Original subtitles

THAT WAS THE WORST DELIVERY EVER.

YEAH. I'M NEVER GOING TO ANOTHER PLANET CALLED CANNIBALON.

ME, NEITHER.

FOOD WAS GOOD, THOUGH.

OH, GREAT NEWS, EVERYONE.

SHOVE IT. WE QUIT!

IN THAT CASE, I'LL HAVE TO HIRE A NEW CREW

TO GO ON OUR COMPANY VACATION.

VACATION?

ALL RIGHT! WHOO!

THIS IS GREAT.

I HAVEN'T HAD TIME OFF SINCE I WAS 21 THROUGH 24.

IT'S JUST MY WAY OF THANKING YOU

FOR NOT REPORTING MY COUNTLESS VIOLATIONS

OF SAFETY AND MINIMUM WAGE LAWS.

AW, YOU.

I'VE BOOKED US ALL ON THE MAIDEN VOYAGE

OF THE LARGEST, MOST LUXURIOUS

SPACE CRUISE SHIP EVER BUILT.

THE TITANIC.

LOOKS NICE.

HEY, UH, WHERE'S MY SUITCASE?

OH!

AS MAYOR OF NEW NEW YORK

IT'S MY PLEASURE TO INTRODUCE THE HONORARY CAPTAIN

FOR THE TITANIC'S MAIDEN VOYAGE.

A MAN WHO SINGLE-HANDEDLY DEFEATED THE RETIREE PEOPLE

OF THE ASSISTED-LIVING NEBULA--

ZAPP BRANNIGAN!

[ Applause And Cheers ]

OH, GOD,

NOT ZAPP BRANNIGAN.

YOU KNOW ZAPP BRANNIGAN?

LET'S JUST SAY WE'VE CROSSED PATHS.

WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?

SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL SHIP, ALL RIGHT.

SHAPELY, SEDUCTIVE.

I'M GOING TO FLY HER BRAINS OUT.

AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

I CHRISTEN THIS SHIP TITANIC.

UH-HUH.

OOF!

[ Applause And Cheers ]

HMM.

WELL, WELL, WELL,

THE LADY LEELA.

TAKE NOTES, KIF.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS THE SUBTLE WALTZ

KNOWN AS SEDUCTION.

[ Groaning ]

SO, TRAPPED ON A SHIP WITH ME.

WHAT SAY YOU AND I KNOCK SOME VERY SENSUAL BOOTS?

IT'S TEMPTING BUT, UH,

I HAVE A FIANCÉ NOW.

UH-- UM-- UH--

UM-- UH-- WELL--

UH, HIM!

FRY, DARLING, MEET ZAPP BRANNIGAN.

HUH?

[ Grunts ]

HOW DO YOU DO?

HMM.

[ Crowd Cheering ]

[ Ship's Horn Honks ]

AH, HERE'S MY STATEROOM.

[ Purring ]

WHOA, WHERE IS IT? COME ON.

OH!

NOW, HERMES

YOU AND YOUR LOVELY WIFE, LaBARBARA

HAVE THE SUITE THROUGH THERE.

AND DR. ZOIDBERG

YOUR MARBLE TANK IS ON THE OTHER SIDE.

MAN, FIRST CLASS SEEMS NICE.

IT'LL SEEM EVEN NICER ONCE YOU'VE SEEN YOUR ROOM.

[ Amy ] LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ON THE FIESTA DECK.

[ Bell Dings ]

- [ Bell Dings ] - [ Tourists Clamoring ]

- [ Bell Dings ] - [ Irish Folk Music Playing ]

- [ Bell Dings ] - [ Sloshing ]

- [ Bell Dings ] - [ Men Grunting ]

[ Bell Dings ]

THIS IS IT.

[ Leela Sighs ]

WELL, AT LEAST WE GET A WINDOW.

WELL, I'M TIRED OF THIS ROOM AND EVERYONE IN IT.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING TO POP OVER TO THE CASINO

FOR THE NEXT 135 HOURS.

I THINK I'LL GO FILL UP ON BISQUE AT THE BUFFET.

I GUESS THAT JUST LEAVES YOU AND YOUR FAKE FIANCÉ...

ALL ALONE ON A ROMANTIC CRUISE.

TAKE IT OFF OR I'LL BREAK IT OFF.

OKAY!

CAPTAIN'S INSPECTION.

MM-HMM.

[ Beeping ]

[ Laughing ]

I'M BETTING IT ALL.

[ Onlookers Oohing ]

COME ON!

BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF FEET!

SNAKE EYES.

WAIT, MY CHEATING UNIT MALFUNCTIONED.

YOU GOT TO GIVE ME A DO-OVER.

SORRY, THE HOUSE LIMIT IS THREE DO-OVERS.

NEXT SHOOTER.

AH.

GIVE ME YOUR BIGGEST, STRONGEST, CHEAPEST DRINK.

YOU GOT IT.

[ Gasps ]

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.

I'M BENDER.

CHARMED.

I'M THE COUNTESS DE LA ROCA.

I WAS SURPRISED TO SEE ANOTHER ROBOT

STAYING IN FIRST CLASS.

MOST OF THE ROBOTS I MEET ARE LABORERS.

I ASSURE YOU, I BARELY KNOW THE MEANING

OF THE WORD "LABOR."

[ Laughing ]

OH, MR. BENDER.

PLEASE, CALL ME BENDER.

OH, WELL, GOODNESS.

I-I DON'T--

[ Toilet Flushing ]

KIF, I'M FEELING THE CAPTAIN'S ITCH.

I'LL GET THE POWDER, SIR.

NO, THE ITCH FOR ADVENTURE.

PREPARE TO CHANGE COURSE.

SIR, THIS IS A LEISURE CRUISE.

OUR PATH WAS SET BY THE TRAVEL AGENCY.

THAT'S FOR SCHOOLGIRLS.

NOW HERE'S A ROUTE WITH SOME CHEST HAIR.

BUT THAT COURSE LEADS DIRECTLY

THROUGH A SWARM OF COMETS.

YES, COMETS.

THE ICEBERGS OF THE SKY.

BY JACKKNIFING FROM ONE TO THE NEXT

AT BREAKNECK SPEED

WE MIGHT JUST GET SOME KIND OF GRAVITY BOOST...

OR SOMETHING.

[ Groaning ]

IT'S TIME TO SHOVE A JALAPEÑO

UP THIS SHIP'S TAILPIPE.

DIVERT POWER FROM THE SHIELDS.

FULL SPEED AHEAD.

OH, YEAH.

[ Gasping ]

AMY! HELLO!

MOM! DAD?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WE WERE PLANNING ON ENJOYING A RELAXING VACATION

BUT SINCE YOU'RE HERE, WE'LL HAVE TO DO SOME MEDDLING.

WE MET THE NICEST BOY IN THE CABIN NEXT TO OURS.

HE'S NOT VERY UGLY.

YOU SHOULD MARRY HIM

OR AT LEAST USE HIM TO CONCEIVE A GRANDCHILD FOR US.

THERE HE IS AT THE BUFFET.

[ Sniffing ]

UH, HE SEEMS REALLY NICE, BUT...

WELL, I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

REALLY? WHERE IS HE?

AND WHY ISN'T HE HERE RIGHT NOW

FATHERING OUR GRANDCHILD?

UH--

WELL, OUR ACCOMMODATIONS AREN'T GREAT

BUT IT SURE IS BEAUTIFUL OUT HERE.

YEAH. IT'S PRETTY ROMANTIC.

I MEAN PLATONIC.

TH-THAT SURE IS ONE PLATONIC VIEW.

FRY, JUST BE QUIET.

I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THIS WHOLE FAKE FIANCÉ THING

WAS A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE--

[ Gasping ]

HMM?

MMM.

LEELA, PERHAPS THIS IS AN AWKWARD TIME

BUT IF THINGS DON'T WORK OUT WITH THIS PIP-SQUEAK HERE

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW

I'LL BE THERE TO SCORE YOU ON THE REBOUND.

[ Brannigan Humming ]

UH, LOOK.

BEFORE YOU GET ANY CRAZY IDEAS, THAT WAS FOR ZAPP.

WELL, YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE FOR HIM?

ALL RIGHT.

CAN WE TRY NOT TO COMPLICATE THIS?

MOM, DAD,

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET FRY,

MY BOYFRIEND.

HMM?

MMM.

MMM!

MMM. MMM.

[ Fry ] SEE YOU LATER, WUV-UMS.

[ Amy Giggling ]

IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICE IF YOU'D TOLD ME

YOU WERE GOING OUT WITH AMY.

I'M NOT GOING OUT WITH AMY.

IT'S JUST TO FOOL HER PARENTS.

HEY, YOU'RE NOT JEALOUS, ARE YOU?

WHAT?

NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.

GOOD. 'CAUSE I CONSIDER MY FAKE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU

A LOT MORE MEANINGFUL.

MIND IF I FRESHEN UP A BIT BEFORE WE GO OUT?

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SUGGEST THE SAME THING.

[ Coy Giggle ]

[ Buzz Saw Whining ] [ Lusty Chuckle ]

[ Mumbling ]

MMM? MMM.

[ Laughing ]

PAY DIRT.

[ Sighs ]

LOVELY, ISN'T IT?

YEAH.

BUT ONLY 93% AS LOVELY AS YOU.

OH, BENDER.

EITHER THAT WAS A COMPUTING ERROR

OR YOU'RE THE MOST ROMANTIC ROBOT I'VE EVER MET.

I DON'T GET IT, IZAC.

THAT BRACELET HAD A DIAMOND

THE SIZE OF A RACCOON'S BRAIN.

WHY COULDN'T I STEAL IT?

IT'S OBVIOUS, MR. B.

YOU'RE IN LOVE.

OH, IT'S TRUE.

BUT WE'RE STAR-CROSSED ROBOTS.

SHE, A COUNTESS

BUILT WITH A SILVER SPOON IN HER MOUTH.

AND ME, JUST A REGULAR HONEST JOE.

HEY, YOU GOING TO PAY FOR THOSE?

HELL, NO.

SECURITY TO BAR AREA.

SECURITY TO BAR AREA.

FELLAS, PLEASE,

I'M IN LOVE.

ROUGH HIM UP.

[ Robots Pounding Bender ]

OW, OH, OOH, EH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THIS PENNILESS CHUMP

WAS STEALING DRINKS, MA'AM.

I SEE.

HERE YOU ARE, SIR.

KEEP THE CHANGE.

YOU GOT IT.

OH!

AHA!

[ Mumbling ]

GO, PROFESSOR!

LEAN BACK MORE!

[ Groaning ]

OW!

COME ON, HERMES

YOU COULD OUT-LIMBO ALL OF THESE PEOPLE.

DON'T BE A DOG HOT, WOMAN.

YOU KNOW I CAN'T.

NOT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED.

[ Event Announcer ] Now limboing for the Earth team

Hermes Conrad.

YOU'RE MY HERO, HERMES!

I'M GOING TO BE JUST LIKE YOU.

NO, BOY, STOP!

IT'S TOO LOW!

YOUR BACKBONE CAN'T TAKE IT!

I'M JUST LIKE HERMES!

I'M JUST LIKE--

[ Back Snapping ] [ Boy Gasping ]

NOOO!

[ Sobbing ]

THERE, THERE.

NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIMBO IF YOU DON'T WANT.

IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A MAN.

THOUGH IT DID GET ME SOME ACTION.

I LIKE A MAN WHO'S FLEXIBLE.

YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.

AS CAPTAIN OF THIS VESSEL

THE TERRIBLE BURDEN OF NAMING A LIMBO CONTEST WINNER

IS MINE AND MINE ALONE.

SHOULDN'T YOU BE STEERING BETWEEN THE COMETS?

AND THE WINNER IS--

LEELA.

BUT I DIDN'T EVEN LIMBO.

NO MATTER.

I KNOW FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE HOW HORIZONTAL YOU CAN GET.

AS YOUR REWARD, YOU AND THAT HAIR PILE

ARE INVITED TO DINE

AT THE CAPTAIN'S TABLE THIS EVENING.

WHOO!

WELL, NOW YOU KNOW--

I'M NOT ACTUALLY RICH.

I'M A FRAUD,

A POOR, LAZY, SEXY FRAUD.

THIS ISN'T EVEN A REAL BOW TIE, IT'S MAGNETIC.

BENDER, I DON'T CARE WHETHER YOU HAVE MONEY.

I LOVE YOU FOR YOUR ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

AND YOUR SINCERITY SIMULATOR.

YOU DO?

REALLY?

[ Computer Printer Whirring ]

[ Laughing And Giggling ]

I LIKE YOUR STYLE, FRY.

YOU REMIND ME OF A YOUNG ME.

NOT MUCH YOUNGER, MIND YOU.

PERHAPS EVEN A COUPLE OF YEARS OLDER.

- THANK YOU, SIR. - BUT AS A GENTLEMAN, I MUST WARN YOU--

IF YOU SO MUCH AS GLANCE AT ANOTHER WOMAN

I'LL BE ALL OVER LEELA LIKE A FLY ON A PILE

OF VERY SEDUCTIVE MANURE.

WELL, REST ASSURED,

LEELA'S THE ONLY GIRL FOR ME.

HEY, FRY.

AMY. LEELA.

AH, THE FAMILY WONG.

OUR PARTY IS COMPLETE.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

FRY CAN'T PRETEND TO BE BOTH OUR BOYFRIENDS.

SURE, I CAN.

I LEARNED HOW TO HANDLE DELICATE SOCIAL SITUATIONS

FROM A LITTLE SHOW CALLED THREE'S COMPANY.

[ Glass Chiming ]

I'D LIKE TO IMPOSE A TOAST ON THE HAPPY COUPLE.

DOWN THE HATCH.

HEAR, HEAR.

NOW LET'S HAVE A KISS.

YES, FRY,

PLANT ONE ON YOUR WOMAN.

UH, LET ME THINK.

* COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR

* NA NA NA NA NA NA

UM, MR. ROPER,

WHAT'S THE HOLDUP? KISS MY DAUGHTER ALREADY!

WAIT. I'M CONFUSED. NOW, TELL ME, FRY--

WHICH ONE OF THESE LADIES

ARE YOU INVOLVED WITH?

UH--

* NA NA NA NA NA NA

CAPTAIN, MAY I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU?

NO.

IT'S AN EMERGENCY, SIR.

COME BACK WHEN IT'S A CATASTROPHE.

[ Crashing ]

OH, VERY WELL.

WELL, WITH ZAPP GONE AND MY PARENTS STILL HERE

I SUGGEST FRY GIVE ME A NICE CONVINCING KISS.

AH, NOW THERE'S SOMETHING WE CAN ALL ENJOY.

MMM. MMM.

HMM.

SIR, REMEMBER YOUR COURSE CORRECTION?

NO.

WELL, IT'S PROVING SOMEWHAT MORE SUICIDAL

THAN WE'D INITIALLY HOPED.

KIF, OLD FRIEND,

I DON'T KNOW WHICH DISGUSTS ME MORE--

YOUR COWARDICE OR YOUR STUPIDITY.

WE'LL SIMPLY SET A NEW COURSE

FOR THAT EMPTY REGION OVER THERE,

NEAR THAT BLACKISH, HOLE-ISH THING.

HEY, LEELA, WHY'D YOU RUN OFF FROM DINNER?

I DIDN'T RUN OFF.

I HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO FINISH EATING AND STROLL AWAY

WHILE YOU WERE KISSING AMY.

OH, LOOK, I'M NOT ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN HER

IF THAT'S WHAT'S BOTHERING YOU.

OH, ARE YOU SURE?

I MEAN, SHE HAS TWO EYES.

YOU HAVE TWO EYES.

I KNOW-- WE SEEM LIKE A PERFECT MATCH

BUT I JUST DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT HER.

NICE NEBULA.

YEAH.

LOOKS LIKE EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMEBODY...

EXCEPT ME.

AND ME.

[ Thudding ]

OW!

WHAT WAS THAT?

OH, MY GOD. WE'RE HEADING

STRAIGHT INTO A BLACK HOLE.

[ Fry ] TALK ABOUT A MOOD KILLER.

DON'T BLAME YOURSELF, KIF.

WE WERE DOOMED FROM THE START.

NOTHING REMAINS NOW

BUT FOR THE CAPTAIN TO GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP.

WHY, THAT'S SURPRISINGLY NOBLE OF YOU, SIR.

NO. IT'S NOBLE OF YOU KIF.

AS OF NOW, YOU'RE IN COMMAND.

CONGRATULATIONS, CAPTAIN.

[ Sighs ]

[ People Screaming ]

OKAY, WE JUST HAVE TO GET

FROM HERE TO THE ESCAPE PODS.

[ Thudding ]

I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE.

COME ON, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

YOU ALL GO WITHOUT ME.

I'M GOING TO TAKE ONE LAST LOOK AROUND.

YOU KNOW, FOR, UH, STUFF TO STEAL.

YOU'RE GOING BACK FOR THE COUNTESS, AREN'T YOU?

ALL RIGHT. I AM,

BUT I DON'T WANT THE OTHERS TO KNOW.

IF I DON'T COME BACK

JUST SAY I DIED ROBBING SOME OLD MAN.

I'LL TELL HIM YOU WENT OUT PRYING THE WEDDING RING

OFF HIS COLD, DEAD FINGER.

I LOVE YOU, BUDDY.

COUNTESS!

COUNTESS!

BENDER!

[ Coughing ]

I FELL THROUGH THE DECK!

ARE YOU HURT, MY SWEET?

NO. LUCKILY, A FAMILY BROKE MY FALL.

JUST HANG ON.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT FIRE.

BENDER,

YOU RISKED YOUR LIFE TO SAVE ME.

AND I'D DO IT AGAIN.

AND PERHAPS A THIRD TIME.

BUT THAT WOULD BE IT.

MMM. MMM.

WHEN WE KISS, I FEEL LIKE I'M STANDING WAIST DEEP

IN A POOL OF COLD RISING WATER.

NO!

NO!

[ Both Screaming ]

[ Klaxon Sounding ]

HURRY.

THE ESCAPE PODS SHOULD BE JUST AHEAD.

FASTER.

[ Klaxon Buzzes ]

[ All Gasping ]

[ Groans ]

IT WON'T MOVE...

AND THE DOOR RELEASE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE.

THEN WE'RE DEAD MEAT.

NO ONE COULD SQUEEZE UNDER THERE.

NO ONE EXCEPT A LEGENDARY LIMBO CHAMPION.

OH, HERMES.

[ Back Creaking ]

OOH, IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

AH!

THIS ONE IS FOR THAT LITTLE KID

WHO'S LIMBOING UP IN HEAVEN RIGHT NOW.

[ Groaning ]

[ Cheering ]

THAT'S MY MAN. ALL RIGHT, BABY, LIMBO.

I STILL GOT THE MOVES.

ZOIDBERG, LOWER THE DOOR ANOTHER INCH.

JUST GO ON THROUGH AND HIT THE RELEASE

YOU HOT DOG.

YES, DEAR.

[ Cheering ]

THAT'S MY MAN.

YEAH, HERMES!

UH, CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME UP?

[ Screaming ]

WELL, NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

WAIT A SECOND.

AREN'T YOU A MEMBER OF THE YACHT CLUB?

BY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M A CLASS-THREE YACHT.

[ Motor Running ]

[ Screaming ]

THANK GOD THERE ARE PLENTY OF ESCAPE PODS.

WE WON'T HAVE TO DRESS UP LIKE WOMEN AND CHILDREN.

WE CAN'T LEAVE YET.

WE'VE GOT TO WAIT FOR BENDER.

THE HIGH GRAVITY MUST BE SLOWING DOWN HIS LOOTING.

AMY.

MOM, DAD,

YOU'RE ALIVE.

YEAH, BUT SO WHAT?

THE IMPORTANT THING IS WE FOUND YOU A NEW MAN.

A CAPTAIN.

OH, MOM, I DON'T--

HI.

HELLO.

I DON'T FEEL WELL.

LOOK, IT'S OUR NEBULA.

WHENEVER I SEE IT, I'LL THINK BACK TO THAT MOMENT

WHEN WE ALMOST--

NEVER MIND.

EVERYONE ELSE IS OFF THE SHIP.

WHERE IN BABYLON IS BENDER?

I DON'T KNOW,

BUT WE CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER.

GOOD-BYE, BENDER.

[ Panting ]

WAIT FOR US!

SOMETHING'S WRONG.

WE'RE TWO METRIC TONS OVERWEIGHT.

WELL, IT'S NOT ME.

LOOK!

I'M SLIPPING, BENDER.

THE PULL IS TOO STRONG.

[ Screams ]

I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.

IF YOU LET GO, I LET GO.

NO. YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.

IT MAY HURT FOR A WHILE

BUT ONE DAY YOU'LL SHARE YOUR LOVE AGAIN.

AFTER ALL,

IT'S SHAREWARE.

DON'T TALK LIKE THAT.

TRAGIC ROMANCES ALWAYS HAVE A HAPPY ENDING.

[ Echoing ] FAREWELL.

NOOOO!

SHE'S GONE.

BUT SHE SAVED ALL OUR LIVES.

WITHOUT HER, WE'RE LIGHT ENOUGH TO GET AWAY.

[ Crying ]

DON'T CRY, BENDER.

NOBODY REALLY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS IN A BLACK HOLE.

IT'S POSSIBLE SHE'S STILL ALIVE

IN ANOTHER DIMENSION SOMEWHERE.

RIGHT, PROFESSOR.

OH, YES, ABSOLUTELY.

NOT A CHANCE.

[ Making Throat Cutting And Choking Sounds ]

AT LEAST I'LL ALWAYS HAVE HER BRACELET.

WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S WORTH?

IT'S FAKE, MON.

[ Bender Screaming ]