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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:04,670 --> 00:00:06,704 Where's the camera? Where's the camera? 2 00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:08,773 What do you need to take a picture of? 3 00:00:08,774 --> 00:00:11,909 Well, I'm off to make the keynote speech 4 00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:14,112 at the Theatre Guild. 5 00:00:14,113 --> 00:00:17,215 Miss Babcock, you can't go like that. 6 00:00:17,216 --> 00:00:18,249 Nanny Fine, 7 00:00:18,250 --> 00:00:21,586 I will be speaking to Broadway impresarios. 8 00:00:21,587 --> 00:00:23,521 But I will seek your fashion expertise 9 00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:25,323 next time I'm dancing in a cage. 10 00:00:26,725 --> 00:00:28,845 Uh, you don't need your coat, it's not cold. 11 00:00:34,266 --> 00:00:36,634 Ooh, wait, wait, wait. 12 00:00:36,635 --> 00:00:39,604 Oh, God, that's not fair. 13 00:00:39,605 --> 00:00:41,645 That was going to be my Christmas card. 14 00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:45,543 Oh, now, cheer up, Niles. 15 00:00:45,544 --> 00:00:47,044 You know, there are people out there 16 00:00:47,045 --> 00:00:51,216 with real problems who don't even have a reason to live. 17 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:52,217 Oh! 18 00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:56,721 - Hi, sweetie, muah. - Hi! 19 00:00:56,722 --> 00:00:58,790 Fran, you're never gonna believe this. 20 00:00:58,791 --> 00:01:00,592 - I am standing here - Yeah. 21 00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:01,959 - Talking to you - Yeah. 22 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,829 In size six pants. 23 00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:07,532 Oh, my God, Val, 24 00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:09,468 you haven't been a size six 25 00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:11,035 since you were six. 26 00:01:11,036 --> 00:01:13,237 I know. I know. 27 00:01:13,238 --> 00:01:15,707 Oh, Miss Toriello, that's not a six, it's a nine. 28 00:01:19,111 --> 00:01:21,746 Oh, 29 00:01:21,747 --> 00:01:24,115 fudge brownie or rocky road? 30 00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:25,350 What do you mean "or"? 31 00:01:27,186 --> 00:01:29,120 Fran, Fran, listen, listen. 32 00:01:29,121 --> 00:01:31,889 A bunch of my girlfriends are getting tattoos this Saturday. 33 00:01:31,890 --> 00:01:34,593 - Yeah? -Now, I need you to help me out with Dad. 34 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,893 Oh, sure, honey, 35 00:01:35,894 --> 00:01:39,430 I'll invite him for a nice romantic dinner, 36 00:01:39,431 --> 00:01:41,833 candlelight, champagne, 37 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:44,936 lobster, soft music. 38 00:01:44,937 --> 00:01:47,005 And then you think he'll go for it? 39 00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:49,246 Well, he better, 'cause I'm running out of ideas. 40 00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:54,913 Oh, you mean, about the tattoo? 41 00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:57,782 Oh, no, honey, you ain't getting a tattoo. 42 00:01:57,783 --> 00:01:59,651 - But, Fran... - Honey, 43 00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:03,020 as long as I am living under your roof, 44 00:02:03,021 --> 00:02:04,422 you'll do as I say. 45 00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:08,526 Fran, what is the big deal? 46 00:02:08,527 --> 00:02:10,995 You got a tattoo when we were in high school. 47 00:02:10,996 --> 00:02:12,797 All: You have a tattoo? 48 00:02:14,499 --> 00:02:17,936 My daughter has a tattoo? I'm going to kill myself. 49 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:21,072 I'm going to stick my head in the oven and kill myself. 50 00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:30,215 Are these crab cakes done? 51 00:02:34,486 --> 00:02:35,653 ( Mouths ) 52 00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:41,625 ♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing Queens ♪ 53 00:02:41,626 --> 00:02:42,893 ♪ Till her boyfriend kicked her out ♪ 54 00:02:42,894 --> 00:02:44,829 ♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪ 55 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:46,464 ♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪ 56 00:02:46,465 --> 00:02:50,001 ♪ She was out on her fanny ♪ 57 00:02:50,002 --> 00:02:52,404 ♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪ 58 00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:55,006 ♪ She was there to sell makeup, but father saw more ♪ 59 00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:57,041 ♪ She had style, she had flair, she was there ♪ 60 00:02:57,042 --> 00:03:00,711 ♪ That's how she became The Nanny ♪ 61 00:03:00,712 --> 00:03:03,748 ♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪ 62 00:03:03,749 --> 00:03:06,051 ♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪ 63 00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:07,251 ♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪ 64 00:03:07,252 --> 00:03:08,619 ♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪ 65 00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:10,054 ♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪ 66 00:03:10,055 --> 00:03:11,222 ♪ Such joie de vivre ♪ 67 00:03:11,223 --> 00:03:12,690 ♪ She's the lady in red ♪ 68 00:03:12,691 --> 00:03:16,961 ♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪ 69 00:03:16,962 --> 00:03:19,130 ♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪ 70 00:03:19,131 --> 00:03:20,332 ♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪ 71 00:03:27,773 --> 00:03:29,908 My daughter has a tattoo. 72 00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:31,375 I'm going to be sick. 73 00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:36,014 Niles, quick, get me something bubbly. 74 00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:37,715 Club soda? 75 00:03:37,716 --> 00:03:38,916 You got any Hershey's Syrup? 76 00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:45,890 Of all the schmucky things 77 00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:48,325 that you did as a kid, 78 00:03:48,326 --> 00:03:50,594 nothing compares to this. 79 00:03:50,595 --> 00:03:52,563 Fran, you have broken my heart. 80 00:03:52,564 --> 00:03:54,632 You've shattered my dreams. 81 00:03:54,633 --> 00:03:56,400 I don't even want to live! 82 00:03:59,571 --> 00:04:02,306 Hey, pokey, how long does an egg cream take? 83 00:04:05,978 --> 00:04:08,079 When did you do this? 84 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,982 Remember when Val and I were going to Hadassah 85 00:04:10,983 --> 00:04:13,618 to audition for "Jesus Christ Superstar"? 86 00:04:16,622 --> 00:04:18,923 Which incidentally should have been a clue. 87 00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:21,759 ♪ She's a maniac ♪ 88 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:26,297 ♪ Maniac on the floor ♪ 89 00:04:26,298 --> 00:04:30,501 ♪ And she's dancing like she's never danced before ♪ 90 00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:33,838 You know, Fran, these tattoos are permanent. 91 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:35,706 I mean, what if you and Danny break up? 92 00:04:35,707 --> 00:04:37,809 Val, he said he loves me. 93 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,243 Hmm. 94 00:04:39,244 --> 00:04:41,211 I'm not gonna be with someone that says he loves me 95 00:04:41,212 --> 00:04:43,247 - and then takes it back. - Ah. 96 00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:46,517 ( Woman screams ) 97 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,021 Either of you AB positive? 98 00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:51,722 - No. - No. 99 00:04:51,723 --> 00:04:53,758 Sorry. 100 00:04:53,759 --> 00:04:55,679 Wow, I gotta lay off the espresso. 101 00:04:57,696 --> 00:04:59,330 So, you got ID? 102 00:04:59,331 --> 00:05:00,965 - Uh, no. - No. 103 00:05:00,966 --> 00:05:03,000 Well, you gotta buy some or I can't tattoo you. 104 00:05:03,001 --> 00:05:04,168 Oh, okay. 105 00:05:04,169 --> 00:05:05,336 All right. All right. Here. 106 00:05:05,337 --> 00:05:06,771 - Ten bucks. - Here. 107 00:05:06,772 --> 00:05:09,040 Okay. Oh, thanks. 108 00:05:09,041 --> 00:05:10,041 Want a beer? 109 00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:11,609 Both: Yeah! 110 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:12,477 Let me see your ID. 111 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,918 - Oh. - Oh. 112 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:16,380 Cool. 113 00:05:16,381 --> 00:05:18,149 Okay. 114 00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:21,019 Oh, look, you've got Charles and Di. 115 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,887 Gee, I hope that comes off. 116 00:05:22,888 --> 00:05:25,022 I have a very bad feeling about that marriage. 117 00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:28,359 Oh, Val, you're so stupid. 118 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,320 Where's he going with those big ears? 119 00:05:32,164 --> 00:05:33,564 Yeah, man, I hope you're right. 120 00:05:33,565 --> 00:05:35,933 I'm still sore from turning Sonny into Gregg Allman. 121 00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:42,840 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 122 00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:44,809 How could you do this to your family? 123 00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:51,916 Would you like some more, Sylvia? 124 00:05:51,917 --> 00:05:53,150 What, did we just meet? 125 00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,424 Where was I? 126 00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:00,992 "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 127 00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:03,294 How could you do this to your family?" 128 00:06:03,295 --> 00:06:06,097 Boy, it really loses something in the gentile translation. 129 00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:11,535 You know, this time you haven't just defied your mother. 130 00:06:11,536 --> 00:06:14,538 This time you defied God. 131 00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:15,840 If you have a tattoo, 132 00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:19,610 you can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery. 133 00:06:19,611 --> 00:06:21,579 And unless you have it removed, 134 00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:23,714 consider yourself disowned. 135 00:06:23,715 --> 00:06:25,716 ( Fran gasps ) Ma! 136 00:06:29,788 --> 00:06:32,023 You know, this has nothing to do with you and me. 137 00:06:45,203 --> 00:06:46,337 ( Clears throat ) 138 00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,713 Come on, Niles. 139 00:06:55,714 --> 00:06:58,283 Obviously, you're dying to tell me something, so what is it? 140 00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:04,088 It's a secret? 141 00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:06,009 You've promised not to say a word? 142 00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:08,292 Two words. 143 00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:11,028 Uh, it's a... It's a person. Who is it? 144 00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:16,000 The Thompsons' butler? 145 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:21,339 Miss Fine! 146 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:24,175 What about Miss Fine? Well, j-just tell me. 147 00:07:24,176 --> 00:07:26,277 Just tell me, Niles, or you're... 148 00:07:26,278 --> 00:07:27,311 She has a tattoo. 149 00:07:27,312 --> 00:07:28,946 Miss Fine has a tattoo? 150 00:07:28,947 --> 00:07:30,081 She does? 151 00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:32,283 Oh, such keen hearing, and look, 152 00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:34,218 she brought a newspaper. Good girl. 153 00:07:37,188 --> 00:07:38,756 Niles, don't you think it's time you came up 154 00:07:38,757 --> 00:07:41,960 with some fresh material? Something I haven't heard? 155 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,395 How about, "Can you stay the night?" 156 00:07:44,396 --> 00:07:46,797 Oh, Niles! 157 00:07:46,798 --> 00:07:50,101 When do you have time to come up with these clever retorts? 158 00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:52,970 It must be that half-hour between scraping pigeon poop 159 00:07:52,971 --> 00:07:55,572 off the stoop and fighting shower fungus. 160 00:07:58,443 --> 00:08:02,046 So, Miss Fine has a tattoo, eh? 161 00:08:02,047 --> 00:08:03,280 Oh, I'm shocked. 162 00:08:03,281 --> 00:08:05,249 How out of character for Nanny Fine to do something 163 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,317 cheap and vulgar. 164 00:08:07,986 --> 00:08:09,086 Shameful. 165 00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:12,122 I... I wonder where it is. 166 00:08:12,123 --> 00:08:15,592 Well, obviously on a part of her body hidden by clothing. 167 00:08:15,593 --> 00:08:17,828 Oh, well, let's see, that narrows it down to, 168 00:08:17,829 --> 00:08:19,663 what, Niles, about 2 inches? 169 00:08:19,664 --> 00:08:22,900 ( Both laughing ) 170 00:08:26,871 --> 00:08:28,339 Well, 171 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:31,809 I remember the tattoo being higher on your tush. 172 00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,578 It was, Val. 173 00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:41,185 Oh, come on, Fran. Please talk to Dad for me. 174 00:08:41,186 --> 00:08:44,588 I mean, you remember when you were 17, right? 175 00:08:44,589 --> 00:08:46,491 Yeah, I do. 176 00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,626 Oh, it was a very good year. 177 00:08:50,562 --> 00:08:52,196 Better not be that good for you. 178 00:08:56,234 --> 00:08:57,501 Mr. Sheffield. 179 00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:58,502 Miss Fine. 180 00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:05,743 Are you okay? 181 00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:07,664 Hmm? Oh. I'm... I'm thigh, fanks. 182 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,583 ( Sighs ) Let me ask you something. 183 00:09:12,584 --> 00:09:15,053 How do you feel about tattoos? 184 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,554 Oh, uh, well, Miss Fine, uh, 185 00:09:17,555 --> 00:09:20,625 seeing as you asked, uh, as a matter of fact, uh, 186 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:24,829 I'm a little intrigued by the idea of painted flesh 187 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:28,065 hidden on some part of the body 188 00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:33,137 reserved only for that special someone to... 189 00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,374 Well, um... 190 00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:41,379 Tattoos are okay in my book. 191 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:42,847 Thanks, Daddy. 192 00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:44,182 What was that? 193 00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,516 Uh, well, 194 00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:48,619 you just gave your daughter permission to get a tattoo. 195 00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:52,023 What? I'd... I'd never let Margaret get a tattoo. 196 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,458 Well, you just said you loved tattoos. 197 00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,594 Miss Fine, I was talking about on you! 198 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:13,878 ( Gasps ) 199 00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,746 Fran, how can you stand there like that 200 00:10:15,747 --> 00:10:17,248 with the door wide open? 201 00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:20,384 Mr. Sheffield could walk by and see you. 202 00:10:20,385 --> 00:10:22,353 Not if you don't move, Val. 203 00:10:27,025 --> 00:10:30,361 I just found out that he is really turned on 204 00:10:30,362 --> 00:10:32,497 by a certain little tattoo. 205 00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:34,418 Ugh, that guy from Fantasy Island? 206 00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,971 Oh, excuse me, Miss Fine, uh, have you talked 207 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,339 to Margaret about that little tattoo business yet? 208 00:10:42,340 --> 00:10:44,875 Yeah, I talked to her. It's all under control. 209 00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:46,916 Don't worry about it. It's taken care of. 210 00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:48,713 Maxwell: Where the hell is it? 211 00:10:50,081 --> 00:10:52,983 My God, bloody Waldo is easier to spot. 212 00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:59,557 Is there anything else I can do for you? 213 00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,224 No, no, no, no. Absolutely nothing. 214 00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:04,595 I'll just, uh, I'll just be getting off... Uh, along. 215 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,032 Oh, wow. 216 00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:11,402 The guy is obviously so turned on by you. 217 00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:13,571 What's taking him so long to make a move? 218 00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:15,907 Uh, you know, he's afraid that the kids will suffer 219 00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:17,041 if it doesn't work out. 220 00:11:17,042 --> 00:11:20,344 He is just so afraid of change. 221 00:11:20,345 --> 00:11:22,113 Why do you think I stay 29? 222 00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:26,084 - It's for him. - Oh. 223 00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:29,187 Fran, if you think this tattoo is your secret weapon, 224 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,755 how come you made a doctor's appointment 225 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,423 to take it off your butt? 226 00:11:32,424 --> 00:11:34,992 Oh, that's just a consultation, Val. 227 00:11:34,993 --> 00:11:37,153 The only thing I'm getting off my butt is Ma. 228 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,664 This baby is staying. 229 00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,101 Now, what is it about a tattoo 230 00:11:44,102 --> 00:11:46,504 that guys find such a turn-on? 231 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:47,938 It's very erotic, Val. 232 00:11:47,939 --> 00:11:50,975 I mean, you know, it's the lure of the forbidden. 233 00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:53,144 You know, it's like when we date a guy 234 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:56,513 and suddenly he find out he drives a Sara Lee truck. 235 00:11:56,514 --> 00:11:58,682 - Oh, yeah. - Same thing. 236 00:11:58,683 --> 00:12:00,283 Yeah. I got it now. 237 00:12:05,523 --> 00:12:07,425 Dr. Roberts, could you make me look like... 238 00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:08,493 Nope. 239 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:14,465 But they do have a new procedure that freezes 240 00:12:14,466 --> 00:12:17,435 the muscles in your face so you never get lines. 241 00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:19,470 So I'd never be able to smile again? 242 00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:21,139 That's right. 243 00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,573 - You married? - No. 244 00:12:22,574 --> 00:12:24,041 - You rich? - No. 245 00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:25,842 So what do you got to smile about? 246 00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:32,249 Don't worry. He's a very good surgeon. 247 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:33,717 Although I didn't care for the way 248 00:12:33,718 --> 00:12:35,752 he lifted Aunt Lottie's boobs. 249 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,322 Well, on the bright side, 250 00:12:38,323 --> 00:12:40,724 now she doesn't have to wear shoulder pads anymore. 251 00:12:43,628 --> 00:12:45,729 - Um, Doctor. - Yeah? 252 00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:47,698 You know, we're here to find out 253 00:12:47,699 --> 00:12:49,300 what you can do about this. 254 00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:55,472 Uh-oh. 255 00:12:55,473 --> 00:12:57,474 This is much more serious than I imagined. 256 00:12:57,475 --> 00:12:59,343 Oh? 257 00:12:59,344 --> 00:13:01,411 This thing is cracked. 258 00:13:01,412 --> 00:13:03,214 ( laughs ) 259 00:13:10,622 --> 00:13:12,990 So, uh, what exactly is the problem? 260 00:13:12,991 --> 00:13:14,692 Can you remove that tattoo? 261 00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:16,527 I can take it off for you next Tuesday. 262 00:13:16,528 --> 00:13:18,262 Well, wait a minute. 263 00:13:18,263 --> 00:13:20,864 Is it gonna scar? Is it gonna hurt? 264 00:13:20,865 --> 00:13:21,932 Yes, and ouch. 265 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,769 Fran, if you keep that tattoo, 266 00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:28,538 you can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery. 267 00:13:28,539 --> 00:13:30,607 It's either a bruised tuches 268 00:13:30,608 --> 00:13:34,378 or spending all of eternity without your family. 269 00:13:37,749 --> 00:13:38,882 Can you make it bigger? 270 00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:49,327 Oh, Val, I just love this new bathing suit I got. 271 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:52,596 You think Mr. Sheffield will be able to see my tattoo in this? 272 00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:58,569 Fran, he'll be able to see your liver in that. 273 00:14:00,671 --> 00:14:04,642 Now I just gotta figure out an excuse to wear it. 274 00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:07,077 Oh, wait, there's a four-day weekend coming up. 275 00:14:07,078 --> 00:14:09,413 Oh, oh, kids, kids! 276 00:14:09,414 --> 00:14:10,948 - Come down here. - Wait a second. 277 00:14:10,949 --> 00:14:12,917 Won't Mr. Sheffield be a little suspicious 278 00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,484 you're suddenly planning a trip? 279 00:14:14,485 --> 00:14:17,220 No, he worries when I'm not working him for a free vacation. 280 00:14:17,221 --> 00:14:19,055 - Oh? - Kids, oh... 281 00:14:19,056 --> 00:14:20,090 Fran, what's up? What's going on? 282 00:14:20,091 --> 00:14:22,859 Where's your sister? Gracie! 283 00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:25,595 Uh, Fran, she's down the street. She's not gonna hear you. 284 00:14:25,596 --> 00:14:27,031 Oh. 285 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,532 What is it, Fran? 286 00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:29,533 Hey, 287 00:14:30,601 --> 00:14:32,536 there's a four-day weekend coming up. 288 00:14:32,537 --> 00:14:34,738 - Where should we go? - Uh, the Hamptons. 289 00:14:34,739 --> 00:14:36,474 - Skiing. - Horseback riding. 290 00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:38,308 Bermuda it is. 291 00:14:44,616 --> 00:14:49,253 Ah. Well, Miss Fine, this is the perfect place 292 00:14:49,254 --> 00:14:50,487 for a family vacation. 293 00:14:50,488 --> 00:14:51,688 Mm-hmm. 294 00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:52,957 Here's tattoo. 295 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:56,660 I mean, to you. 296 00:14:56,661 --> 00:14:59,363 Maxwell: My God. I hope she didn't hear that. 297 00:14:59,364 --> 00:15:02,833 Fran: Oh, is this gonna be a piece of cake. 298 00:15:05,736 --> 00:15:07,571 You know, Mr. Sheffield, 299 00:15:07,572 --> 00:15:09,473 Brighton and Maggie are gonna be at the disco 300 00:15:09,474 --> 00:15:11,208 for at least another hour. 301 00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:13,410 So that'll give us a chance to talk, 302 00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:17,348 you know, about the kids, the house. 303 00:15:19,217 --> 00:15:20,918 Fran: Did I remember to wax? 304 00:15:24,589 --> 00:15:26,890 Well, we're on vacation, Miss Fine. 305 00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:29,492 A little time alone together will give me a chance 306 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,429 to see a side of you I haven't seen. 307 00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:33,997 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, 308 00:15:33,998 --> 00:15:36,367 I think you've seen just about all my sides. 309 00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:39,503 Oh, only your good side, Miss Fine. 310 00:15:39,504 --> 00:15:42,273 I've yet to see your backside. 311 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:43,607 Bad side! 312 00:15:53,384 --> 00:15:56,019 So, you've done wonders with the children. 313 00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:57,721 I'm... I'm amazed at how Brighton 314 00:15:57,722 --> 00:15:59,557 is really applying himself this year 315 00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:02,626 I have to say I was little concerned about his Math grades. 316 00:16:04,295 --> 00:16:07,431 Yeah, well, you know it was very wise to hire a tutor. 317 00:16:07,432 --> 00:16:08,732 Oh, yeah. 318 00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:11,335 Fran: Yada yada yada. We're drifting. 319 00:16:11,336 --> 00:16:13,296 Gotta get this puppy back on track. 320 00:16:14,605 --> 00:16:16,740 Oh, boy, I'll tell you, 321 00:16:16,741 --> 00:16:19,543 it is so humid here. 322 00:16:19,544 --> 00:16:21,778 How about a swim? 323 00:16:21,779 --> 00:16:22,859 Fran: And we're there. 324 00:16:27,318 --> 00:16:28,818 Great idea. You know what? 325 00:16:28,819 --> 00:16:31,155 I'll go change into my bathing suit, 326 00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:33,657 I'll tuck Gracie in, and I'll be right back. 327 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,194 Fran: Watch me work this walk. 328 00:16:43,368 --> 00:16:45,035 Oy, that's a turn-on. 329 00:16:48,306 --> 00:16:49,907 Well, good night, sweetie. 330 00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:51,709 Sweet dreams. Love you. 331 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:53,009 Fran. 332 00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:54,578 What? 333 00:16:54,579 --> 00:16:56,546 You know I can't sleep when we're on a trip. 334 00:16:56,547 --> 00:16:58,382 Will you sleep with me? 335 00:16:58,383 --> 00:17:00,303 Fran: Uh. Right words, wrong Sheffield. 336 00:17:03,154 --> 00:17:05,222 Okay, honey. 337 00:17:05,223 --> 00:17:07,791 Why don't you just rest? Maybe you'll get sleepy. 338 00:17:14,899 --> 00:17:16,419 - Sleepy yet? - Nope. 339 00:17:18,002 --> 00:17:19,102 Would you be for 10 bucks? 340 00:17:20,304 --> 00:17:21,938 How about a story? 341 00:17:21,939 --> 00:17:23,507 Oh, honey, it's getting really late. 342 00:17:23,508 --> 00:17:25,142 I'm not gonna go to sleep unless you tell me... 343 00:17:25,143 --> 00:17:27,311 Okay, here's the story 344 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,879 about a man named Jed, 345 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,544 a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed. 346 00:17:30,556 --> 00:17:31,115 Fran. 347 00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:32,282 Fran. 348 00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:34,317 You gotta get a life. 349 00:17:34,318 --> 00:17:35,686 I'm trying! 350 00:17:38,356 --> 00:17:41,024 Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. 351 00:17:41,025 --> 00:17:43,794 Why don't you just close your eyes? 352 00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:46,596 Okay. Shh. 353 00:17:48,466 --> 00:17:50,267 - Fran? - Yeah. 354 00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:53,537 Will you promise me you'll stay with us forever? 355 00:17:53,538 --> 00:17:54,905 Honey, I'm counting on it. 356 00:17:57,342 --> 00:18:01,144 Sometimes I worry that everything's gonna change. 357 00:18:01,145 --> 00:18:03,547 Um, well, 358 00:18:03,548 --> 00:18:06,750 you know, sometimes a little change is a good thing. 359 00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,719 - No, it's not. - Why? 360 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,354 'Cause if you don't like it, you can never go back 361 00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:11,789 to the way things were. 362 00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:13,590 - But what if you do like it? - What if you don't? 363 00:18:13,591 --> 00:18:14,671 Well, what's it to you? 364 00:18:18,162 --> 00:18:21,732 Maxwell: Oh, God, what am I doing? 365 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:23,567 This is a test, isn't it? 366 00:18:23,568 --> 00:18:27,304 Yeah, you want to see if I can control myself. 367 00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:32,009 I'm going to prove something to you once and for all. 368 00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:33,010 I can't. 369 00:18:38,049 --> 00:18:40,084 Oh, Miss Fine. 370 00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:41,785 Why aren't you in your thong? 371 00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:42,886 I mean, thuit. 372 00:18:44,989 --> 00:18:46,256 Bathing suit. 373 00:18:49,227 --> 00:18:52,396 You know, I really didn't feel like changing. 374 00:18:52,397 --> 00:18:54,064 Um, 375 00:18:54,065 --> 00:18:56,533 I don't think it's the right time for us to take a swim. 376 00:18:58,536 --> 00:18:59,670 Right. 377 00:18:59,671 --> 00:19:02,005 Right, I, uh, yes, I understand. 378 00:19:03,341 --> 00:19:04,341 Hmm. 379 00:19:08,846 --> 00:19:09,846 How about now? 380 00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:19,323 Actually, I... I was thinking of maybe playing a nice 381 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,758 friendly game of ping-pong. 382 00:19:21,759 --> 00:19:24,128 Ah. Yes, ping-pong. 383 00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:25,462 - Right. - Safe. 384 00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:26,463 Fun. 385 00:19:28,799 --> 00:19:30,433 ( Maxwell clears throat ) 386 00:19:30,434 --> 00:19:31,994 - Ready? - Mm-hmm. 387 00:19:33,237 --> 00:19:34,270 Oh. 388 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,274 - Oh, you. - Whoop. 389 00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:38,342 ( laughs ) 390 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:39,476 Up-de-do. 391 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,447 - To you. - Hup. 392 00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,015 - Hup. Hup. - Hup. Hup. 393 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:53,490 Yeah! Oh, yeah! 394 00:19:53,491 --> 00:19:54,758 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 395 00:19:54,759 --> 00:19:56,926 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 396 00:19:56,927 --> 00:19:59,596 Oh, yeah. Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah. 397 00:19:59,597 --> 00:20:02,165 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! ( grunts ) 398 00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:04,567 Oh! 399 00:20:04,568 --> 00:20:08,338 ( Panting and moaning ) 400 00:20:12,677 --> 00:20:14,878 ( laughing ) 401 00:20:17,248 --> 00:20:18,248 Wow. 402 00:20:20,785 --> 00:20:24,554 ( Sighing ) 403 00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:30,193 Chinese or Italian? 404 00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:31,261 Both. 405 00:20:40,471 --> 00:20:41,972 Thank you. 406 00:20:41,973 --> 00:20:43,740 Fran, I know you're still in pain 407 00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:46,109 from getting your tattoo removed, 408 00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:48,779 but I'm still getting one when I turn 18. 409 00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:50,614 Well, not if you want to be buried next 410 00:20:50,615 --> 00:20:52,575 to your husband in a Jewish cemetery. 411 00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:56,687 Well, I'm not Jewish. 412 00:20:57,855 --> 00:20:59,389 Honey, don't be so selfish. 413 00:20:59,390 --> 00:21:01,658 You know I live vicariously through you. 414 00:21:03,728 --> 00:21:05,228 Oh, you want your donut? 415 00:21:05,229 --> 00:21:06,596 Oh, yeah. 416 00:21:06,597 --> 00:21:09,099 Oh, isn't it ironic? 417 00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:11,668 Every donut I touch ends up on my hips. 418 00:21:16,206 --> 00:21:18,575 Oh, Ma, how sweet. 419 00:21:18,576 --> 00:21:22,212 You brought me a chocolate-chip danish to ease my pain. 420 00:21:22,213 --> 00:21:24,014 Uh, 421 00:21:24,015 --> 00:21:25,015 yeah. 422 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,789 Sweetheart, I'm so glad you took my advice. 423 00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:35,692 Now you can be buried in a Jewish cemetery. 424 00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:38,161 Otherwise, 425 00:21:38,162 --> 00:21:40,864 we would have had to dig a hole in the backyard. 426 00:21:42,533 --> 00:21:44,668 Next to Boo Boo the cat. 427 00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:51,040 Ah, Ma, Boo Boo didn't die. He ran away. 428 00:21:52,677 --> 00:21:54,911 Ah, yeah. 429 00:22:07,592 --> 00:22:10,960 ( Jazz music playing ) 30348

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