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1
00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,240
They say technology is
a simpleton's tipple of choice.
2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,440
And Martin Moone
was about to get tech-tipsy for the first time.
3
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,520
A machine
4
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,320
to journey into
the Mega World,
5
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,000
now.
6
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,640
The most advanced video game
system in the universe.
7
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,640
Mega Drive.
8
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:27,880
That is the single greatest
thing my little eyes have ever witnessed.
9
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,320
You're always saying that.
10
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,720
That is the single greatest
thing my little eyes have ever witnessed.
11
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,280
Spanner.
12
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,640
Imagine what it could do
if we didn't live in a bungalow.
13
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,240
I meant it then,
and I mean it now.
14
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,880
I gotta get me one of those
magic machines.
15
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,600
Good morning,
my darling mother! - Not a chance.
16
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,640
- Hey there, handsome man.
- How much is it?
17
00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:00,160
Can you put
a price on the happiness of your only son?
18
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,800
£4? Is it more than 4?
19
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,480
Dad, everyone's gonna get one.
20
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,960
That's what they
said about hovercrafts.
21
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,000
And star pants.
22
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,640
And where are they now?
23
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,040
Mark my words, Martin.
This whole computer thing is just a fad.
24
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,360
- Star pants?
- Look, when I was young,
25
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,200
I was happy to play
with a wheel and a stick.
26
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,680
That was only exciting because
they'd just invented the wheel.
27
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,200
For the record,
I would never ridicule your silly old stories.
28
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,920
Look, Martin. We just can't
afford any new spangled stuff at the moment.
29
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,920
Things are a bit
slow at work, and...
30
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,280
Ah, Jesus!
Now me scrambled eggs are burnt.
31
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:36,080
I told you to
use the microwave. - Microwaves!
32
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,600
Mega Drives!
33
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,840
Who are we, the Moones,
or the bloody Jetsons?
34
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,720
Now, that is the single
greatest thing your little eyes have ever witnessed.
35
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,040
# Dancing at the disco,
bumper to bumper
36
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,440
# Wait a minute,
where's me jumper?
37
00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,200
# Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper?
38
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,840
# Where's me jumper,
where's me jumper? Oh, no #
39
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,280
Oh, balls!
40
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,960
How many times. You can't beat
an imaginary conker, buddy.
41
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,200
We'll see about that!
42
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:17,240
- Ow!
- Spanner.
43
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,640
Oh, conkers.
The poor man's Disney World.
44
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,000
I wonder if
the Sega Mega Drive has a conkers game.
45
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,600
Well, if it doesn't, you can
just hit yourself with the controllers.
46
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:26,920
- Hey, what's that?
- Where?
47
00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,640
- Oh, fuck!
- Oh, I see what you've done.
48
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,160
That's a very
fancy car for Boyle.
49
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,640
Oh, yeah.
50
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,600
Rich fucking golf clubbers.
51
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:39,840
More cashmere and mahogany
up there than you can shake a silver stick at.
52
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,000
Rich, you say?
53
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:45,800
Richer than B. A. Baracus'
brandy butter.
54
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,240
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
55
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,640
- Do you know how this works?
- Not a clue.
56
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,200
- Twenty-nine, thirty...
- What the hell are you doing?
57
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:59,720
We're taking turns sitting on
each other to see who will pass out first.
58
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,160
- Thirty-two...
- Is this how you want to spend
59
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,480
your sunny Saturdays?
60
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,200
Sitting on each other?
61
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,920
Why aren't you outside,
playing hide-and-seek or something?
62
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,040
Hide-and-seek?
63
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,560
I'm 16, Dad.
64
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:11,800
- Thirty-three...
- I'll get it.
65
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:12,960
Thirty-four...
66
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,200
Debra O'Connor.
67
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,440
- Hi, Kevin.
- Oh!
68
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,160
I said O'Connor, didn't I?
Which isn't right, is it?
69
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,800
That's your
maiden name, isn't it?
70
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,440
- That's right, Kevin.
- Well, that's how I know you best.
71
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,120
Is Liam in?
Seems the old mortgage cheque bounced again.
72
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,640
- Really? That's funny.
- Not funny ha-ha, though, is it?
73
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,440
No. Erm...
74
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,200
I think Liam said
he was going out on a job, I'm afraid.
75
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,640
That's odd.
His old battered car is here.
76
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,000
Maybe I should
come in and have a little nosy around.
77
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,680
No, that's fine. Sure, I'll...
I'll double-check.
78
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,560
- Forty-five...
- Liam!
79
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,480
Don't think I can take
another body, Debs!
80
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,480
The bank manager's outside!
81
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,960
- Ow!
- Okay, don't panic.
82
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,800
It's the fourth
time this year.
83
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,600
You see? This would've been
a brilliant time to know a good hiding place.
84
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,720
Do you know what we're
starting to call you down at the branch, Liam?
85
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,280
- Mr Moone?
- The rubber bandit. Do you know why?
86
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,280
- Because my cheques...
- We're calling you the rubber bandit
87
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,440
because your cheques
keep bouncing, Liam.
88
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:24,480
I'll have it in to
you tomorrow, Wednesday by the latest.
89
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,640
The very latest, Liam.
90
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,760
Marvellous. All right.
91
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,520
Tell Miss O'Connor I said
92
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:32,640
farewell.
93
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,560
I'll pass that
on to Mrs Moone.
94
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,560
Mrs Liam Moone.
95
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,680
Oh, look at them men
96
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:45,520
with the toffee ears and the
big silver spoons in their noses.
97
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,880
I can smell the fake fancy
faux leather a mile off.
98
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:51,920
- That's money, Sean.
- Oh, look at this fellow.
99
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,960
I bet it was pheasant for
breakfast and peasants for dinner with that flute.
100
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,720
He probably had
a light lunch as well. - Here you go. Okay.
101
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,160
You're Michael J. Fox
in the Secret of my Success.
102
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,080
Can I help you?
103
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,280
Good day, young man.
I am here for the employment.
104
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,800
What was...
Have you seen the film?
105
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:14,160
So, what previous employment
have you had, Mr...
106
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,200
Jetson?
107
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,160
- Paint stirring...
- Mmm.
108
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,840
Dish drying...
109
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,560
- Architect!
- Architect, right.
110
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,560
- Architect.
- And what do you see yourself doing
111
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:27,960
here?
112
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,800
- Bunker boy...
- Yeah.
113
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,880
Golf stick maker...
114
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,640
- Brolly dolly.
- Brolly dolly!
115
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,360
Tell you what.
116
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:39,880
You go get some lost balls,
we'll give you a few quid for them.
117
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,120
Huh? How about that, huh?
118
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:44,880
Yeah.
119
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,320
We have ourselves a deal, sir.
120
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,920
Just sit down. Just sit down.
121
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,480
Martin soon
discovered the life of the working man
122
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,880
was far easier
than he could've ever imagined.
123
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,480
Turns out the golf courses
are a virtual magnet for golf balls.
124
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,800
I just know
there's a golf ball here somewhere.
125
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,560
Yeah, keep digging, buddy.
Follow your ball nose.
126
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,400
Hey, Padraic.
127
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,600
- Oh!
- What are you doing here?
128
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,240
I thought golf was
really expensive.
129
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,320
Oh, it is.
But I have a special deal.
130
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:31,760
Oh, and what's that?
131
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,240
I just don't
tell them I'm here.
132
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,640
Fore!
133
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,200
What the...
134
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:41,240
Back to the woods.
135
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,920
Where'd you get the cash from?
136
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,520
Oh,
I'm a working man now, Dad.
137
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,080
Work?
138
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,080
- What kind of work?
- Ball hunting, ball gathering...
139
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,200
- I'm a golf ball ball boy.
- Golf!
140
00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,920
Sure, that's not a real sport.
141
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:03,120
Oh, here we go.
Another bloody handball sermon.
142
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,600
It's the one
true test of a man.
143
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,080
-Do you keep
-Handball.
144
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:11,760
But I thought that was just
145
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,520
- a foul.
- Not a handball.
146
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:17,480
Handball.
147
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,000
What is it?
Are we playing it now?
148
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:26,320
No, you play it in
a concrete court. Like a thunderdome.
149
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,000
- Or a squash court.
- Yeah.
150
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,120
Yeah, it's like squash, except
without those pansy rackets.
151
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,880
It's kind of like
152
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,600
a bare-knuckle squash.
153
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,800
So, like squash
154
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,160
for travellers?
155
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,840
Exactly.
156
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,760
And I was
the king of them all.
157
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,560
The year was 1967.
158
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,080
It was
the summer of sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll and handball.
159
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,920
- But then a terrible...
- They're gone, love.
160
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,120
They're gone.
161
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,880
I've warned you not to close
your eyes when you're telling your stories.
162
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,800
Yeah.
163
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,640
Finally, our fun vegetable
of the week is...
164
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,080
Oh, God.
165
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,040
- Cabbage, again?
- Have we done cabbage?
166
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,320
- Yes, yes.
- Well, it is a good one.
167
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,480
There's cabbage salad,
168
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,040
cabbage
169
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,600
- risotto.
- Mmm-hmm.
170
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,320
Have fun with it.
See what you can come up with.
171
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,640
- Right. Same time next week.
- Wait, hang on a sec.
172
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,560
Actually, I've decided
to increase the intensity
173
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,120
of the Weight
Wishers schedule.
174
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,120
So, there's going to be
another class on Wednesdays
175
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,360
- and Fridays.
- Oh, that's so kind of you, Debra.
176
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,360
Erm,
no, the classes aren't free.
177
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,520
Oh.
178
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,680
Thrice in a week?
179
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,240
Isn't that a bit excessive,
Debra?
180
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,120
Well,
so is your waistline, Gerry.
181
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,200
# She works hard for the money
so you better treat her right #
182
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,440
Ball!
183
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,680
Tweet, tweet, tweet.
184
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,360
Huzzah! Peasants for dinner.
185
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,760
- Oh, right in the feathers.
- Martin?
186
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,680
God, I'm sorry about that.
187
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,960
Misjudged the yardage.
188
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,360
Are you all right?
189
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,720
No, I'm Martin Moone.
I haven't seen "All right".
190
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,080
Ow.
Was I just hit by lightning?
191
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,160
Dumb caddie gave
me the wrong club.
192
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,520
That's it!
You and me are done professionally.
193
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,800
Get outta here!
194
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,160
- Aw, Dad, please!
- Go home, Peter. You're fired.
195
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:23,880
Listen, er...
196
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,360
Let's say we keep
this to ourselves, eh?
197
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,000
Here's a few punts.
198
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,800
Have a rest and
buy some sweets. - No time for rest.
199
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,800
- I'm a working man.
- Oh, it's work you want, is it?
200
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,680
Well,
I know of a caddie's position that's just opened up.
201
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,960
- If you're interested.
- I was born to be interested.
202
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,640
Well, I'm glad
that's settled, then.
203
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,720
Are you all right there,
young stripling?
204
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,600
You took quite the clatter
on the cranium.
205
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:51,720
Yeah, I'm all right, Sean.
206
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,440
Splendid. To the tee.
207
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,920
Ah, it's the rubber bandit.
208
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,560
Here to collect my
new employee, Liam?
209
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,400
Great work today, Marty.
210
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,360
Good to see one of the Moones
is making some money, huh, Liam?
211
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,920
- A nice few shillings.
- Martin, come here.
212
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,360
Your tea's ready. Here.
213
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,480
Would you fancy a game
yourself sometime, Liam?
214
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,480
- Of golf?
- Sorry.
215
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,000
Do you not know how to play?
216
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,920
I suppose it is a bit more
complicated than handball.
217
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,320
Golf is barely even a sport.
218
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,520
I could play it in my sleep.
I'd be dressed the right way, too.
219
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:38,320
- In my pyjamas.
- Very good.
220
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,360
Shall we say Wednesday?
221
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:45,320
We shall.
222
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,280
- Wednesday!
- Wednesday!
223
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,480
- Wednesday morning.
- Wednesday morning.
224
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,600
Can't do Wednesday morning,
Wednesday afternoon.
225
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,520
- This Wednesday afternoon.
- Wednesday week!
226
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:00,800
This Wednesday week.
227
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,000
Wednesday, the 16th.
228
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,360
- In the afternoon.
- Yes, sir!
229
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,360
That Kevin's
a lovely man, isn't he? - Lovely?
230
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,680
Are you joking?
231
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:16,880
I'll tell you
a little story about Kevin "The Leech" Leech.
232
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,640
The year was 1967.
233
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,480
It was
the summer of sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll and handball.
234
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,920
I was the finest
player in all of Boyle.
235
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,640
Leech was the second finest.
236
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:30,800
We were rivals.
237
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:32,760
In more ways than one.
238
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,960
- Yeah!
- That's some fine handballing, lads.
239
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:43,120
Debra soon fell
for my handy charms.
240
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:49,120
And when Leech
saw us together, he flew into a jealous rage.
241
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,680
I challenge you to a duel!
242
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,360
A handball duel!
243
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,320
Duel accepted.
244
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,160
Handball duel! Handball duel!
245
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,280
- Strike!
- Bullseye!
246
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,040
Your throw, Mr Leech.
247
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,880
But little did we know,
248
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,640
Leech had swapped the ball
for a ball-shaped rock
249
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,520
that he'd spent three months
carving from solid granite.
250
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,520
Why didn't I
find a smaller rock?
251
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000
Argh!
252
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,280
- Liam!
- I broke my hand in nine places,
253
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:36,720
and three of my nails.
254
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,400
- You're banned from handball.
- Fine!
255
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,040
I'm gonna take up golf.
256
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,520
And that was the end
of my handballing career.
257
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,080
So now, do you
still think he's lovely?
258
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,320
Bloody eyes. Open them.
259
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,880
- Oh, hey, Gerry.
- Liam-meister.
260
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,440
The Moone-natic. Come here.
261
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,080
- How are you?
- Great.
262
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,760
My God, you smell good.
263
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,280
Wish I could say the same,
Ger.
264
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,240
Yeah, it's an awful stench,
isn't it?
265
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,800
The old cabbage carbonara's
repeating on me.
266
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,400
So, listen, I was wondering
if I could borrow your golf clubs.
267
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:20,440
I have a bit of a match coming
up, and I can't really afford a set right now.
268
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,240
Yeah, well, you know, Liam,
that I'd give them to you in a heartbeat but,
269
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,240
my sons melted them down.
270
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,000
- Melted them down?
- To punish me.
271
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,280
I changed the channel
while they were watching Airwolf.
272
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,000
Hold on a second, though.
273
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,120
They did tell me to go play
with these old kiddie's clubs.
274
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,280
"Go on away and
play with these fecking kiddie's clubs,
275
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,320
"you big fat baby,"
they said to me.
276
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,480
You know, sometimes I think
they don't respect me, Li.
277
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,800
You know what, Gerry?
278
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,000
They're only kiddie clubs
279
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,120
when they're in kiddie hands.
280
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,080
Or if they're
a standard kiddie size, Liam.
281
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,360
Let's see if the rubber bandit
snaps under pressure.
282
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,720
This bandit is
gonna rub you out. - May golf be with you.
283
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,520
Forgot about that old handball injury.
284
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,280
Driver, please, Martin.
285
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,480
Wipe her face, old chump.
286
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,480
Thar she blows!
287
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,720
Storming
the greens like Normandy.
288
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,120
Seriously?
289
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,840
That's your club?
290
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,360
Oh, how the mighty handballer
has fallen.
291
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,040
Argh.
292
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,080
- Ah.
- Call that a driver?
293
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,600
Looks more like
a drunk driver.
294
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,600
I don't even need clubs.
295
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:49,360
I could beat you by just
throwing this stupid, little ball around.
296
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,400
- Oh, I would love to see that.
- Good.
297
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,240
'Cause, you're going
to see it.
298
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,200
Well,
I believe it's still your shot.
299
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,680
That's not great, Linda.
You've only lost a third of a pound.
300
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,640
You only
weighed me an hour ago. - It was longer than that.
301
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,560
Hang on, no, it wasn't.
I feel like I just got off the scales
302
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,120
before you had me
back on it again.
303
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,520
Is this a Weight Wishers
class, or a fecking step aerobics class?
304
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,520
She's right. It's ridiculous.
305
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,040
Yeah, but there's no time to
argue. Your next class starts in five minutes.
306
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,080
Ah, Deb!
307
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,840
This cult is
becoming very expensive. - This is not a cult.
308
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,600
This is
a Weight Wishers class.
309
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,880
This is not a cult. It's a Weight Wishers class.
310
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:45,480
Better.
311
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:10,680
Good man, Liam.
312
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,320
Whoo-hoo!
313
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:13,360
You a member here?
314
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,200
I'm his caddie.
315
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,680
- I'll take that for you, Liam.
- Oh, thank you, Padraic.
316
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:20,840
Always glad to help.
317
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,080
Glove.
318
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:27,120
- What do you think, Martin?
- You've got 120 to the hole,
319
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,680
but there's
a squally wind blowing west.
320
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:34,400
So,
I'd take a pitching wedge and hit it with a lion's heart.
321
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,320
What do you think, Padraic?
322
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:45,480
Just throw it.
323
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000
Yeah.
324
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,720
Yes!
325
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:57,720
Good man!
326
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,920
You're two shots behind,
Leech. I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were you.
327
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,920
And not just 'cause
of those trousers.
328
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,960
- It isn't over yet, Liam.
- Isn't it? Kevin.
329
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,360
Go on, go on!
330
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,080
Ah!
331
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,600
My hand!
332
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,040
Oh! Did you trip over this
ball-shaped rock, Liam?
333
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,480
- How ironic.
- Leech!
334
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,880
Actually,
that is rather ironic. - What should we do?
335
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,120
- Pint?
- Ah, yeah.
336
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,440
Let's call Gerry and all go
for a nice pint.
337
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,360
From the look of it,
we're doing more and more class.
338
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,840
But I don't feel
like we're losing any weight.
339
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,160
Well, maybe if we didn't
finish every class with tea and cakes.
340
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,480
Come on, lads.
341
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,800
You like your cake.
342
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,920
The cake means she loves us.
343
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,880
Jesus,
I better really answer that, haven't I?
344
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,640
No one ever
called me ever before.
345
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,520
Hello, Gerry Bonner.
346
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,360
What?
347
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,440
His hand? Liam's hurt.
348
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,600
No, no, no.
You read my mind. Yeah.
349
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,760
Get me a Guinness.
350
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:35,560
Ohh!
351
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,360
- How is he doing?
- Not well.
352
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,800
If Leech makes this shot,
353
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:43,320
it's all over.
354
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,040
Gwen! This is still class.
355
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,800
Ah! Miss O'Connor.
356
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,560
Nice of you to pop down
to witness my triumph.
357
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,320
Club, please, Martin.
358
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:59,040
No, Martin.
Don't be a brolly dolly.
359
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,440
Be a daddy caddie.
360
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,680
Bring the boy
home safely, chump.
361
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,640
Martin, that is not
the club I selected.
362
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,200
Why are you not
following our protocol?
363
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,200
Oh! He's over-hit that one,
the big eejit!
364
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,840
That was no accident!
365
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,600
That's it!
You and me are done professionally!
366
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,400
We're gonna win this.
367
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,760
- He has to make this in one.
- Come on, dad!
368
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,800
You're not
gonna lose, are you?
369
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,200
I thought I married the finest
handballer in all of Boyle.
370
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,560
That's it. Shift my mother.
371
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,400
Jesus!
372
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:00,800
It's up to you now, hand.
373
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:32,800
Loser.
374
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,960
This is our chance.
Let's escape. - Where?
375
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,440
Follow me, chubby club.
376
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:46,840
Forty-three, forty-four,
forty-five, forty-six...
377
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,600
I think he's
actually passed out.
378
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,280
Does that mean he's won?
379
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,080
Why didn't you put
money on it?
380
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,520
'Cause it's not about money,
Debra.
381
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,600
You could've bet the mortgage
payment or something.
382
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,640
No, you just don't get it.
It's about pride.
383
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,320
I beat him.
I beat "The Leech." I'm better than him.
384
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,920
Liam, you still owe us
that mortgage payment.
385
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,600
Oh, Jesus.
386
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,720
Hide, hide, everyone!
Hide, hide! Quickly!
387
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,200
The curtains.
388
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,600
- Ahh.
- You all right there, buddy?
389
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,200
Yeah, Sean, I think so.
390
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,280
Have you got enough money
for that computer thing yet?
391
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:24,960
What are computers?
392
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,200
Oh, balls.
393
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,480
Liam, I think he can see us.
394
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,200
Yeah, I know.
395
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,840
That is the single greatest
thing my little eyes have ever witnessed.
29527
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