Original subtitles

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause he can't do enough ♪

♪ Once upon a summertime ♪

♪ Just a dream from yesterday ♪

♪ A boy and his magic golden flute ♪

♪ Heard a boat from off the bay ♪

♪ "Come and play with me, Jimmy, ♪

♪ Come and play with me ♪

♪ And I will take you on a trip far across the sea" ♪

♪ But the boat belonged to a kooky old witch ♪

♪ Who had in mind the flute to snitch ♪

♪ From her Vroom Broom in the sky ♪

♪ She watched her plans materialize ♪

♪ She waved her wand ♪

♪ The beautiful boat was gone ♪

♪ The skies grew dark, the sea grew rough ♪

♪ And the boat sailed on, and on, and on, ♪

♪ And on, and on, and on ♪

♪ But Pufnstuf was watching too ♪

♪ And knew exactly what to do. ♪

♪ He saw the witch's bold attack ♪

♪ And as the boy was fighting back ♪

♪ He called his rescue racer crew ♪

♪ As often they'd rehearsed ♪

♪ And off to save the boy they flew ♪

♪ But who would get there first ♪

♪ But now the boy had washed ashore ♪

♪ Puf arrived to save the day ♪

♪ Which made the witch so mad and sore ♪

♪ She shook her fist and screamed away ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause he can't do enough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Who's your friend when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Can't do a little 'cause he can't do enough ♪

- Witchiepoo, Witchiepoo, come quickly!

It's the golden flute!

- Where is it?

Where, where?

Outta my way!

You feathered freak!

That schnoz of yours is a deadly weapon!

There they are!

Pufnstuf, Jimmy, all three of them!

They're on their way to Ludicrous Lion!

That's what I tried to tell you!

- And I'll bet they're going to ask Ludicrous

for a way to escape from me!

- Ooh, no one can escape from you, my witchiness!

- Least of all, that beautiful, gorgeous, golden flute!

They may have him now, but he shall soon be mine!

All mine!

- Hitting!

Hitting, always hitting!

- Castle, Castle, with face so cute!

Will I catch that golden flute?

- No chance, you old coot!

- Oh, what do you know?

You got cracks in your plaster!

- That's funny!

Castle, cracks in his plaster!

Stupid Bat!

- Gosh, bet now I got cracks in my plaster, too!

- Step right up, folks!

Here it is!

The miracle fluid of the ages!

Great for curing itchy feet, stuffy noses,

wiggly ears, and hairy goonies!

Galloping sage brush, the mayor himself!

How many bottles of Lion Lotion would you like, your honor?

10, 20, 30?

- No thank you, Ludicrous.

Actually, we came here to see if you could help my friends,

Jimmy and Freddy, here, to get back home.

The witch is after them!

- Greetings and felicitations!

So the old crone is after you, eh?

Well, your troubles are over!

- You mean you can help us escape?

- Really and truly?

- You're as good as home right now, my anxious amigos!

Your troubles are over.

Here you are, my friends!

Lady Luck has smiled on you.

This is the only one left on the entire island!

- What is it?

- A do-it-yourself, intercontinental,

supersonic pogo stick kit!

- Oh brother, here we go again.

- With all the extras, including jet wing attachments,

automatic jumping pedals,

and for additional comfort, in-flight movies!

- Wowee!

- How do you put it together?

- I don't put it together, you do!

That's why it's so very cheap.

Costs only 200 buttons.

- 200 buttons?

- That's what we use for money here on Living Island, Jimmy.

Sorry, Ludicrous, the treasury's empty.

Our buttons have hit bottom!

- "Our buttons have hit bottom."

That's cute.

Also, too bad, folks!

My motto is, "Fly now, pay now!"

Come back when you've got the buttons

and the pogo stick is yours.

- Will you be sure and hold it for us?

We've just got to get away from here!

- It's usually first come, first served,

but since you're with our fine mayor, I'll keep it for you.

- Thanks, Ludicrous!

Come on, boys, we've got some button-raising to do!

Don't forget, 200 of 'em!

And away you go!

- Ludicrous!

That box you showed them was empty!

You don't have any supersonic pogo stick!

- How about that?

- What are you going to do when they come back?

- If they bring 200 buttons with 'em,

I'll think of something.

- Button, button, who's got the buttons?

How are we ever going to get 200 of them?

I've got it!

I've got it!

Why don't we put on a show and charge admission in buttons?

- A show? - Yeah!

And as mayor, you could be the MC

and introduce all the acts!

And I could do a song and dance!

- Me, too!

- You bet, Freddy, we're a team!

- Snazzle, dazzle, and Jiminy Razzle!

If this isn't just about the best idea I've ever heard!

We'll have a show!

A really, really big show!

- I could sing in the show!

Enough of the singing!

Wait 'til they see my dance!

- That chicka-boom stuff is nowhere, man!

This is the beat!

- Hold it, hold it, wait a minute!

Now, we're trying to raise 200 buttons.

And if everybody wants to be in the show,

who's gonna pay to get in?

- Oh, joy, oh, joy!

I've got my boy, they're putting on a show!

- Ooh!

It's about time we got something good on that machine.

Can we watch?

- Watch?

You're going to be in it!

- We are?

- Forgive me, my queen, but I don't follow you.

- You will, you will.

You'll follow me right out onto that stage!

On stage?

In front of people?

- That's right!

Both of you!

Me, too?

- Of course, you wacky weirdo!

Freddy-poo's going to be in the show, too.

And when we get out on stage, grab 'em, he's mine!

Ooh, Seymour, my hair!

I'm going to be in the show, I'm going to be in the show!

- Hurry up, Seymour, hurry!

- I'm hurrying!

Wait a minute!

Your highness is too high!

- Well, lower the chair and hurry!

I wanna be gorgeous.

Hurry, you dimwits!

Flick the switch! - It's flicked!

- Wait a minute!

Stop!

Careful, you dimwits!

Stop the chair!

Stop it, I say!

Orson, help him!

Flick the switch!

- Which switch, witch?

- The switch that says "witch!"

- The witch switch that says "ditch?"

Or the switch in the niche that says "witch chair switch?"

- Seymour, what are you doing?

Drop that comb and get over here!

Stop this chair!

Stop it!

- Stop this chair!

Stop!

Ooh, I'm gonna kill them!

I'll kill them when I get my hands on-

Look at my hair!

It's beautiful!

It's gorgeous!

I'm gorgeous!

I love me!

Sure don't build mirrors like they used to.

♪ If you got heart, you got soul ♪

♪ And you really dig rock and roll ♪

♪ Come on, pets, come on, let's hear it for The Boyds ♪

♪ Hear it for The Boyds, hear it for The Boyds ♪

♪ Hear it for the Boyds ♪

♪ Scrappy, yeah ♪

♪ For the Boyds ♪

- Those Boyds sure dish out a mess of music.

And now, the act you've all been waiting for,

for our visiting guest stars, Jimmy and Freddy!

♪ The subject for today is pronouns ♪

♪ So what do you say we have a couple of go 'rounds ♪

♪ I is a lonely word, you is a happy word ♪

♪ We is a friendly word I much prefer ♪

♪ He is a simple word, she is a tender word ♪

♪ They is a meeting of a him and her ♪

♪ It is a word that can mean anything ♪

♪ It can be either large or small ♪

♪ Mine is a selfish word, yours is a thoughtful word ♪

♪ But ours is the nicest word of all ♪

- Hey, green bud, when do we go on?

Jimmy is singing.

They call that singing?

Man, when you hear us wail!

- Solid crazy!

- We'll be sending!

- Who are you?

- We're the Three Oranges!

You mean to tell me you've never heard any of our records?

Boy, are you a dumb dinosaur!

And square as a pear!

- All right, all right, I'll put you on next.

- Now you're groovin', Clyde!

♪ It is a word that can mean anything ♪

♪ It can be either large or small ♪

♪ Mine is a selfish word, yours is a thoughtful word ♪

♪ But ours is the nicest word of ♪

♪ All ♪

- Nice going, Jimmy and Freddy.

You sure gave them their buttons worth!

- Wasn't it great?

- Man, you got a real cool act!

I dig you!

Gimme some skin!

- Quiet! - There's a show on!

- Howdy, folks!

Now I'd like to introduce our next act,

that fantastic, world-famous singing group, uh...

The Three Oranges!

- Come on, Freddy, baby, lemme congratulate you!

- The Oranges are coming on!

- Who cares?

- Ooh, that's us! - Oh!

- Here they are, The Three Oranges!

- Stick around, buster, and watch a real act!

♪ Oranges-Smoranges, who said ♪

♪ Oranges-Smoranges, who said ♪

♪ Oranges-Smoranges ♪

♪ Who said there ain't no rhyme for oranges ♪

♪ Oranges-Poranges, there's another one ♪

♪ Oranges-Poranges, there's another one ♪

♪ Oranges-Poranges, there's another one ♪

♪ Another rhyme for oranges ♪

♪ People keep on saying that ♪

♪ The one word that's a gem ♪

♪ It's oranges 'cause it's got no rhyme ♪

♪ But we got news for them ♪

♪ Ain't they never heard of Oranges-Smoranges, who said ♪

♪ Oranges-Smoranges, who said ♪

♪ Oranges-Smoranges ♪

♪ Who said there ain't no rhyme for oranges ♪

Get the oranges!

♪ Ain't they never heard of oranges ♪

♪ Poranges ♪

♪ Smoranges ♪

♪ Coranges ♪

No!

A kumquat?

- It's the witch and her gang!

It's the witch, the witch!

- Orson, Seymour, follow me!

Come on!

- Help! - Good heavens!

- Stop her!

Stop the witch!

She's got Freddy!

Help, save me, Jimmy!

- As mayor and chief of police, I order you to stop!

- Come on, Puf!

- To the Vroom Broom!

Let's go!

Contact!

Stop that witch!

Stop!

- Stop!

Put him down!

- This is against the law!

- Stop, I order you to stop!

Help, save me!

- Go, Witchiepoo, go!

- Yeah, go!

- We're too late.

- Help, save me!

- No one can take you now!

You're mine!

You little ticket!

- Nice going, Cling and Clang!

Come on, Pufnstuf, we're gonna get to the witch's castle!

- What'll we do when we get there?

- I don't know, but we've gotta get Freddy!

- Hurry, boys, hurry!

- Well, this is it, Freddy dear!

How do you like your new home?

Isn't it a mad pad?

- It's not my home!

- Please let me go!

- Never, my gold beauty!

You're mine!

Oh, when those other hags see you,

they'll eat their hearts out!

- Other hags?

- The Annual Witches Convention.

You and I are going to do little act together!

Witchiepoo and Freddy!

Oh, we'll knock 'em for a loop!

- Wait a minute, what about us, The Three Oranges?

- Yeah!

- Go to your cage, you freaky fruitcakes!

You ruined our number

and embarrassed me in front of the whole island!

- But you got Freddy, didn't you?

- You can't dump us just like that!

- That's showbiz.

Now go to your cage,

or I'll turn you both into centipedes with bad feet!

One, two, three, you're under lock and key!

- This is showbiz?

- And now, my little gold darling, play for me.

A-one, a-two...

- No!

I'll never play for you!

- What's the matter, do I have bad breath or something?

- You're all bad!

I'll never play for you, never!

- Well, we'll see about that.

You play for me, or else!

- Or else what?

- How would you like to be a French fried flute?

- Here we are.

Quiet, boys!

Come on, Jimmy.

Let's go, tippy-toes!

There are the guards.

Quick, come on back here.

Guards, guards!

Yoo-hoo, guards!

- Grab 'em! - I got 'em!

- Look at 'em run!

Nice work, Jimmy.

- Let's get into these things.

- Gee, I hope they fit.

- How about it, my stubborn little songbird?

Will you play for me now,

or shall I melt you down into gold buttons?

- Let's go, Jimmy!

We better hurry!

Come on, tippy-toes!

- All right, you little brat!

This is your last chance!

In you go!

- Oh, oh, no, please stop!

I'll play for you!

- Well now, that's better, dearie.

I knew we could get along!

Okay, partner, get out!

Here we go!

Witchiepoo and Freddy!

What's with the dirge?

Come on, up the beat!

- I'm trying, but I don't feel very good!

Step it up!

Let's start grooving!

Do that like you did with Jimmy!

They'll throw rocks at us with a number like that!

I'm trying!

- We've gotta get her away from Freddy

so we can grab him.

- I've got an idea.

- No, no, that will never do!

What are you two doing here?

You're supposed to be guarding the castle!

- We heard music.

We came to see what was wrong.

- That's not music, and there's plenty wrong!

This overgrown stick won't play for me!

Play, drat you!

Play!

Of all the stubborn, stupid flutes!

- Jimmy?

- Come on, up the beat!

Jazz it up!

Or it's into the pot for you!

Well, that's more like it!

Go, go!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Well, just don't stand there!

Grab a partner, me!

Pufnstuf!

Grab Freddy!

- Those aren't my guards!

They're swiping Freddy!

Orson, Seymour, after them!

Orson, Seymour!

Don't let them get away!

Grab them, do something, do something!

- We can't get it open!

Use your wand, Witchiepoo!

Quick, it's your only chance!

- Ice, snow, sneeze and wheeze!

I order you to stand and freeze!

Drat!

It doesn't work when it's soggy!

Bye, soggy witch!

- Oh, when this thing dries, will I give it to them!

Up, wand, up!

♪ I is a lonely word, you is a happy word ♪

♪ We is a friendly word I much prefer ♪

♪ He is a simple word, she is a tender word ♪

♪ They is a meeting of a him and her ♪

♪ It is a word that can mean anything ♪

♪ It can be either large or small ♪

♪ Mine is a selfish word, yours is a thoughtful word ♪

♪ But ours is the nicest word of all ♪

Woo!

♪ I've got, you got, everybody here got ♪

♪ Someone who cares by the name of H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Where do you go when things get rough ♪

♪ H.R. Pufnstuf ♪

♪ Well, he can't do a little 'cause he can't do enough ♪

- See you next week!

- I sure hope so!