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00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:06,560
In Ireland, nothing is more
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00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,680
celebrated than the
ability to banish snakes.
3
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,920
This is probably due to that
dark period in Irish history
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00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:16,120
when we had that
big snake problem.
5
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,720
Probably.
6
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,680
But as the rest of Boyle
readied itself for the St Patrick's Day parade,
7
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,680
the Moone house was instead
being lashed by the serpent's tongue of a nervous,
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00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,440
heavily
pregnant teenage bride.
9
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,680
I said rashers, what's this
sausage bullshit?
10
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:33,880
You just had rashers, love...
11
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,640
You just had rashers, love.
12
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,480
You did kind of
sound like that.
13
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,360
Okay, more rashers it is.
14
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:40,840
Can I have some rashers?
15
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,320
You're doing a very
important job there, Sinead,
16
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:43,440
you don't have
time to be eating.
17
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,120
What am I doing again?
18
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,880
You're
monitoring the temperature of the curling iron.
19
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:47,880
Ow! For fu...
20
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:48,920
Get ready, Deb.
21
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:51,720
Where's Martin?
22
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,680
This hairspray hasn't been
tested on animals yet.
23
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,480
He's outside
with his girlfriend.
24
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,480
Yeah? Martin's going out
with a traveller,
25
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,320
Fidelma's marrying a holy Joe,
so things are going great.
26
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,760
How come you have time to talk
when I have no rashers in front of me?
27
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,240
I'm sorry.
28
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,000
How come I'm on burning duty
and Trisha gets off scot-free?
29
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,280
Trisha had her fair share of
injuries when she was making Delma's dress.
30
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,760
It's a little bit plain, no?
31
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,440
This is what
brides are wearing now.
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00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,000
You don't want a meringue
in your condition.
33
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,800
I'd love a meringue right now.
34
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,840
Yeah, more food is what you
need. Seriously, Del, you're already huge.
35
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,240
A fussy dress with frills and
bows would make you look like a barge.
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00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,720
You're just too massive to...
Ow!
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00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:35,880
Your foot's on my hand!
38
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,160
Ooh, sorry!
39
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,720
Ah! Now both your
feet are on my hand!
40
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,240
As chaos reigned in the
Moone house, Martin made plans with Majella,
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00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,560
his new lady friend.
Or at least, he tried to.
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00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,640
So this is a timetable for
when you want us to hang out?
43
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,880
What can I say?
Love to plan. Always have.
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00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,520
So, tomorrow at 11:30,
45
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,680
I have us down for
some hand-holding before Geography?
46
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,640
Tomorrow? I don't know
if we'll still be here tomorrow.
47
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,720
You're a tough lady
to pin down, Majella.
48
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,240
How about you
come to the wedding reception tonight, then?
49
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,480
Tonight?
Maybe I'll be dead by then.
50
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,360
Martin!
51
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,600
Look, let's just try to keep
things loose and carefree for now, yeah?
52
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,000
Okay. That's...cool.
53
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,560
Martin, wait.
54
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:22,760
Your laces are undone.
55
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,400
I won't be tied by petty
conventions, Majella.
56
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,200
Did someone call me or is
the banshee back?
57
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,000
We're up against
it here, Martin.
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00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,440
Can you get
your breakfast down and be ready to go in 10?
59
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,200
No problemo. I'm versatile.
60
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,280
Is that a surplus
bowl of Cocoa Puffs?
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00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,720
Someone seems to think Cocoa
Puffs and Readybix are the same thing!
62
00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:47,600
- Oh, Jesus.
- Jesus.
63
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,920
Oh, Martin,
before you eat will you go and grab Delma's dress?
64
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,840
I'm happy-go-lucky,
right, Sean?
65
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,400
Hey, you're the happiest
and the go-luckiest, buddy.
66
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,400
Don't worry about Majella,
you know what women are like.
67
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,480
Do I!
68
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,560
Do I?
69
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,640
Well,
I don't, so, probably not.
70
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,760
Maybe she's right.
71
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,240
Maybe I'm just too
flippin' responsible.
72
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,560
Stupid bloody laces,
they'll be the death of me.
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00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,320
They will now.
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00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,480
Oh, balls!
75
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,440
I felt like I
almost saw it coming.
76
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,800
# Dancing at the disco,
bumper to bumper
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00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,440
# Wait a minute,
where's me jumper?
78
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,040
# Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper?
79
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:56,160
# Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper? Oh, no #
80
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,640
In a break with tradition, and rational thinking,
81
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,720
Dessie had given the job of
best man to his priest.
82
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,760
Looking tense, Father.
How's the speech?
83
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,040
All good. Still working on it.
84
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,000
I'm sure you're
going to kill it.
85
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,480
- Got any good jokes?
- Oh, yes.
86
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,800
I'm doing this whole
bit on Dessie about
87
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:21,840
the way he always shows
up for Mass quite early.
88
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,120
Yeah.
89
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,360
And...
90
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,040
That's it, really.
91
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,920
Right.
92
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,440
Do you know any
good jokes, Padraic?
93
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,400
Well, let me put
it this way, Father.
94
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,040
They don't call me the joker
just because I look like Jack Nicholson.
95
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,400
Is it...because you sometimes
wear makeup?
96
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,600
It's because I know
a lot of good jokes.
97
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,480
Oh, right.
98
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:48,920
Sorry.
99
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,080
Right, well...
100
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,960
You're on your own now, pal.
101
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,840
Come on, buddy.
We can handle this.
102
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:08,080
But I'm sleepy.
103
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,640
You can get wine
stains out with salt,
104
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,760
so what can you get chocolate
milk stains out with?
105
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,160
Pepper?
106
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,200
That's my boy.
107
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,600
Using this laundry
logic, Martin laboured to remove the Cocoa Puffs
108
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,000
with pepper, remove
the pepper with honey,
109
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,360
and remove the honey with
self-raising flour.
110
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,760
What do we use to
remove the flour again?
111
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,720
Erm, Toilet Drake.
112
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,200
Oh yeah, that's right.
113
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,520
I don't get it, it doesn't
seem to be any cleaner.
114
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,520
Maybe if we put it in
the washing machine?
115
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:41,840
Mmm, I don't know, that fabric
seems a little too delicate for a machine.
116
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,120
Yeah, we don't want to take
any risks at this stage.
117
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:48,520
No, we don't. We're like one
step away from it being totally clean again.
118
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:52,160
What should we use to
remove the Toilet Drake?
119
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,080
Petrol!
120
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,880
You're a genius.
121
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:01,480
This is the biggest day of my
life and I wanted you there as a part of it.
122
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,080
And now it's not
going to happen.
123
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,080
No, it's fine.
Yeah, I'll see you on the road.
124
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,600
Lookin' sharp, Desmo.
125
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,800
Daniel? Daniel!
126
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,200
Daniel, just the man!
127
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,640
Hey, you can read music,
can't you?
128
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,360
Oh,
like a gypsy can read palms.
129
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:22,040
Oh, great! I had this whole
matrimonial setlist planned,
130
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,160
and I'm after losing
my guitarist to shingles.
131
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,640
- Oh, the poor fella!
- No, er,
132
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,840
Shingles are
a skiffle band from Ruski.
133
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,800
Listen, don't you worry
about it, Dessie.
134
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,240
I'll grab my Spanish guitar,
135
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,600
and we'll be as tight as
the Gipsy Kings in no time.
136
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,360
So, all of our
petrol is on there?
137
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,960
It's just that... Well, the
petrol looks like it's helping the flour soak
138
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,120
into the dress,
which isn't ideal.
139
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,880
Unless you want to make a
cake. Is that how you make wedding cake?
140
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,640
All we need now is icing.
141
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,480
All right, just before you do
that, why don't we just check the label
142
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,240
to make sure that it's
not machine washable.
143
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,200
Why are these things so small?
144
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,440
Do you have your
magnifying glass?
145
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,320
Always.
146
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,200
That's my boy.
147
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:09,480
"This is
a Trisha Moone creation. X-X-X-L.
148
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,880
"Please call for
normal human sizes."
149
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,560
There's something
about the situation,
150
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,280
maybe it's just
the petrol fumes, but I feel uneasy.
151
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,680
Don't worry, Sean,
I'm a man of science.
152
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,080
Oh!
153
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,480
Oh, balls!
154
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,880
Oh, God!
155
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,040
All right, stay calm.
What removes fire?
156
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,760
What the hell...are ya...
157
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,760
Blame it on your dad.
158
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,440
Look what Dad's done!
159
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,640
But Mam, I was cleaning it!
160
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,200
If you'd just
let the fire burn away the Toilet Drake...
161
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,280
Martin, shut it! I can't even
look at you right now!
162
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,000
Apologise to your sister!
163
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,400
I'm really sorry, Delma.
164
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,880
She meant me, I'm the one
who feckin' made it!
165
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,640
You having a clothes burning
party or you after some help?
166
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,880
Not unless you have
a spare wedding dress.
167
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,320
For
a plus-size bride!
168
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,400
Actually I was
a bit more pregnant than you when I got wedded.
169
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,720
We might have to take it in.
170
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,960
Te amo. Te amo mucho.
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00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,040
Eres mi vida. La vida loca.
172
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,720
I had a very specific musical
vision for this Mass.
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00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,760
Dessie,
all that matters is that in a matter of minutes,
174
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,840
your beautiful, elegant bride
will walk down that aisle.
175
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:38,560
And her
simplicity and grace will make the music disappear.
176
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,280
You're the best
best man/priest ever.
177
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,240
She's here! She's here!
178
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:04,800
She's beautiful.
179
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,480
Wouldn't like to carry her
over the threshold, though.
180
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,520
Good luck with that.
181
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,360
Sorry!
182
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,840
Got him all right in the end.
183
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,560
Thank you, Dad.
184
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,480
Let go, Dad.
185
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,280
Okay, yeah, letting go.
186
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:42,720
Letting go now.
187
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,160
God, it's really hard.
188
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,000
It's okay, love, we'll
always have Trisha at home.
189
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,800
Hey, I'm standing right here.
190
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,000
Just keeping it real, Trish.
191
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,440
Welcome, ev...
192
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,400
Welcome, everyone.
193
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,360
On this glorious
St Patrick's Day,
194
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:06,240
to the wedding of
Fidelma Denise Moone and Desmond Joseph Mary Dolan.
195
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:11,680
Now, I'm in the unusual
situation of being both celebrant and best man.
196
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,160
When did that happen?
197
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,960
So let's hope I don't forget
either the Bible or the ring.
198
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,240
Don't laugh at that.
199
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:23,920
Oh!
200
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,760
Don't worry,
I've got better ones.
201
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,720
Oh!
202
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,640
Uh-oh. Either Fidelma's
overdone it on the rashers or that girl is in labour.
203
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,840
Quick, what gets babies out?
204
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:41,760
We welcome Fidelma and Desmond
here on their wedding day,
205
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:45,080
on what will probably be the
most beautiful day of their lives.
206
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,240
That was a big one.
207
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,040
Are you sure
you're all right, Delma?
208
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,600
I'm fine.
I'm fine. It's passed.
209
00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,280
Super. Hey,
keep going there, Father.
210
00:10:56,320 --> 00:11:00,160
"The Lord God said,
'It is not good for the man to be alone,
211
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,880
"'I will make a helper
suitable for him.'"
212
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,560
You're early with the bells,
Padraic.
213
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,920
Sorry, I was just trying to
drown out the wails.
214
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,720
This is a pretty
rock 'n' roll wedding, huh?
215
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,520
Actually,
it's pretty normal for us.
216
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,000
Really?
217
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,520
It's a bit more quiet than
most of ours, actually.
218
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,000
You're some woman, Delma.
219
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,400
Even as you're
splashing around there in your baby water,
220
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,160
you still put
Catholicism first.
221
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,000
I just don't think
I can stand up now.
222
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,400
That's the spirit!
Only three more readings, a couple of psalms,
223
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,160
and we're halfway
to Communion time.
224
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,480
We should probably go, love.
I think the baby's coming.
225
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,400
No,
we want it born in wedlock, don't we, Dessie?
226
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,800
Listen, we don't
have to do this, Delma.
227
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,120
Let's get you to the hospital.
228
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,400
Are you sure?
229
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:51,960
I know it's important to you.
230
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,600
You're important to me.
231
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:55,760
And we can just bring
Father Linehan with us,
232
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,040
he can marry us as
the baby's coming out!
233
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,720
Now that's funny!
234
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,200
Come on, come on!
235
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,760
Come on!
236
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,680
It would be a gas
if the baby went in and came out
237
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:16,800
in the back seat of this car.
238
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,360
- Dessie!
- For the love of...
239
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:22,920
"God is love
and whoever abides in love abides in God."
240
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,040
Seriously!
241
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,880
No petrol?
242
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,320
Don't worry, folks.
I always come prepared.
243
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,720
I just filled
this yesterday...
244
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,800
Oh, that reminds me, we should
replace that Toilet Drake.
245
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,120
We'll be there
in no time, lads.
246
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,960
As long as Seamus here
don't need to piss.
247
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,160
On the plus side, this really
ties the whole look together.
248
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,440
Right, where were we?
249
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,560
"May the Lord be with you.
250
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,760
"Let us bow our
heads and pray."
251
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,280
How are you, lads?
252
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,880
Are you well?
253
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:10,960
Apart from the obvious.
254
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,160
- Hi, thanks for coming.
- Thanks for coming, yeah.
255
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,680
Best Mass ever, huh?
256
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:19,880
Definitely top five.
257
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,560
Now, watch
yourselves today, girls.
258
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,760
I've been a bridesmaid at
enough receptions to know how lads get.
259
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,160
What do you mean?
260
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,280
Bridesmaids are like a walking
bullseye to a horny lad.
261
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,640
Vol-au-vents!
This way for vol-au-vents!
262
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,120
Told you, lads. Vol-au-vents!
263
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,560
Hello!
264
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,080
Cheers, misses.
265
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,120
Thanks for coming.
266
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,360
Now, if anyone asks,
I'm a bridesmaid, too, yeah?
267
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,560
Yeah?
268
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,360
Thanks for coming.
269
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,440
Good to see ya!
Enjoy yourselves!
270
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,960
Vol-au-vents! Ooh-la-la!
271
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000
What's the drink
situation here, Martin?
272
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,480
Vis-a-vis?
273
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,040
Did your father mention
anything about a free bar?
274
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,680
- Is there usually a free bar?
- Yep.
275
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,680
- Almost every time.
- Standard.
276
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,160
Well, this kid ain't cheap.
Of course there's a free bar!
277
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,880
Barkeep!
All drinks on Liam Moone!
278
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,560
Uncle Daniel, music!
279
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,280
Is this enough cowbell,
Martin?
280
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,480
You're doing great, Delma.
281
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,720
Shut your stupid face!
282
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,400
Lads, look!
283
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:31,440
We're in the parade!
284
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,000
John-Joe! Turn around,
we're going the back way.
285
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,960
I would if I
could but I can't. It's a one-way system, sir.
286
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,280
Hey, Liam!
287
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,960
Ho! Hey!
288
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,000
Aw, this is
the best day ever, Martin!
289
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,480
I never wanna go back to our
boring, traveller-free lives again.
290
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,800
- Me neither!
- What?
291
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,200
It's gonna be so great
when I join you full-time.
292
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,880
I still can't believe we're
actually running away with the travellers.
293
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,040
Martin, we're not a circus.
294
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,040
No, no, of course you're not.
295
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,280
Hide the beer!
296
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,880
I've got a progress report
from the cart here, lads.
297
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,160
"Fidelma and
Dessie are doing great!"
298
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,800
Hooray!
299
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:29,960
Who are Fidelma and Dessie?
300
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,480
"P.S. I'd do you."
301
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,680
Lovely float there from
Feeley's Fish Factory.
302
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,560
You can smell that from
all the way down the street, huh?
303
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,160
Padraic, stop that!
They're not sweets.
304
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,760
Now! The next float.
305
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,640
They're not
actually on the list here, but I see Liam Moone is there,
306
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,240
so it must be
for Moone Signage,
307
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,360
wishing us all
a happy St Patrick's Day.
308
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,240
Lovely.
309
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,160
I see Father
Linehan is there as well.
310
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,200
You're everywhere, Bishop,
you're everywhere.
311
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,480
I'm in the parade! Woo-hoo!
312
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,800
Bit of a religious
theme going on there,
313
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,880
it's very...
Very striking, yes.
314
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:25,120
"And now, Fidelma and Desmond
will come forward to the altar
315
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,960
"to light a wedding
candle to symbolise their everlasting union."
316
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,200
Sorry, Father.
I don't have any matches.
317
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,240
Hey! Psst.
318
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,240
Cheers, John-Joe.
319
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:41,360
Anyway, that's it, that's
Moone's Signage, for all your signage needs.
320
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:46,360
Although, ironically,
there's no actual signage included there...
321
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,280
That's us for ya.
322
00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:01,760
When you're in your late 30s,
you're gonna get a really bad head cold.
323
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,600
But it'll be gone
in a couple of days.
324
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,160
That is splendidly specific.
325
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,880
I'd look out for
that one, Jelly.
326
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:12,200
When you're 47, you're
going to try a new type of breakfast cereal.
327
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,080
- Mmm!
- Which you won't like.
328
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,240
Oh...
329
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,440
But you'll
finish the box anyway.
330
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,360
But just won't buy it again.
331
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,440
You're like
a cereal soothsayer. Am I right?
332
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,120
You don't know
how to read palms.
333
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,560
I'm a quick learner, Majella.
334
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,960
Just one of the many talents
I'll bring to the tribe.
335
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,760
We're not a tribe.
336
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,360
When you're 63,
you're gonna get lost in a maze.
337
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,360
Oh, scary but amazing!
338
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,080
Mmm, he's so gorgeous.
339
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,760
In a ruggedy,
wild stallion kind of way.
340
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,600
I tell you, Trish,
if you want to catch a wild stallion,
341
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,520
all you gotta do is
confuse it. Watch.
342
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,480
Jim!
343
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,400
Look where we are,
under the shamrock!
344
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:49,560
Isn't that a mistletoe thing?
345
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,720
Nah!
346
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,760
Shamrock! Got it!
347
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,600
Hey,
confused enough to shift me?
348
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,240
Half a mile to go,
hang in there, pet.
349
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,080
"And now, the best man/priest
will bring forward the wedding rings
350
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,240
"so that they may be blessed."
351
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,040
I've got them. Don't worry.
352
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,600
Quite a lot of
pockets in these robes.
353
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:22,800
It's a good thing
he's funny, huh?
354
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,200
# Oh, Gypsy Rose
355
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,520
# Oh, Gypsy Rose
356
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,040
# Where are you now?
357
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,400
# Where are you now?
358
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:41,200
# I still love you
359
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,120
# I still love you
360
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,840
# Oh, Gypsy Rose
361
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,600
# Oh, Gypsy Rose
362
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,720
# Oh, Gypsy Rose
363
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,840
# Oh, Gypsy Rose
364
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,640
# Where are you now?
365
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,120
# Where are you now? #
366
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,320
You're doing great,
you're doing great! I'm so proud of you, come on!
367
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:03,960
It's almost out. Keep going!
368
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,320
- It's okay. It's okay.
- You're nearly there.
369
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,520
Good girl, come on.
370
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:08,720
Can you see it, Dessie?
371
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,160
Everything's
looking good down there.
372
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,280
Lovely stuff. Fantastic.
373
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,800
I found them!
I found the rings!
374
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,760
Oh, sweet merciful Jesus.
375
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,360
The head's almost out now!
You're nearly there, love. Good girl!
376
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,840
A rose has bloomed.
377
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,640
Rose.
Where'd you get that from?
378
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:35,000
I don't know.
It just came to me.
379
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,720
# For all you know
For all you know
380
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:47,520
# I still love you
I still love you
381
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,320
# Gypsy Rose
Oh, Gypsy Rose
382
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,400
Gypsy Rose!
383
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,480
- # Oh, Gypsy Rose
- Oh, Gypsy Rose!
384
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,360
# Oh, Gypsy Rose #
385
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,480
The next day, the happily unmarried couple returned home
386
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,600
with their delicate
little lady flower.
387
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,920
Just what this family needs,
another bloody woman.
388
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,200
Oh, my God, she's so gorgeous.
389
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,960
- I know.
- The doctor said we can try again soon.
390
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,680
There's
a sausage sandwich inside with your name on it, Delma.
391
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,560
Aw, thanks, Dad.
You mean rashers, right?
392
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,400
Yeah.
393
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,680
Dad, phone call for you
inside. Something about a bar bill in town.
394
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,960
- Where's Trisha?
- I thought she was with you.
395
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,160
But as the Moones
greeted a new arrival,
396
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,360
Martin discovered
a sad departure.
397
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,320
They're gone.
398
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,960
Vanished without a trace.
399
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,200
Like they were
never even here.
400
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,840
Well, at least we treated them
to a free going away party before they left.
401
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:49,920
And hey, look, buddy.
402
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,840
Dear Martin,
sorry I had to go without saying goodbye.
403
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,760
But that's just
the traveller way, I don't know why.
404
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,080
I left you
a present to remember me by.
405
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,120
Farewell,
my favourite stationary guy.
406
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:10,000
Majella.
P.S. I don't know why this note rhymes.
407
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,840
How did she know
I loved stones?
408
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,360
No, I don't think
that's your present, I think that's your present.
409
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,280
I can't believe
Majella's gone forever.
410
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,280
She's probably in
India or somewhere.
411
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,040
Travelling around...
412
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,440
Actually, I think they said they were going to Leitrim.
413
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,600
Leitrim?
414
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,400
Now that's living.
415
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,400
Martin!
416
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,000
- Oh, balls.
- Oh, balls.
31284
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