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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:04,140 ( music playing ) 2 00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:30,120 ANNOUNCER: Starring tonight, 3 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,090 Bill Bixby, 4 00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:34,010 Carol Lynley, 5 00:00:34,010 --> 00:00:35,200 Steve Forrest, 6 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,110 Donna Douglas, 7 00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:39,020 Albert Salmi, 8 00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:40,160 Gilbert Roland, 9 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,050 Lex Barker, 10 00:00:42,050 --> 00:00:43,070 Buddy Ebsen, 11 00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:44,200 and Jim Davis, 12 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:53,140 Felicitations and greetings from this cavern of canvases, 13 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:56,050 dedicated and devoted to bringing you art lovers 14 00:00:56,050 --> 00:00:58,170 a few in-depth probes 15 00:00:58,170 --> 00:01:00,230 through the crust of the not quite real, 16 00:01:00,230 --> 00:01:03,140 the almost real, and the frankly 17 00:01:03,140 --> 00:01:05,220 and flagrantly unreal, 18 00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:07,170 Pictures, paintings, portraits, 19 00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:10,020 rendered onto canvas with brush 20 00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:11,200 and sometimes claw, 21 00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,200 Item number one, 22 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,160 in a $12,50 pine box 23 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,210 reposes the body of a frontier Franky, 24 00:01:22,210 --> 00:01:24,230 armed but disarming, 25 00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:26,190 a victim of an Old West philosophy 26 00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:28,160 that any man with a good eye, 27 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,060 a limber finger, and a well-honed trigger 28 00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:33,220 skirts the pastures of immortality, 29 00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:36,080 But this chap found out the hard way 30 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,230 that immortality is a wish, a word, 31 00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:42,120 but infrequently a reality, 32 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,000 He awaits your pleasure in a painting we call 33 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,150 "The Waiting Room," 34 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,070 ( rope creaking ) 35 00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,230 ( horse neighing ) 36 00:02:28,210 --> 00:02:31,040 ( wind blowing ) 37 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,140 ( spurs jingling ) 38 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,190 Whiskey, 39 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:24,425 Leave it, 40 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,050 You always this busy? 41 00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:32,160 More or less, 42 00:03:34,190 --> 00:03:36,200 Any less you could plant this place in winter wheat 43 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,150 and open it up for grazing, 44 00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:43,030 ( clock ticking ) 45 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,070 Well, don't let me cramp you, gentlemen, 46 00:03:53,070 --> 00:03:54,160 Go ahead and play, 47 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,160 You're not stopping us, Mr, Dichter, 48 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:58,190 You know me? 49 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,110 SOAMES: The eminent Samuel Dichter, 50 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:06,060 past master of the six-gun, 51 00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:07,160 the lightning draw, 52 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:10,090 and a devilish deadly aim, 53 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,100 You're known, Mr, Dichter, 54 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:15,070 DICHTER: You got the advantage, 55 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,000 ( Bennett chuckles ) 56 00:04:20,050 --> 00:04:21,080 Is something funny? 57 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,050 SOAMES: Sad funny, Mr, Dichter, 58 00:04:23,050 --> 00:04:27,050 that you should think we had the advantage, 59 00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:28,140 There's no advantage here, 60 00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:30,050 particularly to you, 61 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,080 I'm betting, gentlemen, 62 00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:44,170 Who's that Johnny I seen strung up on the hill? 63 00:04:44,170 --> 00:04:47,090 Some gunner, A killer, 64 00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:49,150 Did he have a name? 65 00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:54,070 If he did, it's no use to him now, 66 00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:57,040 Did you go up there and watch it? 67 00:04:58,110 --> 00:04:59,120 What'd you say? 68 00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:03,010 The hanging, did you watch them do it? 69 00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:05,020 Things like that, uh, 70 00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:07,030 don't give me any pleasure, 71 00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:10,140 Well, it never bothered me, 72 00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:12,040 As a matter of fact, if they kick a little, 73 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,020 squirm around and take their time doing it, 74 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:16,230 well, brother, they don't bother me a bit, 75 00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:22,050 I guess there are some people 76 00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:26,090 who have a taste for death, 77 00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:28,110 You're looking at one, brother, 78 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,160 I got a taste for death 79 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,210 and a talent for delivering it, 80 00:05:31,210 --> 00:05:35,170 ( clock chiming ) 81 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,220 SOAMES: It's 9:00, Mr, McKinley, 82 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:58,120 ( clock ticking ) 83 00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:05,110 It's that hour, 84 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,070 DICHTER: You want me to, uh, take your hand? 85 00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:27,050 McKINLEY: Whatever's your pleasure, Mr, Dichter, 86 00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:31,070 DICHTER: I meant till you come back, 87 00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:33,200 SOAMES: He won't be coming back as well you know, 88 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,080 Mr, Dichter, 89 00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:40,070 As well I know? 90 00:06:40,070 --> 00:06:42,230 Mister, you don't make a hell of a lot of sense, 91 00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:44,110 I don't know who he is or where he's going 92 00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:47,010 or what the name of this town is, 93 00:06:47,010 --> 00:06:48,170 I'm cold and bone tired, and I saw the lights, 94 00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:50,010 and I come in here to get warm, 95 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,020 Now, what else am I supposed to know? 96 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,160 You know me, Sam, 97 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,220 or at least you used to, 98 00:07:00,190 --> 00:07:03,030 McKinley, 99 00:07:03,030 --> 00:07:05,060 Why, Charlie McKinley, 100 00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:09,060 The word was that you was,,, 101 00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:11,230 bushwhacked outside a saloon in Abilene, 102 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,220 Shot the back of your head off, 103 00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:15,180 That was the word, huh? 104 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:18,040 Yeah, 105 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,070 Well, it's nice to see you walking and warm, Charlie, 106 00:07:21,070 --> 00:07:22,120 I'm relieved, 107 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,160 Are you for a fact, Sam? 108 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:29,010 Well, just don't get too warm 109 00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:30,040 or too relieved, 110 00:07:42,140 --> 00:07:43,210 ( gunshot ) 111 00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:50,030 SOAMES: Where are you going, Mr, Dichter? 112 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,220 You got no ears? You didn't hear that? 113 00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:57,080 BRISTOL: We heard, 114 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,040 Are you just gonna sit there? 115 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,100 BENNETT: We're gonna sit right here, Mr, Dichter, 116 00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,220 You're not going out there and see what happened? 117 00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:07,170 SOAMES: We know what happened, 118 00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:10,190 Man just got the back of his head blown off, 119 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,190 I happen to be a,,, 120 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,000 physician, 121 00:08:18,110 --> 00:08:21,000 And I can tell you unequivocally,,, 122 00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:25,040 the net result of a shotgun well-aimed 123 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,190 at the back of a man's head, 124 00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:29,170 Instantaneous death, 125 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:32,220 Mr, McKinley has no need of anything right now, 126 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,010 except one shovel,,, 127 00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:38,140 one gravedigger, 128 00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:41,130 two strong men to tote a pine box, 129 00:08:41,130 --> 00:08:43,050 and six feet of earth, 130 00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:48,180 ( rain falling ) 131 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,190 SOAMES: Care to join us now, Mr, Dichter? 132 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,040 BRISTOL: There's your hand, Mr, Dichter, 133 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,230 Jacks or better to open, 134 00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:33,160 - Well? - Patience, brother, 135 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,080 I got to make damn sure who I'm playing poker with, 136 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,070 Just old acquaintances, 137 00:09:39,070 --> 00:09:41,100 and don't call me brother, 138 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,200 There's no flesh tying us, 139 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,060 for which I'm grateful, 140 00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:47,230 I'd sooner be kin to a vulture bird, 141 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,190 I'll make the assumption you don't know 142 00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:56,060 who you're talking to, 143 00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:58,120 BRISTOL: That's a dead wrong assumption, 144 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,020 I thought we made it clear to you, 145 00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:03,010 we know who you are, 146 00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:04,210 You're Sam Dichter, 147 00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:07,090 who fancies himself lord of the gun, 148 00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,210 As we all did once, 149 00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:10,190 BRISTOL: The problem with you, Dichter, 150 00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:13,070 is you got no memory for things, 151 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,220 Fast hand, 152 00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:16,230 slow brain, 153 00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:20,010 Now dip into that muddy swamp you call a brain 154 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,140 and try to stir up a few recollections, 155 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,140 Bristol, 156 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,190 You're Joe Bristol, 157 00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:35,020 At your service, 158 00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:40,000 I got to be dead drunk, 159 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,010 or crazy, 160 00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:43,120 I saw you gunned down in Monterey, 161 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,170 I saw it! 162 00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:46,190 Maybe you were dead drunk then, 163 00:10:46,190 --> 00:10:48,120 The hell I was, It was mid-morning, 164 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,080 hot sun, and a kid, 165 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,010 that fast gun, Auburn, 166 00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:54,070 Max Auburn was his name, 167 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,020 He called you on the street, 168 00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:57,140 he took you by a second and half, 169 00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,130 You were a corpse before you hit the ground, 170 00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:02,130 ( chair clatters on floor ) 171 00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:10,140 I know what it is, It's,,,It's fever, 172 00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:12,190 That's what's doing it, it's fever, 173 00:11:12,190 --> 00:11:15,030 I started feeling it this morning, 174 00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:19,030 This fever is crawling into my mind, 175 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,210 Well, you're a doctor, 176 00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:26,080 Why don't you trot out some pills or some medicine? 177 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,220 It wouldn't do any good, 178 00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,190 Take a little whiskey, Mr, Dichter, 179 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,110 and stay out of the cold air, 180 00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:35,170 What about the medicine? 181 00:11:35,170 --> 00:11:39,090 I could prescribe, but it's too late, 182 00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:41,130 Besides, you wouldn't take it anyway, 183 00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:42,110 Try me, 184 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,120 The prescription would be 185 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,130 for you to take off that gun belt 186 00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:52,170 and get no closer to lead than a pencil, 187 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:56,000 It lengthens the odds for a full life, 188 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,170 I'm asking for medicine, not advice, 189 00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,100 This advice is medicine, 190 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:02,020 am I right, gentlemen? 191 00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:07,100 Are you beginning to get the point, Mr, Dichter? 192 00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:09,050 What point? 193 00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:10,080 ( spits ) 194 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,010 ( spittoon clangs ) 195 00:12:12,010 --> 00:12:14,050 It's his gun hand that's fast, not his brain, 196 00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:16,150 All right, Bristol,,, 197 00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,210 you better stand up and say that to me, 198 00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:36,060 ( clock chiming ) 199 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,220 SOAMES: It's 10:00, Mr, Bristol, 200 00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:55,220 I believe that's your hour, 201 00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:59,160 ( clock ticking ) 202 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,220 I reckon that's the case, 203 00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:18,000 Where do you think you're going? 204 00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:21,140 Out into the hot sun, 205 00:13:22,220 --> 00:13:24,160 The hot sun? 206 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,140 You hear what he said? 207 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,030 He's going out in the hot sun, 208 00:13:31,030 --> 00:13:33,040 ( laughing ) 209 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,120 Mr, Bristol's going out into the hot sun, 210 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,080 ( laughing ) 211 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,230 Well, let me tell you, 212 00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:41,070 I ain't the only one around here with a fever, 213 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,010 I'll tell you what's out there, 214 00:13:43,010 --> 00:13:44,200 pitch black and icy cold, 215 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,050 You're gonna have to ride south to Mexico 216 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:47,190 before you find the sun, 217 00:13:47,190 --> 00:13:50,110 ( laughing ) 218 00:13:50,110 --> 00:13:53,080 MAN: Bristol! Joe Bristol! 219 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,190 You coming out? 220 00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:58,050 Yeah! 221 00:13:58,050 --> 00:13:59,120 I'm coming out! 222 00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:08,040 Who's out there? 223 00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,140 Who's calling you? 224 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:13,090 It's a fast kid,,, 225 00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:16,230 named Max Auburn, 226 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,180 SOAMES: As you were, Mr, Dichter, 227 00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:30,210 Either you understand or you don't understand, 228 00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:33,000 but don't ponder it, 229 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,210 There's nothing you can do, Mr, Dichter, 230 00:14:34,210 --> 00:14:38,040 except play a few hands of poker, 231 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,200 There still a pot to be won, 232 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,100 ( clock ticking ) 233 00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:57,060 ( gunshots ) 234 00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:03,210 BENNETT: So much for Joe Bristol, 235 00:15:03,210 --> 00:15:05,220 SOAMES: Mr, Dichter, 236 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:08,050 it's five-card draw, 237 00:15:08,050 --> 00:15:09,130 jacks or better to open, 238 00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:18,020 I know it's fever, 239 00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,150 None of this is happening, 240 00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:24,010 We all got the fever, red hot killing, 241 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,160 Still nothing? 242 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,020 I don't know what you're talking about, 243 00:15:28,020 --> 00:15:30,080 You just don't get it, do you? 244 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,140 I think this whole shebang is a loony bin! 245 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,140 I think you're all crazy, that's what I think! 246 00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:39,120 ( clock chiming ) 247 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,190 What's going on? 248 00:16:06,190 --> 00:16:08,080 What's happening? 249 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,200 It's my turn now, Mr, Dichter, 250 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,180 Your turn for what? 251 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:16,020 The name is Bennett, 252 00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:18,030 Abe Bennett, 253 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,100 Oh, no, 254 00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,180 Banks are my specialty,,, 255 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,150 or don't you recall? 256 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:29,090 Yeah, I recall, 257 00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:32,220 You wore pearl-handled,,, 258 00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:35,090 BENNETT: That's right, 259 00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:36,220 Honed-down trigger, 260 00:16:38,070 --> 00:16:40,110 Just a whoosh and a little breeze 261 00:16:40,110 --> 00:16:41,120 could pull it, 262 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,010 My pride, Mr, Dichter, 263 00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,200 until one day in Tombstone, 264 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,130 after I put a two-foot hole 265 00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:50,170 in a 70 year-old bank teller, 266 00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:55,120 Oh, I got the bill from the fiddler, all right,,, 267 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,090 for all the music I had played and all the dancing, 268 00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,120 You ever hear what happened? 269 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:08,220 I know something about,,, 270 00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:10,100 something about a church, 271 00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,140 The belfry, 272 00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:17,170 They were waiting outside the bank for me, 273 00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,170 I ran into this little church, 274 00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:22,100 climbed the ladder, 275 00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:25,040 and the minute I stuck my head up, 276 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:29,200 there was one smart deputy with a rifle 277 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,230 and the eyes of an eagle, 278 00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:37,200 I went over the side, hanging on the bell rope, 279 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,110 and I set 'em to ringin', 280 00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:44,220 They rang all the way down, 281 00:17:44,220 --> 00:17:46,140 and they were still ringing when they threw me 282 00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,040 on the back of a horse, 283 00:17:50,050 --> 00:17:52,020 Me and my pearl-handled Colt 284 00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:54,130 and 20 bucks in greenbacks, 285 00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:56,190 Twenty bucks, Mr, Dichter, 286 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:04,190 That's what I risked a life and took a life for, 287 00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:13,000 Cheap morning, all around, 288 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000 Where are you going? 289 00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:19,190 Damn your eyes, Dichter, 290 00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:22,070 Your wits slog along like crippled mule, don't they? 291 00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:24,120 Where am I going? 292 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,050 I'm going out to a bank in Tombstone, 293 00:18:27,050 --> 00:18:30,170 then I'm going up to a belfry in a little church, 294 00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:32,180 and then I'm gonna drop 50 feet down 295 00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:36,080 to a dusty street with a bullet 296 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,140 between my eyes and the sound of bells, 297 00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:50,220 ( clock ticking ) 298 00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:52,140 ( gunshot ) 299 00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:55,070 ( church bells ringing ) 300 00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:04,110 Some of the pieces beginning to fall into place, 301 00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,110 Mr, Dichter? 302 00:19:07,050 --> 00:19:09,030 The point looking a little clearer? 303 00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:12,030 What point? 304 00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:14,100 The point, 305 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:16,210 We, all of us, 306 00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:20,000 made a vow with a gun, 307 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:24,020 A Colt ,45 till death do us part, 308 00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:27,000 I stayed on the clean side, 309 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,210 Took care of the boys that used a gun, 310 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,190 Old Doc Soames, 311 00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:35,170 your friendly slug remover, 312 00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:39,060 Bring me any carcass with one breath left in it 313 00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:44,210 and, for a price, I would gouge out the lead 314 00:19:44,210 --> 00:19:47,100 and make you run again 315 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,020 and shoot again 316 00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:51,080 and kill again, 317 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,160 Right up until the end, 318 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:58,010 these fingers never pulled a trigger, 319 00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:00,130 They were skilled and trained 320 00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:03,230 and educated in the art of surgery, 321 00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,140 A gift from God, 322 00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:11,070 And then one conscience-stricken day, 323 00:20:11,070 --> 00:20:14,000 when I toted up 324 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,120 the killers that I had saved, 325 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:18,020 I suddenly realized, 326 00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:20,090 I had spit in God's eye, 327 00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:24,060 For for every patient that I counted, 328 00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:26,200 I counted at least one victim, 329 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,080 Every man I saved 330 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,080 had gone out and killed again, 331 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,070 What does the Bible say about, uh,,, 332 00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:38,220 he who lives by the sword 333 00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:41,090 shall die by the sword, 334 00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:44,220 Update that, Mr, Dichter, 335 00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:46,080 make it a gun, 336 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:50,040 ( clock chiming ) 337 00:21:11,050 --> 00:21:14,140 ( clock ticking ) 338 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:16,070 And then one night, 339 00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:18,150 I walked into my office,,, 340 00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:22,050 I pulled open the drawer 341 00:21:22,050 --> 00:21:23,230 and took out a gun, 342 00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:31,030 Blue steel symbol of my professional skill, 343 00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:35,140 That long barreled deity that 344 00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:39,040 you and I have worshipped for so long,,, 345 00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:42,100 and I turned it on myself, 346 00:21:48,110 --> 00:21:50,110 The point is, Mr, Dichter, 347 00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:52,120 the illusive point,,, 348 00:21:53,140 --> 00:21:56,160 is that we, 349 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,210 all of us were doomed,,, 350 00:22:00,050 --> 00:22:03,070 from the moment we took up firearms, 351 00:22:03,070 --> 00:22:05,170 ( clock ticking ) 352 00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:11,130 I'm not doomed! 353 00:22:15,020 --> 00:22:16,200 I've still got a right hand, 354 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,050 I can outdraw any man alive, 355 00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:19,190 I got a talent for it! 356 00:22:19,190 --> 00:22:22,190 You had a talent for it, Mr, Dichter, 357 00:22:24,170 --> 00:22:26,180 Do I have to ask you again? 358 00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:28,130 What are you talking about? 359 00:22:28,130 --> 00:22:32,020 Just how did you figure it, Mr, Dichter, 360 00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:35,020 that you were immortal? 361 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,180 That after every gunfight, 362 00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:39,230 the victim was dragged away through the bloody sand, 363 00:22:39,230 --> 00:22:41,180 and you walked to the bar and had a drink? 364 00:22:41,180 --> 00:22:43,140 Is that the way you figured it? 365 00:22:43,140 --> 00:22:46,030 It never happened any other way! 366 00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:49,200 Until that unfortunate moment 367 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,100 when somebody appears, 368 00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:54,170 somebody younger, 369 00:22:54,170 --> 00:22:57,050 quicker, faster, 370 00:22:57,050 --> 00:22:59,180 tougher, deadlier, 371 00:23:01,060 --> 00:23:06,050 That moment which Mr, Bennett perceived 372 00:23:06,050 --> 00:23:08,120 when you have to pay the bill, 373 00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:13,060 That bill now due and payable,,, 374 00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:16,210 for yours truly, 375 00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:26,200 ( gunshot ) 376 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,030 What's the name of this town? Where is it? 377 00:23:35,030 --> 00:23:36,050 What is it? 378 00:23:36,050 --> 00:23:39,030 It's just a,,, 379 00:23:39,030 --> 00:23:42,170 just a waiting room, Mr, Dichter, 380 00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:45,180 where each men waits out what is ordained, 381 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,210 Some call it, uh,,, 382 00:23:49,210 --> 00:23:51,000 hell, 383 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,090 Why, you don't make no sense, either, 384 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,130 Fill it, 385 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,100 I'm afraid there's no more time, 386 00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,200 ( clock chimes ) 387 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,090 ( ticking ) 388 00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:14,130 DICHTER: I need a drink, 389 00:24:14,130 --> 00:24:16,140 You want a drink, Mr, Dichter, 390 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,070 You don't need it, 391 00:24:20,090 --> 00:24:22,110 It's, uh,,, 392 00:24:22,110 --> 00:24:24,080 It's your time now, 393 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,110 My time, 394 00:24:26,110 --> 00:24:30,180 Mister, I got no appointment with anybody anywhere, 395 00:24:30,180 --> 00:24:33,010 but I'll tell what you need, 396 00:24:33,010 --> 00:24:35,230 You need to get that clock fixed, 397 00:24:35,230 --> 00:24:37,160 Now, you give me another drink or you're gonna be 398 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,210 the coldest bartender east of California, 399 00:24:39,210 --> 00:24:43,170 ( crowd shouting ) 400 00:24:43,170 --> 00:24:44,210 What's that? 401 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,170 That would be the voices of the jury, 402 00:25:08,170 --> 00:25:12,130 the people who passed judgment on you 403 00:25:12,130 --> 00:25:15,020 after your last kill, 404 00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:17,150 They're outside, 405 00:25:17,150 --> 00:25:19,040 waiting, 406 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,200 ( crowd shouting ) 407 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,160 It's closing time, 408 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,000 Mr, Dichter, 409 00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:52,050 No doubt, 410 00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:54,050 I will be seeing you again, 411 00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:58,210 You won't be seeing me again, 412 00:25:58,210 --> 00:25:59,230 I don't like the place, 413 00:25:59,230 --> 00:26:01,020 the drink, 414 00:26:01,020 --> 00:26:02,130 or the company, 415 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,100 You won't be seeing me, 416 00:26:09,090 --> 00:26:11,230 ( crowd shouting ) 417 00:26:17,070 --> 00:26:20,070 ( ticking ) 418 00:26:20,070 --> 00:26:23,030 I'll be seeing you again,,, 419 00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:26,080 Mr, Dichter 420 00:26:27,130 --> 00:26:30,010 ( rope creaking ) 421 00:26:43,150 --> 00:26:46,010 - Aah! - ( horse whinnying ) 422 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,220 ( clock ticking ) 423 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,190 ( clock chiming ) 424 00:27:42,180 --> 00:27:46,150 ( chiming grows louder ) 425 00:27:57,170 --> 00:28:00,050 To those amongst you with a predilection 426 00:28:00,050 --> 00:28:02,070 toward antique collection, 427 00:28:02,070 --> 00:28:05,000 or the occasional bargain- hunting that takes place 428 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,070 in out-of-the-way nooks and stalls, 429 00:28:07,070 --> 00:28:10,020 this painting suggests a certain required wariness 430 00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:11,220 when it comes to your shopping, 431 00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:13,120 because there are moments 432 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,060 when behind some dusty book 433 00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:16,170 or in a cobwebbed corner 434 00:28:16,170 --> 00:28:18,090 of an ancient vestibule, 435 00:28:18,090 --> 00:28:20,070 you'll uncover a little objet d'art 436 00:28:20,070 --> 00:28:22,170 which can horrify the heck out of you, 437 00:28:22,170 --> 00:28:25,020 such being the case in this painting, 438 00:28:25,020 --> 00:28:26,220 when a lady goes junking about 439 00:28:26,220 --> 00:28:29,000 and uncovers a mythological statue 440 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,180 that has lived past its time 441 00:28:30,180 --> 00:28:33,010 and intrudes on hers, 442 00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:34,120 We call the painting 443 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:37,090 "The Last Rites for a Dead Druid," 444 00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:40,070 ( music playing ) 445 00:28:43,210 --> 00:28:46,180 ( clock ticking ) 446 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,050 MILDRED: Jenny! 447 00:29:05,050 --> 00:29:06,140 Jenny, you've got to come 448 00:29:06,140 --> 00:29:08,000 and take a look at this, 449 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,010 What did you find, Mildred? 450 00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:13,070 Oh, dear God, 451 00:29:13,070 --> 00:29:14,110 MILDRED: Three guesses, 452 00:29:14,110 --> 00:29:15,200 Three? 453 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,190 Who needs three? 454 00:29:17,190 --> 00:29:19,150 It's Bruce! 455 00:29:19,150 --> 00:29:21,030 MILDRED: In his bathrobe, 456 00:29:21,030 --> 00:29:22,090 Oh, Jenny, you've got to buy it! 457 00:29:22,090 --> 00:29:23,160 JENNY: Oh, he'll have a fit, 458 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,120 MILDRED: Oh, no, he'll love it, 459 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,090 He'll tell everybody it's his great-grandfather, 460 00:29:27,090 --> 00:29:29,010 I wonder how much it costs? 461 00:29:29,010 --> 00:29:31,060 Mr, Bernstein? 462 00:29:31,060 --> 00:29:34,060 Did you call me, Mrs, Tarraday? 463 00:29:34,060 --> 00:29:36,080 JENNY: Mr, Bernstein, Miss McVane and I 464 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,070 were wondering about this statue, 465 00:29:38,070 --> 00:29:40,060 - Oh, - Yeah, 466 00:29:40,060 --> 00:29:42,220 That's a very fine piece, 467 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,010 There's a story connected with this piece, ladies, 468 00:29:48,010 --> 00:29:49,090 What's the story? 469 00:29:49,090 --> 00:29:50,190 I don't know the story, 470 00:29:50,190 --> 00:29:52,150 But how can it not have a story? 471 00:29:52,150 --> 00:29:53,170 Look at it, 472 00:29:53,170 --> 00:29:54,190 Well, how much is it? 473 00:29:54,190 --> 00:29:56,100 BERNSTEIN: How much is it? 474 00:29:56,100 --> 00:30:00,000 Uh, considering the craftsmanship and material,,, 475 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,130 What is the material? 476 00:30:01,130 --> 00:30:03,020 I couldn't tell you, 477 00:30:03,020 --> 00:30:05,230 It isn't marble, Feel it, it's rough, 478 00:30:05,230 --> 00:30:08,090 And it isn't limestone because it don't chip, 479 00:30:08,090 --> 00:30:10,200 I don't know this stone, 480 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,060 It's weird stone, I can tell you, 481 00:30:13,060 --> 00:30:14,070 JENNY: Well, where'd you get it? 482 00:30:14,070 --> 00:30:15,150 BERNSTEIN: It was here, 483 00:30:15,150 --> 00:30:17,210 Ten years ago when I bought the store 484 00:30:17,210 --> 00:30:19,120 and the stock from Pelham & Grogan, 485 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,010 it was standing in the back, 486 00:30:21,010 --> 00:30:23,190 I brought him in here, How much is it? 487 00:30:23,190 --> 00:30:25,200 How can I tell you how much it is? 488 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,140 Some days, I look at it, 489 00:30:27,140 --> 00:30:29,040 and I say to myself, 490 00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:31,220 "I'll give him away to the first customer 491 00:30:31,220 --> 00:30:34,010 who's strong enough to lift him," 492 00:30:34,010 --> 00:30:37,040 Other days, I look at him and I say, 493 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:40,070 "You're a nice piece, whatever you are," 494 00:30:40,070 --> 00:30:42,160 "You could bring a good profit 495 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,110 in the hands of the right party," 496 00:30:44,110 --> 00:30:48,130 Hmm, What are you telling yourself today, Mr, Bernstein? 497 00:30:48,130 --> 00:30:50,180 Today, I'm telling myself, 498 00:30:50,180 --> 00:30:52,140 "I just bought a bedroom suite 499 00:30:52,140 --> 00:30:55,110 "from an estate they're settling "in Beverly Hills, 500 00:30:55,110 --> 00:30:57,040 and I could use the space," 501 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,210 75 bucks, 502 00:30:58,210 --> 00:31:01,060 Oh, Jenny, take it, 503 00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:03,040 He looks just like Miss Tarraday's husband, 504 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,010 You couldn't have told me that sooner, young lady? 505 00:31:06,010 --> 00:31:08,020 I'd have asked a hundred, 506 00:31:10,210 --> 00:31:12,130 It was a steal, darling, 507 00:31:12,130 --> 00:31:13,200 BRUCE: Ah, which of you was the thief? 508 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,010 $75 to Mr, Bernstein 509 00:31:16,010 --> 00:31:17,160 and $5,00 to his nephew 510 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,010 who has a pickup truck, 511 00:31:19,010 --> 00:31:20,170 It was Mildred who found it, 512 00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:22,210 Hmm, I see, 513 00:31:22,210 --> 00:31:23,230 I didn't know it was lost, 514 00:31:23,230 --> 00:31:25,010 Well, look at it, 515 00:31:25,010 --> 00:31:26,030 Mm-hmm, 516 00:31:26,030 --> 00:31:27,150 I am, 517 00:31:27,150 --> 00:31:31,020 Well, look closer, Who does it remind you of? 518 00:31:31,020 --> 00:31:32,180 Who does it remind me of? 519 00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:34,140 - JENNY: Yes, - BRUCE: Look, Jenny, 520 00:31:34,140 --> 00:31:36,110 I hope you aren't gonna try 521 00:31:36,110 --> 00:31:38,120 and tell me you think you might have found 522 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,210 some lost Bernini in a Redondo Beach junkshop, 523 00:31:41,210 --> 00:31:44,160 Bruce, it isn't the artist that it reminds me of, 524 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,190 What subject? 525 00:31:46,190 --> 00:31:48,070 BRUCE: Subject? 526 00:31:48,070 --> 00:31:49,150 JENNY: Yes, See? 527 00:31:49,150 --> 00:31:50,220 Why do you think I bought it? 528 00:31:50,220 --> 00:31:52,180 Well, I think you bought it 529 00:31:52,180 --> 00:31:54,040 because you keep forgetting 530 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,220 that your brainless friend, Mildred McVane, 531 00:31:55,220 --> 00:31:58,150 has a thousand dollars a week alimony to live on 532 00:31:58,150 --> 00:32:00,100 and can spend 50% of it 533 00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:02,100 on useless knickknacks like this, 534 00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:05,080 while your husband is only a seventh junior partner 535 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,150 in a law firm that has only seven junior partners, 536 00:32:08,150 --> 00:32:10,090 - and earns approximately,,, - JENNY: I bought it 537 00:32:10,090 --> 00:32:12,050 because it looks like you, 538 00:32:13,220 --> 00:32:15,000 Objection, 539 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,090 Overruled, 540 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,190 I thought you were asleep, darling, 541 00:32:24,190 --> 00:32:27,220 BRUCE: I don't look like him, 542 00:32:27,220 --> 00:32:29,110 Mildred, noticed it first, 543 00:32:29,110 --> 00:32:31,010 - Mildred? - Mm-hmm, 544 00:32:31,010 --> 00:32:35,050 Oh,,,Mildred, 545 00:32:35,050 --> 00:32:40,070 That female is noticeably more noticed than noticing, 546 00:32:40,070 --> 00:32:42,140 - That's very well put, darling, - Thank you, 547 00:32:42,140 --> 00:32:44,130 You know, that Bellicose and Brady, 548 00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:45,160 Dennison and Daws, 549 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:46,170 Entworth and Fox 550 00:32:46,170 --> 00:32:48,030 knew what they were doing 551 00:32:48,030 --> 00:32:51,020 when they added Tarraday to their front door, 552 00:32:51,020 --> 00:32:53,110 Mm-hmm, Not anything like him, 553 00:32:53,110 --> 00:32:55,040 - Yeah? - Yeah, 554 00:33:01,140 --> 00:33:05,060 ( music playing ) 555 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,130 ( lamp clicks ) 556 00:33:37,130 --> 00:33:39,040 Aah! Aah! 557 00:33:40,070 --> 00:33:44,010 Aah! Aah! Aah! 558 00:33:44,010 --> 00:33:46,200 ( gasps ) 559 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,220 ( Bruce whimpering ) 560 00:33:49,220 --> 00:33:51,090 Bruce, wake up, 561 00:33:51,090 --> 00:33:53,150 Wake up, Bruce, 562 00:33:53,150 --> 00:33:56,000 Bruce, wake up! You're dreaming! Bruce, 563 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,130 ( whimpering ) 564 00:33:58,130 --> 00:34:00,230 Bruce, what--what were you dreaming about? 565 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:12,080 I'm a complete non-believer 566 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,210 when it comes to witchcraft, 567 00:34:13,210 --> 00:34:15,080 the casting of evil spells 568 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:16,110 and things of that matter, 569 00:34:16,110 --> 00:34:20,100 but at this particular moment, 570 00:34:20,100 --> 00:34:22,150 it would give me absolute pleasure 571 00:34:22,150 --> 00:34:24,160 to have a replica 572 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,130 of Mildred McVane to stick pins into, 573 00:34:27,130 --> 00:34:29,160 And when I was finished with her, 574 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,140 one glass of water would turn her 575 00:34:31,140 --> 00:34:32,180 into a water sprinkler, 576 00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:34,080 Bruce! 577 00:34:39,170 --> 00:34:41,050 Good morning, Mrs, Stanley, 578 00:34:41,050 --> 00:34:43,080 Good morning, Marta, Isn't Mr, Tarraday here? 579 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,100 He went out into the garden, ma'am, 580 00:34:45,100 --> 00:34:47,090 Oh, Well, you can start breakfast now, 581 00:34:47,090 --> 00:34:48,170 Yes, ma'am, 582 00:34:48,170 --> 00:34:51,140 Bruce! Breakfast is ready! 583 00:34:51,140 --> 00:34:53,070 Coming, dear, 584 00:35:08,060 --> 00:35:09,150 BRUCE: Really? 585 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:22,060 Mr, Tarraday, of course, of course, 586 00:35:22,060 --> 00:35:24,080 Your wife, Mrs, Tarraday, 587 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:25,200 is one of my customers here, 588 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,120 She's bought some fine pieces here, 589 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,150 - Very fine pieces, - Yes, yes, 590 00:35:29,150 --> 00:35:31,160 It's a pleasure to know you, sir, 591 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,040 Well, it's very nice to meet you, too, Mr, Bernstein, 592 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:38,230 Um, it is about one of those fine pieces that I am here, 593 00:35:38,230 --> 00:35:40,080 A statue? 594 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,190 Ah, the drood, 595 00:35:41,190 --> 00:35:43,100 Drood? What is a drood? 596 00:35:43,100 --> 00:35:45,110 Actually, it says on the picture, 597 00:35:45,110 --> 00:35:47,010 it's not drood, 598 00:35:47,010 --> 00:35:48,170 It's pre-drood, 599 00:35:48,170 --> 00:35:50,160 We haven't cleared this up, 600 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,110 Wait, You'll see, 601 00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:55,180 You could call it a very funny coincidence, 602 00:35:55,180 --> 00:35:58,180 but on the very same day when your wife was here 603 00:35:58,180 --> 00:36:00,080 with her pretty young friend,,, 604 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,120 Oh, pretty young friend, 605 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,100 A knockabout, let me tell you, 606 00:36:04,100 --> 00:36:06,110 Hmm, listen to me, 607 00:36:06,110 --> 00:36:10,080 Oh, if I was only 50 again, 608 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,020 But, of course, if I was 50 again, 609 00:36:13,020 --> 00:36:18,020 Mrs, Bernstein would be 47 again, so,,, 610 00:36:18,020 --> 00:36:20,100 Anyway, later in the day, 611 00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:22,010 a customer comes in, 612 00:36:22,010 --> 00:36:25,060 and he wants to buy the rolltop desk here, 613 00:36:25,060 --> 00:36:27,070 - A fine piece,,, - ( pounds desk ) 614 00:36:27,070 --> 00:36:29,040 solid wood, 615 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,090 As soon as my nephew shows up with the pick-up truck, uh,,, 616 00:36:32,090 --> 00:36:34,180 So while I'm cleaning out the drawers 617 00:36:34,180 --> 00:36:37,120 to get it ready for my customer, 618 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,010 what do you think I find inside, 619 00:36:40,010 --> 00:36:43,070 where I haven't even peeked since I bought the entire stock 620 00:36:43,070 --> 00:36:46,180 from Pelham & Grogan 10 years ago, 621 00:36:46,180 --> 00:36:48,110 but a complete set of books 622 00:36:48,110 --> 00:36:52,050 with photographs of all the merchandise, 623 00:36:52,050 --> 00:36:57,060 And what do you think I find in one of the books 624 00:36:57,060 --> 00:36:59,100 but a picture of the very statue 625 00:36:59,100 --> 00:37:01,070 your wife, Mrs, Tarraday, 626 00:37:01,070 --> 00:37:03,040 bought earlier in the day,,, 627 00:37:04,070 --> 00:37:05,230 and was asking about, 628 00:37:05,230 --> 00:37:08,170 but I couldn't say, because I didn't know, 629 00:37:08,170 --> 00:37:10,130 It's typewritten on the back, 630 00:37:10,130 --> 00:37:12,000 everything about it, 631 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,190 See? What did I tell you? 632 00:37:14,190 --> 00:37:16,040 Pre-drood, 633 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,190 That's "druid," 634 00:37:17,190 --> 00:37:19,110 ( clock chiming ) 635 00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:21,000 So, druid, 636 00:37:22,180 --> 00:37:24,090 Tell me something, 637 00:37:25,180 --> 00:37:27,090 What is this? 638 00:37:28,210 --> 00:37:31,020 Oh, that, uh,,, 639 00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:32,220 I'm very sorry about, 640 00:37:32,220 --> 00:37:35,100 But when I sold it to your wife, Mrs, Tarraday, 641 00:37:35,100 --> 00:37:38,030 I didn't know that feature was missing, 642 00:37:38,030 --> 00:37:41,020 I don't like to sell defective goods, 643 00:37:41,020 --> 00:37:44,140 It gives the business a bad name, 644 00:37:44,140 --> 00:37:46,140 But if you're dissatisfied, 645 00:37:46,140 --> 00:37:49,100 I could give you back $10 on the cost, 646 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:52,040 What? No, No, no, that's, uh,,, 647 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,010 That's all right, Mr, Bernstein, 648 00:37:54,010 --> 00:37:55,140 Doesn't make any difference, 649 00:37:55,140 --> 00:37:58,060 "A statue, sculptor unknown, of hooded monk, 650 00:37:58,060 --> 00:38:00,010 "attributed to early pre-druid 651 00:38:00,010 --> 00:38:01,200 "or possibly latter Cambrian order 652 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,210 "of secret and cabalistic priesthood of Midlothian, 653 00:38:04,210 --> 00:38:06,140 "possibly that of its leader, 654 00:38:06,140 --> 00:38:10,160 the later defrocked abbot Penicuik Cathedral, 655 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:13,060 "Father Balimaster, 656 00:38:13,060 --> 00:38:17,080 referred to as Bruce the Black," 657 00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,150 JENNY: There! 658 00:38:19,150 --> 00:38:21,120 What is "there" supposed to mean? 659 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,160 Well, Mildred said that you would claim him 660 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,070 as a great-great-grandfather, 661 00:38:25,070 --> 00:38:28,150 Oh, I would rather claim Mildred as a third cousin, 662 00:38:28,150 --> 00:38:30,160 Well, you're about to claim her 663 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,210 as a dinner guest in about a half an hour, 664 00:38:32,210 --> 00:38:34,100 Oh, no, 665 00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:36,070 JENNY: Mmm, You'd better start the barbeque, 666 00:38:36,070 --> 00:38:39,060 What else does it say about him, huh? 667 00:38:39,060 --> 00:38:43,020 Well, enough to suggest 668 00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:46,010 that you may not have been as delighted 669 00:38:46,010 --> 00:38:47,220 as you might have imagined 670 00:38:47,220 --> 00:38:51,020 had I really been descended from Bruce the Black, 671 00:38:51,020 --> 00:38:54,220 It seems he practiced sorcery, 672 00:38:54,220 --> 00:38:56,080 - Hmm? - BRUCE: Yes, 673 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,180 And the religious ceremonies 674 00:38:57,180 --> 00:39:01,030 of his particular order were purely satanic, 675 00:39:01,030 --> 00:39:03,140 and the worshipers followed their leaders' 676 00:39:03,140 --> 00:39:06,130 habit of debauchery and rapine, 677 00:39:06,130 --> 00:39:09,160 as well as sacrifices, 678 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:13,000 both animal and human, 679 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:16,020 on equinoxial celebrations, 680 00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:17,190 I mean, that is, um, 681 00:39:17,190 --> 00:39:20,040 according to what it states here, 682 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,190 "to the 18th edition of the Maleficarum 683 00:39:23,190 --> 00:39:25,050 "later deleted, 684 00:39:25,050 --> 00:39:27,210 "he maintained his primacy among his order 685 00:39:27,210 --> 00:39:30,150 "of fellow murderers and immoralists 686 00:39:30,150 --> 00:39:32,010 "by the power 687 00:39:32,010 --> 00:39:36,010 "of turning any would-be attackers 688 00:39:36,010 --> 00:39:38,080 into stone," 689 00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,140 But you don't believe in sorcery, 690 00:39:41,140 --> 00:39:44,090 Any more than I believe in sacrifices, 691 00:39:44,090 --> 00:39:46,010 whether animal or human, 692 00:39:46,010 --> 00:39:48,060 or murder, or adultery, 693 00:39:48,060 --> 00:39:50,010 or worshiping the devil, 694 00:39:50,010 --> 00:39:52,110 But I do believe that I would not have been 695 00:39:52,110 --> 00:39:54,090 any happier had I found out 696 00:39:54,090 --> 00:39:56,050 that Bruce the Black was an ancestor, 697 00:39:56,050 --> 00:39:57,220 then he would be to find 698 00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:59,180 that I was a descendant, 699 00:39:59,180 --> 00:40:01,160 I will make the barbeque, 700 00:40:24,060 --> 00:40:26,030 Ow! Darn it! 701 00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:49,160 You are a piece 702 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,140 of not particularly well-executed 703 00:40:52,140 --> 00:40:54,230 and totally worthless rock, 704 00:40:54,230 --> 00:40:56,130 You are not, 705 00:40:56,130 --> 00:40:59,200 and have never been a salacious sorcerer 706 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,170 or a pre-druidical priest named Bruce the Black, 707 00:41:02,170 --> 00:41:05,160 who I'm sure never existed in the first place, 708 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:08,220 You are nothing whatever except ugly 709 00:41:08,220 --> 00:41:15,010 and bearing absolutely no resemblance to me at all, 710 00:41:15,010 --> 00:41:18,060 You have no power, 711 00:41:18,060 --> 00:41:21,200 You can't move, 712 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,020 and you neither impress,,, 713 00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:28,230 nor intimidate me, 714 00:41:28,230 --> 00:41:30,120 and you are going back 715 00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,210 to Mr, Bernstein's junkyard, 716 00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:35,150 where you came from and where you belong, 717 00:41:35,150 --> 00:41:38,110 MILDRED: Will you introduce me to Bruce the Black, Bruce? 718 00:41:39,180 --> 00:41:42,180 I mean, I met him casually before, 719 00:41:42,180 --> 00:41:45,070 If you call being present when someone gets bought 720 00:41:45,070 --> 00:41:48,140 for $75, plus $5,00 for delivery, 721 00:41:48,140 --> 00:41:50,070 a casual meeting, 722 00:41:50,070 --> 00:41:53,010 But I didn't even know his name then, 723 00:41:53,010 --> 00:41:57,110 so it wasn't a proper meeting really, was it? 724 00:41:57,110 --> 00:42:00,190 How did you know he was called Bruce the Black? 725 00:42:00,190 --> 00:42:04,000 Oh, there's nothing magic about that, 726 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,180 I saw Jenny inside, 727 00:42:05,180 --> 00:42:08,170 Oh, yes, yes, where is she, Jenny? 728 00:42:08,170 --> 00:42:12,010 She went upstairs to powder her nose, 729 00:42:12,010 --> 00:42:13,190 Go on, 730 00:42:58,020 --> 00:42:59,090 I would have said something 731 00:42:59,090 --> 00:43:00,190 a good deal heavier than that, 732 00:43:27,060 --> 00:43:29,190 I suppose you'll go to Jenny about it, 733 00:43:29,190 --> 00:43:31,110 MILDRED: You mean, tell her? 734 00:43:31,110 --> 00:43:32,210 Yes, 735 00:43:36,060 --> 00:43:38,130 Only on one condition, 736 00:43:38,130 --> 00:43:41,050 That you don't promise you'll never do it again, 737 00:43:41,050 --> 00:43:43,150 - Now, look,,, - I am, 738 00:43:43,150 --> 00:43:46,130 and I'm seeing something I never saw before, 739 00:43:46,130 --> 00:43:50,000 and I don't mind it at all, 740 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,000 Get out of here! 741 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,120 JENNY: Bruce? Bruce, is that you? 742 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:15,150 What do you want? 743 00:44:15,150 --> 00:44:18,060 I--Who were you talking to? 744 00:44:18,060 --> 00:44:21,020 BRUCE: Uh, nobody, just, uh,,, 745 00:44:21,020 --> 00:44:23,020 The neighbor's cat was over here chasing some birds, 746 00:44:23,020 --> 00:44:24,070 You're gonna have to call them about it, 747 00:44:24,070 --> 00:44:26,050 I will dear, tomorrow, 748 00:44:26,050 --> 00:44:28,050 Oh, look, 749 00:44:28,050 --> 00:44:30,100 Look at your great-grandfather, 750 00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:32,040 What about him? 751 00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:35,110 JENNY: Well, look what the sunset's doing to him, 752 00:44:35,110 --> 00:44:37,090 He's got eyes, 753 00:44:43,070 --> 00:44:44,170 Jenny? 754 00:44:46,020 --> 00:44:49,030 Uh, where's Marta with the steaks? 755 00:44:49,030 --> 00:44:50,150 The fire's almost ready, 756 00:44:50,150 --> 00:44:51,200 I'll tell her, dear, 757 00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,160 ( laughing diabolically ) 758 00:45:25,180 --> 00:45:28,070 ( laughing ) 759 00:45:32,220 --> 00:45:34,200 - ( cat meows ) - Kitty, 760 00:45:36,070 --> 00:45:37,150 Here, kitty, 761 00:45:37,150 --> 00:45:40,090 ( cat meowing ) 762 00:45:48,010 --> 00:45:50,190 ( cat yowling ) 763 00:45:50,190 --> 00:45:52,080 ( laughing ) 764 00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:54,210 ( cat yowling ) 765 00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:06,130 Aah! 766 00:46:06,130 --> 00:46:09,040 ( cat yowling ) 767 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,040 Marta, what's wrong? 768 00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:12,140 He,,, 769 00:46:12,140 --> 00:46:14,210 - He would cook the cat, - What? 770 00:46:14,210 --> 00:46:16,090 You crazy old bag, get out of here! 771 00:46:16,090 --> 00:46:17,190 JENNY: Bruce! 772 00:46:17,190 --> 00:46:19,150 I,,, 773 00:46:19,150 --> 00:46:21,120 I probably have a very high temperature 774 00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:23,080 at this time, 775 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,000 - Marta, I'm sorry, - No, I--I pack tonight, 776 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,030 and I leave in the morning! 777 00:46:32,070 --> 00:46:36,060 Mildred, have you noticed anything different 778 00:46:36,060 --> 00:46:37,230 about Bruce lately? 779 00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:39,150 Oh, no, honey, 780 00:46:39,150 --> 00:46:41,140 It's the same old Bruce, 781 00:46:59,050 --> 00:47:00,080 BRUCE: What do you want? 782 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,190 BRUCE THE BLACK: Kill her, 783 00:47:01,190 --> 00:47:05,090 Kill her, then you can have the other one, 784 00:47:05,090 --> 00:47:09,090 The beautiful gold, and blue and emerald one, 785 00:47:09,090 --> 00:47:11,130 Kill this one, 786 00:47:11,130 --> 00:47:13,070 Kill her, 787 00:47:15,110 --> 00:47:16,170 How? 788 00:47:16,170 --> 00:47:18,150 BRUCE THE BLACK: With your pillow, 789 00:47:18,150 --> 00:47:22,000 It's easy, Your pillow over her face, 790 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,040 In a minute, two minutes, that's all it takes, 791 00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,220 She'll be dead, 792 00:47:27,220 --> 00:47:29,200 Think of the other one, 793 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,100 You want her, 794 00:47:31,100 --> 00:47:33,060 You've always wanted her, 795 00:47:33,060 --> 00:47:35,010 Now she'll be yours, 796 00:47:35,010 --> 00:47:37,110 But kill this one first, 797 00:47:41,070 --> 00:47:43,090 Go on, kill her, 798 00:47:43,090 --> 00:47:45,010 It's almost done, 799 00:47:45,010 --> 00:47:46,160 Then the other one, 800 00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,150 the one, she'll be yours, 801 00:47:49,150 --> 00:47:51,030 She wants you, too, 802 00:47:51,030 --> 00:47:54,040 just as much as you want her, 803 00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,050 Only one thing stands in the way, 804 00:47:57,050 --> 00:47:59,110 this one, 805 00:47:59,110 --> 00:48:02,120 It's easy, your pillow over her face, 806 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,000 Kill this one first, 807 00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,110 - Your pillow over her face, - No, 808 00:48:07,110 --> 00:48:09,040 BRUCE THE BLACK: In a minute, 809 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:10,200 two minutes, that's all it takes, 810 00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,040 No! 811 00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:13,210 BRUCE THE BLACK: She'll be dead, 812 00:48:13,210 --> 00:48:17,010 - Kill this one first, - No, 813 00:48:17,010 --> 00:48:20,040 ( whimpering ) No, 814 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,060 No, No! 815 00:48:25,100 --> 00:48:27,060 No more of this, 816 00:48:27,060 --> 00:48:28,220 No more! 817 00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:47,030 This is where it ends! 818 00:48:48,070 --> 00:48:50,030 ( scream ) 819 00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:52,150 Bruce? 820 00:48:52,150 --> 00:48:54,120 Bruce, where are you? 821 00:48:58,140 --> 00:49:00,030 Bruce? 822 00:49:02,060 --> 00:49:03,130 Bruce? 823 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,040 Bruce? 824 00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,150 ( gasping ) 825 00:49:10,150 --> 00:49:13,080 ( screams ) 826 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,110 ( gasps ) 827 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,140 ( gasps ) 828 00:49:40,030 --> 00:49:43,040 BERNSTEIN: A nice piece, I got to admit it, 829 00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,120 A very nice piece, 830 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:48,180 Good stone, fine condition, 831 00:49:48,180 --> 00:49:51,130 How much is she asking for this piece, young lady? 832 00:49:51,130 --> 00:49:53,180 I'm sure Mrs, Tarraday won't refuse 833 00:49:53,180 --> 00:49:55,230 any reasonable offer, Mr, Bernstein, 834 00:49:55,230 --> 00:49:58,050 BERNSTEIN: If she'd offer me the pair together, 835 00:49:58,050 --> 00:50:00,080 I could give her a good price, 836 00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,190 The pair of them together would be very valuable, 837 00:50:02,190 --> 00:50:05,230 Very valuable, I can tell you, 838 00:50:05,230 --> 00:50:09,110 It's a pity she isn't offering the pair of them, 839 00:50:09,110 --> 00:50:10,170 Yes, isn't it? 840 00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:12,050 A great pity, 841 00:50:21,030 --> 00:50:24,020 ( music playing ) 58985

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