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Yeah, the light's better right there. Now kiss me.

Well, no, not like that.

You're not going off to war. Just a-a sweet, gentle peck.

Mm. Okay, wait. Wait.

I've, uh, I've never hated anything this much.

We gotta get their attention. Cough.

Not in my face, dude. Turn your head and cough.

Ooh, Ellie and I play that game.

She wears a surgical mask and nothing else.

Andy, boundaries.

Have you told these guys you two are hooking up yet?

Great. Now you look.

Come on.

I know this is huge, so let's hear it.

I thought you guys were already dating. Well, Smith, in a few minutes,

I'm giving out the "who invited you?" award,

And you oughta get your speech ready. Sorry, Jules, but you're not in a relationship yet.

It has to last at least nine days before I consider it real.

It's the same rule that I have

For hair extensions or foster parents. Your rules are--

Ah, sweetie. This is Jules' time.

But I have to let it out.

Whisper what you were gonna SA

Really?

Trav, me and Grayson-- thoughts? Feelings?

Whatever makes you happy.

Hey, new dad, you give me 20 bucks,

I'll never call you "new dad" again.

Winner.

Thank you. See you, mom.

I love you, new dad.

That feels right.

That is the longest, meanest thing I've ever heard. No, I'm not done yet.

Come on.

It'd be more romantic if you ran your fingers through my hair.

Yeah, it would be.

She's not going for it, buddy. I wonder why, dad.

What?

Today's special for us.

It is? It's our 7-month anniversary.

You screwed the pooch, trav-y.

Seven months is a big one.

Is it, dad? I don't know. I'm just talking.

Hey, is there any more of that fancy salami left? I just ate the last piece.

Oh, man. I wish I could be your mouth.

Dad, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh.

Look, your house is great,

But do you ever think we could sleep over here?

No. When I'm in your bedroom,

I feel like balloons are gonna start falling from the ceiling,

Like I'm the "millionth customer." eee.

That's funny. I should rig that up.

No, you really shouldn't. Jules, in a relationship--

Oh, w-w-w-w-wait.

If you're gonna start pontificating

About relationships,

I'm gonna have to record this on my phone.

'cause I guarantee you,

This will come back to bite you on the ass.

I ain't scurred. Mm-hmm.

Jules, in a relationship,

Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

It's part of being a couple.

That's a good one. Okay.

You know, I can't believe that no one cared that we're dating.

What?

Did you tell... Everyone?

Bobby.

Bobby!

Bobby.

Bob-by.

Bobby?

Dad.

Bobby!

Bobby!

Bobby!

What's up?

Nothing. Sometimes I just like to say your name out loud.

Me, too.

But I whisper it. Bobby.

We all just forgot to tell him. It's nobody's fault.

It feels like your fault. Let me have this, trav.

I let you have "girls dig guys with skinny arms."

That's private. This is gonna crush Bobby. He still carries a torch for you.

Plus, Grayson is his second best friend. Who's his first best?

I will fight you right here. Why does our baby keep saying "bobby"?

Bobby. Bobby.

Bobby. Bobby.

Who knows why babies do things?

Okay, so who do we think should tell him?

You. You, for sure.

I don't want to break his heart again.

Maybe Andy should tell him. You are his best friend.

That's right, bitch. Or Grayson. 'cause you're not only his friend,

But you're also the one doing filthy things to his ex.

Still here, just in case you were wondering.

What are you doing?

So skinny. They're like.

Yeah. Aw!

Okay, we know it's gotta be one of the three of us, so I think

There's only one thing that we can do to solve this.

Ultimate Penny can. This is how it works--

Ellie is gonna ask a question about Bobby.

You get it right, you move a step closer.

Last player left has to drop the bomb on Bobby.

Let's begin.

Grayson, what's been Bobby's favorite beach activity

Since he was 4?

I just met him, like, six months ago--

Incorrect. Jules?

He loves to feed the seagulls at the beach

Because it makes him feel like a bird God.

Wrong! He used to love to do that

Until he tried to share a hot dog with one,

And it ain't ate the whole t. Very selfish. Oh, that's right.

His new favorite beach activity is being buried in the sand

'cause he likes to imagine himself being just a head.

Correct. Ah, thank you.

This could be trouble for us.

A Cheeto shaped like Bruce Willis.

Francis bacon, because it sounds delicious.

Boz scaggs.

Uncircumcised.

J.C.

The Hispanic mechanic.

Tolstoy.

Penny can!

Boom! Best friend out.

Damn it!

Oh, sweetie. I gotta go meet Kylie.

Can you believe all this attitude she's giving me

About forgetting a 7-month anniversary?

It depends. Has she ever let you see her completely naked?

For, like, eight seconds. We were changing to go swimming.

What up? Then just go take your lumps and move on.

Or I could tell her how ridiculous she's being.

Trav, I know that Kylie is a sweet, innocent little flower,

But if you go at her,

She will take off that sweet, little mask, and you will see...

Don't ever do that again.

Okay, I'm just gonna show you the mouth. Ready?

How did Bobby's Uncle Ricky lose his Ne?

Dynamite fishing.

Correct!

Yes!

The fact that I am still standing back here should prove

That I'm not the right person to tell Bobby about anything!

Whiny baby, say "what?"

What?

Game over, sucka!

Dagnabbit!

About what "star wars" character has Bobby always said,

"if you throw a skirt on one of those furry little things,

I would totally hit that"?

Ah, the hell with this.

Oh ho ho! Penny can!

No! I knew that one!

An ewok!

He wants to make love to an ewok!

Surprise.

Hey, I can't believe you're at my place.

How much snooping have you done?

Your hipster wool hat collection?

Really?

We're in Florida. Don't be that guy.

Sometimes they look cool. On planet douche-Alon.

Lovely. Okay, so how did your, uh, talk with Bobby go?

Oh, so great, except that it didn't happen.

You see, I was hoping that maybe tomorrow

We could do it together. No way in hell.

Jules, in a relationship,

Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

It's part of being a couple. That's taken out of context.

Yore so in.

Look at me. I'm Grayson.

What is she doing here?

Ellie used to be a deejay,

And, uh, she happened to give you a little remix here.

Jules, sometimes in a relationship...

Jules, in-your-face dance. I don't know that one.

It's just the running man. Come on. * Being a couple, being a couple ?/i>

* being a--being a-- being a--being a-- */i>

Being a couple * /i> okay, Grayson, we're not staying here.

Go get your p.J.S. We're going to my house. Stupid relationship.

* you have to do things you don't want to do */i>

* you don't want to do, Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules */i>

You have--you have-- you have to do things */i>

* you don't want to do, do, do, it's part of being a couple */i>

Here's your beer, buddy.

You know what really sucked about hanging out with Travis?

He was with Kylie,

And I could really sense that they didn't want me there.

You know, I have a radar for stuff like that. Do you now?

Yeah. You want a tug of my beer?

Why not? Put it in my hand.

Bob-by.

No way! It worked.

What worked?

Andy?

You want a cappuccino?

You're a jerk.

How about a frappuccino? Look, you cannot still be mad.

A 7-month anniversary?

It's a lite ridiculous.

You skinny-armed little bitch!

You saw her devil face, huh?

I can still see it.

Trav, you're not dating girls anymore.

You're dating women, and when a woman is mad,

You need to know how to play defense.

Well, what does Smith do? If I'm totally raging, he just starts nodding a lot

And throws money around. First time I've ever been jealous of you.

Thanks, Ellie. You're welcome.

Nice moment over? So over.

Good. It felt wrong.

Travis, ere are plenty of defensive styles out there.

We just have to find the one that's right for you.

You seem like you'd be a good crier.

I'm not, but I'm glad I give off that vibe. Cool. Hey, babe.

Don't talk to me. I am raging!

Do you wanna go shopping?

I guess so.

Okay, everybody, everybody, he's coming!

Come on. Andy! Get out of the pool!

All right. It's happening! Here.

Good morning, everybody.

Fo' shizzle, fo' shizzle, fo' shizzle. Word!

Hey, player. Namaste, dude. What's up?

I don't want to date you anymore.

Yeah, you do, dawg.

I'm psyched y'all dropped by.

I'll go grab us some beers.

Ooh! But the fridge is broke, so I'll put 'em on ice.

If the refrigerator's broken, then where's he gonna get--

I don't have ice. Why don't you just put 'em in the toilet tank

For a few minutes? That'll cool 'em down.

All right. Here's the plan. Why do we need a plan?

Because Bobby is a runner.

Any time he gets news that he doesn't want to deal with,

He bolts. You should've seen him

When I tried to give him our divorce papers.

Bobby, it's for the best!

Where'd you get an a.T.V.? From a lifeguard. Der!

He just... let you borrow it?

What are you, a Detective? Hand me those shoes.

Aah!

All right. He ain't running nowhere. It's a great plan.

Right? I don't have a toilet.

Warm beer.

Ooh.

I cannot believe you taught Stan how to say "bobb"

I have a list of all the movies you've ever wanted to see,

And every time Stan says the name "bobby,"

I'm gonna ruin the ending movies you've for you.Ted to see,

this is good for you to see.

Andy is a fantastic defensive player.

This is good he's sleepin'..

No, he's just pretending.

Watch.

Andy, come on. Talk to us.

Does Ellie still look mad? At the end of "teen wolf," he wins the big game

Without having to turn into a teen wolf.

Damn it, woman. I waited 25 years to see that!

Why?

Look, Bobby, the reason we're here is because...

We really care about you.

Oh, I can't tell you how bad I needed to hear that right now.

Can I show you something?

Look at those two.

It's so cute. It's bull crap is what it is.

I'm a third wheel to my own dog.

I'm a third wheel with Travis and Kylie.

I'm a third wheel to Ellie and Andy.

Ll, even Laurie's got a boyfriend.

Uh, um, Bobby, Grayson and I, uh...

You wanna jump in there?

Huh? No. Mnh-mnh. You're crushing it.

Guys, we're the last three standing.

Now I hate to be daddy downer,

But I have to say, if I was the only one single,

I don't know what I would do.

Me, neither. To us, the single folk.

I couldn't tell Bobby. It would've destroyed him.

Oh, this sucks.

What? Sex has to equal free wine.

Why don't you just, uh, steal my tips, too?

Oh, great. Yeah. I'm going out for ice cream later.

All right. We gotta come up with a new plan. What is it with you and plans?

Everything works better when you have a plan--

Birthdays, vacations, murders. I don't know why I said murders.

It's not like I daydream about trying to get away with one.

That would be weird.

Why didn't you just tell him? Hmm?

Why does everything always have to be so difficult with you?

Hat wasn't the right thing to say. Oh, this is good.

Now you're gonna get to see Grayson's defense mechanism.

When a woman really goes at him, he just shuts down like a robot.

Aren't you Bobby's friend?

Don't you care about his feelings?

And shut down.

Oh, you know what? You get to stay at your place tonight.

Enjoy it.

And reboot.

Holy crap. My mom's dating the Terminator.

You know why I'd rather play fetch with you than my dog?

It's 'cause you would never bring the ball back

To your tiny, little dog girlfriend.

You'd ing it to me. Bros before hos, man.

This is not where we hang out now.

Hey, ladies. Gray matter! Get involved, baby.

Fine. Beer me.

There you go. I'm sorry for still third-wheelin' it, Ellie.

I just miss the days of us just being friends hanging out.

But now everyone's all coupled up, raising kids and wot.

Just seems like we don't have time

To be PS anymore, you know? I do.

What are you doing?

No, Jules, listen.

It's not happening tonight, Grayson.

So you wanna take a quick gander at what you're missing?

Bam! Freshly moisturized.

Mm. Yep. Must hurt just a little bit, hmm?

I have a plan. Shut up! You have a plan?

I know. Fir time ever. Now flash me again.

No, no. Tell me the plan. Oh, Ne.

Okay. Tell me everything!

About what?

Okay, Grayson d I have an idea.

Tonight we're all gonna go to the beach.

And build a bonfire just like the old days.

And here's the catch--we're all gonna go just as friends.

No couples allowed. Couples can't even ride there together.

Hell, yeah, Jules.

Singles' party at the beach, huh? Barb like-y.

Frolicking in the waves,

Your privates getting sandblasted

So they shine like a bowling trophy. You done?

Not yet.

That's why I always carry my swimsuit.

What does that even cover? It looks like a net.

It catches all the little fishies.

Bye, little fish.

It do you see what I have to deal with?

He still hasn't picked a defensive style. He'd better do it soon,

Or he should strap it on for a lifetime of this.

Yeah, well, thanks again for coming over.

Uh, look, I don't really like playing games in relationships,

So maybe I don't need a "style."

Women are gonna eat you alive. You're probably right.

I was just trying to teach you. I know you were.

Wait a minute.

Are you just constantly agreeing to shut us up?

Yeah.

Do you like it?

It's brilliant!

You're the "yes" man.

Yes!

Yes, I am.

It's beach time! Trav, go join the guys.

Lies, let's ride.

All right. Whee!

I felt I was right, and you were wrong. Totally.

And leave our boyfriends behind

This was a great idea. I mean, look at him.

I'm just a head on the beach!

Hey, Andy, come over here

And pretend to hike me like a football. Whoo-hoo!

24! Hut, hut, hut! Ohh.

Look, he's happy, plus he's buried in the sand,

So he can't run away when we talk to him.

It really was the perfect plan.

Thank you.

What the hell?!

That wasn't smart.

We'll give you guys a few minutes.

He's just lonely, you know? I hope he's okay.

I hope so, too.

Okay, Bobby, you can't run away.

I'm not trying to run away.

I'm trying to burrow deeper.

How the hell can you guys do this?

I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. Yeah, me, neither.

The worst part is knowing that everyone's laughing at me.

Bobby Cobb, you listen to me.

No one is laughing at you.

Hell, we all love you so much that we're here

Just trying to figure out how to get you through this.

That's why we're at the beach tonight.

'cause we're just trying to show you

That nothing could stop us from being friends.

I'd do anything for you.

You promise to take care of her?

Of course, buddy

You promise to take care of him?

Why don't you let us take care of you for a while?

Want me to dig you out of there?

Not yet. Just sit.

You know, this was a great night.

It really was.

To Bobby Cobb!

"What about Bobby?"

Happy one millionth customer!

Oh, oh, oh! oh, God.

Ho-ho-ho! You think you're funny, don't you?

I'm never sleeping here again.

Oh, well, then I'd better get my money's worth.

* Jules, you have to do things */i>

Huh, dawg? I look pretty cool, right, dawg?

Well, you can frown all you want,

Because you're not going anywhere.

I hid all your clothes.

Happy one millionth customer!

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