.
162
00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:50,775
( Loud thud )
163
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Aah! Oh, my God!
164
00:06:53,212 --> 00:06:55,079
Val!
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00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:58,750
Fran, look at all these people,
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00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,551
we're never gonna get
on the first bus.
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00:07:00,552 --> 00:07:02,686
Oh, don't worry,
I'll take care of that.
168
00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:06,590
Can you believe that gorgeous,
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00:07:06,591 --> 00:07:09,126
two-bedroom apartment
on the corner there,
170
00:07:09,127 --> 00:07:12,897
for only 400 bucks a month?
171
00:07:12,898 --> 00:07:14,398
( Clamoring )
172
00:07:22,908 --> 00:07:24,509
Oh, Val,
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00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:26,477
could you believe
how stupid those people...
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00:07:26,478 --> 00:07:28,746
Val?
175
00:07:28,747 --> 00:07:30,781
Oh, my God, a roach!
176
00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:32,083
A roach!
Oh!
177
00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:34,044
Well,
take your shoe off and kill it.
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00:07:39,124 --> 00:07:40,925
Oh, Val,
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00:07:40,926 --> 00:07:44,895
- this breeze is just fabulous.
- Oh, I know.
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00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:46,460
Come on, let's get out
of these bulky clothes.
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00:07:46,472 --> 00:07:46,997
Yeah.
182
00:07:46,998 --> 00:07:49,133
Man on PA: Attention guests,
a small tropical depression
183
00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:50,601
might be heading for the island,
184
00:07:50,602 --> 00:07:53,604
so there will be free cocktail
inside the Lido pavilion.
185
00:07:53,605 --> 00:07:54,906
- Ooh!
- Free cocktails. Oh, oh!
186
00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:58,242
( Strong wind blowing )
187
00:07:58,243 --> 00:07:59,323
Okay, that cancelled.
188
00:08:02,414 --> 00:08:04,482
- ( strong wind blowing )
- Get in, get in!
189
00:08:09,554 --> 00:08:11,222
Mr. Sheffield,
190
00:08:11,223 --> 00:08:14,124
a terrible hurricane
is gonna hit the island
191
00:08:14,125 --> 00:08:16,127
that Franny is on.
192
00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:18,830
My baby is gonna die.
193
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,566
Oh, Sylvia.
194
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,902
Hold me,
don't be such a gentile.
195
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:28,606
S-so, now I know,
I-I've heard,
196
00:08:28,607 --> 00:08:31,442
but it-it's, it's gonna be
all right. Come on.
197
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:32,776
It's times like this,
198
00:08:32,777 --> 00:08:36,180
you look up to God and ask why.
199
00:08:36,181 --> 00:08:37,615
Why?
200
00:08:37,616 --> 00:08:40,551
Well, now,
we can't ask why, Sylvia.
201
00:08:40,552 --> 00:08:41,619
It's nature.
202
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:43,120
It's... It's random, it's...
203
00:08:43,121 --> 00:08:46,090
No!
Why don't you marry my daughter?
204
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,663
She'd be home,
safe with us right now.
205
00:08:52,664 --> 00:08:55,533
Now, Sylvia,
I appreciate you're upset,
206
00:08:55,534 --> 00:08:57,468
but I'd prefer
not to discuss something
207
00:08:57,469 --> 00:09:00,871
that's really between
Miss Fine and myself.
208
00:09:00,872 --> 00:09:02,873
Make an exception.
209
00:09:02,874 --> 00:09:04,475
How often am I here?
210
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:11,448
Ah, here they are,
Naomi and Wynonna.
211
00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:16,420
Do I smell banana fritters
212
00:09:16,421 --> 00:09:18,923
with fresh fruit compote?
213
00:09:18,924 --> 00:09:19,924
No.
214
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:21,793
Could I?
215
00:09:24,963 --> 00:09:25,964
Ma!
216
00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:29,686
Miss Taylor,
I'd like you to meet my mother.
217
00:09:40,946 --> 00:09:42,479
Sylvia Fine.
218
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:47,785
This meeting bestows
an honor upon me,
219
00:09:47,786 --> 00:09:51,155
which is unparalleled
within my universe.
220
00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:56,627
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
221
00:09:59,497 --> 00:10:01,565
( Winds blowing )
222
00:10:05,070 --> 00:10:07,839
( thunder crashing )
223
00:10:31,496 --> 00:10:33,831
I told them no salt!
224
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,904
- Oh, my God, sun, sun.
- Aah!
225
00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:40,938
Aah, okay.
226
00:10:42,607 --> 00:10:44,141
- Ah!
- Ah!
227
00:10:44,142 --> 00:10:45,910
Oh, God!
228
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:47,778
Did I get anything?
229
00:10:47,779 --> 00:10:49,447
No!
230
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:51,015
Oy, Fran, I'm scared.
231
00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:53,251
This is like a real hurricane!
232
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:54,218
( Thunder rumbles )
233
00:10:54,219 --> 00:10:57,554
Calm down, Val!
234
00:10:57,555 --> 00:10:58,889
If it gets really bad,
235
00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:02,726
we can always tie ourselves
to something sturdy.
236
00:11:02,727 --> 00:11:04,167
- Oh.
- This'll do.
237
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,504
C.C.: If you hadn't
waxed the stupid floor,
238
00:11:13,505 --> 00:11:14,639
this never would've happened.
239
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,607
Oh, come on,
don't be such a baby.
240
00:11:16,608 --> 00:11:18,709
You're really getting
the hang of it.
241
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,412
( Motor whirring noises )
242
00:11:26,051 --> 00:11:27,685
I'm hungry.
243
00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:30,588
Well, it's your own fault
for not showing up for lunch.
244
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:33,090
I was waiting
in the dining room for hours.
245
00:11:33,091 --> 00:11:34,692
But I served upstairs
in the solarium,
246
00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:36,527
why didn't you...
247
00:11:36,528 --> 00:11:37,528
Oh.
248
00:11:40,365 --> 00:11:41,599
You wouldn't be able
to torture me like this
249
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,067
if I wasn't in this chair.
250
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:46,536
But ya are, Babs, ya are.
251
00:11:48,506 --> 00:11:49,673
Coffee?
252
00:11:49,674 --> 00:11:50,674
Yes, please.
253
00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:53,310
Yeow!
254
00:11:53,311 --> 00:11:54,845
This is ridiculous.
255
00:11:54,846 --> 00:11:57,086
I don't know why that
stupid store doesn't deliver.
256
00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:00,684
Oh, they do.
257
00:12:04,689 --> 00:12:07,024
Oh, dear,
I wonder if I can catch her.
258
00:12:11,129 --> 00:12:12,929
( Very quietly )
Oh, Miss Babcock.
259
00:12:17,202 --> 00:12:19,603
Maxwell, darling, is that you?
260
00:12:23,575 --> 00:12:26,043
( Whispering )
Shhh, don't turn around.
261
00:12:32,684 --> 00:12:34,585
( Exhales )
262
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,755
I'm yours.
263
00:12:41,025 --> 00:12:43,026
Tell me what you want me to do.
264
00:12:49,801 --> 00:12:51,761
( Whispering )
Cluck like a chicken.
265
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:01,645
What?
266
00:13:01,646 --> 00:13:03,486
( Whispering )
It turns me on.
267
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:11,855
( Clucking )
268
00:13:18,062 --> 00:13:20,664
( clucking )
269
00:13:23,001 --> 00:13:25,102
( clucking )
270
00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:29,707
( clucking )
271
00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:31,409
( screams )
272
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:38,482
- You, get out of my way.
- Ooh.
273
00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:39,816
Oh, oh, Niles.
274
00:13:39,817 --> 00:13:42,086
Oh, God, this thing is stuck,
how do I stop it?
275
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,620
Hold on, I'll get the manual.
276
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:44,788
( Whirring continues )
277
00:13:44,789 --> 00:13:46,156
Maxwell:
Niles, are you busy?
278
00:13:46,157 --> 00:13:47,197
Free as a bird, sir.
279
00:13:49,227 --> 00:13:51,796
Niles, Niles!
280
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:54,832
Niles!
281
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:55,866
Man on Radio: Hurricane
Diane continues to cut
282
00:13:55,867 --> 00:13:57,101
a path of destruction,
283
00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:58,502
and is bearing down
on the Caribbean.
284
00:13:58,503 --> 00:13:59,503
Stay tuned.
285
00:14:00,838 --> 00:14:03,440
Oh, Niles, I'm awfully worried.
286
00:14:03,441 --> 00:14:04,674
What if she dies?
287
00:14:04,675 --> 00:14:06,177
Oh, I'll feed her eventually,
sir,
288
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,478
I'm just screwing with her head.
289
00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:12,082
- I'm talking about Miss Fine.
- Oh.
290
00:14:12,083 --> 00:14:14,485
What if something happens
to her?
291
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:16,520
She'll never know
how I feel about her.
292
00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:19,657
No one knows.
293
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:21,192
No one?
294
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,193
Hello.
295
00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:25,196
Niles, what am I gonna do?
296
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,798
These costumes
are gonna be ghastly!
297
00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:28,732
Was C.C. right?
298
00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:30,634
Ha-ha-have I let
my judgment be impaired
299
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:32,102
by my feelings for Miss Fine?
300
00:14:32,103 --> 00:14:33,203
What feelings are those, sir?
301
00:14:33,204 --> 00:14:34,204
- Well, you know.
- No, I don't, sir.
302
00:14:34,205 --> 00:14:35,573
Oh, come on, Niles.
303
00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:38,476
Oh, but you'd feel so much
better if you just said it.
304
00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:40,077
Oh, perhaps you're right.
305
00:14:40,078 --> 00:14:43,080
Maybe I should
just admit that I...
306
00:14:43,081 --> 00:14:44,281
Knock, knock.
307
00:14:44,282 --> 00:14:45,382
Oh, wait!!
308
00:14:51,355 --> 00:14:53,791
Why is she throwing herself
at him anyway?
309
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:54,558
I mean, it's not as if
she's never seen
310
00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:56,660
a good-looking man before.
311
00:14:56,661 --> 00:14:58,262
I've been known to turn
a few heads in my time,
312
00:14:58,263 --> 00:14:59,529
right, Niles?
313
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,098
You're a brick house.
314
00:15:05,903 --> 00:15:06,903
Mighty, mighty.
315
00:15:08,639 --> 00:15:10,041
What do I have to do
to convince her,
316
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:11,442
she's desirable?
317
00:15:11,443 --> 00:15:14,111
Oh, sir, I'm sure
you'll think of something.
318
00:15:14,112 --> 00:15:18,048
I mean, after all,
you're a man, she's a woman,
319
00:15:18,049 --> 00:15:19,049
fill in the blanks.
320
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:24,121
The children are at school,
321
00:15:24,122 --> 00:15:27,958
she's lying on the sofa,
and if all else fails,
322
00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:30,361
what would Pierce Brosnan do?
323
00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:35,432
( Gale blowing )
324
00:15:37,635 --> 00:15:40,604
I don't know, Val.
325
00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:43,073
Oh, all right,
Sela Ward from "Sisters."
326
00:15:43,074 --> 00:15:46,477
Yes.
You are so good.
327
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:47,811
( Electricity crackles )
328
00:15:47,812 --> 00:15:50,914
You know what, I'm gonna call
the family at home.
329
00:15:50,915 --> 00:15:53,016
Let them know that we're okay.
330
00:15:53,017 --> 00:15:55,319
Oh, Mr. Sheffield
gave you his phone?
331
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,655
Gave, fell in my purse,
who remembers?
332
00:16:00,158 --> 00:16:01,758
( Both gasp )
333
00:16:01,759 --> 00:16:03,126
- Aah!
- Aaah!
334
00:16:03,127 --> 00:16:05,562
Val, the roof is gonna cave in!
335
00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:07,031
We're gonna die!
336
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:09,633
Shouldn't our life be
flashing before our eyes?
337
00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:13,537
Val, we're over 30, single,
and in bed with each other.
338
00:16:13,538 --> 00:16:16,606
- What life?
- Oh.
339
00:16:16,607 --> 00:16:18,609
- ( Wood creaking )
- ( glass shattering )
340
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:22,012
- Oh, those poor children.
- Oh.
341
00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:23,547
They're gonna be lost
342
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:26,450
without my love and attention.
343
00:16:26,451 --> 00:16:28,552
( Both cry )
344
00:16:28,553 --> 00:16:30,121
Did you find out who it is, yet?
345
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,656
Honey, what did I tell you
about snooping?
346
00:16:32,657 --> 00:16:34,124
That there should
always be a lookout.
347
00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:35,025
Good.
Go wait in the hall.
348
00:16:35,026 --> 00:16:36,893
Right.
349
00:16:36,894 --> 00:16:38,562
A hickey, Maggie?
350
00:16:38,563 --> 00:16:40,497
Did you really think that
you were gonna hide
351
00:16:40,498 --> 00:16:43,567
a hickey from me,
with a little pressed powder?
352
00:16:43,568 --> 00:16:46,102
You need oil-based concealer.
353
00:16:47,939 --> 00:16:50,608
Oh, just forget it,
it's too humiliating.
354
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,542
Well,
what could be so humiliating
355
00:16:52,543 --> 00:16:54,543
about being smaller
in the locker room?
356
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:00,551
Hmm.
357
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:02,586
Master Willie is here
with his nanny.
358
00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:05,422
Oh, now, honey,
you go make an entrance,
359
00:17:05,423 --> 00:17:07,458
and check yourself
like I taught ya.
360
00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:09,092
( Sniffing )
I'm fine.
361
00:17:10,795 --> 00:17:15,065
( Thunder rumbles )
362
00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:27,043
Well, I am never coming back
to this place again.
363
00:17:29,614 --> 00:17:33,784
I ordered room service
a half an hour ago.
364
00:17:33,785 --> 00:17:35,051
Do you see a fajita?
365
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:07,885
( Snoring )
366
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,454
Get up,
I saw you through the window.
367
00:18:10,455 --> 00:18:11,955
All right.
368
00:18:11,956 --> 00:18:13,791
- Miss Fine, this idea
- Mr. Sheffield,
369
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:15,311
of taking separate vacations
was a horrible idea.
370
00:18:15,323 --> 00:18:16,059
This was a lousy idea.
371
00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:17,761
- I had a terrible time.
- I missed you dreadfully,
372
00:18:17,762 --> 00:18:20,064
- and I'm so glad you're back.
- Let's never do this again.
373
00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:21,131
- What?
- What?
374
00:18:21,132 --> 00:18:22,492
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
375
00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:26,837
The fact is, you're safe and...
376
00:18:26,838 --> 00:18:28,772
we're all together
for the holidays.
377
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:32,576
Yes, and I am never
leaving home again.
378
00:18:32,577 --> 00:18:34,878
Unless of course,
you're dying to take a trip,
379
00:18:34,879 --> 00:18:36,447
then we can always
charter a yacht
380
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:37,814
around the Greek islands.
381
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:40,584
You know, Miss Fine,
382
00:18:40,585 --> 00:18:42,919
this will be our
fourth Christmas together?
383
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,088
- Hm.
- It seems like only yesterday,
384
00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:46,557
you came knocking on our door.
385
00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:48,091
( Giggles )
386
00:18:48,092 --> 00:18:49,493
May I see your resume, please?
387
00:18:49,494 --> 00:18:50,534
Oh, yeah, sure, hmm.
388
00:18:53,164 --> 00:18:54,965
- Crayon?
- Lipstick.
389
00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:57,201
Ah, of course.
What a lovely shade.
390
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,635
( Chuckles )
391
00:19:02,507 --> 00:19:03,941
I hate her.
392
00:19:03,942 --> 00:19:05,709
Now, Brighton,
let's not be hasty.
393
00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:07,811
Yeah, I haven't even sung
"Climb Every Mountain" yet.
394
00:19:10,014 --> 00:19:11,414
Miss Fine,
395
00:19:11,415 --> 00:19:14,985
you seem to have listed
the Queen Mother as a reference?
396
00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:17,454
What?
Lemme see that.
397
00:19:17,455 --> 00:19:19,923
Oh, no,
that's not the Queen Mother,
398
00:19:19,924 --> 00:19:21,625
that's my mother from Queens.
399
00:19:23,427 --> 00:19:25,129
I can't believe
that was four years ago,
400
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:28,532
and still,
I'm only two years older.
401
00:19:28,533 --> 00:19:30,433
You didn't think that
I could handle this job,
402
00:19:30,434 --> 00:19:33,003
but I turned out to be
quite a professional.
403
00:19:34,205 --> 00:19:36,540
While you're here, tell me,
404
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:38,708
should I take this back?
405
00:19:38,709 --> 00:19:40,110
Uh,
I think you should put it on.
406
00:19:40,111 --> 00:19:42,079
No, I already had it on,
it flattens out my b...
407
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,447
( shrieks )
Mr. Sheffield!
408
00:19:44,448 --> 00:19:46,583
Why didn't you say anything?
409
00:19:46,584 --> 00:19:48,552
Well, I-I-I didn't notice.
410
00:19:48,553 --> 00:19:49,753
You didn't... You know,
411
00:19:49,754 --> 00:19:52,122
I'm beginning to wonder
about you too.
412
00:19:52,123 --> 00:19:56,060
Oh. Oh, oh,
I can't get it on, I'm stuck.
413
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:57,994
- Help me, help me.
- Relax, Miss Fine,
414
00:19:57,995 --> 00:19:59,263
we'll get it on.
415
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:00,304
Fran: No, rip it off.
416
00:20:03,668 --> 00:20:05,669
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I'm so hot.
417
00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:07,804
Er, I can't do this standing up.
418
00:20:07,805 --> 00:20:10,206
Just, just get on the bed.
419
00:20:12,643 --> 00:20:13,643
Uh.
420
00:20:20,818 --> 00:20:23,053
If you let me tell
Miss Babcock about this,
421
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:24,454
I'll work free for a year.
422
00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:31,495
Miss Fine,
remember who signs your check.
423
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,930
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
424
00:20:33,931 --> 00:20:36,633
I'm not gonna hit you with this.
425
00:20:36,634 --> 00:20:38,869
- Oh!
- Fake out, ha ha ha.
426
00:20:40,538 --> 00:20:41,938
Friends?
427
00:20:41,939 --> 00:20:45,242
Uh... all right, friends.
428
00:20:45,243 --> 00:20:46,510
Come here.
429
00:20:54,719 --> 00:20:55,853
No, stop it.
430
00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:57,754
- Ohh! Ohh!
- No, stop, stop.
431
00:20:57,755 --> 00:20:58,655
- Ohh! Ohh!
- Stop, stop.
432
00:20:58,656 --> 00:21:00,357
Stop! Stop!
433
00:21:06,931 --> 00:21:10,100
But you know, Mr. Sheffield,
out of all the memories,
434
00:21:10,101 --> 00:21:12,069
you know which one
was my favorite?
435
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:13,070
Mm?
436
00:21:16,841 --> 00:21:19,976
I now pronounce you,
husband and wife.
437
00:21:19,977 --> 00:21:22,513
Mazel tov.
You may kiss the bride.
438
00:21:24,982 --> 00:21:26,483
( Giggling )
439
00:21:26,484 --> 00:21:31,087
( organ playing
"Wedding March" )
440
00:21:31,088 --> 00:21:33,557
Oh, Miss Fine,
that never happened.
441
00:21:36,928 --> 00:21:38,695
I threw that one in
for you guys.
442
00:21:38,696 --> 00:21:39,796
Happy holidays.
443
00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:52,809
Fran: Niles, I got you
invited to Greece.
444
00:21:52,810 --> 00:21:54,545
Why can't you just relax
and enjoy it?
445
00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:55,979
Niles: Well, I'm sorry,
but I can't help feeling
446
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,981
that I left something on
in the kitchen.
447
00:21:57,982 --> 00:22:00,050
( motor whirring )
448
00:22:17,735 --> 00:22:20,571
( jazz music playing )
31730
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