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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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♪ You're the light ♪
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♪ Of love ♪
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00:00:16,415 --> 00:00:17,549
Yes.
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Bravo! Bravo!
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Oh, this... this benefit will make
a fortune for Broadway Cares.
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With Roslyn Kind singing
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and her sister,
Barbra Streisand,
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hosting the event.
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Which is not why we hired you.
10
00:00:34,366 --> 00:00:36,334
Well,
I haven't exactly gotten around
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to calling Barbra yet.
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00:00:37,603 --> 00:00:38,670
Both: why?
13
00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:41,139
Well,
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00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:43,375
she hasn't given me
her new number.
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00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,876
But,
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00:00:44,877 --> 00:00:47,078
I do a great impersonation
of Barbra.
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00:00:47,079 --> 00:00:49,714
Although, personally, I think
for years she's been doing me.
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00:00:49,715 --> 00:00:50,715
Ha, ha.
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00:00:52,684 --> 00:00:55,053
♪ To find the way
of your heart ♪
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00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:57,788
♪ Sometimes you must
say goodbye ♪
21
00:00:57,789 --> 00:01:00,558
♪ And trust that time
will take you where ♪
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00:01:00,559 --> 00:01:05,430
♪ Your greatest visions lie ♪
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Barbra!
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00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:11,302
Barbra! Barbra!
25
00:01:11,303 --> 00:01:15,306
♪ Show your best to me ♪
26
00:01:15,307 --> 00:01:19,377
♪ A smile deep down
inside of you ♪
27
00:01:19,378 --> 00:01:21,913
♪ Is waiting there ♪
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00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:25,683
♪ Just to guide you through ♪
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00:01:25,684 --> 00:01:29,187
♪ You're the light of love ♪
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( Doorbell ringing )
♪ You're the light ♪
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♪ Of love ♪
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00:01:39,398 --> 00:01:43,268
Barbra! Barbra! Barbra!
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Barbra's sister.
34
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Close enough. Same DNA.
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Nanny Fine,
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00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:51,943
you are drooling
on Roslyn's shoes.
37
00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:53,778
Oh, it doesn't matter.
They're my sister's.
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00:01:53,779 --> 00:01:56,281
Take them off!
Take them off!
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00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,049
Nanny Fine!
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This nut isn't working with us,
is she?
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00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,653
Oh, great heavens, no.
42
00:02:02,654 --> 00:02:03,922
No, no, no.
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She takes care of my children.
44
00:02:06,592 --> 00:02:08,159
Hi.
45
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,161
Why don't we all go
into Maxwell's office?
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00:02:10,162 --> 00:02:11,930
- That's a good idea.
- Oh, yeah, that's better.
47
00:02:11,931 --> 00:02:13,264
More intimate.
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00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:15,599
It's got the little couch
and everything.
49
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,680
Tell me where Barbra lives
and no one gets hurt.
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00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:25,277
♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing Queens ♪
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♪ Till her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪
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♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪
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00:02:28,580 --> 00:02:30,214
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
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00:02:30,215 --> 00:02:33,852
♪ She was out
on her fanny ♪
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♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪
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♪ She was there to sell
makeup, but father saw more ♪
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♪ She had style, she had
flair, she was there ♪
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♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪
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00:02:44,496 --> 00:02:47,632
♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪
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00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:49,834
♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪
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00:02:49,835 --> 00:02:50,969
♪ Now the father finds
her beguiling ♪
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♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
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♪ And the kids are
actually smiling ♪
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00:02:53,939 --> 00:02:55,005
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
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♪ She is the lady in red ♪
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♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪
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♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪
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♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪
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( muffled voices )
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00:03:15,127 --> 00:03:16,627
- Hey, Fran.
- Shh.
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My mother can't hear
Barbra Streisand's sister.
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00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:23,501
Well, if you'd stop chewing.
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I need to talk to you
about a personal problem.
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00:03:27,739 --> 00:03:28,840
Honey, you're at that age,
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00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:30,801
you should be talking
to your butler.
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00:03:32,077 --> 00:03:34,011
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
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00:03:34,012 --> 00:03:36,314
Your father's telling his
"Pirates of Penzance" story.
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00:03:36,315 --> 00:03:37,582
What's up?
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00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:38,916
Well, I really like this girl,
Julie.
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00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:40,218
But she just wants
to be friends.
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How am I gonna get her
to make a deeper commitment?
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You're asking me?
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00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:49,126
Oh, Fran, I've had it.
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Dad is obviously not getting
me a car for my birthday.
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00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:55,300
So, I figured out
a way to win one.
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00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:58,269
Miss Trans-Am contest?
87
00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:01,072
Oh, honey, I am not letting
you enter some contest
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00:04:01,073 --> 00:04:03,475
where you parade around
in some skimpy outfits
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00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:06,411
so a bunch of men could stare at
you like you're a piece of meat.
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00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:07,479
No, ma'am.
91
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,446
Oh, not me. You.
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00:04:09,447 --> 00:04:11,248
Oh, how sweet!
93
00:04:14,319 --> 00:04:16,987
Listen, all you have to do
is win the talent portion,
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00:04:16,988 --> 00:04:19,490
drive a five-speed Trans-Am
through an obstacle course
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00:04:19,491 --> 00:04:22,360
and be between
the ages of 18 and 25.
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00:04:22,361 --> 00:04:25,063
Oh, well, that lets me out.
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00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:26,264
I can't drive a stick shift.
98
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,967
Oh, you can't?
99
00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:32,637
Nobody in my family can.
100
00:04:32,638 --> 00:04:34,638
I think it's in the
Torah or something.
101
00:04:36,608 --> 00:04:39,310
Well, maybe my dad could
teach you on his Porsche.
102
00:04:39,311 --> 00:04:40,545
Oh, no.
103
00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:41,713
What am I saying?
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00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:44,015
He would never help
you win a car for me.
105
00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:46,751
Uh, you know, Maggie,
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00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:49,086
I've seen your
father drive his Porsche.
107
00:04:49,087 --> 00:04:52,790
Believe me, he's nobody to teach
anybody how to drive a stick.
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00:04:52,791 --> 00:04:55,026
I beg your pardon.
109
00:04:55,027 --> 00:04:56,294
We're in.
110
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,143
Oh, this entire thing
is ridiculous.
111
00:05:12,144 --> 00:05:14,479
Maggie is far too young
to have a car.
112
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,447
Hmm, Mr. Sheffield, you know,
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00:05:16,448 --> 00:05:17,749
I understand you're a foreigner.
114
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:18,950
And that's why I cut you slack
115
00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,985
when you wear
dark socks and sandals.
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00:05:24,056 --> 00:05:26,825
But in this country when
a girl turns 17,
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00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,460
she gets herself a car.
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00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,127
Unless you come
from my neighborhood.
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00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:31,928
Then it's a car or a nose job.
120
00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:34,599
I got the car!
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00:05:37,269 --> 00:05:39,303
Miss Fine, why don't you
just get her one of those
122
00:05:39,304 --> 00:05:42,073
"Remington Steele"
ladies chic things
123
00:05:42,074 --> 00:05:43,475
you get everyone else?
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00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:46,110
Are you kidding?
She's like a daughter to me.
125
00:05:46,111 --> 00:05:48,045
Besides, you always
get her expensive stuff.
126
00:05:48,046 --> 00:05:49,647
Now, I can.
127
00:05:49,648 --> 00:05:51,148
Oh, Miss Fine,
what you give my children,
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00:05:51,149 --> 00:05:53,651
you can't put a price on.
129
00:05:53,652 --> 00:05:55,652
And yet, you find 6 bucks
an hour sufficient.
130
00:05:58,456 --> 00:06:00,158
Oh, Miss Fine, go into third.
131
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:02,493
You've gotta feel it
when it's time to shift.
132
00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:05,029
Do I have to squeeze
your leg every time?
133
00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:06,430
I guess I'm a slow learner.
134
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,300
There you go.
135
00:06:09,301 --> 00:06:11,035
That's the way.
136
00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:13,738
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
137
00:06:13,739 --> 00:06:14,905
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Where you going?
138
00:06:14,906 --> 00:06:16,774
- Why you turning off?
- Oh, Loehmann's!
139
00:06:16,775 --> 00:06:19,611
- Warehouse, Mothership.
- No, just, just...
140
00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,446
Just drive.
141
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:23,581
All right, all right.
142
00:06:25,417 --> 00:06:27,051
No more distractions.
143
00:06:27,052 --> 00:06:28,453
( Engine revs )
144
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,188
Shifting.
145
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:33,024
( Engine noise smoothens )
Beautiful, baby.
146
00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:34,692
( Car phone rings )
147
00:06:34,693 --> 00:06:35,993
Yello!
148
00:06:35,994 --> 00:06:37,895
Oh, would you, just, just,
149
00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:39,430
put both hands on the wheel.
150
00:06:39,431 --> 00:06:41,165
Hello? Oh, C.C.
151
00:06:41,166 --> 00:06:43,167
Hold on,
I'm going to put you on speaker.
152
00:06:43,168 --> 00:06:44,768
C.C.: Maxwell, great news!
153
00:06:44,769 --> 00:06:46,170
Barbra Streisand called.
154
00:06:46,171 --> 00:06:47,471
Oh, I'm putting you off speaker.
155
00:06:47,472 --> 00:06:49,432
You touch a button
and I'll kill us both.
156
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,745
C.C.: Barbra's agreed
to host the benefit,
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00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:56,180
but only if we do it at
her house in the Hamptons.
158
00:06:56,181 --> 00:06:57,782
Oh, my God! I can't believe
159
00:06:57,783 --> 00:06:59,850
- I'm going to Barbra's house!
- No you're not.
160
00:06:59,851 --> 00:07:02,053
Oh, this is the most
exciting day of my life!
161
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:03,153
- No, it's not.
- Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
162
00:07:03,154 --> 00:07:04,855
how can I ever thank you?
163
00:07:04,856 --> 00:07:06,691
By looking that way!
Look out!
164
00:07:06,692 --> 00:07:09,126
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
( tires screeching )
165
00:07:09,127 --> 00:07:10,128
Stop, stop!
166
00:07:12,664 --> 00:07:14,465
Oh, my God!
167
00:07:14,466 --> 00:07:15,934
Oh, I think I hit something.
168
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,534
No, uh, it's all right,
Miss Fine.
169
00:07:17,535 --> 00:07:19,971
It was uh,
it was just a piece of rubbish.
170
00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:23,207
With bunny ears
and a little cotton tail?
171
00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:24,708
Hmm? No.
172
00:07:24,709 --> 00:07:26,310
No, no, I saw it quite clearly.
173
00:07:26,311 --> 00:07:28,279
It, uh, it really,
uh, it was nothing.
174
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,380
C.C.: No, no, no.
175
00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:30,882
I know that sound.
176
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:35,186
Nanny Fine killed
a widdle wascally wabbit.
177
00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:44,896
Oh, I-I can't believe
178
00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:47,431
I killed an innocent rabbit.
179
00:07:47,432 --> 00:07:48,699
Oh, Nanny Fine,
180
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:51,869
- you must feel horrible.
- I... I do.
181
00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:54,138
Oh, you know what you need?
182
00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:57,008
Some comfort food.
183
00:07:57,009 --> 00:07:58,242
( laughs )
184
00:08:01,947 --> 00:08:04,549
Oh, Miss fine.
It's not your fault.
185
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:08,119
Sometimes horrible
accidents happen.
186
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,120
Exhibit "A."
187
00:08:13,191 --> 00:08:14,658
You really
shouldn't feel so bad.
188
00:08:14,659 --> 00:08:17,528
It's not as if rabbits
are an endangered species.
189
00:08:17,529 --> 00:08:21,465
They spend their entire lives
mating and reproducing.
190
00:08:21,466 --> 00:08:23,567
Oh, great. So not only
did I kill an animal,
191
00:08:23,568 --> 00:08:25,970
but I killed one with a better
social life than mine.
192
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:30,775
Miss Fine, you have to move
on with your life.
193
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:32,076
Now let me ask you.
194
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:34,945
What would Barbra do if she
killed an animal, hmm?
195
00:08:34,946 --> 00:08:37,348
First, she'd fire her chauffeur.
196
00:08:37,349 --> 00:08:41,518
And, then she'd write a
beautiful ballad about it.
197
00:08:41,519 --> 00:08:43,855
Marvin Hamlisch would arrange.
198
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:47,158
And then, she'd do the duet
with Julio Iglesias.
199
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:49,393
You know,
to pick up the foreign market.
200
00:08:49,394 --> 00:08:51,562
( Sighs )
201
00:08:51,563 --> 00:08:53,031
- I feel better.
- Hmm.
202
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,899
Attagirl!
203
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:58,335
I am going to win this
Miss Trans-Am contest,
204
00:08:58,336 --> 00:09:01,439
and make my platform
animal rights.
205
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,442
I am going to speak out
for all the little creatures
206
00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:06,311
that no one cares about.
207
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:07,312
Exhibit "B."
208
00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:13,317
Man:
Welcome, to the auto show,
209
00:09:13,318 --> 00:09:15,353
at the Nassau Coliseum.
210
00:09:17,155 --> 00:09:19,023
You know, B,
you didn't have to come with us.
211
00:09:19,024 --> 00:09:21,225
Hey, I love cars.
212
00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:25,997
Fran, shouldn't you be
getting ready for the contest?
213
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:28,266
We don't have time
to meet Miss America.
214
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,501
Honey, I was Miss Subways.
215
00:09:30,502 --> 00:09:32,469
It's a professional courtesy.
216
00:09:32,470 --> 00:09:35,973
Oh, if word got out that
I was here and I snubbed her,
217
00:09:35,974 --> 00:09:37,574
forget about it.
It could start a whole
218
00:09:37,575 --> 00:09:39,410
inter pageantry incident.
219
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:42,313
Tarah!
220
00:09:42,314 --> 00:09:43,982
Hi.
221
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:44,882
Fran Fine.
222
00:09:44,883 --> 00:09:47,051
Miss Subways, 1980,
223
00:09:47,052 --> 00:09:48,319
uh, '90.
224
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,657
Oh, it's always nice to meet
another pageant winner.
225
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:54,292
- Aww.
- What was your platform?
226
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:55,425
Uh, 59th and Lex.
227
00:09:57,295 --> 00:09:58,963
You know, we two have
so much in common.
228
00:09:58,964 --> 00:10:01,399
I mean, we're both
title holders and well,
229
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,734
you can't get married for
the duration of your reign
230
00:10:03,735 --> 00:10:06,370
and I can't get married
for the love of God.
231
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:10,775
I assume you're here
for the Miss Trans-Am contest.
232
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,043
Oh, is it that obvious?
233
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,444
Absolutely.
234
00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:14,512
Good luck to you.
235
00:10:14,513 --> 00:10:15,613
Oh, no.
236
00:10:15,614 --> 00:10:17,114
Fran's the one in the contest.
237
00:10:17,115 --> 00:10:18,148
Oh.
238
00:10:18,149 --> 00:10:19,182
Good luck to you.
239
00:10:21,519 --> 00:10:23,279
Meanwhile,
I voted for Miss Kentucky.
240
00:10:25,757 --> 00:10:27,692
Man:
Moving into our final round,
241
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,794
the driving competition.
242
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,328
And our current leader,
243
00:10:31,329 --> 00:10:32,930
Fran Fine.
244
00:10:32,931 --> 00:10:36,633
( applause and cheering )
245
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:44,275
So sexist!
246
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:47,544
What do women in swimsuits
have to do with selling cars?
247
00:10:47,545 --> 00:10:50,580
Sir, I think we've produced
one too many revivals of "Mame."
248
00:10:52,183 --> 00:10:53,084
Miss Fine,
249
00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:55,853
start your engine!
250
00:10:55,854 --> 00:10:59,690
( Applause )
251
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:16,340
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
252
00:11:16,341 --> 00:11:18,742
( Screams )
253
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:34,125
Oh, Fran, don't feel bad
about not winning me the car.
254
00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:36,293
I just love my new
wet-dry Lady Schick.
255
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:39,997
No, no, really.
256
00:11:39,998 --> 00:11:41,098
Look,
257
00:11:41,099 --> 00:11:42,166
it's great.
258
00:11:43,334 --> 00:11:46,103
Oh, honey. You're so sweet.
259
00:11:46,104 --> 00:11:47,939
But aren't your friends
disappointed
260
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,873
that you didn't get a car?
261
00:11:49,874 --> 00:11:52,276
Uh, I don't have any
friends anymore.
262
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,114
Now, come on, Miss Fine,
let's go for a drive.
263
00:11:57,115 --> 00:11:58,482
Uh, you know what they say,
264
00:11:58,483 --> 00:12:00,918
when you fall off a horse,
you gotta get right back on.
265
00:12:00,919 --> 00:12:02,286
Oh, I'm Jewish.
266
00:12:02,287 --> 00:12:05,523
The closest I ever get to
a horse is Polo at Ralph Lauren.
267
00:12:08,393 --> 00:12:10,661
Well, drive us
to the Paramus Mall.
268
00:12:10,662 --> 00:12:12,530
We'll, uh,
tear buttons off things
269
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,231
and get an extra 10% discount.
270
00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:18,002
No, I can't.
271
00:12:18,003 --> 00:12:20,905
You have to drive again,
Miss Fine.
272
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,241
No. I mean, I've been banned
from the Paramus Mall.
273
00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:27,878
Oh, Mr. Sheffield. It's okay.
274
00:12:27,879 --> 00:12:30,147
Don't worry about me.
I'll be fine.
275
00:12:30,148 --> 00:12:32,516
I've decided to get therapy.
276
00:12:32,517 --> 00:12:34,852
How are we feeling today?
277
00:12:36,554 --> 00:12:39,156
I'm afraid we're going to have
to cancel our appointment.
278
00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:41,726
- Oh?
- I have a date coming over.
279
00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:43,794
That's how you therapists
keep us coming back.
280
00:12:43,795 --> 00:12:44,929
You make us more bitter.
281
00:12:47,866 --> 00:12:51,002
Come on, Maxwell, we have a lot
of work to do for the benefit.
282
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:52,302
Don't mind me, Nanny Fine.
283
00:12:52,303 --> 00:12:54,505
I'm just passing through.
284
00:12:54,506 --> 00:12:56,541
( Whistling )
285
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:57,942
Hop, hop, hop.
286
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:05,782
Oh, come on, Miss Fine.
287
00:13:05,783 --> 00:13:08,819
I can't stand seeing
you like this.
288
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,421
Can't you just forget
what happened
289
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:13,257
and get on with your life, hmm?
290
00:13:13,258 --> 00:13:14,725
Well, if you're gonna
cuddle and touch me
291
00:13:14,726 --> 00:13:16,494
every time I'm depressed,
292
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:18,996
I gotta tell you, this is pretty
much my mood for a while.
293
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,169
Oh, come on.
There must be something
294
00:13:25,170 --> 00:13:26,637
I can do to cheer you up.
295
00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:29,574
Err, isn't there some
favorite place you'd like to go?
296
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:32,209
No, nothin's givin' me a buzz.
297
00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:33,877
How about
Barbra Streisand's house?
298
00:13:33,878 --> 00:13:35,146
Oh!
299
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,813
Would you do that?
300
00:13:36,814 --> 00:13:39,249
Oh! Of course, Miss fine.
301
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,718
Anything for you.
302
00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:42,653
Oh, this is like
a dream come true!
303
00:13:42,654 --> 00:13:45,188
I'm so excited!
304
00:13:45,189 --> 00:13:46,757
Pack your bags and get out!
305
00:13:54,866 --> 00:13:58,336
Oh, it's a pleasure to
meet you Miss Streisand.
306
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,177
Oh, no.
That's way too formal.
307
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,407
Nice knowin' you, Babs.
308
00:14:04,976 --> 00:14:07,010
No, that's way too familiar.
309
00:14:07,011 --> 00:14:09,213
Oh, I got such a...
( speaks Yiddish )
310
00:14:10,848 --> 00:14:12,049
Oh, you know, that's perfect.
311
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:17,255
This is gonna be a disaster.
312
00:14:17,256 --> 00:14:20,758
First we have to shake three bus
loads of Fines trailing us.
313
00:14:22,894 --> 00:14:24,862
Oh, come on, C.C.
314
00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:26,396
Leave Miss Fine alone.
315
00:14:26,397 --> 00:14:29,300
This is a very
important night for her.
316
00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:31,935
Miss Fine, your hair is looking
particularly big tonight.
317
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:37,208
Well, yours would too, if you
had a camcorder hidden in it.
318
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,776
Ha, ha, ha.
319
00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:40,110
Kidding!
320
00:14:40,111 --> 00:14:41,712
Would you relax?
321
00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:44,481
I am not going to embarrass you.
322
00:14:44,482 --> 00:14:48,552
I'm on a pilgrimage to meet
my spiritual leader.
323
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:49,920
Oh.
324
00:14:49,921 --> 00:14:52,623
- My stomach is killing me.
- What?
325
00:14:52,624 --> 00:14:54,825
Oh, it must be
that pate Niles made.
326
00:14:54,826 --> 00:14:57,227
Well,
we're going to Barbra's house.
327
00:14:57,228 --> 00:14:58,696
She's a sister.
328
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:00,197
She'll have Tagamet,
329
00:15:00,198 --> 00:15:03,200
Mylanta, Pepcid A.C.
Don't worry.
330
00:15:03,201 --> 00:15:05,703
I'm serious, Miss Fine.
I'm, I'm sweaty.
331
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:07,771
I'm starting to shake.
332
00:15:07,772 --> 00:15:08,939
I'm going to have to pull over.
333
00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:11,007
Yeah,
we'll pull over in her driveway.
334
00:15:11,008 --> 00:15:12,042
Now floor it.
335
00:15:13,378 --> 00:15:14,544
C.C.,
you're going to have to drive.
336
00:15:14,545 --> 00:15:15,946
Oh, oh, that's a good idea.
337
00:15:15,947 --> 00:15:18,048
C.C., you drive.
Don't even stop the car.
338
00:15:18,049 --> 00:15:20,251
Just switch.
Switch.
339
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,753
Maxwell,
you know I can't drive a stick.
340
00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:24,354
It's no good.
I gotta get out, get some air.
341
00:15:24,355 --> 00:15:26,990
No! We'll drive
with the windows open!
342
00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:28,292
So it's a little dewy,
343
00:15:28,293 --> 00:15:29,793
I'll freeze for my queen!
344
00:15:31,262 --> 00:15:33,831
Oh, oh, oh, Nanny Fine,
Nanny Fine, Nanny Fine.
345
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:35,366
You drive a stick?
346
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,634
No.
I can't, I can't.
347
00:15:37,635 --> 00:15:39,570
I know.
You put it in neutral.
348
00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:40,871
I'll push.
349
00:15:40,872 --> 00:15:43,674
I shoved my mother up a hill
in San Francisco once.
350
00:15:43,675 --> 00:15:45,595
This is just a small
foreign car.
351
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:48,745
Nanny Fine,
352
00:15:48,746 --> 00:15:50,680
Maxwell and I are producing
this for Broadway Cares.
353
00:15:50,681 --> 00:15:51,781
And I don't care
if Broadway cares,
354
00:15:51,782 --> 00:15:53,622
if I'm not there
to get the credit.
355
00:15:54,886 --> 00:15:58,422
I can't! I can't!
356
00:15:58,423 --> 00:16:00,524
♪ Can it be that it was all ♪
357
00:16:00,525 --> 00:16:02,560
♪ So simple then ♪
358
00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:03,927
Stop it!
359
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:08,232
♪ Or has time rewritten
every line? ♪
360
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,636
I'm not gonna see my Barbra!
361
00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:15,072
Oh, my God, forgive me!
362
00:16:17,275 --> 00:16:20,377
Nanny Fine,
Ros swore me to secrecy,
363
00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:23,046
that James Brolin is gonna
propose to Barbra tonight.
364
00:16:23,047 --> 00:16:24,948
You'll know before Mary Hart.
365
00:16:24,949 --> 00:16:27,017
( Gasps )
366
00:16:27,018 --> 00:16:29,586
Get in!
You'll puke in the Porsche.
367
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:33,490
( Engine starts )
368
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:40,597
So what was she like?
369
00:16:40,598 --> 00:16:42,633
Did you actually get to
talk to Miss Streisand?
370
00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:43,967
Uh-huh.
371
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:44,902
I told her,
372
00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:47,404
"I love you, my Queen."
373
00:16:47,405 --> 00:16:49,606
And she said,
374
00:16:49,607 --> 00:16:51,675
"Put those boots back
in my closet."
375
00:16:55,947 --> 00:16:57,981
Well, it was a banner
night for both of us.
376
00:16:57,982 --> 00:17:00,784
You got to meet your idol and
overcome your fear of driving.
377
00:17:00,785 --> 00:17:02,552
- Mm-hmm.
- While I got a safety pin
378
00:17:02,553 --> 00:17:03,720
and worked that little string
379
00:17:03,721 --> 00:17:05,681
through Mr. Sheffield's
sweat pants.
380
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:11,294
And I've got you to thank
381
00:17:11,295 --> 00:17:13,263
for getting over
my fear of driving.
382
00:17:13,264 --> 00:17:14,798
It never would have happened
383
00:17:14,799 --> 00:17:18,468
if you hadn't fed Mr. Sheffield
that rancid pate.
384
00:17:18,469 --> 00:17:20,104
I'm highly offended.
385
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,272
Why? 'Cause I called
your pate rancid?
386
00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:25,008
No, that you think I'd actually
take the time to make it.
387
00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:27,411
I'd buy it, peel off the label
and slap it on a plate.
388
00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:30,667
I haven't even done
that in months.
389
00:17:31,649 --> 00:17:34,919
Well, then,
why would he say he got sick?
390
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,520
Why would he fake it?
391
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:40,925
Oh, that sweet man.
392
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,993
Do you know what he did for me?
393
00:17:42,994 --> 00:17:44,094
Threw up on Miss Babcock?
394
00:17:46,063 --> 00:17:46,897
No.
395
00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:48,098
That would have been for me.
396
00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:53,103
No.
He pretended to be sick
397
00:17:53,104 --> 00:17:56,173
to force me to drive.
398
00:17:56,174 --> 00:17:58,442
Oh, he was showing
his love for me
399
00:17:58,443 --> 00:18:01,611
by acting like he was nauseous.
400
00:18:04,182 --> 00:18:06,850
Did you know how he
felt about me?
401
00:18:06,851 --> 00:18:08,185
Did I know?
402
00:18:08,186 --> 00:18:09,987
For four years I've been
hinting to him,
403
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:11,188
I've been hinting to you,
404
00:18:11,189 --> 00:18:12,723
I've be hinting to him
to hint to you.
405
00:18:12,724 --> 00:18:15,084
Why do you think I don't
have enough time to make pate?
406
00:18:21,232 --> 00:18:22,866
Mr. Sheffield,
407
00:18:22,867 --> 00:18:25,169
I know what you did.
408
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,569
Oh, well, Miss Fine,
409
00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:28,439
James and Barbra insisted
410
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,640
we go out for a drink.
411
00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:31,174
I, uh, I couldn't find you.
412
00:18:31,175 --> 00:18:33,043
I'm not talking about that.
413
00:18:33,044 --> 00:18:34,044
You what?
414
00:18:37,515 --> 00:18:38,515
Gotcha!
415
00:18:38,516 --> 00:18:41,018
( laughing )
416
00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:43,420
Uh, let's get back to
what you were saying.
417
00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:45,622
I know that you
pretended to be sick
418
00:18:45,623 --> 00:18:47,491
to get me to drive.
419
00:18:47,492 --> 00:18:49,793
I'll tell you,
it is just so adorable,
420
00:18:49,794 --> 00:18:53,029
how you can't really express
the way you feel.
421
00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:55,666
Like all the times that you
yell and scream at me,
422
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,334
when in reality,
423
00:18:57,335 --> 00:18:59,102
you wanna hug me.
424
00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:00,971
( Chuckles )
425
00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:02,606
Well.
426
00:19:02,607 --> 00:19:05,175
And all those times that
you fired me,
427
00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:07,711
in reality
428
00:19:07,712 --> 00:19:08,879
you wanna kiss me.
429
00:19:10,081 --> 00:19:11,181
All right!
430
00:19:13,718 --> 00:19:16,119
When you told me you love me
and you took it back,
431
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,155
- when in reality...
- No, actually, that, I meant.
432
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,156
I hate you.
433
00:19:21,092 --> 00:19:23,160
No, you don't.
You really want to hug me.
434
00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:24,194
Okay, I'm busted.
435
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:27,898
Tell me, Miss Fine,
just out of curiosity.
436
00:19:27,899 --> 00:19:30,333
How... how did you know
I was faking?
437
00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:31,835
Oh, Niles spilled the beans.
438
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:58,195
I-I'm just saying,
I'm surprised that
439
00:19:58,196 --> 00:19:59,930
Barbra called you
out of the blue
440
00:19:59,931 --> 00:20:02,032
and invited you back
to her house.
441
00:20:02,033 --> 00:20:03,767
What don't you get?
442
00:20:03,768 --> 00:20:05,335
We share the same heritage,
443
00:20:05,336 --> 00:20:07,437
we both have
a distinctive voice.
444
00:20:09,774 --> 00:20:12,443
I had an Andre Agassi
poster in my room,
445
00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:13,810
she had Andre Agassi.
446
00:20:16,147 --> 00:20:18,315
Well, it just seems very bizarre
to me, that's all.
447
00:20:18,316 --> 00:20:19,883
I mean,
she's a very private person.
448
00:20:19,884 --> 00:20:21,618
I can't imagine what
she wants with you.
449
00:20:21,619 --> 00:20:22,819
Look, we just hit it off.
450
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:24,989
In fact, she said she was
gonna come right over,
451
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,424
but I said don't bother,
we'll come to you.
452
00:20:27,425 --> 00:20:28,958
Oh, wait, let me get my purse.
453
00:20:30,127 --> 00:20:31,127
( Sighs )
454
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:36,366
Goodbye, gorgeous.
455
00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:52,182
I suppose she's gonna want
this purse back, too.
456
00:20:58,623 --> 00:21:01,491
Listen, all you have to do
is win a talent portion,
457
00:21:01,492 --> 00:21:04,895
- Yeah.
- Drive a, drive a...
458
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,396
Listen, you're in two
movies of the week.
459
00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:09,866
You're over-worked
already this week.
460
00:21:11,135 --> 00:21:12,135
Okay.
461
00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:16,439
But in this country,
when a girl turns 17,
462
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,841
she gets herself a car.
463
00:21:17,842 --> 00:21:19,142
Unless you come
from my neighborhood.
464
00:21:19,143 --> 00:21:20,644
Then it's a car or a nose job.
465
00:21:23,414 --> 00:21:25,382
I got the nose job! Oh!
466
00:21:25,383 --> 00:21:29,252
( Both laughing )
467
00:21:33,591 --> 00:21:34,591
Not.
468
00:21:37,795 --> 00:21:40,631
( Jazz music playing )
33393
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