Original subtitles

( eerie music playing )

Tonight's stars

Leslie Nielsen,,,

Fritz Weaver,,,

Francis Lederer,,,

and Helmut Dantine,

Good evening,

and welcome to the

Night Gallery,

Now, if you'll just follow me,

Time again for

your weekly excursion

into the cultural--

painting, statuaries,

still lifes, collages,

Some abstracts,

and some items in ice,

That's not the technique

that hopefully

is what we turn

your blood into,

A good way

to begin the attempt,

painting number one,

About a man who spends a night

in a haunted house,

An unbeliever, if you will,

who by dawn believes,

The name of the painting is

"A Question of Fear,"

The name of this place

is the Night Gallery,

I knew there were

no such things

as ghosts and evil spirits,

I made up my mind

I would spend

the night in that house,

and put an end

once and for all

to all the stupid legends,

Against the advice

of my friends, I went there

just after sunset,

I have never been afraid

of anything in my life,

And, I give you my word

I was not afraid

of that house,

They found me

wandering on the road,

sometime after midnight,

When I went in there,

my hair was jet black,

It was this color

when I came out,

And for three years afterwards,

I was confined

for treatment,

What happened

in the haunted house?

I don't know,

Mercifully, I have no memory

of the events of that night,

Interesting color,

White,

I've often wondered why

they call cowards yellow

when it's a white flag,

they use to surrender,

Does that mean,

Colonel Malloy,

that you think

I'm a coward?

Danny, come on,

No such thing as ghosts

or evil spirits,

The world is

divided between

those with courage,

and without,

Ghosts are an invention,,,

of the latter,

Danny, Dr, Mazi

is my guest,

Only makes me sick,

Fear is a disease,

And it's men

like you, Mazi,

with your tales of

spectral goblins

help spread it,

I've shot men

in half a dozen wars

for cowardice,

Men with your disease,

who are endangering

the rest of us,

Put it right there, will you?

Thank you,

No,

I have no patience

with your fear,

My apologies, Dr, Mazi,

Shall we go?

Thank you, gentlemen,

But, I would like to stay,

You believe, then,

Colonel Malloy,

that you are without fear,

When I was eighteen,

I was a volunteer

in the Spanish civil war,

I killed my first man

in a hand-to-hand combat,

Since then, I've been

with the armies of

Britain, United States,

French foreign legion,

More recently,

a mercenary in Africa,

I have seen

and done things

that were

a less of a man,

I too would have

white hair,

No, I am careful,

But I am incapable of fear,

Are you a betting man,

Colonel Malloy?

That depends,

Would you bet

on you courage?

That's how

I make my living,

I still own that house,

It's been boarded up

ever since that night,

I would wager you

$10,000

that you will not be able

to spend one whole night

alone in that house

without being

frightened to death,

( laughs )

You must be joking,

On the contrary,

I'm calling your bluff,

All right,

you're covered,

You'll hold the stakes,

gentlemen?

With pleasure,

I've got five more

with Mazi,

Gentlemen, I shall be

delighted to take

your money,

You understand

the terms of the bet,

All you have to do is

spend one whole night

in that house alone

without being

frightened to death,

For $15,000, I would survive

a night in hell,

( laughs )

( wind whistling )

( bat squeaking )

Well, it looks like

the genuine article,

If you survive,

we settle our bet

at noon tomorrow

at the club,

You'll need the key,

I'll buy you a lunch,

It's my treat,

Goodbye, Colonel Malloy,

( laughs )

( door creaking )

( devilish laugh )

( groaning )

( continues )

( continues )

( floorboards creak )

( groaning )

( continues )

( groaning continues )

( groaning continues )

( heavy breathing )

( devilish laughter )

( laughter continues )

( rat squeaking )

( devilish laughter )

( thunder )

( thunder )

( pained laughter )

( devilish laugh )

( low moaning )

( continues )

( moaning, crying continues )

( continues )

( grunting )

( moaning )

( continues )

( door creaking )

( rats squeaking )

( floorboards creaking )

( door creaking, slams shut)

( steps creaking )

( bats squeaking )

( devilish laughter )

( laughter continues )

( laughter continues )

( continues )

( gasping heavily )

( devilish laughter )

( breathing heavily )

( devilish laughter )

( continues )

( breathing heavily )

( devilish laugh )

( continues )

( bricks clattering )

( screaming )

( continues )

( continues )

( pistol dry-clicking )

( uneven breathing )

( shaky breathing continues )

( devilish laughter echoing )

( continues )

( continues )

( laughter continues )

( continues )

( discordant piano notes play )

( discordant notes continue )

( piano continues )

( continues )

( continues )

( continues )

( continues )

( laughs )

Mazi,

( laughs )

I don't know how much

all this junk cost ya

But you can add another

ten grand to it,

And Al and Fred,

if you're listening,

you've just--

You just lost your five,

( laughs )

That is unless you

intend murdering me,

Which of course I doubt,

since it's not termed--

Part of the terms

of our bet,

So, boys,

( laughs )

That's the ball game,

( laughs )

Now,

If you'll excuse me,

I think I'll retire

for the night,

( laughs )

( laughing )

( whistling )

( continues )

( continues )

How about that,

no cobwebs,

Looks very inviting, Mazi,

Maybe too much so, huh?

( laughs )

( sighs )

( sighs )

Good night, all,

Wake me when it's over,

( fabric ripping )

Mazi,

Mazi!

Mazi!

The is you were gonna

scare me to death,

you can't do that

if you kill me,

Right Mazi?

You know, for a moment,

just for a moment,

I thought

this was serious,

But you know

what I think, Mazi?

I think you just

want to see me afraid,

You want to reduce me

to your level, right Mazi?

Well, I'm sorry pal,

That's one fraternity

I refuse to join,

Sorry, pal,

Danny Malloy signing off,

One hundred,,,

ninety nine,,,

ninety eight,,,

ninety seven,,,

ninety six,,,

( alarm ringing )

( alarm stops )

( whistling )

( laughing )

( chuckles )

Ahh,

Good morning, Mr, Malloy,

Now we can see each other,

There's a television camera

sending your image to me,

Listen, Mazi,

What's all this about?

It's a bet, We made a bet,

Oh, no, it's much more

than that,

A man doesn't go to this

elaborate setup here

just to win a bet,

You're right,

But, you're eggs

will be overcooked,

I can start and stop

the burner electronically,

but, not the actual

cooking process,

Why don't you have

breakfast, and we'll talk,

That's what I say,

Why not?

And don't worry

about drugs,

the food is harmless,

I wasn't worried

about it,

As you weren't

worried about

the coffee thermos

last night?

That's right,

Drugged, Mr, Malloy,

You left your bag

unguarded

just after you entered

the house, you remember?

It was while you

explored the dining room,

But, eat, eat, eat,

Haven't I told you?

Haven't I reassured you?

The food is harmless,

as indeed it is,

I want you fully awake

when your fate

overtakes you,

The drug, I spoke about,,,

the one I put

in your coffee,

you experienced

slight dizziness?

Yes, of course,

Ooh, nothing heavy,

be assured,

Just a little something

to ensure that

when you slept,

it would be deeply,

You really are

quite brave aren't you?

For that, I admire you,

But every man has his

breaking point,

Colonel Malloy,

and you have yours,

To be absolutely

honest with you,

I never really

doubted your

resource and

your courage,

That will cost you

ten grand,

Oh, we're not

finished yet,

Yes, I've learned a great deal

about you, Colonel Malloy,

How brave you are,

How you broke through

the Italian line at Sidi Barani

and led the attack

on Tobruk,

I believe at that time

you were serving

in the British Army,

America was too slow

getting into that one,

Ah, commendable patriotism,

You remember

a small command post

you captured

along the way?

Oh, I captured

a lot of command posts,

Yes, to be sure,

But this one had

a special significance,

Perhaps I can help you

to try to remember,

Well, it's your

TV program,

Thank you,

My father

was a junior officer

in the army of Mussolini,

He had been left behind

to destroy some papers,

which were potentially

useful to the British,

Your advanced column

cut off his retreat,

He surrendered at once,

( breath )

Somehow, you got it

into your head

that he could tell you

when the

German invasion

of Libya would

take place,

( pained groan )

He was not a

brave man, my father,

He told you with

tears in his eyes

that he was only

a concert pianist

in uniform

who wanted nothing more

than for the war to end,

so he could get back

to his piano

and to his music,

( screaming )

You remember?

Well, that was

a long time ago, I believe,

There's a war on--

men were dying everywhere,

Ah, you do

remember, Good,

I want you to

remember every detail,

( breath )

You took a

can of gasoline

from your jeep,

and while your men

held him down,

you poured the gasoline

over his hands,

And then, when he failed

to provide you

with the information

that was

never his to give,

you set fire

to his hands,

See it,

Colonel Malloy hero!

Even your men

didn't expect you

to carry out

your threat,

But since they were

accomplices to the deed,

their lips were sealed,

Thanks to you,

those hands that had

given pleasure

to millions of people

were reduced

in a matter of moments

to blackened stumps,

Needless to say, my father

never played again,

My best friend was killed

in a land-mine

the day before,

Ah, yes, to be sure,

many men perished,

My father often

spoke of you,

And just before he died,

I swore to him

I would find you,

and I would break you

just as you broke him,

The bet's off, Mazi,

I'm leaving,

And if anyone tries to

stop me, I'll kill 'em,

Nobody will try

to stop you,

But I think

you will be interested

in the rest of

what I have to tell you,

Go ahead,

I have lived

in your country

for a number of year now,

I changed my name,

and I began to

hunt you down,

I trailed you incessantly,

awaiting my chance,

Well, you had

your chance last night,

and you blew it,

Before

congratulating yourself

on surviving the terrors

which I so pain

painstakingly

engineered for you,

I think you should know

the worst shock

is yet to come,

Which is?

Although mechanics

and electronics

are amusing hobbies,

I am by profession

a biochemist,

I have been the employ

of the United States

government

in the field of

biological and

chemical warfare,

I am, as they say,

highly respected

in my field,

- Good for you,

- Thank you,

Recently,

my colleague and I

discovered a way

of converting

a complex enzyme molecule

in the human body,

until its structure

is identical

with that of an annelid,

Better known to you

as an earthworm,

That's terrific,

I'm delighted for you,

The result is

quite extraordinary,

The bones of the body

disintegrate

without affecting

the nervous system

or the vital organs

until the victim is

as near as can be

an earthworm,

Able to move

on its belly,

but without vertebrae,

Unable to stand,

Able to feed, able to

pass waste matter,

but unable to use

its arms and legs,

Except to assist

in a slithering motion

in the manner

of an earthworm,

You're out

of your mind, man,

That's impossible,

Really?

Then, I suggest

you pay another visit

to the cellar,

There you will see

now my colleague,

He's quite harmless,

only rather repulsive,

You see, his body,

being a stout man,

tended to metamorphose

into that of giant slug,

Definitely not for the

squeamish, I would say,

All right,

why are you

telling me this?

If you will roll up

your left sleeve

and examine

the inside of your arm,

just below your elbow,

you will perceive

a small puncture mark,

While you were asleep,

sleeping of the effects

of the drugged coffee,

I entered your bedroom,

and injected you

with the same serum

I gave to my colleague,

The two of you

should really go down

in medical history,

Although I rather suspect

the authorities

will try to hush it up,

Bit too gruesome

to unleash on

the unsuspecting public,

if you see what I mean,

Of course,

the transition

doesn't happen overnight,

My colleague was missing

for six months before

they finally dropped

the search for him,

So, you see, you'll have

ample time

to go to the club

and collect

your winnings,

Tell the police

if you like,

I don't care,

My job is done,

Although I have planned

a watertight

escape route,

No,

That's not the truth,

You're bluffing,

Am I?

The process should begin

in very few days,

Go and see a specialist,

I should like to

see his face,

when you try to

explain to him

what is wrong with you,

He won't believe

a word of it, of course,

But even if he did,

he would be

powerless to help you,

You see, we never

really found a way

of reversing

the process,

I don't think

one exists,

Do you feel a stiffness

in the joints, elbows,

knees, shoulders?

It's lies!

You're lying!

There is no such serum,

There's a very easy way

to find out,

Just go down

to the cellar

and have a look

at my colleague,

He won't mind,

He's past caring

about anything,

Ah, three you are,

Brave as ever,

You will be a

very brave worm,

Why are you stopping?

Your fate is there

in the cellar,

Go and look

at what you will be,

Well, why are

you stopping?

Go, I command you,

You still lose, Mazi,

( gunshot )

No, Mr, Malloy,

You lose,

There is nothing

in the cellar,

Oscar Wilde said something

to the effect that

if there were not devil,

we'd very likely

invent him,

He serves

many a purpose,

And this grim-visaged

character here

is proof of that

rather bitter pudding

in a story that

tells what happens

when evil

collides with evil,

The painting is called

"The Devil is

Not Mocked,"

You've asked

your grandfather

what he did

in the Great War,

Now, listen

attentively, child,

and I will tell you,

For, while many are

terrible charges

made against

our ancestors,

let no man

deny our patriotism,

( bomb blasts )

( bombs continue )

( blasts continue )

( howling )

( bomb blast )

( man speaking German )

( howling )

( men speaking German )

( machine gunner laughing )

Sector to the west

is cleared of

partisans, Herr General,

They have shown

their true color,

Serbs, Croatians, Slavs,

stupid peasants

putting on an act

for their womenfolk,

The castle

will be surrounded

at any moment,

Good, Dietrich, proceed,

( speaking German )

Achtung, achtung!

This is General

Von Grunn,

Commander-in-chief

SS Balkan forces,

Your headquarters are

completely surrounded,

Resistance is, of course,

futile, and

utterly suicidal,

You will open the gates,

and file out

one at a time,

weapons raised

over your heads,

( howling )

We will count to five,

Eins, zwei,

drei, vier,,,

( door unlatches,

creaks open )

Gentleman, welcome,

What do you mean

welcome?

You're my guest,

You're headquarters

for a secret

partisan organization,

We've come

to burn you out,

Don't you welcome me,

Kranz, move in,

This way,

Dietrich,

General, I assure you--

( machine gun fire )

You must forgive us for

interrupting your supper,

It is your supper, General,

We have anticipated

your visit,

Herr General,

There are only

these servants,

Possibly half a dozen

more downstairs

and in the stable,

These old castles,

they all have

subterranean tunnels,

The others have already

escaped into the hills,

But we'll send out a

reconnaissance party,

and hunt them down

like the dogs they are,

General, there are

no others,

Of that I can

assure you,

There is a secret

resistance movement

operating in this area,

Terrorists,

Fanatical in their

defense of this

depressing

Balkan wasteland,

but they shall

not escape,

Kranz,

Jawohl,

Have the girl

taste the food,

I assure you, General,

the food is harmless,

and superbly prepared,

There are beds for you,

and for the officers,

The servants downstairs

are eager

to do everything

within their power

to make the visit

of your troops

as memorable as possible,

You seek to attach

yourself to me,

Win my confidence,

and learn our

battle plans, right?

I'm merely proud of

my homeland, General,

We have an

historic tradition

of hospitality--

You have no homeland,

You're a doorstep

to the Ukraine,

You've become a mat

on which we wipe

our boots

before re-entering

the fatherland,

General,

It is delicious,

There's goose,

sauerkraut,

sweet potatoes, spaetzle,

the bread's still warm,

Good,

You will join me,

Please sit down,

I will share

your company, General,

but, if you'll forgive

the eccentricity,

I do not sup

before midnight,

Huh, what a foolish,

primitive custom,

Under the Third Reich

all this will change,

- (howling in distance )

- Ghosts, Bah,

( indistinct chatter )

( howling continues )

So you're a Count, huh?

I'm heir to that

ancestral title, yes,

( howling )

Enjoy it while you can,

my host,

( howling )

Under German rule,,,

( howling )

people like you

will be no better off

than their servants,

Only, unlike your staff,

you will not be serving

a single master,

but an entire race,

This is what

distresses you, hmm?

It is not patriotism

or love of country,

It is the knowledge that

all of this

will be lost to you,

And, this is the reason

why you have organized

your pathetic

resistance forces,

I am a member

of the resistance?

Not only a member,

you are their leader,

I grant you,

I have not been able

to prove that as yet,

You're too clever

for that,

However, let me

assure you,

before we are

through with you,

you will talk,

( howling )

( howling continues )

We'll learn the truth,

Perhaps you shall,

( howling )

I could have stood you

up against the wall

right now if I wished to,

You realize that,

don't you?

Under martial law,,,

( indistinct chatter )

I could have you shot,

merely for

suspicious conduct,

( howling continues )

Heil Hitler,

( howling )

Heil Hitler!

( howling )

Heil Hitler,

( howling )

( howling continues )

( howling closer now )

( exclaims in German )

How can you live with

these eternal wolves?

( clock chimes )

( indistinct shouting, clamor )

( howling )

( men screaming )

(groans )

( gunshots )

Kranz!

( growling )

( gunshots )

( growling )

( gunshots )

Your bullets

are useless, General,

What do you mean?

You're finished,

all of you,

We've a hundred men

out there,

Dietrich!

( gunshots )

( alarmed shouts )

Useless, General,

( wolves snarling, growling )

If the bullets

were silver,

it would, of course,

be a different story,

( growling )

You must forgive

my servants,

and our primitive

Transylvanian customs,

If it's any

consolation, General,

this is the headquarters

of the secret resistance,

And I'm its

proud commander,

Count Dracula,

( growling )

And that,

dear child, is,,,

( grunts, sighs )

How your grandfather

served his country

in the Great War,