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( music playing )
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ANNOUNCER:
Starring tonight,
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Bill Bixby,
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Carol Lynley,
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Steve Forrest,
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00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,110
Donna Douglas,
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Albert Salmi,
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Gilbert Roland,
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00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,050
Lex Barker,
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Buddy Ebsen,
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00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:44,200
and Jim Davis,
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00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:53,140
Felicitations and greetings
from this cavern of canvases,
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00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:56,050
dedicated and devoted
to bringing you art lovers
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00:00:56,050 --> 00:00:58,170
a few in-depth probes
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00:00:58,170 --> 00:01:00,230
through the crust
of the not quite real,
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the almost real,
and the frankly
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and flagrantly unreal,
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Pictures, paintings, portraits,
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rendered onto canvas
with brush
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and sometimes claw,
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Item number one,
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in a $12,50 pine box
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reposes the body
of a frontier Franky,
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armed but disarming,
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a victim of an Old West
philosophy
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that any man with a good eye,
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a limber finger,
and a well-honed trigger
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00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:33,220
skirts the pastures
of immortality,
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00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:36,080
But this chap found out
the hard way
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00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,230
that immortality is a wish,
a word,
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but infrequently
a reality,
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He awaits your pleasure
in a painting we call
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"The Waiting Room,"
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( rope creaking )
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( horse neighing )
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( wind blowing )
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( spurs jingling )
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00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,190
Whiskey,
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00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:24,425
Leave it,
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00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,050
You always this busy?
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00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:32,160
More or less,
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00:03:34,190 --> 00:03:36,200
Any less you could plant
this place in winter wheat
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and open it up for grazing,
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( clock ticking )
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Well, don't let me cramp
you, gentlemen,
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00:03:53,070 --> 00:03:54,160
Go ahead and play,
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00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,160
You're not stopping us,
Mr, Dichter,
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You know me?
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SOAMES:
The eminent Samuel Dichter,
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past master of the six-gun,
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00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:07,160
the lightning draw,
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00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:10,090
and a devilish deadly aim,
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You're known, Mr, Dichter,
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DICHTER:
You got the advantage,
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00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,000
( Bennett chuckles )
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00:04:20,050 --> 00:04:21,080
Is something funny?
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00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,050
SOAMES:
Sad funny, Mr, Dichter,
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00:04:23,050 --> 00:04:27,050
that you should think
we had the advantage,
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00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:28,140
There's no advantage here,
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00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:30,050
particularly to you,
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00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,080
I'm betting, gentlemen,
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00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:44,170
Who's that Johnny
I seen strung up on the hill?
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00:04:44,170 --> 00:04:47,090
Some gunner,
A killer,
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00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:49,150
Did he have a name?
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00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:54,070
If he did,
it's no use to him now,
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00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:57,040
Did you go up there
and watch it?
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00:04:58,110 --> 00:04:59,120
What'd you say?
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00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:03,010
The hanging,
did you watch them do it?
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00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:05,020
Things like that, uh,
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00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:07,030
don't give me any pleasure,
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00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:10,140
Well, it never bothered me,
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00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:12,040
As a matter of fact,
if they kick a little,
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00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,020
squirm around and take
their time doing it,
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00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:16,230
well, brother,
they don't bother me a bit,
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00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:22,050
I guess there are some people
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00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:26,090
who have a taste for death,
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00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:28,110
You're looking at one, brother,
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00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,160
I got a taste for death
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00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,210
and a talent
for delivering it,
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00:05:31,210 --> 00:05:35,170
( clock chiming )
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00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,220
SOAMES:
It's 9:00, Mr, McKinley,
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( clock ticking )
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It's that hour,
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00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,070
DICHTER: You want me to, uh,
take your hand?
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00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:27,050
McKINLEY: Whatever's
your pleasure, Mr, Dichter,
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00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:31,070
DICHTER:
I meant till you come back,
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00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:33,200
SOAMES: He won't be coming
back as well you know,
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00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,080
Mr, Dichter,
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00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:40,070
As well I know?
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00:06:40,070 --> 00:06:42,230
Mister, you don't make
a hell of a lot of sense,
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00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:44,110
I don't know who
he is or where he's going
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00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:47,010
or what the name
of this town is,
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00:06:47,010 --> 00:06:48,170
I'm cold and bone tired,
and I saw the lights,
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00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:50,010
and I come in here
to get warm,
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00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,020
Now, what else
am I supposed to know?
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00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,160
You know me, Sam,
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00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,220
or at least you used to,
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00:07:00,190 --> 00:07:03,030
McKinley,
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00:07:03,030 --> 00:07:05,060
Why, Charlie McKinley,
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00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:09,060
The word was that you was,,,
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00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:11,230
bushwhacked outside
a saloon in Abilene,
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Shot the back
of your head off,
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00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:15,180
That was the word, huh?
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00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:18,040
Yeah,
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00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,070
Well, it's nice to see
you walking and warm, Charlie,
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00:07:21,070 --> 00:07:22,120
I'm relieved,
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00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,160
Are you for a fact, Sam?
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00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:29,010
Well, just don't get too warm
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00:07:29,010 --> 00:07:30,040
or too relieved,
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( gunshot )
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00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:50,030
SOAMES: Where
are you going, Mr, Dichter?
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00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,220
You got no ears?
You didn't hear that?
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BRISTOL:
We heard,
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00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,040
Are you just gonna sit there?
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00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,100
BENNETT: We're gonna sit
right here, Mr, Dichter,
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00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,220
You're not going out there
and see what happened?
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00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:07,170
SOAMES:
We know what happened,
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Man just got the back
of his head blown off,
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00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,190
I happen to be a,,,
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physician,
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00:08:18,110 --> 00:08:21,000
And I can tell you
unequivocally,,,
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00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:25,040
the net result
of a shotgun well-aimed
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00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,190
at the back of a man's head,
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00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:29,170
Instantaneous death,
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00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:32,220
Mr, McKinley has no need
of anything right now,
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00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,010
except one shovel,,,
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00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:38,140
one gravedigger,
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00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:41,130
two strong men
to tote a pine box,
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00:08:41,130 --> 00:08:43,050
and six feet of earth,
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00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:48,180
( rain falling )
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00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,190
SOAMES: Care to join us now,
Mr, Dichter?
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00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,040
BRISTOL: There's your hand,
Mr, Dichter,
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00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,230
Jacks or better to open,
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00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:33,160
- Well?
- Patience, brother,
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00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,080
I got to make damn sure
who I'm playing poker with,
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00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,070
Just old acquaintances,
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00:09:39,070 --> 00:09:41,100
and don't call me brother,
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00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,200
There's no flesh tying us,
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00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,060
for which I'm grateful,
140
00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:47,230
I'd sooner be kin
to a vulture bird,
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00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,190
I'll make the assumption
you don't know
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who you're talking to,
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00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:58,120
BRISTOL: That's
a dead wrong assumption,
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00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,020
I thought we made it
clear to you,
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00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:03,010
we know who you are,
146
00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:04,210
You're Sam Dichter,
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00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:07,090
who fancies himself
lord of the gun,
148
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,210
As we all did once,
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00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:10,190
BRISTOL: The problem
with you, Dichter,
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00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:13,070
is you got
no memory for things,
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00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,220
Fast hand,
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slow brain,
153
00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:20,010
Now dip into that muddy swamp
you call a brain
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00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,140
and try to stir up
a few recollections,
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00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,140
Bristol,
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00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,190
You're Joe Bristol,
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00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:35,020
At your service,
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00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:40,000
I got to be dead drunk,
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00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,010
or crazy,
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00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:43,120
I saw you gunned down
in Monterey,
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00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,170
I saw it!
162
00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:46,190
Maybe you were dead drunk then,
163
00:10:46,190 --> 00:10:48,120
The hell I was,
It was mid-morning,
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00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,080
hot sun, and a kid,
165
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,010
that fast gun, Auburn,
166
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:54,070
Max Auburn was his name,
167
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,020
He called you on the street,
168
00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:57,140
he took you
by a second and half,
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00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,130
You were a corpse
before you hit the ground,
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00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:02,130
( chair clatters on floor )
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00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:10,140
I know what it is,
It's,,,It's fever,
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00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:12,190
That's what's doing it,
it's fever,
173
00:11:12,190 --> 00:11:15,030
I started feeling
it this morning,
174
00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:19,030
This fever is crawling
into my mind,
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00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,210
Well, you're a doctor,
176
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:26,080
Why don't you trot out
some pills or some medicine?
177
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,220
It wouldn't do any good,
178
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,190
Take a little whiskey,
Mr, Dichter,
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00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,110
and stay out of the cold air,
180
00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:35,170
What about the medicine?
181
00:11:35,170 --> 00:11:39,090
I could prescribe,
but it's too late,
182
00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:41,130
Besides, you wouldn't
take it anyway,
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00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:42,110
Try me,
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00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,120
The prescription would be
185
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,130
for you to take off
that gun belt
186
00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:52,170
and get no closer
to lead than a pencil,
187
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:56,000
It lengthens the odds
for a full life,
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00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,170
I'm asking for medicine,
not advice,
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00:11:58,170 --> 00:12:00,100
This advice is medicine,
190
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:02,020
am I right, gentlemen?
191
00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:07,100
Are you beginning to get
the point, Mr, Dichter?
192
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:09,050
What point?
193
00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:10,080
( spits )
194
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,010
( spittoon clangs )
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00:12:12,010 --> 00:12:14,050
It's his gun hand
that's fast, not his brain,
196
00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:16,150
All right, Bristol,,,
197
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,210
you better stand up
and say that to me,
198
00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:36,060
( clock chiming )
199
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,220
SOAMES:
It's 10:00, Mr, Bristol,
200
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:55,220
I believe that's your hour,
201
00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:59,160
( clock ticking )
202
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,220
I reckon that's the case,
203
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:18,000
Where do you think
you're going?
204
00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:21,140
Out into the hot sun,
205
00:13:22,220 --> 00:13:24,160
The hot sun?
206
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,140
You hear what he said?
207
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,030
He's going out in the hot sun,
208
00:13:31,030 --> 00:13:33,040
( laughing )
209
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,120
Mr, Bristol's going out
into the hot sun,
210
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,080
( laughing )
211
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,230
Well, let me tell you,
212
00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:41,070
I ain't the only one around
here with a fever,
213
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,010
I'll tell you
what's out there,
214
00:13:43,010 --> 00:13:44,200
pitch black and icy cold,
215
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,050
You're gonna have to ride
south to Mexico
216
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:47,190
before you find the sun,
217
00:13:47,190 --> 00:13:50,110
( laughing )
218
00:13:50,110 --> 00:13:53,080
MAN:
Bristol! Joe Bristol!
219
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,190
You coming out?
220
00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:58,050
Yeah!
221
00:13:58,050 --> 00:13:59,120
I'm coming out!
222
00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:08,040
Who's out there?
223
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,140
Who's calling you?
224
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:13,090
It's a fast kid,,,
225
00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:16,230
named Max Auburn,
226
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,180
SOAMES:
As you were, Mr, Dichter,
227
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:30,210
Either you understand
or you don't understand,
228
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:33,000
but don't ponder it,
229
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,210
There's nothing
you can do, Mr, Dichter,
230
00:14:34,210 --> 00:14:38,040
except play
a few hands of poker,
231
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,200
There still a pot to be won,
232
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,100
( clock ticking )
233
00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:57,060
( gunshots )
234
00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:03,210
BENNETT:
So much for Joe Bristol,
235
00:15:03,210 --> 00:15:05,220
SOAMES: Mr, Dichter,
236
00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:08,050
it's five-card draw,
237
00:15:08,050 --> 00:15:09,130
jacks or better to open,
238
00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:18,020
I know it's fever,
239
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,150
None of this is happening,
240
00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:24,010
We all got the fever,
red hot killing,
241
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,160
Still nothing?
242
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,020
I don't know what
you're talking about,
243
00:15:28,020 --> 00:15:30,080
You just don't get it,
do you?
244
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,140
I think this whole shebang
is a loony bin!
245
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,140
I think you're all crazy,
that's what I think!
246
00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:39,120
( clock chiming )
247
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,190
What's going on?
248
00:16:06,190 --> 00:16:08,080
What's happening?
249
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,200
It's my turn now, Mr, Dichter,
250
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,180
Your turn for what?
251
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:16,020
The name is Bennett,
252
00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:18,030
Abe Bennett,
253
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,100
Oh, no,
254
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,180
Banks are my specialty,,,
255
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,150
or don't you recall?
256
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:29,090
Yeah, I recall,
257
00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:32,220
You wore pearl-handled,,,
258
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:35,090
BENNETT: That's right,
259
00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:36,220
Honed-down trigger,
260
00:16:38,070 --> 00:16:40,110
Just a whoosh
and a little breeze
261
00:16:40,110 --> 00:16:41,120
could pull it,
262
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,010
My pride, Mr, Dichter,
263
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,200
until one day in Tombstone,
264
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,130
after I put a two-foot hole
265
00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:50,170
in a 70 year-old bank teller,
266
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:55,120
Oh, I got the bill
from the fiddler, all right,,,
267
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,090
for all the music I had played
and all the dancing,
268
00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,120
You ever hear
what happened?
269
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:08,220
I know something about,,,
270
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:10,100
something about a church,
271
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,140
The belfry,
272
00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:17,170
They were waiting outside
the bank for me,
273
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,170
I ran into this little church,
274
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:22,100
climbed the ladder,
275
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:25,040
and the minute
I stuck my head up,
276
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:29,200
there was one smart deputy
with a rifle
277
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,230
and the eyes of an eagle,
278
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:37,200
I went over the side,
hanging on the bell rope,
279
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,110
and I set 'em to ringin',
280
00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:44,220
They rang all the way down,
281
00:17:44,220 --> 00:17:46,140
and they were still ringing
when they threw me
282
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,040
on the back of a horse,
283
00:17:50,050 --> 00:17:52,020
Me and my pearl-handled Colt
284
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:54,130
and 20 bucks in greenbacks,
285
00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:56,190
Twenty bucks, Mr, Dichter,
286
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:04,190
That's what I risked a life
and took a life for,
287
00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:13,000
Cheap morning, all around,
288
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000
Where are you going?
289
00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:19,190
Damn your eyes, Dichter,
290
00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:22,070
Your wits slog along
like crippled mule, don't they?
291
00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:24,120
Where am I going?
292
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,050
I'm going out to a bank
in Tombstone,
293
00:18:27,050 --> 00:18:30,170
then I'm going up
to a belfry in a little church,
294
00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:32,180
and then I'm gonna drop
50 feet down
295
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:36,080
to a dusty street
with a bullet
296
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,140
between my eyes
and the sound of bells,
297
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:50,220
( clock ticking )
298
00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:52,140
( gunshot )
299
00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:55,070
( church bells ringing )
300
00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:04,110
Some of the pieces
beginning to fall into place,
301
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:05,110
Mr, Dichter?
302
00:19:07,050 --> 00:19:09,030
The point looking
a little clearer?
303
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:12,030
What point?
304
00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:14,100
The point,
305
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:16,210
We, all of us,
306
00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:20,000
made a vow with a gun,
307
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:24,020
A Colt ,45
till death do us part,
308
00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:27,000
I stayed on the clean side,
309
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,210
Took care of the boys
that used a gun,
310
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,190
Old Doc Soames,
311
00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:35,170
your friendly slug remover,
312
00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:39,060
Bring me any carcass
with one breath left in it
313
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:44,210
and, for a price,
I would gouge out the lead
314
00:19:44,210 --> 00:19:47,100
and make you run again
315
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,020
and shoot again
316
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:51,080
and kill again,
317
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,160
Right up until the end,
318
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:58,010
these fingers never
pulled a trigger,
319
00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:00,130
They were skilled and trained
320
00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:03,230
and educated
in the art of surgery,
321
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,140
A gift from God,
322
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:11,070
And then one
conscience-stricken day,
323
00:20:11,070 --> 00:20:14,000
when I toted up
324
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,120
the killers
that I had saved,
325
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:18,020
I suddenly realized,
326
00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:20,090
I had spit in God's eye,
327
00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:24,060
For for every patient
that I counted,
328
00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:26,200
I counted at least one victim,
329
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,080
Every man I saved
330
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,080
had gone out
and killed again,
331
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,070
What does the Bible
say about, uh,,,
332
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:38,220
he who lives by the sword
333
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:41,090
shall die by the sword,
334
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:44,220
Update that, Mr, Dichter,
335
00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:46,080
make it a gun,
336
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:50,040
( clock chiming )
337
00:21:11,050 --> 00:21:14,140
( clock ticking )
338
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:16,070
And then one night,
339
00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:18,150
I walked into my office,,,
340
00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:22,050
I pulled open the drawer
341
00:21:22,050 --> 00:21:23,230
and took out a gun,
342
00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:31,030
Blue steel symbol
of my professional skill,
343
00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:35,140
That long barreled deity that
344
00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:39,040
you and I have worshipped
for so long,,,
345
00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:42,100
and I turned it on myself,
346
00:21:48,110 --> 00:21:50,110
The point is, Mr, Dichter,
347
00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:52,120
the illusive point,,,
348
00:21:53,140 --> 00:21:56,160
is that we,
349
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,210
all of us were doomed,,,
350
00:22:00,050 --> 00:22:03,070
from the moment
we took up firearms,
351
00:22:03,070 --> 00:22:05,170
( clock ticking )
352
00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:11,130
I'm not doomed!
353
00:22:15,020 --> 00:22:16,200
I've still got a right hand,
354
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,050
I can outdraw any man alive,
355
00:22:18,050 --> 00:22:19,190
I got a talent for it!
356
00:22:19,190 --> 00:22:22,190
You had a talent for it,
Mr, Dichter,
357
00:22:24,170 --> 00:22:26,180
Do I have to ask you again?
358
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:28,130
What are you talking about?
359
00:22:28,130 --> 00:22:32,020
Just how did you figure it,
Mr, Dichter,
360
00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:35,020
that you were immortal?
361
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:36,180
That after every gunfight,
362
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:39,230
the victim was dragged away
through the bloody sand,
363
00:22:39,230 --> 00:22:41,180
and you walked
to the bar and had a drink?
364
00:22:41,180 --> 00:22:43,140
Is that the way
you figured it?
365
00:22:43,140 --> 00:22:46,030
It never happened any other way!
366
00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:49,200
Until that unfortunate moment
367
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,100
when somebody appears,
368
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:54,170
somebody younger,
369
00:22:54,170 --> 00:22:57,050
quicker, faster,
370
00:22:57,050 --> 00:22:59,180
tougher, deadlier,
371
00:23:01,060 --> 00:23:06,050
That moment which
Mr, Bennett perceived
372
00:23:06,050 --> 00:23:08,120
when you have to pay the bill,
373
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:13,060
That bill
now due and payable,,,
374
00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:16,210
for yours truly,
375
00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:26,200
( gunshot )
376
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,030
What's the name of this town?
Where is it?
377
00:23:35,030 --> 00:23:36,050
What is it?
378
00:23:36,050 --> 00:23:39,030
It's just a,,,
379
00:23:39,030 --> 00:23:42,170
just a waiting room,
Mr, Dichter,
380
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:45,180
where each men waits out
what is ordained,
381
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,210
Some call it, uh,,,
382
00:23:49,210 --> 00:23:51,000
hell,
383
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,090
Why, you don't make
no sense, either,
384
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,130
Fill it,
385
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,100
I'm afraid
there's no more time,
386
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,200
( clock chimes )
387
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,090
( ticking )
388
00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:14,130
DICHTER:
I need a drink,
389
00:24:14,130 --> 00:24:16,140
You want a drink,
Mr, Dichter,
390
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,070
You don't need it,
391
00:24:20,090 --> 00:24:22,110
It's, uh,,,
392
00:24:22,110 --> 00:24:24,080
It's your time now,
393
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,110
My time,
394
00:24:26,110 --> 00:24:30,180
Mister, I got no appointment
with anybody anywhere,
395
00:24:30,180 --> 00:24:33,010
but I'll tell what you need,
396
00:24:33,010 --> 00:24:35,230
You need to get
that clock fixed,
397
00:24:35,230 --> 00:24:37,160
Now, you give me another
drink or you're gonna be
398
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,210
the coldest bartender
east of California,
399
00:24:39,210 --> 00:24:43,170
( crowd shouting )
400
00:24:43,170 --> 00:24:44,210
What's that?
401
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,170
That would be
the voices of the jury,
402
00:25:08,170 --> 00:25:12,130
the people who passed
judgment on you
403
00:25:12,130 --> 00:25:15,020
after your last kill,
404
00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:17,150
They're outside,
405
00:25:17,150 --> 00:25:19,040
waiting,
406
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,200
( crowd shouting )
407
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,160
It's closing time,
408
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,000
Mr, Dichter,
409
00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:52,050
No doubt,
410
00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:54,050
I will be seeing you again,
411
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:58,210
You won't be seeing me again,
412
00:25:58,210 --> 00:25:59,230
I don't like the place,
413
00:25:59,230 --> 00:26:01,020
the drink,
414
00:26:01,020 --> 00:26:02,130
or the company,
415
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,100
You won't be seeing me,
416
00:26:09,090 --> 00:26:11,230
( crowd shouting )
417
00:26:17,070 --> 00:26:20,070
( ticking )
418
00:26:20,070 --> 00:26:23,030
I'll be seeing you again,,,
419
00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:26,080
Mr, Dichter
420
00:26:27,130 --> 00:26:30,010
( rope creaking )
421
00:26:43,150 --> 00:26:46,010
- Aah!
- ( horse whinnying )
422
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,220
( clock ticking )
423
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,190
( clock chiming )
424
00:27:42,180 --> 00:27:46,150
( chiming grows louder )
425
00:27:57,170 --> 00:28:00,050
To those amongst you
with a predilection
426
00:28:00,050 --> 00:28:02,070
toward antique collection,
427
00:28:02,070 --> 00:28:05,000
or the occasional bargain-
hunting that takes place
428
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,070
in out-of-the-way nooks
and stalls,
429
00:28:07,070 --> 00:28:10,020
this painting suggests
a certain required wariness
430
00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:11,220
when it comes to your shopping,
431
00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:13,120
because there are moments
432
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,060
when behind some dusty book
433
00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:16,170
or in a cobwebbed corner
434
00:28:16,170 --> 00:28:18,090
of an ancient vestibule,
435
00:28:18,090 --> 00:28:20,070
you'll uncover
a little objet d'art
436
00:28:20,070 --> 00:28:22,170
which can horrify
the heck out of you,
437
00:28:22,170 --> 00:28:25,020
such being the case
in this painting,
438
00:28:25,020 --> 00:28:26,220
when a lady
goes junking about
439
00:28:26,220 --> 00:28:29,000
and uncovers
a mythological statue
440
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,180
that has lived past its time
441
00:28:30,180 --> 00:28:33,010
and intrudes on hers,
442
00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:34,120
We call the painting
443
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:37,090
"The Last Rites
for a Dead Druid,"
444
00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:40,070
( music playing )
445
00:28:43,210 --> 00:28:46,180
( clock ticking )
446
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,050
MILDRED: Jenny!
447
00:29:05,050 --> 00:29:06,140
Jenny, you've got to come
448
00:29:06,140 --> 00:29:08,000
and take a look at this,
449
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,010
What did you find, Mildred?
450
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:13,070
Oh, dear God,
451
00:29:13,070 --> 00:29:14,110
MILDRED: Three guesses,
452
00:29:14,110 --> 00:29:15,200
Three?
453
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,190
Who needs three?
454
00:29:17,190 --> 00:29:19,150
It's Bruce!
455
00:29:19,150 --> 00:29:21,030
MILDRED: In his bathrobe,
456
00:29:21,030 --> 00:29:22,090
Oh, Jenny,
you've got to buy it!
457
00:29:22,090 --> 00:29:23,160
JENNY:
Oh, he'll have a fit,
458
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,120
MILDRED:
Oh, no, he'll love it,
459
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,090
He'll tell everybody
it's his great-grandfather,
460
00:29:27,090 --> 00:29:29,010
I wonder how much it costs?
461
00:29:29,010 --> 00:29:31,060
Mr, Bernstein?
462
00:29:31,060 --> 00:29:34,060
Did you call me, Mrs, Tarraday?
463
00:29:34,060 --> 00:29:36,080
JENNY: Mr, Bernstein,
Miss McVane and I
464
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,070
were wondering
about this statue,
465
00:29:38,070 --> 00:29:40,060
- Oh,
- Yeah,
466
00:29:40,060 --> 00:29:42,220
That's a very fine piece,
467
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,010
There's a story connected
with this piece, ladies,
468
00:29:48,010 --> 00:29:49,090
What's the story?
469
00:29:49,090 --> 00:29:50,190
I don't know the story,
470
00:29:50,190 --> 00:29:52,150
But how can
it not have a story?
471
00:29:52,150 --> 00:29:53,170
Look at it,
472
00:29:53,170 --> 00:29:54,190
Well, how much is it?
473
00:29:54,190 --> 00:29:56,100
BERNSTEIN:
How much is it?
474
00:29:56,100 --> 00:30:00,000
Uh, considering the
craftsmanship and material,,,
475
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,130
What is the material?
476
00:30:01,130 --> 00:30:03,020
I couldn't tell you,
477
00:30:03,020 --> 00:30:05,230
It isn't marble,
Feel it, it's rough,
478
00:30:05,230 --> 00:30:08,090
And it isn't limestone
because it don't chip,
479
00:30:08,090 --> 00:30:10,200
I don't know this stone,
480
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,060
It's weird stone,
I can tell you,
481
00:30:13,060 --> 00:30:14,070
JENNY:
Well, where'd you get it?
482
00:30:14,070 --> 00:30:15,150
BERNSTEIN: It was here,
483
00:30:15,150 --> 00:30:17,210
Ten years ago
when I bought the store
484
00:30:17,210 --> 00:30:19,120
and the stock
from Pelham & Grogan,
485
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,010
it was standing in the back,
486
00:30:21,010 --> 00:30:23,190
I brought him in here,
How much is it?
487
00:30:23,190 --> 00:30:25,200
How can I tell you
how much it is?
488
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,140
Some days, I look at it,
489
00:30:27,140 --> 00:30:29,040
and I say to myself,
490
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:31,220
"I'll give him away
to the first customer
491
00:30:31,220 --> 00:30:34,010
who's strong enough
to lift him,"
492
00:30:34,010 --> 00:30:37,040
Other days,
I look at him and I say,
493
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:40,070
"You're a nice piece,
whatever you are,"
494
00:30:40,070 --> 00:30:42,160
"You could bring a good profit
495
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,110
in the hands
of the right party,"
496
00:30:44,110 --> 00:30:48,130
Hmm, What are you telling
yourself today, Mr, Bernstein?
497
00:30:48,130 --> 00:30:50,180
Today, I'm telling myself,
498
00:30:50,180 --> 00:30:52,140
"I just bought
a bedroom suite
499
00:30:52,140 --> 00:30:55,110
"from an estate they're settling
"in Beverly Hills,
500
00:30:55,110 --> 00:30:57,040
and I could use the space,"
501
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,210
75 bucks,
502
00:30:58,210 --> 00:31:01,060
Oh, Jenny, take it,
503
00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:03,040
He looks just like
Miss Tarraday's husband,
504
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,010
You couldn't have told me
that sooner, young lady?
505
00:31:06,010 --> 00:31:08,020
I'd have asked a hundred,
506
00:31:10,210 --> 00:31:12,130
It was a steal, darling,
507
00:31:12,130 --> 00:31:13,200
BRUCE:
Ah, which of you was the thief?
508
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,010
$75 to Mr, Bernstein
509
00:31:16,010 --> 00:31:17,160
and $5,00 to his nephew
510
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,010
who has a pickup truck,
511
00:31:19,010 --> 00:31:20,170
It was Mildred who found it,
512
00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:22,210
Hmm, I see,
513
00:31:22,210 --> 00:31:23,230
I didn't know it was lost,
514
00:31:23,230 --> 00:31:25,010
Well, look at it,
515
00:31:25,010 --> 00:31:26,030
Mm-hmm,
516
00:31:26,030 --> 00:31:27,150
I am,
517
00:31:27,150 --> 00:31:31,020
Well, look closer,
Who does it remind you of?
518
00:31:31,020 --> 00:31:32,180
Who does it
remind me of?
519
00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:34,140
- JENNY: Yes,
- BRUCE: Look, Jenny,
520
00:31:34,140 --> 00:31:36,110
I hope you aren't gonna try
521
00:31:36,110 --> 00:31:38,120
and tell me you think
you might have found
522
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,210
some lost Bernini
in a Redondo Beach junkshop,
523
00:31:41,210 --> 00:31:44,160
Bruce, it isn't the artist
that it reminds me of,
524
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,190
What subject?
525
00:31:46,190 --> 00:31:48,070
BRUCE: Subject?
526
00:31:48,070 --> 00:31:49,150
JENNY: Yes, See?
527
00:31:49,150 --> 00:31:50,220
Why do you think I bought it?
528
00:31:50,220 --> 00:31:52,180
Well, I think you bought it
529
00:31:52,180 --> 00:31:54,040
because you keep forgetting
530
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,220
that your brainless friend,
Mildred McVane,
531
00:31:55,220 --> 00:31:58,150
has a thousand dollars a week
alimony to live on
532
00:31:58,150 --> 00:32:00,100
and can spend 50% of it
533
00:32:00,100 --> 00:32:02,100
on useless knickknacks
like this,
534
00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:05,080
while your husband is
only a seventh junior partner
535
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,150
in a law firm that has
only seven junior partners,
536
00:32:08,150 --> 00:32:10,090
- and earns approximately,,,
- JENNY: I bought it
537
00:32:10,090 --> 00:32:12,050
because it looks like you,
538
00:32:13,220 --> 00:32:15,000
Objection,
539
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,090
Overruled,
540
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,190
I thought you were asleep,
darling,
541
00:32:24,190 --> 00:32:27,220
BRUCE:
I don't look like him,
542
00:32:27,220 --> 00:32:29,110
Mildred, noticed it first,
543
00:32:29,110 --> 00:32:31,010
- Mildred?
- Mm-hmm,
544
00:32:31,010 --> 00:32:35,050
Oh,,,Mildred,
545
00:32:35,050 --> 00:32:40,070
That female is noticeably
more noticed than noticing,
546
00:32:40,070 --> 00:32:42,140
- That's very well put, darling,
- Thank you,
547
00:32:42,140 --> 00:32:44,130
You know,
that Bellicose and Brady,
548
00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:45,160
Dennison and Daws,
549
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:46,170
Entworth and Fox
550
00:32:46,170 --> 00:32:48,030
knew what they were doing
551
00:32:48,030 --> 00:32:51,020
when they added Tarraday
to their front door,
552
00:32:51,020 --> 00:32:53,110
Mm-hmm,
Not anything like him,
553
00:32:53,110 --> 00:32:55,040
- Yeah?
- Yeah,
554
00:33:01,140 --> 00:33:05,060
( music playing )
555
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,130
( lamp clicks )
556
00:33:37,130 --> 00:33:39,040
Aah! Aah!
557
00:33:40,070 --> 00:33:44,010
Aah! Aah! Aah!
558
00:33:44,010 --> 00:33:46,200
( gasps )
559
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,220
( Bruce whimpering )
560
00:33:49,220 --> 00:33:51,090
Bruce, wake up,
561
00:33:51,090 --> 00:33:53,150
Wake up, Bruce,
562
00:33:53,150 --> 00:33:56,000
Bruce, wake up!
You're dreaming! Bruce,
563
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,130
( whimpering )
564
00:33:58,130 --> 00:34:00,230
Bruce, what--what were you
dreaming about?
565
00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:12,080
I'm a complete non-believer
566
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,210
when it comes to witchcraft,
567
00:34:13,210 --> 00:34:15,080
the casting of evil spells
568
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:16,110
and things of that matter,
569
00:34:16,110 --> 00:34:20,100
but at this particular moment,
570
00:34:20,100 --> 00:34:22,150
it would give me
absolute pleasure
571
00:34:22,150 --> 00:34:24,160
to have a replica
572
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,130
of Mildred McVane
to stick pins into,
573
00:34:27,130 --> 00:34:29,160
And when I was finished
with her,
574
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,140
one glass of water
would turn her
575
00:34:31,140 --> 00:34:32,180
into a water sprinkler,
576
00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:34,080
Bruce!
577
00:34:39,170 --> 00:34:41,050
Good morning, Mrs, Stanley,
578
00:34:41,050 --> 00:34:43,080
Good morning, Marta,
Isn't Mr, Tarraday here?
579
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,100
He went out
into the garden, ma'am,
580
00:34:45,100 --> 00:34:47,090
Oh, Well, you can start
breakfast now,
581
00:34:47,090 --> 00:34:48,170
Yes, ma'am,
582
00:34:48,170 --> 00:34:51,140
Bruce! Breakfast is ready!
583
00:34:51,140 --> 00:34:53,070
Coming, dear,
584
00:35:08,060 --> 00:35:09,150
BRUCE: Really?
585
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:22,060
Mr, Tarraday,
of course, of course,
586
00:35:22,060 --> 00:35:24,080
Your wife, Mrs, Tarraday,
587
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:25,200
is one of my customers here,
588
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,120
She's bought some
fine pieces here,
589
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,150
- Very fine pieces,
- Yes, yes,
590
00:35:29,150 --> 00:35:31,160
It's a pleasure
to know you, sir,
591
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,040
Well, it's very nice to
meet you, too, Mr, Bernstein,
592
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:38,230
Um, it is about one of those
fine pieces that I am here,
593
00:35:38,230 --> 00:35:40,080
A statue?
594
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,190
Ah, the drood,
595
00:35:41,190 --> 00:35:43,100
Drood? What is a drood?
596
00:35:43,100 --> 00:35:45,110
Actually,
it says on the picture,
597
00:35:45,110 --> 00:35:47,010
it's not drood,
598
00:35:47,010 --> 00:35:48,170
It's pre-drood,
599
00:35:48,170 --> 00:35:50,160
We haven't cleared this up,
600
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,110
Wait, You'll see,
601
00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:55,180
You could call it
a very funny coincidence,
602
00:35:55,180 --> 00:35:58,180
but on the very same day
when your wife was here
603
00:35:58,180 --> 00:36:00,080
with her pretty young friend,,,
604
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,120
Oh, pretty young friend,
605
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,100
A knockabout,
let me tell you,
606
00:36:04,100 --> 00:36:06,110
Hmm, listen to me,
607
00:36:06,110 --> 00:36:10,080
Oh, if I was only 50 again,
608
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,020
But, of course,
if I was 50 again,
609
00:36:13,020 --> 00:36:18,020
Mrs, Bernstein
would be 47 again, so,,,
610
00:36:18,020 --> 00:36:20,100
Anyway, later in the day,
611
00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:22,010
a customer comes in,
612
00:36:22,010 --> 00:36:25,060
and he wants to buy
the rolltop desk here,
613
00:36:25,060 --> 00:36:27,070
- A fine piece,,,
- ( pounds desk )
614
00:36:27,070 --> 00:36:29,040
solid wood,
615
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,090
As soon as my nephew shows up
with the pick-up truck, uh,,,
616
00:36:32,090 --> 00:36:34,180
So while I'm cleaning out
the drawers
617
00:36:34,180 --> 00:36:37,120
to get it ready for my customer,
618
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,010
what do you think I find inside,
619
00:36:40,010 --> 00:36:43,070
where I haven't even peeked
since I bought the entire stock
620
00:36:43,070 --> 00:36:46,180
from Pelham & Grogan
10 years ago,
621
00:36:46,180 --> 00:36:48,110
but a complete set of books
622
00:36:48,110 --> 00:36:52,050
with photographs
of all the merchandise,
623
00:36:52,050 --> 00:36:57,060
And what do you think I find
in one of the books
624
00:36:57,060 --> 00:36:59,100
but a picture
of the very statue
625
00:36:59,100 --> 00:37:01,070
your wife, Mrs, Tarraday,
626
00:37:01,070 --> 00:37:03,040
bought earlier in the day,,,
627
00:37:04,070 --> 00:37:05,230
and was asking about,
628
00:37:05,230 --> 00:37:08,170
but I couldn't say,
because I didn't know,
629
00:37:08,170 --> 00:37:10,130
It's typewritten on the back,
630
00:37:10,130 --> 00:37:12,000
everything about it,
631
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,190
See? What did I tell you?
632
00:37:14,190 --> 00:37:16,040
Pre-drood,
633
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,190
That's "druid,"
634
00:37:17,190 --> 00:37:19,110
( clock chiming )
635
00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:21,000
So, druid,
636
00:37:22,180 --> 00:37:24,090
Tell me something,
637
00:37:25,180 --> 00:37:27,090
What is this?
638
00:37:28,210 --> 00:37:31,020
Oh, that, uh,,,
639
00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:32,220
I'm very sorry about,
640
00:37:32,220 --> 00:37:35,100
But when I sold it
to your wife, Mrs, Tarraday,
641
00:37:35,100 --> 00:37:38,030
I didn't know
that feature was missing,
642
00:37:38,030 --> 00:37:41,020
I don't like to sell
defective goods,
643
00:37:41,020 --> 00:37:44,140
It gives the business
a bad name,
644
00:37:44,140 --> 00:37:46,140
But if you're dissatisfied,
645
00:37:46,140 --> 00:37:49,100
I could give you back
$10 on the cost,
646
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:52,040
What? No,
No, no, that's, uh,,,
647
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,010
That's all right,
Mr, Bernstein,
648
00:37:54,010 --> 00:37:55,140
Doesn't make any difference,
649
00:37:55,140 --> 00:37:58,060
"A statue, sculptor unknown,
of hooded monk,
650
00:37:58,060 --> 00:38:00,010
"attributed to early pre-druid
651
00:38:00,010 --> 00:38:01,200
"or possibly
latter Cambrian order
652
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,210
"of secret and cabalistic
priesthood of Midlothian,
653
00:38:04,210 --> 00:38:06,140
"possibly that of its leader,
654
00:38:06,140 --> 00:38:10,160
the later defrocked abbot
Penicuik Cathedral,
655
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:13,060
"Father Balimaster,
656
00:38:13,060 --> 00:38:17,080
referred to
as Bruce the Black,"
657
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,150
JENNY: There!
658
00:38:19,150 --> 00:38:21,120
What is "there"
supposed to mean?
659
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,160
Well, Mildred said
that you would claim him
660
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,070
as a great-great-grandfather,
661
00:38:25,070 --> 00:38:28,150
Oh, I would rather claim Mildred
as a third cousin,
662
00:38:28,150 --> 00:38:30,160
Well, you're about to claim her
663
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,210
as a dinner guest
in about a half an hour,
664
00:38:32,210 --> 00:38:34,100
Oh, no,
665
00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:36,070
JENNY: Mmm, You'd better
start the barbeque,
666
00:38:36,070 --> 00:38:39,060
What else does it say
about him, huh?
667
00:38:39,060 --> 00:38:43,020
Well, enough to suggest
668
00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:46,010
that you may not have been
as delighted
669
00:38:46,010 --> 00:38:47,220
as you might have imagined
670
00:38:47,220 --> 00:38:51,020
had I really been descended
from Bruce the Black,
671
00:38:51,020 --> 00:38:54,220
It seems he practiced sorcery,
672
00:38:54,220 --> 00:38:56,080
- Hmm?
- BRUCE: Yes,
673
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,180
And the religious ceremonies
674
00:38:57,180 --> 00:39:01,030
of his particular order
were purely satanic,
675
00:39:01,030 --> 00:39:03,140
and the worshipers
followed their leaders'
676
00:39:03,140 --> 00:39:06,130
habit of debauchery and rapine,
677
00:39:06,130 --> 00:39:09,160
as well as sacrifices,
678
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:13,000
both animal and human,
679
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:16,020
on equinoxial celebrations,
680
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:17,190
I mean, that is, um,
681
00:39:17,190 --> 00:39:20,040
according to what
it states here,
682
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,190
"to the 18th edition
of the Maleficarum
683
00:39:23,190 --> 00:39:25,050
"later deleted,
684
00:39:25,050 --> 00:39:27,210
"he maintained his primacy
among his order
685
00:39:27,210 --> 00:39:30,150
"of fellow murderers
and immoralists
686
00:39:30,150 --> 00:39:32,010
"by the power
687
00:39:32,010 --> 00:39:36,010
"of turning
any would-be attackers
688
00:39:36,010 --> 00:39:38,080
into stone,"
689
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,140
But you don't believe
in sorcery,
690
00:39:41,140 --> 00:39:44,090
Any more than
I believe in sacrifices,
691
00:39:44,090 --> 00:39:46,010
whether animal or human,
692
00:39:46,010 --> 00:39:48,060
or murder, or adultery,
693
00:39:48,060 --> 00:39:50,010
or worshiping the devil,
694
00:39:50,010 --> 00:39:52,110
But I do believe
that I would not have been
695
00:39:52,110 --> 00:39:54,090
any happier had I found out
696
00:39:54,090 --> 00:39:56,050
that Bruce the Black
was an ancestor,
697
00:39:56,050 --> 00:39:57,220
then he would be to find
698
00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:59,180
that I was a descendant,
699
00:39:59,180 --> 00:40:01,160
I will make the barbeque,
700
00:40:24,060 --> 00:40:26,030
Ow! Darn it!
701
00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:49,160
You are a piece
702
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,140
of not particularly
well-executed
703
00:40:52,140 --> 00:40:54,230
and totally worthless rock,
704
00:40:54,230 --> 00:40:56,130
You are not,
705
00:40:56,130 --> 00:40:59,200
and have never been
a salacious sorcerer
706
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,170
or a pre-druidical priest
named Bruce the Black,
707
00:41:02,170 --> 00:41:05,160
who I'm sure never existed
in the first place,
708
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:08,220
You are nothing whatever
except ugly
709
00:41:08,220 --> 00:41:15,010
and bearing absolutely
no resemblance to me at all,
710
00:41:15,010 --> 00:41:18,060
You have no power,
711
00:41:18,060 --> 00:41:21,200
You can't move,
712
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,020
and you neither impress,,,
713
00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:28,230
nor intimidate me,
714
00:41:28,230 --> 00:41:30,120
and you are going back
715
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,210
to Mr, Bernstein's junkyard,
716
00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:35,150
where you came from
and where you belong,
717
00:41:35,150 --> 00:41:38,110
MILDRED: Will you introduce me
to Bruce the Black, Bruce?
718
00:41:39,180 --> 00:41:42,180
I mean,
I met him casually before,
719
00:41:42,180 --> 00:41:45,070
If you call being present
when someone gets bought
720
00:41:45,070 --> 00:41:48,140
for $75, plus $5,00
for delivery,
721
00:41:48,140 --> 00:41:50,070
a casual meeting,
722
00:41:50,070 --> 00:41:53,010
But I didn't even know
his name then,
723
00:41:53,010 --> 00:41:57,110
so it wasn't a proper meeting
really, was it?
724
00:41:57,110 --> 00:42:00,190
How did you know
he was called Bruce the Black?
725
00:42:00,190 --> 00:42:04,000
Oh, there's nothing magic
about that,
726
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,180
I saw Jenny inside,
727
00:42:05,180 --> 00:42:08,170
Oh, yes, yes,
where is she, Jenny?
728
00:42:08,170 --> 00:42:12,010
She went upstairs
to powder her nose,
729
00:42:12,010 --> 00:42:13,190
Go on,
730
00:42:58,020 --> 00:42:59,090
I would have said something
731
00:42:59,090 --> 00:43:00,190
a good deal heavier than that,
732
00:43:27,060 --> 00:43:29,190
I suppose you'll go
to Jenny about it,
733
00:43:29,190 --> 00:43:31,110
MILDRED:
You mean, tell her?
734
00:43:31,110 --> 00:43:32,210
Yes,
735
00:43:36,060 --> 00:43:38,130
Only on one condition,
736
00:43:38,130 --> 00:43:41,050
That you don't promise
you'll never do it again,
737
00:43:41,050 --> 00:43:43,150
- Now, look,,,
- I am,
738
00:43:43,150 --> 00:43:46,130
and I'm seeing something
I never saw before,
739
00:43:46,130 --> 00:43:50,000
and I don't mind it at all,
740
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,000
Get out of here!
741
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,120
JENNY: Bruce?
Bruce, is that you?
742
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:15,150
What do you want?
743
00:44:15,150 --> 00:44:18,060
I--Who were you talking to?
744
00:44:18,060 --> 00:44:21,020
BRUCE:
Uh, nobody, just, uh,,,
745
00:44:21,020 --> 00:44:23,020
The neighbor's cat was over here
chasing some birds,
746
00:44:23,020 --> 00:44:24,070
You're gonna have
to call them about it,
747
00:44:24,070 --> 00:44:26,050
I will dear, tomorrow,
748
00:44:26,050 --> 00:44:28,050
Oh, look,
749
00:44:28,050 --> 00:44:30,100
Look at your great-grandfather,
750
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:32,040
What about him?
751
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:35,110
JENNY: Well, look what
the sunset's doing to him,
752
00:44:35,110 --> 00:44:37,090
He's got eyes,
753
00:44:43,070 --> 00:44:44,170
Jenny?
754
00:44:46,020 --> 00:44:49,030
Uh, where's Marta
with the steaks?
755
00:44:49,030 --> 00:44:50,150
The fire's almost ready,
756
00:44:50,150 --> 00:44:51,200
I'll tell her, dear,
757
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,160
( laughing diabolically )
758
00:45:25,180 --> 00:45:28,070
( laughing )
759
00:45:32,220 --> 00:45:34,200
- ( cat meows )
- Kitty,
760
00:45:36,070 --> 00:45:37,150
Here, kitty,
761
00:45:37,150 --> 00:45:40,090
( cat meowing )
762
00:45:48,010 --> 00:45:50,190
( cat yowling )
763
00:45:50,190 --> 00:45:52,080
( laughing )
764
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:54,210
( cat yowling )
765
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:06,130
Aah!
766
00:46:06,130 --> 00:46:09,040
( cat yowling )
767
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,040
Marta, what's wrong?
768
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:12,140
He,,,
769
00:46:12,140 --> 00:46:14,210
- He would cook the cat,
- What?
770
00:46:14,210 --> 00:46:16,090
You crazy old bag,
get out of here!
771
00:46:16,090 --> 00:46:17,190
JENNY: Bruce!
772
00:46:17,190 --> 00:46:19,150
I,,,
773
00:46:19,150 --> 00:46:21,120
I probably have
a very high temperature
774
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:23,080
at this time,
775
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,000
- Marta, I'm sorry,
- No, I--I pack tonight,
776
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,030
and I leave in the morning!
777
00:46:32,070 --> 00:46:36,060
Mildred, have you noticed
anything different
778
00:46:36,060 --> 00:46:37,230
about Bruce lately?
779
00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:39,150
Oh, no, honey,
780
00:46:39,150 --> 00:46:41,140
It's the same old Bruce,
781
00:46:59,050 --> 00:47:00,080
BRUCE: What do you want?
782
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,190
BRUCE THE BLACK:
Kill her,
783
00:47:01,190 --> 00:47:05,090
Kill her, then you can have
the other one,
784
00:47:05,090 --> 00:47:09,090
The beautiful gold,
and blue and emerald one,
785
00:47:09,090 --> 00:47:11,130
Kill this one,
786
00:47:11,130 --> 00:47:13,070
Kill her,
787
00:47:15,110 --> 00:47:16,170
How?
788
00:47:16,170 --> 00:47:18,150
BRUCE THE BLACK:
With your pillow,
789
00:47:18,150 --> 00:47:22,000
It's easy,
Your pillow over her face,
790
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,040
In a minute, two minutes,
that's all it takes,
791
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,220
She'll be dead,
792
00:47:27,220 --> 00:47:29,200
Think of the other one,
793
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,100
You want her,
794
00:47:31,100 --> 00:47:33,060
You've always wanted her,
795
00:47:33,060 --> 00:47:35,010
Now she'll be yours,
796
00:47:35,010 --> 00:47:37,110
But kill this one first,
797
00:47:41,070 --> 00:47:43,090
Go on, kill her,
798
00:47:43,090 --> 00:47:45,010
It's almost done,
799
00:47:45,010 --> 00:47:46,160
Then the other one,
800
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,150
the one, she'll be yours,
801
00:47:49,150 --> 00:47:51,030
She wants you, too,
802
00:47:51,030 --> 00:47:54,040
just as much as you want her,
803
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,050
Only one thing stands
in the way,
804
00:47:57,050 --> 00:47:59,110
this one,
805
00:47:59,110 --> 00:48:02,120
It's easy,
your pillow over her face,
806
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,000
Kill this one first,
807
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,110
- Your pillow over her face,
- No,
808
00:48:07,110 --> 00:48:09,040
BRUCE THE BLACK:
In a minute,
809
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:10,200
two minutes,
that's all it takes,
810
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,040
No!
811
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:13,210
BRUCE THE BLACK:
She'll be dead,
812
00:48:13,210 --> 00:48:17,010
- Kill this one first,
- No,
813
00:48:17,010 --> 00:48:20,040
( whimpering ) No,
814
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,060
No, No!
815
00:48:25,100 --> 00:48:27,060
No more of this,
816
00:48:27,060 --> 00:48:28,220
No more!
817
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:47,030
This is where it ends!
818
00:48:48,070 --> 00:48:50,030
( scream )
819
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:52,150
Bruce?
820
00:48:52,150 --> 00:48:54,120
Bruce, where are you?
821
00:48:58,140 --> 00:49:00,030
Bruce?
822
00:49:02,060 --> 00:49:03,130
Bruce?
823
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,040
Bruce?
824
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,150
( gasping )
825
00:49:10,150 --> 00:49:13,080
( screams )
826
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,110
( gasps )
827
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,140
( gasps )
828
00:49:40,030 --> 00:49:43,040
BERNSTEIN: A nice piece,
I got to admit it,
829
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,120
A very nice piece,
830
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:48,180
Good stone, fine condition,
831
00:49:48,180 --> 00:49:51,130
How much is she asking
for this piece, young lady?
832
00:49:51,130 --> 00:49:53,180
I'm sure Mrs, Tarraday
won't refuse
833
00:49:53,180 --> 00:49:55,230
any reasonable offer,
Mr, Bernstein,
834
00:49:55,230 --> 00:49:58,050
BERNSTEIN: If she'd offer me
the pair together,
835
00:49:58,050 --> 00:50:00,080
I could give her a good price,
836
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,190
The pair of them together
would be very valuable,
837
00:50:02,190 --> 00:50:05,230
Very valuable,
I can tell you,
838
00:50:05,230 --> 00:50:09,110
It's a pity she isn't offering
the pair of them,
839
00:50:09,110 --> 00:50:10,170
Yes, isn't it?
840
00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:12,050
A great pity,
841
00:50:21,030 --> 00:50:24,020
( music playing )
58985
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