Original subtitles

I run this town.

Is that what you said to Stan King

before you rolled his car in a ditch?

Sounds like this guy Dawson needs to be taught a good lesson.

We could start by running our own candidate for Sheriff.

A lot of elections have been won and lost on the first impressions.

I mean, it used to be trains. Now it's planes.

I hate brass bands.

♪♪

I told you, when I left the Pentagon, I didn't want any publicity.

Remember, Joe Morgan's the guy that you can't buy.

I got something happening on the A-Team, sir. Where?

Across the country.

What happens if I win this election?

There isn't gonna be one.

I'm running for Sheriff.

Every time you turn around he's shaking hands with somebody

and every one of 'em's a vote.

You ain't getting any votes here, Jack, so why don't you shove off.

You boys have been suckered by the oldest trick in the hat.

Mr. Morgan has done his last bit of damage in this town.

The A-team is proud.

Ten years ago, a crack commando unit

was sent to prison by a military court

for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government,

they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help,

and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

♪♪

Come on, Sheriff, that was a scratch, plain as day.

Hold your water, Ollie. I'm just practicing.

There ain't nothing in the rules about practice shots.

My rules are different than yours, Ollie.

Ain't that right, boys?

Nine ball, corner pocket.

We got him out back in the squad car.

Well, hiya, Jimmy.

How's the newspaper business?

Why don't you step out so we can have a little talk?

Is that what you said to Stan King

before you rolled his car in a ditch?

See, that's the kind of thing that gets you in trouble.

You ain't got any right writing those lies about me in the newspaper.

I'm running for a big election here.

People read that stuff, they get jumpy.

I'm going to win, anyway.

Get him out of there.

Baker, I run this town.

If you forget that,

remember Stan King.

What's keeping 'em?

They'll be here, I promise.

I told them everything and they wanna help.

They just have a weird schedule.

Sorry, folks, I'm gonna have to ask you to drink up. We're closing.

Excuse me.

Hannibal, you must be slipping.

I could tell it was you a mile away.

The nose is awful, but the hair,

where did you get it? Mail order?

You got a problem, miss?

I mean, really, the thing looks like it's ready to start purring.

Lady...

I'm sorry.

All closed up.

You just got new hours, sucker! Now get out of the way.

Would anyone like some coffee?

Oh, that would be nice.

How would you like it?

In a cup, fool.

Why would a guy wear a wig like that?

Looks like a dead plant. Yeah.

You're late. Where is Hannibal?

Ah, Hannibal had to do some close-ups

on the Gila Monster Who Ate France.

Big-budget film.

Mr. Baker's waiting. Ah.

Mr. Baker? Sorry we're late.

It's all right.

Looks like Sheriff Dawson got a little tired of you pushing him around.

Yeah.

You'd think a guy who's Sheriff for 20 years would be more subtle.

He doesn't have to be.

He just flashes his badge and throws his weight around.

Anybody doesn't like it, they wind up in jail

on some trumped-up charge or they get beat on.

Why don't you vote him out?

If anyone sounds like they're gonna run for candidate,

he buys them out or shuts them up some way.

The last was Stan King.

He wound up in a ditch outside of town

the day after he announced he was running.

Sounds like this guy Dawson needs to be taught a good lesson.

Don't underestimate him. He's smart.

Never leaves anything laying around for you to pin on him later.

Otherwise, I'd have taken this to the attorney general before now.

Well, if we're gonna draw this guy out,

we, uh, need to know his weak spots.

What else does he have going?

Oh, plenty.

Guns, money, whiskey, you name it.

Money? Like what?

Like a little casino he allows to prosper a few miles outside of town.

It's at a place called Danny's Satellite Lounge.

He takes a piece of the action and nobody bothers anything.

And what about the whiskey?

Side business. Smuggles the stuff.

Nobody pays any tax, he's got a built-in market.

The next shipment's coming in three days, running right up Highway 49.

Yeah, and you can be sure there aren't gonna be any cops there

unless they're thirsty.

Thanks.

So what can we possibly come up with to drill a guy like Dawson?

Well, we could, uh, start by running our own candidate for Sheriff.

I think Hannibal would love a plan like that.

I don't know. That's like asking for trouble.

Running somebody against Dawson like that. He's a killer.

Yeah, you're right. That's a problem.

Where are we gonna find somebody dumb enough

to go to that town and be a candidate for Sheriff?

Hmm.

I mean, nobody's that stupid.

Not a bad picture for a campaign poster.

Amy, what do we have to work with?

We have got the perfect cover.

His name is Joe Morgan.

I checked with county records.

He left town about 20 years ago to join the army.

And he hasn't been back since.

Hey, this guy got a battlefield commission in Nam.

Hannibal, sometimes I think you're crazier than Murdock.

How in the world are you gonna pass Face off as a war hero

in this guy's hometown?

B. A., you got to have faith.

It's been 20 years. People change, people forget.

Amy, when you write this up, you got to lay it on pretty thick

about the returning hero.

And wire to Baker as soon as you can.

When we get to town, everybody's got to know who Joe Morgan is.

B. A., you might as well start it up now.

It'll go like clockwork.

You know, when Face turns on the charm, he can do anything.

Let's get out of here.

I'm telling you, these sudden departures

are starting to drive me crazy.

Shut up, Murdock. You're already crazy.

Oh, yeah?

At least there's somebody glad to see me.

And I still have my harmonica.

Hannibal, he's starting it again.

He's trying to make me mad.

You know he ain't got no harmonica there. There's nothing but hot air.

Murdock, better put it away.

You know B. A. doesn't like music while he's driving.

Now listen up. We got a lot of stuff to do

before we put Amy and Face on that plane tomorrow.

Me? I thought I was going up with you guys in the van.

How do you think Joe Morgan's homecoming would look

without his new bride?

Amy, you got married. That's wonderful.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now just wait a minute here, Hannibal.

Nobody said anything about a wife.

I don't know, Face, I think I'd make a pretty good First Lady.

I'm poised. I'm ambitious.

Face, try and look sharp, huh?

I always look sharp.

We'll be there with TV cameras

to make a big deal of the whole thing.

Sheriff Dawson will give you the key to the city.

There'll be a crowd waving little flags and cheering you, Face.

Sounds like I'll be riding into a range war looking like a greeting card.

A lot of elections have been won and lost on the first impressions.

William McKinley took a losing campaign,

turned it into victory by whistle-stopping across the country.

Worked great for him, too. He was assassinated.

Hannibal, one question here.

What happens if I win this election?

You know, I can't be a sheriff.

Considering a fact there's a price on my head,

if I take a gig as a public servant

that's not exactly what I'd consider a job with a future.

Picky, picky.

The Sheriff will never let it go that far if I read him right.

He'll have you killed off long before anybody gets to the polls.

And that's where we come in for real.

We'll get the whole thing on videotape.

The whole thing?

Oh, I'm touched.

Uh, the attempt.

I mean, don't worry. You'll be fine.

We'll be right there to pull his plug.

As long as, uh, everything goes according to plan.

Sounds like money in the bank to me.

Okay, Billy, put a camera down right here.

Excuse me a minute, fella.

Not now, pal.

No, if you want an autograph, I'll talk to you later.

No, no, put the camera over the chalk mark, will you, Brad?

Camera stays.

I'm, uh, Jake Dawson, Sheriff of this county.

Oh! You're the guy that's gonna give the key to the city.

Yeah. We'll make that presentation over by the steps.

Hey, Brad, the deputy's gonna make a presentation

at the bottom of the steps...

Sheriff! I'm a sheriff!

Oh, right. What's your name again?

Never mind, I'll get you to sign the release paper later.

Stand right over here.

Just step right on over here. That's it.

Now. Hold the flag up, hold the key up.

That's fine. Now we get ready. Good, good.

Is he gonna wear that hat?

I ain't got no lights, Herb, jeez.

Yeah, okay.

Excuse me, Sheriff, I got to get a little light in your eyes there.

That's fine. Yeah. That's great! Now.

Nice talking to you, Herb.

All right. Roll it.

Now give us a big smile. That's great.

I'm in love with it.

Okay.

Grand. Thank you very much, Sheriff.

You just stand right over here.

♪♪

Got that one?

Little girl with flowers. Girl with flowers.

Come on, darling. That's it. That's it.

That's it, sweetheart.

Well, uh, Joe, how come you didn't wear your Silver Star?

Silver Star?

Well, sure. You know, the one you were awarded in Vietnam.

Uh, Mr. Kyle, could we not do this?

I told you, when I left the Pentagon, I didn't want any publicity.

My wife and I would just like to go home quietly.

Yes, but the Sheriff is here to present you with the key to the city.

You ready, Brad?

Whenever you are, B.C. I mean, C.B.

Try and keep it fresh now.

Give us a big smile. Step right in here, Sheriff.

That's it, that's it. Keep that key up.

Okay. You ready, Brad?

Ready, ready. Camera's ready.

Okay, roll, roll.

All right. Yeah!

The fact that Joe Morgan has chosen to settle here

is a great testament to the way of life I've tried to maintain

for the citizens of Parkland.

So on behalf of myself and the whole town,

I'd like to present you with the key to the city.

Yeah! Joe!

Please, please.

That's very nice, Sheriff, and I appreciate it and all that,

but I'm sorry. I just can't accept this.

You weren't here to offer me the key to the city

when I went away to war,

and I, uh, think it'd be a little dishonest

to accept it now that I'm back.

Thanks, anyway.

Come on, honey, let's catch a cab.

Zoom in on the Sheriff, Murdock.

It doesn't bother you none this guy comes to town with a pretty wife

and I roll up with this key so he can turn it down,

make me look like a jerk.

Maybe he's an opinionated fella.

I've been around too long not to know when I'm being blindsided.

He couldn't have planned it better.

He wants something.

Rance,

I want you to find out if there's anything stinking up his files.

I mean anything.

Nobody gets away with treating me like dirt.

Nobody.

That man seems upset.

Back at the VA, he'd be first in line for the ice cube room.

That man's too unstable for politics,

and believe me, I know whereof I speak, Jack.

Yeah, when Face turned down that key to the city,

it sure got his motor running.

When he sees our little campaign get going,

that Sheriff's gonna be out of wind

just trying to get out of his own way.

♪♪

Don't you just love it, B. A.?

The excitement of the electoral process.

The sense of history.

The quest for the truth.

The amp with a million watts per channel

just pumping the old red, white, and blue.

I hate brass bands.

Friends, Romans, and country persons,

listen up out there, dudes and dudettes...

I should've left you back there in the state hospital

with the rest of those mixed nuts.

Come on down to Veteran's Park today and meet Joe Morgan.

While you're there, pick up your free pen, compliments of Joe Morgan.

And use that free pen to write in Joe Morgan's name

on Election Day.

And then sell that pretty pen, sell that little critter

for big money

and cruise to scenic Alaska: home of the famous husky.

Oh, you know, when I was in high school,

I ran for president of the student council.

But I lost on a technicality, though.

They weren't having an election at the time.

Remember, Joe Morgan's the guy that you can't buy.

Sheriff Dawson, who's sly, can always try, but it won't fly!

That's it, sucker. I've heard enough.

Hey, give me back that mike, B. A.!

Give me that thing.

Meany!

Here you go, brother, vote for Joe Morgan.

New Sheriff.

Here you go, my man, vote for Joe Morgan.

He's running for Sheriff. All right.

Joe Morgan for Sheriff. Joe Morgan for Sheriff, here.

All right.

Joe Morgan for Sheriff, here.

Posters!

This guy

is way too organized for somebody that just came into town.

Well, go on, continue.

Um, well, he was, uh,

born at Parkland General Hospital.

Graduated from Parkland High

and he turned down a scholarship at State U so he could join the army.

Battlefield commission, Silver Star, discharged in '69.

Both his mother and father died about 10 years ago

and are buried in Parkland Cemetery.

Give me the rest.

Well, that's it. There isn't any more.

What happened to him after he got out of the army?

Well, the discharge is the last thing in his file.

I... I ran a check through the VA and the FBI and they both came up zero.

He never even filed a federal tax return.

This guy's the invisible m-m-man.

Then how come I keep seeing him everywhere?

His name is plastered all over town for the past three days.

Every time you turn around,

he's shaking hands with somebody

and every one of em's a vote.

This dirt bag's gunning for me.

And you can't even prove he existed

from the time he left the army until yesterday.

You find out what Morgan's game is, and I don't care how.

Now get out of here.

Mister,

I sure wish I knew what little trick you were gonna try next.

Hey, everybody, listen up.

This man's got something to say.

Hi there. I'm, uh, I'm Joe Morgan.

Dawson, you better get your tail over here.

America's conscience just showed up.

Yeah.

Now you, uh, boys may not know me, but, uh,

I'm running for Sheriff. That's right.

And, uh, well, I just wanted y'all to know

that what you're doing here is illegal.

You ain't getting any votes here, Jack, so why don't you shove off.

Uh...

The name's Joe.

Now I think, you know, in the long run, that, uh, you're going to thank me.

That's right.

Hold on a minute. Hold on, now.

Running a casino's one thing.

But when that casino's rigged so nobody wins,

what then?

Yeah, you boys have been suckered by the oldest trick in the hat.

Now I'm not saying that, uh, Sheriff Dawson knew anything about this.

But, uh, he sure shoulda.

We've been cheated!

That's right. What are we gonna do about it?

You ain't gonna do a thing.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Ball four, take your base.

B. A., give me that axe handle.

Mr. Morgan, could we have one more just for the paper?

Yeah, sure. The old take two, huh?

That's it. Hold it.

It's great to see a natural at work.

Nice to see you, Sheriff.

Dawson, what am I paying you protection money for if this kind of thing happens?

Look at it.

This place is completely trashed.

Put a towel on it, Danny.

I can promise you one thing.

Our hero, Mr. Morgan,

has done his last bit of damage in this town.

What is it, Captain? I'm real busy.

I got something happening on the A-Team, sir.

Where?

Parkland, New Mexico.

Picture in a local daily shows a man

who looks just like Templeton Peck.

He'd never let his picture be taken.

Who's he claiming to be?

Name under the photo says Joe Morgan.

And here's a twist.

Morgan is running for Sheriff.

Sheriff.

Stupid. Real stupid.

I've got a car waiting right now

to take us to the airport, Colonel.

Get an advance group ready to meet us in New Mexico

so we can squadron right to Parkland.

Oh, it's done, sir.

Rance.

Wait till you read this.

I knew there was something about this guy that didn't belong in church.

Get the squad car. We'll drive over back of his hotel.

You want some backup?

We're not gonna need any backup. All we're going to need

is a shotgun.

I want that director fella who's working for Morgan, alive.

He's got me looking like half a tank in that movie he's making.

I want that film back before we finish him.

And if he won't play ball?

Just get him down in the squad car.

He will play ball.

Make it quick, and don't call attention to yourself.

So long, Joe Morgan.

Hi, Sheriff.

I'd have called, but I didn't have your number. Drive.

Now!

I saw your dumb brother going in there.

I don't suppose you know what's happening, would you?

No. You plan on using that?

No. Killing's your game, Dawson.

Tell me how do you live with yourself,

leaving good people in ditches?

I don't know about anybody in ditches.

Something's eating on your brain, mister.

Yeah? How about we check yours out?

Huh? A little memory quiz?

Stan King. Jim Baker. Ring any bells?

I'd think you were feeling guilty, but I know better.

Where am I supposed to be going?

With any luck, prison.

Turn right here, go down the block.

What do you want, mister?

I mean, what do you really want?

I want you out of town permanently.

Leave it to Morgan, huh? Let's talk about him.

I may just be a county sheriff, but I ran a make on Morgan.

And, uh, guess what?

Now you look scared.

Oh, yeah?

All it means is I have to work fast.

And I always work fast.

Okay, this is it, Sheriff. Get out.

Hey, guys, I brought some burgers.

I got some chow, and a big hamburger.

Very funny. You boys are real trouble.

I don't think you count so good.

No, it's the Sheriff that's been making trouble.

He ran a make on our friend Joe Morgan,

and then he put Joe's picture on the wire

to everybody he could think of.

Yeah, it wasn't even my good side.

Now, we're gonna have to tell our friend, Col. Decker,

who's under the misguided impression that we're the bad guys,

all about your dirty little operations.

So he'll arrest you.

When he hears about dirty little operations

he goes animal, baby. Animal.

It won't wash.

That teletype said that you were a military prisoner.

And I'm the Sheriff.

Besides you don't have any real proof.

Don't worry. We will.

Like that truck going up Route 49, full of bootleg whiskey?

Now that's where you're gonna help us out.

Just out of curiosity, what time is that gonna take place?

What time exactly?

That's it.

We're getting closer, B. A.

You're boxed in, boys.

Yeah, well, then we'll take the lid off. Step on it, B. A.

Come on, let's make them eat their own taillights.

Let's go, B. A. Let's get around this guy.

I can't. This guy's keeping us boxed in.

They're still comin'.

They sure are.

All right, you stay right where you are!

Far away from the sheriff.

Come on, let's get those reinforcements going.

Empty, Hannibal. Me, too.

Okay! Okay, guys.

I got to give you credit, Dawson.

It was a real nice setup.

You boys joke all you want.

I got you for kidnapping, stealing a squad car, hijacking a truck.

Serious offenses, very serious.

Yeah?

Well, murder scores pretty high.

I mean, if you want to compare notes.

I don't appreciate that kind of accusation.

Tell us what kind you'd like.

Maybe we can come up with something.

Don't just stand there, pick up their guns.

Your buddy, the Colonel, is gonna be a happy man.

As a matter of fact, I think I'm gonna make it easy for him.

Yeah? What about the election?

There isn't gonna be one.

'Cause there won't be any candidate around,

any living candidate,

to oppose me.

Let's get this over with.

You're about the last person I expected to come waltzing in here.

What've you done with my friends?

They've been missing all day.

They're with the sheriff.

Well, you just saved me a lot of bother

coming to round you up myself. I appreciate it.

Not half as much as I do. Don't move.

Well, well. You never know who you'll be glad to see, do you?

Do you know the kind of trouble you can buy,

just charging into a sheriff's office and messing up...

Save it! Put that gun away, Deputy.

What do you fellas want?

A group of escaped military prisoners.

Call themselves the A-Team.

You think they're here?

Come on, Colonel, you can't be serious.

You're getting paranoid, do you know that?

We know they're here.

And we know you're involved with them.

So don't play games with me, lady.

Colonel, you want to make a really big bust,

let me clue you in on it.

I came to this town

to write about the election they're having for Sheriff

and I discovered the incumbent is running a dirty campaign.

Why don't you check that out?

That's not why I'm here.

You tell me where those people are, I want to know now.

Dawson's got 'em. Where?

In a truck repair garage

not far from Danny's Satellite Lounge.

Just a few miles from here.

We've got 'em inside.

We caught them when they tried to

pull a truck hijacking out in the highway.

And they're all being held there?

Yeah.

Good. You're gonna take us out there.

I'm going out to that truck garage, Miss Allen.

And I'm taking you along.

Terrific. Shall we?

Are you guys for real?

You think you're gonna get away with this?

Free and clear, hero. You're forgetting

I'm still Sheriff of this county.

Oh, I don't know. Like they say:

The opera isn't over till the fat lady sings.

Or the people vote.

Bring them to the office.

Boys, enjoy the decor.

'Cause as soon as Rance gets back here with Mrs. Morgan,

you

are gonna get a whole new understanding

of the will of the people.

Gee, if I'd known you were gonna bring us someplace nice like this,

I would've, uh, dressed for the occasion.

Very funny.

Let's go over to Danny's and, uh, get a beer.

Donald, you stand guard.

Face, watch the door.

Right.

All right, he's six feet away.

Give me a hand and move that desk over here.

Hold it, hold it, hold it! Here he comes.

What time's lunch?

All right.

There, right there.

B. A., if you look at things the right way, anything can be on your side.

In this case, we look up.

Murdock, there's a little crawl space up there,

see if you can get in it.

I will endeavor to render myself as tiny as possible.

That'll be easy, fool. Just think about your brain.

I need a chair.

I'm getting up.

♪ Ceilings, nothing more than ceilings ♪

♪ I'm heading into ceilings ♪

♪ Above the floor ♪♪

Shut up, fool, or I'll come up there after you.

Boy, it's d-d-d-dark up here.

Your problem is your vents.

It's gonna run you heavy change, buddy.

But don't take it personally.

You have your good days, you have your bad days.

Just like the President.

Face, give Murdock a hand and pull that deputy into the office.

What are we gonna do, Hannibal?

That deputy's coming here with Amy.

Well, B. A.,

it's amazing

what a few motivated men can do in a very short time

with a few simple tools and a lot of ingenuity.

There it is.

Come on, Sheriff.

Rance radioed and said the MPs are on their way.

Hello.

Will you let me handle this?

Any objections?

Fine.

There's going to be five crisp $100 bills for each of you.

All right.

Let's go.

Get him!

Attention.

You lose the election, Sheriff.

And you don't get a recount.

Hey, guys, let's lock 'em in the truck.

Let's move!

Breaks your heart, right?

A million pieces.

More of 'em?

It's not that big a town.

Hannibal, you think maybe...

Yeah, I do.

Decker?

Yeah. But he won't know we got the upper hand.

Which means, we do. Let's go.

Stay out of sight.

Looks like some bad trouble.

Your A-Team may not even be alive for me to take away.

Simple military strategy, Colonel.

It's called a pincer movement. It beat the Romans and it beat you.

Put your hands on top of your heads.

You got them, Face?

Is that Miss Allen with you? I thought she had dark hair.

Why don't you quit playing games, Smith?

He doesn't play games, Colonel.

He just wins them.

I'm sorry, Miss Allen, but due to security problems,

we're gonna have to incarcerate you

with Col. Decker and his drones.

I wish we could find more amusing company.

Well, maybe you ought to give her some kind of a quote, Hannibal.

You know, something personal.

Miss Allen, you may tell your readers that the A-Team,

having locked the crooked deputies and sheriff in a truck,

held off the MPs under the command of the rabid Col. Decker

and departed.

Col. Smith was heard to observe, quote,

"The A-Team is proud to help diminish the rampant violence

so prevalent in society today."

Face, I'd say you ran a fast and effective campaign.

I'm just glad to be a single woman again.

You're a good politician, Face, but a crummy husband.

Listen, uh, I don't want to toot my own horn or anything,

but how much did I actually win by?

Uh...

How much did I beat him by?

Uh, Murdock,

you've got the paper, uh, what's it say?

Come on, now. What are you guys trying to hide here?

I mean, it's not like I lost.

I lost? Oh, come on,

I-I couldn't have lost.

Um, Sheriff Dawson, 465.

Joe Morgan, 460.

But, uh, since Dawson was arrested and you were the only other one to run,

they decided to give it to you anyway.

I don't believe it.

Those were my supporters back there.

My people.

Politics.

I tell you, this election business, it's really got me thinking.

Nothing gets you thinking, fool,

except somebody else talking for you.

No, no, no, no, B. A.

I'm serious, I'm serious. I really could get into this running for office.

And I'm talking about the big round one, you know?

Murdock for Prez.

Sounds pretty catchy, if you ask me.

I've already got a campaign promise.

Two vanilla snookies on every plate

and two crates of vanilla snookies in every garage.

And I'd...

I'd go on radio every week just like the old FDR,

only, I'd play the harmonica.

Somebody hold me down.

This fool is fixing to play his fingers and I'm gonna snap them off.

One big happy family.

♪♪