Original subtitles

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little, 'cause he can't do enough ♪

♪ Once upon a summertime, just a dream from yesterday ♪

♪ A boy and his magic golden flute ♪

♪ Heard a boat from off the bay ♪

♪ Come and play with me, Jimmy ♪

♪ Come and play with me ♪

♪ And I will take you on a trip far across the sea ♪

♪ But the boat belonged to a kooky old witch ♪

♪ Who had in mind the flute to snitch ♪

♪ From her vroom-broom in the skies ♪

♪ She watched her plans materialize ♪

♪ She waved her wand ♪

♪ The beautiful boat was gone ♪

♪ The skies grew dark, the sea grew rough ♪

♪ And boat sailed on and on and on and on and on and on ♪

♪ But Pufnstuf was watching too and knew exactly what to do ♪

♪ He saw the witch's boat attack ♪

♪ And as the boy was fighting back ♪

♪ He called his rescue racer crew ♪

♪ As often they'd rehearsed ♪

♪ And off to save the boy, they flew ♪

But who would get there first?

♪ But now, the boy had washed ashore ♪

♪ Puf arrived to save the day ♪

♪ Which made the witch so mad and sore ♪

♪ She shook her fist and screamed away ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little, 'cause he can't do enough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ He's your friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little, 'cause he can't do enough ♪

Ah, glory be, customers.

Right this way, folks. Step right up.

How would ya like to buy a hot?

- A hot what?

- You name it, I got it.

- Well, what we were looking for Mr. Lion,

is a way for Freddy and me to get home.

- Without the Witch finding out.

- Ah, yes, the Witch. Charming creature if ya like hags.

Let's see. You need a secret way off the island.

I've got just the thing.

Now, where did I put it?

Ah, here it is. Just happen to have one left.

An authentic secret genuine escape map,

with clues to the golden key

that opens the magic golden escape door.

- Terrific! That sounds like just what we need.

- Mayor, tell you what I'm gonna do.

If you're not satisfied,

if you don't find that this is a real...

Ah, ah, ah-choo!

Ancient genuine escape map,

I'll give you your buttons back.

- Buttons? Who said anything about buttons?

- I heard someone mention it.

Let's see, who could it have been?

- All right, Ludicrous. How much?

- 10 buttons.

- That sounds like an awful lot.

I haven't got a button in my pocket.

- I don't even have a pocket!

- No buttons, no map. And I might point out no escape.

- Well, can you change this a hundred button piece?

Can I?

Keep your eyes on the flashing fingers of Ludicrous Lion.

All right. Button, button.

Button.

Who's got the button?

There you are my lucky little lollipops.

Follow instructions on the map

and you'll soon be waving bye-bye to the nasty old Witch.

- Thank you, Mr. Lion. Goodbye!

- Bye-bye. - Bye, Ludicrous. Bye.

♪ Hmm, hmm, oh, hmm, hmm ♪

♪ You're so beautiful, so marvelous ♪

♪ So wonderfully evil ♪

♪ I love you ♪

Seymour! Clean up!

I broke another one.

Witchiepoo, come quick!

They're escaping with the talking flute.

- My flute? The talking flute?

Outta my way, you feathered octopus.

Let me see.

- Pushy, pushy, pushy.

- Ah, so they're trying to escape again, eh?

What is that they're holding?

It's a golden key escape map.

But they'll never escape from me,

not unless I have Freddy Flute first.

- What's your plan, my night-blooming Witchiepoo?

- Stick around and watch, you overgrown chicken.

Stick around and watch.

Why did you hit me? I'm not going to escape.

- Neither are they, my pouting pigeon. Neither are they.

Keep dusting and use all your arms!

Orson, keep an eye on the image machine.

I'll be right back. Understand?

- Jumping jelly beans, there's the three round rocks

just like it says on the map.

- Right. It says take 10 paces to the left

then six to the right,

and then we find the first part of the golden key.

- Let's pace it off. Hurry!

Sorry!

- I beg your pardon.

- We're awfully sorry, Ma'am.

- Beg pardon, but we're looking for part of the golden key.

- So that's what this is.

I found it. Thought it was a piece of jewelry.

Here you are.

- Thank you, Ma'am.

Pufnstuf, Freddy, I have it! I have it!

- Ooh wee! Thanks for helping, Ma'am.

- Think nothing of it. Toodeloo!

- Gee willackers, Jimmy, I guess that map is real.

All we need now are

the two other parts of this magic golden key,

and you'll be on your way home.

What's the next clue?

- Listen to this.

Puppy dogs are born with no bark and so am I.

What does that mean?

- I don't rightly know, Jimmy.

But if you don't know something

the best thing to do is ask someone.

- Ask us. We trees are pretty sharp.

Some of us even have needles.

- Good idea, Sir.

Trees, this is your mayor talking.

Can you tell us what this riddle means?

Puppy dogs are born with no bark. So am I.

- That's way out, man. I dig riddles.

- Do you know what it means?

- No, but I sure can dig it. Crazy, man.

- Who is that?

- That's that whipper snapper, the baby tree.

He's always yapping about something.

- Please don't cry.

- I'm always so cold. I don't get my bark until I grow old.

- Jimmy, that's the clue. Don't you see?

Baby trees are born with no bark

and grown trees all have their bark.

- Of course! The bark on the trees. I get it now!

So the second part of the key is?

Underneath me, the baby tree.

Hurry, get it Cling and Clang.

- Good work, boys.

Does it fit?

- Jumping jelly beans!

- It fits!

- Yippee! One more to go!

- Thank you for helping us, baby tree.

- We'll be seeing you.

- Bye-bye! Bye-bye!

- Hurry up, boys. We've got to find the next clue.

Move along. Hurry. Hurry.

- What was that?

It sounded like a ghost!

- It's coming this way. Quick! Get down. Hide!

♪ Bom, ba, dee, dee, bom ♪

Oh, it's working perfectly.

Oh, wait till I show them this one.

Oh!

Oh, hello there, fellas! Hello there.

- Dr. Blinky?

- Did you hear that awful sound?

- Of course I heard it. I made it.

It's my new invention.

It's a sound box that makes all the sounds

ever heard in the whole world.

See?

This is a button that made the spooky sound you just heard.

Listen.

- Hey! That's terrific!

- Perhaps we can borrow it.

It might come in handy on our search for the golden key.

- Why not? Here. The sound box is yours.

In case you're attacked, just press the red buttons.

Those are war noise buttons.

Makes every war sound you ever heard.

You'll scare the pants off them.

That is if they're wearing any.

Oh my.

Cling, you shouldn't have pushed that button!

Oh!

- What's going on?

Let me see!

Well, well, horror movie? You switched channels.

You're supposed to watch those nincompoops!

- But Witchiepoo, it was time for our favorite scary movie.

- I'll scare you.

I've got to find them myself.

Here they are.

They're walking right into my evil forest.

I'll fix them!

Now hear this!

Calling all evil trees, tombstones and mushrooms,

be on the alert.

Grab that boy and the flute, especially the flute.

Do you read me?

Roger!

- Witchiepoo!

- Over and out.

- It's going to be a little surprise they won't expect,

eh Orson?

What do you think of your sweet little Witchiepoo now?

- I have a very good suggestion

which I make in all humility, my dear Miss Witch.

- What is that, my sweet?

- Stop hitting me!

- The map only shows an X, but look, Jimmy!

There's a written clue.

- Find a mushroom with a cigar.

Tweak it once, and there you are.

- A mushroom with a cigar?

- That must be where the last part of the key is.

- Well, if it isn't my friend, Jimmy.

You look like you've come a long way.

Why don't you sit down on my cap and rest?

- No, Jimmy. No, don't touch them.

They belong to the Witch.

One touch and you'll turn into a mushroom too.

- But we have to get the key.

Let me go. I can squeeze between those mean mushrooms.

No offense, but you're too big.

- All right, Jimmy, but be careful.

Remember, don't touch those mushrooms you hear?

And look for the one with the cigar.

Now watch it, boy.

- Come here and feel how smooth and soft we are.

Careful, Jimmy. Careful!

Oh, look out Jimmy behind you!

- Watch out! Oh my!

- Hey kid! Come here. I'm not gonna bite ya.

- I'm not afraid of you.

- Ouch! He tweaked my cigar.

- Look Jimmy. Look Jimmy. The key! The key!

- Help, evil trees. Help!

We're coming!

Look out, Jimmy!

- Hey, Jimmy, come swing on my branch.

- Jimmy, come here. I have some walnuts for you.

Run, Jimmy! Run!

Run!

- What's that terrible noise? What happened?

- Cling pressed the sound box by mistake.

- Thanks, little pal. That mistake saved us.

Let's get out of here!

Jimmy, wait up.

I guess we're all outta danger now.

Try the key, Jimmy. Try it. Oh boy. Look!

- It fits! We've got the golden key.

Hooray!

- Hooray!

- Drat and double drat! They've got the key.

I must stop them before they get to the golden door.

- What are you going to do, Witchiepoo?

- You're a big help.

I oughta trade you in for a plucked chicken.

Where's Seymour? Seymour!

- Coming, Witchiness!

Your number one wand is all fixed and ready to go.

- Let me have it, dummy.

Wham, wham, alakazam!

Bullseye! Seymour, give him a shot of smelling salts.

I'm on my way.

- Jumping butterballs. That key is just like a compass.

It's pointing and telling us which way to go.

- Freddy, I think we're on our way home.

- I'm free from the old Witch at last!

- Let's go!

- Now when they follow the sign,

they'll come to my golden door.

- Look! Here it is! The sign we've been looking for!

- This way to the golden door.

And we have the golden key to open it.

- By golly, Jimmy, that's it. The end of the road.

- Did you hear that, Freddy? We're almost there!

♪ There's a great big rainbow waiting there ♪

♪ At the end of the road ♪

♪ With the answer to our every prayer ♪

♪ At the end of the road ♪

♪ There's a golden door and a golden key ♪

♪ And they're waiting for both you and me ♪

♪ All we have to do is follow the signs we see ♪

♪ To the end of the road ♪

♪ To the end of the road ♪

♪ To the end of the road ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- No need for them to know

this is the rear door to my dungeon.

Snaps and snails and rattlesnake tails!

Make this wooden door that's old turn to a door of gold!

And just in case the key doesn't fit,

I'll leave the door open a bit.

Now we'll see how their foolish map

will lead them right into my very own trap.

Oh, I'm a devil.

Goodbye!

- Hurry, boys. Right this way. I think we're getting there.

Golly gee! Look at that door.

- It's terrific!

Where do you suppose it leads to?

- To some secret tunnel, I suspect.

Hold on, Jimmy. It looks kinda suspicious.

Let me go first.

- Here they come! Right into my trap!

Oh, this is too good to be true.

Orson, this is the golden door button.

When I say, "Now," press it.

Then the door will close and I'll have them all

and my golden flute.

- Ssh!

- My wondrous Witchiepoo,

what did you say was the word for closing the door?

- Now!

- You got it!

- I didn't say, "Now!" I meant when I said, "Now!"

You noodle nose!

You closed the door too soon!

- It's closing! Pufnstuf! Come back!

Pufnstuf, can you hear me?

Are you all right? Pufnstuf!

Answer me!

Witch's dungeon. Rear door deliveries only.

- Oh no. The Witch has Pufnstuf in her dungeon.

What'll we do?

- We'll have to rescue him. Let's go!

- It's locked. Golly willackers.

Trapped in the Witch's dungeon. What am I gonna do?

My, oh my, oh my.

At least we got one of them.

All is not lost yet.

If I know my apples,

that foolish boy will try to rescue Pufnstuf

then we'll grab him and the flute.

Right, Orson?

- Right, my Queen of Darkness.

Well, finally, that's one for me.

- Ho, ho, ho!

- Here's the plan, men.

Dr. Blinky says this box makes all the sounds of war.

So when I press these red war noise buttons,

the Witch will think she's being attacked by an entire army

then she'll run away and we'll go in and rescue Pufnstuf.

Got it, men?

Let's move forward.

Blast-off!

Opening the auxiliary!

Now the bombers!

Keep the flank moving!

- Listen to that. That sounds like an army.

We're under attack!

- It's war. It's war! I hear a tank.

- I think that I shall never see

a tree that runs as fast as me.

- Take to the hills!

- We're under attack! We're under attack!

It sounds like an army.

Do something! Do something!

- You do something. You're our leader.

- Use your wand. Throw some of your magic around.

- I can't, stupid! It doesn't work in case of war.

I can only deal when there's peace.

I can't compete with the big boys.

- Good old Jimmy.

He's using the sound box to frighten the Witch.

Go to it, Jimmy Boy.

- Get some rocks! Try and break some windows!

- Oh!

- Can't we make peace? Peace, please, Witchiepoo!

Go out and tell them we want peace.

- That's it!

Congratulations, you dodo!

You finally came up with something.

- Be careful, your highness.

It could be dangerous out there.

- I'm not going to go out there, you boob!

I'm going to send Mayor Pufnstuf. Let him stop the war!

Oh, Mayor! Mayor!

- Keep the machine guns bombing!

- Peace! Peace!

- What's going on here?

- Out! Out!

We're under attack by an army.

You're the mayor of this island,

go out there and make peace!

- I'll go, Madame. I'll go.

What's the big idea?

Why are you locking us in like this?

- To keep you safe, your majesty,

while I go out and negotiate peace terms with the enemy.

- Make sure you come back and let us out, you hear?

- It'll be my pleasure.

But you know these peace talks could go on for a long time.

We surrender! We surrender!

- Hold your fire, men.

- Nice work, boys. Thanks for saving me.

- It's good to see you again, Puf!

I was sure worried about ya.

- Let's go, fellas.

We better get away before the Witch finds out

the only war around here is in our sound box.

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause he can't do enough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

- The whole army is retreating. All five of them.

Pufnstuf, Jimmy, Cling and Clang, and Freddy Flute.

- They're the whole army?

Drat! We've been tricked.

It's all your fault, you gruesome twosome!

You're stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

- Duh, Stupid Bat checking in, Chief.

I wanna report a war.

- Oh no. This is too much.

What did I ever do to deserve this?

I've tried to be a bad witch.

I try to do evil unto others.

I practice my spells.

Why me?

Why is it always me?

♪ There's a great big rainbow waiting there ♪

♪ At the end of the road ♪

♪ With the answer to our every prayer ♪

♪ At the end of the road ♪

♪ There's a golden door and a golden key ♪

♪ And they're waiting for both you and me ♪

♪ All we have to do is follow the signs we see ♪

♪ To the end of the road ♪

♪ To the end of the road ♪

Whoa!

♪ I got, you got, everybody do got ♪

♪ Someone who cares ♪

♪ By the name of H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Where do ya go when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Well, he can't do a little 'cause he can't do enough ♪

- See ya next week!

- I sure hope so!