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Yes, we're in Paris.

Miss Fine confused my suitcase with one containing

C.C.'s dog Chester, got locked in the closet of a 747,

and well, suffice it say, we're here.

Which I must admit, is not entirely unpleasant.

For God sakes! I'm in Paris

with a beautiful woman.

Come on, let's blow this nightclub

and see where life takes us.

Apparently, French wine has a very low alcohol content,

'cause life took us right back to the airport.

Ooh! Ohh!

What the hell was that?

Oh, just a little bump in the road.

What, we hit a deer? We're in the air.

Oh, you have to picture yourself going along a little country lane

with a few dips and pot holes.

What the bloody hell was that?!

Oh, Mr. Sheffield!

Mr. Sheffield, I just want you to know

that these last 3 years

have been just the best years of my life.

I love you.

Well, thank God it was just a little bump in the road.

And after 3 long years of working it...

I mean, working there,

I had finally got him to say it.

Um, Miss Fine, be...

before we go in, I think I should try to explain to you

exactly what happened up there.

Oh, it's ok.

It was all that wine and escargot.

These weren't good shoes anyway.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Um,

no. Uh, you know how it is when you're...

when you're facing death,

how you sometimes say things without thinking.

No.

Miss Fine, I thought we were spending our last moments

on earth together up there,

and so that's why I, um...

you know, said...

the thing.

The thing?

You know, that I felt that way at that time in that place.

Oh, my God! You're taking back the thing?

Well, please, Miss Fine, in... in... in...

in the heat of the moment, sometimes people just blurt things out.

You blurted prematurely?

Are you... are you very upset?

No, no, I'll be fine.

It's perfectly understandable.

Uhh, please, don't touch me.

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Thanks, Fran. What a beautiful doll.

I know.

You know, she's Marie Antoinette.

Here you go.

Oh, and lookie here.

This is that restaurant that your father promised to take me to,

but then he changed his mind and took it back,

which he oft does.

I had made reservations, but the thing was...

There's that thing again.

Fran, I have a report due for school.

I'm supposed to pick a woman with an interesting career.

Oh, Gracie,

I don't know if there's enough to write a whole report about me.

There isn't. That's why I picked Miss Babcock.

Nanny Fine,

don't be hurt just because I'm closer to little Gretel than you are.

Gretel never said that.

Ooh! Aren't we defensive.

There's nothing wrong with being just a pretty face,

in fact, it's a plus if you have no skills.

I've got skills.

Nanny Fine,

identifying what's in the Godivas without a guide

is not a skill.

Oh, nougat.

Oh, come on,

you must know the only reason you got this job

is because of your looks.

Hey, hey, that is not true.

I got this job because I lied on my résumé.

Men of Maxwell's class

enjoy keeping women like you around to flirt with.

You know, you're right.

Now, that's bad because...

He doesn't respect you.

Don't you know why you get away with murder?

It's because of those skimpy little outfits you bounce around in.

It's offensive.

But, just out of curiosity,

say you were being sued for,

oh, choking a choreographer.

What would you wear to court?

Oh, Maxwell, what an ordeal this flight was.

I can't imagine anything more terrifying.

Booga booga booga.

C.C., I do hope Chester wasn't too traumatized by his trip.

Although, he didn't seem to mind being in his little travel bag.

Ooh!

Forgot to unpack him, didn't you?

No.

Angelica,

you know that suitcase in my closet

that you said was growling

and I called you an insane old witch...

Niles. Niles, I want you to order some flowers for Miss Fine.

Make it 2 dozen, uh, sterling roses, long-stemmed.

Ooh, somebody was so very bad.

What did you do? Shall I close the door?

Yes, just make sure you're on the other side of it.

Oh, come on, sir.

The little crumbs you throw me I live on.

Well, I... I just have to make up

for something I said to Miss Fine on the airplane.

What did you say?

None of your bloody business.

Was it about me?

No.

Fine. I'll find out anyway. I always do.

Oh, Miss Fine. Please, do come in.

Oh, if you're going to smoke a cigar,

please, let me snip the end off.

In an odd way, I feel it will make me feel better.

Now, I want to ask you something that's very important,

but it's private, so give me this lemon.

Ow!

Mr. Sheffield...

Miss Fine, what are you doing over there?

Come on, come and sit on my desk, annoy me.

It'll be just like old times.

You mean, "B.T."...

before the thing?

God, Miss Fine,

how long are you going to torture me with this?

I'm not going to torture you about it.

That's why I came in here, to tell you that I'm over it.

- Oh, really? - No.

Took it back. How's it feel?

Please, Miss Fine, Cats is opening in 14 new cities.

I don't feel very strong right now.

All right, let me ask you this one question.

When you hired me,

did you think I was just attractive?

Absolutely not.

I thought you were beautiful.

Stunning. Drop-dead gorgeous.

How dare you!

Why do you keep trying to hurt me like this?

It got quiet. Are they talking about me?

Oh, I can't believe I'm back in the meat market again.

It's so sad.

I mean, the best years of my life,

and I spend 90% of them...

With a guy who kisses you passionately and takes it back.

Asks to marry you, takes it back.

Tells you he loves you,

- takes it... - I was gonna say talking with you, Val.

But thanks for the postgame wrap-up.

You know, the reason why he keeps taking it back

is because I'm nothing but a pretty plaything to him.

I mean, he doesn't take me seriously.

Can I have a double apricot sour?

Rim it with sweet 'n low.

Come on, let's go get a table

before some other yutz tries to pick me up.

Too late, ladies.

Hi. I'm Jack.

Would you mind if I bought you a drink?

Uh, do you mind? We really want to be alone.

What is it with guys?

Why do they always think just because you're at a singles bar

in a cute top, a tight skirt, and stiletto heels,

you're looking for action?

Well, why do women think that guys expect them to jump into bed

every time they try and buy them a drink?

Now, potato skins, I get you both.

I don't think so.

Uh, speak for yourself.

I haven't had a potato skin in three years.

No, seriously, you sound like a very nice woman.

And looks really don't matter to me.

Yeah, right. You're only interested in me for my mind.

Like I haven't heard that bef...

actually, I've never heard that.

I ordered a drink about 10 minutes ago. Bartender!

It's sitting right in front of you. What are you, blind?

Yes.

A sympathy pickup?

Pretending to be blind

just so that you could take home a couple of college girls?

College girls.

Forgive me. I'm very sorry.

Val, get a table. This could work.

Well, I'll drink to that.

Whoa! Watch it! Watch it!

I'd like to order a pair of the diamond earrings on page 12.

What are you doing, sir?

You know, for someone who's never bloody around

when there's no toilet paper,

you're certainly underfoot enough.

I'm just ordering something for Miss Fine.

Well, I really don't think

that will make up for what you said.

Oh, for God's sakes, all I said was...

Nice try.

Oh, come on, sir, this is cruel.

Have you no soul?

There is a mean streak in you

that is less than beguiling.

He told me what he said to you. Are you all right?

He told you?

Well, I just think that it's pretentious

to get a butler from France.

And what's gonna happen to you?

I mean, who has money for a butler these days?

Hello, hello.

Oh, here, let me get that for you, ma'am.

Ooh. What a smashing suit.

You look tired. May I draw you a foot bath?

You know what, I can't do this.

Why don't you just shoot me?

Nanny Fine, oh, I wish you could have been there. With...

the little one along, I'm more accessible.

People think I have a soft, caring side,

and then I've got them!

Oh, Fran, I never should have said

I'd do my report on her.

How can I take it back?

Oh, ask your father.

He's the expert on that category.

Oh, hi, Jack. Come on in.

Did you have any trouble finding the place?

No more than usual.

Hi, handsome boy.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

I wasn't quite sure about the suit.

It is a suit, isn't it?

Come on in.

Watch your step. Watch your step.

You know what, maybe I should stay with you.

I wouldn't want to break anything.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

You're not gonna break anything.

Oh, Franny, I'm so sorry.

Oh, that's ok.

Accidents happen.

Oh, my God.

Miss Fine, what is this mess?

Oh, excuse me. I had no idea you had a date.

I knew.

How does it feel to be out of the loop?

How do you do? I'm Maxwell Sheffield.

Hi. I'm Jack...

Well, you certainly bounced back awfully quickly.

Do you mind if we discuss this later?

Fine. What time do you think you'll be home?

Well, I think you lost the right to know that

when you took back the thing.

You're determined to drive that into the ground.

You give me such mixed messages.

Oh, what's the use? Just leave me alone!

How do you do?

I'm Niles.

Hi.

Do you know what's going on between her and this guy?

Why, what have you heard?

Oh, Jack, you know, you are so well adjusted.

I mean, you have your own law firm

and, um, you sculpt

and you skydive.

- No, no, no, no. I had to give that up. - Why?

The dog kept throwing up.

Ehh!

I'm damn glad I met you.

I mean, it's so nice to meet a guy

that appreciates you for your inner self

and not just for the way you look:

A nineties Jaclyn Smith.

Well, it really doesn't matter to me.

You could weigh a ton. I can't see you, Fran.

You know, Mr. Sheffield just thinks of me as an object.

I know. He's only attracted to you because of how you look,

and it really bugs you.

You know, I think you're just going out

with a guy who can't see

because you think you have something to prove.

Oh, that's not true.

Yes, it is.

You're so hung up on this guy.

You've mentioned his name 35 times in the last hour.

Well, it's just that me and Mr. Sheffield...

36.

You know, I really think

that you should try and convince him

that you're more than just a nineties Kate Smith.

You know, I think that you should know someone a little better

before you start pegging them with such deadly accuracy.

Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry.

I really am using you.

How can I ever make it up to you?

It's all right. Forget about it.

Come on, I'll buy you a drink.

Maybe I can even talk you into a plate of potato skins.

You know, for your information,

I am giving you such a dirty look right now.

Ho. What?

Oh, it's a bally.

Here you go, kids.

No, Fran, don't throw the ball!

Don't throw the ball!

Fran, you're taking this pretty well,

being dumped by a blind guy.

Ma, don't you see?

He has no idea what I look like.

He dumped me for who I really am.

Oh. It's Pauly the butcher.

Hi, Pauly.

Oh, is that a new apron?

It makes you look so svelte.

I put an extra breast in...

not that you need any help in that department.

Oh, you're terrible.

Ma?

Now I know why all the other kids

were bringing fluffernutters to school

while I was bringing veal medallions on wonder bread.

You know, ma, when you flirt

and use your looks like that,

men do not respect you.

What's with the women's lib all of a sudden?

When did you become Gloria Estefan?

That's Gloria Steinbrenner, ma.

There is nothing wrong

with a woman using her God-given gifts.

Well, apparently, there is,

because Mr. Sheffield thinks that he can say he loves me...

Ah! He said he loved you.

Oh, that wonderful man.

He took it back.

I'll call Yetta.

She'll put a curse on him.

Don't call Yetta, ma.

I already left a message on her machine.

So, why did he take it back?

Because. He doesn't respect me.

To him, I'm just another pretty face.

Darling, that is crap.

Ma, you don't know what you're talking about.

Just drop it.

He took it back because he's a basket case.

All right. Pick it up.

We don't have the market on guilt, you know.

Guilt over the late wife, guilt over the kids,

guilt over marrying out of his class.

Gee, ma, you know, I think you're right.

It isn't me.

It's him.

I never realized how tortured and unhappy he is.

Oh, this makes me feel so much better.

Oy. It's the cable man.

Ma...

This one's on me.

You want free Cinemax?

Oh, here you are.

Why don't you come inside?

We're about to watch Twister on the movie channel.

We don't get that.

We do now.

Listen,

I've been thinking about what happened,

and...

I understand.

You do?

You're emotionally furkhakt.

Well, that's a little harsh, Miss Fine.

I'm just a little furdrih.

Mm, maybe furmisht.

All I'm saying is that

you are afraid of your feelings,

so you just relate to me superficially.

I mean, we flirt, we play games.

I prance around in short skirts,

you let me get away with anything.

What?

You get into more trouble than the children, Miss Fine.

I punished you just last week.

Oh, yeah.

That was when you made me take those shoes back

that I said I bought for Maggie.

Right.

Just like those, only a different color.

Uh... Yeah.

You know, Miss Fine, you're right.

I am afraid.

That's why I took it back.

I know.

I've only really been in love once in my life before, and,

when my wife died...

Well, I'm just afraid

of going through all that pain again.

And what if it didn't work out between us?

And what about the children?

Well, it would be hard at first,

but we'd let you come visit us on weekends.

Oh, Miss Fine, what if something happened between us?

It could ruin everything we have.

Or it could add a whole other dimension

that wouldn't be entirely unpleasant.

Or it could ruin it.

It's happened before.

So, we agree then?

Friends.

Friends.

- Friends. - Friends.

So why did he take it back?

Because he doesn't respect me.

He, uh...

We don't have the...

And I just popped another piece of cake in my mouth.

What's wrong with me?

Oy. It's the cable man.

Ma...

This one's on me.

You want some free Cinemax?

Who are these people?

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