Original subtitles

Love has no Borders

WELCOME TO LICOLA

Beato! You have to change your underwear today.

Pass me a ground ball.

Give it to me.

C'mon, pass the ball!

-Beato! You want a coffee? -No, no coffee for me.

I had one in my car.

I will make you a punch then, ok?

"THE SCREAM" BAR ICE-CREAM SHOP

You all right?

Yesterday Fatima cooked a 4 meters long eel called Aristide,...

...which wasn't an eel, it was a warrior.

And then peppers filled with ricotta, provola, eggplants,...

...seafood, ham and meatballs.

And for dessert?

Yesterday morning, Fatima, against her will,...

...was forced by me to get on the 6 AM flight to Palermo.

She came back home with a cassata by Don Carmelo Macaluso in the afternoon.

No need to say more.

Is this the meeting spot? It is.

Very pleased to meet you. I'm Trepiedi Beato.

Shut your pie hole. My name's Chierichetto Boom Boom.

If you want to be safe with the Mahatma, don't forget...

...to be petty but not obvious, staid but cheerful,...

...sometimes dazzling, thoughtful but mild.

Beware of acting too tough or plumbeous.

What's plumbeous?

You're dressed like shit.

Don't you have a nice jacket like mine?

I don't know what the Mahatma wants from you.

It's a mystery to all of us.

He hasn't seen anyone for years, the last one was Reagan.

Hi Beato. I'm Nello Monello.

Nello Monello? The stylist from the neighborhoods?

Untouched. But please don't be on first name terms with me.

You're selling a lot of these sleeveless fur coats, aren't you?

Yes, a lot. You know, it's just pret-a-porter for the common people...

...I love, for the masses.

Now I'll introduce to you Ettore Majorana, nuclear physicist.

-This is Gino Tepore. -Also known as Wizard Topaz.

And she's Eva Primadonna.

Eva Primadonna.

This Mahatma is so handsome. He had six facial plastic surgeries.

You look plumbeous.

I fucking had it, Chieriche'! Don't worry, I'm doing fine.

Just let me focus.

You look a little plumbeous, sweetie.

I was a hitman too, Beato.

I was twenty years old. Now I stay still.

Though I exceed. That's what power is about.

Being able to stay still and exceed at the same time.

Topaz, I'm so hungry. Why don't you do your usual magic?

The one where you materialize a rice timbale in front of us.

Are you really talking, Majorana?

Didn't I say you could talk only on the odd days?

How is my blood pressure?

11 as minimum, 400 as maximum.

-My blood pressure is a mystery. -It must have been the meatloaf.

WELL!!!

It preys on my mind but I have to say that here, after twenty years...

...of harmonious cooperation, it seems that I've been...

...betrayed!

Betrayed by one of the fantastic four.

I'm telling you right away it wasn't my wife.

It was one of these three.

One whom I scooped up off a stinky shit...

...and that I made advance!

Progress: this long and hard road which leads to me.

Hey, do you know what that nasty fuck whose name I can't even speak said?

Do you know how he betrayed me?

This scumbag has dared to say that I, the Mahatma, have recently got a bit...

...fat!

-Where? -Here, on my shoulders!

-Can you believe this? -Who's the asshole?

If I catch him, I'll materialize a rice ball and throw it in his face.

But...it's an accusation without any...

Very true!

My life has been an orgy of generosity!

Now you, a hitman with parallelepiped shaped balls, must guess who it was.

And you must kill him shamelessly in front of me right now.

May I have a bit of this cheese?

I told you were an exquisite psychologist.

Come here, sweetie. Light me this cigar, c'mon.

Beato... do you remember me?

Evari', what's going on?

I'm going away forever today.

I wrote you a poem.

-The last one. -Read it to me.

My love, masturbate me with the globe, I want to come over Morocco,...

...I'm generous, I want to do some volunteering.

I will solve Sahara's aridity.

My love, becareful how much you push,...

...as I could flood the Nile. It might be a massacre.

I destroyed all the crop fields.

It's really true. Love has no borders.

Beato, my love.

What's in your hands?

Subtitles by TUO PADRE