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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:03,602 --> 00:00:07,639
Oh, I can't believe we're here to
see "The Rosie O'Donnell Show."
2
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,275
( applause and cheering )
3
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:18,750
After his incredibly memorable
performance in the hit film,
4
00:00:18,751 --> 00:00:20,051
"Four Weddings and a Funeral,"
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00:00:20,052 --> 00:00:21,686
our first guest has
gone on to become
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00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:23,221
one of today's
hottest movie stars.
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His new movie, "Extreme
Measures," opens next Friday.
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00:00:26,124 --> 00:00:28,225
Please say hello to Hugh Grant.
9
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Rosie: Hello
10
00:00:38,237 --> 00:00:40,105
- Hugh: Hi.
- Rosie: How are ya?
11
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:41,806
You shot it here in New York?
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00:00:41,807 --> 00:00:43,108
We shot most of it
here in New York.
13
00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:45,042
Yeah, yeah,
that's an experience.
14
00:00:45,043 --> 00:00:46,511
Um,
I mean it's a nice experience.
15
00:00:46,512 --> 00:00:48,913
Don't get me wrong, but just,
took some adjustment.
16
00:00:48,914 --> 00:00:50,381
You know,
I'm used to English film sets
17
00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:52,517
where everyone's very very
nice to you all the time,
18
00:00:52,518 --> 00:00:53,951
and "hello, love,
can I get you anything?"
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"-Cup of tea, donuts?" that
kind of stuff. -Right.
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00:00:56,021 --> 00:00:57,589
And here, I find myself
getting cups of tea
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and donuts for the drivers, umm.
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( laughing )
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00:01:01,527 --> 00:01:03,628
Oh, is he to die for or what?
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00:01:03,629 --> 00:01:05,096
Oh, that thick kinda hair
25
00:01:05,097 --> 00:01:07,699
and that adorable
English accent.
26
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,701
Ugh, me stuck in
the house all day,
27
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where am I gonna ever
meet a guy like that?
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( Jazz music playing )
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All right, we're back.
30
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Hey, I'm on TV.
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Hey, buddy.
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Stifle!
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00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,117
Uh, that's my lovely
assistant telling me
34
00:01:26,118 --> 00:01:28,587
that my son will not
go down for his nap.
35
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,588
Uh, put on C-Span,
36
00:01:30,589 --> 00:01:32,657
those senators put each
other to sleep.
37
00:01:35,027 --> 00:01:37,529
That's pretty funny.
Who said that?
38
00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:39,064
Try that, try that.
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00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,097
Rosie: Stand up.
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Oh, look, I'm on the monitor.
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Oh, good. The camera puts
ten pounds on the hair too.
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Rosie: Hey!
Fran: Hi!
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00:01:46,438 --> 00:01:48,172
Rosie: Hi! How are ya?
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- I'm good, thank you.
- What's your name?
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00:01:49,975 --> 00:01:54,245
Uh, umm, Fran Fine.
Fran Fine, Miss Rosie O'Donnell.
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( Camera clicks )
47
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You know, it's two for
one on Saturday at Pathmark.
48
00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:01,987
I like glossy.
But if you like a matte finish,
49
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:03,154
- I'm sure...
- Listen, I'm not Sally Jesse.
50
00:02:03,155 --> 00:02:04,655
I can't pretend I care, okay?
51
00:02:04,656 --> 00:02:05,689
Okay.
52
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:07,625
All right,
how many kids you got, Fran?
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00:02:07,626 --> 00:02:09,260
Kids? No.
Know what I mean?
54
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All the,
the whining and the diapers
55
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and the schlepping, puh-lease.
56
00:02:13,465 --> 00:02:14,599
Oh, yeah?
What do you do for a living?
57
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,634
I'm a nanny.
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00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,169
There you have it.
59
00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:20,672
Oh, let's see what this is.
Emergency...
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00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:23,441
Hey, Fran, your trick worked.
Two minutes with C-Span,
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- my son is out like a light.
- Aah!
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Of course,
watching all the senators,
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00:02:26,612 --> 00:02:28,652
he now has a hooker
in the crib with him.
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00:02:30,916 --> 00:02:32,583
- That's funny.
- You're funny.
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00:02:32,584 --> 00:02:34,219
I like your laugh.
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00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,387
Listen, why don't you meet me
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00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:36,521
in the dressing room
after the show?
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00:02:36,522 --> 00:02:38,456
- We could talk.
- Oh, oh, my God.
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00:02:38,457 --> 00:02:40,191
This is incredible.
I, uh, I swear,
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I have dreamed of this
exact moment.
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Only my outfit was tighter,
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00:02:44,096 --> 00:02:46,056
my hair was bigger
and you were Streisand.
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00:02:47,599 --> 00:02:49,601
You can't have everything.
Fran Fine, ladies and gentlemen.
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00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:52,303
We'll be back with Chaka Khan,
right after this.
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00:02:52,304 --> 00:02:54,873
( Applause )
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00:02:57,442 --> 00:03:00,044
♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing Queens ♪
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♪ Till her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪
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00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,080
♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪
79
00:03:03,081 --> 00:03:05,116
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
80
00:03:05,117 --> 00:03:08,787
♪ She was out
on her fanny ♪
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00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,989
♪ So over the bridge from Flushing
to the Sheffield's door ♪
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00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,491
♪ She was there to sell
makeup, but father saw more ♪
83
00:03:13,492 --> 00:03:15,893
♪ She had style, she had
flair, she was there ♪
84
00:03:15,894 --> 00:03:19,463
♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪
85
00:03:19,464 --> 00:03:22,300
♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪
86
00:03:22,301 --> 00:03:24,635
♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪
87
00:03:24,636 --> 00:03:26,004
♪ Now the father finds
her beguiling ♪
88
00:03:26,005 --> 00:03:27,372
♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
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00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,806
♪ And the kids are
actually smiling ♪
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00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:29,907
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
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00:03:29,908 --> 00:03:31,242
♪ She is the lady in red ♪
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00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:35,814
♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪
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♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪
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00:03:37,516 --> 00:03:39,116
♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪
95
00:03:43,021 --> 00:03:45,790
I can't believe we're in
Rosie O'Donnell's dressing room.
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00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:48,559
I'm so nervous, I don't
know what to do with myself.
97
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,295
You know, I'm doin'
what any real fan would do.
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00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:51,496
I'm going through her stuff.
99
00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:56,334
Oh, wow.
She really does shop at Kmart.
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Hey, where's my favorite nanny?
101
00:03:58,471 --> 00:03:59,871
Hey, how's the professor?
102
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:02,373
( laughing )
103
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You're going through
my stuff, aren't ya?
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00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:07,145
Me? Oh, uh, no, no.
105
00:04:07,146 --> 00:04:08,379
This is hers. Here honey.
106
00:04:10,615 --> 00:04:12,216
She went through your stuff.
107
00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:16,888
Oh, I'd like you to meet
my best friend, Val.
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00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:18,990
Oh, I loved you in "Misery".
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00:04:18,991 --> 00:04:21,025
When you broke
James Caan's legs,
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00:04:21,026 --> 00:04:22,627
I was screamin'.
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Yeah, thanks.
112
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You know, I won an Oscar
for that performance.
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- ( Mouthing ) I know.
- Uh, this is Gracie,
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00:04:27,532 --> 00:04:30,035
one of the three beautiful
children that I take care of.
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00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,702
Hi, Gracie.
116
00:04:31,703 --> 00:04:34,172
You know, I care about
them more than myself.
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00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:35,540
Yeah, where are the other two?
118
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,608
Oh, I swapped the tickets
so me and Val could get in.
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00:04:37,609 --> 00:04:39,344
Oh.
120
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,679
Hey, Fran. I was talking
to the producer outside.
121
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,748
What do you think of doing
a weekly spot on the show?
122
00:04:43,749 --> 00:04:45,083
You know, about child care?
123
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:46,717
Oh, my God!
124
00:04:46,718 --> 00:04:48,753
Me? On "The Rosie O'Donnell
Show"?
125
00:04:48,754 --> 00:04:51,622
In front of millions of people?
126
00:04:51,623 --> 00:04:53,357
What's your male demographic?
127
00:04:54,726 --> 00:04:57,095
Hmm, you know,
you're perfect for TV.
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00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:58,496
You're funny, you're beautiful,
129
00:04:58,497 --> 00:04:59,931
and you
obviously adore children.
130
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:02,634
Oh, you know,
I am a nurturer by nature.
131
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,136
- Hmm. -Fran, I have to
go to the bathroom.
132
00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:07,338
Nanny's busy, honey.
Cross your legs.
133
00:05:11,109 --> 00:05:13,978
Uh, honey, let me be the
one to tell your father
134
00:05:13,979 --> 00:05:15,613
about the job on
"Rosie O'Donnell."
135
00:05:15,614 --> 00:05:18,015
He doesn't understand how
I can juggle a million things
136
00:05:18,016 --> 00:05:19,517
and still stay on the ball.
137
00:05:19,518 --> 00:05:21,085
Huh, oh, oh.
138
00:05:21,086 --> 00:05:22,454
Oh. Phew.
139
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,924
Your brother and sister didn't
come with us tonight.
140
00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:28,493
Fran, did you tell
Val not to tell anyone?
141
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:30,728
Oh, who's she gonna tell?
I'm her only friend.
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00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:35,834
Congratulations!
143
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,368
Val!
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00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:40,671
Oh, I'm sorry but you are
all going to have to leave.
145
00:05:40,672 --> 00:05:42,640
This isn't my house.
146
00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:44,008
He's not home.
147
00:05:44,009 --> 00:05:45,009
Photo op!
148
00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:47,044
( Camera shutters clicking )
149
00:05:47,045 --> 00:05:50,748
Oh, I can't tell you how
this job on the "Rosie Show"
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00:05:50,749 --> 00:05:55,486
makes me so...
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
151
00:05:55,487 --> 00:05:57,955
( Everyone singing )
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
152
00:05:57,956 --> 00:06:01,392
It's, it's all right Miss Fine.
Niles told me all about it.
153
00:06:01,393 --> 00:06:02,627
( Door shuts )
154
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:04,328
Why do you have to
be such a yenta?
155
00:06:04,329 --> 00:06:05,563
I am not a yenta.
156
00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:07,064
I'm just sucking up
so he'll tell me
157
00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:11,068
what the thing on the plane
on the way back from Paris was.
158
00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:12,703
Mr. Sheffield, you're not upset
159
00:06:12,704 --> 00:06:14,571
that I'm gonna be
working two jobs?
160
00:06:14,572 --> 00:06:15,773
Two jobs?
161
00:06:15,774 --> 00:06:17,007
What's the other one?
162
00:06:17,008 --> 00:06:19,343
Oh! Here! Yes.
163
00:06:20,946 --> 00:06:23,747
Fran, you were born to
be in front of the camera.
164
00:06:23,748 --> 00:06:25,749
- It's in your genes.
- Oh.
165
00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:28,419
You know,
I was gonna be a model.
166
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:31,389
But, you know what stopped me?
167
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,924
What's in your genes?
168
00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:38,796
- Uh, Mr. Sheffield?
- Hmm?
169
00:06:38,797 --> 00:06:41,098
You know, you're certainly
being supportive.
170
00:06:41,099 --> 00:06:42,467
Ah, well, Miss Fine,
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00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:45,136
that's what I meant when
I said we should be friends.
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00:06:45,137 --> 00:06:46,737
You mean,
when you took back the thing?
173
00:06:46,738 --> 00:06:50,041
Narrator: The definition
of "The Thing"...
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00:06:56,748 --> 00:06:58,282
Miss Fine,
friends should be supportive.
175
00:06:58,283 --> 00:07:00,785
They don't dwell on the past.
176
00:07:00,786 --> 00:07:03,954
Oh, yeah, they do.
I mean, you know,
177
00:07:03,955 --> 00:07:06,491
our people might have
enjoyed "Hogan's Heroes,"
178
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:07,825
but that doesn't mean
179
00:07:07,826 --> 00:07:09,994
that we're gonna go out
and drive a Mercedes.
180
00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:13,264
All right,
we may drive a Mercedes,
181
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:16,534
But it doesn't mean
we're gonna fly Lufthansa.
182
00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:19,603
- Unless we have mileage.
- Yes, yes, yes.
183
00:07:19,604 --> 00:07:21,239
All right, I get the point.
184
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,808
You are never gonna forgive
me for taking back the thing.
185
00:07:23,809 --> 00:07:24,842
- Well,
- What are you two doing,
186
00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:26,678
airing your dirty laundry
in public?
187
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,146
Let's go into the office
where we can be more private.
188
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,183
( Door slams shut )
189
00:07:33,885 --> 00:07:35,453
Speak into the flower.
190
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,492
Please welcome,
America's favorite nanny,
191
00:07:41,493 --> 00:07:43,294
Fran Fine.
192
00:07:43,295 --> 00:07:46,897
( Applause )
193
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,308
All right,
your first letter right now.
194
00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:59,644
"Dear Fran,
my son sits too close
195
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:02,647
to our TV set when he's
watching. What should I do?"
196
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,048
From Marian, Dayton, Ohio.
197
00:08:04,049 --> 00:08:07,385
Oh, well, Mary, here's the
thing. Get a bigger TV.
198
00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:09,853
This way, his head will be
comparatively smaller
199
00:08:09,854 --> 00:08:11,588
and it won't block
your view, honey.
200
00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:15,459
Man on speaker: Score!
201
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:18,963
( music playing )
202
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:33,744
This is from Jackie Hall
in New Jersey.
203
00:08:33,745 --> 00:08:36,781
"Dear Fran,
I choose not to breastfeed.
204
00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:40,050
But my husband thinks I should.
What should I do?"
205
00:08:40,051 --> 00:08:42,920
Well, that depends, Jackie.
Do you have any children?
206
00:08:42,921 --> 00:08:44,955
( laughing )
207
00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:49,694
( audience cheering )
208
00:08:56,301 --> 00:08:58,936
I can't do no more.
209
00:08:58,937 --> 00:09:00,037
All right, one more.
210
00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,409
Thank you!
211
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:06,277
Bye, everyone!
I love you!
212
00:09:06,278 --> 00:09:09,980
( People cheering )
213
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,861
You know, Maxwell,
I think it's nice
214
00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:26,431
Nanny Fine is doing
that little talk show thing.
215
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,933
It gives us so much
more time together.
216
00:09:28,934 --> 00:09:32,370
Our relationship's just
grown by leaps and bounds.
217
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,340
Miss Fine, you're back.
218
00:09:36,341 --> 00:09:37,474
Ooh, I do hope
you've come to kibbitz.
219
00:09:37,475 --> 00:09:39,677
I do love it when we kibbitz.
220
00:09:39,678 --> 00:09:41,245
Mr. Sheffield,
I just wanted to say that,
221
00:09:41,246 --> 00:09:43,347
you know,
I know I haven't been here a lot
222
00:09:43,348 --> 00:09:45,984
and I really feel
guilty about it.
223
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,619
And not just the usual
224
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:51,289
low level hum of guilt
that every Jew feels.
225
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:52,756
Oh, nonsense, Miss Fine.
226
00:09:52,757 --> 00:09:54,191
Just, just promise
me one thing though.
227
00:09:54,192 --> 00:09:56,260
When you become famous,
you won't forget us?
228
00:09:56,261 --> 00:09:56,799
Hmm?
229
00:09:56,811 --> 00:09:58,462
Of course, there are a
couple of little things
230
00:09:58,463 --> 00:10:00,497
we can forget and move on, eh?
231
00:10:00,498 --> 00:10:02,833
No, no, no.
We'll always have Paris.
232
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,505
Nanny Fine, do you mind? We were
in the middle of something.
233
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:10,240
This is a place of business.
( perfume sprays )
234
00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:11,642
Oh, it's okay.
235
00:10:11,643 --> 00:10:13,811
I have lot of messages
to return.
236
00:10:13,812 --> 00:10:17,582
Look at this. Proctor and
Gamble, Gerber's, Pampers.
237
00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:21,919
What exactly does a national
spokesperson do, anyway?
238
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,823
They get their best friend
C.C. to be their agent.
239
00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:28,459
Oh, you know, I really am
240
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:31,462
too nice to negotiate big deals.
241
00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:33,631
I guess I should
have a ruthless,
242
00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:36,701
blood sucking leech on my side.
243
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,669
I'll take that as a yes!
244
00:10:39,971 --> 00:10:41,672
What exactly does an agent get?
245
00:10:41,673 --> 00:10:42,873
- You mean you don't know?
- No.
246
00:10:42,874 --> 00:10:44,641
- 50%.
- C.C.!
247
00:10:44,642 --> 00:10:46,076
Okay, 40%.
248
00:10:47,946 --> 00:10:50,614
Miss Fine and Miss Babcock
walking arm in arm.
249
00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:52,984
Isn't that one of the Biblical
signs of the Apocalypse?
250
00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:04,862
Fran, I thought you were
going to read me my book.
251
00:11:04,863 --> 00:11:08,065
Oh, ho ho.
Little girl.
252
00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:10,868
If you can't read by now,
start suing your school system.
253
00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:14,638
Nanny Fine, listen to this.
254
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:17,975
"The children of
St. Andrews' Orphanage"
255
00:11:17,976 --> 00:11:20,244
would love to meet you.
256
00:11:20,245 --> 00:11:24,281
"I'm sorry, we can't afford
your personal appearance fee."
257
00:11:24,282 --> 00:11:26,650
Yeah, right.
258
00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:27,884
I'm sorry too.
259
00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:33,291
B, what are you
doin' home so late?
260
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:34,791
Well, I had detention.
261
00:11:34,792 --> 00:11:37,528
I thought someone was gonna
come down to my school,
262
00:11:37,529 --> 00:11:40,464
sit on my teacher's desk, cross
her legs and get me out of it.
263
00:11:40,465 --> 00:11:42,599
- Oh.
- Quit whining.
264
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,701
Fran forgot to chaperone
me on my date.
265
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:46,103
You don't hear me complaining.
266
00:11:47,939 --> 00:11:50,575
A hickey, Maggie?
Did you really think that
267
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:52,343
you were gonna hide
a hickie from me
268
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,545
with a little pressed powder?
269
00:11:54,546 --> 00:11:57,948
You need oil-based concealer.
270
00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:02,353
Oh, kids.
I've been neglecting you.
271
00:12:02,354 --> 00:12:03,721
I'm so sorry.
272
00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:05,856
It's just because I've
been so busy with Rosie,
273
00:12:05,857 --> 00:12:07,258
I'm forgetting everything.
274
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:09,594
I don't even know how
I get dressed in the morning.
275
00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:12,263
Oh! My God!
Oh, it's a thong, okay.
276
00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:18,536
Now, children, I do hope
we're not pestering Miss Fine.
277
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:20,237
We've all got to try to be
a little more supportive.
278
00:12:20,238 --> 00:12:21,638
With her new found celebrity,
279
00:12:21,639 --> 00:12:24,741
Miss Fine is bound to be a
little less accessible to us.
280
00:12:24,742 --> 00:12:26,076
Now run along, go on.
281
00:12:26,077 --> 00:12:28,812
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I'm just as accessible
282
00:12:28,813 --> 00:12:30,447
as I always was.
283
00:12:30,448 --> 00:12:32,416
( Doorbell rings )
284
00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:33,885
I'm telling you,
285
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:37,454
I'm still the same
old schlub you met
286
00:12:37,455 --> 00:12:38,489
when I came here.
287
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:40,090
Hi, Trumpy!
288
00:12:45,797 --> 00:12:47,632
Donald Trump,
I'd like you to meet...
289
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,934
Oh, what am I talking about?
290
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:53,804
All you handsome
zillionaires know each other.
291
00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:55,706
Donald!
292
00:12:55,707 --> 00:12:58,075
Maxwell Sheffield,
how do you do?
293
00:12:58,076 --> 00:12:59,710
You know, Donald
called me on "The Rosie Show"
294
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:02,413
and invited me to a party
at Elaine's for Demi,
295
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:05,374
who is on the cover of "George."
But I don't wanna name drop.
296
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,619
- I'll see you in the limo.
- All right.
297
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,820
( Cell phone rings )
298
00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:13,925
Hello?
299
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:16,127
I told you not to call
me on this line again.
300
00:13:17,729 --> 00:13:18,929
( Cell phone rings )
301
00:13:21,266 --> 00:13:22,466
That's better.
302
00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:28,572
Aah, you know, Mr. Sheffield?
303
00:13:28,573 --> 00:13:31,808
A lot of men in your position
would be threatened by me
304
00:13:31,809 --> 00:13:34,044
runnin' with movers and shakers
305
00:13:34,045 --> 00:13:36,847
rubbin' elbows and
God knows what else.
306
00:13:36,848 --> 00:13:38,115
Hmm.
307
00:13:38,116 --> 00:13:39,550
But not you.
308
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:40,784
You're really happy for me.
309
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,354
Now I know you
meant when you said
310
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:45,689
you wanted us to be friends.
311
00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:47,524
Of course.
312
00:13:47,525 --> 00:13:48,926
I am very happy for you.
313
00:13:50,361 --> 00:13:51,801
- Bye.
- Bye.
314
00:13:54,399 --> 00:13:56,200
Niles, fetch me a bottle
of champagne, would you?
315
00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:58,135
To toast Miss Fine's success?
316
00:13:58,136 --> 00:14:00,096
No, to shoot my eye
out with a cork!
317
00:14:10,815 --> 00:14:12,883
Come on, Nanny Fine,
we don't want to be late.
318
00:14:12,884 --> 00:14:14,151
You know, we're meeting
319
00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:17,321
Uma and Uda to see
Emma with Oprah.
320
00:14:17,322 --> 00:14:20,991
Then dinner with Kira,
Courtney and Keanu at,
321
00:14:20,992 --> 00:14:22,826
oh, what's that place again?
322
00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:24,295
Oh, I'm so bad with names.
323
00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:28,499
( Sighs )
324
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,967
Niles, hypothetically,
325
00:14:30,968 --> 00:14:33,036
if you cared very
deeply for someone,
326
00:14:33,037 --> 00:14:35,472
but feared losing them,
327
00:14:35,473 --> 00:14:37,708
what would you say
to get them to stay?
328
00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:40,778
Oh, sir.
I'm not going anywhere.
329
00:14:42,213 --> 00:14:44,148
Not you, you blithering idiot!
330
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,617
Miss Fine.
331
00:14:46,618 --> 00:14:48,552
( Doorbell rings )
332
00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:51,788
Well, aren't you
gonna answer the door?
333
00:14:51,789 --> 00:14:53,691
Oh, is that what that bell is?
334
00:14:53,692 --> 00:14:55,358
Ah, you know, I never knew that
335
00:14:55,359 --> 00:14:57,079
because I'm such a
blithering idiot.
336
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,901
Oh, thank God you're all right.
337
00:15:04,902 --> 00:15:06,103
Oh, why shouldn't I be?
338
00:15:06,104 --> 00:15:07,871
- Give me a hug.
- What?
339
00:15:07,872 --> 00:15:10,975
Oh! I was so worried.
340
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:12,109
Make yourself scarce.
341
00:15:15,446 --> 00:15:17,681
Bubbe Sophie came
to her in a dream
342
00:15:17,682 --> 00:15:21,185
and told her you were
gonna have a horrible accident.
343
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:22,420
You rushed over
here just because
344
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,341
someone appeared to
you in a dream?
345
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:27,758
Does everyone in your family
346
00:15:27,759 --> 00:15:30,461
take this Bubbe Sophie
thing seriously?
347
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:32,863
They do if they know
what's good for them.
348
00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:34,365
She told me,
349
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:37,768
you were gonna come
home from work,
350
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:41,939
and kiss a perky
brunette at the door,
351
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:46,076
and take a terrible fall
over the ottoman.
352
00:15:46,077 --> 00:15:50,180
Ma, that's the opening
of "The "Dick Van Dyke Show."
353
00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:51,648
I'm telling you.
354
00:15:51,649 --> 00:15:54,151
It was in this very house.
355
00:15:55,653 --> 00:15:56,921
Look.
356
00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:58,122
Here's Richie.
357
00:16:01,492 --> 00:16:03,060
And there's Millie.
358
00:16:13,071 --> 00:16:16,674
Fran: Oh, good night, Niles.
Oh, I'm so full.
359
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:18,141
You know what,
for breakfast tomorrow,
360
00:16:18,142 --> 00:16:20,142
just give me two
Belgian waffles.
361
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:25,182
( moaning )
362
00:16:25,183 --> 00:16:27,985
Oh, no. No.
363
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:30,888
( Moaning continues )
364
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:39,930
Mr. Sheffield, Mr. Sheffield.
Mr. Sheffield.
365
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:42,099
Oh, ah, ah, where am I?
366
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,402
Oh, Miss Fine,
what are you doing here?
367
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,837
Well, I heard
moaning and screaming
368
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:47,871
coming from your room
369
00:16:47,872 --> 00:16:50,107
and I figured I should
be a part of it.
370
00:16:53,611 --> 00:16:56,112
I just had a horrible dream.
371
00:16:56,113 --> 00:16:57,881
Calm down.
372
00:16:57,882 --> 00:17:02,253
Tell me what you dreamt and
I'll tell you what it meant.
373
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:05,188
Well, uh, I was at a party,
374
00:17:05,189 --> 00:17:07,791
some sort of a celebration for,
for you.
375
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:13,830
Do you know someone
named Bubbe Sophie?
376
00:17:13,831 --> 00:17:16,734
My Bubbe Sophie
came to you in a dream?
377
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,603
Ugh, she was horrible.
Wretched.
378
00:17:19,604 --> 00:17:21,138
They said she looked like me.
379
00:17:21,139 --> 00:17:22,739
Oh, with a fantastic body.
380
00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:27,011
Anyway, we were in a cemetery.
381
00:17:28,279 --> 00:17:31,415
Everyone was having
a great time.
382
00:17:31,416 --> 00:17:36,319
We were just about
to toast your success
383
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,554
when...
384
00:17:38,956 --> 00:17:41,224
♪ Maxwell! ♪
385
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:45,829
♪ What's this I hear ♪
386
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:48,399
♪ About your
nanny on a talk show ♪
387
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,066
♪ On a talk show! ♪
388
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,335
♪ Who's the schmuck ♪
389
00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:54,371
♪ Who let her do
this to your children? ♪
390
00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:56,673
♪ To your children ♪
391
00:17:56,674 --> 00:17:57,675
♪ With a blink ♪
392
00:17:57,676 --> 00:17:59,143
♪ We understand ♪
393
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:01,078
♪ You've taken
back the thing ♪
394
00:18:01,079 --> 00:18:02,412
♪ Yes, the thing ♪
395
00:18:02,413 --> 00:18:04,781
♪ She should be so
happy just to have you ♪
396
00:18:04,782 --> 00:18:06,917
♪ As a friend ♪
397
00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:11,621
My Bubbe said that?
398
00:18:11,622 --> 00:18:14,691
Sounds crazy, no?
399
00:18:14,692 --> 00:18:18,095
♪ If your nanny stays
on Rosie's show ♪
400
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:20,598
♪ The kids will
grow up wrong ♪
401
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:21,631
♪ No ♪
402
00:18:21,632 --> 00:18:24,101
♪ Miss Babcock
will get Max ♪
403
00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:25,436
♪ Ooh ♪
404
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,538
♪ Fran will stay
single all her life ♪
405
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:28,706
♪ Her life! ♪
406
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,277
♪ Phee phee phee ♪
407
00:18:34,278 --> 00:18:36,213
♪ That's Fran's fate ♪
408
00:18:36,214 --> 00:18:40,517
♪ If she stays
on Rosie's show ♪
409
00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:48,191
I'm sorry Miss Fine,
did I scare you?
410
00:18:48,192 --> 00:18:50,360
Uh, yeah, I'm terrified.
411
00:18:53,264 --> 00:18:56,567
So, what do you think
this dream could mean?
412
00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:58,301
Oh, well, it's obvious.
413
00:18:58,302 --> 00:19:00,070
Something horrible's
gonna happen to me
414
00:19:00,071 --> 00:19:02,205
unless I quit "The Rosie Show."
415
00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:03,274
No way.
416
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:05,676
You think?
417
00:19:06,744 --> 00:19:09,246
You're absolutely right.
418
00:19:09,247 --> 00:19:11,882
Yeah, thank God I
don't buy into all that
419
00:19:11,883 --> 00:19:14,018
Bubbe Sophie mishigas.
420
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:15,719
What?
421
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,053
Mishigas.
422
00:19:17,054 --> 00:19:18,755
Means crap.
423
00:19:18,756 --> 00:19:20,023
No, no, I mean,
424
00:19:20,024 --> 00:19:22,359
I mean why don't you believe
in Bubbe Sophie
425
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,528
like your entire family?
426
00:19:24,529 --> 00:19:27,564
Oh, you think I'm gonna make
a life altering decision based
427
00:19:27,565 --> 00:19:31,001
on some woman I never even met
that comes to you in a dream?
428
00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:32,269
What am I nuts?
429
00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:37,408
Now, if Barbra had
come to you in a dream...
430
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:38,709
( shudders audibly )
431
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:45,482
Oh, don't do "Funny Girl," sir.
432
00:19:45,483 --> 00:19:48,185
Barbra is so obvious.
433
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:49,686
Do fiddler instead.
434
00:19:51,389 --> 00:19:54,291
Sir, I said the whole
dream idea was ridiculous.
435
00:19:54,292 --> 00:19:56,593
Stop underestimating
Miss Fine's intelligence
436
00:19:56,594 --> 00:19:58,428
and be honest with
her for a change.
437
00:19:58,429 --> 00:20:00,297
Tell her how you feel.
438
00:20:00,298 --> 00:20:03,333
Oh my God, that's the Thing!
439
00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:06,136
You told her how you felt
and then you took it back.
440
00:20:06,137 --> 00:20:08,305
Oh, no.
You'd never be that stupid.
441
00:20:11,642 --> 00:20:13,109
Hi, Mr. Sheffield.
442
00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:15,378
Oh, there you are, Miss Fine.
Where have you been?
443
00:20:15,379 --> 00:20:17,014
Hanging with the hip crowd?
444
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:18,816
No, visiting Yetta.
445
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:20,577
I was with the hip
replacement crowd.
446
00:20:21,686 --> 00:20:23,654
But you know,
she told me not to be so quick
447
00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:26,690
to blow off your dream
about Bubbe Sophie.
448
00:20:26,691 --> 00:20:28,692
She said that it was a sign that
449
00:20:28,693 --> 00:20:30,861
I wasn't meant to
be in the limelight.
450
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,597
And, you know, the kids need me.
451
00:20:33,598 --> 00:20:35,298
- Hmm.
- You need me.
452
00:20:35,299 --> 00:20:39,069
For the kids, calm down.
453
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:42,239
So I told Rosie that this week
was gonna be my last show.
454
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,975
- Oh!
- Oh, well, that's your decision.
455
00:20:45,976 --> 00:20:48,512
And that's why I have an
office and you clean it.
456
00:20:51,349 --> 00:20:52,829
- Got fired?
- Yeah.
457
00:20:54,185 --> 00:20:56,687
Wait till you
see my replacements.
458
00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:58,855
They got this
retired couple from Florida
459
00:20:58,856 --> 00:21:02,025
doing cheapo restaurant
reviews. Ugh!
460
00:21:02,026 --> 00:21:04,060
- Man: It's $10.95 for a full dinner.
- Rosie: Yeah?
461
00:21:04,061 --> 00:21:05,195
- Includes salad,
- yeah?
462
00:21:05,196 --> 00:21:06,963
- Soup, dessert,
- Yeah, yeah?
463
00:21:06,964 --> 00:21:08,899
- Coffee, and then,
- Uh-huh? Yeah?
464
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,701
- If you go with four people,
- Yeah?
465
00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:12,770
- You get one free!
- You get one dinner free!
466
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,438
Yeah!
467
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:18,442
Can you believe they bumped me
for these two characters?
468
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,911
Please!
My parents could do better.
469
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,019
Here's the sketch, boss.
470
00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:31,822
I gotta get ready
for my dream date.
471
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:33,557
With who?
472
00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:35,425
Well, I don't know.
473
00:21:35,426 --> 00:21:36,726
I have to fall asleep first.
474
00:21:41,232 --> 00:21:43,767
- Laura.
- Sal.
475
00:21:43,768 --> 00:21:46,170
Hi.
I'm nearly done.
476
00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:48,872
Oh, darling,
I hope you're not upset,
477
00:21:48,873 --> 00:21:52,308
but I did something
I wasn't supposed to.
478
00:21:52,309 --> 00:21:53,610
Oh, honey,
479
00:21:53,611 --> 00:21:56,513
it couldn't have been that bad.
480
00:21:56,514 --> 00:21:58,415
- I mean,
- What'd you do?
481
00:22:00,384 --> 00:22:03,687
I pushed our beds together.
482
00:22:06,557 --> 00:22:07,690
Come on, let's go home.
483
00:22:13,865 --> 00:22:14,865
Oh, no.
484
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,202
You're not going anywhere.
485
00:22:19,203 --> 00:22:23,440
Alan wants to know
what the thing is.
486
00:22:23,441 --> 00:22:27,510
Oh! Ma!
487
00:22:38,022 --> 00:22:40,990
( Jazz music playing )
35733
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